Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

There was a song crooning its lyrics in your ears. Something in Japanese. Without opening your eyes, you wrinkled your nose, trying to figure out why. As far as you could remember, you had crawled into bed after submitting your AP Lang essay, desperately trying to catch a few hours of sleep before school. 

In fact, what you felt against your head was not the soft pillows of your bed, but something harder. Like glass. You opened your eyes, and pressed your hands against the glass of a...train.

Against your ears were circular headphones, clip ons that hung from your ears. And despite not having learned a lick of Japanese, the lyrics to the song were clear as day. You tapped a hand against the headphones, and trailed your hand along the cord to find a ridiculously outdated MP3 player. A cylindrical walkman of sorts.

"Next stop, Iwatodai," came the announcement from above. For a moment you stared up, up at the ancient technology, up at the old speaker, and straight across, to a dozing off boy who somehow managed to wake up and return your stare just as you were about to look away.

You instinctively turned to the left, hand reaching up to play with your hair. Your fingers brushed across hairpins, crossed just the right way to form a roman numeral. Without having to feel around its shape, you already knew what number it was. 

"Iwatodai," you mumbled, just as the train came to a stop. Half-dazed, you jerked to your feet, grabbing onto a nearby pole to keep your shaking legs from collapsing. From your peripheral you could see the boy stand up too, languid and practiced. You followed him outside, and shivered at the sudden cold. This late at night...now, maybe you hadn't really played Persona 3 anytime soon but wasn't a key feature of the whole game the Dark Hour...?

As if confirming your thoughts, the streets were eerily quiet. Normally, you didn't put too much stock in depending on others, but you found yourself scooting closer to the protagonist all the same. He said absolutely nothing, true to his role as a silent protagonist, and when he stopped in front of the dorm you stumbled into him, quickly bouncing back.

"Sorry!" You laughed nervously, eyes darting all around. "The coffins, haha, nice prank, right?" You hated how your voice raised up two octaves at the end, and your nails dug crescents into your palms. The problem was you knew why there were coffins. Did he?

On one hand, he had strolled past all of it so casually it nearly convinced you there was nothing wrong with the green moon. On the other hand, he was probably the type with near facial paralysis, and you were but a poor, self-aware isekai protagonist, lucid dreaming. Probably lucid dreaming. You swallowed once, and scooted back next to the protagonist, who made no indication he'd turn away from you.

"You're here for the dorm, right?" He nodded once. Really quiet guy. "Me too. Um...should we go in? Maybe the weird coffins will go away as soon as I get some sleep!" He took a few steps forward, before turning back, inclining his head towards you. "You want to go in together?" He nodded, though you could read from his expression it was more for your sake than his.

Well, at least this dream-figure of yours was realistic. You lunged for him, latching onto his arm, and followed him inside, greeted by Pharos himself.

"You're late," he called, and then his smile seemed to deepen as he caught sight of you. "And you...well, I suppose an audience doesn't matter."

"Hey," you awkwardly mumbled, curling deeper into the protagonist's side. Pharos did not react, simply handing your protagonist a sheet of paper. You followed your protagonist to the counter, where he set down his sheet and took the pen Pharos offered him.

Arisato Minato.

Well, it'd be weird if you turned out to be an Arisato Minako. You watched Minato pass up the contract paper, like a student passing up papers in class. The mundane image made something in your chest hurt awfully, and you bit down on your cheek and ignored the throb. Just a lucid dream. Once you got into bed, everything would be back to normal.

There was another part of yourself that realized something else. If you weren't offered a contract, didn't that mean you didn't have access to the Velvet Room? That you weren't a wildcard? The thought was only momentary, and instead you trained your eyes on Pharos. 

And despite knowing what would happen, the moment Pharos melted away into the darkness you yelped, shoulders jerking upwards.

From behind you, Yukari and Mitsuru introduced themselves as soon as the lights turned back on.

"Two transfer students?" Yukari asked. "You seem...pretty close. Are you dating or something?"

And since Minato didn't talk, it was up to you to clear his name. You released your vice grip on his arm, waving your hands frantically. "Oh, no, today's the first time we met! Um, he's just putting up with me because I get spooked easily." You laughed sheepishly, twirling your hair in your hand.

"Well, it's getting late." Mitsuru gave you a long hard look, as if calling into question your existence. Hell, you were doing the exact same thing. "There's rooms for both of you on the third floor. Your things should already be there, so I suggest tucking in for the night."

"Oh, I'll show you. Follow me." Minato strode behind Yukari, and you quickly bounded over to him, nipping at his heels as you followed him up the stairs. Though you seriously doubted you were actually in the dorm, actually in some sort of fictional Japanese world, you couldn't help but marvel at everything around you. In-game, you only clicked on a bunch of circles to move to the next map. But now, the stairs, the banister, the ceiling, all of it caught your eye.

Yukari stopped at the top of the stairs. "...is this your first time in a dorm?" She said, a hint of annoyance in her voice. Your mouth snapped shut, and you ran up the stairs, tragically running out of breath as you reached the top where she was.

"Sorry!" You clasped your hands together and gave her your best puppy-eyes look, pressing your lips to your intertwined hands.

"Whatever." She sighed. "It's fine. Here, your rooms are here." She looked at you specifically. "Your room is on the third floor. I'll show you after him."

You nodded, eager to make a good impression on Yukari, who you were sorely disappointed had no romance route for a female protagonist. Yukari nodded. "Well, do you two have any questions, then?"

"None." You whirled around to see Minato. So he could talk! A mostly-silent protagonist with an admittedly nice voice. 

"I see...and...was your trip over here okay?"

"It was fine." So maybe he wasn't a completely silent protagonist, but his words sure were short and sweet. More brusque than sweet, actually.

"Oh. Good." She paused for a moment. "Then, I'll show you your room," she told you. Before she could lead you away, you turned to Minato, smiling as sweet as you could. You'd probably be back in the real world soon, but you had nothing but sympathy for him, the poor thing. Doomed to kill Ryoji or become the seal. Thinking of that, you hid a wince behind the back of your wrist.

"Um, goodnight!" you called, wide grin decorating your face in place of the wince from before.

He nodded, and you finally left to trail after Yukari, who directed you to your room on the third floor. "Well," she said, "I'm sure you have a lot of questions, but please save that for tomorrow, okay? Goodnight."

"Goodnight," you called after her, before stepping into your room and closing the door behind you. As soon as you heard it click shut behind you, you collapsed onto the floor and let out a huge sigh. 

You unpacked in silence, digging out a change of underwear and a worn t-shirt and a pair of shorts, before sighing again into your hands.

"God, I need a shower..." There was no shower in the room. You dressed as fast as you could, plugging your flip phone in before turning off the lights and diving into bed. Despite having already had a nap sometime between your real life and on the train, you still fell asleep within a few minutes anyways.

Minato and Yukari were the ones to wake you up the next day. More specifically, Minato waited outside because Yukari told him to as she made her way into your room to shake you awake. After the ordeal of getting ready in the morning while not being a morning person was over, you trailed behind Yukari and Minato through the monorail and through school. And for the most part, you did great. The only classes you were a little behind on were composition and Japanese history, but you considered that completely normal. It only took you walking home with Minato and Junpei to realize something important—you were still stuck in a fictional world.

"Are you okay?" Minato's voice broke you out of your absentmindedness.

"Huh? Oh, yeah, I'm fine." You smiled nervously at him. What a shame, for him to waste his voice asking that. "I just—well, it's nothing."

He stared at you for a moment, before inclining his head, moving on in silence. You and Junpei exchanged a look, shrugging, before you chased after him, jogging to keep up with his strides. He didn't spare you a look, but slowed down his pace, and at the time you hadn't know any better, but maybe it was then—then that you fell in love with him.

Or maybe it was the glint in his eye when he picked up an evoker a week later, when he raised it to his head without a moment's hesitation, the seemingly habitual tug of the trigger. He commanded Orpheus so well it made you think: ah, he's on a New Game Plus. But how could you even bring that up? 

You snatched the gun from his hand, as just as quick, pulled the trigger. The arms of Vega enveloped your body, and you nearly had to break into tears. Vega and Altair, that old Chinese story your grandparents had told you. Vega, a healer with holy attacks, like Yosuke with Mahama. How far could you be from this story's protagonist?

When he woke up in the hospital, and gently shook you awake from the nice nap you were having at his bedside, there was something understanding in his eyes. You could almost delude yourself into thinking he knew you had just as much foreknowledge as he did, about his eventual death, about how out of place you were. And when he closed his eyes and let the weak sunlight light up his face from the window, as if lost in memories of someplace else—it was then you fell in love.

And then you fell out of bed, hitting the ground just as your alarm began to beep. For a moment, you could feel the hospital blankets under your fingers, see the way Minato's hair lit up in the feeble light, and then all of that dissipated as soon as you could conjure up bittersweet nostalgia.

"Shift at Sojiro's," you read from the notification on your phone, a far cry from the flip phone you carried around in your high school years. "Guess I can't keep him waiting." You dressed casually, hooked in a pair of earrings, and smiled at your reflection in the mirror. Though you now left your hair down, you kept the hairpins hooked in their XXII pattern. 

If you were remembering your dates right, Akira Kurusu would be living with Sojiro at this point.

Chapter Text

"Sakura!" you called, entering the door with as much excitement as anyone could have. "Good to see you again!"

"Back already?"

"You sound disappointed! But it went well, thank you very much for asking." Your annual March trip back to Tatsumi Port Island had gone as it always did, and the memory of it only lingered in your mind for moments at a time. Sakura knew a little about it, enough to understand it was to visit a dead friend, so he could hardly begrudge you for always missing a couple weeks in March.

"Good for you. Oh, and perfect timing," he called, from behind the counter. "Hey. This is one of my part-timers. If you have any questions and I'm not here, she can help you. But don't bother her too much."

"No amount of questions is too much," you said, laughing amicably as you joined him behind the counter. "Are you the probation kid Sakura was talking about?"

"He is," Sojiro replied quickly, though if Akira was anything close to the silent protagonist Minato was, he would've just waited for Sojiro to answer for him. "So don't hesitate to crack down on him."

"Alright. I won't be easy on you!" You grinned at him, half out of the cheerfulness you had in public, half because you were meeting another one of the wild cards. "I know you called me here because you have something else to do, Sakura."

"What, getting rid of me already?" Sojiro sighed, but good-naturedly. "Alright, I'll be leaving now. And you, kid, be nice to her. She's my best part-timer."

"I'm your only part-timer," you offered, but waved as he exited the store. For a moment you stared after him, but then you stretched and sighed, digging around the back for an apron. The silence stretched across the cafe, so you tried asking a question you knew the answer to. "Hey, what's your name?"

"Kurusu Akira." You smiled, washed your hands, and replied with your own name. 

"For now, we can just wait for customers. Coffee? Sakura won't mind." He nodded, and you fixed him a cup with steady, practiced hands. For now, you prepared for him a more mellow brand, good for conversation. He took his black, and you dumped sugar and milk in yours, idly stirring your coffee flavored milk with a spoon.

From the corner of your eye, he looked exactly as his 3D model had. But once you took a closer look, beneath his thick glasses he had long eyelashes. His hair was long enough to act as a shield from your prying stare, but not long to the point of covering up his eyes. He hardly resembled Minato, but if you looked hard enough, in the curve of his jaw and slope of his nose you could superimpose your wildcard on his face.

"Is there something on my face?" he asked, and you blinked, holding your spoon still. Ah. It wasn't good to drop your guard around a Phantom Thief, after all.

"No, you just...remind me of someone." Though you couldn't see your own expression, you were sure there was a fond smile on your face, eyes curved amicably. Yukari called it your dreamy smile, which you had trained to use on every social link you were trying to build. "Sorry. I should be more aware of myself as an adult."

"...it's fine." Quiet voice, that one had, but he still talked much more than Minato did. 

You took a long sip of your milk-coffee, and sighed into a closed fist. Things would be a lot less complicated if you admitted to having a persona this early on, but it was such horrible timing you couldn't bring yourself to do it. Instead, you smiled at Akira again, content with making implications for now.

"How are classes going? Being a transfer student is tough, isn't it?"

"You were a transfer student?" he asked, though only in the spirit of conversationalism. You indulged yourself anyways.

"I don't know if you've heard of Tatsumi Port Island, but it's this little man-made island. I transferred there, but luckily I found a couple of people to befriend right away." Speaking of, Ryuji was like a far cuter, far more affectionate Junpei. God, Junpei, that idiot. It made you miss him instantly, and you promised yourself you'd shoot him a text after your shift was over. "You have people like that, right?"

Ryuji. Ann. Morgana. Instead of saying those names out loud, you repeated them in your mind.

"What's taking you so long?" Morgana finally asked. 

"I do," he answered. You nodded and smiled at his admission, before curiously peering around him. 

"That's good. By the way, was that a cat?" 

"Yes." Akira lifted Morgana up, despite his cries of protests, and set him on the seat next to him. Instantly invigorated by the sight of a cat, you scurried around the counter to sit next to Akira, fawning over Morgana with scratches and pets.

"Ooh...she's good," he said. "Wait, get her off me! Joker!"

You thought of Koromaru back at Tatsumi Port Island, and released your grip from Morgana. He cautiously blinked up at you. You smiled back down at him, wondering if it was worth it blowing your cover just so you could see the shock on their faces once you responded to Morgana.

"Your cat is so cute! Does it have a name?"

"Morgana." Akira scratched Morgana under the chin, who purred contentedly. "He's pleased to meet you."

"Hey! When did I ever say that?"

"Aw, really? I'm glad!" You stepped back behind the counter again, propping your head up against the countertop. "I should probably ask you the classic adult questions, right? How's class going?"

"Fine." Morgana bat away his hand, which didn't put him off at all. You sighed helplessly, still smiling all the same. What a quiet version to be stuck with—or maybe it was your fault he didn't like you. Some of those thoughts must've leaked through your polite mask, because he tilted his head to ask you a question. "Are you okay?"

"Hm?" Either he was too observant or you were losing your touch. Pushing away any last bit of emotion you had to deal with later, you plastered on the most realistic smile you could manage. And it would have to do, this faux expression which only Minato could look past. "Never better. Hey, if you ever need help with homework, don't hesitate to ask me! I was second-best in my grade, you know."

He dipped his head once in acknowledgement. "Thanks. I'll keep that in mind."

"Aw, no problem." You picked up his coffee cup, stacked it on yours, and took it back to scrub down in the sink. "Have you joined any extracurricular activities?"

He shook his head, something you barely caught in your peripheral vision. "You?"

"Me?" It took you a moment, and the corner of your lips quirked up. So he was directing his questions back at you to avoid talking or giving himself away? What a sly kid. "I was in...hm...three clubs, and then the student council."

He twisted his hair between his fingers as you dried your hands and walked back to the counter. "What clubs?"

"Why so curious?" You kept mirth in your voice regardless. 

He shrugged. "No reason."

"In that case, I was in the fashion club, home ec club, and volleyball." Bebe, Fuuka, and Rio. Ah, maybe you could take a break and visit France sometime. Mitsuru would probably give you plenty of paid vacation days if you called her and asked. 

"Sounds busy."

"It was!" You smiled into the palm of your hand, perfectly content to bask in memories once again. "But it was fun. You should enjoy high school while it lasts."

"Okay." Beside him, Morgana made an exasperated noise.

"Aren't you being too dry with your words? You sound like you're tired of her!" He batted Akira's thigh, though the guy in question only picked up Morgana's paws to squish. "H-hey! I need those to walk!"

"Hm... I'm afraid there's not much else I can offer. Is there anything going on in school you might need some advice on?" You leaned in closer, but at a perfectly respectable distance. You weren't going to be weird to a high schooler. "I might not look like it, but I've got a lot of life experience. Really!" That was true in more ways than one. Two lifetimes and a whole year of dealing with shadows and Personas did that to a person.

He seemed to consider it. Turned your words this way and that in his mind, and it was almost like you could see the gears whirring around in the shine of his eyes.

"Are there people you don't get along with?" Strega, discluding Chidori. Maiko's mom. Igor, but maybe that was only your guilt speaking, your bias and self-loathing from your inability to save a life. Maybe not so much Igor, but yourself.

"Oh, plenty," you told him instead. "But do you specifically mean, like, friends or authority figures?"

"Authority figures," he amended. You met his eyes, the sharp glint from the reflection of the lights on the walls. Was he testing you? No, you were overthinking. He was purposefully being vague about Kamoshida, but then again, you could purposely be vague about him too.

"Like bosses or teachers." You nodded wisely. "They're the types who are given far too much power over you, especially the latter. In that case, you'd be surprised at how easy you can change their perspective."

"How so?" His voice avoided sounding interested or eager, but not disinterested either. He struck a good balance between the two.

"Like, hm... Corruption can happen to teachers and bosses alike, right? Sometimes personalities can't be changed, but that doesn't mean you should give up and take it." Now, to think of the best possible way to encourage him to go ahead and steal treasures from palaces without being too obvious... "A change in perspective is best for them."

"That's rather vague," Akira said. Morgana meowed in agreement.

"Isn't that just a cop out answer?" Morgana grumbled, and you pretended to not hear. "But then again, the best way to force a change in perspective is to just steal their treasure! That's why you have to go back and force Kamoshida into a change of heart."

"Haha, is that so?" You had far more self control than Akechi did to accidentally reply to Morgana. "Sorry, I'll try harder. Tell you what, if someone's giving you a hard time, you should just beat some sense into them."

"How violent." 

"Hey, as long as no one else knows, it's not illegal! Back in my day, as long as you had a good old fashioned fistfight at midnight, no one got in trouble." You made more small talk with him, serving the occasional customer with gusto. Akira talked just as little, and you carried the conversation whenever he didn't deflect your questions back to you. It really felt like talking to Minato again, and though you wouldn't exactly say you missed talking to a brick wall, at least they were two different brick walls.

How to put it... Minato was a quiet, aloof, cute brick wall and Akira was a quiet, aloof brick wall with a surprisingly biting sense of humor. He just happened to subtle and deadpan about it, which didn't disappoint you like you thought it might. Sure, you thought he'd be a lot more smooth and charismatic—and he had the beginnings of it, he just didn't have the trademark smirk on his face the whole time. Then again, you hadn't seen him as Joker yet.

You watched as Akira took someone else's order at the booth. Earlier, near the end of your conversation you could've sworn you heard the telltale voice calling I am thou, thou art I somewhere in the back of your mind, or maybe it was simple delusion. If you were one of his social links...the universe, right? The only major arcana left.

"Is something wrong?" You shook your head at his question, busying yourself with wiping down the counter.

"Nah. I tend to space out a lot." You hummed the rhythm of a song stuck in your mind quietly, washing dishes and making the occasional cup of coffee until your shift ended.

"Alright, I'm leaving!" you called. Sojiro had returned sometime during your shift, and he waved you off. Akira adjusted his glasses and gave you a nod too, stepping outside. Adjusting the straps on your bag, you squinted up at the sky. "It's only three and it's raining?" 

At least you were prepared. You pulled out your light pink umbrella, courtesy of Yukari's good taste, and set off for the bus stop. Today was the seventeenth, and you had your eyes set on the Jack Frost dolls in one of the vending machines. 

"If it was Minato, he wouldn't have to wait until one of the guaranteed days," you mumbled to yourself, though lacking the resentment you thought you might have. You were just a little tired hearing the words come out of your mouth. The three or so he left you (no doubt after showing it to Elizabeth) still sat in your room, along with your growing collection. 

Maybe you were developing a Jack Frost doll hoarding problem. Snorting at the thought, you ducked your head and swiped your card at the turnstiles, holding your breath as you began using all your braincells to figure out the right route to take. Navigating Tokyo by train was still by far the hardest thing you ever had to do, including fighting off Nyx.

Well, that, and... On second thought, best not dwell on that for too long. Jack Frost dolls! Since today was the seventeenth, you'd clear out the whole crane game and rob the good owner of their profit. If it was as stocked as it normally was, you'd have enough for all your buddies and then some. Maybe you could even burn one for Ryoji and Minato...no, bad idea. You nearly skipped the whole way to the arcade anyways, giddy from the thought of beating that stupid crane machine.

An empty money pouch later, you lamented the loss of all your spare change. All but six hundred-yen in coins were left, and you longingly pressed a hand to the glass of the crane machine, eyes dead set on the Jack Frost dolls inside. I'll be back for you, you mouthed, wiping a tear away from your cheek. Never let it be said you were a graceful loser. A horrible one, to be perfectly fair. You were the terror of all shadows that managed to knock you down.

Just as you turned around to sulk the whole way back to your apartment, you met the eye of what looked like an elementary schooler with the sickest hat. "Oh, hi! Sorry, was I hogging up the crane machine?"

"Oh, no..." He breathed in. "Do you want me to try?"

"Huh?" You blinked, and he almost seemed to deflate. "Oh, are you sure? I would be so thankful—here, this is all I have left." He accepted the coins from you, regaining some of his confidence, and took your place at the claw machine. Six hundred yen and two plays later Shinya managed to snatch up two Jack Frost dolls, handing them over to you. You swept them up in your arms and thought, well, maybe I couldn't get any today so Shinya could get a chance to show off. Of course, what you actually said was, "thank you so much! What's your name? I'll buy you some ice cream!"

"I'm...Oda Shinya. And you don't have to. I was playing with your money, not mine."

"I gotta show my appreciation somehow! Besides, I gotta pay for your skilled labor."

He adjusted the brim of his cap. "It's fine."

"Then next time," you compromised. "I usually come either the seventh, seventeenth, or twenty-seventh. If you change your mind, let me know!" Securing the Jack Frost plushies tightly in your arms, you opened your umbrella once more to venture into the labyrinth of Tokyo's train station. For dinner, what better suited a lonely twenty-something than spruced up instant noodles?

Once you found a seat, you pulled out your phone to send one last text to Junpei.

-

You

guess who got another jack frost doll!!

Attached: [IMG_69420]

junpei 🍜

Another one????

Dude I thnk u have a prblm

You

im living life like i was meant to

junpei 🍜

Don't call me if u go into debt thn

Wait

You

? yeah?

junpei 🍜

I thnk I have one too

Went to Paulownia w Minato once

U want it?

You

pspspspsp if u dont want it ill take it

junpei 🍜

Cool Ill ship it tmr

You

pleasure doing business with u

junpei 🍜

Anytime bro

You

ill talk to u later i gotta get home now

tell koromaru i said hi!!!

junpei 🍜

Yeah yeah

-

All the way home, you spun around your two new additions to a growing addiction, and you were proud to say the silver color of your apartment key didn't faze you one bit this time around.

Chapter Text

On your first trip to Tartarus, you watched Minato stroll off to the side of the room, pause, and step back. When he finally noticed your staring, you only shot him a grin.

"Sorry, I was just curious why you'd walk all the way over." When he didn't respond, you shrugged it off and bounded over to his side, taking the chance to stare hard into the space he momentarily froze in front of. Unfortunately, not one single scrap of blue availed itself to your harsh stare. Oh well. Next time, you'd try harder. You had plenty of words to share with Igor, but he was probably too chicken to let you in.

"Hey, let's get going already!" Junpei, ever the man, piped up from his space beside Yukari. "I don't know about you, but if you're our leader, you shouldn't be spacing out so easy!"

"Geez, Junpei, he's still thinking." Yukari scowled. "But we shouldn't waste time." Minato nodded, and following right behind him, the four of you marched right in. Minato went in first anyways, because the rest of you didn't have the courage (nor experience!) he did.

After your first battle, you decided he was definitely on a New Game Plus. First thing he did was pull out...fucking Jack Frost. He might've thought he tricked you by pulling out a low level persona but no way was Jack Frost the level three Minato would be if he was actually on his first runthrough.

Instead of actually voicing your suspicions of him being ridiculously overleveled, you instead smacked his back a couple of times. "Stand up straight! You look like a shrimp."

Luckily, he played along, and though it was near imperceivable, fixed his posture just the slightest bit. You hid your giddy smile behind a well placed hand and swung your naginata from side to side with your other hand like one of those hockey sticks in middle school. 

"We should move on," Yukari said after a moment of you shyly swinging your naginata. 

"Right!" You perked up and tugged on Minato's sleeve, who eventually started moving again. Damn, why were you so giddy over Minato being polite and doing what you pestered him into? Must be silent protagonist syndrome. He was like one of those aloof cats who made their owners cry when they responded to their name.

"Soo..." Junpei began, whispering as the four of you advanced deeper into Tartarus. "What are these personas anyways? I know Hermes is like that Greek god, but who're Io and—and whatever the other two are called?"

"Huh, you don't know?" Following Minato's lead, you took your turn to smack the shadow with your naginata. "Yukari's, Io, is from a Greek myth. Zeus fell in love with her, and to hide her from Hera, turned Io into a cow. But then Hera found out and Io was stuck as a cow."

"Really?" Junpei took a smack at the shadow with his katana, as if lobbing back a baseball. "So that's why she's sitting on a cow head..."

"And Arisato's original persona, Orpheus, was a really good musician whose lover, Eurydice, died. He went to the Underworld to get her back, and his music was so touching they let him and Eurydice go on the condition that he leave the Underworld with her behind him without looking behind him to check. But right before he left the Underworld, he couldn't help himself, looked behind him, and lost Eurydice forever."

"What?" Junpei dodged the shadow's strike. "That's insane! All he had to do was not look behind him—hell, even I can do that!"

"Right? Doesn't it make you so mad?" You healed Minato with Dia, nodding sympathetically. "But as a tragedy, it really does make sense. He was a mortal that tried to cheat death, and ultimately failed. It's..." You spared no glance at Minato, though you deflated at the thought. "It's realistic," you simply decided to say. 

"While I'm sure you're learning a lot, can you guys save this for after the battle?" Yukari shouted, just as you summoned Vega to attack. 

"Sorry!" you called, and sure enough, Junpei held back the questions until after the battle was over.

"What about yours?" he asked. "Your persona, I mean. You never said."

"Mine?" You ran a finger over your evoker, giving it a wry grin. "Vega, you mean. She's originally from the Chinese myth of the Weaver Girl and Cowherd. Zhinu and Niulang."

"Oh, your pronunciation is good," Yukari commented.

"Thanks. I—well, it's nothing. It's also called Vega and Altair, and it varies from story to story, but the gist of it is Vega is a weaver girl and Altair is a cowherd, but because their love was forbidden they're banished to the two sides of the heavenly river: the Milky Way. But because of their great love, on the seventh day of the seventh month they reunite thanks to a bridge of magpies."

"Oh, wait, I know that! Isn't that Tanabata and the whole myth of Orihime and Hikoboshi?" Junpei seemed proud of his recollection. "On second thought, I'm pretty sure we learned this in grade school."

"You did?" You blinked. "Oh, that's right. Tanabata is a Japanese holiday based on the Qixi festival."

"You okay there?" Junpei asked, breaking you out of your realization. "Of course we learned about it. Aren't you Japanese?"

Pause. "Right," you slowly said, "I'm—yeah, of course. Orihime and Hikoboshi. Not Zhinu and Niulang."

"Hey...you sound more than a little confused. Are you sure you're okay?" Yukari asked. 

"I'm fine! Just...thinking, is all. Should we get a move on, before our Mitsuru-senpai loses patience?"

From where he was standing up ahead, Minato angled his head towards your group. And then the three of you met eyes, nodded, and followed him into the dark. 

---

Curled up with Minato on the couch, you forced your head into the crook of his neck to read his book as well. If your invasion of his personal space disrupted his reading in any way, you didn't let it show. Besides, it was some fancy book whose vocabulary barely registered in your mind; it wasn't your fault, obviously, because you weren't that familiar with Japanese. You still got second place right after Minato in exams anyways, so it was fine! Totally fine. You weren't petty about it. This was his second time taking these exams anyways. Not your fault.

"...re you listening? Hello?" You raised your head to see Junpei, looking a little peeved. "I called your name like five times, dude!"

"Oh, sorry, I was spacing out. What's up, Junpei?" Minato flipped a page. You were wounded that he was moving on with the book without you—nah, you actually thought it was really boring.

"I was thinking," Junpei began, taking a seat on the couch across from you, "you summoned your persona the other day and it wasn't Vega. It was...Ch-chan... I dunno, something with a C."

"Chang'e?" you supplied. 

"Yeah, that!" He leaned forward. "Why'd your persona suddenly change anyways? Actually, how'd you even know how to call her?"

Ah, the whole Chang'e business. "Well, it's sort of like...I knew, when I was about to summon her. It's hard to explain, but it's like you just know, sort of? Personas are weird like that."

"Okay, sort of like how I know how to call Hermes. What about why, then?"

"Why so curious?" Before Junpei could jump to explain himself, you waved him off. "It's okay, I don't mind sharing." Only you actually did, considering you were pretty sure your persona changed after your meeting with Igor in the Velvet Room. But Igor was another story, and it wasn't like you could tell Junpei about it anyways. You didn't even go beyond implications with Minato. 

"Well?" Junpei asked, and you scrambled to think of a reason. 

"Well," you said, and curled deeper into Minato's side, "it's a secret!" Good thing the whole shoujo manga business coincided with the Velvet Room business. Made for a handy smokescreen in this case, though you weren't too sure if it'd trick Minato as well.

Junpei mumbled something to himself, before his voice rose in pitch. "So Arisato made your persona change? That had to be one hell of a moment—wait, don't tell me you—"

"Shut up, Stupei!" Yukari barked as she walked by, shivering in mild disgust. "Don't ask them about that!" She obviously didn't want to hear a word of it.

"Okay, okay, jeez, Takeba." Junpei cleared his throat, although his tone of voice remained as smug as before. "So you two lovebirds have obviously gotten it on. I mean, personas changing? How come I've never heard of that?"

"It could be you," you told him, thinking of Chidori. "I mean, I'm not saying we did anything like what you're imagining, but I like to think your persona changes when something integral to your personality and inner self changes." Like the weight of the crushing guilt that forced you awake the past two nights, which Igor had indirectly forced upon you. And if you were following the same Greek allusions like the game proper had, it was almost like Igor assigned to you Atlas for a persona.

"Right," Junpei drawled, but had the good sense to change the topic before you clobbered him. "Anyways, I wanted to ask about the myth behind your persona."

That surprised you more than it should've. "Wait, really?"

