Chapter Text
Renee needed a miracle, or at least, something more reliable than her havoc rifle. Bangalore had been the only member on her team with a sniper rifle and once she'd been downed the rest of the fight had gone haywire.
She risked a glance at Lifeline who was crouching for cover with D.O.C slowly healing her. Renee barely had time to shout a warning before she saw Pathfinder's grapple, followed by the blue figure with a peacekeeper in his happy hands. It took him only a moment to finish off Renee's last squadmate.
Three squads left and the odds for Renee were only getting slimmer and slimmer. She had a portal set, could take it down to the low ground and try to take measly cover. Thought it wouldn't take long for someone to pick her off in the open terrain.
Pathfinder chose for her when swapped his peacekeeper for a spitfire and angled her way. Renee ducked back into the portal by reflex, already planning her next move when the cold of the void snaked into her skin, forcing her hairs to stand on end.
She was used to the cold void of the portal, the feeling of flashing through the steps that she had carved through the realm of midnight and nothing. Now, she was stuck falling through unfamiliar paths.
She thought she could feel her back cracking through icy spiderwebs as she crashed through the void. The thin threads coating her in layers of permafrost.
Her eyes fought to roll around her skull, searching for a chance, an escape, a path, unfamiliar or not she'd take it.
Her fingers fumbled for the webs around her like rope, chasing them somewhere, feeling their fragility collapse under her weight. Pathways that didn't belong to her, that couldn't support her. Too wrong but when had Renee ever been given a solution that she didn't have to fight for?
This time when she flung out her hand she tugged at the void, demanded it with the very thin claim of mastery she had over it to bend to her. The void answered back, sending a shocking feeling of something grasping back at her, tugging her towards a chance.
Renee threaded her fingers through the shocking grasp, she forced her eyes to face the storm around her in cold of the void. And in that unravelling of power, she thought she saw a reflection of herself.
The void made a snapping sound and ripped open and Renee fell through the portal beneath her.
The humid air of the lava dome was a warm relief from the frostbite of the void that quickly fled her skin.
However, her relief was short-lived when she rolled onto her back and came face to the semi-circle of Caustic's traps surrounding her.
Renee let out a groan and let her head drop back onto the ground. She would have had a better shot against Pathfinder.
You're in the wrong place, a voice echoed unhelpfully in her head. No shit.
She was almost about the start getting impatient for the gas to activate and just get it over with, when a booming announcement played throughout the arena, "you are Apex Champions."
Fuck, was all Renee could think. Had the others died outside the ring? How long had she been stuck in the void for? Maybe, she had been gone long enough that she had been registered as dead and they had called the game.
"Victory was not easy to attain," Caustic noted and Renee glanced left where she now noticed that he had been standing a few feet away. "Though with the skill of our team, it was inevitable."
"Hooray for your team then," Renee said gruffly. She didn't know how she found the strength but she pulled herself up into a seated position. "There was a problem with the respawn beacon it looks like, there was no one left to get me up."
That was the only reasoning that she could guess was why she was alive. She must have bled out at one point, dreamed of the void and after Caustic's squad had won she must have been accidentally respawned by a glitch.
Caustic turned to face her, with the gas mask on his face it was difficult to tell but she thought he might have been frowning. "When were you downed?" He asked.
"Squad got downed all at once," she shrugged, "didn't stand much of a chance."
"Whose squad?" Caustic pressed.
Renee was fairly certain that a scientist should be smarter than this but she spoke slowly and forced herself not to roll her eyes, "My squad, Bangalore, Lifeline, and I."
Caustic was silent, which Renee took as a notion of acceptance, maybe his curiosity was sated now, she never knew how to deal with Caustic. She let her eyes rest on the horizon as a figure from the hill began to trot down. Likely another member of Caustic's squad, though she couldn't bring herself to remember who had been on his squad.
A shuffle of boots in the dirt had her focus placed back onto Caustic when he reached her side and said, "you alright kid?"
Renee didn't know what to take from that tone, her first reaction was that it might be a concern. Though she had never heard Caustic use that tone of voice without the intention to mock someone.
