Chapter Text
Karkat sat on the edge of the shade. He couldn't believe the humans thought it was hot! This was a normal day in Alternia, but he had to admit that the jacket, pants, and gloves did add to the edge a bit. Something to his left rattled, and he turned to see a small creature with a long body, coiled up so only it's head and tail stuck out. Staring at it a minute, he reached out and quickly snagged it by just behind the head.
"Hey, Egbert, what's this?" he asked, holding it up to the human's face. And John proceeded to shriek like a little girl.
"Rattle snake!" he screamed. Karkat just stared at it. The only menacing thing was the fangs, but otherwise it looked harmless. It did thrash about quite a bit, making more rattling with it's tail. "That thing in poisonous!"
"Take off the head," Rose said calmly. "Snake is good meat. And John, a snake that can't use it's fangs is harmless." Karkat obliged and pinched off the head, and the thing stopped moving. "If we make a fire, we can cook it. But we will wait until nightfall for that." So Karkat tossed the body of the corpse onto John's lap, who yelped one more time.
"Karkitty! That's gross!" he whined.
"What the hell did you just call me?!" Karkat growled and grabbed the boy's hair.
"Ow! Sorry!" John whimpered. As soon as the troll let him go, he added, "But not really!"
"You little..." Karkat growled something in his native tongue, and John correctly interpretted it as an insult. He just sat there and laughed.
Hours later, the sun had just started to set. "We should get fuel for a fire," Rose said. Jade and a few others had fallen asleep, but now they blinked awake. Even Becquerel began to softly stir.
"It's still bright out!" Nepeta mewed, and Equius gave her his glasses. "Thankies!"
"I'll go," Dave stood up.
"But your shoulder..." Jade started.
"It's fine," he replied. A new voice broke in.
"I'd listen to the girl."
Before anyone knew what was happening, five agents, all holding hand guns, had the cleft surrounded, blocking all exits. Dave instinctly took out his sword.
"Do you really want a fight, Strider? I don't care who your brother is, your still well out numbered." Who ever was the agent speaking reminded Dave creepily of Mr. Smith from the Matrix. Which was no where near as shitty as some of the other movies John made him watch.
"Out numbered and out matched are two different things," Dave said. Less than a second later he disappeared and reappeared behind the agent. Before he could strike, the man whirled around and punched him hard in his bad shoulder. "Where I come from, that's considered a cheap shot," Dave panted.
"Well, you're not in Kansas anymore, Dorothy!" the other man smirked.
"Who needs Kansas when you can live in Texas?" Dave disappeared again to appear behind a different agent, only to have a swift chop delivered to the base of his neck, and another to his weak shoulder. Grunting, he fell to the ground. Immediately his arms were seized by two agents. Looking up at his friends with determined eyes, he gave a simple command. "Go."
"Dave! We can't-" Jade spoke up.
"I said go!" In a flash, they were all gone, and Dave was left alone with the agents. A different agent spoke up.
"Sir, we got the energy reading. We are now able to trace the location of the dog." Dave glanced over at the man holding a device the size of a PDA. The man came over and squatted down by Dave's face.
"Thanks, boy. You've played them right into our hands!" Dave glared intensly at the man.
"Area 51 agents," he nearly spat. "You're all so stereotypical. You make a big loop around ironic and land right back into the shit pile of stereotypes."
"Get the red-eyed wonder here to the car. We'll take him in for questioning." With that, the men yanked up on him, causing a tearing sensation in his shoulder, which wasn't a good sign. Then they half dragged, half walked him around the mountain to the base, where a black hummer waited.
This was going to be the worst car ride of his seventeen years of life.