"Wha—don't look so surprised! It's just that you know the story behind everyone's persona, so I was wondering about your new one." It caught you off guard, the sentiment behind his words. He was curious? Did that mean he cared about your persona, and by extension, you? Absentmindedly, you drew spirals into Minato's knee, who did not react. Bastard wasn't ticklish at all.

"Well, Chang'e...there's a lot of different tellings of it. But basically, there were ten suns in the sky, burning and drying up China. So Hou Yi the archer shot nine of them down, and was given an immortality pill as a reward. He loved his wife so much he couldn't bear to part with her, and gave it to her for safekeeping. Most versions say she was jealous and wanted to be immortal, so ate the pill and ran away to the moon, where she lives with an immortal bunny.

"The version I like the best, though, is that Hou Yi's jealous apprentice tried to force Chang'e into giving him the pill. In order to prevent him from eating it, she ate it herself and decided to live on the moon so she could still be close to Hou Yi. This version is a lot sweeter, I think."

Junpei only pondered on it for a moment. "Wow, you sure know everything."

"I try. Chang'e is one of those stories you hear all the time during Zhong Qiu Jie, so it's not exactly uncommon information."

"Wait, what'd you just say?" You furrowed your eyebrows, shooting Junpei an inquisitive look.

"Zhong Qiu Jie? You know, the mid-autumn festival?" 

"Like the Chinese one?" Junpei made a face. "You know, I never really asked, but were your parents Chinese or something?"

"Oh." You and your big mouth. "No, I'm just"—subtle, quiet sigh—"just interested in Chinese culture."

"Whatever floats your boat." Junpei got back up with a smirk. "Well, I won't interrupt your evening with your boyfriend. Just don't be too loud at night or anything. Some of us need to sleep."

You rolled your eyes and said, "sure thing, Junpei," just as Minato said, "see you." Junpei left with a wave and you squinted back at Minato's book, eyes following the kanji and hiragana. 

"Chang'e and Vega," came Minato's quiet voice. "Separated from their husbands."

"So you noticed," you replied, closing your eyes for a brief moment. "Orpheus, separated from his lover."

"Mm." When you leaned back to look at Minato's face, there was a nearly imperceivable smile lifting his lips. Before you could compliment his rare expression of joy, you noticed the bittersweet way his eyes curved instead, and held back your words, leaning back into his side.

"What a pair we make," you mumbled. 

In one of his rare moments of verbosity, Minato added, "do you regret it?"

Regret what? Trying to date someone doomed to die? Placing your trust in someone you both knew wouldn't last past March? Giving yourself away to what was going to be heartbreak on both your ends?

If only he knew how much more guilty than sad you were. 

"No," you instead said, hiding away those thoughts and bitter scraps, "no, I don't regret it at all."

He flipped a page. You finally understood what all those Japanese poets were rambling about in their haikus, about the fleeting nature of life and transience of human existence. What kind of person only understood something so integral to the human experience this late? You wanted to laugh, at yourself, at Igor, at Minato, who knew his fate, and still fulfilled his duty anyways, out of what? Love for his friends? The world? Martyr.

"But in any case," you continued, gripping the hem of your skirt tighter, "why do you sound so pessimistic? I would sooner fight every shadow in Tartarus than let anything happen to you. Promise. Chang'e has Mahamaon!" 

His quiet sigh seemed to rebrevate through your side, and you hated how resigned he sounded, like he was placating a kid with lies. He knew just as well as you did what it took to seal away Nyx, how neither of you could stop fate from marching onwards. Vega, only given one day a year to reunite with Altair. Chang'e, doomed to never see her husband again. Orpheus, always looking behind his shoulder just before exiting the Underworld. All of them, unable to cheat death and their separation.

"Really," you told him, and only after saying it out loud did you realize how much of a liar you sounded like.

A week or two later, on October 3rd, he brought you something wrapped in plastic. You took the item curiously from his hand, ripping open the wrapper. 

"A mooncake?" you asked, squinting at the Chinese characters. 

"For the mid-autumn festival," he clarified, and stood with his hands in his pockets as you held it up to the dorm lights to admire how intricate the design was. 

"You remembered!" you couldn't help but crow, latching onto his arm with your free one. "Wow, I didn't know they sold these here. By the way, do you know why we eat these mooncakes?"

When he didn't respond, you took the chance to dump more exposition on him. "When Hou Yi found out about his wife, he was sad and wanted to offer Chang'e her favorite fruits and pastries, like the moon cake. So...thank you for the offering." You broke off half to offer to him, shoving your half into your mouth once he took his.

He ate slowly, a lot more elegant compared to how you scarfed your part down. And then he met your eyes.

"I'm not Orpheus, and you're not Chang'e," he said. We're not bound by the mistakes of our personas, is what he didn't say.

This time he was the one lying. But it sounded a whole lot more genuine out of his mouth, and you could almost delude yourself into thinking, well, maybe this time was different. Maybe he wouldn't die. 

"But I wish you were Orpheus," you admitted, "and I was Eurydice." I wish you made it back alive and I was the one to stay behind.

He didn't have an answer for that.

Chapter Text

You dreamt with much less frequency than in the days following the sealing away of Nyx. It didn't mean a particularly memorable one didn't worm its way into your sleep, though.

"How are you doing?" Ryoji asked, leaning onto your desk as the teacher in the background droned on about one subject or another. You couldn't hear their words over Ryoji's. Even in your dreams the lecture was as inhumanely boring as always. Ryoji, in comparison, had some bright sunshine quality to his face. Maybe it was the open window and sunlight streaming in, ignoring the fact that the sun never quite hit the classroom that brightly.

"As good as I can be," you replied. The desks were a little too small for your adult body, and you were keenly aware of how you were a little too tall for your memories to accommodate. You hadn't grown all that much, but you found your knees knocking against the desk, hands stretching far across the width of the table.

"You look older." Ryoji didn't show any sign of noticing your internal turmoil. "It's a good look on you."

Because you always thought I'd die young? "If that's true, why doesn't Minato come visit in my dreams?"

Ryoji laughed and waved it off, grinning into the sunlight, eyes completely covered by the glare. "Maybe he's just shy. Maybe I really am something your mind made up so you wouldn't be bored at night."

"Well, if you're the real thing, tell him I'm waiting."

"I would if I could," he said, and his eyes fluttered to the side of the room. Yours followed his, alighting upon the entrance of the classroom.

"Is it about time for you to leave?"

"And you as well. Shall we?" You took his hand, walked out the classroom, and woke up tangled in your blankets. Your Ryoji dreams were spottier, and only came by once every couple of months on a Friday night. After meticulously going through your morning routine, you stumbled out your apartment to shove your way into the train station despite the huge crowd in the morning. You managed to snag a rare seat, and as you settled in, decided to respond to some texts.

-

yukari 💖 

How is Mitsuru anyways? She always responds to my texts so cordially...

Do you think she's busy?

You

no way!!! she probably just doesnt want u to worry

yukari 💖

I hope so...by the way, has Junpei texted you yet?

You

no

did smthing come up???

yukari 💖

You'll see

-

junpei 🍜

DID CHIDORI TXT U

THIS IS VRY IMPROTANT

IMPORTANT

You

no, why???

junpei 🍜

NOTHIGN

-

chidori 🎨

Junpei threw away my tablet pen.

Do you know where he keeps his valuables?

-

junpei 🍜

SHSE TXTING HYROU RIGH NOW ISNGT SHE

PLEAS E DONT TELL HENR WHNERE MY PLAYSTATION IS

You

i got ur back bro

-

You

hes hiding his ps4 behind his dirty clothes in the back of his closet

check behind the mustard yellow tshirt

chidori 🎨

Thank you. 

I'll make it up to you.

You

beat his ass!!!

-

junpei 🍜

I THOGUTH TI EAS JUST A NORMAL PEN

WITH NO IMNK

HOW WA SI SUPPOSE DTO KNOW ITS NOT LIKE THAT

You

i think ur gonna have to live without ur ps4 now

junpei 🍜

BRO

You

bro

-

Nijima Sae 💕

Are you busy tonight?

I'd like to grab dinner with you if that's alright.

You

of course! what time?

is your little sister coming?

Nijima Sae 💕

Six at the usual place is fine.

I can ask her.

You

see you there!! 💓💞 :)!!

Nijima Sae 💕

Of course.

-

yukari 💖

I think you made Junpei cry

Lol

You

its what he deserves

im sure chidori wont actually break his ps4 tho

yukari 💖

We'll have to see

You

oh its my stop ttyl!!

-

Work progressed as normal. You did pretty decent work, and it wasn't like Mitsuru would let anyone fire you, although you might have been overestimating her generosity towards an old friend. Mostly, you breezed through your assignments light on your feet, waiting to meet Nijima for dinner.

It was an ongoing thing from having her spill coffee on you while rushing to work. You managed to even meet Makoto during your unorthodox acquaintanceship-slash-friendship, who had a cordial relationship with you. Mostly, she made vague implications about not messing around with her sister. 

Really, since when had you come off so frivolous? Even if it didn't look it you still had someone—a figment of your imagination—waiting for you in your dreams. Two of them, technically, but only one of them you ever loved. 

By the time five rolled around, you said your due goodbyes to the coworkers you cared about and booked it. Admittedly, the only reason you liked bullet train sushi was seeing the little bullet train zip over with your order. Makoto commented on it once or twice, in a very polite manner, but you had explained to her how you took delight in such things and she had accepted your explanation, though did not seem to buy into it.

Nonetheless, the allure of bullet train sushi called for you. You swiped your card at the turnstiles, pushing your way into the throng of people getting off work just like you, and crashed into at least ten people each time the train started or stopped moving. 

Nijima was already there when you arrived, just a touch haggard from the crowded ride over. Makoto was waiting for her too, giving you a polite nod and smile of acknowledgement.

"It's so good to see you!" You offered your favorite prosecutor a bright grin, who offered a tight-lipped one in response. You weren't too sure yourself why she continued to bother inviting you out, considering you weren't exactly a paragon of charisma. 

"Was the ride over rough?" she asked as the three of you wandered inside to get seated in a booth.

"Oh, nah, I'm used to it." Makoto sat with her sister, and though you noticed the gap between them, you didn't say a word. You flipped through the options on the tablet, very seriously considering your options. "Oh, I hear there's a new transfer student at your school."

"Yes, there is. I'm afraid I haven't had the chance to get to know him, so I don't know very much."

"Do you want to?" Makoto spared a glance towards her sister, who was looking through the menu with you. 

"As the Student Council President, it is my duty to know about every student."

"That's a lot of students! Are you sure? Oh, can we get spicy tuna? I'm gonna place an order."

Nijima frowned as she pondered between spicy salmon and spicy tempura. "Your grades should come first. First impressions are important, but your classmates don't decide how you get into college."

"...yes, you're right." Makoto's voice quieted down a notch. Ah, good old fashioned tension.

"You really do work hard, though. It's good to have fun too! Like getting bullet train sushi. Is there anything you'd like to eat?"

"Oh, well, not especially. I think—" Nijima's phone rang, cutting your conversation short.

"Excuse me," she said. "I'm done choosing, however, so feel free to send in the order whenever you want." She accepted the call and stepped out of the booth, nodding and speaking something in low murmured tones. Makoto's shoulders slumped as soon as her sister was out of range and you sighed, smiling helplessly. 

"Go ahead. Mitsuru sent in my paycheck a while back, so I've got to burn off the money somehow."

"No, it's alright, I—"

"I insist. I just want to be the one taking the plates off the bullet train," you said, and after a few more exchanges, she relented. You and your experience with fighting over the bill. As you placed the orders and stared right at the conveyor belt, waiting for the train, you decided to address the one topic you had been skirting around.

Taking a sip of the green tea, you snatched up the edamame as soon as the bullet train was in sight. "So, did you and your sister get into a fight before I got here?"

"I..." She looked even more dejected. "...that's right."

You had to chew and swallow before you could begin dispensing your endless well of advice. "Your sister has some high standards, doesn't she? You and I both know she wants what's best for you, but sometimes people are often misled into the wrong conclusions. I'll try to talk to her about it, but I want you to know this isn't something you alone should be burdened with."

"...thanks." She smiled a bit. "So you can be serious sometimes."

"Only sometimes," you conceded. "I don't want to seem weird about it, but you're like a sister to me too, you know?"

Her expression grew colder and paler. "Like an in-law?"

"What?" You snatched up the various plates of sushi coming in, leaving Nijima's portion untouched. "No, your sister is great, but I don't think she's looking for a girlfriend right now."

"So you would date her."

"What?" you repeated. "Well, she is really cool. And pretty. But there's someone else I like right now."

Makoto didn't look too convinced. "More than my sister?"

Laughing nervously, you quickly downed your entire plate of spicy tuna rolls. "I don't think I like your sister in a romantic way in the first place."

"But you would."

"Are you concerned I'm not up to standard? Or do you not like..." Oh no, was she homophobic? Too caught up were you in the euphoria of SEES being such a supportive, close knit group that you lived in a world where LGBTQ rights were normalized.

She seemed to catch your implication, and horrifically waved her hand. "No, of course I'm not opposed to my sister dating another woman. It's..."

Seeing her struggle to explain, you smiled. "Don't worry, if I wanted to date her, I'd go through you first. Speaking of, when is she coming back? I'm starting to miss exchanging workplace stories now."

Makoto looked away in embarassment, even though you didn't particularly mind. "I'm sorry...she's been busy recently."

"No problem! I like hanging out with you." 

"Well...I guess that makes the both of us." Before you could interrogate her and figure out if she was being honest or just polite, Nijima stepped back in, looking a little ruffled but in control of her emotions. 

"I apologize for the wait. Have you sent in the orders yet?"

"Sure have! Here, I took the liberty of unloading your plates from the bullet train. You think they'll give us free matcha pudding again?"

"It's been that way the past few times. I don't see why they'd stop now."

"It's cause we're such good patrons," you told her, and then drew Nijima and her sister into polite conversation, taking care to never overstep your bounds. You didn't fancy yourself charismatic or professional enough to force your way into their relationship, and though you felt guilty over pushing it off like that, it was mostly assuaged by the knowledge that some day in the future there would be a resolution. Just not now.

At the end of the meal, after you used your previous life's skill to secure the check and pay for your bullet train sushi, the bullet train sped over one last time with matcha pudding.

"I bet they do it just because you get a kick out of seeing the bullet train," Makoto commented. "Here, I don't really like matcha."

"Oh, thanks!" You gladly devoured her portion as well. "Then I'll have to come back again to support their business."

"...I wouldn't mind coming again," Nijima said and stood. Makoto exited the booth after her sister. You followed behind too, finishing your anecdote from work. The two laughed at the right time, both quiet, polite ones. 

"I'll see you soon!" You waved the two of them off, and made your way to the train station, hooking in your earbuds. Flipping through a few songs in your playlist before settling on one you liked, you closed your eyes and waited for the announcement of your stop.

Maybe it really was time to get a car...nah, too much work. Well, you did have a license, but cars were expensive and parking was annoying. But wasn't it a waste of a license? And wouldn't it look cool pulling up to work in a fancy, bright blue Audi or something? But again, insurance and parking... You wrestled with your thoughts as you kicked off your shoes and set down your bag on the couch when a text from Nijima surprised you.

-

Nijima Sae 💕

Thanks for today. I needed the distraction.

You

anytime!!! 💕 i'm always here if you need someone to talk to

don't hesitate!!

Nijima Sae 💕

Thanks. I appreciate it.

-

Really, if you were actually ready to start dating again, Nijima would be your number one choice. Besides her character development arc, she had an endearing personality, if not a bit of a workaholic. You managed to roll into bed with a cheesy grin, which lasted all of about two minutes before the thought of Minato stilled your giddy thoughts.

Right. No sense in getting all worked up when it felt like betraying your ex. You had one of your rare dreamless nights, though maybe you would've felt less guilty had one of your dream versions of Minato come to admonish you.

The next day you were rinsing some cups and plates at LeBlanc when Ryuji stepped in, hunched over with his hands in his pockets. You directed a smile in his direction and wiped your hands on a towel, returning to the counter. Pretend you have no idea who he is, otherwise it'll be creepy.

"Can I help you?"

"What?" He whirled around. "O-oh, no, sorry. I'm waitin' for my friend."

"Kurusu? I don't think he's up yet. Why don't you go check on him?" 

"Nah, I can't do that. We're not that close." They hadn't cleared Kamoshida's palace yet, and it wasn't like you could speedrun a social link that fast. You gave him your most sympathetic look.

"He gets up very late, though, so if you have plans you should just go knock some sense into him." 

"Well...I guess..." He laughed a bit nervously. "Uh, thanks." He went upstairs and you returned to washing the dishes, ignoring the sound of someone tumbling out of bed and hitting the floor. Sure enough, Akira stumbled downstairs a few minutes later and into the bathroom to brush his teeth. 

"Coffee?" you asked, despite already having brewed two cups. You discreetly pushed the sugar in his direction as Ryuji approached, looking embarrassed. "I'll pay, don't worry. Kurusu needs more friends anyways."

"Thanks." He wasted no time dumping in plenty of sugar. Not like you could judge. Junpei used to always complain about how you brewed the best coffee but only ordered hot cocoa at Chagall. "So...you, uh, work part time here?"

"I do." Akira exited the bathroom and picked up his bag from the table, letting Morgana climb into it. "Oh, perfect timing. Coffee?"

"Thanks," he replied, and sat down next to Ryuji. "I can pay."

"What, you think I'll let a high schooler pay?" You shook your head jokingly. "You should just focus on having fun with your friend. Oh, I never did get your name."

"Sakamoto Ryuji," he supplied. "Thanks again for the coffee!" He drank the rest of his with one swallow, and turned to Akira. "C'mon, let's go."

Akira downed the rest of his coffee too and you took their cups, ready to begin washing dishes again. "Don't stay out too late," you called. Akira gave you a small nod and you returned to the sink, letting the water and soap wash away the coffee residue. With a twinge of nostalgia, you thought about how Ken was just around their age now. You'd have to check up on him sometime, even if you knew he was likely doing perfectly fine as a high schooler. 

Sojiro returned not too long later. "Is he out?" he asked.

"With a friend of his." Something like pride brightened up your face. "Haha, our kid is growing up. Already at the age where he's hanging out with his friends."

Sojiro rolled his eyes. "Who said I wanted a problem child like him as my kid?"

"You say that, but he's growing on you, right?"

He gave you a long stare. "Don't think that just because you're a longtime employee I won't hesitate to fire you."

You laughed gently at that anyways. "Won't forget it, Boss. How's Futaba?"

"...she's doing fine. She thanks you for the signed poster of the pink Featherman."

"Pink Argus," you admonished him. "And it's no problem."

"I appreciate it anyways." You spent the rest of your time exchanging slow conversation with Sojiro and serving the occasional customer. Akira returned at the end of your shift and you said your farewells on the way out. Another peaceful day had passed. 

The easygoing manner of your days was a small comfort, though it made you think of something else. "Celebrate life's grandeur, brilliance, and magnificence, huh?" you mumbled, beginning your walk down the street with slow, steady strides. And then you snorted. "Right, how could I forget the rest of that quote? The arcana is the means by which all is revealed..."

Chapter Text

You weren't quite sure when it started, but along the way there became this whole tradition of you walking home with Minato. On days he had club you'd hang around on the back to watch and cheer him on and on days you had club he'd wait in the back and read a book. 

Of course, Yukari and Junpei commented on this during your ventures into Tartarus. "A lot of girls in the archery club noticed you guys walking home together," Yukari began, though she spoke the softest in fear of attracting more shadows. "I think they're jealous."

"Huh?" You set your naginata down and summoned your persona instead. "Really? Is Arisato popular?"

Vega, in all her glory, sprang forth from your gunshot. She had on traditional Chinese clothing, a deep blue hanfu patterned with stars and a lighter blue sash. Her hair rested in a bun, and you had her use Dia on Minato as you continued your discussion with the others.

"I didn't think so either, but..." Yukari sighed. "Yeah, I guess he is."

"Well, Yukatan," Junpei began, "it's not just Arisato. I know a bunch of dudes who like our dear leader's girlfriend here."

You smacked his shoulder playfully. "We're not dating," you said, walking again to catch up to Minato, who had stopped a few feet ahead. "But, wow, I'm popular?"

"Of course you are. I think it's the transfer student charm. So obviously if you guys wanted to cancel out your admirers..." Junpei cackled. You went along with it, nodding vigorously.

"Good going, my man Junpei. Now I have the perfect excuse to start dating our leader." You tacked on a grin to your statement just to show how you were only joking around. Haha. Not like you wanted to actually date Minato, right? In fact, just to correlate with that, you looped your arm around Minato's. "What do you say? Care to nip our admirer problem in the bud before it becomes like Akihiko-senpai?"

He led you down the hallway, Junpei and Yukari following close behind, and didn't shake off your loose grip. "I don't mind if you want to."

Instantly, the endless possibilities of the fake dating trope filled your mind. But the concreteness of their final product—a real relationship—gave you pause and you swallowed. "No, that's okay," you slowly said. "But I'll keep that in mind. I just don't want to bother you. I might be one of those clingy significant others, you know?"

He affixed you with a quick glance. "I don't mind." And then without missing a beat he left to chase down a nearby shadow before it could turn around and catch sight of your group. You stood still and stared after him as Yukari and Junpei approached.

"So..." Junpei began. "Do I detect the hints of a blossoming relationship?"

"Holy shit," you replied, burying your head in your hands. "When did he get so smooth?"

"Smooth?" Junpei exclaimed. "You call that smooth? He just said the same thing twice!"

"Yeah, but he mastered the perfect delivery!" you argued. 

"Can we just catch up to him already?" Yukari asked with a sigh. "He's on his third shadow now."

"Already?" And yet there was no hint of the Monad gates last you checked. Did he really grind to a level that high without going through Monad? The thought made you shudder. What kind of hardcore martyr grinder... "Okay, let's go! Can't let Arisato steal the spotlight by himself."

"Well said!" Junpei pat your shoulder and the three of you moved on. Once you exited and began heading back, he murmured to you out of Minato's hearing range. "You know, if you actually liked him and actually wanted to get together..."

"Of course, the first person I'd go to is my best bro Junpei." You swung an arm around his shoulders and matched his pace, entering the dorms. "I know you have my back no matter how bad my taste in people is."

"What, you consider our leader bad in taste?"

"Of course not! He's like a deluxe six course meal at a fancy French restaurant." You coughed into a fist. "Not that I like him. I don't. Not in that way, at least."

"You're not making a very good case," Yukari said, face made up with exasperation. "You're lucky Arisato himself isn't here to hear this."

"I think he's tired." You yawned at that. "Oh, I am too. See you guys tomorrow? Let's all go to school together!"

"What? You take too long!" Junpei complained. "Last time I was almost late because of you!"

"I'll try harder! I thought we were bros. Would a bro really abandon his bro in his time of need?" You laughed anyways, though mentally you decided to set your alarm twenty minutes earlier.

"It's not like you care about attendance or grades, since you're always sleeping in class, Junpei," Yukari added. You grinned at Yukari.

"Thank you for taking my side. That's right, Junpei, who feeds you the answers during class?"

"Hey, I ask Arisato too!" Your conversation continued along the same train, as you waved to the seniors behind you before ascending the stairs with Yukari and Junpei. Despite all his complaints, you were sure he'd be waiting in the lounge the next morning.

And sure enough, he was. Minato too, which wasn't too much a surprise. He was starting to walk to school with you more often, despite all the hazards that followed. Like possibly being late.

"Wanna go to the Iwatodai strip mall after school?" you asked on the sky train. "I don't why, but I have this awful craving for ramen."

"Yeah, let's go! Why don't we have a bet and the loser pays?" Junpei, as always, wanted to find a way out of paying.

"Again, Junpei?" Yukari sighed. "But I'm up for it, as long as I don't have to pay for Junpei."

"I can pay," you said. "I've been going to part-time at Chagall recently and I may not look like it, but I'm no longer a working class kid anymore. I might even start rivaling Kirijo-senpai."

"See, Yukatan?" Junpei grinned. "We don't even need to bet if someone else has kindly agreed already."

"Are you really fine with that?" Yukari sounded concerned. "You know we can just split the bill, right? I'd feel bad if I made you pay for everything."

"I can pay." Minato, who rarely spoke, always commanded the attention of everyone around him once he did. 

Course, he was probably a multi-millionaire considering he was on a new game plus...but you didn't mention that. "No, it's okay, Arisato, I'll pay. Chivalry's not dead and all that, right?"

"What, so you're the guy trying to court him in this situation?" Junpei leaned back into the seats. "I mean, I don't care, as long as someone foots the bill."

"How selfish can you get?" Yukari huffed. 

"I'm only looking out for my wallet! And hey, I'm not forcing anyone to pay, so it's all good."

"Right, a bowl is only eight...hundred yuan?" You frowned at the thought. "Am I getting my units right? Eight hundred Japanese dollars are like eight US dollars?"

"Eight hundred yen," Junpei amended. "You sure you're Japanese?"

"I don't even know myself," you decided to admit. "Maybe I'm half Chinese?"

Junpei and Yukari seemed to stare a very long moment. Arisato did not. "Shit," Junpei finally said, "sorry. I didn't mean to bring up your...well..."

"Oh." Right, didn't you have dead parents in this world? Toriumi-sensei had commented on how coincidental it was that both transfer students had dead parents, before apologizing after she realized how insensitive it was, not like you minded. You didn't mind in your current situation either, but then again, a normal person probably would. "It's okay, I don't really remember them. Tell you what, let me buy you ramen and we'll call it even."

Yukari pressed a hand to her temple. "Isn't it normally the other way around?"

"What can I say?" You mentally tried to recall how much money you left shoved in your wallet. "I feel like we've known each other forever already." A hundred hours or more, at least according to the time you spent gaming, but that was probably too meta for them.

"Aw, I didn't know you liked us so much. Well, one of us more than the others." You dropped your smile at Junpei's words and stared at him blankly. All in good fun, of course, and hints of your mirth still slipped through anyways, so he wasn't actually too off-put by your reaction.

"Remember these words, Junpei," you said playfully. "I'll get you a girlfriend by the end of this year and then I'll be the one to repeatedly emphasize it."

"Are you really that confident you can get Junpei a date?" Yukari, as always, was the anti-Junpei voice of reason.

"Hey! I'll have you know I'm a great catch."

"I wouldn't have said it if I wasn't sure," you offered. Chidori, of course, would take a while to get there. And from then on, you'd be sure to remind Junpei to bring her flowers. And then you'd buy a bunch for her too, just like you'd have to start stalking the police station September to find that watch. "Junpei can't compare to our leader here, but at least he's earnest! I know someone will love that about him."

"If you're sure," Yukari said, ending the conversation. "Oh, it's our stop now. Let's go." Along the way to school you decided to start walking beside Minato instead, who was hunched over as always, listening to something with his eyes closed. You were far too concerned about him crashing into poles to actually pay attention to the aforementioned poles yourself, which meant you kept walking into them. Ah, good old irony.

"Oh good, we're not late," Junpei commented as the four of you arrived at the front gates. "I guess you really can do it if you try."

"Of course!" You marched off to class indignantly, the three of them following behind. "I never break a promise. Otherwise I'd really have to swallow a thousand needles."

"You still do pinky promises?" Junpei gave you a shit eating grin. "I thought kids grew out of that."

Crossing your arms, you opened the door to the classroom with your knee instead. Without letting your group properly admire your dexterity you sat down in your seat, waiting for them to settle in before you huffed. "Pinky promises are the absolute height of sincerity. Anytime I promise you something with my pinky I'm letting you know I'd swallow a needles and cut off my pinky if I don't do what I promised I would."

He raised an eyebrow. "Really? Then here, pinky promise me the girlfriend bit you said earlier."

"What, don't believe me? Here." You stuck out your pinky, but before Junpei could link his with yours the teacher stepped in and you instantly retracted your hand to become the image of attentive. As much as you wanted to reassure Junpei he'd get his girlfriend in due time, you were an incorrigible teacher's pet. 

After class, you walked with Minato to the student store to buy yourself some bread for lunch. Yukari and Junpei occasionally ate lunch with the two of you, but they weren't the new transfer students, so they had other friends to eat with. Though, really, while you blamed your status as a transfer student for not having any other friends to eat with, Minato had a whole crew of social links he was already bonding with.

Why did he hang out with you? You left for the rooftop with him, sat down, and neatly tore open the plastic packaging for your bread. "You know, I bet your friends would love to eat lunch with you." When he didn't say anything, you leapt to explain yourself. "Not that I don't want to eat lunch with you—I do—but isn't it boring eating lunch with me every day?"

"Not really." He took a bite of the bread he purchased and you very suddenly felt like it was your fault he wasn't eating a proper meal. 

"We should get up earlier to make lunch," you said. Of course, you had to make it very obvious you held no feelings but comraderie for him, because how awkward would that be? "Because we're very good friends so I want you to eat healthier. Out of friendly concern for you."

"That's fine." You finished your bread and stared closer at him, who remained unfazed. 

"You know," you said, "I didn't realize until now but you talk a lot more when it's just the two of us. Have I been excluding you from our normal group conversations? Oh no, I have, haven't I? I'm so sorry!"

He shook his head. "...no."

"Am I not inviting enough? Are the conversations not interesting enough?" Now that you had actually processed it, you were genuinely worried. What kind of person were you if you shoved the protagonist out of his original friend group? Was he going through some mental turmoil about losing his friends his second time around, hidden by his facial paralysis?

He shook his head again. "I prefer to listen."

You stopped, setting your hands down on your lap. "Are you sure? Takeba and Iori are your friends, not just mine."

"I don't mind." Well, at least he wasn't going "whatever" or "I don't care" like in the games. Actually, no, wasn't this his post-death personality? Man, talking to a dead man sure could be awkward sometimes.

"You better mind more," you finally said with a huff. "I swear, nothing makes you mad. You could give Siddhartha a run for his money." Lunch proceeded as normal after that. Normal being periods of silence, comfortable and uncomfortable, followed by your sudden outburst to which Minato would always reply. 

When school ended, you met with Minato's two good friends to skip to Iwatodai strip mall together, hand in hand—nah, you walked there like a group of normal high school students. Halfway through your bowl you heard the laughter of Junpei and Yukari. It didn't upset you, being out of the loop for once, because you were so magnanimous and generous you could stand seeing Minato have fun at your expense sometimes. It did make you think, however, about how you longed for these days to never end.

