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Alec was sixty when he caught it.
Magnus, sitting in his apothecary, his eyes far away, holding the framed picture he had on his desk of them dancing at their wedding, tears making ugly dark lines down his cheeks. His face was crumpled with a level of devastation that Alec had only seen once before in his life, but still knocked his breath from his chest as he stared at Magnus.
Nevermind that they might still have decades together, or more, Magnus had started to prepare himself. Magnus was now actively preparing to lose him someday, and hiding it from him so he wouldn’t worry. Alec swallowed hard and stepped away from the apothecary, heading to the kitchen, making noise so Magnus would know he was home and have a few seconds to compose himself.
When Magnus strode in moments later, a happy grin on his face and a cheerful call of his name, any sign of sorrow wiped clean, Alec didn’t know what hurt worse. That Magnus was hiding this from him, because there was nothing to be done now, or that…
That he’d had a chance to make a different choice and he’d turned it down. He’d had a chance at forever, to be handed the gift of forever with Magnus and he’d…
Alec kissed Magnus and smiled at him, turning back to the stove, distracting Magnus by asking about his day, watching as he launched happily into a story. He was as mesmerizing and captivating as always, but now he couldn’t help his heart aching as he stared. When Magnus turned to him with a question on his lips, Alec smiled, because he would always smile when Magnus looked to him, but his heart tripped painfully. How long did they have before Magnus had to hide the pain in his eyes every time they looked at each other? Was he already doing it?
~!~
Later, when Magnus was asleep and Alec couldn’t manage it, he slipped out of bed and headed to the balcony, leaning against the railing as he breathed slowly, his fingers digging into the cold stone. The worst part was that everything he’d feared leaving behind as an immortal, he’d already lost as a mortal.
The scar on his hip reminded him that he’d lost Jace a decade after he and Magnus had gotten married. An ambush on patrol, and Jace had single-handedly held the demons off long enough for the others to escape, and even now, the guilt and feeling of Jace slowly fighting to the death threatened to swarm him. Alec breathed slowly, waiting for the pain to fade like it always did. It took longer than he would have liked, but it started to recede.
Isabelle had been next, less than five years ago, and the pain still felt as fresh as ever and Alec fought down a sob at the reminder. An attack on the New York Institute had killed dozens of shadowhunters, and Alec could still remember staring at Isabelle’s name on the report, hardly able to believe it, even though he’d been one of the first people to know.
His Mom had at least been peaceful. Eighty-seven, falling asleep surrounded by those she loved, holding tightly onto Luke’s hand.
Alec wiped at his face frantically, unable to stop the tears. He’d survived their losses, just like he’d been afraid he couldn’t, as an immortal. And here he was, outliving them all, only to die and leave Magnus truly alone. Magnus would have to be strong for Max (and Alec wouldn’t think about how he’d never see Max finish his studies and become a High Warlock in his own right, and maybe find his own happiness and love) and Rafe (who had taken over training Institutes on building relationships with Downworlders and Alec was so fucking proud of him his chest ached with it), and he’d have to bury Rafe alone someday if it came to that and…
Alec choked on another sob, tears running hot and fast down his cheeks. He’d been so selfish, so fucking selfish. He’d been so afraid, and he’d thought they had so much time , but it was really none at all, and he didn’t know that until now, when it was running out. How was he going to leave now? How was he going to make Magnus bury him in a white shroud, standing with Max and Rafe in their suits?
If Alec had thought breaking up with Magnus had shattered his heart, it was nothing compared to the stark reality and future that he was going to leave his family to face. Because he hadn’t been brave enough to make another choice. He was a coward, and he was going to do nothing but leave broken hearts in his wake, the last thing he had wanted to do.
Alec breathed in the chill air until his tears had dried and took a deep breath before heading to the kitchen to get a glass of water, drinking it slowly before heading back to the bedroom. He paused in the doorway and looked at Magnus twisted in golden sheets. Let himself imagine seeing this for decades, centuries and couldn’t help smiling. In what world would he have ever wanted something else?
