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thoughts of the mind by beanmochiii
Fandoms: 僕のヒーローアカデミア | Boku no Hero Academia | My Hero Academia
11 Aug 2020
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Summary
“He didn’t want to do this.
A note caught his attention.
Aizawa- sensei’s number - xxx.xxx.xxxx
Call for emergenciesDid this count as an emergency?”
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Click here to get spoiled
“Why did you put on a hoodie.”
“It’s a little cold,” He replied cheerfully, but still whispering, he didn’t want to wake anyone.
“But you only put it on as soon as I walked in.” Izuku kept his smile on but didn’t reply. He didn’t know quite why he was trying to keep it secret, he was the one who called Aizawa. Maybe his teacher would let it be. “What happened.”
As if.
“Um.” The question of telling or not telling tore him apart. He didn’t know what to do, and was stuck in the realm of indecision. Aizawa sighed and walked to his desk and sat in Izuku’s All Might rolly chair.
“Sit,” he said, gesturing to the bed. He sat. “Are you hurt?”
Izuku didn’t answer. His chest tightened. Aizawa seemed to take that as a yes.
“Are you hurt on your torso?”
“No” Being able to say he was ok without lying, relaxed the tight feeling in his chest a bit.
“Arms?”
And there it was again. He hated how he couldn’t just tell him what was wrong. It felt like an actual physical shutdown as soon as he tried to open his mouth to say.
“Is it self harm?” He stopped breathing for a few seconds, then reminded himself and sucked in a deep breath.
“Not… not all the way?” Tears built up in his eyes once again.
“Can I see?” Izuku looked at his teacher, analyzing his facial expression. He looked sincere, there was a bit of worry and concern, but mostly calm.
The soft All Might hoodie seemed to whisper words of encouragement and support as he slipped it off quietly.
Aizawa reached forward and took hold of one of his arms gently. He brushed a finger near the torn skin, careful not to hurt him. Izuku held himself back from telling him that it didn’t matter if he got a little sting. He knew the teacher wouldn’t like that. Aizawa began to rub areas of the arm that were unhurt. most likely to ground him in the moment, but the soft circles of movement seemed to sink deep into his skin like molasses, and soothed the thoughts as well as the anxiety.
“Do you want to talk about what’s wrong.” Aizawa’s voice was low, calm, in the moment.
“I don’t know if i can,” Izuku whispered truthfully. The grounding circles being drawn on his arm seemed to help him unlock the restraints keeping him from being himself freely.
“Why not?” Izuku breathed deeply, working hard to push past the mental barriers.
“Because it's hard. To say. It feels impossible to get out.” It was a relief to admit. He didn’t think he could remember telling that to anyone. Aizawa hummed noncommittal.
“What can I do to make it easier?”
“Keep doing that.” It slipped out easily as he gestured to Aizawa’s hands, but after realizing what he said, he looked down ashamedly. “...And, don't expel me?”
“I won't expel you for having issues with mental health, that’s extremely illogical.” That reassured a small part of him that he hadn’t even known was worrying about it, but he hadn't really been talking about that.
“I was a late bloomer, did you know that?” Aizawa shook his head and switched arms. “I was diagnosed quirkless until 15.” Aizawa paused for a bit before continuing to rub circles into his arm. Under all his relaxation, little bubbles of anxiety sizzled, and he knew he’d probably stress over whether he should’ve told him or not the next day.
“That’s impossible. The last recorded quirk manifestation was at 7 years old.” A ghost of a sad smile danced across Izuku’s lips.
“Yeah.” Aizawa looked at him calculatingly, but he didn't say anything further. “You know what happens to the quirkless in society?”
“They get bullied and… much more.” A deep kind of sadness weighed on him, and tears rolled down his cheeks.
“Yeah.” Aizawa rose from the chair and Izuku wiped at his eyes fruitlessly. A hand moved to his back, and he was slowly pulled into a hug. Aizawa’s arms felt like a home he had never found before. He buried his head into the crook of his teacher's neck.
Maybe he’ll be ok.
Notes:
Don’t worry, they talk more after :)
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