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izuku knew that things were going to get complicated soon with him knowing shigaraki more than as a villain.
if anything, he expected things to be worse and blow up in his face sooner but he'd accept what he could get. hes actually extremely happy that out of all people shinsou was the one to figure out or be the one to overhear his muttering. though, izuku can vaguely remembers a single thing from the days he spent in the hospital thanks to him being heavily drugged and being out of it most of the time. sure, he knows he outed himself right away about shigaraki, and that hitoshi took it like, well, as a loyal best friend who's watching his friend doing something absolutely dumb. really, he remembers in a haze, the strained and stressed expression on the purple heads face.
though, izuku could see the acceptance at one point, burning through as he just sighed and whispered things that izuku could hardly remember before he had blacked out into a medical sleep. izuku knew for a fact though, he would need to and had to talk to shinsou when he got back to school. even if both parties want to ignore what happened, though izuku would have to bring it up at some point. after all, hes associating with a villain. hes a hero student, all mights successor. izuku can't just ignore the problem.
so, when he walked into his classroom that morning and arrived much earlier than he normally would just to speak to the purple haired teen, he was glad to see that most of early risers and birds weren't there just yet. there was only iida who was studying or reviewing the work they must've had, though that was no surprise to izuku. todoroki was also there, but the icy hot teen had his head down on his desk, possibly sleep, or not. izuku wasnt sure, but he wasnt going to bother see if he was, instead his green eyes narrowed onto shinsou who had also matched with todoroki with his head bashed against the desk.
he was most definitely not sleep. though izuku only knew this because shinsou doesnt exactly sleep, seeing as he has troubles with it. even at one point he heard that his dad's had to take him to an doctor to try and get him sleeping pills, but that didnt work. if anything, shinsou felt worse rather than better. izuku felt for his friend, and wish him better, but that wasn't what his main concern now though ( but it is high on the list though and he will get back to shinsous ungodly sleeping habits ), he needs to focus on talking to the teen.
izuku masked his nervous as he made his way to shinsous desk, only stopping to give a short hello to iida who called out to him in his usual loud and preppy voice. they talked for a few, and in his opinion, long anxious seconds. with iida asking about his health and how he was recovering so far, and izuku giving his best smile but it was small, ready to fall from his quirking lips, saying that he was okay. to finally, iida approval noise as he let izuku finally, finally, be on his way.
it was stressful, the short interaction was stressful. but izuku was finally at shinsous desk and he had moved his finger to give a tap to the other teens shoulder but luckily, he didnt need to, shinsou eyes peered up just as his hand was about to connect to his shoulder. izuku winced ever so slightly, could see the dulled tiredness in his violet eyes that were more present than usual. he knew shinsou had a bad night, he could almost always tell when he does and its almost always a bad day for him. partly, izuku wonders if it was his fault as his hand fretly and awkwardly hovers over the teen.
"i.. hitoshi, are you okay?" he asked the other with a whisper to only receive a grunt and incoherent groans of words as shinsou head banged back into the desk while his hand waved in the air. izuku, he had took that as a no, then. izuku frowned, but ultimately decided not to force a talk out of him for now. he was worried, and he didnt want his friend to be in distress, and in distress because of him.
"hitoshi, i wanted to talk later. do you think you'll be able to be able to sit with me alone at lunch?" izuku got a groan and a nod in approval. he quietly and softly sighed, he'll take what he can get for now, at least he got hitoshi agrees to talk with to him alone at lunch. maybe then, he'll at least be able to help hitoshi or, actually, maybe not. if anything he might make things by talking to shinsou about his relationship with shigaraki which, izuku also has no idea what his relationship with shigaraki is. are they friends? was he just someone izuku can talk to when he needs to?