Alec put the glass of water on the bedside table and crawled back into bed, wrapping his arms around Magnus, smiling when his husband made a quiet, pleased noise, and pressed in closer to him. He kissed Magnus’ forehead and closed his eyes, even as he started to plan.
~!~
It’d been at least four or five months since Alec had last seen Clary, but he found her humming as she sharpened a blade while instructing a young shadowhunter on proper technique to do so and couldn’t help smiling. He waited until he was finished before he approached, greeting her with a tight hug and squeeze before suggesting they grab lunch.
“So, are you going to tell me what this is actually about?” Clary asked, grinning at Alec over her coffee cup. He was clearly agitated and kept looking around like he was expecting someone to come around a corner and interrupt them. “I haven’t seen you this jumpy in decades, Alec.”
Alec took a deep breath and stared Clary down, watching her expression grow abruptly serious. He met her eyes and gave her a faint smile. “I am calling in every single favor that you have ever owed me across your entire life, starting the second you crash-landed into a mission with Jace and I.”
Clary blinked in surprise. “You’re...what? Alec? What are you talking about?”
Alec carefully pulled out an eyeglasses case and opened it, showing a shining gold feather, watching her eyes widen in shock, which meant she knew exactly what it was. Good. He took another deep breath and met her eyes. “I need you to help me summon an angel.”
Clary snapped her mouth shut, and lowered her eyes to the feather. She smiled faintly at it. “This is about Magnus, isn’t it?”
“Magnus, Max, and Rafe,” Alec agreed quietly. “But yes. It’s about Magnus, Clary.”
“Do you know,” Clary started, clearing her throat, blinking her eyes hard. “Jace, Isabelle and I had a bet going.”
Alec’s heart lurched. “A bet?”
Clary nodded, wiping a tear out of her eyes before looking up at him again. “About how long it’d take you to decide you wanted forever with him. None of us… none of us thought it’d take you this long. Especially after you lost Jace.”
Alec flinched and looked down at the feather between them, snapping the case shut, stuffing it into his pocket. He bit down on his lip. “Then you’ll help?”
Clary finished off her coffee and stood up. “Of course I will, Alec. And I’ll do you one better.”
Alec looked at her in confusion, standing up as well. “Meaning?”
“You’ll see,” Clary promised, holding out her hand. “Now come on. Are you ready now?”
“I,” Alec swallowed. “If, if the angel grants me what I ask. I don’t…” he looked to her and saw her eyes soften. “I need to be able to say goodbye, even, even if he doesn’t…”
“Okay,” Clary said gently. “Tomorrow then?”
Alec nodded firmly at her. “Tomorrow.”
“I’ll get everything we need,” Clary promised, reaching out to wrap him in a tight hug. “It’s going to be okay, Alec.”
Alec swallowed and prayed to every angel above that she was right and he was not making the biggest mistake of his life. “I’ll see you tomorrow, Fray.”
~!~
Alec took his time headed back to the loft. Even now that they’d moved back to Brooklyn, to the familiarity of a city that meant more to them than Alicante ever had, Alec found himself missing the bright lights of the demon towers as it started to get dark. He was ready, and all that was left was to spend the night with the person he loved most in the world and pray that after all was said and done tomorrow, he’d have the same.
Once he stepped into the familiar doorway, Alec sagged in relief. Magnus was there, humming softly into the kitchen as he stirred something on the stove. Alec crept up behind him and wrapped his arms around Magnus’ waist, nuzzling into his neck with a hum. “Let’s order takeout. I feel like having you for dinner.”
Magnus laughed in delight and spun around in Alec’s arms, wrapping his arms around those broad shoulders, smiling up at him. “Do you now?”
“Yes,” Alec growled, sucking a mark into Magnus’ throat, listening to him groan. “Been far too long since I made you scream for me.”
“I,” Magnus paused and gasped as Alec kissed down his throat. “Have it on good authority that-”
Alec silenced Magnus with a kiss, leading him back towards the bedroom, only letting their lips part for soft gasps of their names as he tumbled Magnus to the bedsheets. He took his time taking Magnus apart again and again until his husband was slumped in an exhausted and happy puddle on the bed. Alec cuddled up to him, pulling Magnus close, nuzzling into his hair.