She saw his hand reach out and flinched back. She had forgotten her havoc by her side and she was very aware of the gas traps around her. She couldn't help thinking if this was Caustic's code and that he wouldn't care about the respawn error and wouldn't consider himself victorious until she was definitively downed.
Whatever she expected, it wasn't the reality before her. Caustic let his hand stay motionless, outstretched, and it took her a moment too long for her to realise that he expected her to grasp his hand.
"Renee?" He asked and it only took that one word for the cold of the void to slink back into her skin.
With a snarl, she smacked his hand out of her view and forced her body to obey and staggered upwards from the ground. She knew that some people would know her name in the games. Crypto for one, though she had already threatened the hacker about letting any details of her life loose. She had given her name to Elliott by her choice, and Pathfinder almost by accident. But that had been it. She defined her limits.
"Fuck off," she bit out, "I don't need your fucking help."
Caustic shouldn't know her name. If Caustic knew her name then what else did he know? What other steps did she need to take to protect herself again? Because by now Renee had learned that there was always an again for her.
She was tempted to reach for her havoc, though she wasn't exactly sure if it would set off the gas traps. She didn't need a vicious death right now that she had seen and experienced before.
You're in the wrong place, the voices responded more urgently and equally more unhelpfully.
"Did the rest of my squad respawn?" Renee demanded. She wanted to see anyone other than Caustic right now, she could deal with her identity later. She wanted Bangalore's certain authority and Lifeline's ease and gentle comfort.
Caustic's hand moved again like he was going to offer his hand but paused when she took a step back. Good choice, given that she was now clutching the kunai that had been strapped to her belt.
"Re-Wraith I am your teammate," he said with certainty. "Bangalore, Lifeline, and Pathfinder were downed at the beginning of the match by us. "
Her eyes went blank as she tried to tune into the voices, she was met with only silence before an intruding voice urged her again, you're in the wrong place.
Renee didn't deign to respond. She lifted the console attached to her wrist to view the map. There she expected to see an absence of other squad members but instead, there were two other makers near hers, one the same direction where Caustic stood and the other moving towards them. The second marker which she noticed was now very close.
Renee only had a moment to turn around before someone collided with her.
The first thing Renee felt was a press of lips against her cheek, the first thing Wattson felt was two hands shoving her back, almost enough to throw her off balance.
Then Renee saw who it was, her hood pulled down so that her hair bounced in the humid air, strands sticking to her forehead. The golden hair fell just below her shoulders, longer than Renee remembered it being when she had seen Wattson in the communal living spaces. And she instantly regretted shoving her away.
When Renee saw Wattson's hurt reaction she fought to keep her flinch internal. But Wattson quickly recovered, looking more embarrassed than uncomfortable now.
"Sorry! Sorry! I just got so wrapped up in our victory," Wattson said while she fussed over Renee and brushed the debris off of her suit. She continued rambling until she reached her shoulders and paused, "you didn't lose your scarf did you?"
Renee's hand instantly reached for the signature black fabric around her neck and was relieved to find it intact. She frowned, "I still have it."
"No, no, the knitted grey one you made last week," Wattson said as if that would make sense to Renee.
"I don't knit, " Renee snapped and she couldn't keep her tone from sounding offended.
Whenever Wattson was there it had been impossible for Renee not to notice how she occupied the space and filled it with warmth. Her hands were always moving, turning over each other and tracing symbols onto kitchen countertops like she was always planning and thinking of her projects.
It was a sense of personality and warmth that made it hard for Wraith to stay close, and easy to watch from afar.
But now all of that electric movement was flushed from her system as Wattson stood staring forward at Renee, her eyebrows knitted together like she was working out an especially difficult puzzle.
"It would seem that Renee is struggling with some memory issues," Caustic told Wattson.
The way he acted like he was speaking around her only served to piss her off, "I'm fucking fine."
"What's the date then," he challenged her.
For a moment she felt herself go off-kilter and took a moment to answer and felt gratified when Caustic responded with a short nod that let her know that she had answered correctly.
She heard Wattson urge Caustic, "memory problems? What problems?"
You're in the wrong place, the voices whispered.
