Chapter Text
Early morning, day 14 in Abel Township
Five sat uncomfortably on a cot in the tiny clinic, trying to fight the thrumming fatigue begging her to lie down and sleep. Cora flitted around gathering disinfectants and bandages for Five’s injuries, equally eager to return them both to bed.
Now that Five had finally stopped running, she could feel the fear and impact of what she’d been through seep into her mind like a fog. She really could have died out there. It was a miracle she’d only run into a few zoms, or that she hadn’t caught a bullet at the beginning. Five rubbed the antiseptic pad against the scrape on her arm harder, letting the cleansing stinging remind her she was fine, that she was here. In fact, she’d escaped with very few injuries, compared to the glass she’d had to pick out of her side from the helicopter crash.
Two unlikely survivals in two weeks. Five was wondering if that was par for the course in the post-apocalypse when a shuffling sound from the front of the room flung her nerves back on edge. She strained to hear what it was, even though Cora hadn’t seemed to notice.
Someone had dragged a bleary-eyed Maxine out of bed. As she plodded her way through the clinic, Five could hear her lightly complaining to the med tech that had fetched her.
“Look, I know we’re all very concerned about Runner Five, and I would have been too, if I was awake! But really, it was only a few hours. I’m sure with some fluids and rest and she’ll be fine. You are all more than capable…”
Maxine trailed off as Cora, who had been fussing over Five directly in Maxine’s sightline, moved away from the bed to grab a fresh rag. A dark trail of blood ran down Five’s right leg, and there was fresh red on her cheek as well.
Maxine modulated her tune. “Okay, some rest and a couple of stitches and she’ll be alright,” she conceded.
Five pulled the blanket up over her knee as if to hide it from Maxine. “Hi, Doctor Myers,” she said sheepishly, realizing the childishness of her actions, but feeling just a little bit like she had the right. All she really wanted to do was slink off and sleep.
Maxine stifled a sigh and tried to smile brightly at Five. She hadn’t actually been aware the new runner had been missing before she’d gone to bed, not usually being looped into the runners’ comms, but she was glad all had ended well.
“It’s good to see you back, Runner Five. I’ll need to take a look at you, but Cora, you had better fetch a suture pack and some anesthetic gel,” Maxine said.
Cora smugly handed Maxine a cloth-wrapped set of tools she’d set on the table.
Five tucked her knee closer to her chest as Cora pulled the sheet away. “Look, Dr. Myers, I appreciate all the attention, but it had stopped bleeding just fine until we started poking at it. I’m sure it’ll heal by itself.”
“Well, sure,” Maxine said unconcernedly, leaning forward to examine the depth of the cut beneath Five’s knee. “It’ll heal eventually, but there’ll be a decent scar without stitches. And it’s really not a problem to fix, we’ve got plenty of thread. We’re not exactly doing many surgeries these days.” Maxine unwrapped the tools and casually selected a needle.
Five eyed the needle warily, and her anxiety deepened for a couple of reasons. She knew about survivorship bias; there weren’t many surgeries these days because most injuries were too severe for them to do any good. Pushing that morbid thought away, Five thought for a moment.
“Well, at least don’t waste anesthetic on it. Y’all have better things to use it on,” she said at last, settling more firmly into slang in the presence of another American even though she wasn’t southern.
Maxine pursed her lips. “It’s going to hurt without it.”
“Yeah, well, so did falling in a ditch and then running for three hours,” Five said a little irritably. “Go ahead, I probably won’t die.”
Cora’s attempt to arch an eyebrow at Five was interrupted by the sound of the clinic door slamming open. Five jumped so badly she yanked her leg out of Maxine’s grip and had the other foot on the floor before she could stop herself. Maxine spun around as well, looking for the medical emergency, but Rowan was decidedly uninjured as she flung herself across the room and over to the group.
Rowan came to a sudden halt beside Five’s bed as she realized she had no idea what to do now.
Five and Rowan stared at each other, and Cora watched them carefully. Relief and remorse hung on Rowan’s face, but Five’s shoulders were tense with hurt and anger. Silence settled over the group like a wet blanket.
After about five seconds, Maxine cleared her throat to break the awkwardness. “Runner Five, if you would please try to sit still.”
“Sorry,” Five muttered, resetting herself back on the bed and examining the thin sheets with more intensity than strictly necessary.