If it were your other life, you'd take as many pictures as you could. But you didn't have an iPhone with 128GB of storage now to snap endless pictures for the days without Minato, when SEES had long since scattered to the winds. What did people in the late 2000s do to keep their memories alive? Well, cameras still existed, right? There were cameras invented in 2009? Of course there were.

"Is there an electronic store nearby?" you asked, once the others' conversation had died down. "I want to get a camera."

"A camera?" Junpei set down his chopsticks. "Are you going to make a photography club or something?"

"Nope. I'm just a sentimental old lady." You finished your bowl of ramen and flashed your friends a toothy grin. "Maybe if my photography gets good I'll start getting blackmail for you guys."

"You know that's not gonna convince us to show you where to buy a camera, right?" Junpei sighed, but afterwards Yukari led you to a store and Junpei managed to haggle down the price a couple hundred yen, which was a feat you thought was only culturally acceptable in China. 

As you walked out with your spoils, you said as much to your companions. "I thought price bargaining wasn't really a thing," you said, squinting through the camera lens as you walked. Minato pulled you aside before you could bump into someone walking to your side.

"Wait, watch where you're going," Yukari quickly said. "Well, as for price bargaining, not in the way you might be thinking of. Junpei here just asked for discounts since this camera is an older model and played up how we as students don't have a lot of money. Don't bother doing it at department stores or anything."

"Seriously, where's the gratitude? I just saved you from going bankrupt."

"Thank you for protecting both my honor and wallet, Iori. I'll repay this debt with my blood."

"W-Well, just a thank you is fine." Junpei's expression looked a little worried. "Think of it as paying back the ramen you bought. No need to spill blood or anything, haha..."

"What, you think she seriously meant it?" Yukari sighed. 

"You never know!" The dorm was ahead, and Junpei and Yukari went in first, their argument going from how gullible you were to how gullible Junpei was. You took your chance to snap a photo of the two of them walking in. Forget a simple photo album, you could totally go the grandma route and paste together a few scrapbooks.

Remembering the official SEES leader beside you, you quickly turned around and held your camera up. "Here, let me get a candid of you to test out the specs of this camera." He obligingly held still while you took three photos and you shuffled next to him to pull up the photos. "Wow, this can't even come close to the three iPhone cameras," you mumbled. 

"iPhone?"

"I mean, this camera is cool, but I bet they'd have better ones in the future. In like ten years? Something like that. But as far as technology you can buy with a high schooler's part time salary, this is good." You exited the photo gallery and gently let the camera hang from the strap around your neck again. "Are you any good at taking photos, Arisato? I need someone to take pictures of me posing in front of shadows, but I feel like Sanada-senpai and Kirijo-senpai are the types who take blurry photos..."

"Maybe." You followed him in the dorm, and he walked you up the stairs as you demonstrated what sort of poses you'd make with the Tartarus shadows. There were worse things to be thinking about than how to get the most bang for buck with shadow selfies, and the topic at least kept your mind off such throughout the night.

Chapter Text

All in all, news of Kamoshida spread relatively fast. Being just a normal part timer with a flimsy connection to the leader of the Phantom Thieves, you simply waited for the whole thing to end. It also meant you kept Ryuji and Ann on edge whenever they came over to LeBlanc during your shift. Things like showing an interest in the Phantom Thieves, questioning the occasional slip up in their terminology usage courtesy of Ryuji, and wondering where the three of them went out loud. Out of SEES, the Investigation Team, and the Phantom Thieves, of course SEES was the most professional. You never saw any of your teammates accidentally flashing a gun or talking about the dark hour loudly. 

At least you were practicing your oblivious act around them. It was tough not reacting to Morgana, considering how many damn times the cat would chime in with something and you had to struggle to remember what it was you were supposed to be responding to.

"You guys don't come around as often anymore," you commented, carrying over their orders. It was a Sunday at the end of April, with less than a week left for Kamoshida's deadline, if you were getting your dates right. 

"Oh, we're just takin' a break," Ryuji commented. 

"Ryuji!" Ann hissed. 

"What? I didn't say anything!"

How blind of an eye were you supposed to turn to their constant suspicious behaviour? "Taking a break from studying, right?" You hugged the tray to your chest, after setting the final cup down. "You guys are such good students. I never put in that much effort."

"O-Of course!" Ann was quick to jump onto your excuse. "Since Ryuji's grades aren't that good, we're—Kurusu and I—tutoring Ryuji. But you said you didn't study much? Please, tell us more!" She certainly was quick to change the subject, although she often came across just as suspicious as Ryuji, if not more so. 

"Oh, yeah, I paid attention in class but I rarely studied for tests. I probably should've put in more effort, which is why I'm so glad you guys are putting effort into your grades! You are, aren't you?" Ryuji and Ann had awkward smiles on their face, but at least Akira had a perfectly solid poker face. 

"We are," he said, pushing up his glasses. 

"For sure!" Ryuji chimed in. "By the way, how did you do for midterms and finals in that case?" 

"It's a little embarrassing to admit it," you began, ready to begin hyping up your score. Hey, if it was just occasionally it was fine to mess with them, right? "I used to be so upset at myself."

"We won't laugh or anything!" Ryuji insisted, ready to receive a fellow comrade. Ann, on the other hand, kept up with her hesitant optimism. 

"I'm sure it wasn't that bad!" You sighed hopelessly, crading your cheek in your palm.

"I kept getting second place..." You shook your head. "It was a devastating blow to my pride." Of course, you left out how the guy in first place always bought you snacks and dinner after results were posted, almost as if you were the one to get first place. 

The school year after he died you took first place on the first exam, and on every exam after that. Despite getting first place for the first time, it felt lonely seeing your name first place and some stranger's for second. You didn't express all that to your captive audience, of course, and let the memory of it slip between your fingers and out of reach.

"Second place?" Ryuji exclaimed. "Second place is amazing! I dunno why you made it sound like you were dead last or something!"

"Second place is impressive," Akira added, before taking a sip of his coffee.

"Aw, thanks." They left after a while, no doubt to continue working on the palace, and you tidied up and left after Sojiro came back. For dinner, you snatched up a few ingredients on sale and decided to flex your adult skills for once, chatting with Fuuka over a call while you diced vegetables to toss into fried rice.

Fuuka was busy recounting anecdotes from her current job which she was satisfied with. "Right now, I believe my company entered a temporary contract with Mitsuru-senpai's to develop some software. It's amazing how she's still involved in just about everything."

"That's our senpai for you!" You whipped your eggs and poured it into your favorite nonstick pan. With a pair of chopsticks you stirred it up. "I'm still kind of scared she's going to fire me one day for taking advantage of our relationship."

"No way!" You could hear her getting flustered over the phone. "You do amazing work no matter what role you take and Mitsuru-senpai isn't that type of person. I'm sure you have nothing to be worried about."

"Thanks, Fuuka." You dumped your fried rice onto your eggs. 

"By the way, what are you making?"

"Oh, omurice." You finished the dish and went looking around for a clean plate from the drying rack. "Eggs were on sale, so I went and snatched a pack." Good thing you were a responsible, mature adult who consistently did the dishes. Even if Japanese apartments didn't have dishwashers, you still had it in you to drag yourself to the sink after dinner.

Fuuka hummed to herself. "Didn't Aragaki-senpai teach you?"

You grabbed more plates for the rest of your side dishes. "Yeah, I begged him so I could make it for Ken." Lightheartedly, you teased Fuuka. "It's been almost six years, but you're still adding senpai to their names?"

"It just feels...weird not to," Fuuka admitted. "It might sound silly, but some days I still feel like I'm still in high school."

That might've been one of the hottest takes from Fuuka you had heard in a while. "Yeah...me too," you admitted, but before your voice could dip into dangerously sad levels, you quickly said, "but I gotta eat dinner, so let's call later?"

"O-oh, then I'll let you eat dinner. Bye!" You said your goodbyes and dug into your meal. It was pretty good, but nothing close to Shinjiro's cooking. Each bite you took felt colder than the last, even as you saw wisps of steam rise from whatever your chopsticks picked up.

Otherwise, the rest of the week went by without much fanfare. What really mattered was on the seventh you made sure your evoker was still in your bag, double checked to be certain you didn't have a shift at LeBlanc, and stumbled your way into Shibuya station, hoping for a glimpse of the Phantom Thieves. Sure enough, you caught sight of Ann and Ryuji's bright hair in a crowd full of darker hair colors.

The thrill of it all made you feel like you were heading off to Tartarus again. Nervous, but excited, with an insistent pounding in your chest. You held your purse tighter, knowing you had your evoker, if nothing else, with you. And when Ryuji stumbled to his feet in the distance you turned away but drew close, praying for the outcome you were so dependant on. Your hair was tied up and you had put in the old hairpins, and you turned away as you finally reached a suitable distance close to them. Neither of them noticed you, and before you had to stop walking and risk drawing suspicion, a thick sense of something like dread weighed down your body. You felt equal parts heavy and light, in a dizzying fashion, and before they could notice you ducked back behind the corner. The bustling crowded noise faded in your ears, though accompanied by a brief ringing noise. Sort of like tinnitus.

Of course, you could recognize where you were. Mementos. You reached inside your bag and gripped your evoker. As you stood, you felt impossibly light, though the extreme dizziness from before had faded. Since you hadn't received the MetaNav and you didn't feel confident enough to join them in actual palaces, this was the closest thing you could get. You peeked back around the corner to see the trio run downstairs, and it was only then you stepped back out, drawing your evoker out.

What once felt light in your hands now felt like dead weight. Probably not a good psychological sign. You turned it over in your hands, running your fingers across the small scratches marring the otherwise perfect finish on it. Besides the risks and dangers of heading into battle again for the first time in years, you couldn't help but long for it anyways. The days when you could waltz into Tartarus were your happiest ones, having the thrill of feeling Chang'e at your back and SEES at your side.

You raised the evoker to your head and breathed in. "Persona," you whispered, just as everyone did, and pulled the trigger. You felt the same phantom spike in your head and the nonstop palpitations in your chest, but what followed was nothing but absence. 

When the hand holding your evoker fell and you whirled around, your persona didn't greet you. Nothing but the silent halls and dead silence.

"Chang'e?" you whispered, too scared to speak loud enough for the Phantom Thieves to hear. Nothing. You raised the evoker again, fired another silent shot, and nothing greeted your ears but your ragged breathing. That was probably when you fell to your knees and cradled your evoker close to your chest, eyes landing on the ground.

The sudden realization that you couldn't summon your persona made your blood run cold. It was like a giant hole had opened up in your chest from the absence of what was supposed to be part of yourself. You picked yourself back up and leaned against the wall, holding your evoker with a deep sense of guilt. Guilt and betrayal, to be specific. 

It made no sense for your persona to suddenly be gone. Was it because it was Mementos and not Tartarus? The thought gave you temporary solace, but that too quickly faded. Before, no matter how faint, you could still feel the presence of Vega and Chang'e in your mind. You could feel there was nothing left of that, now that you were aware of it. You almost wanted to cry, but instead you held your evoker tighter and walked down the stairs to Mementos proper below. The Phantom Thieves had likely since left, so you took your time walking down, wincing when your footsteps rang a little too loud.

Beneath, the web of black and red covering the walls only made you nostalgic. At least it wasn't painful to look at like that one psychedelic series of floors back in Tartarus. You cautiously stepped around, making sure you looked both ways every couple of steps. You couldn't exactly leave Mementos yourself, but you had too much pride to go crying and looking around for Akira to bail you out, so you had to pray your evoker could still function as a proper gun. You snorted, remembering that the Phantom Thieves only used fake guns. Back in your day, you had to buy real weapons from the local policeman.

You stepped onto the train tracks, seeing no sign of shadows. Even so, you held your evoker closer, praying against all odds that maybe Chang'e was still there and would show up once you were properly in mortal danger. It was unlikely, but the only hope you had left, if you didn't want to be mauled alive.

You almost wanted to cry. Why am I, the best healer-dps combo in SEES, in such a near-death situation? Especially when I've got more experience than all the Phantom Thieves combined! Now, maybe if you had the good sense to bring your naginata along you wouldn't be so worried, but no, bringing a duffel bag was far too suspicious. When you caught sight of a hideous collection of mask-looking faces plastered onto a vaguely humanoid black mass. You backtracked immediately, but the shadow caught sight of you and began advancing.

"Shit, shit, shit—" you backed away, but the shadow only picked up the pace and you broke into a sprint, just as the shadow began pursuing you. Of course, you ran right into a dead end and realized just how fucked your luck was, leading you into a death trap this soon. You desperately prayed Mitsuru would give you a great funeral and bury you next to Minato before you raised your evoker. 

Since you weren't a coward, you decided that if you had to die, you'd at least go down tooth and nail. You took aim at the shadow and jerked your finger down on the trigger. Luckily, the evoker did fire, and the recoil jolted your hand a bit. You stared at the gun, and cold sweat seemed to pour down your temples when you realized that you had pointed that to your own forehead a while prior.

The shadow swiped at you, but you at least kept your body fit even if the dark hour was gone, and barely managed to dodge it. You fired again, three shots this time, though only two hit. Right, you never bothered with gun training because you never used the gun for actually hitting targets. You shot again and scrambled to find a weapon to fight with. Even a stick was fine, since it was highly unlikely you'd find a naginata lying around. But of course, unless you were strong enough to pry the metal from the train tracks, you had nothing but the evoker.

The shadow growled and swiped at you again. This time, you couldn't avoid being hit, and you fell to the ground before pushing yourself back up. Would the aspirin in your bag heal you? Probably not. You grimaced at the pain in your leg, but it didn't feel like anything broke. This time, you took aim at the shadow's head and prayed it would land.

It sure did, but the shadow didn't die. When it reached out again you could only ready yourself to roll out of the way once more, only for a whip to lash out. The shadow crumbled as Ann rushed to your side, before gaping at your figure in shock.

"H-Huh? What are you doing here? Wait, are you hurt? Mona, can you use that healing spell?"

"Sure thing, Lady Ann!" Morgana used Dia on you. What was so good about Morgana's Dia? You used to have Diarahan and Mediarahan before Chang'e up and disappeared. You still hadn't gotten over your missing persona, whose absence still rankled. God, you missed her dearly.

Bu now was not the time to be picking at your wounds, and you tested out your formerly-injured leg. Morgana had it mostly healed up, so you settled back into a more comfortable stance, letting the hand holding your evoker fall back to your side. "So...Takamaki, right?" You turned to Ryuji and Akira who had caught up behind them. "And you two are Sakamoto and Kurusu?"

"How did you guess so fast?" Ryuji exclaimed. "Don't these masks do anything?"

Laughing quietly to yourself, you added, "well, I also did see you guys earlier. That's why I found myself in...wherever this is." In front of you, the Phantom Thieves shared a glance. 

"H-Hey, should we just tell her?" Ann was the first to speak. "It's not like we can just brush it all off, right?"

"If it's about whatever all this is, I would like an explanation," you clearly stated, before they could get into a conversation on what to do with you without you. "I can handle myself, and I can assure you I won't let your secret slip." You flipped over your gun, holding it handle out for the four to see. "This isn't a real gun, of course, but I can apparently use it here."

Ann looked to Akira, who finally nodded. She turned back. "Here, why don't we go back to the real world for now, and we'll explain what's going on?"

"Oh, of course. Sorry, I didn't mean to distract you from...whatever you were doing." You turned to Morgana. "If you guys are Sakamoto, Kurusu, and Takamaki, then you're...Kurusu's cat, Morgana?"

"What, you can guess who I am too?" Morgana jumped in surprise. "Hey, Joker, what kind of part-timer did you get to know?"

"Hm?" You feigned ignorance. "It's not that hard to guess, though? You still look like a cat, and I always see you in Kurusu's schoolbag."

"Seriously," Ann quickly said, "can we get out of here first? I don't want to risk having another one of those things pop out. We can just come back next time!"

Afterwards, you awkwardly led them to your apartment, rifling through the cabinets for some tea. Preferably something mild. Now that you thought about it, you had some chamomile somewhere you got after thinking too hard about Dimitri Fire Emblem. You steeped a few flowers in your second best tea set, and carried it to the coffee table for the Phantom Thieves, who were in quiet discussion.

"I don't think cats can have chamomile tea, so here's the sashimi takeout I was going to eat for dinner." You set it down and took a seat beside them, picking up your own teacup to sip. "So what's the whole deal?"

You sat through their explanation of the Metaverse, Palaces, and personas. You didn't react much, only nodding and adding the occasional words of affirmation. Not on purpose, you only realized how weird it was after Ryuji commented on it. 

"Oh, believe me, I am losing my mind right now," you said, despite not being anywhere close to that. "I'll have to process this later, but for now... If you're the Phantom Thieves, I don't mind helping out when I can. I may not look like it, but I do have a well paying job outside of LeBlanc." They had exchanged more looks, like they needed to discuss it when you weren't around. After exchanging numbers, you ushered them out to go home and eat dinner, before you ordered more takeout and thought long and hard about what to do from now on, before giving up. Thinking too hard wasn't like you! Better just get a good night's sleep.

That night, you dreamt of Minato for the first time in a while. He sat with you in one of the booths at LeBlanc, and you gave him a funny look.

"It's been a while since I saw you," you said, and his face seemed strangely cold. "Are you not going to say anything this time too?" Most dreams of him were like that. Instead, this time his hand snaked out and grabbed your wrist.

"Why did you leave me to die?' he asked instead, and your mouth went sour.

"Couldn't you have waited for a better time? Maybe when Chang'e comes back?" You tried to wrestle your wrist away from him, but his grip was ironclad. "I mean, normally I'm all up for the guilt tripping, when am I not, but you're really kind of scaring me with that expression, you know..."

"I'm dead, aren't I? I can't choose when or where you dream of me." He smiled, but it was a terrible look on him, this fake smile of his, and you tried to imitate the expression he had, but your smile was only desperate. Even if it was a dream the cold sweat beading at your temples felt real as could be. When you tried to pull away from him once more his fingers only closed in tighter, and you let your arms go slack.

"I'm sorry," you said, having nothing else to fall back onto. "I'm so sorry."

"Your apology won't bring me back to life." This time, he let go of your wrist to cup your cheeks with bony fingers, and as he forced you to stare into his eyes his skin seemed to melt away, until all that met your eyes were hollow eye sockets and a rattling skull. "Memento mori. Remember this: you will die."

You woke up clammy with sweat, panting. It was already growing light outside, but you couldn't be bothered with checking the time. Slowly, you curled into yourself, pressing your knees to your chest. And though you tried to stem the tide of tears by wiping away the wetness from your eyes, you couldn't stop crying long after your alarm rang.

Chapter Text

"Have you seen a red pen anywhere?" You very seriously knelt in front of Koromaru, cupped hands held out. Koromaru barked in the affirmative and scampered off to gently tug on the pant leg of...Minato. When you looked closer, he held something in his hand—something like a red pen.

It took a moment, but you completely had it figured out. It was Sunday. Minato already had a red pen from Koromaru. You took it slowly, approaching with a sort of serenity you didn't think you had. "Okay, now give it." When he didn't, you lunged, and he let you flop onto the ground with a quick sidestep.

"Are you guys seriously fighting over a pen?" Yukari sighed from her seat on the couch. 

Crawling to your feet, you made one last half-hearted swipe towards the pen. "Aw, but I want this one specifically." As expected, he completely avoided your attack and you let your hand droop. In this case, it was his victory, but not for long. You knew exactly where he was going and he couldn't stop you. "What a fine Sunday, dear leader. Come on, let's go to the shrine together."

He stared at you, and for a moment you were nearly certain he was about to turn you down, but then he held out his free hand, the one that wasn't holding the pen. You weren't about to turn down both a chance to hold his hand and see your boy. The moment you placed your hand in his he left, taking the familiar path to the shrine, at a pace you could easily walk side by side with.

You were convinced, by a momentary spirit of recklessness, to ask if he thought Akinari would mind. But that would be an admission of the truth (that you knew about the future) and your guilt (that you were going to watch him die without doing anything), so you only gave him a look. You were doing that more nowadays. Junpei called it your lovelorn glances, but you knew better. It was the same glance you gave him every night before a full moon, as if to ask him if that was what he really wanted. If he really wanted to find an excuse to call off killing the full moon shadows he could, and if he really wanted to stay alive there had to be a better way than to relive the same slow death.

"Wow, it's surprisingly sunny," was what you said, and you squinted up at the sky. "Doesn't feel like winter at all."

"Not every day in winter is cold." He spared you a glance, as if gauging your feelings from one sweep of his eyes.

"Never could've guessed." It was a little strange, how warm his hands were. You were almost expecting an ice-cold grip, but ironically it was your hands that were freezing. 

He pursed his lips, as if trying to think of a better phrasing for it. Couldn't stand being made fun of, maybe. "Just because something is sad doesn't mean there's no happiness to be found."

That was more words than everything he said yesterday put together. Still, with the person you were both walking towards in mind, you could understand a little of his sentiments. You buried your face in your scarf, even though the sun beat overhead with a menacing glare. "Is that your way of comforting me?" you asked with a teasing tone. "If so, thanks."

He inclined his head once, and you arrived at the shrine moments later. He offered Akinari the pen, you introduced yourself as a friend, and that part of you which you kept hidden from both the world and yourself thought, will I even be sad when he dies? You watched him cough out half a lung with the eyes of someone watching a play, and only when you realized how numb you felt towards him did you finally grow a look of abject horror. If the dying young man in question took a closer look, he'd realize your look wasn't directed at him, but he kept smiling, eyes closed tight, as if he didn't want to see.

When you walked back with Minato in the evening, you quietly said, "let's go every Sunday. Please?"

"I was planning on it." And he was true to his word. Every Sunday he waited for you in the lounge, before the two of you left for the shrine. The way he went every single Sunday made you a lot more worried, and at some point you had tugged on his arm after he stepped out. 

"Wait, wait," you said, "shouldn't we, uh, spread it out? Visiting him, I mean. Like, every other week? Wouldn't want to, ah, bore him with our presence. Haha." Mostly, you didn't want to drive him to an early grave. The thought made you want to curl into a ball and groan. Since when had you decided to get into playing god?

Minato, bless his blase, immovable soul, seemed to look past the idiocy of your improvised words to the truth of the matter. "I haven't been bringing any relevant personas."

"What do you mean you haven't been—ah." Normally, you'd lecture him in the most roundabout way possible about always having the proper persona for each social link, but it was completely understandable. Still, you felt a great swell of affection for him in that moment and you reached up on tiptoes to ruffle his hair. "Aw, I always knew you were a big softie!" He let you muss up his hair in your cheerful manner, walking you over to the couch where Yukari and Junpei sat so he could sit too.

"Seriously." Junpei pretended to gag. "All this PDA is making me sick."

"I believe I was doing that to you a few days ago, Junpei," you casually replied, untangling your arms from Minato. "What, are we a thing now?"

"Of course not! That'd be like dating your sister!"

You casually examined your nails, grinning all the while. "So your earlier point?"

"Give it up, Junpei," Yukari said. "You're never going to win an argument."

"And how can you be so sure? Last time all she said was 'your mom sucks me long and hard through my jorts' and you accepted that as her win!"

Yukari crossed her arms. "Considering your mental maturity, of course the only quip that would work is that kind of response."

"See?" You stuck your tongue out childishly. You kept at it, chatting with Yukari and Junpei, but a corner in the back of your mind couldn't stop thinking about Akinari. When it came to Shinjiro and Chidori, there was still a good chance you could save them. It was like that in Portable. But what could foreknowledge do against a genetic disease? He'd die even without the completion of his social link, but completing his social link set his death date. 

What could you do against the inevitability of death? What could Orpheus do to save Eurydice? Jack shit. 

"Are you okay?" Minato's voice, quiet as ever, drew you out of your pity session. 

"Perfectly fine. I was just...thinking." Yukari and Junpei were still squabbling over something, as Fuuka came over to act as intermediary. "What if there was someone I really, really liked, but I know they're going to...go away, for a long time?" You were far too careful to outright say die.

He contemplated that. Fuuka said something about coming to an agreement while Yukari and Junpei refused. "Then you spend the most of your time with them."

"Even if it's just a year? A few months?" You kept your expression as reigned back as you could. It wasn't like you were close enough to share your true heartfelt emotions. You needed a couple more near-death experiences for that. Instead, you gave him the abridged version of your anguish. 

"Then you can make the most of it."

Even if I'm going to watch you die? "You really think so?"

He closed his eyes and nodded once. "Kamiki?" Kamiki, Kamiki...ah, Akinari. You had forgotten which was his first name and which was his last.

"...of course." You put on a grand smile anyways, to your audience of one, to the one person who knew you were lying. "Who else would I be thinking of?"

"And what are you guys talking about?" Junpei leered. "Couldn't be anything inappropriate, right?"

"Seriously, Junpei? Why is it you always make everything about them into an accusation?"

"Hey!" Junpei made a self-righteous expression. "I'll have you know I'm doing what any true friend would do: play wingman. And what contributions have you made?"

"Let them figure it out themselves!" Yukari coughed discreetly. "I mean, only if you two feel that way. I'm not trying to pressure you guys into dating or anything."

"Right!" Fuuka quickly added. "I can assure you none of us have that intention."

It took you a moment. "Wait, are you implying something I should know about?"

"Nothing of the sort!" Fuuka quickly said. "Please don't misunderstand, none of us would push our views on you."

"Uh...that kind of sounds like there is a prevalent view." You gave Minato an awkward chuckle, just to show you weren't a part of whatever this was. "Like...I'm pretty sure there's something you guys aren't telling me?"

Yukari sighed. "There's really no point in trying to hide it. Junpei here mentioned to the seniors—"

"Whoa, don't pin the blame on me!"

"But she's not wrong." Fuuka gave him a pointed, but not so threatening look. "You were the one to bring it up."

"So what if I was? You guys—"

"Just let me finish!" Yukari turned away from Junpei and gave you an apologetic look. "So, long story short, Junpei here said something about how you guys should be a thing, so now everyone thinks...you know..."

To preserve a little of your dignity, you said, "well, everyone knew but me. And probably Arisato. Arisato?"

He shook his head. Sure enough, he didn't know either. Soon you realized the implication behind the implication—that either one or both of you had a crush on the other—and Minato had a poker face to rival Lady Gaga's, so he was out of the question. And then it was like the spirit of an embarrassed sixth grader had taken over your body, because all of a sudden you felt the great need to explain yourself.

"Well, what a surprise! Completely! I didn't know you guys thought that way!" You patted Minato's shoulder robotically. "But of course, it's not like I have a crush on him! I don't. I don't? Of course I don't!" In hindsight, the only flaw in your otherwise perfect acting was that you were completely unable to stave off the fierce claws of how adolescents behave towards their crushes. Not. Because you didn't have a crush on him. It was a friend crush! Nothing romantic there.

"You're really not fooling any of us..." Yukari said.

"Nonsense! There is nothing to fool. You guys with." You felt your smile go wooden. "Um. Well. Nice talking with you. As friends. We're friends." As much as you wanted to leave and stumble to your room, it would be conceding to the crowd of vultures hovering beside you. You did not, in no way, shape, or form, have any sort of feelings for your fellow teammate. Unthinkable. 

Junpei, on the other hand, had a lot more to say than you did. "You're kidding me! Even Sanada-senpai—no offense—can see how obvious you are!"

You buried your face in your hands. "I have no idea what you're talking about." It felt like just a moment ago you were talented enough at acting to be featured in Act-Age, but now you couldn't even get your face looking the right away.

"Okay, enough of that, Junpei. If she doesn't want to say anything, don't force her to." Yukari seemed to realize the whole implications of everything that had happened so far a little too late. "Uh...Arisato...if you'd like, feel free to forget all this ever happened."

"We were just talking about how we're great friends," you quickly said, turning to Minato almost desperately. "Right?"

"Right." He nodded. You nodded, and then decided your work here was done and it was best to leave before you could let anything else slip. It was amazing how you managed to make it into your room before you flopped onto your bed and let everything settle in. Did you like him? No, no way. Wasn't that what shoujo manga heroines said? No, but you weren't like the other girls. You were worse.

It was almost easy to forget, when you lost yourself in adolescent problems like crushes and love, that not every story had a happy ending. Guilt stacks, not unlike a few ounces upon the shoulders. It's easy to forget when you lie down, or lean back, but once you remember the weight thrust upon yourself it never quite leaves.

All this to say that the matter of Akinari dying had slipped so thoroughly from your mind you were completely unprepared for the day. It was months later, long past the beginning of your, ah, dating, and you had let yourself rely too much on Minato's words. By believing so wholeheartedly in his assurances, you had absolved yourself of all responsibility. In reality, you knew just as well as he did that Akinari would die one day. But you let yourself forget.

He passed over his notebook in the morning sunlight. For a moment you accepted the action naturally, without remembering just what it meant—and then it hit you. The final item given at the end of a social link. And once his social link was complete, then...

"I wasn't quite sure who to give this to," he said, smile still present on his face, "but you two seem close, so I'm sure you'll figure something out. I'd be pleased with the outcome no matter what."

"You're not going to publish it?" You stepped forwards, letting Minato gently hold the notebook. 

He shook his head. "No, I have no interest in that. You can, if you'd like. I don't mind either way." You couldn't think of anything else to say, even as you struggled to find words to let out, anything to keep him from leaving. If this was heartbreak, you couldn't bear it a second longer. The thought that this might be the last time you'd see him forced something you had long since locked away to well up in your chest, like ocean tides that couldn't be suppressed.

Minato stepped forward and used his free hand to place on your head, stopping you in your tracks. "I'm sure we'll meet again."

"I hope we do," he said, and with a final smile disappeared into the light. Even if Akinari didn't realize the meaning behind Minato's words, you did. How could you not? He, too, was destined to die within the next few months and you'd never see him again. Simple as that.

The bitterness you felt, knowing for a fact that someone you had grown so attached to was gone forever, manifested in the prickling behind your eyes. Though you tried to hold in it, it really was inevitable you'd burst into a fit of silent tears. You crouched down where you stood, hiding your face behind your sweater sleeves, and wished, not for the first time, you didn't exist. Not here, at least, in a world where these deaths were unpreventable.

Minato crouched down beside you, and though silent, kept a hand on your back until your tears gradually tapered off. You took his hand and let him pull you up, and he began walking you back to the dormitory. 

"I really miss him," you choked out, and despite having been tuckered out from crying your heart out, you found there was still room for more crying. You pushed that feeling back.

"Mm." He acknowledged your words, but said something. You tried again.