"She thought she was on a team with Bangalore and Lifeline," he answered, "I don't think she recognised me either."
Renee took a step back for a second, "listen I-"
"She did not recognise you?" Wattson interrupted and pressed her gaze back onto Renee. "But you recognise me? Or do you know where you are and who you are?"
That desperation in Wattson's voice felt like needles sticking into her skin.
You're in the wrong place, a single voice this time, clearer than the others.
She thought of the portal, losing her path and searching for anything or anyone to hold onto, and she had gripped that spark in the dark and wrestled it until she was free. Until she was here.
"Fuck," Renee mouthed, "I'm in the wrong fucking place."
Wattson and Caustic just stared at her, unsure whether to press her at the moment or wait.
Renee took a second to breathe, she could hear the dropship approaching in the distance to retrieve them. She didn't have the time to breathe and think.
"I took a portal during a fight," Wraith told them steadily, "Something went wrong I think, ended up here instead of my world, my reality." She thought of the reflection of herself that she had seen when falling through the void. "Your Wraith and I must have somehow…Exchanged places while we were in the void, I arrived in her reality, here."
"And assumingly she arrived in your reality instead," Caustic mused.
Renee gave a short nod, her eyes falling back to Wattson. The electrical engineer's hands were hugging her waist, her motionless actions had taken on a deadly stillness while she watched Renee.
Caustic was looking towards Wattson as if waiting for her to say something first. When the silence stretched for too long Caustic continued, "are you able to create a similar portal?"
Renee checked her console again as an excuse to look away from the two. She kept her gaze locked on the marker of the approaching dropship when she said, "I don't have enough energy to create another portal right now." She flicked her eyes up and noticed how Wattson's expression began to turn more fearful and quickly added, "but later I could attempt it."
"And her voice?" Wattson said quietly. "Are you able to hear her out there?"
Renee paused, in her reality, she preferred to keep the details of her abilities hidden. She didn't people getting too curious or worse, too close.
But this, Renee considered, was not her reality.
Her eyes melted into a milky shade and tried to focus, the voices were quieter when she was out of danger, but she had never tried searching for specific alternates of herself. After a moment of searching and the disappoint weighing in of finding nothing to appease Wattson with she stopped listening.
"It's hard to search for specific things," Renee settled on saying, "she was speaking earlier I think…She said she was in the wrong place."
Wattson sighed in relief and her arms dropped back to her sides, "so she knows then, that's - that's good for now. Is there a chance she could speak to you again then?
"Maybe," Renee winced when she realised what state her alternate self must have emerged from. "She's likely being respawned now, my squad was already down and I was about to be picked off too. She probably took the portal expecting your cover on the other side."
The second she said those words she regretted it. Wattson's sense of ease, of movement returning to her stiff form once again melted away. Renee wanted to smack her head against the ground, the last thing she wanted was to make Wattson feel guilty.
"I-" Wattson's boots unearthed the volcanic ash while her eyes stayed away from Renee, "I should have-"
Renee was almost grateful for Caustic's presence when he interrupted with a grunt and a hand pointing across from them. Her gaze followed his vision to the dropship which had landed nearby.
"The problem can be solved later," he affirmed, "as for now.."
Wattson hastily nodded, "later yes, we'll fix everything later."
The engineer's shaking hand reached out to her. Renee only stared at the girl for a moment, she couldn't help but wonder what Wattson was seeing before her. An imposter maybe? A stranger that couldn't replace the teammate that she had worked alongside in this reality?
More likely, she saw her only possible chance, something that was a solution to a problem. And Renee thought that she didn't mind being that something, as long as it was something to Wattson. With that thought in mind, she accepted Wattson's gloved hand.
-
The similarities of the setting before her almost made it harder to stay aware. The map of the arena is the same, the style of clothing that Wattson and Caustic wear, the interior of the dropship, and the voice of the pilot.
Renee is seated between Wattson and Caustic, even the way that the dropship seats are too close and too small are exact to her memory. Caustic seems to be messing with one of his gas traps, Renee notes that it looks different from his regular traps. Whether it was a sign of the difference between their realities or a modification that she had never paid close attention to in her world she can't tell.