Cora began wrapping the scrapes on Five’s arms in a single layer of gauze. Rowan seized the opportunity to move around the bed to help hand her supplies, but remembered she’d been holding something else. Rowan thrust a small half-dome of plastic in front of Five’s face.
“You like these, right?” she asked stiffly.
Five’s eyebrows shot up as she registered the offering of diced peaches. “I…yeah, I do,” she answered. “How did you know?”
Maxine took Five’s surprise as an opportunity to swipe a pad with a little numbing gel on her patient’s knee. Five threw her a pseudo-accusatory look.
Rowan shrugged, turning to search for some unrequested piece of medical equipment. “I mean, we eat together, like, all the time. Some of us actually pay attention.”
Five blinked at Rowan’s back, expression softening. “Thanks, Rowan,” she said quietly. “That was really nice of you.”
Cora smiled significantly at Rowan, who shot a warning scowl in return. Unaware of this exchange, Five peeled the film away from the top of the cup of fruit and tipped some of the syrup into her mouth, suddenly realizing how hungry she was. That is, until Maxine took the opportunity to start in with the needle. Five’s grip on the plastic tightened, and she tried very hard to focus on that instead of the uncomfortable sensation thread sliding through skin. She caught a glimpse of the needle and turned to examine something on the far wall.
Maxine finished her work quickly. It was a relatively simple gash and only required a few stitches. Nobody said anything else until after she tied off the knot and pressed the antiseptic pad against her handiwork. Once again, she had to break the silence.
“Runner Five, do you know what you fell on? This laceration’s pretty deep, and I’m worried about infection.”
“It wasn’t a zombie,” Five answered quickly. “It was just, like, an irrigation ditch. I probably hit a stone or something. There was a lot of litter and a few farm tools in there as well, so it could have been one of those, I guess?”
Maxine frowned. “So there’s at least a chance there was rusted metal in there? Even a rusty nail?”
Five nodded reluctantly.
“Tetanus?” Cora asked Maxine, incongruently earnest.
“Might as well,” Maxine replied. “Runner Five, have you gotten a tetanus shot in the last five years?”
“I don’t think so?”
“Alright, we’re going to give you a booster, just in case. I’m this close to just giving them to all runners preemptively, anyway.” Maxine started walking towards the supply room in the back, seizing the opportunity to give the girls some obviously-needed privacy to clear the air.
The three watched her go before glancing at one another. Cora was bursting to say something to ease the tension but didn’t know Five well enough to know what to say. Five had resumed making short work of the fruit Rowan had brought, seeing it as good a stalling mechanism as it was a snack.
“So…what happened?” Rowan eventually asked, kicking at the tile floor with the toe of one sneaker. She never could take the silence.
“Fell into an irrigation ditch,” Five answered neutrally. The pair was stepping around the thin ice beneath them.
“…You fell in a ditch, and that’s why you were missing outside the walls for half the night?” Rowan asked cautiously.
“No! I mean yes, sort of. The ditch was how I hurt my knee. But first I got shot at, which kind of started the whole thing.” Again Five stopped as if that was an adequate explanation.
“You WHAT?!” Rowan and Cora exclaimed in chorus.
“…New Canton started shooting at me?”
“You can’t just SAY things, Five!” Cora yelled.
“Yeah, back up! Whole story, now,” Rowan demanded, loudly dragging a chair over to sit beside the bed, friction temporarily forgotten.
A corner of Five’s mouth quirked up sheepishly. “Yeah, sorry, sorry. Okay, so I was supposed to be on a normal supply mission, my first solo one, only it turned out that I was actually headed near New Canton.”
“Why were you anywhere near those jerkwads?” Rowan scowled.
“Really wish I could tell ya, but…I wasn’t exactly given the details ahead of time, if you know what I mean. So studied the wrong maps, right, because someone told me I was going somewhere else. By the time I’m close to New Canton, I’m totally reliant on Sam for directions…”
Rowan was riveted, while Cora looked faintly horrified. Both reactions only seemed to egg Five on, and she moved from a matter-of-fact debrief to full storytelling mode, detailing the closeness of the gunfire at New Canton with the kind of swagger reserved for events long over. Five’s emphatic hand gestures also served to achieve her secondary goal of stalling Cora’s fidgety attempt to hook Five up to half a bag of saline. Cora gave up when Five pointedly grabbed the water bottle next to the bed, although she did use it as a prop before taking a swig.