“Apparently I need to threaten to cook dinner more often,” Magnus said with a laugh, pressing a kiss to Alexander’s heart.
Alec laughed and shook his head. “Maybe you should and see how that works out for you,” he teased, melting into the kiss Magnus gave him.
“Maybe I will,” Magnus breathed, closing his eyes as he settled in against Alexander. “A quick nap before takeout?”
“Sounds great,” Alec breathed back, relaxing into the warm embrace of Magnus’ arms.
~!~
Normally, nothing could have made Alec give up mornings and breakfast with Magnus in the loft, spending it dancing quietly together before they both drifted off to their respective days, but today, Alec couldn’t make himself do it. He would have confessed everything to Magnus the second he would have asked what was wrong. So he snuck out, sent texts to Max and Rafe reminding them that he loved them and to call Magnus and he later (if there was a later, but he wasn't thinking about that) and made his way to the Institute. With the feather resting heavy in his pocket, he took a portal to Idris and made his way to Lake Lyn, where Clary had ordered him to meet her.
The sun was high in the sky as he approached the shoreline and he blinked in surprise when he saw that Clary was kneeling on the ground, putting the final touches on a spell circle of some sort. Alec’s stomach tensed and he looked around, wondering why she’d drawn that. Was there a warlock that was here? Had they told Magnus?
“Clary?” Alec called, walking closer to her. Now that he could look at the spell circle, he could see that there were two empty spots, clearly meant for someone to stand in. “What’s this?”
Clary blew a piece of her silver hair out of her face and stood up, her hands on her hips. “The way you’re actually going to get what you want.” She pointed down at the circle. “Feather there. You there. It won’t release the angel you summon until you break the circle.”
Alec’s breath caught and he looked at her and then back to the circle. “How...how…”
Clary gave Alec a smile. “I’ve been helping Madzie draw her more complicated spell circles for decades, Alec. When I told her what you were doing, of course she wanted to help.”
Alec blinked hard, clenching his eyes shut and took a shaky breath before looking at her. “Thank you,” he breathed.
Clary stepped closer and hugged Alec, tight before pulling back and offering him a small vial of blood. “Your final ingredient. I gathered it this morning.”
Alec swallowed and closed his hand around the small vial, staring at Clary. “Clary, I…”
“It’s going to be okay, Alec,” Clary repeated, looking to the circle. “Now come on. We don’t have all day. Someone’s going to be missing you soon.”
Alec put the feather down and stepped into the circle meant for him, crouching down and opening the vial, glancing at Clary before back to the feather. “Clary, if I don’t make it.”
“Alec-”
“No,” Alec said, interrupting her. “I need you to tell Magnus what I was trying to do. I need you to tell him and the boys I love them so much. And that…” he swallowed and looked to her, blinking hard. “That I wanted his forever with him.”
Clary blinked through her tears and crossed her arms over her chest. “Tell him yourself,” she ordered, keeping her voice steady as she stepped back from the circle.
Alec turned the vial and poured the blood onto the feather, watching it shine an iridescent white before he stood up, taking a deep breath as the spell circle abruptly flared in color around him. He looked skyward and inhaled slowly.
“Anael!” Alec shouted, his voice booming out across the lake. “I summon you for the fulfillment of the Wish you offered me for the saving of your life! I’ve come to claim my Wish.”
The air around them stilled and Alec swallowed down a shout as the air suddenly filled with presence and weight , his knees threatening to buckle. He grunted and kept himself upright as a flash of light echoed across the lake and the angel was landing on the surface of it, towering over the treeline and where was standing. The spell circle flared and abruptly the angel was standing on the shore in front of him, smaller, but still tall, bright golden cuffs on her wrists.
“I won’t keep you,” Alec said when Anael’s eyes turned to him. “I’ll break the circle as soon as my Wish is granted, I swear to you.”