"I really, really miss him." You stopped and took his other hand in yours. "And I really, really miss..." You.

He let you stand there with him, even as the sky darkened, before he began walking again. "We'll meet again," he said, but you didn't even know who he was referring to. You suspected he was keeping it ambiguous for your sake, though just a part of you thought; ah, maybe he means he and Akinari will meet on March 5th. That wasn't much of a comfort.

"And where have you been?" Akihiko asked, before his expression morphed into one of concern. "Wait, have you been crying? Sh-should I get Takeba?"

After you quickly pressed your fingers to your eyes (wow, were they that swollen?) you shook your head. "No, it's okay. I'll be fine, I was just..." Devastated by Akinari's death. Guilty over Minato's upcoming one, one you've known all along, one you've played along with, killing shadows and avoiding thoughts of, and maybe when it comes down to it his blood will be on your hands, so how can you be fine? "I'll be fine after I eat something!"

"You didn't get dumped, did you?" Mitsuru shot him a death glare. Akihiko turned a few shades paler and fumbled with his words. "I mean, of course not! What do you want to eat? I'll treat you, so cheer up. Please." Or Mitsuru would freeze him with Bufu, probably.

"Oh, I'll just go to wherever's still open and get something random." You ducked your head and laughed sheepishly, letting your hand slip out of Minato's. His hands were always so warm, but it was about time you learned to stop clinging to him so much. 

Instead of letting you walk off and get dinner yourself, he held your hand again. "I'll pay." And maybe you constantly thought of him as having a completely blank face, but you swore the earnest look in his eyes then even got through your thick skull. Oh, what the hell, I really love him, you couldn't help but think. Though he probably wanted to get you to feel better, it ended up being the opposite of the intended effect.

"Wha—you made her cry again!" Junpei called. "Seriously, did you break up with her?"

"Don't be so insensitive! B-but really, are you okay? Do you need anything?"

"If you want to talk about it," Ken added, "I'm here for you." Leave it to him to have the most mature reaction out of all of them.

Though you didn't voice it, you almost did wish he broke up with you. It'd make the future much more bearable if he hated you, instead of the relationship you had now.

"Nah!" you shouted back in reply, and on impulse you laced your fingers together with his. "We're engaged! Wanna line up and give me some wedding presents?"

"Yeah, right, you're still second years. Of course not." Junpei stopped. "You're not engaged, right? It's hasn't even been a year since you met!"

"Don't be ridiculous, of course it's just a joke." Yukari, too, paused. "Right?"

"You'll have to wait and see if there's a wedding then." You leaned into Minato's side, held his hand tighter, and he didn't say a thing about your shaking hands or the guilt hiding behind your smile, surfacing when you thought no one was looking.

Chapter Text

"Is everything okay?" You stopped wiping cups and jerked your head up to see Akira, shooting you an almost concerned look before he head out the door. Morgana popped out of his bag to wholeheartedly agree. "You seem out of it."

"Mm." You set the cup down on the drying rack. "I've just been thinking about the...past. Maybe it's my midlife crisis?"

"Aren't you in your early twenties?" Akira pushed Morgana back into his bag, though not at all rough. Still, Sojiro was present in the room, so he covered for Morgana's question by asking the same thing.

"Well, who knows when I'll die?" It came off a bit more suicidal than you intended, but you kept your face straight, as if there was nothing strange about what you had just said. The perks of growing up was a better control of your expression, something you hadn't quite grasped back in your school days. "It's really nothing much. You go have fun! I'll take care of things here."

Sojiro, meanwhile, flipped through another page of his magazine from where he stood behind the counter. "Midlife crisis at your age? If you have the time to joke around finish doing all the dishes."

"Yes, sir. I'll have them done in no time." You waved a soapy hand at Akira, who gave you a nod of acknowledgement before stepping out. Sojiro continued reading his magazine, though his tone had softened considerably. 

"Look," he began, "I'm not your dad or anything, but you know if you have any issues I'm here for you, right?"

You rinsed the last cup, set it on the drying rack, and dried your hands. For Sojiro, you decided to go with the truth. "I was just thinking about my, ah, boyfriend. Ex-boyfriend, I guess."

He finally set down the magazine as you walked to stand beside him, though he didn't look in your direction, only sighing and looking at the door and Akira's shrinking figure. "If it's too much, you should take a break from this job. I don't know what your full time job is, but taking on a second part-time job might be too much stress for you."

"Oh, no, it's fine. Working here actually helps me get my mind off things." Sojiro sighed again, but didn't say anything to try to change your mind.

"I trust you know what's best for yourself, then. Unlike that kid, I don't have any right to tell you what I think you should do."

"Thanks." You propped your chin up with a hand, leaning onto the counter. "Where else would I get a boss as understanding as you?"

"Don't think too hard about it." To be fair, you hadn't had any other dreams of Minato besides the one after Mementos. It could very well have been a one time thing due to stress from losing your persona, but at the same time you really doubted that. Another part of you thought, well, at least you could see him, even if he was blaming you for his death. 

The only thing keeping you distracted was yourself. 

After your shift, you were surprised to see a notification from the group chat the Phantom Thieves reluctantly put you in after you hinted at it a couple of times.

-

pt groupchat for bastards

takamaki ann

hey!!! we're planning on going to a museum tmr

has to do with a potential target

wanna come too? 💕

You

oh, of course! sounds fun

who's the target? i prolly i won't come along to the palace lmao

Kurusu Akira

Madarame Ichiryusai.

There's rumors of him being a fraud, so we want to investigate.

We have tickets from one of his students, Kitagawa Yusuke.

Sakamoto Ryuji

Oh, that guy

Yea he was stalkin Ann and wants her to be his model LOL

takamaki ann

i'd be perfectly fine if u didn't mention him!!

Sakamoto Ryuji

My bad

But yea if ur coming we should pick a time

You

alright!! i'll help u guys out best as i can so don't worry

wait he wants ann to be his model?? nothing nude right?

Sakamoto Ryuji

LOL

takamaki ann

don't say anything.

You

u want me to wait outside with a stun gun?

takamaki ann

i don't doubt your skills, but please don't...

i'll be fine!!! as long as ryuji and kurusu here follow the plan

-

You watched them text back and forth before you put your phone away. Time seemed to be passing by way too fast. Just a while ago you were waiting for them to get through Kamoshida's palace, and now there were about to start Madarame's. Well, maybe not that fast, considering the multitude of other palaces they had to slog through, but you couldn't help but marvel at how time was progressing.

That night, you picked out a nice outfit and after thinking about it some more, left some pepper spray in your bag. It wasn't for Yusuke, but if Madarame were to pick a fight or something, as unlikely as that was, you'd be on his ass instantly. You snorted at your actions. It was almost like you were preparing for your first date or something. The thought was sweet for a moment, but turned bittersweet once you returned to the present.

If it was any consolace, however, you had a dreamless night. Maybe that dream of Minato was a one-time thing. Maybe the guilt that temporarily weighed down on your chest in the morning would disappear in due time. 

The next day, you waved at your companions who were outside the musuem. Ann in particular looked the least excited.

"Do you want me to come with you?" you asked. "If it makes you feel safer, I'm all for it."

"Actually, that would be nice, thank you." She beamed at you. "Alright, let's go in already!" Good thing Akira had wheedled a fourth ticket for you out of Yusuke, so you could stroll right in with them. Yusuke approached as soon as the four of you entered, and you stood behind Ann with the most disarming smile you could muster.

After his due lines, he turned to face you. "And you must be the friend. I must admit, I expected you to be a student their age as well."

"Well, think of me as a chaperone." 

As he made his offer to Ann, you stepped in, still looking as polite as ever. "If you don't mind...Kitagawa, was it? If you don't mind, may I come along? I won't get in your way, but it'll give me peace of mind if I can stay with Takamaki."

"Y-Yeah!" Ann added. "I don't want her to worry about me, so..."

Yusuke spared you another look, but the glare he had softened into a more neutral expression. "Well...if you must. This way, please." You gave a small wave to Akira and Ryuji before you followed Ann's footsteps, making sure to keep an appropriate distance while keeping her in your eyesight.

Everything happened according to your memories. When Madarame approached, you had instinctively inched closer to Ann, hiding your loathing for the scumbag behind an impenetrable societal mask polished to perfection from years of experience. Ah, if only Yukari and Junpei could see you now, no longer frustratingly obvious about your feelings.

"I don't believe I recognize you," Madarame said. "Are you perhaps an acquaintance of this girl?"

"We're friends." Bright smile. Nothing could hide your feelings behind politeness more than a good smile. "It's truly an honor to meet you."

"The honor is all mine," he said, before nodding wisely. All a sham, of course. "Are you perhaps a fan?"

"Of course!" You brushed some hair behind your ear. "I really admire how diverse your art is. In fact, it's almost as if there were different people drawing each piece."

He let nothing show on his face. "Yes, I tend to hear that often. Well, it was nice meeting the two of you, but I must be going now. If you'll excuse me." You watched him go, and the smile on your face curved downwards until it was a more neutral smile. You turned to Yusuke, almost apologetically.

"Ah, my bad. I'll back up a little, so feel free to continue." Before you did, however, you couldn't help but test the waters one last time. "Ah, Kitagawa?"

"...yes?" While you wouldn't say there was annoyance in his voice, it was certainly far from friendly.

You thought about what to say. You sure Madarame's work is all original? You want to tell me who drew that angry looking painting over there? But the more you thought, the more you realized it didn't matter what you said. If you straight out went I know he's using your art he'd be upset, but remain steadfast in his belief until he saw the palace.

It was like a wave of vertigo had passed through your head in that moment, as you faced Yusuke. What can I even do? I'm not supposed to be here. Unbeknownst to your two companions, you were going through the same vivid sense of alienation you thought you had long shaken off.

"Oh, nevermind," you said, trying to brush off the feeling. "It wasn't important. Shall we continue?"

And as they spoke and perused through paintings, just like any two high schoolers at a museum, you texted Akira and Ryuji, making plans to meet up at their public hideout. Afterwards, when Yusuke had enough of showing her around, you showed her the texts and walked with her to the walkway.

"You sure you wanna discuss all this...here?" You gave the whole place a disdainful stare. "Even a cafe would be way better and discreet."

Ryuji waved you off. "Nah, it's not a big deal. It'll only take a minute!" So all you could do was hold on tighter to your purse and pray no one thought it was weird for one young adult and three teenagers hanging out on the walkway. Ryuji showed a message on his screen to everyone, including you, and they made plans for meeting Yusuke the next day. 

"Can I come too?" You gave them an innocent look. "I can bring my naginata and everything. I'm just really curious."

"Didn't you say you weren't going in any palaces?" Ann asked. "And we don't even know if Madarame has one yet. And wait, did you say naginata?"

"Yeah, I know how to use one." Correction, you were absolutely amazing at wielding a naginata. Mostly, you were desperate to stay connected to canon. Even if all you could do was swing a naginata, you would swing it as best you could. And even if your aim with your evoker was terrible, it still felt natural in your hands. All those months of venturing into Tartarus wouldn't leave your mind so soon. "I'm not trying to sound patronizing, but I can't help but worry for you guys." Mitsuru and Akihiko made all the difference when we were going through Tartarus, you didn't say.

"But we have no way of keepin' you safe. I mean, you don't have a persona or anythin'." Ryuji, you knew, was genuinely looking after your own interests. But they didn't know the first thing when it came to you, and you'd keep it that way, besides showing off occasionally. 

"Don't worry, I can take care of myself." Thank god you still kept up a training regimen. "Last time I was just caught off guard, but I promise I won't drag you down."

"I know, but..." Ryuji hesitated, as did Ann, and they both turned to Akira. He looked at you, and through his glasses you could see beyond his facade of a quiet, careless highschooler, to the wildcard he was.

"Alright," he said. "Tomorrow at the train station."

"Wait, seriously?" Ryuji jumped up. "You're sure about this?" He nodded, and Ryuji sighed, but his voice lowered in pitch. 

You'd have to prepare for tomorrow, then. It had been forever since you got into a proper shadow fight, and even without Chang'e you could still do something.

"Is it just me or do you look excited?" Ann asked, trailing off.

"Well, maybe just a little," you replied. "I'll see you tomorrow! Actually, I work at Shibuya, so I can just meet you guys at the closest train station to our destination."

Akira nodded, and you bid farewell to your companions, making your way home to cook a quick dinner before you went digging around for your old things. A long, thin duffel bag that was only mildly suspicious, with more than enough room for your naginata and evoker. No way were you taking your holster along this time, or they might actually start being suspicious of why you had a replica gun in the first place.

It was harder to sleep that night. You likened it to the experience of not being able to sleep the night before a field trip, even if the field trip was to someone's palace. It'd be nice to get back into the swing of things. Relive your youth a little, without the looming threat of Nyx always in the back of your mind.

When you finally did fade into sleep, you found yourself lying on the ground. The ground was soaked from the ongoing rainstorm, and you groggily raised your head to see you were sprawled out beneath the torii gates back at Naganaki Shrine. The rain soaked through your school uniform, but it didn't feel wet or cold. 

Laying back down, you scratched at the stone path with a finger, and still felt numb.

"A dream." You sat back up, patting one of the torii pillars. "Why Naganaki Shrine?" You had your answer a moment later.

Minato stood at the end of the torii gates, leaning on one of the pillars. Your first instinct was to run over and greet him, but the problem with being lucid was you remembered just how your last dream of him went.

"Are you here to blame me?" You took a step forward. The rain seemed to fall around him, as if there were some barrier surrounding his body, and mentally you rolled your eyes. Leave it to the messiah to be untouched by the forces of nature in your own dream. 

"I've never blamed you for anything." Talkative, too. There was no way this one was your own Minato. Or did being dead-slash-chained to a door for all of eternity change things?

"Then what was that last time?" You crossed your arms. This didn't feel threatening at all. The rain lended a nice ambience to the quiet of the shrine, and Minato didn't budge an inch from where he stood, at the exit of the torii gates, as if he couldn't walk in. He looked at you, with a face that hadn't aged at all, with a smile as sweet as the one he had the day he died.

"No, I haven't blamed you for a thing," he said. He titled his head, Minato—no, the thing wearing his face—and stepped into the first torii gate. "Aren't you the one blaming yourself?"

You stepped backwards. Suddenly, you felt like there were too little torii gates. Whoever designed the place should've added tens or hundreds more, if it meant this figment of your imagination couldn't catch up to you. "You think I wanted you to die? You think I want to be dreaming about you like this?"

He walked, in the same languid, fluid motions Minato did, with his hands in his pockets and his back slightly hunched over. You backed up, and for once you felt the rain soaking through your clothes, plastering your hair to your cheeks. The former dreamlike quality of your dream had vanished, but Minato remained untouched.

"May you repent for all eternity." He closed his eyes. "Just as I will remain guarding Nyx."

"Repent?" A quick glance behind you revealed there was nowhere left to run. "Can't we go back to the dreams where we'd hang out after school? Or when you wouldn't be so scary?"

"Am I scaring you?" He stopped, just in front of you. When he straightened up, he was a lot taller than you could recall him being. "But you're still alive, aren't you? What's there to be scared of?"

"Of course it's terrifying when you—" He reached out, and with cold hands, pushed you backwards. Your feet slipped on the rain-slicked path and you fell, face up, seeing Minato walk away from the scene of the crime. And instead of your head cracking open on the rocks you felt as if you had sunken underwater instead, seeing only a hazy, distorted image of the torii gates somewhere far above.

You woke to the sharp cries of your alarm, blinking up at the ceiling. And then you rolled onto your side, ignoring your alarm as you buried your face in your blankets.

"Does he really hate me?" you asked yourself, speaking in a quiet whisper. It was a lot softer of a dream than your first one, but the discomfort lodged in your chest didn't leave. If anything, even without being driven to the point of tears, just this guilt was enough to put a damper in your mood.

Throughout the day you had multiple coworkers ask if you were alright. To each and every one them you had to say, oh, no, it's nothing, just didn't get enough sleep. You weren't going to unload your whole backstory on some unsuspecting person who was kind enough to inquire after you.

You wandered to the train station after work in a daze, and you leaned against the entrance with your phone in hand. You had a lot of pictures from your old camera transferred onto your phone, and you scrolled through them now, feeling a little stab in your chest every time you passed by one with Minato. Even so, you always lingered on his face for a moment too long, before moving on.

"Oh, hey!" Ann hurried over, "Sorry, were you waiting long?" You quickly turned off your phone, sliding it into your bag. 

"Not at all." You straightened up, stepping away from the walls around the staircase. "Why don't we get going? It'll probably take us a while to get there."

"You look pretty down, by the way," Ann said, sometime near the end of your walk. "Is everything alright?"

For a moment you weren't sure how to react, looking at her with an empty expression. And then her words seemed to crash into you, like waves onto the shore, and you quickly said, "oh, yeah, I'm just a little tired from work. I'll be fine after walking for a while."

"Well...if you're sure. Just let me know if you need a break or something. We wouldn't want to tire you out."

"Thanks." Up ahead, you could see a truly horrible looking shack. "I think that's it. Should we play rock paper scissors to see who rings the doorbell?"

"No need." Ryuji grinned, giving a nod in Ann's direction. "I think Ann should do it. She's the one he's lookin' for anyways."

"What? The walls won't collapse when I do, will they...?" You listened to their banter with one ear, trying to recall your best naginata moves while they approached the shack. It had been forever since you had properly held it, and you clung to the hope that maybe—maybe if you did a good enough job, all this guilt and sorrow would have a reason to leave.

Chapter Text

"Happy new years!" You greeted Minato in your kimono. "You know, I've never worn one of these before. Mitsuru-senpai had to teach me how."

"You look nice," said the ever-polite boyfriend. Behind him, Junpei stuck out his tongue.

"Wow, get a room!" You could hear the teasing tone in his voice, and you shook your head with a smile. 

"You look nice too, in your...shirt and pants. Did you bring your wallet? I dressed up for you, so buy me some takoyaki and an ema." You made grabby hands at him, and sure enough, he pulled out a wallet. You dropped your hands and gave him a complicated expression.

"I didn't actually expect you to buy anything. Here, I didn't want to bring a bag so I have some money I shoved somewhere inside here. Let me..." Before you could retrieve the money you shoved down the kimono because the damn things didn't have any pockets, Yukari put a firm hand on your shoulder. Mitsuru clamped her her down on your other shoulder.

"Please don't do that," Yukari said, with a firmness that forced you to drop your hand.

"But how else am I going to get my money?" See, whenever you wanted to hold something, like your phone, but didn't have available or big enough pockets you relied the only pockets you had; your bra. 

"Please...let Minato pay for you." Mitsuru had such a serious look on your face you simply had to nod and agree, giving up on retrieving the money you had thoughtfully brought with you.

You dragged him over to where the ema were first, and he dutifully bought one for you. "Buy one for yourself!" you exclaimed, asking the person selling them for a pen. "I'll pay you back for both of them, so you should make a wish too."

After a bit more wheedling on your end, he finally bought himself one and accepted a pen from the person selling the ema. You didn't need to think too hard about yours. As he tapped his pen on the surface of his ema you were already scrawling in your best English: please, let Minato live and be happy. 

Before he finished, you quickly hung yours up and flipped it over. He stood next to you and tied his up the highest he could reach, which...you couldn't see. You grabbed onto his shoulder to try to pull yourself high enough to get a glimpse, but alas, you couldn't make out a single character.

"You're not going to tell me what you wished for?"

"You're not either." You huffed.

"Mine's embarrassing. You don't need to know." 

From the side, Junpei called, "what, you're writing ema? Let me do one." Yukari, too, walked over, looking interested. Eventually everyone crowded around, passing around pens and squabbling over handwriting. You stood further away with Minato, watching SEES write down their wishes for the coming month down.

"Here, let me use your back," Yukari said.

"Hell no! Go ask Aigis or something." Junpei was busy holding his up with one hand, scrawling away.

You watched Aigis help Koromaru write one before you turned to Minato. "So...what'd you write?"

"I'll tell you after we beat Nyx." The thought made your throat dry, and you had the urge to turn away from him. Anything to pretend you didn't know what would happen after the last day of January.

"It's a promise," you said, and you stuck your pinkie out, pretending it wasn't shaking along with your hand. "I'll tell you mine too, so... You absolutely have to survive." He linked pinkies with you and you pressed your thumb to his, sealing the deal in the only way you knew how.

"I won't lose to Nyx," he said, and you knit your eyebrows together. Not to Nyx in person, but to saving humanity, to preventing the Fall even if he was just someone unfortunate enough to have been on the wrong bridge at the wrong time.

"You won't lose," you admitted. "Then...how about you promise me we'll get married in...eight years? Eight's a lucky number. So you absolutely can't break up with me until then, or leave, or..." 

He smiled, and didn't raise his hand to meet yours. 

"Let's get takoyaki," he said, his way of dodging the topic. You wanted to sock him in the shoulder, but in this situation, you couldn't blame him one bit.

"If I were anyone else, I'd assume this means you don't love me anymore," you said, but accompanied him to the takoyaki stand. 

He shelled out the money, and passed a tray of takoyaki made just a bit earlier to you, which had cooled down enough for your hands to hold. "I want you to be happy," he said.

"And if you want me to be happy, we should get married in eight years. It has to be you." The takoyaki filling was...indescribable. You ate another one and ignored how it scalded your tongue.

"It doesn't have to be me." He took one with the other toothpick, but actually had the good sense to wait for it to cool down a bit more in the early January chill. 

"It'll be you," you said, quite stubbornly. "And if you ever stop loving me we can break up and not get married but I just want you to...not..."

"It'll be fine," he said, but it wouldn't be fine. But he could be awfully stubborn at times and he hardly ever lost his cool, so you had to eat the rest of the takoyaki with anger and drag him back to the rest of SEES, who were hanging up their ema. 

"Hey, senpai, what'd you wish for?" Junpei asked, and then leered. "More protein powder?"

Akihiko turned flustered. "What? Hey! Not everything's about protein..." Saying that, though, he sighed and his expression morphed into one more downbeat. "Actually, I wished that we could...you know...at the end of the month..."

The mood immediately dampened. "Actually..." Yukari said, "I put that too."

"Same here..." No one else wanted to volunteer theirs, knowing it would be along the same lines. Only you and Minato knew that the ones the two of you wrote weren't about Nyx. And while the rest of SEES would be praying for the best at the end of the month, you and Minato were looking ahead to the future, beyond the final fight with Nyx.

"Don't worry," you said, your way of trying to cheer them up. "I know we're going to win. Haven't you ever read a book? The heroes always win."

But of course, you couldn't quite say what the price of victory was. 

Since it was the final month, Minato doubled down on the Tartarus runs. Not that you could blame him; you could completely understand from a gameplay perspective. He wasn't fighting Nyx alone. He needed to grind the rest of you, his teammates, to a suitable level to fight Nyx. However, you didn't fail to notice how Monad wasn't present.

You caught him heading to student council after school. Caught was a bad word—more like you followed him around, since you always went home together anyways, and he went into the student council room. When you took your chance to follow him in, despite not being an actual member, you caught him talking with Hidetoshi to the side. Chihiro saw you peeking and gave you a smile.

"Hey, looking for your boyfriend?"

"You know it!" You waved to her, and then slowly approached Minato while his back was turned to you and he was talking to Hidetoshi. You pressed your index finger to your lip and Hidetoshi's eyes met yours for a brief moment before he let out a helpless sigh and continued to speak. 

As soon as he was in arms' reach you quickly hugged him, putting your chin on his shoulder. "Boo!"

"Thank you," he continued, completely unfazed by your efforts, and you saw him pocket a cheap lighter. 

"It's nothing." Hidetoshi cleared his throat as you tried to tase Minato, who again, had no response. "...you know, want to get something after student council is over? You too," he said, including you in his max social link afterschool get together. Wait. Max social link?

You released your hold on Minato, standing beside him. "Oh, no, you guys should go together. I'm not clingy enough to force myself into his time with friends." You pat your boyfriend (your boyfriend!) on the shoulder, showing him just how magnanimous and generous you were. "I'll see you back at the dorms?"

"You're sure?" he asked.

"One billion percent. Let's go watch Featherman when you get back!" He nodded, and you left after exchanging a few more words with Chihiro. It wasn't like you always walked home with him. You were more than willing to take your leave if he had other friends to hang out with. And it wasn't like you put all your self worth into being in a relationship with him. 

It was interesting how he maxed out Hidetoshi's social link all of a sudden. You didn't think too much of it until a journey into Tartarus a while later, with Ken and Koromaru. It was one of those bad floors, with no enemies and only chests. You walked around with the group grabbing all the "phat loot" as Junpei would put it, and then Minato sat at the stairs and waited.

You took it as him being tired or something, but the minutes grew longer and suspicion took root in your mind. There was one possibility for all of this—but he wouldn't, right? He wouldn't.

"We've been waiting here for a while," you slowly said, holding your naginata closer to yourself. "And earlier you gave me an accessory for Garu attacks. My weakness."

"That's right," he said.

"And I remember we went shopping the other day for medicine and the special stuff from the antique store," you continued. 

"Yes," he said.

"And you've been hanging out with Odagiri," you said. "And I noticed you were using Odin earlier."

"I was," he said.

"Are those Indra Bracers?" You grabbed his arm to take a closer look. "Those are Indra Bracers, aren't they? Are you really doing what I'm thinking of right now?"

"That depends on what you're thinking," he said, readying his katana and leaving a hand at his side, on his evoker. 

Ken and Koromaru stood by innocently, the two babies of the team, having no idea of the atrocity about to be committed. Your heart genuinely hurt for them, but not as much as it hurt for yourself.

"Ken's weak to Mudo!" you exclaimed, holding your hands out in Ken's direction, whose head snapped up and stared at you in confusion. "Koro-chan's weak to Hama!"

"I bought a bunch of the homunculus," he said, as if that would solve the issue. Only part of it.

"He's like eleven! You're going to make an eleven year old go through that? Or a dog?"

"He has Mediarahan," he said, like that excused his actions. Only a little bit. 

"So does Yukari! Actually, don't bring Yukari, she's too nice for this. Just bring me!" You shook your head and ran over to Ken, ready to pick him and Koro-chan up to run away. "Come on, Ken, Koro-chan, we gotta leave before he makes us—"

"I sense death!" Fuuka called, and you instantly felt dread slip down your spine.

"What?" Ken stood up. "Should we leave?"

Minato shook his head, and Ken shrugged. "Well...alright." Not alright!

"Aren't you worried, Ken?" You stared at the staircase. "Come on, why don't you run away and Minato and I will also run away—"

"No, it's okay," he said, in a voice still completely innocent. Your heart hurt. The poor thing, forced to expend all his SP to cast Mediarahan and Recarm. And what about Koro-chan?

"Koro-chan, surely you understand what's going to happen and—"

Koromaru barked and trotted to stand next to Minato. You stared at the three of them.

"You're all going to fight the Reaper? Minato didn't even bother getting Armageddon! If he had that I'd be perfectly fine with all of this but you think Thunder Reign's gonna work? Thunder Reign?"

"I don't really know what you're talking about," Ken said, "but I trust him."

You put your head in your hands with a groan. "Oh my god, you guys are going to be the death of me." It was as if the Reaper was waiting for your cue too, because you could hear the clinking of chains and Fuuka's warning. You held your naginata steady with one hand and reached for your evoker with the other, getting into position with the others. How did you not notice earlier? 

As the Reaper approached, you shot Minato a dirty glare. "If I get knocked out, do not Recarm me," you told him fiercely. "The Reaper caught me slipping. That's on me."

"I'm sure it won't be that bad," Ken said. Since when was the eleven year old this confident? You had no way of telling what level you were at, but it sure as hell had to be around the sixties if Minato wanted to go unlock Monad for grinding. 

Sure enough, a moment later the Reaper approached, in all its ugly glory, and you prepared yourself by taking multiple deep breaths that only stressed you out more. This was crazy—your role was to be the ridiculous, unfazed one, not Minato and Ken. Instead they were acting like this was just another one of the maya variations.

The first thing Minato cast was Thunder Reign. You went and scored a critical with Chang'e. Ken wanted to all out attack. Then Ken got a critical, because why not. Koromaru just barked and looked cute. The fact that this wasn't even a team perfect for the Reaper, because Aigis could buff instead of Koromaru barking and wagging his tail. What the hell.

"You know what?" You weathered through the Reaper's attack with only a slight grimace before healing everyone. "I take it back. You do whatever. If you wanna spend an hour cheesing it out I'll sit here and take all your Soma healing everyone."

"It won't take an hour," he said. 

"Good, it'll take two." Truthfully speaking, you had only bothered fighting the Reaper in Portable, so you had no idea how long it'd take now that Thunder Reign actually forced the Reaper to spend one turn getting up. "Come on, let's rip apart this bastard so you can finally use Alice."

"Alright," he said, and then took out—shit, was that...was that Armageddon? He cast it, and in the process, completely decimated the Reaper. You stared at him with disbelief.

"You had that the whole time? What was the point of making us all fight it?" You gestured at his empty hands, at his Indra Bracers, at yourself. "You could've used that right off the bat!"

"I liked seeing you get worked up," he said. 

You had no idea what to say, or what to feel for the matter. Flattered he was acting like one of those shoujo manga guys? Angry he was actually successful in getting you worked up? Or maybe just completely drained from the life-threatening situation? "Oh my god," you said, and then punched his shoulder. "You got me. Very funny. Don't worry, I still love you."

"Then are we done here?" Ken lowered his spear. "That was over fast."

"Would've been faster if Armageddon was used right away."

Ken didn't seem mad about it at all. "But you have been looking down recently. I'm glad you're more energetic again."

"I've been looking down?" Of course you were. What better time to relive the year's worth of guilt that had accumulated up until now? But Ken didn't know all of that, and you sure as hell weren't going to bother Minato with the survivor's guilt you had already developed. "I guess what's going to happen later got to me too. Thanks for worrying about me, Ken. Hey, let's go get dinner tomorrow night! I'll pay for you, don't worry."

"I guess if you want to?" Ken looked at Minato. "Oh, you can join too. A-And it's okay, I can pay for myself—"

"No way!" You crossed your arms in an X shape. "I won't accept any refusal from your part. If you're worried about the cost, we can just leech off my boyfriend."