But after retelling her daring escape from heavy artillery and the plunge that left her headset and hopes shattered, Five’s tone grew more somber and her gaze more distant. Even an audience couldn’t tear Five’s mind away from the still-fresh dread of being lost in the dark.
“So, uh.” Five began to trail off after detailing the trio of zombies at the creek. “If Sam hadn’t kept talking over the comms, I’d probably still be in the forest, looking for the beacon.”
“Hence the speech at the radio tower,” Cora said, trying to lift the mood a little.
“…That may have been a bit dramatic,” Five muttered.
“Well, I’m sure Sam appreciated it. It must have been a long night for him, what with directing the search party as well,” Cora said leadingly, sticking a small bandaid to the cut on Five’s cheek.
“…The what?” Five asked slowly.
Rowan wouldn’t meet anyone’s gaze.
“When you didn’t come back, Rowan volunteered to go out looking for you. And,” here Cora gave Rowan a sour look, “apparently had to be dragged back in after it got too dark.”
Rowan glared at Cora, but Five was staring wide-eyed at the two of them, a look of distress creeping over her face.
“You went out looking for me?” Five asked in a small voice.
Rowan looked at Five as if she’d asked if they’d ever tried running away from the zombies. “Yeah? You went off comms and nobody knew where you were,” she huffed. At Five’s continued baffled stare, Rowan furrowed her brow in offense. “Did you think we wouldn’t even try?”
“I don’t see why you would!” Five cried.
Cora wanted very badly to facepalm. This wasn’t going well.
“Why on earth would you put yourself in so much danger, Rowan?” Five sounded actually angry now. “Did you just go running off by yourself with no idea where I was?”
“No!” Rowan was getting louder. “We have a protocol for this, Rachel. Me, and Runner Eight, and Twelve, and of course Seven—”
“They volunteered for our standard search party, Five,” Cora broke in impatiently. “I told you, we were worried. Rowan was practically beside herself—”
“We don’t just leave one of our runners out after dark, alright?” Rowan snapped, glowering at Cora. “Not at Abel. Look, I don’t care what you think. As long as you’re running for us, you’re one of us. Maybe that’s not the way at Mullins, but you’re here now.”
Five had gone quiet. She’d balled the sheets up in her fists and gone still, staring fixedly at the back of her injured knee. The look of misery on her face deflated Rowan’s defensiveness.
Rowan glanced at Cora for a cue, shamefaced. Cora tilted her head slightly towards Five, urging Rowan on. “Look. I’m sorry about what I said. I crossed a line. I didn’t mean—”
“No, I’m sorry,” Five broke in, voice thin and wavering. “I’m so sorry.”
“…for what?” Cora prompted, confused by the change in mood.
“I…I don’t know,” Five answered in a frustrated rush. “For…worrying you. For putting people in danger looking for me. For all the trouble I’ve caused, taking up medical resources for the second time in two weeks. For…not acting like I’m part of Abel now.”
Five looked nervously at her roommates as if waiting for someone to contradict her. “I just…it’s the apocalypse, you know? I’m not even from Mullins, so they got rid of me pretty quick. And the only reason Abel even let me in was because of some files I managed to grab running from some zoms.” Five glanced in the direction Maxine had left, but saw no sign of the physician. “So, you weren’t wrong. I was being dismissive, even though you all were so kind to me, and I shouldn’t have—”
“I still shouldn’t have had a go at you,” Rowan interrupted. “I know I fly off the handle sometimes. I worked so hard to get into the runners, and…a lot of places, and I just put it all on you. But you still didn’t deserve any of what I said.”
“Rowan, I don’t care about what you said.” Five’s tone was earnest. “I mean, it sucked, yeah. And it was weirdly targeted, seeing as we’ve only known each other a couple weeks. But Rowan,” Five shook her head incredulously. “I care more about what you did. You risked your life for me, which is terrifying, but…I can’t say how much that means. You’ve both been better friends to me than I deserve.”
Rowan gaped, unsure how to respond. But Cora put a hand on Five’s shoulder, and Five looked up at her with a hopeful expression.
“Not better than you deserve, Rachel,” Cora said, beaming. “But we are your friends. Right, Ro?”
“Yeah,” Rowan answered solemnly. “If you want.”