Anael nodded slowly, tilting her head, staring at him. “It’s been many years since you saved me, Alexander Lightwood. What is the Wish you ask of me, as you refused my first?”
The reminder had him swallowing down a flash of pain and Alec sucked in a breath. “I want the Wish you offered me, Anael. To have forever with my husband, with my family.”
Anael paused and stepped off the surface of the water, approaching the spell circle. “I cannot.”
Alec drew a pained breath the quick answer taking him aback, staring at the angel with wide eyes. “You cannot, or you will not?” he pressed, his heart pounding.
“I cannot,” Anael repeated. “I cannot re-offer a Wish that has been refused, Alexander Lightwood. Ask something else of me.”
Clary watched Alec’s face crumple in pain before it smoothed out and he raised his chin, looking up at the angel. She watched his shoulders straighten, and it was like the last forty years melted off of him. Gone was the image of silver hair, the laugh line wrinkles around his eyes and mouth, the faintest relaxing of his posture over the years. Every inch of him was once again the Alec Lightwood she’d first met, the fiercest warrior she’d ever seen, and the man who would burn the world down if it meant saving Magnus. Alec looked dangerous in a way that she hadn’t seen him look in years.
Alec took a deep breath and closed his eyes. “You’ll blow up the very ground you stand on to make something right.” He exhaled, hard and loud before looking up at the angel once again. Magnus was right. He would, and he was going to do exactly that.
“Then my Wish is to be sent back in time,” Alec said, ignoring Clary’s gasp outside of the spell circle. “I wish to be sent back five minutes before I make my decision, to have the chance to convince myself to make another choice.”
Anael hummed and tilted her head, considering the human in front of her. “There is no guarantee it will result in the future you seek, in the one you have here.”
Alec stared at the angel, his posture ramrod straight. “I know.”
“It could destroy the future you have built, the family and life that you have built with the people here,” Anael warned. “Time is not to be trifled with, Alexander Lightwood.”
Alec remembered what he’d told Consul Penhallow when they had been waiting to sign the New Accords. With his chin held high, determination in every word, he’d informed her that he’d fought this hard, and this long, because he loved one man enough to change the world. With another deep breath he met Anael’s eyes.
“I know,” Alec repeated, his voice soft and certain. “I changed my entire world for him once, and I will do it again to do right by him, as he deserves.”
“It is rare to find such conviction in a human,” Anael mused, staring at him. “There is no uncertainty in you.”
“No,” Alec said simply, thinking of the tears running down Magnus’ face as he stared at their wedding photo. “I will do what needs to be done to do right by my husband.”
“A love like that changes the world, Alec Lightwood. You’ve done much good with your love, with your life,” Anael said, studying him. “But if this is your true Wish, I will grant it for you.”
Alec looked to Clary and met her eyes, offering her a faint smile. He turned back to the angel and met her eyes once again. “It is my Wish, Anael, as repayment for your debt.”
Anael hummed, the sound low and sonorous around the lake. “Very well.” She raised her hand and white light flashed.
Alec stumbled and hit...nothing? He frowned at the sheer white surface he was standing on, without standing. He looked around and swallowed, tensing, praying that he’d made it where he needed to.
“You are in-between, Alec Lightwood. While I move you, I must tell you the rules,” Anael’s voice came from everywhere and nowhere all at once.
“What rules?” Alec asked, frowning.
Anael laughed. “You are traveling through time, to change your future. There are always rules.”
“All right,” Alec said, scowling. “What are they?”
“You cannot mention those you have lost. You cannot mention those you have gained. You cannot give away events that will change the future beyond the decision you hope to alter,” Anael intoned, her voice low and serious. “He will believe who you are, as he is you, but to change his mind, falls to you alone.”
Alec closed his eyes and breathed in slow and deep. He could do this. He could do this. He’d have to tweak his original plan a little bit, but he could still do this. He nodded. “Very well. I accept those terms.”
A resounding bang sounded and Alec managed to cover his ears before he was stumbling into a familiar forest, standing in front of himself, thirty years younger, eyes wide and shocked. He breathed and looked over his shoulder. Anael was safe and staring at them with knowing eyes. He spun back to Alec and cleared his throat. He didn’t have much time.
