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a complicated thing

Summary:

In the beginning, May Parker hated Tony Stark. Over time, when she saw how much he loved Peter, everything changed.

Notes:

Endgame killed me, and I've only been able to write this since. I really want to do more in the future, hopefully some fix-its for the death-that-shall-not-be-named at the end. Anyways, enjoy May learning to love Tony and her friendship with Pepper and appreciating what he did for Peter :)

Work Text:

May Parker hated Tony Stark.

She hated the way he swept into hers and Peter’s lives with his money and charm. It wasn’t bad, necessarily. Not on the surface. It was good that Peter got some new things for his bedroom, good that he had an older man in his life to look up to—it hadn’t been the same since Ben died all those years ago.

It didn’t mean that the man had to be Tony fucking Stark.

She was old enough to remember the Tony Stark that Peter couldn’t. She remembered everything before the Afghanistan kidnapping—and the publicity shitshow that came after. A thousand different versions of Stark existed, and she didn’t know what this one wanted with her kid, especially after he came to her house bruised to hell a few weeks after Germany for dinner.

“I invited him,” Peter told her in the kitchen.

“And you didn’t tell me?” May forced a teasing note into her voice, hoping it masked the annoyance that she was serving Tony Stark Kraft mac and cheese.

Peter smiled weakly. “Surprise?”

The actual meal passed without a hitch, Peter carrying most of the conversation. After, though, when he was on the couch watching some Star Trek rerun and she was washing dishes, Tony came to her side, sleeves rolled to his elbows.

“Need help?” he asked.

“Don’t you have people to help you wash dishes?” she said. “Do you know how?”

“I dabble in dishwashing.” He leaned against the countertop, arms folded across his chest and a small smile on his face as he watched Peter. “Your boy’s smart.”

“I know.”

“I want to help him, May.”

She pursed her lips.

“Oh, I’ve seen Pepper give me that look. You don’t believe me.”

“Don’t you dare hurt him,” she said. “He’s been through a lot, and—”

“May.” He put a hand on her shoulder and met her eyes. With his glasses off, his gaze was striking, intense. “I wouldn’t. Don’t worry.”

She heard him.

She didn’t know if she believed him.

 

#

 

As soon as Peter went to bed, May picked up her phone and dialled Tony’s number.

He picked up. “This is—”

“Spider-Man?” she shouted. She heard Peter stir in his bedroom. “Spider-Man,” she repeated, quieter this time. “He’s Spider-Man and you didn’t tell me?”

He sighed. “I’m coming over.”

Before she could reply, he hung up. She paced the apartment, phone clenched in her hand. An hour passed, then a knock came at her door. When she answered it, Tony stood in the foyer, wearing jeans and an AC/DC shirt, carrying a six pack of beer.

“Figured this conversation would be easier with something to drink,” he said.

She closed the door behind him. They walked to the kitchen. He set the beers on the table, then slid one to her.

“Yeah,” he said. “He swore me to secrecy.”

“You let a fifteen year-old swear you to secrecy?” she replied.

“He’s a very convincing kid and can lift a ton without sweating, so yes, I let him.”

“So he’s been… stopping all those crimes and…” She chugged the rest of her beer and opened another. “All those criminals .”

“Look.” He leaned on his elbows, meeting her eye. “Before me, he was swinging around in his pajamas. Way I see this, he’s gonna do it with or without me. I gave him a suit, I gave him training protocols. He and his friend hacked into it, though, and he started messing around with the advanced shit. It’s exactly what I would’ve done.”

“That doesn’t make me feel better.”

“I’m realizing that now.” He sighed. “I won’t lie to you. The stuff he’s doing isn’t exactly safe, but I’m taking every precaution to keep him out of the big leagues, away from the shit that could kill him. Kid gives me gray hairs.”

“Give you gray hairs? My kid has been…” She pressed her hand to her forehead. “I have to talk to him about curfews and rules…” She paused, waiting for him to cut in and tell her that she was overreacting. Instead, he nodded along. “You want him to have rules?”

“Of course I do. Like I said, it makes my anxiety better to know he’s safe.”

“Anxiety?”

“PTSD and anxiety, but we aren’t here to talk about that. Look, we have the same goal. We’re gonna keep that kid safe, between the two of us. You have final say. I’m trying to be… better, really, in a lot of aspects of my life, and he’s part of that.”

She nodded. “Okay. Okay, we can work with this.”

