Chapter Text
Alfred finishes bandaging the last of Jason’s minor wounds, all incurred during the brief but vicious fight with those shitstains who managed to trick him. The old man pauses afterward, gazing down at him and resting a warm, gentle hand on his forehead for a brief moment.
“Rest now, Master Jason. I will return to check on you later.” A single speaking eyebrow is all he needs to communicate that he expects Jason to stay in the medbay until he gets back, or risk facing Alfred’s wrath.
“Sounds good, Alfie.” Jason heaves a shuddering sigh, sinking back on the med cot and feeling every inch of his exhausted, sore body. It’s been a hell of a night.
“Hey there,” Tim whispers, slipping out of his own med cot to pad over to Jason’s. His bare feet must be freezing on the rough stone floor.
“Get up here,” Jason says roughly. He reaches out to tug the other man onto his cot beside him. It’s a tight squeeze, but they’re friendly enough with each other these days to make it work.
Remembering their heated makeout session the other night, he flushes. He still hasn’t told Tim that was his first kiss. Then again, he was so damn awkward the whole time, Tim probably managed to figure that out.
Whatever. It’s not like he ever had much time for romance, between dying as an inexperienced, shy teenager and coming back as a raging, homicidal bastard. Talia made a move once a few years back, but he told her frankly it would weird him the fuck out to bone someone who used to screw his father-figure. His life is already fucked up enough—no need to make it even worse.
So, those gentle kisses the other night, igniting a slow, molten heat low in his belly and an embarrassing tightness in his pants, were his first experience with physical intimacy.
He really fucking liked it.
Jason’s heart flutters as Tim cuddles right up to him, placing a hand palm-down on his chest. The heat of it seems to sear right through his thin shirt. “I’m sorry I didn’t get there faster. I came as soon as the monitor picked up on your distress, but…” Tim breaks off, biting his lip and hiding his face in Jason’s shoulder.
Jason snorts. “Do I even wanna know what monitor you’re talking about?”
Tim shrugs, looking guilty. “Probably not? I’m sorry—I just like to keep track of people I care about.”
Well, at least he’s admitting he has a problem. Also, it’s hard to be mad at someone who just princess-carried Jason from his fiery doom. He smiles, lifting a bandaged hand to run his fingers through the loose waves of Tim’s hair. “It’s fine. But from now on, whatever you have on me, I get on you. Deal?”
“Oh,” Tim breathes, eyes wide. It’s like he never expected anyone to reciprocate the worry and protectiveness he clearly feels towards the people he cares about. He looks up with a shy smile. “Okay.”
He’s so fucking cute. Jason really wants to kiss him right now. He’s been wanting to ever since the moment he showed up, just as the fucking bomb was ticking down the final seconds. When the wall crashed in, he’d been confused for a second, thinking the bomb had somehow gone off early. Then he looked up and saw Superboy dropping Red Robin to land at his side.
Then he saw a weird blur, felt a brushing sensation, and suddenly his hands and legs were free, the bindings cut and piled neatly nearby. He didn’t have any time to think after that as Red Robin scooped him up in his arms and took off running, both his meta friends grabbing his elbows to carry them both out of the warehouse before the blast.
He doesn’t remember the next few minutes too clearly—just a faint recollection of soothing words in his ear, Red Robin’s soft, reassuring voice helping him breathe past the panicked tightness in his chest.
A surge of tenderness wells up within him, bringing with it a sweet ache in his core. He can’t help himself, and wouldn’t if he could. Bending his head, Jason presses a soft, searching kiss to Tim’s parted lips.
Tim moans faintly as he returns the kiss, his hands trailing up to Jason’s shoulders and grasping like he just wants to hold on, to know he’s there. He pulls back only far enough to whisper, “I’m so glad you’re okay,” before reclaiming Jason’s lips.
Jason whimpers, then groans, wanting to pull Tim on top of himself to explore a little more thoroughly. That might not be the best idea, though—the others are bound to get back to the Cave sooner or later, and the last thing they need is for everyone to find out they’re dating by walking in on them half-naked and writhing on the med cot together.
He snickers. The looks on their faces would be hilarious.
Tim smiles in response to his laughter, his lips still moving against Jason’s. “What?”
“Just imagining Dickhead and the others walking in on us like this.”
“Oh god,” Tim says, pulling back slightly. He looks almost comically disconcerted. “Yeah, that would be awkward. Maybe we should—” He starts to pull away, probably intending to go back to his own med cot. Yeah, no. That isn’t happening.
Jason leans forward to kiss him again. “Stay. Please?” He doesn’t mean for his hoarse voice to break slightly on the ‘please,’ but it has the intended effect. Tim immediately curls close to him again, kissing his forehead, his cheeks, and his lips, and stroking his hair and side comfortingly. Jason gets a hand on the side of Tim’s face after a minute and holds him tenderly in place for a long, thorough, satisfying kiss that sends waves of heat through him and leaves them both breathless.