"Won't he go broke at this rate?" Ken asked, with a sigh. Meanwhile, the four of you began walking towards the teleporter on the other side of the floor. Koromaru barked, as if agreeing. Wow, what jerks. Did they think you were a golddigger? (Then again, dating someone you knew was filthy rich from a New Game Plus and knowing he'd die...wasn't that the same thing?)

"I don't make him buy that much stuff." Truth be told, you rarely seriously asked for him to buy you anything. You had your own pride to uphold. "Right, honey?"

"She doesn't," he said to Ken, just to preserve your honor. What a sweetheart. 

"Well...if you say so..." Then again, he didn't seem to believe it much. "It's just that Junpei says your job is to suck him dry of any cash."

"Junpei's just jealous he does have a sugar da—" Not around the kid, not around the kid... "Let me rephrase that. Junpei's just jealous he doesn't have a cool boyfriend like I do." You gracefully stepped aside to let Koromaru activate the teleporter, as he so deserved. 

Ken considered it. "I guess I agree with you," he said, "about how Minato's a cool boyfriend."

"Isn't he? He's the best." You snatched up his arm as you walked with him to the side of the room, where he let go for a moment. Just to enter the Velvet Room and reap his rewards, probably. He blinked back into the real world, and you hooked your arm around his again, playing the perfect clingy significant other. "Actually, if you ever start dating someone, you have to take them to see me, Ken. I will only accept the best for you."

"What are you, his mom?" Junpei called from where he stood a ways back. Always one chiming into every conversation, that was Junpei.

"He's like the cutest little brother ever! Besides, if I had to have a son...my son would be Koro-chan, no doubt about it." You kneeled down to scratch Koromaru behind the ears, and for a moment tried to imagine a future with Minato. Probably a small apartment together, hopefully in Tokyo so you could go look for the Phantom Thieves. Minato would have no trouble finding a job, and you would probably do okay finding yourself one too. Every once in a while you'd get together with the rest of SEES back at Tatsumi Port Island and reminisce about the good old days of saving the world...

Just a flight of fancy. There was just about nothing you could do for your dear boyfriend, loathe as you were to part from him.

"Let's go back," he said to you, pulling you up. 

"Yeah." You'd deal with that another time. "Let's go."

Chapter Text

"It's great you guys are changing your mind, but Madarame could be putting on an act," you said, after they had backed off from Yusuke's shack after an abysmal conversation with the lad himself. Were it not for your, ah, talents you wouldn't have suspected him either, but it was amazing how much a little prior knowledge could do for you. 

"Yeah. You should check on the MetaNav first." Dutifully listening to his cat, Akira pulled out his phone and the other two crowded around him to see. 

"No way!" Ann exclaimed, and you didn't need to join their little huddle group to understand why. "But...wow, I still can't really believe he has a palace."

You stayed quiet as they picked keywords, all of which failed. For the most part, you were great at slipping under the radar so as to not disturb any conversations from the main plot. Unfortunately, there were only ever three people who could notice you and drag you back into it—Minato, Yu, and now Akira. 

"What do you think?" he asked, and Ann and Ryuji turned back to you.

"Yeah! Why don't you take a shot at it?" Ryuji nodded in agreement.

"It can't hurt to try," Ann added, chiming in optimistically. Honestly speaking, you could play dumb and say something stupid so Akira could go ahead and say the right answer which would minimize your presence in the Phantom Thieves, which should've been your goal. But you couldn't help it; the chance to show off was truly tantalizing.

You pretended to think about it. "Well, if Madarame's an artist...wouldn't a museum work?" The app pinged, and Ryuji jolted in shock.

"For real? And on your first try?" Before you could brush it off as beginner's luck, that same weightless feeling came over your body and the ringing in your ears—god that definitely encapsulated tinnitus—faded as the world came back into focus. You wisely pretended the huge golden museum escaped your notice so the Phantom Thieves could go realize for themselves.

Though, forget the palace. You looked down at your clothes, the same thing you wore before landing in the Metaverse, and then the gaudy outfits of the three teenagers. Especially Ann's, whose outfit you spared a glance for with pity. There wasn't anything you could do for her now, but god did it probably feel awful wearing a bright red catsuit while your three companions got snug black clothes.

"Okay, are you sure you want to be here?" The lack of cool Phantom Thief garb on you probably made Ann and the others more hesitant too. Ann gave you a sympathetic look. "Look, we don't want you to get hurt or anything, especially because you don't have a persona."

You shook your head. "No, really, I'm fine. What do you think is in my bag?"

"Huh?" She looked at the duffle bag on your back. "Uh...it's long, so a katana or something?"

Though she probably meant it as an offhand guess, it was pretty much close to a naginata. "No, not me, but I knew two guys who could use katanas. I know a thing or two about how to wield one. You should be glad I didn't learn how to from my friend. He, ah, held it like a baseball bat."

"A baseball bat?" Ann made a disturbed face. "How is that any different from just using a baseball bat then?"

"He'd probably never settle for that. Katanas are cooler. Though...I always did wonder how he didn't break his katana." You were momentarily distracted by the past again. Junpei certainly was a one of a kind when it came to wielding a weapon, though Ken came in close. He practically threw himself around using that spear around his height, which constantly freaked you out. 

"What about the other one?" It was rare for Akira to speak up, so you turned to him immediately.

"Hm? Other one?" 

"You mentioned two guys," he clarified, and something in you went still. Probably because you weren't over the dream from earlier that morning, or maybe you had always been adverse to mentioning a dead boyfriend to people. Both seemed perfectly valid reasons.

Minato always wielded his katana better than Junpei, but then again, anyone could. "The other guy...well, I might be biased, but he was really good at using a katana." You swallowed. "But that's enough about me. No, I don't have a katana here, but it'll come in handy."

"If you're sure about this...but, for real, don't hesitate to tell us if you need a break," Ryuji said, and you took the initiative to scale the truck and the wall first, landing perfectly much to everyone else's surprise.

As you ran off into the little hedge maze with them, Ryuji took the chance to speak again. "So how'd you even know two guys who used katanas? Did you have some sort of competition where you're from or somethin'?"

You faked confusion. "You're telling me high school kids these days aren't interested in swords anymore? No more clubs with katanas?"

"Hell no!" he exclaimed. 

"What, I thought kendo clubs were still a thing," you said. Akira helped you up one of the higher podiums and you gratefully accepted his outstretched hand as he effortlessly pulled you up. Shit. The high school kid was probably buffer than you at this point and that was something you could not accept.

"Kendo clubs use fake swords! What kinda kendo club were you in?"

"Please tell me no one sparred with real swords in your school," Ann added. You followed Akira up the side of the museum and to the roof, where there was a single open skylight window. 

"I mean, I think my two...friends were the minority. But they never caused any serious injury. They were very thorough with the katanas."

Ryuji spared you a look. "That really doesn't answer the question."

After you dropped into the palace, you took your chance to casually unzip your bag to pull your naginata out as the others read the plaque of the painting in front. Morgana noticed first.

"Wait, you brought an actual weapon?" You carefully tested out the handle of your naginata in response. It felt a little strange, but still familiar enough so you could be certain you'd still be able to use it in a fight.

"Of course I did," you said, walking to stand by the Phantom Thieves again. "I don't know what you guys are using to fight, but I've only ever used a naginata."

Ryuji turned back to openly gape at you. "You're serious? You've got actual experience with that thing?"

"Why else would I bring it? More importantly, shouldn't you guys pay attention to the paintings here? They look important." You tilted your chin towards the largest one greeting the five of you, with shifting paint and a thin lipped expression on the painting's subject: one of Madarame's students, in this case.

They crowded around the plaque next to the name as you hefted the naginata into your arms, looking after them with the watchful eye of an older sibling. That is to say you would've been on your phone in any other situation, but then they'd probably think you weren't taking it seriously. When they moved onto the next area you followed behind, and when they stopped at a portrait of some bespectacled man you hung back, waiting to see their reaction.

Eventually they got to Yusuke, which took all of your patience not grabbing their hands and leading them to his portrait. Heaven knows how much you'd have to endure all this foreknowledge of what was to happen. It was different back in high school because lives were at stake—well, now, they were here too. It just felt more downplayed here, in contrast to how openly dark your high school days had been. You plucked a brochure off the stand after Akira did, going through its contents with a quick raking over of your eyes. As expected, you remembered jack shit about the palace map after all these years. It was a wonder you remembered the plot at all.

You followed them to the ostentatious golden statue that was a clear indicator of Madarame's guilt, listening in to their conversation half-heartedly. You offered your opinion when asked, but you couldn't shake off the thought that this was just like how your high school days had turned out. Did you even need to change the plot? No, of course you did. There was Akechi whose life became forfeit. At the very least, you had to help him.

But doubt gnawed at you. Could you even do anything? Not when Minato turned out like that—smiling in his last moments, because his fatal flaw was that he was too kind, too willing to give up everything for the world. You had the worst track record with martyrs, it seemed.

"Hey...you okay?" Ryuji awkwardly asked, and you loosened your grip on your naginata. "We're gonna head out, so..."

"Well, now I feel embarrassed for bringing this old thing," you said, laughing casually. Never let it be said you couldn't use casual conversation to drive off your feelings temporarily. "Yeah, let's go. Do you want me to come with you for your modeling for Yusuke, Takamaki? We can just say I'm your chaperone or something."

Ann considered it. "Normally I'd love that, but...I don't think Kitagawa would accept that. As long as you make sure those two don't wander off, I'll be fine."

So that was that. You bid the Phantom Thieves farewell after the five of you exited the palace and trudged home on your lonesome. No shadows to be fought, no showing off to be done, simple as any trek in the park. You buried your head in your hands and sighed, shielded by the anonymity of a full train car of people wanting to get home. 

"Rough day?" some man in a striped shirt said. Probably no one important, seeing as you couldn't recognize his face. You gave him a tired smile as you looked up, while he shifted his grip on the handlebar. 

Funny. You didn't think the cultural habit of talking to strangers on public transit was a thing in Japan. "Yeah. Thanks for the concern." 

"Oh, no worries!" He had a familiar smile, the more you thought about it. Even as you were jostled around in your seat, bumping shoulders with the businessman and office lady sitting on either side of you, there was something about you inexplicably drawn to him. Absolutely not in a romantic sense, but the more you stared, the more it seemed like you knew him. "I hope you feel better, then."

"I'm sorry, do I..." He glossed over your words. Right, he had such kind eyes and a peculiar way of smiling, like he was tilting his head up to catch more sunlight. 

His next words made a lot more sense. "I like what you've done with my book. I'm sure he would've approved too."

"Akinari?" You forced yourself to meet his eyes straight on. Not a bit of his face had changed. And it was funny how you hadn't recognized him earlier, because ever since your death you had his face memorized and seared into your mind. 

"You are much kinder than you give yourself credit for," he said, and leaned forward to speak in a quiet, conspiratory tone, as if he was sharing with you some great secret across the hustle and bustle of the train home. "But it's good to see you again."

"I don't understand," you said, and couldn't help but let some amount of the hopelessness you were feeling slip through your mask. "I get seeing Minato, because I was asleep, but—" You raised your head to look at his hand gripping the bar above your seat, trying to count his fingers, but he only moved his hand behind his back. 

That was a sure admission of his guilt. "Am I going to keep dreaming about you and...everyone else?" Great, losing your sanity was now as easy as it would ever get.

"Do you want to?"

Your first response was to say, no, of course not, especially not with Minato being all scary and accusatory. But it also meant you could see him, and not in photographs or your memories. With how the human mind worked, you weren't sure if you could remember his words or the expression he reserved just for you, on the slow days before the end of the world. And losing that couldn't be worse than a bit of guilt tripping every few weeks, now could it?

"I want to," you said to your dream's version of Akinari. "How else will I see you again?"

"You may be right about that," he said, eyes crinkling. "You should wake up now, before you miss your stop."

And before you could ask him if he was eating well in heaven, or whatever sort of afterlife he found himself in, the train came to a stop, and Akinari let go of the bar to offer you one last smile before he turned to walk into the throng of people, out the door, and away from you. 

You stood up too, trying to push past the crowd to the door of the train. "Wait, I'm not ready for you to—"

"Don't worry," he said, as the doors began to close. You pushed harder, but the hands of the passengers tightened their grip on your arms, and your struggle was all for nothing. "We'll meet again someday. I'm sure of it."

That was enough to give you pause. "Then I'll hold you to it," you said, and the doors shut. You opened your eyes to someone awkwardly tapping your shoulder. You squinted, and the office lady sitting next to you came into focus. 

"Excuse me, the next stop is mine," she said, and you quickly jerked your head off her shoulder.

"Oh my god, I'm so sorry." You dipped your head towards her by way of an apology, and she shook her head.

"No, it's really fine. Rough day?"

Oh. "Oh." Exactly what Akinari had said. But you had long since grown up, past the age where you'd sit and cry and wait for Minato to take your hand and try to comfort you. "No, not anymore." And when you said that, you genuinely meant it.

"That's good." She inclined her head a bit as a farewell, and got off. Some high schooler took her seat afterwards, and after stifling a yawn, you went on your phone to check on your gacha games. Junpei and Yukari had started a conversation in the SEES group chat about the Chidori tablet pen incident which Mitsuru miraculously had the time to respond to, and no surprise, took Chidori's side.

-

SEES

junpei 🍜

It's like u guys care more abt my gf than me

yukari 💖

Obviously.

Besides, it's not like she ACTUALLY threw away your Playstation.

You

haha, didnt she just threaten u thru it

junpei 🍜

Uh, YEAH, and it was terrifying

If u guys like her so much why dont u date her

You

is that permission from u

yukari 💖

You stand no chance if you open up the dating market, Junpei

junpei 🍜

Wait did u guys think I was serious

Don't date Chidori obviously she loves me the most

You

is that ur way of reassuring urself

Kirijo Mitsuru

Don't antagonize him.

You

yes boss!

u live another day, junpei

ken 🐕

What's this about Junpei's girlfriend...?

Did he get another one?

junpei 🍜

WHAT? NO

ken if u say that chidori might kill me

ken 🐕

Oh, sorry.

-

You smiled down at your phone, before the announcement for your stop came on. You shoved your phone into your bag and quickly pulled yourself up, yielding your seat to whichever lucky soul could clamber on first. 

Once you arrived home you kicked off your shoes at the entrance, making your way to to the fridge to see if there was anything worth making for dinner tonight. Seeing as there was nothing decent, you resolved to go shopping tomorrow. Meanwhile, your phone buzzed with messages from your Phantom Thief friends as you closed the fridge door. You offered a few sparse messages here and there to assure them you were listening, all while you pondered what to eat.

Well, you were in a nostalgic mood tonight. You scrolled down your contacts to find the name of a small, unassuming restaurant. It was coincidence you found it, really, since it had such a small crowd despite how talented its cook was.

"Hey, Hanasaki!" you quickly said, before she could respond with her typical greeting.

"Oh, it's you! What's up? Ordering again?" 

"Actually, are you guys busy? I want to talk to Shinji-senpai."

Hanasaki didn't take too long to respond. "No, it's a pretty quiet night. Aragaki is actually getting ready to leave now. Should I call him over for you?"

"That would be great! You're always so reliable." Though you couldn't see her, you could feel her puff up her chest in pride.

"Of course I am! Now wait here—Aragaki! Your friend is calling!" You could hear more of her shouting, growing fainter as she ran towards the kitchen. A woman after your own heart. Only she had the guts to go chase down Shinjiro despite his face always looking so scary. 

A moment later someone picked up the phone. "What is it?" came his gruff voice. 

"Shinji-senpai!" You couldn't quite hide the excitement in your voice. Though you didn't bother him a lot, you couldn't help but miss him at times. Besides, it was just you and him in Tokyo, and sometimes Yukari. "Do you have any plans tonight? I don't wanna make dinner today. Why don't you show off your professional skills for me and offer a free meal?"

He grumbled something under his breath which the phone couldn't pick up. "Why do you always call the restaurant? Hanasaki won't stop talking about you during work."

For this you already had an answer prepared. "Because you never pick up your actual phone! I've got to resort to getting Hanasaki to come get you."

"Yeah, yeah. Meet me at my apartment. If you arrive more than five minutes after me I won't be making you shit."

"Okay, see you!" You quickly hung up, grabbing your jacket from where you tossed it onto the couch. However, you stopped at the front door. The route to Shinjiro's apartment from yours was around ten minutes, and it took him fifteen to get home. Eh, definitely enough time to change your clothes into something more casual. It wasn't like he'd actually kick you out anyways, only make a show and relent once you pleaded with him once or twice.

Now, see, you were going to be just fine, with or without the weird Minato dreams. You tried convincing yourself of that, but for some reason, it didn't quite stick.

Chapter Text

It wasn't until you invited yourself into Minato's room one day that you remembered in the male protagonist route there was the option of gaming all day. And as things were, gaming meant getting an online gamer girlfriend, and that was a privilege you couldn't find a single possible way to fulfill. 

"Oh, you look like you're having fun," you said, leaning over to look at his monitor. "What game is this?"

"Innocent Sin Online," he replied. You tilted your head around this way and that trying to see if he snagged your composition teacher yet. So far, there was no one around. Good. Maybe you could run all the way back to your room and create a character to beat her to the bunch. 

Now, if he was Tatsuya and she was Maya you might as well be Jun... Yes, this could work. Because you were saving him from dating his own teacher. Because it's illegal. And for no other reason. Yes, of course. No ulterior motives whatsoever. You didn't like like him or anything.

But the only problem was you couldn't quite remember why you went into his room in the first place. No, there was definitely a reason...

"Oh!" You clapped your hands together. "I remember! Um, do you mind teaching me about Japanese history and composition? Like...everything. As if I've never learned anything about the two in my life. Haha." What you couldn't understand for the life of you was why you could speak perfect Japanese with extensive vocabulary but not have any knowledge of Japanese classes. Math and English and any of the sciences, sure, you could rely on what you already knew, but Japanese history? Japanese composition? You just knew how to speak and write Japanese out of some strange ingrained habit.

Minato, bless his soul, said, "alright. Right now?"

You waved your hand. "No, not right now. Maybe later tonight? After dinner? I'll try brushing up on it myself first." Well, now, you did know some things about Japanese historical figures. "If it helps, I know Hijikata and Okita! From Gintama. Gintama's already out, right? I feel like it's been out since it's 2009 right now. And I know Nobunaga from Fate. I mean, not Fate because KOHA-ACE isn't out yet, so ignore that."

And maybe it was the least of your concerns, but for a moment you were struck with the dizzying thought that all these games and shows you loved were things he'd never be alive for. No adding him on gacha games, or asking him to help clear out a part of The Last of Us. The first The Last of Us, not the second one, because everyone knows how that turned out. He wouldn't be around for any of the things you accidentally let slip.

"Do you..." Do you wish you had more time? Do you want to live past this year and the next? Do you want to trade places with me? "...do you want a snack or something as payment?"

He shook his head, though you wished he didn't. Minato could stand to be more selfish. Heaven knows he deserved much more out of this life than what was given to him. The bonds of friendship couldn't clothe him, feed him, save him from his duty as a martyr. And neither could you, so how could you take so much from him without giving anything back in return?

"Then I'll owe you one." Brushing the thoughts from your mind, you leaned forward to check out his screen. "...by the way, you're not going to get an online girlfriend, right?"

"I'm not," he said, very clearly and thoroughly, obviously understanding your implications. 

"Okay, we'll see. Are you into older women?"

"When's your birthday?" You stared at him. You let the words repeat in your mind again.

Evidently, you couldn't quite process it and faced him with your eyebrows drawn in. "What?"

After a few minutes of silence, the deadpan silent protagonist smiled behind a raised hand. Very slightly, mind you, the barest raise of the corner of his lips, but a smile nonetheless. A smirk. Were he more expressive, you had no doubt he would've snorted at you instead. You bristled a bit in well disguised embarrassment. Sure, have a laugh at the pitiful newcomer to this game.

"Oh haha, very funny, dear leader." Now was probably the time make your escape by going back to your room to get cracking on that Japanese history textbook. "Now if you'll excuse me, Tokugawa Ieyasu and I are gonna get to know each other. I'll let you get to milf hunting online."

Tokugawa Ieyasu was fine, but after a while more of reading, you came to the realization that besides cursory knowledge of the Japanese feudal system and Japanese imperialism, you had no clue about anything. This wasn't modern world history, this was Japanese history. The best you had to go off of was various anime boys and girls based off historical figures. And Bungou Stray Dogs. And also that one otome game about being dropped into the Sengoku period.

"I'm fucked," you let slip to Yukari at the couch in front of the tv show you were watching. "I don't know very much about Japanese history."

Without missing a beat she said, "no, don't worry, I'm sure you're better off than Junpei."

"Hey!" Junpei couldn't let that slide, of course. "See, at least I'm a proud Japanese citizen who knows...enough."

Now that was something you weren't as certain about. "Do I even have a visa...? More importantly, I am a Japanese citizen, right?" You had no memories, so you had to have faith you wouldn't suddenly get sent back to a home country, if there even was one.

Your crowd—Junpei, Yukari, and Minato, with a side of the senpais who were listening in—fell silent.

"Th-there's gotta be a way for you to check now, right...? How do you even not know this stuff?" Yukari was quick to chime in worriedly. Luckily, there was someone else with common sense, who was, dare you say it, a proper mature adult. 

"If anyone does have an issue with you being here, then let me know. I'll take care of it." Mitsuru, who had overheard your conversation, was very firm and resolute with her words. You nearly felt your heart leap out of your chest and were you not already smitten with a dead man, she would've completely won you over. 

"That's so nice of you, senpai! Do you do this for everyone with a citizenship crisis or just me?"

"You're a part of SEES now, so of course I'll keep an eye out for you." Right. Part of SEES. That should make you happy, but could you really accept it? You didn't deserve any of it, but...there was no reason any of them needed to know. It'd be your little secret: this guilt, this unfathomable sinking feeling in the pit of your stomach, you'd bury it all within your chest. It was yours and yours alone to bear.

You laughed good naturedly. "Well, I don't even know myself. Who knows? Maybe I really am a Japanese citizen, through and through."

Yukari sighed. "I sure hope so... Not that there's anything wrong if you're not, but I'd rather not have anything happen because of a passport or visa issue."

"No, I totally agree." You stopped, squinting at the table. "Wait, what were we talking about?"

"Japanese history, I think." Good ol Yukari to the rescue. "You'll be fine, right? Do you want me to share notes with you?"

While that would be nice, it wouldn't help your actual problem. "It's fine! My issue is I don't really have, ah, prior knowledge. Like I know there's Nobunaga and..." You were drawing a blank at the moment, which really didn't help your credibility at all. "...and Sarutobi Sasuke?"

Even Junpei looked worried for you. "Uh. I don't think that's someone."

So you managed to pick the one guy in Ikemen Sengoku who wasn't from the Sengoku period. But that was fine. There was someone else from Ikemen Sengoku you could think of. "...Akechi Mitsuhide?" 

"See, you got this!" Yukari could still be positive, even if you could tell she had since lost a lot of hope in you.

Maybe it was about time you asked your tutor for help. "Don't worry, I asked Arisato to fill me in since he always answers questions right in class. Speaking of, Arisato, wanna come tell me who Akechi Mitsuhide is?"

He agreed and afterwards you zipped up the stairs to his room with him, only to realize the real issue wasn't your abysmal knowledge of Japanese history, but the fact that you had no idea what to do in composition. The fact remained that, sure, you knew Japanese for some reason, but not grammar structure and the like. It just came to you when you wanted to speak. Thus, Minato had a hell of a time pulling off his whole quiet guy schtick while also trying to teach you everything you should've known. 

There was only one good thing to come out of this, you thought, and it was the fact that Minato was so busy trying to explain to you the difference between kanji, hiragana, and katakana he didn't have time to hit up that composition teacher of yours. No, it wasn't cockblocking—you were just making sure he didn't enter a relationship with his own teacher. It was only a mere coincidence you maybe, sort of, just a little had an itty bitty crush on said guy. 

"...are you listening?" you immediately snapped back to attention, eyes meeting his blue ones before you quickly turned away. If you stared a little too much he might catch on, and how embarrassing would that be? 

"I am, I am," you told him, nodding energetically. "We were talking about kanji. Like that one. Wen."

He took a look at the kanji you were pointing at. "Yutaka."

"What? Yukata?" He shook his head again, picking up his pencil to write the character. 温, you read off the page in his handwriting. "Oh...you guys pronounce it differently. Yukata."

"Yutaka," he repeated, and rewrote the kanji. For a moment you admired his deft strokes and clean way of writing. He even had you bested in handwriting. That wasn't fair. Sure, you had never really written in Japanese before, but you just knew if you tried to imitate him your kanji would turn out ugly. 

"Yutaka," you repeated after him. You scooted over to sit next to him, rather than across, picking up his pencil while ignoring the way your heart thrilled when you brushed his hand. Then you followed him, stroke by stroke, making your attempt to write the kanji.

Well, it looked...kind of pathetic. Kanji was the same as characters! Japanese was just hanzi with more squigglies. This was supremely unfair, your handwriting being nerfed in the presence of Minato. You turned your head to look up at him sheepishly, pulling off what one might consider a pro gamer move. As someone well experienced in love, this was a move alongside the greats, like "let's compare hand sizes" or "my hands are so cold, feel them". 

"Help me?" You wiggled your dominant hand holding the pencil. Minato didn't do anything for a moment, which immediately had you regretting testing out your moves. You could feel the cold sweat already forming on your back, but before you could laugh it off and go, well, nevermind, he did indeed follow through. That is to say, he held your hand within his and rewrote the kanji, stroke for stroke.

Thank god the backs of palms don't sweat, you thought to yourself, watching as Minato worked his magic and once again wrote a perfect looking yutaka. His hands were surprisingly warm, compared to your cold ones. The irony of that—a walking corpse having warmer hands than you—did not escape your notice. But you'd rather not think about that and all the heartbreak it would entail, so instead you let the feelings of young love overtake your guilt.

How sweet. You could have your own high school romance, set among the supernatural world of personas, and have it end with such a strong touch of sorrow you'd remember it for all your life.

"You have nice handwriting," you murmured. "Wow, your hands are warm. Mine are really cold, wanna feel?"

And if that method rang a little too insincere, if he noticed how selfish your intentions were, he said nothing. He took your hand and for a while longer, you relished in the warmth of a guilty first love. Instead of writing characters, you ended up trying to read a high level book to him while he patiently corrected you when you messed up. When it was eventually time to go to sleep, you bid him farewell, casually walked back to your room, and screamed into your pillow.

Hand holding! You held hands! And he let you! Was he soft on you or was he soft on everyone? You hadn't known each other that long, only a couple of months, but he was actually following along with what you said—and hand holding! The hand holding! Rolling around, you slammed into the wall a couple of times, but even that couldn't stop your momentum. If Minato kept being like this, no joke, you'd really end up liking him. With that thought in mind, you stopped rolling around.

Falling in love with someone you knew was going to die. That'd be like romancing Ryoji on a new game plus. At least Shinjiro could be saved, but...

No, no, you were a maiden in love. It was a bit of wishful thinking, but you hoped from the bottom of your heart you'd get a chance to meet Igor in person. It was unlikely, a dream you could never manifest, but...the thought of it, that maybe, just maybe, you could change that fate of his, gave you enough hope to put away the gloomy thoughts. With your mind a minefield of prior knowledge, the only saving grace you could offer yourself was the distant thought of redemption. You could deserve his love. And if he died, you would bear that sorrow in this life and the next.

Love. What love? You were only...it wasn't like you actually liked him or anything. You drifted off into sleep with that thought firmly planted in mind.

Otherwise, things went on as normal. You chatted with Yukari and Junpei when walking around together, glued yourself to Minato's side, and took plenty of photos. It was one of those slow days where you'd hang around with Minato while Yukari and Junpei were busy. Often, you wanted to ask him why he bothered going around with you when there were other social links to pursue, actual ones. But you enjoyed being able to spend time with him, so you never had the courage to ask. You only put on your raucous expression and acted as you always did; energetic, excitable, with your feelings on your sleeve.

"Hey, hey, take one of me here!" You pushed your prized camera into his hands, running to stand next to one of the stone dogs by the offertory box at the shrine. You quickly struck your most dynamic pose, complete with a v sign close to your face. Sure enough, he paused and held the camera up, taking a quick snapshot. You ran over to go see his handiwork, nodding satisfactorily seeing how photogenic he managed to make you look. "Okay, your turn!"

Sure enough, after he passed you the camera he leaned against the same stone dog you were posing next to, and after a moment's consideration also raised his hand in a v sign. Your influence was slowly spreading...then again, he was the only person actually willing to pose with shadows when you asked. Truly, if you weren't getting too big of an ego and misunderstanding, he had a soft spot for you. 

But that didn't matter now. You took around five photos, just in case one turned out bad, and waved him over to come check out the photos with you. When you went into the gallery to take a look, you grit your teeth. He looked good. Too good. Were you any more thick-skinned you would've just said it was your talent, but the whole thing was a little shaky. On the other hand, Minato had struck such a nice pose you could forgive the blurriness to just admire him. In, like, a platonic way.

Oh my god, you were in deep. You buried your head in your hands, letting Minato scroll through the camera gallery. When you got tired of berating yourself, you peeked through the openings between your fingers to see what he was looking at. He had stopped at your collection of shadow candids. 

"That one's good," you said, if only to fill the empty space. "Junpei managed to get it just right." Indeed, you were standing with one of those sword carrying golems. The sword it carried was only a blur as it came down right at you, while you were casually standing around, making a huge heart with your hands. Looking back at it incited the same panic everyone else felt at the time. You had escaped unscathed as soon as Junpei took the photo, so it was very much worth it. 

"You're not scared of anything," he said in return, looking at one where you were making kissy faces at the dancer shadow. That's not true, you wanted to say in response. In this world, I'm most afraid of losing you. Isn't that funny? I've known you for such little time but I love you the most.

"Of course not," is what you actually said. "Not when you're here! So you absolutely have to stay by my side, so I can get more of these pictures in the future."

Minato looked almost sad, staring at the camera roll full of pictures. You understood why, and you hated that you did. "You'll do just fine," he said.

I won't. "If you say so."

Chapter Text

pt groupchat for bastards

You

a nude painting? yikes

ill come with. sorry i couldnt make it today

takamaki ann

no, you had work!

Sakamoto Ryuji

Sheesh. He's a real piece of work too

Threatened to call the cops on us

You

sounds like u guys have ur work cut out for u

also, lmk whenever were infiltrating

ill bring my stuff :)

Kurusu Akira

Alright.