izuku feels as if it was more to their relationship as it goes on though but he just doesn't know what to make what of it. shigaraki felt strangely familiar more and more when they talk, dispite izuku knows they havent met in the past. he feels comfortable with the villain, izuku wants to be around the villain. he cares when he probably shouldn't, and even now, izuku wants to go see him, wants to know where shigaraki is at. how he is doing, if he's taking care of himself. its the least he could do for how the the older man always seems to be caring and protective of him as of lately. and izuku, he can't say he minds it.
shigaraki wasnt someone he thought he needed in his life. someone he thought he willingly even wanted in his life, but he can't help but think otherwise. even if its morally wrong, even it makes him hated by others for being a little selfish. shigaraki has been kind and patient to izuku, and treated him as a equal all at the sametime.
he couldn't exactly say the same for his friends.
...
shinsou had to admit, he was expecting midoriya to come and talk to him later. though, he couldn't say he was mad or upset about it. but shinsou couldn't say he was mentally prepared too, his mind felt like a storm. a strong wind storm as trees bristled and the air whistle loudly. his mind was in shambles with each of his thoughts so, so, loud but yet so quiet and in a far echo that he wasn't sure if he heard it quite right. his thoughts were overlapping in a mesh that made his temples throb, and his eyes turn even more sensitive to the blinding class lights and every fucking sound--
so, yes, shinsou wasnt mentally ready for the talk. he has a migraine out of this world that he went to sleep ( or, in better terms -- stared at his walls or at times, his ceiling before his body had crashed near four. ), with and woke up with a worse one. he came to school feeling like absolute shit, with his food refusing to stay down, and coffee -- oh that turned to acidy bile the moment it hit his tastebuds. he was for once, and rarely, running on pure hope and luck that he won't crash. he made sure to tell his dad that today was a bad day, and his dad tried to make him stay but he just shrugged it off saying he was fine. though, he's sure it came out as slurs.
when lunch came, and it came fast, he was dreading going into the loud and bright cafeteria. he could feel his body holding on by a thread, and he's almost amazing himself, that he was walking. he doesn't know how he was doing it, his legs were bucking every once in a while as he tried to force himself to the destination. at one point, midoriya had made it to his side and he had grabbed his arm, as if was actively trying to help hold him up. it was probably obvious, at least to the greenhead, he wasnt in the best shape. shinsou just smiled, but his smiles aren't the best nor are they really comforting but midoriya had laughed and helped him to the cafeteria.
"hito i know ive asked this earlier, but are you okay? and don't give me that dismissive grunt and hand wave saying no but not really." midoriya says with his eyes shining with his own concern and shinsou felt a lump growing in his throat. he opened his mouth to speak, but no words came out, only a dry and horse strangled sound as he tried to form a sentence -- hell a word. he didnt know what was wrong perse, but he had a lot of feelings nagging at him that bothered him until he was sick. until he just was overwhelmed and he was going to explode but didnt. instead he just shoved the explosion down deeper and kept those emotions locked away and tried to sleep that night.
he supposed he should've tried talking to dad or papa. they would've known what to do, or partly. shinsou couldn't just casually mention that midoriya was possibly friends with a villain, and not any villain, it was shigaraki. though, he guess he could have at least mention the friends thing if it bothered him that much. he doesn't need to be sick and overwhelmed because of someone else.
"hitochan?" midoriya called out, and at one point they were sitting with food placed in front of them. they were away from all of the others, with the friends that midoriya hangs out with shooting glances from across the cafeteria. they were obvious about the distress of him being alone with midoriya, or it could be the fact midoriya wasn't with them for once. or maybe a mix of both. he honestly didnt care, he just turned back to midoriya and gave a frown at his friends concern.