“Are you kidding?!” Five squeaked, to overcome to care if she was being cheesy. “Yes, please!” With a teary laugh, Five surged up to her knees to throw an arm around her roommates’ shoulders, dragging them forward for a quick hug. She’d forgotten about her bad knee, though, and she flopped down almost immediately with a comical wince.
Rowan and Cora burst out laughing, and after a moment, Five joined them in relief.
They were still laughing when Maxine returned with a capped syringe in one rubber-gloved palm. She was relieved at the renewed atmosphere between the trio. It was three in the morning and she didn’t really have the energy to try to mediate anyway.
With one last jab and profuse thanks from Five to Maxine, Five was finally released with instructions to stay off the leg as much as she could for a few days. The roommated began the slow trek towards the runner’s dorms. Rowan waited outside the shower building, drowsily watching the shadows of guards on the wall while Cora fetched Five some clothes. It wasn’t long before the small runner staggered out, wet-haired and exhausted, baseball cap dangling from limp fingers. There wasn’t much conversation on the way home.
Rowan unlocked the door to Room 42 and pushed it open, barely toeing out of her sneakers before flopping onto her bed. Cora sat down on her own bunk with a tired sigh.
Five had stopped in the hall to pick up her backpack, which had been left leaning against the doorframe. The index card with “5” drawn on it in red marker was already looking worse for wear, and without the electronics, the bag was pitifully empty. Five stepped into the room, unzipping its top and shifting the bundle of dirty running clothes under her arm as if to dump them inside. Before she finished the motion, though, she hesitated. With one decisive movement, she turned and pulled open the empty drawer of the dresser to her left, dumping the laundry into it unceremoniously. She pretended not to notice Rowan and Cora’s eyes on her as she fished out her comb, ran it through her hair, and set it on the dresser. Finally, Five crossed the room to haul herself up the broken ladder to her bunk. She paused at the top to hang her cap on one of the end posts before looking down.
“Good night, you guys. Thank you.”
Cora and Rowan returned the greeting, all three women smiling at one another before Cora stood to turn off the light. Room 42 was reunited, and its residents asleep within minutes.
A few evenings later, there was a little extra excitement around dinner throughout Abel. Cora had picked up Five’s shifts in the kitchen to let her spend more time off her feet, and had managed to call in a few favors to influence the menu.
A deep, savory, meaty scent beckoned from the cafeteria yard as Five and Rowan arrived.
“Is that beef?” Five aked excitedly. “I think that’s the first time since I’ve been here!”
Rowan sped up the last few yards to the door, clearly just as enthusiastic as Five. The pair rushed in to claim their servings and their seats. They joined a table full of other runners, squeezing side by side into a gap at the center that had clearly been left for them. With a dismissive wave from one of the other attendants, Cora came off the line to join them with a bowl of her own, collecting praise and calls of thanks as she crossed the cafeteria and nestled in next to her girlfriend, who had chosen a seat roughly across from Five.
“Cora’s famous for her beef and dumpling stew,” Rowan explained, scooping a bite of each on her spoon. “There’s only a little bit of meat, and it’s probably been dried, but she does something to it that makes it taste pre-Z.”
“One of these days, you have got to tell us how you do it,” Sam chimed in, mouth full. He was a few seats to Cora’s right, and was slightly awkwardly trying to ignore the public display of attention at his elbow. Five caught his gaze smiled shyly before turning her attention to her own meal. Rowan was right; if not for an unusually chewy texture, she would have believed the chunks of beef were fresh. And the dumplings were delicately strewn with fresh herbs. Five closed her eyes just a moment to savor the taste.
When she looked up, Runner Eight was weaving through the tables in front of her. She paused for half a moment near the runner’s table, giving Five an appraising look. Five could do nothing but give her a single nod and make a note to thank her later. Even if Five was sure Eight thought she would turn out to be some sort of traitor, Eight had still gone out with the search party. Maybe Five needed to trust the people around her a little more.
In fact, when Five looked around the table, she realized that most of the faces had become familiar. Runner Three was causing some sort of commotion at one end of the table, as usual. Jody was chattering animatedly into the gentle din of the cafeteria. The whole place was packed with people sharing their lives in a world that had grown frighteningly foreign, and Five couldn't help but be impressed by all they had accomplished together. And of course, there were her roommates, smiling and sharing a meal that really did taste like home.
Yeah, Five thought. I’m glad to be home.