-

Sure enough, you got the memo a few days later for infiltrating the palace. Since they were finally treating you as somewhat of an equal, you'd have to do your best not to disappoint. The night before, you packed up all your things just as you did last time. Before you put your evoker away, you held it tightly in your hands.

"Minato, if you can even hear me from that big dumb door of yours, wish me luck, okay?" And mentally, you prayed you wouldn't dream of him once more. You hadn't dreamt of him since, but the suspicious lack of them only worried you further, like air filling a balloon, like a makeshift dam holding back the current.

Unfortunately, you plea had the opposite effect. That night, you stood by the seaside at Yakushima, holding a witch stone in your hands. Though it was dark, the moon faintly lit up the coarse sand and glittered along the dark seawater. There was a pleasant salty breeze rifling through your hair, and standing a few meters away from you stood Minato, silently listening to music in his casual wear. He watched you, with eyes a hint too dark to be his.

Oh, goodness, not another one of these. Saying that, however, you let your eyes trace his features one last time. Even if he were to curse you out, tell you how much he loathed you, maybe it was worth it, being able to see him again. With Igor's end of the deal still unfulfilled, this was all you had of him besides photographs. "Nice night," you commented, seeing if he'd respond.

He only nodded, eyes casting aside to look at the waves sweeping ashore.

"It'd be a shame if I drowned again. I mean, it'd get boring and repetitive a second time, wouldn't it?" You rubbed the surface of the witch stone with your fingers, tracing the inside of the hole. You already had an inkling why you held this stone in the first place, but you could play ignorant. 

But dreams often carried a narrative within them; that was to say at some point you'd have to fulfill your objective and wake up. Preferably not due to manslaughter by the love of your life, but if that were to happen, you'd have to just accept your end of the bargain.

"And you won't say anything until I finally do what I have to, right?" You sighed, finally holding your witch stone up. "For once, it'd be nice if you could say something romantic. It doesn't have to be much. Maybe a 'I missed you' would be enough." But of course, he said nothing. He wasn't your ex-boyfriend, but yet you still thought of him as much.

So you did what the natural conclusion to the witch stone and not-really-Minato was, and raised your witch stone to peer at him through the hole. In place of his face was a skull—which was funny, considering how he was technically a statue chained to a door and his body was cremated, so where did such a skull come from—

When the hand holding the witch stone dropped and his face went back to the mask of Minato, you finally noticed Orpheus behind him, lyre gripped firmly in its robot hands. Fake Minato finally said something, but it was nothing sweet nor romantic nor anything you wanted to hear, really. "Bash," he said, and though you knew it was a dream, your body went cold all over.

"Babe, surely you don't mean bash as in the skill, right? Right? You wouldn't do that to me?" When your hysterical pleas didn't get through his stupid thick fake skull, you immediately lunged to the side, before Orpheus's lyre could come crashing down upon you. That would be an instant death and instant way out of the dream, no thank you. You at least had some sense of self preservation. "Ah, seriously! Jumping right to killing me! You have absolutely no tact, you hear me?"

Minato drew out Thanatos. "What would you rather I say? 'This is all your fault. Repent for all eternity.'" You shook your head while Thanatos started swinging coffins down at you. 

"You've already done that, at the shrine. I know, what if you just gave me a hug and called it a day? Perfect plot twist, right?"

With a wave of his hand, Thanatos dissipated into mist. When he approached, he stretched out his hands. You viewed him with suspicion. "Do you really mean it?" But only a moment later, you dove into his arms, burrowing your head into the crook of his neck. "No take-backs." He only pat your back with one of his hands, in such a painfully familiar way. For a moment you deluded yourself into thinking this was one of the normal dreams, one of the ones you should be having, but...

"Are you happy?" he asked. "Is it better, not having me there?"

"What?" You stiffened up in his embrace. "No! I—"

"You seem to doing pretty well without me. Is that not true?" You removed your head from his neck in a rush, tilting your head up to meet his eyes desperately.

"Of course not! I love you, Minato, and I always will, so—"

In that moment you felt a thin blade pierce through your back, lodging itself through your heart. "Minato," you mumbled again, through the sharp pain digging itself through your chest. He leaned back down, mouth by your ear, in a criminal impression of your former boyfriend, now seal to Nyx.

"It's a shame," he said, voice all but a hushed whisper. "But if you can be happy without me, then I doubt you loved me at all." But before you could claim otherwise, beg him to reconsider, the you inside your dream closed your eyes and the you in reality opened them.

The phantom pain in your heart slowly eased away as you sat up, burying your face in your shaking hands. "I'm sorry," you mumbled, even if everything about that Minato was wrong and unlike the real one. "I'm so sorry. I do love you, so..." You knew he wasn't real, the thing visiting you in your dreams, but in the end, did that even matter? The words he said hurt all the same, especially when it was your subconscious berating you. But...maybe you deserved it.

Work was just like it was normally. You kept on enough cheerfulness to mask your not so cheerful mood and managed to get all your work done on time. Thank god Mitsuru owed both you and Minato enough for your job here to be stable. If anyone else came into work underperforming (not that you were!) they'd at least get it written up. Job perks from saving the world were just that good.

After you were done, you zipped off to the Phantom Thief hideout, which was literally just a walkway in plain sight. Like always, the group of teenagers who really should know better were planning on entering the palace in plain sight. "I'm begging you guys, please at least do it in an alleyway."

"It's fine!" Ryuji said. "No one's gonna notice. Don't worry 'bout it." Akechi sure will, you thought, but then again, guess you sort of needed that to happen. So alright, you'd have to bite back all your misgivings and let them walk right into Akechi's trap. You let them transport you into the palace, since someone's persona ran away so you couldn't get a metaverse app of your own. Whatever. You were a kind, patient persona user, and you could wait for Chang'e to come back. This was fine. You were fine.

Once you were in, your eyes moved to the space beside a harmless looking truck, where you knew the Velvet Room entrance to be. If it were any other situation, you'd go pounding on the space where the door should be, demanding Igor let you in like he promised. Alas, the real Igor was compromised so you only sent the empty space a forlorn glance, ignoring how Akira's gaze followed yours.

Of course, you had to grit your teeth and accept Akira's help once more to climb up the stone structures and walls. Just you wait...as soon as Chang'e realized how futile it was to run away you'd get yourself a cool looking Phantom Thief uniform and do cartwheels around the others. You clasped hands with Akira again, gripping a little harder than before while lost in your fantasies. They'd be like, wow, you had a persona? And then you'd cast Mediarahan even though everyone had full health just to show them how much SP you had. Wow, they'd say, you're so cool. We're sorry for underestimating you. And you'd reply, no, it's quite alright, I know how pathetic I must've seemed but it's all okay now. Someone who was in the party that defeated Nyx will now carry you through all the palaces.

You followed them back into the palace, and unfortunately, as the only one without gloves you were the only one who sustained rope burns from dropping down. "I'm fine," you said, eyes slightly teary as a result of your broken pride as a damn cat cast Dia over your palms. If it were you, you'd be blasting Diarahan without a care. Because you had so much SP to spare. Luckily, only after a few phrases of admonishment from the others did you all move on, sliding past the lasers and whatnot. Thank god you prepared a change of clothes and didn't have to go sliding around in your office attire. 

Taking your time looking around, you crashed into Akira, who turned around to place a finger to his lips. You peered over his shoulder to see—ah, yes, the prison guards. Back in your day, shadows were shapeless blobs that only took form once you hit it or it hit you. You almost said as much, but then realized no one in the group knew about your exploits. To them, you were just some random adult that found them out.

Akira, after making sure you all would stay put, went and jumped on the back of the shadow, tearing its mask off. It was first time you experienced it in person, and you made sure to put on a startled face. It wasn't hard, considering how much more disgusting it looked compared to the graphics on your Playstation. The fake body melted away, leaving behind three familiar looking shadows.

"Mokoi...?" you mumbled under your breath. Luckily, no one heard and your secret remained yours for another day. Well, well, well, now was surely your time to shine. You tapped your foot on the floor, waiting for your turn, and then—Akira nodded his head in your direction, and you found a grin spreading across your face for the first time today. 

You couldn't summon a persona, but you had an Evoker and naginata. This was it. You'd show them that you were just as good as you made yourself out to be, that their concerns were unnecessary. You could do it. Even without Minato, you were just as good, and just maybe, if you threw yourself into their fight and not yours, you could come out alright.

Wielding your naginata with the confidence of times long past, you took a running leap and swung your blade down in one smooth arc, knocking it down with a well-timed critical hit. Behind you, you could hear Ann, Ryuji, and Morgana make noises of surprise.

"Nice one!" Ann called. You stepped back, holding your naginata while smiling back at her.

"See? I haven't gotten rusty yet."

Akira nodded. "Good job." He then used a Garu skill, knocking down the other. Psh. So what if he knew the enemy weakness? You did too, at some point. Obviously, you weren't going to be much help now, but still! Physical attacks still had to count for something, and if not that, then you had your gun. As the only one with an actual real weapon, you had your own unique specialty.

Instead of initiating an all-out attack, Akira pointed his gun at the fallen shadows, as did his companions. Oh gosh, you nearly forgot that was a thing. High school students these days were so cruel, extorting poor shadows for money or items or their own bodies. You quickly rushed to pull out your evoker too, just to not feel left out. You watched as Akira initiated conversation with the Mokoi without hesitation, apparently picking the right things to say, since they pledged themselves to him not long after.

You tucked your evoker back into its holster. "That was kind of anticlimactic," you told him. "What are you, a thug? Shaking down these little stubby looking guys?"

He shrugged. "As long as it helps."

Well, as long as he cleared the palace. Speaking of clearing palaces, you couldn't help but recall a distinct habit of Minato's, one you had never spoken against because you were just as guilty of it. But now, considering you didn't have a whole team of people to swap places with to rest... "Kurusu," you said, smiling sweetly, "you wouldn't happen to be aiming to secure a route to the treasure in one day, are you?" He didn't reply. "Are you?"

Ryuji quickly jumped to Akira's defense. "It—it's not that bad! If you're tired, we can take a break, no problem! 'sides, at least he's efficient 'bout it! Haha..."

"Oh my god." You stuffed your head into your hands, knocking your evoker against your head for good measure. "We're all gonna get the sick status the next day..."

"Let's get a move on," Akira announced, already continuing his walk around. Before you could even react, he jumped onto another shadow, and with a sigh, you got right back into position with your evoker raised. God damn. You got stuck with the hardcore grinder type. Still, you followed along, swinging your naginata and shooting those damn shadows. 

With a couple critical hits you took out the lower level shadows trudging around, effectively ending the battle yourself. You had already brought back your habit of talking while casually swinging your naginata around, much to the worry of your new teammates, who were new to the whole persona thing and couldn't take it easy like you did. "Still slouching?" you directed at Akira, who had since tucked his hands into his pockets and shrimped his back. "Seriously, you're just like my boyfriend. He had the same habit."

You only realized your mistake after, and by god did it sting, especially after the morning's botched dream. Of course, the others didn't know any better. "You have a boyfriend?" Ann asked, hooking her whip back onto her hip. 

The grip on your naginata tightened, before you forced yourself to loosen your fingers. "I, uh, had one. We...don't really talk anymore." What was with this group and stepping on all your landmines?

"Oh." She at least seemed to realize how sore of a topic it was. "W-well, I think you deserve better than him!"

It's the other way around, Ann. You forced up the corner of your lip in a wry smile. "You think so? I'll have to tell him you said that." She nodded in response, and for a moment your group lapsed into silence as the five of you snuck around the palace under Akira's lead. After the whole laser security debacle featuring Morgana sticking his dumb paws where he shouldn't, you made it to the final checkpoint of the day. Mentally, you let out a huge sigh. That's right, no way could Akira actually try to clear the palace in a day. He had the game cockblocking him instead of his own morals.

Though you had to admit: gaudy as his palace was, those doors blocking off the rest of the palace were really pretty. Might be enough to make you some serious money if you were to drag it back to reality. Alas, the Phantom Thieves shared not your adult passion for making money, and you could only bid farewell to those ridiculously ostentatious peacock feather doors.

You all filed out the palace in a row like a couple of kindergarteners, and listened to Morgana explain how to get the door to open. As everyone turned on Ann about her nude modeling so they could get in, you quickly joined in the conversation. "No question, invite me along too. I can help you distract and bring him off topic. Plus, he can't say no if you play up the female solidarity, right?"

"As long as we get in, I don't care about the details," Ryuji added. "So...Ann...whaddya say?"

"Seriously?" She huffed, but turned to you gratefully. "...please go with me. I don't care what you have to do but I'm not going to go nude!"

"I have your back!" And plenty of foreknowledge. "Wear plenty of layers first, and I'll take care of the rest."

-

pt groupchat for bastards

takamaki ann

also, i asked yusuke abt letting you come along....

Attached: [IMG_4200]

Sakamoto Ryuji

The hell does it doesn't concern me mean???

You

well....guess im going!

ill see you guys there tmr?

Sakamoto Ryuji

You know it! 

-

Afterwards, you received a call from Sae. She had originally called to check in on you since you hadn't talked in a while, but after a bit of prodding you got her to somewhat vent a bit about her job to you. She only realized right after, and apologetically said, "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to unload all of that on you."

Being such a simp, you immediately reassured her. "No, don't be sorry. I know it must be tough working in a male dominated industry, and as your friend, I'm always here for you to talk to. Besides, I like hearing you talk!" She didn't speak for a moment, and you froze. Too much?

Your worries were unfounded, however, because you then heard a small chuckle from her side. "Is that so? ...thank you. I admit, I don't have a lot of friends to confide in, so I appreciate that you're willing to listen."

"Anytime!" The thought struck you, weird as it was: wasn't Akira telling Sae about all this? Man, you'd really have to go apologize to her and simp extra hard so she wouldn't hate you. "Should we meet up again sometime? I'd love to see you!"

Sae let out a quiet sigh. "I've been a little swamped with work recently... Could we make plans later?"

"Of course! Hit me up whenever you'd like. I've got plenty of free time." 

"Then I will. Goodnight." You bid her goodnight as well, flopping back onto your bed, holding your phone up close to your face. The WikiHow article you were looking at before Sae called had your sullen looking face reflected in it. 

You closed the tab, rolling into bed after plugging your phone in. "Yeah right. Like WikiHow's gonna help with my specific situation," you mumbled, turning over and praying you'd go dreamless that night. You did, but you couldn't shake the feeling you were trying to seal a leak in a sinking boat with anything but Flextape.

Chapter Text

To your surprise, September came by in a flurry. You had greatly underestimated how fast time could go by with just your normal school days. Sure, there was also Tartarus and full moon shadow slaying (to your great reluctance) but that kind of stuff went by even faster. You'd do your best in subduing the full moon shadows, trying not to think about how this was just doing exactly what Ikutsuki wanted. And on that note, you made sure that slimey, treacherous sleazebag took the brunt of your sharp tongue and insults.

Minato was a lot better than you in that he treated Ikutsuki as normal. No side glares, no spitting at him, absolutely nothing. You didn't understand him. That guy was the reason Nyx was coming back and he'd eventually have to give up his life to put her back, so at least some hostility should be guaranteed. But there was nothing. For that, you were extra mean to Ikutsuki just to make up for Minato's lack thereof.

So...September. You had an actual physical calendar since it was good ol 2009 and you did not make enough for a damn iPhone. A few dates you had painstakingly recalled from your deteriorating memory to mark down. Others you had to write a vague note at the top of the month for. September had one of those notes.

Find Shinjiro's watch!!!!! it read, with plenty of underlining and stars around it. Well said, past you. And rest assured, you would find that watch and you would make sure Shinjiro made it out alive, if you couldn't get Ken to change his mind. You nodded to yourself, making a fist and and holding it up. This was all up to you, since saving Shinjiro and Chidori was PSP only.

There was a knock on your door. "Are you up yet? If you don't hurry, we're going to be late."

Aw, shit, you hadn't finished buttoning up the school uniform. "Sorry! I was having this great dream." You swung the door open while you continued buttoning up your shirt. "So imagine if there was a tornado but inside the tornado were a bunch of sharks—"

"We're going to be late and your shirt isn't even properly on?" Yukari cried, quickly rushing to help you button from the top. "Not to mention—"

"I know what you're going to say, but Junpei kinda sorta has a girlfriend. Also, this is basically a bikini, so—"

"It's really not!" She finished buttoning everything up before you even finished fumbling with one button. "I swear, the moment I think maybe you're getting used to getting up earlier..."

"Hey, we haven't been late yet!" Junpei came to your defense. "So, uh, we should probably run for the sky train now."

Sure enough, all that running around Tartarus really helped prepare you for running to catch up to the sky train. You collapsed into the nearest seat to catch your breath, waving around your red ribbon with a few lazy flips of your hand. Forget it, you'd just ask Yukari to do it for you. Or maybe Aigis. She had to go to school earlier than you did, because of schedules and sorting things out and whatnot. You, on the other hand, cut it far too close trying to get to school every day.

Minato plucked the ribbon from your hand. "Face me for a second." You did as he asked, and with a few deft movements threaded the ribbon through your collar and tied it into a perfect bow. Junpei let out a low whistle from behind you as Yukari sighed at his actions. 

For a moment you wanted to scream into your hands, but valiantly you resisted the urge and pat him a couple of times on his shoulder. "Don't worry," you reassured him, pretending your heart hadn't gone fifty miles an hour just a few seconds ago. "Imagine thinking tying someone's ribbon is worth whistling for. Junpei's just being horny."

"Uh, who's being horny?"

"In fact," you continued, ignoring Junpei, "here, let me tie yours. You're not saying anything, so I'm gonna do it." When you looked up and him and he didn't react, you took your chance and untied his thin navy ribbon. Okay. You got this. Tying a ribbon was easy. You just had to resort to your old pal, the bunny ears method...

Though you spent the whole ride over fussing over his ribbon, the end result was...less than stellar. For some reason it always looked crooked, so thank god it was a ribbon and not a tie. You gave up as the sky train came to a stop, hopping off your seat rather gracefully for someone who couldn't even tie a bow. "Nevermind, you should probably redo that. What if Odagiri marks you down for dressing sloppy?"

"He wouldn't." You made a face at that, but accepted his hand as he led you off the sky train and down the street. Behind you, Yukari and Junpei exchanged sharp words and casual laughter. It was a nice day, and the sun seemed to set the whole street aglow in its light. When you turned to look up at Minato, he curiously looked back at you.

September. There was a surprise waiting for the both of you at the end of this month, but it couldn't really be a surprise if you both know what was to come. Shinjiro dead or comatose, Ken and Akihiko grieving, and four more months until the end of the world. Four more months for you to spend time with him. You gripped his hand tighter. "We'll be okay," you said, reassuring not him but yourself. 

Since Minato was Minato, he probably didn't know that Shinjiro could be saved by hanging out with him then finding his pocketwatch. Good thing you were here to save the day! Well, you said that, but the extent to which you could help out was...limited. Shinjiro and Chidori, certainly, but you and everyone who knew you could understand there was someone else you wanted to save.

Aigis was waiting at the front gate. Her eyes zeroed in on Minato's, before trailing down to his neck.

"Your ribbon appears to be crooked," she announced. "Shall I fix it for you?"

He shook his head slightly. "It's alright." Behind him, Junpei sneered, face contorted in such an obnoxious way you longed to smack the back of his head with a well aimed fist.

"Is it cause your girlfriend tied it for you? Man, who knew you were so sappy? Right, Yukari?"

"I think it's sweet of him to spare her feelings," she said, before she froze and turned to you. "Uh. No offense. Do you want to tie my ribbon too...?"

Though you pretended to be offended, you really couldn't be mad at her. "You guys just can't appreciate modern art. Come on, let's get to class before I get chalk thrown at me again." Chalk throwing was fun business. Since you sat right behind Minato, you had come up with a tally of times Minato either caught the chalk or dodged it and let you get hit. It seemed to vary depending on his mood and the teacher. 

Once you entered the classroom, the guy sitting next to Minato took a look at his ribbon and frowned. "What's up with that? Normally you have it perfectly tied." You could spare Junpei's feelings, but not your classmate's. You fisted your hand and lightly whacked his head. 

"I did it, got a problem?" 

The classmate looked at you, then Minato. "Oh, so it's like that."

"Yes, it's like that." You sat back down, but tapped your boyfriend on his shoulder. "Hey, how come you haven't redone it? I'm not saying it cause my feelings are hurt. My feelings aren't hurt."

He fingered the end of the ribbon. "I like it this way," he said, and your classmate blanched. 

"Ugh. Don't make the rest of us singles jealous," or so he said, but he laughed all the while. Meanwhile, you buried your face in your hands as you smacked your head against your desk. You'd go home and practice on Junpei. If he choked here or there cause you yanked too tight, that was on him for having such a thick neck. 

On your way to lunch with Minato, he ran into Hidetoshi, who was coincidentally walking by. He stopped after his eyes wandered down to the ribbon tied around Minato's neck. "By the way, your ribbon looks more crumpled than usual. Did something happen?"

You would not raise your hand against Hidetoshi. You would not raise your hand against Hidetoshi. "Unfortunately, I happened."

He faced you, eyed your own red ribbon, and nodded as if he understood everything. "I see. It's not my job to police uniform regardless." As soon as Hidetoshi left you turned on Minato, jabbing a finger into his chest as a warning. 

"I'm telling you, for the greater good, you should retie that ribbon." Yes, so what if the real reason no one ever commented on your ribbon was because Yukari always found the time to quickly tie it for you in the morning? So what if your efforts were ultimately unappreciated? The greatest charm of the Gekkokan uniforms weren't in the ribbons. It was the cute jackets on the female uniform that unfortunately did not look good unbuttoned. But since you were still in summer uniforms, you didn't have the jacket to offset the ribbons. Damn. You were outplayed.

Minato, for the most part, only looked down at his ribbon again. "It looks fine to me."

It did not look fine. You glared at him, but upon meeting his eyes, couldn't keep glaring. If he wanted to drain you of all your money to spend on, like, in game purchases or whatever, you'd probably cave in eventually. It was a very good thing the only person who cared enough about gaming to spend real money was...you. Oh my god. You were the one most likely of draining him of money for in game purchases.

"Ah! Seriously!" You huffed, but turned away, fiddling with the buttons on your shirt. "Fine, have it your way. I'm not claiming responsibility if someone else brings it up." 

After school, you followed Minato to Akihiko. So what if this was a cutscene for the protagonist? You wanted in on meeting Shinjiro. Akihiko understood at much, seeing you clinging onto Minato, and sighed. "Well, I guess one more can't hurt."

"Yeah, let's go already, senpai." But just so your wheedling wouldn't get him mad, you grinned at him with the same charm that snagged you a whole protagonist. Akihiko looked unaffected. Were you perhaps losing your charm? No way. Really? You contemplated that as you let Minato walk you to Hagakure Ramen, muttering into your fist. "Is it cause of that white hair I found the other day? No way...is it from stress or aging? Am I turning into a hag?" You only came out of it when Minato gently elbowed your side. You looked up to see the one and only Shinjiro. Unwillingly, you got teary just seeing your boy disgruntled and awkward, but very much alive.

"You one of the persona users?" You nodded vigorously. 

"Yes! Nice to meet you, Shinjiro-senpai."

He scowled. "That's Aragaki to you." Luckily, Akihiko took your side this time.

"Don't worry about it, Shinji. She's...probably Japanese, so maybe it's a cultural thing."

"Probably?" 

"Hopefully!" you chirped back, and stretched out a hand for him to shake, a la American style. He stared at your proffered hand with a lot more hesitation than you'd like, as if he were looking at a cockroach rather than a limb. You wiggled your fingers, looking at him meaningfully.

Eventually, he looked at Akihiko, you, then Minato, and sighed. "Whatever," he grumbled, taking your hand and giving you a firm grip as you shook his hand excitedly. "Isn't a handshake supposed to be firm? The hell are you doing here, then?"

"Sorry, I'm just excited to meet you." You took back your hand, gluing yourself back to Minato's side. "Let's go back now!"

Before the four of you turned back to walk back to the dorm, Shinjiro took a look at Minato's ribbon. You tightened your vise grip on his arm. Were this any more of a slapstick comedy you might've broken a bone or two with how tight you were clinging. Don't say it, you chanted to yourself, don't say it, don't say it...

"What's up with your ribbon?" Shinjiro tilted his chin towards the ribbon in question. "Did you get into a scuffle or something?"

And he said it. That was it, you and Junpei needed some friendly bonding time so he could be your test subject in tying the perfect bow. The bunny ears method was not inferior, you knew it. Minato was one of those types who would tie his shoes with the stupidly elite circle method. Junpei had to be a loop and swooper. He had that energy. And Shinjiro had probably never tied a ribbon his entire life. 

Minato's eyes met yours for a moment. "My girlfriend tied it."

"Your girlfriend..." Shinjiro followed his line of sight, before scoffing. "So you two even have time to date?" 

"If we didn't, I'd make time, senpai." This, you delivered in a smooth, even tone. You had less time than Shinjiro could ever imagine. Four months, and then what? You'd forget everything until the day he died? There was so much more you wanted from him. You wanted to grow old with the only person you had ever loved...so yes. You had time to date. You had all the time in the world to date—or so you could hope.

Shinjiro clicked his tongue, but said nothing more. You watched him stalk off first, Akihiko following behind, before you and Minato followed the two senpai. "I was telling the truth," you told him, just in case.

"I know." And what gentle acknowledgement. "...I'd do the same." It took you a moment to think back on what you said to realize what he meant. Well, wasn't that a sure sign of a strong relationship. And it was! For each other, you could make all the time in the world—five months starting from then, to be exact. It'd have to do.

A couple evenings later, you found Shinjiro loitering around the back of the dorm's first floor. Minato was walking Koromaru with Fuuka, and it wasn't like you were always clinging to him. Besides, you had a much more ambitious goal: you'd become fast buddies with Shinjiro and get him his pocketwatch back. There was no one dying on your watch, if you could help it. 

"Shinjiro-senpai!" You approached him with a bright smile. "Are you busy? Let's go out for food!"

...with that, Shinjiro was surprisingly easy to win over. It helped that you were the chipper, energetic type, just like you imagined the female protagonist to be like. You had Minato come along sometimes, but you found it enjoyable to talk to Shinjiro with or without your boyfriend. 

This time, you tapped his shoulder from his seat nearby the kitchen. "Senpai, can you teach me how to make omurice?"

"Omurice?" He had that perpetual scowl on, but it only felt endearing to you at this point. "Why?"

"Well..." You tapped your fingers together. "I wanna learn how to make it for Ken. You can teach me, right? You're the best cook I've ever known!"

He clicked his tongue. "Flattery will get you nowhere," he muttered, but he stood up anyways to amble to the kitchen. "Fine. But only because I know you're going to pester me until I do it."

What a softie. You laughed anyways, hiding your wide smile behind a hand. "Aw, am I that predictable?"

"You are." He opened the fridge. "And it's empty."

"Let's go buy some stuff then! Rice, eggs, scallion..." You ticked off a few ingredients on your fingers, following Shinjiro to the dorm entrance. "...ketchup? And maybe spam?" 

"None of that preservative shit," Shinjiro was quick to interject. "Where's the nearest store?"

"Uh..." You rattled off directions to the place you and Minato frequented. Or, well, you tried to from memory. Seeing your struggle with figuring out left and right, Minato got up from his seat at the couch to walk over with his hands in his pockets, the very image of casual coolness. Then, in your place, he faced Shinjiro and told him the directions, obviously having no faith in you. You pounded a fist lightly on his back, puffing your cheeks out in anger.

"I can remember the directions too!" He turned to face you, and you liked to think yourself an expert in his expressions by then. Fondness sparked across his face, as impassive as it was. It was in the tilt of his eyebrows and warmth in his eyes, and you couldn't help but replicate that same softness in your own expression. 

He let out a sigh, but his were more like quiet exhales compared to the deep, tired ones Shinjiro had. "Last time you went out yourself we had to get everyone to look for you."

Ah, yes, the infamous three hour SEES search party. "But I get home from school just fine! The grocery store is nothing."

"That's because you have it memorized by muscle memory," he pointedly murmured. 

The problem, really, wasn't that you didn't have a sense of direction, but that you had been thinking about the future. You couldn't exactly tell him that you were so engrossed in your thoughts and daydreams of a day six years in the future where you could stand by his side and play your favorite games together you had wandered off without realizing.

"Maybe you're right," you told him. No sense in ruining the mood. "Well then, Shinjiro-senpai, you can lead the way!" 

He did indeed lead the way, and after he nagged at you to pick out the best produce, he thankfully shouldered most of the bags, leaving you with just one. "You sure you don't need me to hold more, senpai?" you asked on the way back.

"I'm not that weak," he bit back, and his footsteps slowed as he waited for you to catch up. "More importantly, how slow are you going to walk?"

"Sorry!" you broke into a half sprint again. "Normally Minato matches my pace. When we're not going to be late for school, that is."

"...that so?" And for some reason, he slowed down as well, his eyes darting over to your feet in an attempt to replicate your footsteps. It was a clumsy effort, but you appreciated it nonetheless. 

Despite yourself, you quietly laughed to yourself. "Are you this nice to everyone, senpai?"

"...none of your business."

Chapter Text

Would it be rude to say you were already tired of the Phantom Thieves? Maybe a little. The thought of the four or so palaces after Madarame's really gave you a headache. Goodness, were you going to have to follow this ragtag team of kids without even a persona to make things easier for you?

"Ah, Yusuke, turn around." You crossed your legs and returned your attention to your phone, before realizing you used his first name out of habit. "Sorry, Kitagawa, I'm used to using first names."

"It's fine," he said. "You should hurry though, Takamaki. Sensei will be back at any time."

"Well, don't rush her." Though you were still on your phone, you kept a close eye on Yusuke. "It's pretty embarrassing having to strip in front of someone you don't know, especially in an open room. Don't you have any doors with locks?"

"Y-yeah!" Ann added, taking her time getting one of her many layers of clothing off. 

"With a lock...? Only sensei's room has a lock, but..."

Closing the tab you were on, you tucked your phone back into your bag before facing Yusuke. "But? Models are people too, you know, so you should respect her wishes. Where's the room?"

Yusuke quickly shook his head. "It would be rude to intrude...not to mention I don't have the key."