Some time later, they’re completely absorbed in each other when a voice hisses from right beside the med cot. “Yeeessss…”
Both of them jump, separating slightly. “What the fuck?” Jason grabs the nearest potential weapons—a water bottle and a spare pillow, as it turns out. Tim twists and moves his body to hover protectively over Jason, apparently completely on instinct. That’s… kind of hot.
They turn to stare at the source of the creepy utterance. Damian is standing right there, his mask off. He’s grinning fiendishly. “My great plan has finally achieved fruition!”
“Oh god, what did you do? Did you poison us?” Tim demands hysterically, not relaxing his defensive stance.
“How could he have poisoned us?” Jason frowns. “We didn’t eat or drink anything, and I doubt he would’ve been brave and dumb enough to put contact poisons on any of the med supplies. I mean, that would risk hurting Alfred, too, and I’m pretty sure the brat doesn’t have any beef with him.”
Tim’s eyes go wide and he glares at Damian, his expression going slightly manic as he replies. “Well, we were kissing. Maybe he got hold of some of the compounds Poison Ivy uses to kill with a kiss—”
“Wait, who’s been poisoned?” Nightwing jogs over, peeling off his mask. He’s a bit singed, but apparently none the worse for his extended patrol.
Damian rolls his eyes, huffing and crossing his arms. “No one, Grayson! That was merely Drake’s ignorant supposition. No, the truth is I have finally succeeded in besting the test you set for me!”
“Test?” Dick says faintly, as Tim and Jason eye each other and shrug. As long as they’re not actively dying of poison, Jason really doesn’t have the energy to give a shit right now. He doubts Tim does either.
Nodding eagerly, Damian says, “Yes! The challenge to solve the puzzle of what lesson all of those infernal fairytales to which you subjected me were intended to impart. I quickly realized you meant for me to connect the parallels between the stories, and our own family history. It did not take me long to recognize that Todd is the Disney princess—his tendency to break into song, fight evil villains, and attract animals to his side were all clear indicators.”
Jason chokes. What the fuck? Tim cackles loudly, then attempts to muffle his laughter with his hands at Dick’s warning look. After a moment, he buries his face in Jason’s chest, apparently unable to keep it in.
Dick is blinking slightly, with the same expression on his face he gets immediately after being sucker-punched. “Oh? Ah… Good job, Dami. Tell me more about the… test.” He sounds just as baffled as the rest of them.
Straightening to his full height and puffing out his chest, the kid nods importantly and then continues. “Of course, I saw that like many of the fairytales, our princess had been cruelly misused and cursed so as to prevent our kingdom—er, family—from being whole. Clearly, this was the situation I was meant to solve, using the lessons imparted by the cultural indoctrination materials—er, fairy tales. The books and movies you showed me.”
Jason’s mouth is hanging open. He blinks, then swallows. This probably isn’t a question he wants an answer to, but… “Uh, so how’d that work out for you?”
Damian beams magnanimously down at him. “I identified your prince and arranged for him to conduct a successful courtship! You have now kissed, and appear to have come to satisfactory terms with one another. No doubt, tonight’s events in addition to the circumstances of your new romantic relationship will result in your coming to visit the Manor far more frequently. Your relationship with Father will slowly mend, and the curse upon our family shall be lifted at long last.”
Holy shit.
“Wow,” Tim says, finally lifting his head from Jason’s chest. His face is red from laughing and he’s grinning, his eyes wet. “That’s… kind of awesome, actually.”
Dick just stares, mouth agape, looking like he has no idea where to even start unpacking any of what Damian just said.
Jason frowns. “Wait, how the fuck did you encourage our courtship or whatever?” That sounds creepy as hell, even for the brat.
Damian shrugs. “I merely allowed you both to notice me watching you several times, encouraging you to seek each other out as allies. Your natural propensity toward one another did the rest. Admittedly, I had not realized how successful my efforts were until just now when I happened upon your consummation attempt. I expected to have to do far more prior to you achieving this stage.”
“Jesus,” Jason whispers, his lips curling in an unwilling smile. An unaccustomed feeling of fondness for the little brat wells up and he shakes his head, grinning. Damian’s unique, that’s for damn sure. “That’s… huh. Uh, good job, I guess.”
“I thought he had a crush on you,” Dick says faintly, still staring into space, looking vaguely traumatized. “All this time…”
“Wait, what?” Jason makes a face. “Gross.” That would’ve been terrifying. He’d actually rather Damian be trying to kill him than have a baby crush on him—good god. Hopefully the brat doesn’t stab Dickie now just for suggesting it.
Fortunately, he misunderstands. “Of course Drake had a crush on Todd!” Damian snorts. “The prince needs to be attracted to the princess in order to woo them appropriately.”
Jason looks from Tim to Dick and back again, just checking to make sure they’re seeing the same thing he is. Damian’s acting like… well, like a kid. It’s cute. Dick is wearing a sappy, delighted grin. Even Tim looks touched.
“You did great, Little D,” Dick says warmly. “You solved it even faster than I expected!” Clearly, he’s decided to encourage the kid’s interest in helping out the family, however wildly misguided his methods.
Damian puffs up with pride, looking ridiculously young, and Dick sends Jason a pleading look. He’s clearly begging him not to disillusion the kid after he clearly worked so hard on the bizarre quest Dick apparently set for him by accident.