“You’re me,” His past self said, matter of fact.
Alec wanted to laugh, because sometimes he missed being that blunt. He nodded. “Yeah. You in thirty years, to be precise. I’m here to talk to you.” He watched a wary expression come over his past self and took a step closer. “You’re about to be offered a choice. I’m here to tell you that you made the wrong one.”
Past Alec’s eyes went wide and Alec stuffed his hands into his pockets. “Anael has offered you a boon for saving her life. Forever with Magnus.” He watched his past self freeze, fear flooding his eyes. Alec forced himself to continue. “You could choose to decline, and instead, she offered you a Wish to use as you like, right?”
“I,” Past Alec looked to Anael and then to the gray-haired version of himself. “I’m not happy? With the choice I make?”
Alec swallowed and moved closer until he was standing directly in front of himself, mirroring his posture. “You are happy. You are the happiest you've ever been. You fall more in love with Magnus every single day. It’s everything you ever wanted.”
Past Alec started to relax. “That, that doesn’t sound too bad.”
“It isn’t,” Alec said, a sad smile curling on his lips. “But yesterday morning, I walked into Magnus’ apothecary to find him looking at the wedding dance picture he keeps on his desk. He was sobbing.” He watched his past self flinch like he’d been hit. “It’s been almost forty years, Alec. You know what he’s preparing for.”
“You,” Past Alec cleared his throat, studying his future self. “You don’t look like you’re about to keel over any time soon.”
Alec laughed. “I’d like to think I have at least another couple decades in me. But Alec,” he met his younger self’s eyes and smiled sadly. “It’s not enough. And it took me this long to see that. It’s not enough time with him. It’s never going to be enough time with him.”
“But…” Past Alec whispered.
Alec shook his head, smiling sadly. “I can’t tell you anything. But I can tell you that forty, fifty, sixty, one hundred years, are not going to be enough time to spend with him. I can tell you now that I’ve seen what my loss is going to cost him…” A gong sounded and his eyes widened, stepping in closer to his past self, lowering his voice, deadly serious. “I will blow up the very ground I stand on to make this right,” he managed, watching his past self’s eyes go wide before the world went blurry and Alec was back, standing on the shores of Lake Lyn, on his knees in the spell circle.
“Your Wish has been granted,” Anael said, her voice calm. “Release me, as you promised, Alexander Lightwood.”
Alec reached out and smeared Clary’s beautiful handiwork, breaking the seal. With a last concussive sound across the lake, the angel was gone, the feather in front of him gone as well. He hung his head and rested on his knees, his entire body aching.
“Alec,” Clary asked, stepping closer. Alec’s expression was stone and closed off. “Did…”
“I don’t know,” Alec said, pushing himself to his feet with a grunt. Exhaustion clung to every single muscle in his body and he looked to her. “Can, can you summon me a portal home? I just… I need to see Magnus.”
“Of course, Alec,” she said. Clary’s smile was sad and she pulled out her stele, drawing the rune with ease before she turned with him. “When will you know-”
“I don’t know,” Alec repeated, almost choking on the words. “Maybe I’ll never know, after all, it’s a closed time loop, right? How would I know?”
Clary was quiet as he approached the portal. “I’m sorry, Alec.”
Alec paused outside the portal. “Not as sorry as I am,” he whispered, stepping through it and into the familiar space of the loft. His heart and his body ached and all he wanted was to hold Magnus and not move for as long as they could both stand. It hadn’t been enough. He’d been too afraid, too scared to make the right choice.
“Alec!” Magnus said, his voice panicked, rushing out of his apothecary. “Where the hell have you been, I just got a call from…” his voice trailed off at the sight of Alec’s slumped shoulders and the exhaustion clear in every inch of him. He looked every single one of his sixty years. “Alexander?”
Alec took a deep breath. He forced a smile to his face. Was another twenty years or more really the worst fate to be sentenced to? He could have lost Magnus forever, and instead he still had this. He had his husband, his family, and it was enough. It would always be enough.