He stayed for a little longer. As they spoke, she realized he was quieter than he was in interviews, spoke with more care. His laugh was less polished, more giggly than she’d heard in public situations. When he left, he smiled, and she had to remind herself she was not supposed to like him. Not at all.

Only when he left did she realize he hadn’t touched the alcohol.

I’m trying to be… better , he’d said.

Maybe he was telling the truth.

 

#

 

It was almost easier after May knew. She could have agency in this whole superhero act and haggle over hours with Tony Stark. It also meant that dinners with Tony Stark and Pepper Potts became her reality. Dinners where Peter and Tony threw pasta at each other while Pepper half-heartedly tried to get them to stop but occasionally joined in. Even during after dinner drinks, it still felt surreal to be in Tony and Pepper’s house .

She watched as Peter and Tony washed dishes together, pausing every few moments to giggle. Pepper sat down next to May, a gentle smile on her face.

“I’ve been wanting to have you over for ages,” she said. “Peter’s good for him.”

“I still can’t believe it,” May replied. “The whole hero thing…”

"It used to terrify me. I told him I wouldn’t sit around and watch him die. That was a long, long time ago. Things have obviously changed. I would never leave him, not now. I still think I’m going to watch him die one day.” Pepper nodded to herself, not meeting May’s eyes. “I don’t have illusions. He’ll never stop being Iron Man. That’s okay. I appreciate every day with him. I appreciate every day Peter spends with him.”

“Pepper…” May didn’t know what to say to that. It made watching Tony wash dishes feel darker. More urgent. “I don’t know how you do it.”

Pepper smirked. “He went through eleven assistants before me.”

“Eleven?” May echoed.

“Yeah. They kept walking in on him with cover models and quitting.”

“What’d you do?”

“Stood there and told him his schedule while the girl panicked and Tony sat there listening patiently. Honestly, I thought it was a riot.” She chuckled, sipping her wine. “I loved him even then. I knew it wasn’t an if , but a when. When we were ready for each other.”

“I never knew that.”

“We kept things out of the press. He’s a good man, May. He takes care of the people around him.”

May smiled to herself as she watched Peter splash water on Tony, both of them laughing uncontrollably. Tony wasn’t her favorite, sure, but even she could recognize he wasn’t all bad.

Not even close to all bad.

 

#

 

One night, Happy drove May to the Avengers Compound in the middle of the night. Rhodes met her outside and brought her into the medical wing. She nearly burst into tears when she entered Peter and Tony’s shared rooms, Rhodes on her heels.

Peter and Tony laid on one bed, Peter’s head lolling onto Tony’s shoulder and a steady stream of drool dripping onto Tony’s tank top. Bruises and cuts littered Tony’s body, but Peter seemed unharmed. Tony’s arms were tight, nearly protective, around Peter.

“What happened?” May asked, unable to tear her eyes away from the bed.

Rhodes ran his hand over his face. “Attempted kidnapping. Well, they got them for a few hours. Tony kept the dudes away from Peter.”

“How?”

Rhodes motioned at the bed, at Tony’s bruised and bloodied state.

Oh, May thought.

As Rhodes walked out, Tony groaned and stirred. May watched as he blinked groggily, still careful not to jostle Peter. He met May’s eyes, rose his hand, then wiggled his fingers in a pathetic attempt at a wave.

“The Colonel said you two were kidnapped?” May whispered.

“Yeah, the old grab ‘em off the streets ,” Tony replied.

“He also said… you protected Peter.”

“I did what I could to keep their attention on me. They really liked their knives, and blowtorches, and that one sadistic bastard, surgical tools. I think I’m missing a goddamn molar.” He shifted his jaw and rubbed the side of his face.

“He pulled out a tooth?”

“I may have been getting mouthy. Anything to keep them away from Peter, though, and I didn’t get waterboarded, so we’re calling this a win.”

His words hit May like a bullet to the heart. Anything to keep them away from Peter. “You would’ve died for him,” she blurted. “You really would have. You care for him.”

Tony swallowed hard. “I tried so hard not to. You don’t even know, May. The people who I care about… they always get hurt.”

“He weasels his way into your heart, right?”

“One day I was listening to messages about old women and churros, the next day I would kill for him. I would die for him.”

May grinned. “Welcome to my world, Stark.”

 

#

 

Two years passed in a blink. Tony Stark became a fixture in May and Peter’s lives. He was too young to recognize it, but May… May knew.

Nothing lasted forever.

 

#

 

Tony Stark showed up at her door three weeks after half the world’s population turned to dust. She considered not answering it. Every moment she didn’t, Peter was still alive. He was still out there. When he knocked again, though, she staggered to the door.