“Thanks, kid,” Jason says gruffly, feeling absurdly fond when the brat visibly preens at the praise. He frowns, imagining future interference and stalking. Yeah, best not encourage that. “But stay the fuck outta our love lives from now on.”
“Easily, Todd. I have no desire to observe the further consummation of your relationship. Happily, according to all reliable sources, you are now destined to embark upon a ‘happily-ever-after.’ You should, in theory, cease to prove such an annoyance in the future now that you are suitably distracted by your paramour.” Damian smiles fiendishly. It’s entirely possible that’s just the way his face works.
“What the fuck.”
“Just go with it, Jay. He’s smiling—it isn’t worth disillusioning him.” Tim grins at him, his eyes dancing.
“Fair enough.” Jason narrows his eyes, wishing they didn’t have an audience. Actually, he might know a decent way to get rid of the bystanders. He smirks wickedly. “Wanna kiss again?”
Fortunately, Tim catches on quickly. “Heck yeah, I do!” He’s laughing softly as he leans in for a kiss, which Jason returns with enthusiasm and probably way more loud smacking noises than are strictly necessary.
“Gah! Quickly, Grayson, we must flee the incipient consummation!” Damian grabs a blushing, embarrassed Dick’s hand and begins dragging him away.
“What.” The deep, gravelly voice seems to come out of nowhere. Oh, fuck this. The last thing Jason needs is to deal with B right now. They’re good—better than before, definitely, but he needs a few hours before confronting whatever emotional heart to heart the two of them are clearly headed for after all this.
“Oh, hey Batman,” Dick says, giving him a little wave as he’s dragged bodily past by the tiny but determined boy who has his hand in a death grip.
“B.” Tim pulls back for a moment to nod at Batman before Jason drags him back in, pressing their lips together and wondering how long it will take to get rid of all their unwanted visitors.
“Father.” Damian nods at Batman, then continues his work of dragging Dick away from the unfolding scene.
“Mmmph! Ahhh… mmm- mmmph…” Jason might be overdoing the kissing sounds. He doesn’t give a fuck—he can practically feel the discomfort and awkwardness radiating off of B right now. Why the hell isn’t he leaving yet?
“Oh my god, I can’t believe they’re still kissing in front of Batman.” Dick sounds both awed and horrified. Their escape must have stalled. They’re probably just waiting around to see Batman’s reaction.
“True love’s kiss is truly inspirational,” Damian says, seemingly grudgingly impressed.
“Maybe they just haven’t noticed he’s there.”
“Impossible! His teeth are grinding audibly. Besides, Drake greeted him a moment ago.”
“I’m surprised you can hear anything over the sound of Red Hood and Red Robin making out.” Dick snickers.
A faint sound, as of teeth grinding together, grows slightly louder.
Dick clears his throat. “C’mon, Dami, let’s give them some privacy. You too, big guy. Plenty of time to lecture them later.” He tugs at Batman, who refuses to be budged. Tilting his head, Dick gives the scowling man a cajoling smile. “If we go back to the Bat Computer now, you’ll have more time to update the slideshow of doom to terrorize them with later.”
Batman blinks, clearly considering this idea. “Hn,” he says, his expression lightening considerably. “Yes, clearly it needs to be updated if Red Hood and Red Robin are now engaging in a romantic relationship. There are numerous potential pitfalls of such a liaison. We need to make sure they’re being safe.”
Somehow, he manages to make it sound like a threat.
Jason shivers, then shrugs. Whatever. He and Tim are tough and smart. They’ll be able to figure out how to avoid it. Hell, maybe they’ll recruit Damian to help. The kid’s apparently on their side, after all. He wouldn’t want their new romantic relationship to be ruined because Bruce decided to traumatize them with his nightmarish facts of life slideshow. Also, Jason’s pretty sure Damian is old enough now to get the slideshow treatment himself by now. He’ll probably fight like hell once his self-preservation instincts kick in.
Finally alone, he tugs Tim closer and wraps himself around him with a pleased sigh.
Disney princess. Pfft.
His exhausted body starts to relax, sleep pulling at his tired mind as he lies there in the warmth and comfort of Tim’s arms. It’s awesome. Although… He blinks, focusing with some difficulty on Tim’s face. “Hey, you’re staying down here with me tonight, right?” This won’t be nearly so comfy if Tim hightails it upstairs to sleep in his admittedly much more comfortable bed.
Tim smiles, turning to press a kiss to Jason’s shoulder. “Do you want me to?”
Jason nods.
“As you wish.” Tim snickers, the little shit.
Jason rolls his eyes. Yeah, he’s definitely going to be getting princess jokes for the rest of his natural life. He smiles anyway. There’s a soft look in Tim’s eyes as he looks at him, and that’s worth a hell of a lot more than enduring a little gentle teasing.
As they nestle closer and fall silent, Tim’s breathing going deep and steady, Jason can’t help but feel like this is better than a happily ever after. His life’s always been something of a fucked up mess, but right now…
It’s perfect.