“Alexander?” Magnus whispered, his voice cautious. “Are you all right?”
Alec looked up at Magnus, meeting his cat eyes that were wide with worry and fear. He took a step towards Magnus, and in that instant, the world around them shattered, falling away like pieces of a broken mirror. The last thing Alec saw was Magnus shouting his name before the world went black.
Alec sat up in bed, his chest heaving. The other half of the bed was empty and his heart was still pounding. He threw golden sheets off of him and did a brief survey of Magnus’ bedroom. Everything looked normal, but, where was Magnus? He grabbed his sweatpants, yanking them on quickly. “Magnus!” he shouted.
He thought he heard a clatter in the loft, but he couldn’t be sure. He grabbed his seraph dagger and tensed himself, ready for whatever he was about to see, because for all he knew, he could be sharing the loft with, with, anyone, fuck where was Magnus, was he-
“Alexander!” Magnus shouted, skidding into the doorway of the bedroom, his silk robe billowing around him, his eyes wide, magic gathered around his fingertips. “Alec, what’s wrong, what’s happening?”
“Magnus,” Alec breathed, dropping the dagger, yanking Magnus into his arms, hugging him close, burying his nose in Magnus’ neck, holding onto him as tightly as he could. He couldn’t get the image of Magnus shattering to pieces out of his mind and he clung to Magnus, trying to press closer to him. “Fuck,” he breathed, his chest heaving.
Magnus held onto Alec, combing his fingers through his hair gently. “Nightmare?” he asked.
Alec wanted to laugh, because it was the furthest thing from a nightmare. He pulled back to look at Magnus, but his eyes were caught on the bureau mirror and the image of them both. He straightened and pulled out of Magnus’ arms.
“Alec,” Magnus frowned, huffing, reaching out for him. “Get back here.”
Alec stepped away from Magnus’ hand and stared at his reflection in the mirror, his eyes wide with shock. In the mirror, it was his face. Exactly as it had been at thirty. The laugh lines around his eyes there, but not as deep. The body of a shadowhunter who trained with his parabatai on a weekly basis, because, because Jace was still alive .
Alec crashed to his hands and knees, staring at the floor as he sucked in frantic gulps of air, memories swarming over him in a tidal wave. Max, Rafe, their precious family, the same as it always had been. His boys growing up, different and yet same conversations about immortality, about family and choices and Magnus holding his hand through all of it.
A sob escaped him and he clenched his eyes shut as more and more memories flooded through his mind. Clary and Izzy, their happiness, their wedding, their children, and now grandchildren. Jace and Simon, working together for years, Simon saving Jace from the fight that had killed him in that other world and then they had suddenly been more, and then more serious conversations. Jace, Jace making the choice to stay, to stay with Simon, with him, and Alec’s happiness at having his brother, his best friend, his parabatai with him. His mother, happy and healthy, still running her bookshop, complaining about the New York weather to Luke and how they needed to move somewhere tropical before next year.
When the surge of memories finally started to recede, Alec blinked back into awareness to realize that Magnus had very carefully pulled him close and was threading his fingers through his hair, calling his name in fear and worry. Alec blinked up at him again, the golden cat eyes staring down at him and smiled, before reaching up to cup Magnus’ cheek.
“Alexander, darling, don’t scare me like that,” Magnus breathed, taking Alec’s palm, pressing his lips to it. “I don’t know what I would do without you, love.”
Alec wanted to laugh. “It worked,” he breathed, turning to press his face to Magnus’ thigh, unable to believe it, even as he continued to ride the wave of memories rushing through his mind. “I can’t believe it worked…”
“What worked?” Magnus asked, blinking down at Alec. His eyes were still glassy and far away. He sent another pulse of magic into Alexander and frowned when he could feel the foreign touch of another magic lingering in him.
“I don’t know,” Alec laughed, the sound carefree and joyful. “If I can even begin to explain, Magnus.” He pushed himself to his feet, dragging Magnus up after him, and the motion was easier than it had been in...in a long time. He wanted to run, sprint, push his body to the limits he hadn’t been able to in years now.