"sorry.. i- migraine.." shinsou explained with a short answer and a wave of his hand in frustration that he couldn't get the deeper explanation he wanted out. but, there was a look of recognition in midoriyas green eyes as he gave a sad smile and nod understanding. he was glad, at least midoriya didnt need the long, deep, explanations. shinsou didnt need to try and force himself when he was sure if he did, things would be so much harder for himself. shinsou gave a tiny smile, though it was barely seen as he pushed away the food that was sitting in front of him.
it was starting to upset his stomach, with the smells that would normally be delicious to him. too bad, shinsou, on any other day, would of loved to eat tonkatsu. but today, just staring at it makes him sick. he could see midoriya stare at him, and frown more. he was grateful when the greenhead teen had pulled his plate away, and placed it as far away as he could -- though he did it with mild hesitation, unsure if he was helping or making things worse. he was helping, helping a lot. shinsou felt the pressure release from his stomach and the previous lump from his throat start to melt away.
"so.. you wanted to talk right?" shinsou asked, finally get to the point of why they were sitting alone together. while he doesn't mind being alone with midoriya, really he doesnt, he loves the presence of the other teen a lot. he kept him entertained with hearing his soft mutterings about whatever came to his mind. it always made shinsou smile, it even made him laughs sometimes with warm fuzzy feelings that brought him comfort. but now, shinsou is sure this is not one of those times. he could see the shift in midoriyas face as he gave a nod.
"i- um- yeah.. just, what exactly do you think about what happened in the.. uh hospital? i.. i honestly don't remember much with being high on medicine but i remember enough. and- and- before i go on i just- ju- just wanna.. wanna.. i.." midoriya trailed, as did his eyes to the table. they were shining with tears but none had fell, instead he sniffled and wiped them away with his focus glued to the suddenly interesting table.
shinsou could tell he wanted to say more but he wasn't sure what -- and at this point, shinsou didnt think midoriya was sure what he wanted to say. but he thinks he understands. even if he was barely grasping at the whole situation. shinsou sighs, why were feelings and friends so complicated? he thinks he might actually visit recovery girl after this conversation, he could feel his head start to hurt worse. the pain was down to the base of his neck and it was not a simple dull ache no more. it was harsh throb that felt as if moved the wrong way he would snap his own neck or head off.
"izuku, i was surprised yes but i wasn't mad or betrayed if you think that. if anything i wanted to know why. i just wanted to know what got you feeling you have more comfort with a villain than your own.. friends.." shinsou says the last part with mild hesitation as he tried not to agree that maybe a villain was more comforting than his friends. but the tiny voice in his head told him otherwise, that the most of the whole dekusquad was either decent and was an actual friend that midoriya can go to or they were overwhelming, coddling, and they have a horrible habit of trying to control midoriya. that, in itself, caused more fights in the small friendship group than he liked to been around to see.
"actually, never mind. any villain would be comforting than this dysfunctional ass friendship." shinsou soon said and midoriya eyes widen before he snorted at what he said. shinsou raised an brow but didnt comment on the green haired teen laughing. he was really serious but shinsou supposed midoriya didnt need to know that if it made him happy. it wasn't long until midoriyas laughs turned quiet and he smiled with quiet hics every once and a while. shinsou was midly confused on how what he said was so funny, though, he couldn't focus on that long. not with how cute midoriya soft giggles that passed his lips as he settled for a happy grin.
"thank you hitoshi! i, um, was scared you hated me. but, i can answer your more serious questions when you feel a bit better, okay?" midoriya says with a serious frown towards the end, and shinsou knew it was no point of him trying to argue. he always loses, and always gets treated with even more care than if he just nod and do what midoriya wants. the boy was just subborn like that, and sometimes it scares hitoshi.
"okay.." hitoshi sealed his fate and the other latter smiled so brightly that the purple haired teen felt himself go blind for a moment. if it wasn't midoriya, he swears he wouldn't be doing things like this. not eating alone for them because of suspicious behavior and they can't talk around others. not trying to calm them down and make them feel better when him himself feel like absolute shit. not even trying to be friends with them. but since it's not anyone else, he will gladly risk getting in trouble for midoriya if it means the freckled face teens happiness.
after all, midoriya is his best friend.