Wattson at least had been invigorated once again it seemed. She was using a cloth and her canteen of water to dab at the blood on Wraith's face. Initially, Renee had batted away at her hand but when Wattson had asked with a soft voice if she could take care of her, Renee had felt her resolve crumble.
The engineer dabbed softly at the blood until it separated from her skin, whenever Renee felt uncomfortable with something Wattson was doing, she was surprised that Wattson already had begun to move onto something else. Wattson seemed to realise the lines to press and the lines to not cross when working with her.
Renee's hands felt heavy and awkward in her lap, she supposes that she shouldn't be surprised by Wattson's tenderness. Out of the many legends that Renee had been partnered with she hadn't expected any of them to be so sweet.
There were certainly kind legends, Mirage was one of them for all his bluster but kindness was different from the tenderness that Wattson possessed. The way she revived someone with the electricity that she flooded through their system and tempered it with warmth. Even then Renee hesitated to describe her as cute. Cute rarely described someone she had seen down two squads with a p2020 and fuck if that wasn't just as hot.
When Wattson paused and stared at her it took Renee a moment of blinking to realise that she hadn't been listening to anything she's been saying.
"Huh? She murmured. Renee was not sure where to look, the other girl was so close to her face that she felt uncomfortable making any eye contact.
Renee's voice felt dull in her mouth and she ridiculed herself internally for acting like a fool. Still, Wattson surprised her by giving her a welcoming smile and repeated, "I was wondering if you knit?"
"I…I don't knit." Renee responded sluggishly, "Does…she knit here?"
"You only started about two months ago," she answered. Renee mourned the loss of her hand cleaning the grime and blood from her face but forced herself to remain concentrated. "You made a lot of mistakes but you finally ended up with a scarf made of five different types of yarn and all these different shades of grey that didn't match. But I convinced you to wear it into the arena today because I could tell you were proud of it."
Renee didn't miss that Wattson said 'you' as if they were the same person. It was something small that she shouldn't fixate on but she couldn't help but consider what it meant.
Wattson tucked the dirty cloth into her pocket and continued, "don't worry, every legend still thinks that you're just as terrifying as always. Even though you knit in the community lounge rooms sometimes."
"Really?" She raised an eyebrow and tried to imagine herself as a grandmother knitting away.
"Well…You had to threaten to stab Octane first with your knitting needles but it worked," Wattson added with a slightly smug tone.
At least, Renee had something in common with her alternate. She didn't know enough of this reality though it seemed similar enough. They were both Wraith, an Apex Legend and strong competitor, that was all she had needed to be comfortable in herself.
Although here others were different. Wattson seemed similar to how she knew her, however, they seemed to be closer friends here. It reminded her of the comfort that she sometimes felt around Pathfinder or Mirage. Like she didn't have to think about herself and she didn't have to worry about looking over her shoulder.
So when Wattson looked at her like that, like she had the same expectations that Renee would be watching her back, it was easy to envy her alternate self.
Wattson seemed eager enough to fill the silence because she continued, "And am I very different where you're from?"
Renee tried to think, they seemed similar enough. "You're hair…Is longer here," she eventually settled on awkwardly.
The engineer gave a short laugh before she rambled, "well I wanted to grow my hair out a little bit for the wedding but I've been meaning to cut it since the games have been on again but it just keeps slipping my mind."
"Wedding?" Renee immediately thought of Gibraltar and his boyfriend. Maybe they were married in this reality.
Wattson only blinked and even Renee sensed Caustic go still in his seat.
"Our wedding," she amended nervously, "we're…In your reality are we not…"
Renee only stared forward, "in this reality you and your Wraith are married," she said it out loud as if it would somehow help her come to terms with this.
"You-You are not married with my…My other self in your reality?" Wattson asked with trepidation.
"Why would we be?" Renee said and instantly flinched at her answer.
She saved herself from having to see Wattson's reaction and pressed her gaze into her lap where those heavy, useless hands of hers laid.
"Ah," Wattson said and her voice sounded distant and impossibly quiet. "Of course."
The rest of the dropship ride was contained to silence.