“Alexander,” Magnus said, forcing himself to take a deep breath. “You need to tell me what is going, because first you shout my name like you’re being attacked and then you nearly collapse-”
Alec picked Magnus up by the waist, lifting him easily, and spun him around in circles, grinning widely before he pulled Magnus close, kissing him long, slow and deep. His husband melted against him and Alec lost himself in the slow glide of their lips and tongues, kissing Magnus until they had to break apart for air.
Magnus was still worried, Alec could feel it, but all that mattered was the fact that they were together, they were okay, and they had forever. He could feel even that, now, the blessing from the angel, singing in his veins, the gift that Anael had known he needed before knew it himself. He opened his eyes and looked at Magnus, reaching out to touch his cheek gently, reverently.
Magnus exhaled and pressed in closer to Alexander, glad that he at least appeared to be okay by all counts. “Alec. Tell me what is going on, or I’m going to drag you to Catarina.”
Alec leaned in and pressed a soft kiss to Magnus’ forehead, breathing out slowly. “In another life, Magnus. I didn’t choose immortality as my gift from the angel,” he whispered. He felt Magnus tense in his arms and wrapped his own around Magnus’ waist, keeping him close. “I was scared you didn’t want me forever, and I thought if I had a Wish from an angel, I could use it to keep you safe.”
“Alexander,” Magnus breathed. “What are you-”
“Shh,” Alec interrupted. “In that world, we’re happy. In love. We have Max and Rafe. But I’m aging.” Magnus winced and started to pull away, but Alec held onto him, forcing Magnus to meet his eyes again. “I’m sixty when I catch you…” he swallowed and stared at Magnus. “Crying over the photo you keep of us in your apothecary.”
Magnus sucked in a hard breath. “Alec…”
“No, no, listen,” Alec insisted, staring at Magnus with wide eyes. “I tried to use the Wish to get the angel to make me immortal, so I could stay with you. Like she originally offered.”
Magnus blinked hard, staring up at Alec. “You did?”
Alec pressed their foreheads together and smiled. “Of course I did, Magnus.” He paused, breathing through the memories, sorting them in his head, before continuing. “But she wouldn’t do that. Said she couldn’t offer me the same Wish when I’d turned it down the first time.”
“What did you do?” Magnus asked, swallowing down the sense of fear. Alec didn’t look scared or worried, so things had to still be okay, right?
“What I do best,” Alec said with a laugh. “I burned down the whole world to make it right. I had the angel send me back in time. To when I saved the angel. I, I convinced me, the me I am now, to make a different choice.” He paused and looked at Magnus, kissing him again, soft and gentle. “To do what he, uh, I had been afraid to, in his timeline. Forever with you.”
“Do-” Magnus bit down on his lip, shaking his head. It didn’t matter. Alexander was here, with him, and happy, and that was all that mattered.
Alec smiled and shook his head. “No. I don’t regret it. For a single second. I made things right.” He pulled Magnus in for a gentle kiss, humming against his lips. “We had forty years together Magnus. We were happy. But he realized that no matter how many years he had, that wasn’t going to be enough time with you. That’s what he came to tell me.”
Magnus’ eyes blurred and he tightened his fingers on Alec’s hips, shifting to press his face to Alec’s neck, breathing out shakily against his skin. “And that was enough?”
Alec reached out and tipped Magnus’ head back, pressing their foreheads together, exhaling against Magnus lips with a grin. “Of course it was, Magnus.” Golden eyes blinked open at him and Alec stared right back. “Of course it was,” he repeated, kissing Magnus again, slow and gentle and deep. “I love you, Magnus. I’m always going to love you.”
Magnus pulled back to look at his shadowhunter, his husband, and pulled him in for another kiss, grinning against his lips. “You really travelled through time to make sure we spent forever together?” he whispered.
“I did,” Alec promised. “Want me to show you?”
“Later,” Magnus breathed, pulling Alec in for another kiss, his heart aching with how much he loved this incredible man. “ Much later.”