Ann whispered to Morgana. You quickly spoke over Ann and Morgana as to not give them away. "Do you not? Well, no worries." Getting up, you sent a stare in Ann's direction, which she miraculously understood, and she quickly stepped out of the room too, whispering for Morgana to hurry. "So, where's the bathroom?"

"The bathroom?" Yusuke hurried over, no doubt trying to follow Ann out of the room to prevent her from going all around the place. "It's...well...you have to turn down this hallway..."

"This one?" You dragged him over as Ann quickly ducked down the hallway where the door was. Yusuke turned to her and jerked for a moment, but you kept your grip ironclad. 

"W-Wait, Takamaki!" You tugged on his sleeve harder. 

"So, Kitagawa, where's the bathroom?" At least this way Ann wouldn't have to try her ridiculous seduction technique. "I won't know which door it is unless you point it out."

Rather reluctantly he did, and you opened the door, as if you didn't trust him. "Alright, so it is the bathroom."

"Yes, now if you'll excuse me..." he quickly turned around to follow after Ann, and you followed right behind him. He turned around, looking confused. 

"Excuse me, weren't you..."

Heh. It was the oldest trick in the book. "I never said I needed to use it, did I? Just to keep it in mind." You quickly stepped ahead of Yusuke, poking your head around the corridor to see Ann holding Morgana up, who was lockpicking with his paws. Ann quickly shook her head, so you turned right back around. 

"What's the room down there used for?"

"Where's Takamaki?" he asked. You crossed your arms and blocked his path with your body. 

"Getting her clothes off. Right, Ann?" 

"R-right!" she called, as Morgana continued to fuss around with the lock. You turned back to Yusuke, whose face was contorted in worry. Probably dreading having Madarame come back to see a naked girl right outside his locked door. "S-so, can you just wait a bit? I gotta...uh...get myself ready! Yeah!"

And now you'd have to buy just a bit more time. "So you might as well just do it in there, right?" You tilted your head in the direction of the fancy door. "I mean, Ann's going out of her way putting herself in this situation for you, so it's up to you to make sure she's comfortable. Isn't that right?"

"Well...yes, but..." 

"I know you have a lot to consider too, but you believe in your sensei, right? Is he really going to be mad because you need privacy and he didn't bother installing locks on any other rooms?"

"Even so, I...I can't betray his trust like that!"

You paused, and almost subconsciously, placed the tips of your fingers against your lips. "Trust?" you said. "You believe he trusts you?"

"What? Of course I do!" He thrust his hand forwards in a sweeping motion. "I don't know what you're trying to imply, but—" Madarame's voice rang out from the entrance, but you didn't panic like the others did. This was all within your realm of calculation. You understood what was going to happen far better than the others. In a sense, that set you far apart from them, just as it did in high school. But this time, no one had to die because of your inability to change the future.

"Trust," you repeated, waiting for Morgana to finish lockpicking. "Don't worry, Kitagawa. You'll soon find out what I mean." Behind you, a telltale click sounded. There was nothing more for you to say now. So you followed Ann and Morgana into the dark, pulling Yusuke in along with you.

The rest was to be expected. Revealing the truth of Sayuri to Yusuke, him calling security, then the rest of you running off to launch yourselves into the metaverse, all according to memory. This time, you quickly landed on your feet to catch Ann instead of Yusuke, who landed in your arms. You only buckled a little under her weight, but mentally, your confidence took a huge hit. You underestimated Minato's skinny stick arms for carrying you whenever you took a running leap at him. 

"O-oh, thank you!" you quickly set Ann down as soon as she got her bearings. "I'm glad you were there. That would've really hurt otherwise..."

"Who are you all?" Yusuke got up a lot faster considering he hadn't been shoved away this time around. His eyes turned to you and he frowned. "I recognize you. Does that mean the rest of you all are..."

Ann launched into a quick explanation Yusuke had no choice but to accept. Before you all attempted to leave, however, Yusuke stopped to look in your direction. "What about you?" he said. "Everyone else here has a...costume of sorts, but you're still dressed exactly the same."

"Well..." I had a persona and her name was Chang'e, but she's gone so I don't get to play dress up like the rest. I'm not even supposed to be here. I forced myself into a story I have no business playing a role in. "I ended up here by accident, but as an adult, I've gotta take care of these kids, right? You all may have terrible experiences with adults, but no matter what you may think of us, I still believe our job is to take care of those younger than us."

Ryuji nodded. "And you're real killer with the naginata too!"

"Naginata?" Yusuke slowly followed the rest of you through the museum. 

You laughed sheepishly. "Well, I also help out with fighting. I don't have a persona, but I know how to use the naginata."

"That's...a unique skill." You all filed out of the museum as fast as you could without compromising Yusuke, only stopping once cornered at the entrance. The rest was just waiting for Yusuke to awaken his persona as you jealously watched from behind. Look at him using bufu and all that. Mitsuru could do that. Only problem was you couldn't exactly call her and have her take care of Phantom Thief business, so you had to watch the new kid use his persona while mourning the loss of your own. Chang'e, if you're there...

Afterwards, you ended up at a cafe with them, which was a far better choice than discussing the Phantom Thieves at the Shibuya walkway. You ordered a parfait for yourself, seeing how nice it looked on the menu. The couch was a little small, since you had to squeeze in next to Akira and Morgana sat a little in front of you, but it was all forgivable. Anyways, the parfait had some weird clear jelly in there. You poked at it with a spoon, before taking a bite. 

"...so what do you think?" Huh. Normally you just sat back and let them talk about Phantom Thief stuff without you. They'd always arrive at the right conclusion without you, so it wasn't like you needed to interfere.

"Is there any question? Let's steal his heart." You finished up the rest of the parfait. "Do you want anything, Yusuke? I'll pay."

"Why, yes, I would appreciate some black bean jelly." You realized, once again, that you slipped up and referred to him by first name again. 

"You guys don't mind if I call you guys by your first name, right?" You called another waiter over in the meantime, grabbing the menu again. "I've been in Japan for a while, but I still can't get used to it. Yes, one black bean jelly and another parfait. You're out of ingredients? Okay, I'll take a strawberry Mont Blanc. Yes, refills for the others please. Thank you very much."

As soon as the waiter left, the rest awkwardly stared at you. You stared back. "What?"

"You're not gonna make us pay, are you?" Ryuji asked.

"Of course not! I have a respectable salary. So, about the first name thing..."

They all exchanged looks. "I don't mind," Akira said first.

"Yeah, it's cool," Ryuji added. "But you're not from Japan?"

Oh, back to this topic. You cleared your throat. "Well, I think I'm not. I'm not sure, though, and I don't have parents to ask, so it's a real mystery to me."

"What? How do you not know?" Ryuji's face paled. "Wait, no parents?"

You nodded. "That's right, you guys don't know. Yeah, they died in a car accident when I was young."

Maybe you were too used to all your friends being orphans or having a dead parent too, because everyone but Yusuke looked at you awkwardly. "Oh, you guys don't have to look like that. Really, it's not a big deal. All my high school friends are missing one or both of their parents."

"I, uh, don't think that's normal..." Ann added. "Sorry."

"Definitely not!" SEES was a special case. "But regardless, it's good to be working with you guys."

"Yeah. Same here." You split up after chatting for a bit more and adding Yusuke's number. After giving Morgana one more scritch under the chin, you waved at him from Akira's bag. No wonder he had such good arm strength, having to carry Morgana around all day. Yusuke caught up to you a moment later.

You turned back at him. "What's up?"

"I have a question," he said, straightening up. "Earlier today, before Madarame arrived at home...you said I'd find out soon what you meant about trust. You were right. Madarame doesn't trust me at all...he only thinks of me as his pawn." His face contorted in a terribly pained way. "How did you know?"

There was a lot you could say to Yusuke. In fact, you could tell him anything but the truth. "Some things you shouldn't question," is what you decided to say. "But in this case, I'm sure you knew as well, but you just didn't want to acknowledge it. And with our plan, there's no way he wouldn't reveal his true nature in front of you. That's all."

"Is that so...thank you. I'll see you." Yusuke left after that, and you watched him go, before you went on your way as well. You had a treasure to secure the route for soon, and knowing Akira, he'd complete the rest in one day. Sure enough, he called the rest of you in the next available day, and all of you ventured into Madarame's palace once more.

For some reason, though, he kept you in the frontline. You asked him as much, during a break in one of the safe rooms.

"You seem to have experience," he said. Though you refused to let it show on your face, you were starting to feel a little threatened. You had let your guard down too much. Was he really catching onto your backstory? Haha, no way... 

"You think so? Maybe I'm a natural." At least all those years had taught you the art of lying better. No longer were you the easily readable wooden block from back then. "Why don't we get going? The treasure's just that way."

He nodded, and you were the last to leave the safe room. As soon as he turned his back to you, you smacked a hand to your forehead. Showoff. It wouldn't do for you to be found out so early, and Akira was probably the smartest of the group. 

Otherwise, finding the treasure went smoothly. You exited the palace with the rest of them, having given Yusuke the task of designing the next calling card. You'd help out with drafting it, and the Morgana would drop it off. 

On the actual day of the heist, you waited next to Akira with your naginata in hand and evoker in bag. Since you needed a bag for your evoker anyways, you volunteered to be pack mule. That meant Akira routinely shoved a few dozen soft drinks in your bag for SP, which you couldn't find it in you to berate him for. 

"Are you worried?" he asked, seeing you trace up and down the hilt of your naginata. You turned back to him, shaking your head slightly. 

"I can't say I'm not, but I know you guys will be fine." It felt almost like the days before full moons, but even those days worried you far more. You went into the fight knowing each success meant a step closer to humanity's—and Minato's—demise. But Madarame? He was nothing. 

As soon as Morgana stole the fake painting and everyone grouped together, you followed them around the outside of the museum to the courtyard. When Madarame showed up, you readied yourself, only to have Akira raise his arm to hold you back. "We'll take care of this," he quietly told you, confident smile on his face, and before you could protest, the rest of the group nodded along with him.

What could you do? You weren't the leader of SEES all those years ago, and you certainly weren't the leader of the Phantom Thieves. So you hung back, keeping an eye out on their battle, unable to contribute. Logically, it made sense. You were the only one without a persona. The rest of them, no matter how new they were to fighting shadows, had a fragment of their psyche they could call up to fight for them. But you did too, at some point. And now you were just a normal adult. 

Even if the Phantom Thieves would always stop every couple of statements of 'shitty adult' to go, oh, no, not you, it still hurt more than it should. And even if you knew why you couldn't join the boss fight, because you lacked the ability to properly fight back and take a hit. Useless. Why would you even bothering joining the Phantom Thieves if you were just going to get in the way?

Before you realized, you found yourself squatting on the ground, feet flat against the floor, hugging your knees to your chest. If this were a dream, a good one, or the conclusion of a fantasy you had perfected, you'd have Minato kneeling beside you, hand in yours. He'd tell you that it was fine, it was beyond your control, that you had done your best and that was enough for this. Enough for you, enough for the Phantom Thieves. Anyone would be welcome in this situation. You were old enough with enough control over your emotions to not feel your eyes prickling with tears, but it came close.

Were you really this weak? This useless? To have nothing to contribute to a ragged group of teenagers, but to have taken so much pride in having been their predecessor just moments prior...how pitiful. 

Someone was calling your name. You looked up to see Akira facing you. Your eyes skittered to behind him, where Madarame lay flat on the ground. All of a sudden, you realized that the whole palace was shaking, falling apart, and you had been sitting there for god knows how long. "You okay?" he asked, hand outstretched.

It was fortunate you weren't anyone else, who would've taken that hand as a saving grace. You were thankful to Akira, no doubt—you took his hand, and he pulled you towards the Monamobile—but you understood that just because he happened to help you out in your hour of need didn't mean you needed to put him up on a pedestal. 

After exchanging contact information with Yusuke outside of the palace at the Shibuya walkway, Akira stayed behind for a moment, and you curiously stopped as well. The rest had already moved on, hoping to get home before the sun fully set. As such, you waited with Akira in the dim afternoon sunlight. "Is there anything I can help with?" were your words. Your own way of returning the favor. He met your eyes, then looked away, shaking his head.

You couldn't help but sigh a little, more fond than exasperated. "Where'd all that leader charisma go?" you asked. He was back to acting meek again, quiet and unassuming. He met your eyes once more, before he began messing with his bangs for a moment. 

"Temporary hiatus," he replied. 

Really, what were you going to do with him? "Back to talking in two words, I see. Well, if there's nothing I can help with, I'll head home now." You adjusted your bag's strap, shaking out your feet to prepare for the train ride home. "And...one more thing. Thanks for earlier."

This time he met your eyes, through his thick glasses, and didn't look away. "Of course." 

From one wild card—or someone well acquainted with one—to another, you wanted to say, I really mean it. 

You resemble someone I used to know, you wanted to say. Why do you look so much like him?

Since you're just like him, tell me: would you have forgiven me? Am I allowed to move on, just like that?

"I'll see you around, Akira." Unlike Minato, you could tell this was Akira's first time around. No doubt he wouldn't be as receptive to your meta commentary like the latter was. He nodded in response to you, and you moved on, thinking to yourself what to make for dinner.

If you didn't know any better, you might've thought you were one of his social links.

Chapter Text

You had always been aware of Shinjiro's cooking skills, but you had to admit, you had your reservations at first. Omurice, after all, was one of those things you had never actually seen, and you had been spoiled by anime omurice. That is to say, you would only accept the finest omurice that could match up to your mental image.

And Shinjiro delivered on all fronts. First, he actually taught you how to cook omurice. If you were being honest, you were definitely easier to teach than Fuuka. Still, you had never actually made Japanese cuisine before.

"I cooked the rice," Minato said, poking his head out of the kitchen. Shinjiro nodded, seemingly satisfied with his work. You, not yet. 

"In a pot or in a rice cooker?"

"Rice cooker." Now you were definitely looking down at technology in the late 2000s. No way were rice cookers not a common household staple at that time...probably.

But there was still the matter of the rice. "Japanese short grain?"

"Yes." Though the person being questioned didn't seem to mind, Shinjiro scowled, stalking into the kitchen first.

"This ain't a cooking show. The specifics aren't as important as the process."

Ignoring him, you faced Minato with a serious face. "Did you fill the water a little less than the white line so it's drier and not weirdly mushy?"

"Yes." 

"Really?"

Shinjiro sighed again. "Are you here to learn or not?" You snapped back to attention.

"Yes, chef. Ramsey-senpai, what's our first move?"

"Ramsey? The hell is that?"

You held out a hand, gesturing towards Shinjiro. "That's you. Haven't you heard of Hell's Kitchen? It aired in 2005. It definitely exists, because I looked it up."

"The hell are you talking about?" Seeing as he was just about ready to lose his patience, you quickly pat Minato on the back and jogged off to meet your senpai by the kitchen counter, where Minato had thoughtfully laid out two cutting boards and two kitchen knives.

The preparation process was simple enough. Crack and beat the eggs, dice the onion and chicken, and then start by caramelizing the onions by frying them while marinating the chicken in soy sauce. Shinjiro explained this all while chopping an onion and not crying. Dude was heartless. On the other hand, you were sniffling as you diced, resisting the urge to wipe your eyes and make it worse.

"Do you not have tear ducts, senpai?" you said, squinting your eyes to see through the tears. 

"Don't be stupid. Of course I do." 

Of course he didn't. "Why aren't you crying then?" 

"You'll get used to it."

No, you really doubted that. But off the onions went into the pan, and as soon as they turned brown Shinjiro added the chicken. At that point you just watched him work, adding comments here and there. He replied gruffly, but it was nice of him to actually reply to all your questions and whims. If you didn't know better, you'd even say he was getting soft on you. 

He finished up by showing you how to make the egg cover of the omurice. Use chopsticks to stir around the beaten eggs in the pan so they get fluffy, but not too scrambled or they'd fall apart. He finished the first dish by sliding the egg off onto the plated rice, and you quickly grabbed a bottle of ketchup to write something witty on top.

Something witty, something witty... You had nothing. Staring at the omurice, you eventually just drew a smiley face on top. Classic and simple. 

"You can eat that," Shinjiro said.  "I'll make the others."

"Really?" you asked, but went digging around for a spoon anyways, sliding right into your seat and taking a bite. It was good. Not enough for your clothes to get ripped off as you flew into a monologue describing the taste, but...if there was something you'd miss most when you graduated, this would be a solid third place. 

You'd finish the rest later. For now, you wanted to make one too. You grabbed the huge bowl of beaten eggs and took up the nonstick pan next to Shinjiro, pouring a decent amount into the pan. "It's really good," you told him, grabbing a new pair of chopsticks from the drying rack. "You know, if you started up a restaurant I'd come by every day. Well...not every day, because I might go broke, but I'll come by super often and keep your restaurant in the green."

"Heh. You sure you'd make enough for that?" You started whisking at the eggs. 

"Well...you know...hopefully! If not, you might have to start giving me some handouts. I'll wash the dishes."

"You think I'd want your labor?"

Pantomiming flexing your arm, you nodded. "It's almost free labor. I'll even take leftovers as payment."

He sighed again, but it was more of a habit than anything at this point. "Forget about me getting a job as a chef. Just cooking for you guys is enough for me."

"Maybe." Or maybe he'd find himself wondering what to do, once he was out of his coma and out of school, and just maybe he'd think of your words and find himself a job cooking professionally. "Well, this looks about done." Saying that, you lifted the pan with both hands, rushing to plate it before you accidentally dropped the thing. Despite swinging around a naginata all the time, you didn't exactly have the best arm strength.

Shinjiro, noticing your plight, snatched the pan from you with a rough hand. "Don't overdo it," he barked. "Here, I'll do the plating. You go get everyone else." Probably got all those arm muscles from swinging around an axe with one hand. But any help from him you'd gladly take, so with a flourish of your hands you stood aside, curtseying in his direction. Then you got right back up and wandered to the living room to go find everyone available.

"Yukari! Shinjiro-senpai made omurice like I asked!" you ran to her first, tugging on her arm. She let you drag her to the kitchen.

"I know, I know. I can hear you guys from here." She took a seat anyways as you grabbed spoons from the drawer as Shinjiro set the pans and knives in the sink. You left right away to go hunt down Ken, and then your boyfriend, and then Junpei and the other senpais and Fuuka. You really had a lot of friends. The thought made you giddy, and you approached Ken and Minato, who were watching something on TV. Featherman, judging from the loud sentai noises.

You tilted your head to get a good look at the screen, confirming your guess. "Shinjiro-senpai made dinner," you called, not ignoring how Ken stiffened up at his name. October 4th... You only had two or three weeks until then. "Ken?"

"Oh...yeah." He got up first, though his eyes darted past you to catch a few more glimpses of the TV. Minato followed suit, dusting off his pants in a quick motion. Everyone else had already heard the commotion and wandered into the kitchen, sparing you the effort of going to find them yourself. In the end, Minato followed you to the dining table in the kitchen area, and you gestured at the seat right next to your plate with the ketchup smiley face. You noticed him staring at your plate. 

Heh. Of course he was jealous of your genius art skills. "I'll draw one for you too, how about it?"

He languidly took a seat, pushing his plate of omurice towards you. "Sure." Having been given your canvas, you got right to work, drawing a smiley face and a little heart next to it. Junpei, who was sitting across from you at the table, only sighed at your meticulous drawing.

"Hey, pass that over already. In case you haven't noticed, everyone sitting here is waiting for you." You sniffed, but slid the bottle of ketchup across the table. 

"What brought this on anyways?" Junpei asked, going for a classic zig zag pattern. Typical. "We normally just eat separately."

"That's exactly why!" you took a seat, nodding enthusiastically. "We all need more bonding time! Yakushima was fun, but we should eat dinner together more. Also, Shinjiro-senpai is a really good cook and I wanted to learn how to make omurice. It's the pinnacle of Japanese cooking."

"Omurice? Seriously?" Junpei prodded at his serving with a spoon. "I mean, it is Japanese, but wouldn't sushi or ramen make sense?"

"But they lack the proper flair! Like I can go anywhere and ask for sushi or ramen, but omurice is home cooking so it's a real test of skill." 

Shinjiro shook his head, speaking up. "No it's not. The process is simple. You just need to practice a little."

Fuuka nodded. "I see... Maybe I should try making omurice instead of onigiri..." 

"A-are you sure? Maybe you should go through the steps with senpai," Yukari quickly interjected, having seen first hand Fuuka's inexperience with cooking. 

You clapped your hands together, directing your grin at Shinjiro. "Okay, Shinjiro-senpai, our next move is practicing with Fuuka!"

He scowled again. "What do you mean, our? I said I'd just help you out this once."

"But it'd be a waste if you didn't." To accentuate your plea, you put on your most pleading expression. And maybe he really was getting fond of you, because he seemed to buckle under your eyes, and he turned away, looking gruff once more. 

"Don't count on it becoming a regular thing," he mumbled, taking small bites of his omurice. Akihiko, on the other hand, looked absolutely delighted. He and Mitsuru drew Shinjiro into a conversation, and you focused on eating once more. You loved this. Loved this moment, this day, being able to eat dinner with everyone and forget about your duty to save the world. Maybe it was the hazy lighting or the exhaustion that was beginning to catch up with you, but you couldn't see the apprehensive look on Ken's face, for that moment.

Fleeting. That was how the world worked. Such a heartwarming moment would be lost to time. You could only hope you'd remember this in the future, as an example of when you could believe everything would turn out okay.

Minato finished before you, and he sat in his seat, patiently waiting for you to finish. Once you did, he took your plate without asking, and dropped it off at the sink. "I'll help," you quickly told him, scrambling out of your seat to make a dash to the sink. Yukari and Fuuka were drawn into a conversation, as were Ken and Junpei, though the former was participating rather tentatively. It would take time for Ken to adjust and feel more comfortable. Time, and a mistake that couldn't be reversed. But that was alright. You'd be there for him, even if he didn't know.

Shinjiro was ascending up the stairs. Before he could reach the second floor you used your diaphragm voice to project your words towards him. "Goodnight, senpai!"

"Yeah, yeah." He looked unaffected as he brushed off your well wishes, disappearing into the floor above without hesitation. Just you wait...you'd have him spilling his guts about his watch soon, and then you'd miraculously show up with it and he'd be impressed with your sleuthing skills.

With the thought in mind, you hummed while washing the dishes and Minato dried them off, working alongside you quietly. Since no one else was there, you thought it'd be fine to be a little meta. Just a little. "Do you like Shinjiro-senpai?"

He took the plate from you, wiping it dry with a dish rag. "I do."

"And you trust me, right?"

"I trust you." You turned off the tap and passed the final plate to Minato, facing him while you did so. He accepted the plate and rubbed it dry, placing it on the rack while you spoke. 

"On the next full moon...do you think you can take care of the shadow without me? I have...errands to run." He put down the dish rag and rinsed off his hands.

"...be careful," he told you. You only allowed yourself to be starstruck by the genuinity in his voice, the trust in his eyes. So this was love. This was love! You'd repeat the same thing over and over to yourself for all sorts of situations, but even the slightest acknowledgment from him felt like something to celebrate. 

"I will," you announced, holding your hands out for a hug. "Because I love you! So I'll definitely do my best and come back, you hear me?" He accepted the hug, patting your back gently, and you smacked your forehead on his shoulder, trying to hide the grin that wouldn't stop spreading.

As always, Junpei ruined the mood. "Are you guys reenacting some soap opera in here or something?"

"Yes we are," you said, matter of fact, words slightly muffled. 

"Right..." He darted back into the living room regardless, and you peeled yourself off Minato, feeling refreshed. If he wanted it from you, you could go vegan, retire from the material world, chain yourself to the door sealing away Nyx. And if he wanted it from you, you could never see him again. 

How could someone like him love someone like you? "I'll see you tonight," you announced instead, not giving voice to the insecurities twisting up your heart. 

That night, you waited for him to finish blow drying your hair as always. It was a habit you had formed a while back, and at some point you had forgotten that you could dry your own hair with your own hair dryer. His fingers gently carded through your hair as he shook the hair dryer back and forth, employing speed and technique that wouldn't look out of place in a beauty salon. While he took care of your hair, you detailed your three step plan to making sure Shinjiro didn't die. 

Step one, ask about his missing watch. Step two, give him his watch. Step three, tackle Takaya before he shoots Shinjiro. It was a foolproof plan, you decided, just as Minato shut off the hairdryer and set it on the nightstand by his bed. "Done," he stated, stifling a small yawn in his hand. You hopped on your feet, stretching out your limbs, before turning around to wave at him energetically, only to stop and yawn with decidedly less grace than he had exhibited. 

"Goodnight." You shuffled over to the door, shutting off the ceiling light for him without even needing to be prompted. "I'll see you tomorrow." Quietly shutting the door behind you, you wandered to the stairs leading from the second floor to the third floor, fully intent on crawling into bed and roleplaying as a log until morning.

Shinjiro was already sitting at the seats outside the dorm rooms, however, and you had to give yourself a moment to process he was standing there. "Shinjiro-senpai, why are you still awake?"

He set down the magazine he was flipping through. A quick glance revealed it to be one of the bodybuilding papers Akihiko could often be found leafing through, so you came to the conclusion Shinjiro was bored and decided to borrow some of Akihiko's things. "I should be asking you that," he said, turning to face you. "And why are you on the second floor anyways?"

"Oh, Minato dries my hair for me." You ran a hand through your hair just to show him how dry it was. Shinjiro didn't look so impressed. 

"What, is he your mother now?"

That gave you pause, and you took a seat across from Shinjiro, leaning forwards to press your clasped hands against your lips in a paltry imitation of Gendo Ikari. "Elaborate, please, senpai."

"The hell is there to elaborate about? He dries your hair—"

"Uh huh." He just did, so yes, Shinjiro was right.

"—and makes you lunch—"

"Oh, he does, doesn't he?" And now that you thought about it, you convinced him to stop eating bread with you, which had eventually turned into a bento thing. Only you never woke up in time to actually do the cooking, so it was always him.

"—and he makes sure you don't run into things—"

"Yes, that's true..." That was more a friend thing than a mom thing, though. Shinjiro was exaggerating.

"—not to mention he always packs whatever he thinks you're going to need and forget, like your textbooks or homework. Are you done interrupting now?" 

"Yes, sorry." You covered your mouth with your hand and nodded, showing him just how willing you were to listen. He sighed, but you could tell Shinjiro was never mad at you. Were you any more confident in yourself, you would've chalked it up to being such a lovable kouhai. You didn't have that kind of confidence, not in reality, at least.

"...it's not like I have anything else to say." He sighed, and rubbed at the crease between his eyebrows. "It's getting late. You should get some sleep."

Despite yourself, you let a grin take over your face. "Aw, senpai, you do care about me." He snorted, turning away from your stare. "Alright, I'll go sleep. But I have a question for you."

His eyes met yours. "What?"

With bright eyes and an unfathomable smile, you peered at him with undisguisable smugness. "Would you happen to be missing a watch?"

Instinctively, his hand patted down his coat pocket, before he set it on on his knee. "How did you..."

Dismissively, you waved a hand. "Lucky guess. Goodnight, senpai. We'll talk more later!"

Obviously, you went and found the watch the next day. You passed it on to Shinjiro after running all the way back home, stumbling into the dorm with the pocketwatch tightly clasped in your hands. You raised the hand holding the pocketwatch triumphantly, and Minato walked into the dorm after you, looking no worse for the wear. Stupid New Game Plus stamina. 

"I found it!" you called, passing it onto him as you took a moment to catch your breath. "How'd I do, senpai?"

He took the watch from your hand, flipping it over as if checking to see you didn't mess it up somehow. You were too tired to fake being offended by that. There was something else in his expression, something you had never seen before, but it faded and the moment was gone. "You ran all the way back just for this?" he asked, but he seemed pleased nonetheless.

"It's because it was this I ran all the way back," you replied. Shinjiro then reached into his pocket, and pulled out his leather replacement watch. He held his hand out expectantly, and you cupped your hands underneath his to catch the watch he dropped into your hands. 

"Since you went out of your way to find that pocketwatch, I don't need this anymore. Do whatever with it." 

You tucked it into your school bag, beaming up at him. "I'll take good care of it. See you, senpai!" It was then you wandered off to see if Minato wanted to go back out and get something to eat. Classic high schooler activities.

The weeks passed by fast after that, and before the full moon on October 4th, you sat with Minato in his room, flipping through the week's Shounen Jump. "You think it'll work out?"

Minato, thankfully, didn't ask you to clarify. There were boundaries you still had yet to pass, and the most taboo of them all was outright saying that you knew about what was to come. The two of you skirted around the truth with vague questions and answers, and you liked that. No being questioned, no having to come to terms with it all. 

"It will." His pen scratched at the paper. Here he was, diligently studying before a full moon shadow while you were reading Shounen Jump knowing you had the duty of saving a life or two. 

"Well, then, even if I don't believe in myself, I believe in you." You got up, setting the magazine down, before you stretched out, as if getting ready for a marathon. "Finish up as soon as you can to come get me, alright?"

"Alright." He set down his pencil too, and stood up with you, twisting his neck as he rolled his shoulders. Getting warmed up for the shadow, no doubt. Getting warmed up for his death.

The two of you parted ways a little before the dark hour, so you could get to running to the meetup spot. You had scoped the area out a few days prior, making sure it was the same place Ken would be. It took a few hints from Minato, seeing as he was the one who had actually lived through those days. 

The rest was more of a blur. You saw Takaya getting ready to shoot, and you lunged towards him. Then there was the sound of thunder and lighting coursing through some spot in your side. 

Let it be known getting shot in real life was a lot more painful than you imagined. It helped that you had never actually been shot before, so it was a whole new experience. The place where you had been shot ran red-hot, and you really didn't have the energy to try to staunch the blood flow yourself, which meant you flopped on your back while cursing out the person who had shot you.

Ken had been hovering above you, pressing his hands down at the wound. Painfully. It hurt a shit ton, but you weren't about to disparage the poor boy's efforts. Shinjiro looked just as horrified and guilty, though really, it was all your fault for trying to tackle someone with a gun. 

There were words being exchanged, of the nasty adult cursing kind, and you really wished you could cover Ken's ears. He probably wouldn't appreciate all the blood, though. And, oh, that was right, didn't Shinjiro get shot twice? You had one more bullet to block with your own body, and you had full faith you could take it. You were healthy and youthful, and Shinjiro was a crabby old man who had been taking persona suppressants.

"Ken, help me up," you said, only for the kid to shake his head. 