He was far too thin. His collarbone protruded under jaundiced skin, and his face was haggard and stretched. As soon as he saw her, his lower lip started trembling, and tears slid over his hollowed cheeks.

“No,” she said.

He turned away, crying harder.

“Stark…” A thousand things to say came to mind. Berating him for losing her kid. Screaming at him for bringing Peter into this life in the first place. Murdering him on the spot.

“Right under my hands,” Tony said. His voice broke on the last word. “He died in my arms. I tried. I thought if I could hold him tight enough…”

She didn’t say anything she thought.

She pulled Tony into her arms and held him. Like this, she could tell he was malnourished. Probably in no condition to be out of bed. She needed to call Pepper. They sank to the floor together. He rested her chin on her shoulder, tears falling onto her clothes. She knew what he was looking at—there was a photo of Peter on the coffee table from his eighth grade graduation, him with his gap-toothed smile and bangs that fell into his eyes.

“I’m sorry,” Tony sobbed. “I’m sorry.”

She exhaled, closing her eyes. Her boy. She’d lost her baby. Tony had lost, too, though.

“I’m glad you were with him,” she whispered. “So glad.”

“I’m going to bring him back.” He shuddered and went limp against her. “One day, I’ll bring him back. Watch.”

He collapsed.

May called Pepper.

 

#

 

Every few months, Tony and May had lunch. They never started off talking about Peter. They talked about their lives—Tony about Pepper and her pregnancy, when it came about, and May about the men she’d been seeing or work. Eventually, though, the conversation came back to Peter. It always did. Despite being absent, his gravity remained.

Tony brought his daughter one day. Morgan.

“This is Peter’s auntie,” Tony said, holding Morgan’s hand as she approached May. “Can you say hi to Miss May?”

“Hi, Miss May,” the little girl parroted. She looked up at him with dark, unassuming eyes—Tony’s eyes.

“Hi, Morgan.” She crouched down and offered her hand. “Very nice to meet you.”

Morgan placed her tiny hand in May’s. “Peter is my brother. Does that mean you’re my auntie, too?”

“She, uh, doesn’t understand that Peter isn’t related to her,” Tony said. “I tried to explain it to her. She went all anarchist and ate all the juice pops. He’s her brother now.” He shrugged, not meeting May’s eyes. “When she’s old enough, we’ll explain, and hopefully—”

“Tony.” She stood and laid her hand on Tony’s shoulder. “It okay. She… I’m glad she knows about him.”

“Spider-Man!” Morgan shouted gleefully. She pointed at a picture of Peter. “I wanna be Spider-Man, too, Daddy. Can I be Spider-Man?”

“Dream big, baby.” Tony wiped his eyes and smiled at May. “She loves him already.”

“That doesn’t surprise me at all,” May whispered. “You loved him.”

Tears filled his eyes again. “I still do, May. Always will.”

 

#

 

Years passed. May met with Tony. She missed Peter.

She didn’t think things would ever change.

Then again, she thought she would always hate Tony Stark.

 

#

 

When May heard that the dusted were returned to the world, she had two thoughts.

The first. Peter.

The second. What did Stark do?

After it was over, she saw Peter’s red-rimmed eyes and bloodstained hands and knew.

Tony Stark was dead.

He fell into her arms sobbing, clutching her tight. She rocked with him, thinking of what Tony said all those years ago. Maybe if she held him tight enough, she could save him from the pain of losing the man who had been a father to him. Maybe she could save him from the grief that came next. He fell asleep without speaking much, still nestled in her arms.

They found themselves at Tony’s home with Pepper, Rhodey, and Happy. One night, May left her bedroom for a drink of water and found Peter curled up on the couch, Morgan cradled in his arms, both asleep. Pepper sat in a rocking chair, watching them with a ruined expression on her face.

I loved him even then , May remembered Pepper saying all those years ago. I knew it wasn’t an if, but a when. When we were ready for each other.

“Sweetie,” May said, kneeling in front of Pepper. “I’m so sorry.”

She held Pepper close as she sobbed quietly so as not to wake Morgan and Peter. The universe had been saved, yes, but a gaping part of it was missing. Morgan would miss him, Peter would miss him, Pepper would miss him. May would miss him in her own way.

I told you not to hurt him, Stark , she thought.

She wanted to hate Tony Stark for dying. She tried. She tried so hard.

But as much as she tried, she couldn’t.

She simply couldn’t.