"N-no, I can't do that! It'll be dangerous for you, so—"

You struggled to do the most convoluted sit up of your life regardless, failing after a moment of grunting and trying not to cry. "I can't just sit here, though, not if Shinjiro's gonna—"

There was that familiar crack of a gun being fired, and the sound of someone hitting the floor. You scrabbled on the floor, pushing yourself to your knees despite Ken's best efforts trying to stop you, crawling over to Shinjiro's side. "Oh my god, please tell me the bullet didn't—"

"Still alive? Allow me to remedy that." He raised the gun again, and you pulled out your evoker, fully intent on trying to bluff your way out of it. 

"You wanna try me, albino Jesus looking ass? There's only room for one anime Jesus in this parts, and it's not you." Before Takaya could respond, either in words or a gunshot, you were flexible, there was the sound of footsteps as the rest of SEES burst onto the scene. Seeing he was outmatched, he quickly fled, and you finally felt yourself falling backwards.

Your head didn't hit the pavement, but someone's arms instead. You peered up into Minato's eyes, and found yourself surprised by the worry clear in his face. Were you so important to him? The thought made you equal parts happy and sad. Happy he was worried for your sake, when all you had was just some silly flesh wound, and sad that his feelings were genuine, which would only make parting even worse.

"I'm fine," you quickly said, wincing at the sudden movement. "How's Shinjiro-senpai?"

"Mitsuru's getting people over," he quietly murmured, and shifted so he could take your hands in his. He didn't seem to mind that your blood stained his palms a murky red, and you laced your fingers together, before closing your eyes to finally take a nap.

You woke up in a hospital bed, in the same hospital Minato had stayed in after summoning Orpheus for the first time in this playthrough. It was a perfect parallel of your situation there, only your roles had switched. You lay in the hospital bed, and Minato sat by your side, eyes closed in peaceful slumber.

You watched him breathe in and out gently for a moment, before you turned away to look at the window, doing your utmost best not to stare at the IV drip in your arm. It wouldn't hurt if you didn't acknowledge it. It didn't exist if you didn't look. 

"You're awake?" You sharply turned your head back around to see Minato, who had woken up during your struggle with the needle in your arm. 

"I should be saying that to you," you retorted, but smiled at him anyways. "So...once again, how's Shinjiro?"

"He'll make it," Minato firmly replied, with certainty. "He's in a coma, but his pocketwatch stopped the bullet."

"Well, then my work here is done." You patted the space beside you, and he dutifully took a seat on the bed beside you. "I think I did great, if I do say so myself. A little scar's only going to make me look more badass."

His expression, unlike yours, was serious. "I'm glad you're alright, but..."

"But nothing! I knew what I was getting into, and I'm glad you let me. So don't go thinking that you shouldn't have, because now Shinjiro-senpai's alive, and I know he'll wake up soon." You held an arm out for a half hug of sorts, and Minato sighed, but leaned in and let you wrap your arm around him and pat his pat. "Thank you for trusting me."

"I always will." So will I, you thought, but let your thoughts pass along, just so you could have that silent moment with him.

Chapter Text

After the conclusion of Madarame's palace, Sae had been subtly calling you more. You thought nothing of it at first, thinking maybe she just had more free time to chat with her friends, until Akira made it known that Makoto knew about them being the Phantom Thieves.

You arrived all out of breath from running all the way over. Ann sympathetically passed over a glass of lemonade you only noticed right after had been sitting around untouched. The fact they had ordered something for you already made the whole run over worth it.

Sliding into the booth beside Yusuke, you chugged half the drink before leaning back against the booth's seat. "Okay, what'd you all call me in a hurry for?" You already had a fair idea, but you'd let them explain for you.

"So...uh...Nijima—that is, the student council president at our school—found out about us being Phantom Thieves. Thanks to Ryuji."

"Wha—hey, you were in the recording too!" You took another gulp of your lemonade, before leaning forwards to rest an elbow on the table casually. 

"So you guys got found out."

"You don't sound surprised," Yusuke added. 

Shrugging, you spun around the straw in your drink. "I can't say I was. You guys do everything in public, after all. So... Nijima, was it? Tell me about her." It was probably a little too late and a little too awkward to explain to them that you were on good terms with Makoto's sister and by extension, probably Makoto as well. Besides, you'd rather keep it under wraps as long as you could. It'd be nice if you could continue feeding that picture perfect relationship you had with the Nijimas, before it all eventually got weird due to you being a member of the Phantom Thieves.

Ryuji didn't take any time to ponder. "She's a total hardass and rule stickler," he immediately announced. "Ugh, why'd it have to be her of all people?"

Ann was the nicer of the two. "I mean...she's the top of our grade and student council president and everything...but even then, she didn't do anything about Kamoshida. And there's no way she couldn't have known." She leaned back, taking a sip from her iced water. Everyone else had iced water. Were you footing the bill again? Might as well buy something else to eat. 

"I don't have an opinion on her yet, as we have only met today. However, she knew about me, so I'm certain she's the type who's well prepared and does their research." Yusuke looked at the menu. "By the way, what would you recommend? I'm looking for something salty."

You leaned across the table to point at one of the options. "This sandwich. It's really good and it comes with fries. I'll take the fries if you don't want them."

"An acceptable compromise." You called a waiter over, putting down the order alongside another glass of lemonade, before you turned to see the Phantom Thieves staring.

"What's your job anyways?" Ryuji asked. "Are you sure you can keep buyin' all that?"

The rudest thing to ask an adult was their salary. Ryuji had no qualms going right for it, which spoke volumes about his confidence. That, and probably the shared concern they all had, seeing the one adult buy whatever came to mind. 

"Oh, don't worry, I make enough to foot the bill for you guys. I work in administration for the Kirijo group." She wanted to promote you to a directorial position already, but you decided all your coworkers would probably be pissed if a newbie suddenly skyrocketed up the ranks thanks to your friendship with the CEO, even if she told you that you deserved it ten times over. The intricacies of office work, everyone. 

"The Kirijo group?" Ann at least seemed to recognize your dear friend's company. "That's amazing! I hear they're especially selective even for the lowest positions."

In your memories, Mitsuru sat across from you at a fancy French restaurant. "Quite frankly, your work is impressive. I've spoken with some of your professors and they all have good things to say about you. I was originally planning on offering you a job with me after you graduate"—because she owed it to your dead boyfriend, she didn't say—"but I feel you'd be especially successful working with our marketing team."

"You're exaggerating, Mitsuru-senpai." Nothing you did was good enough. If Minato were alive, he'd be the best in college and the first one Mitsuru wanted for her job, if he didn't go into something far more lucrative, like law or medicine. But he wasn't alive, so your second best could become first. How tiresome, how pointless it was, to chase after a dead man's accomplishments. Death created heavy, insurmountable boulders, and you were Sisyphus pushing them up a hill. 

"I don't sugarcoat anything. If you have any other plans, I'd be glad to help you achieve them, or pay for you." She affixed you with a steely look, complete with a small smile. "But if you decide to work for me, I'll make sure you receive more than enough pay and vacation days, along with pension."

Maybe you could've gone into therapy or nursing. But when you saw Mitsuru, beautiful and radiant as ever, you decided that this was the best you could get from life. "I'd love nothing more than that. Only...I'd like to work in a normal position for a while. Then we can talk about a promotion, if you still think I deserve one."

"Of course." She took a sip of her wine. "I hear you're on track to graduate early, by the way. Do you think—"

"The Kirijo group," you repeated, snapping out of your memories. "Yeah, that's true. The CEO has pretty high standards, but for good reason."

Yusuke nodded. "You're quite impressive, in that case."

It was a little embarrassing being complimented. Still, you took it in stride, nodding along. "You think so? That's nice of you to say. But I digress, we were talking about...Nijima."

Akira nodded. "We didn't tell her about you."

Well, you sure hoped not. "I guess I'll be your secret Phantom Thief, then. Count on me for all undercover activity!" To drive your point home, you flexed your arm jokingly, before snatching one of the fries from Yusuke's freshly prepared sandwich. 

It'd be funny, you thought, once the truth came clean about how you and Makoto were already rather familiar with one another. She was convinced you were out to date her sister, for one. "She'll never suspect it!" Ryuji announced, cutting into your daydreams. "I mean, the rest of us are high schoolers who have some sorta connection to the Phantom Thieves, but you've got nothin' to do with it."

"That's true. We'd have no connection otherwise." The only reason you could sit with them now was the same reason you still couldn't move past your high school days. Your knowledge of this world drove much of your actions, if not all. And without this knowledge, you might be unburdened by the death only you and SEES knew about, but you'd never have met the Phantom Thieves. For a moment, you lost that stone-wall like composure which you kept around your face and heart. "Doesn't that feel weird? I mean, you're all a bunch of high schoolers taking down shitty, corrupted adults, and here's one in front of you."

"Well...it's different!" Ann flung out a hand to hold palm up as she tried to explain. "Yes, you're an adult, but you're not shitty or corrupted! And I know we talk a lot about adults are bad, but of course we understand that there's always nuance to this kind of topic, and we're not trying to generalize all adults. After all, all of us here will become adults at some point. Isn't that right?"

"Huh? I-I mean, yeah!" Ryuji nodded enthusiastically, as Akira and Yusuke pitched in their agreement.

You smiled at their antics, though it didn't quite reach your eyes. No, you didn't say, that's not what I meant. What I meant is that I was never supposed to be here in the first place. Thematically, I'm all over the place, and emotionally, I'm stuck in the past. The Persona series has always been centered around high schoolers, each group completely separate from the others. My story is already over. Why am I forcing myself to join yours?

"That's reassuring to hear," you told them, burying your thoughts away. "Anyways, back to Nijima. I assume she wants something from you guys, since she's not rushing to report you guys to the police."

It was Yusuke's turn to add in some exposition. "That's right. She asked us to change the heart of someone."

And that someone is Kaneshiro. "I guess there's your answer. Did she say who?"

"Not at all. She said she'd continue the conversation tomorrow at school."

"I see... I don't think there's anything I can do, but if there is, let me know." After a few more moments of conversation, you finally called over the waiter to get the bill. 

Akira stopped you before you could get going. "I'll pay next time," he said. 

"That's nice of you to offer, but you can just spend that money on equipment, Joker." You smiled up at him, and he met your eyes directly. "Thank you, by the way. The naginata replica you got me the other day can't have been cheap." And you were thankful for it too. You had some sentimental attachment to your actual naginata, and being able to use a replica saved you the worry of accidentally ruining your genuine one.

He stuck his hands in his pockets. "No problem. Just pay me back in labor."

"I sure will. You better make the most out of my hard work." With a playful salute, you left the diner, ready to head home for another night of boredom. Or...

You stopped at the crosswalk, searching for one of your saved contacts. After tapping the call button, you waited for the person on the other side to pick up. After listening to her rehearsed greeting, you replied, "hey, Hanasaki, it's me."

"Oh, it's you! Did you need Aragaki for something again?"

Though she couldn't see, you shook your head. "No, not today. Are you guys busy? I don't feel like cooking tonight, so I might as well come by and spend some money."

"You don't even need to ask! Even if we were busy, which we rarely are, there's always a seat for you. I'd make Aragaki take you to rooftop or something if there wasn't."

The light turned green, so you followed the crowd of people beside you across the street. "The rooftop might be cutting it. I'd be freezing to death between Shinjiro-senpai and the cold."

"Aw, don't say that! I think—hold on, I'm calling Aragaki's friend!—I think he's super soft on you. Far from cold! Also, I have to go. See you there!" She hung up in a rush, and you stared at her contact on your screen before putting your phone away. Would Shinjiro be happy to see you? He'd probably just complain about how you came over way too much. Still, someone had to keep him informed of SEES business since he always had the groupchat muted. Though, to be fair, the only SEES business recently was just Junpei reporting in on how cool Chidori was and Ken's student council work. 

Adulthood was so mundane sometimes, but you wouldn't have it any other way. All of you had experienced enough excitement for a lifetime. The only problem was you were going through it for the second...technically third time. Curse your inability to leave high school persona groups alone.

You didn't dream that night, or the next. A few days passed by in a blur as you went on with your daily business. You didn't think too much of it, perfectly content with letting time go by. 

On the seventeenth, Sae called during your lunch break, as you were at the counter buying a boxed bento. "Are you busy?" she asked, without preamble. "If you have time, we can grab something to eat. My treat."

"Of course! Where do you want to meet?" you immediately snatched the box away from the cashier, offering a slight bow in apology before you ran back with the bento, placing it back where you found out. After setting your drink back in the refrigerator, you strode out the door as if nothing had happened.

"I heard there was a new western restaurant near where you work," she said. "I'll send you the location." Sure enough, it was only a short walk over from the convenience store you had emerged from. You arrived in record time, pausing at the front of the restaurant to peer in through the glass windows. It certainly looked like one of those upper end hipster restaurants with those super long and fancy menus with appetizers that cost a little over twenty US dollars. 

You were staring at the fancy English lettering when Sae arrived. "What do you think?" She stepped inside, approaching the hostess at the front counter, and you followed her. A wave of cold air hit you, and you admired the air conditioners on full blast. 

"Just looking at the decorations, this place looks super fancy." All the glittering lights and signboards drew your attention.

"I agree." Towards the hostess, she said, "table for two." 

"Follow me." The hostess lead the two of you towards a table by the windows, and you gracefully took a seat across from Sae, picking up one of the menus. Gratuitous English filled your sight, followed by a description of the dishes in Japanese. Most of it wasn't even English, but Italian or French.

"Does anything catch your eye?" You hummed in response, tapping a finger against the thick cardstock of the menu. 

"I think I'll go with a house salad and soup of the day. What about you?" 

She ran her fingers across the print, before stopping at something halfway down. "The seafood paella sounds nice. Anything to drink?" 

You were a good person. "Just iced water will be good." Sae nodded and called over a waiter, quickly running off her order and yours. You helped pass over your menu to the waiter, and turned back to Sae. "So what did you want to talk about? I'm here to listen."

Sae almost seemed to deflate a little from embarrassment. "You can tell? Although I was meaning to get lunch with you sometime, there is something I wanted to discuss with you..." 

You offered her an easygoing smile. "And that's totally fine. If I can help in any way, I'd love to. And if I can't, I hope talking about it with me helps."

She sighed quietly, before tapping a finger on the table absentmindedly. "Well... It's about Makoto. Her principal called earlier, asking if she made any lifestyle changes. She's also been coming home later than usual. I'll have to talk with her about it tonight, but..."

Reaching across the table, you gently placed your hand on top of hers and put a temporary stop to her rapid tapping. "I know you're worried about her. It's hard trying to take care of someone on your own, especially with a job as demanding as yours." To your great relief, she didn't draw her hand back or anything. "Even so, I think you can put a little more trust into her. She's responsible and reliable just like you, and she's at the age where she needs to start making more choices for herself."

"You're right, but..." She shook her head. "Shibuya's a dangerous place to be at night. And Makoto's still a high schooler. There's plenty of people who would take advantage of a pretty young girl like her."

"Then there's no harm in letting her know. It's totally understandable why you're feeling this way, especially because you work with law enforcement. But for me, I think she understands and has her own reasons."

She seemed to take your words into consideration for a moment. "I suppose that's true. Thank you for listening to me. It's a bit strange, but I always feel better after talking to you." The small smile that followed her words was a little too bright for you, and you struggled to keep your grin to a minimum and blush under control. Oh goodness. Counseling pretty, independent women was not good for your health.

"And I'm always here to listen. We're friends, after all!" The rest of lunch passed relatively quickly, and when it was around time for you to get back to work, you bade her farewell and quickly snatched the bill from her.

As soon as you pressed the tab with your card onto the waiter, who left to charge it to your account, Sae looked at a loss for words at your practiced moves. "I thought I said I'd be paying this time," she murmured. 

"You have a lot to consider, so consider this as me trying to help alleviate some of that!" You grinned at her, accepting your card back from the waiter as you signed the receipt. "If you really want to return the favor, why don't I come over sometime? You're always talking about how great your sister's cooking is."

That, at least, seemed to raise her spirits. "Alright. I'll let you know whenever there's time." 

To be precise, she let you know after your first foray with the Phantom Thieves into Kaneshiro's palace. Your memories may have become spotty after years of harboring them, but you had a sinking suspicion there was some sort of event connected with Kaneshiro's palace and Makoto and Sae having time to actually interact. Something similar to how Makoto was sniffing around the Phantom Thieves much more often recently, as the rest of them could attest to.

"I'll be there," you said, despite the film of dread that coated your stomach. You'd be there for damage control, more like it, if what you suspected was going to happen. "I'll get some cake." 

After stopping by a French bakery and grabbing an assortment of small cakes, you made your way to Sae's apartment, cradling your cake box close to your chest for fear of crushing the tiny but expensive pastries inside. Makoto was the one who opened the door when you rang the doorbell. 

"Come in," she said. "You can take your shoes off at the entrance here." You did as she said, slipping off your heels and passing the box over to her. 

"There's enough for two for all of us," you announced. 

"Or enough for two for me and my sister, and four for you."

"Well...yes, I also considered that." She shook her head playfully at your words but took the box regardless, walking to the kitchen to set it in the fridge. Sae, who was typing something on her phone, set it down as soon as she saw you.

"You're here." She beckoned you over, and you quickly approached her place by the dinner table. "Here, take a seat. You have good timing—Makoto just finished cooking."

Taking a seat, you discovered to your great glee that Makoto was indeed a good cook, if your eyes and nose were to be believed. "This looks amazing!" you offered, waiting for the chef to take a seat herself. 

"You're exaggerating." She looked happy to hear it nonetheless, hiding a small smile as she tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. The three of you made casual conversation as you ate, with you hyping up the two of them as best as you could. Makoto, on the other hand, looked as if she were working up the nerve to say something. When she did, you braced yourself.

She paused to ask the big question, about if their deceased father would support the Phantom Thieves. As if to make up for your inability to join that part of the conversation, she added in a piece just for you: "Would you support them?"

You didn't have a chance to answer, however, before Sae lost her temper. That part proceeded just as it had in the game, uncomfortable silence and all. Makoto's eyes darted between yours and Sae's, even while Sae made an attempt to apologize, before she quickly stood up. "I just remembered I have something I need to do." She left for her room right after, leaving behind her half eaten meal.

Sae sighed, rubbing her temples with her fingers. "I..don't know what to say. I'm sorry you had to see that."

"Don't worry about it." While you couldn't tell her you had expected that to happen, you could at least try to make amends in her stead. "Should I go talk to her?"

"It might be for the best. I don't think she'd want to see me right now." She sighed again, getting to her feet. "I'll clean up."

"Alright. Where do you keep your plates and cutlery?" Sae directed you to the right cabinets, and you quickly pulled out the mille-feuille from the cake box you had brought over, and plated it as best as you could. Hopefully she'd appreciate your cake choice. You found her room a few steps down the hall, as directed by Sae, plate in hand, and knocked gently. "Hey, it's me."

"Oh...come in." You opened the door and gently shut it behind you, holding out the cake as a peace offering. Makoto took it from you, setting it down on her desk. She let out a sigh, just as her sister was prone to. "Sorry that you had to see that," she murmured, just as her sister had. They were more alike than they realized, you thought.

You could only offer what you hoped was a gentle smile. "You know, that's what your sister said too. I'm sure she didn't mean to lose her temper like that, and I'm sure she didn't mean what she said."

"Maybe." She didn't sound very convinced. "But thank you. I know this isn't the first time you've tried to smooth things over for us."

"And I won't stop trying," you easily replied, "because I know the two of you do care for each other. Sae just has her own issues to work through." You stopped to consider your words. "Between the two of us, though, I don't think you did anything wrong."

Makoto finally picked up the mille-feuille, and took a tentative bite. "...what do you think of the Phantom Thieves?"

The question was inevitable, and you knew at some point she'd find out you were part of them. It was up to you to direct her towards them, however, and you'd take that job seriously. "There are laws," you began, "for these kinds of things. But even those laws are flawed, and there are those who deserve to be punished who are beyond our laws. In that case, something like the Phantom Thieves might be necessary." 

"Do you really believe that?"

You nodded. "Even if they aren't perfect, I think it's worth it if they can do anything at all to help. The Phantom Thieves have good intentions and they are bringing to justice criminals that would never get prosecution otherwise. For that, I support them." Laughing awkwardly, you pressed a hand to your cheek innocently. "But if your sister finds out I said that, she might be mad at me. Let's keep this between us?"

Makoto nodded, setting down her cake to face you with a serious look in her eyes. "Yes. I won't say anything."

You smiled at her once more. "It looks like you've made up your mind about something. In that case, I wish you the best of luck with whatever it is. Shall we go outside now? Your sister must be waiting."

"Yes, let's." Makoto picked up her plate, and together you walked back to the living room.

Chapter Text

A couple weeks after the second full moon operation, you stood up straight halfway through an episode of Featherman. "Oh fuck."

Yukari, who had been half-heartedly watching with you, jolted and turned towards you. "What is it? Did you forget something at school?"

If you remembered correctly, the next full moon operation would be the dreaded Lovers arcana one. The one that was weird because everyone was high schoolers, that one. On one hand, the obvious default character for that scene was Yukari, so on the other hand...probably not your problem. You pat Yukari on the shoulder as you sat back down to continue watching Featherman. "Good luck, Yukari."

She only looked confused. "Good luck? With what? Did something happen?"

"You'll see." You casually rested a head on her shoulder, yawning as the pink Featherman took the stage. Oh, that was right, Yukari was going to take that role in the future. It was hard being such a reliable fortune teller sometimes. 

"I really don't get what you're thinking sometimes." Regardless, she still watched along with you, giving short replies to your comments on the show. You really, really liked Yukari, who always took your side instead of Junpei's and begrudgingly helping you with the very things she lectured you about. It was for that reason you decided if she was going to be the canon love interest, you'd play along with her. 

There was also Aigis to consider. And Mitsuru. And Fuuka. Everyone who was into guys was your rival. That was...a lot of people.

"Yukari," you began, "if our leader were to hypothetically get a girlfriend, what kind if girlfriend would he get?" 

She affixed you with a look you didn't understand. "Are you seriously asking me that?"

"Yes? Why?" You stared at her with a puzzled expression. "Oh no, is he gay and not bi like I thought?" A terrible miscalculation on your end. Of course he liked guys, because there was no way he didn't like Ryoji just a little bit, and there was also no way he didn't like girls, because Yukari existed. 

She sighed. "Nevermind. Of course you wouldn't get it."

Now that was an affront to your deep understanding of Minato. "Wouldn't get what? I think I'd get it. Maybe."

"No, forget it." Yukari shook her head, completely done with watching Featherman in exchange for craning her head down towards you. "You asked what kind of girlfriend he'd like? I don't think we're that close, but if I had to guess..."

You leaned in closer. "Yes, yes, go on..."

"...probably someone energetic and cheerful, who talks enough for the both of them. And dense. Really dense." You ran the description through your mind. Cheerful, talks a lot, dense... 

"Isn't that you, Yukari?" You listed off the traits on your fingers. "You can be cheerful, and you're good at filling in conversation, but I don't think you're dense. And you're pretty. That's the important part." She flushed a little, before her fluster completely died down as she processed your words.

"...you're kidding me. How'd you come to the conclusion I was talking about myself?" 

"I mean...you're the only person I can think of that matches that description." You thought about it some more. "Maiko? No. He would never. I believe in him."

"You...seriously..." Yukari's arm twitched, sending tremors to your head. 

This was a topic you took great interest in, however, and since the man himself wasn't here to hear the gossip, you'd milk all the information you could out of her. "Maybe we should get Fuuka. Fuuka? Fuuka!"

"Shouldn't that be Yamagishi to you?"

You realized your mistake right after. "Oh, you're right. Yamagishi! Sorry for using your first name!"

The person you had been calling for quickly descended the stairs right after, a little out of breath from rushing over. "Y-yes? Oh...if you want to use my first name that's quite alright with me. Only if you'd like..."

"Then...Fuuka!" You pat the space next to you, still curled up next to Yukari. "Do you have time to talk a little?"

She took a seat, folding her hands in her lap. She spoke rather quietly. "Yes, that's fine with me."

"Okay, so, I already asked Yukari, but I'd love your opinion on this. So if our leader were to date someone, what kind of person do you think they'd be?" 

"...dating?" She fumbled with her fingers a bit, before she peered at you. "I guess...someone who's kind, intelligent, and reliable. And optimistic."

You ran the data points through your mind. "Oh, that fits you, Fuuka. You're really sweet and kind, you're super smart, especially when it comes to technology, and you're reliable. I think you're pretty optimistic too." She didn't look as pleased as you thought she'd be, only a little bewildered. When Yukari saw her expression, she jumped to explain.

"Don't worry, she's just like that." Fuuka slowly nodded in acknowledgement.

"Me? You're talking about me? What am I like?" You turned towards the both of them, holding a hand to your chest. 

"It's nothing." Yukari pat your shoulder. "We've told you what we think. What kind of girlfriend do you think he'd like?"

Well. If Yukari already described herself, and Fuuka already described herself, the only SEES members left were Mitsuru and Aigis. To you, the latter was the more likely girlfriend option. "Someone devoted and loyal, who's a little blind to social cues but endearing nonetheless."

Yukari and Fuuka both had a complicated expression. "Didn't you just...describe yourself?" Yukari asked. "You're a devoted and loyal friend who doesn't pick up on some stuff—not that it's your fault—but still well liked."

"No?" It was your turn to look confused. "I wasn't talking about myself, though."

"But you—" she sighed. "Nevermind."

Well, that was enough talk about dating for you. "Since we're all here, we should do something. Is Featherman done airing? Did they beat the bad guy?" 

"Of course they did," said Yukari, who had not even spared a glance towards Featherman since you began your conversation. "What did you have in mind? It's getting kind of late already."

Your first thought was to get ramen, but you got that with the others far too often. Today had to be special, since you were leading Yukari and Fuuka out for some fun. Karaoke was probably out of the question, since you'd be the one enjoying it the most. Definitely not the nightclub either, because while it was fair game for you to head over and talk to the monk, Yukari and Fuuka were good rule-abiding citizens. "How about Chagall?"

"That's fine. We can probably get takeout on the way for dinner. How about it, Yamagishi?" Fuuka looked surprised at having being mentioned, but hesitantly nodded right after.

"Sure, if you'll have me." You rushed to take her hands in yours, clasping them tightly. She had pleasantly cool hands and dainty little fingers that looked hand model worthy. 

"Of course! I was looking forward to hanging out with you anyways. You're head of the home ec club, right? Can I join?"

"Um, yes, that'd be great!" You loosened your grip on her hands, jumping up to dust off your school uniform.

Should you change into casual clothes? No, too bothersome. Where was Minato anyways? Probably studying in his room. Best not to bother him, in that case. "Okay, let's go! I'll go grab my wallet." As you rushed to your room to grab your carefully stocked up money from part-timing, Fuuka and Yukari trailed behind you, no doubt to retrieve their money as well. 

When you turned back to look, they seemed to be engaged in conversation. Fuuka was staring at her hands, looking a bit flustered for whatever reason. "Is she always..."

"Like that?" Yukari completed, in a serious tone of voice. "Yes."

Fuuka turned over her hands, before looking up to shyly meet Yukari's eyes. "I can see why she's so popular," she admitted. You returned with your wallet right after, and a small bag to put it in.

"I'm back!" You linked arms with Yukari and Fuuka, who had been waiting on the third floor for you, pulling them down the stairs with you at the same time. You reached the bottom floor in record time, waving goodbye to Junpei who was reading some magazine at the back of the room. "So...I'm popular?"

Yukari shook her head. "Some first year tried asking you out last week when we were walking home."

Stopping in your tracks, you untangled an arm from Fuuka's to point at yourself, and then at Yukari, and then back at yourself. "Wasn't that for you?"

Yukari stopped as well. "I'm pretty sure it was you."

"Then it was you." Linking your arm with Fuuka's once more, you continued on your journey towards the only cafe open at this time you knew about. You were right, late night trips to anywhere was infinitely more fun with friends. Friends. It was fun having the freedom to go wherever you wanted with whoever you wanted. "I mean, you're super pretty and good at archery and your grades are good."

"I'm pretty sure the first year was turning towards you. Also, didn't he say something about volleyball? You're the one in the volleyball club, not me."

"Did he? I'm not sure. I still think it was you. Out of the two of us, I'd rather date you."

Yukari had grown used to your comments remarkably fast, considering you had only known her for a few months. "That doesn't change the fact that you're still popular at school, whether you believe it or not. Remember? Iori called it your transfer student charm."

"You know, I do think I remember that." You turned to Fuuka, fully intent on getting her involved in the conversation. "Do you believe Junpei? I think he just made it up because Mina—Arisato, Arisato is popular and he's a transfer student. I'm piggybacking off of Yukari's popularity." You made a face after. "I still can't get used to first names. I don't think Junpei minds, though, but I gotta be careful around the senpai."

Fuuka considerately took her time thinking about what to say. "I think you're pretty popular, though. I hear my classmates mentioning you sometimes." 

You considered it. "No, Junpei's right. It's the transfer student charm, I'll bet." There was also Ryoji, who had yet to show up to prove Junpei's theory right. Your buddy would have to wait a little longer before his social phenomena, the transfer student effect, would end up in the textbooks. 

Looking less impressed was Fuuka, and the least impressed was Yukari. "How do you even come to these conclusions?" 

"I try. I really do." You did not, in fact, try, but you had a sense of humor and a sense of duty to continue the conversation. Funny how these things worked out. "Oh, we're here." You ushered the two inside, ready to fulfil your purpose as a simp to pretty girls. 

The three of you found a seat by the windows, and you picked up a menu, despite already knowing most of what was on it. "What do you guys want? I haven't decided yet, but I think I want a parfait."

"In that case...probably some cake. I could do with something sweet." Yukari set down her menu, having decided already. "What about you, Fuuka?"

She tapped a finger to her lower lip in thought. "I'm not really hungry...just some tea, I think." You decided that kind of order suited her very well. Elegant and a touch rustic, but completely charming. 

You called for a waiter, raking your eyes through the small print of the menu one last time. "I'd like a hot cocoa and a strawberry parfait, please."

Unlike you, the others paused for a moment. You didn't look up to see why, too busy being preoccupied with a typo in the hiragana. "So you were here. One cappuccino and strawberry shortcake, please."

"And one green tea for me. Thanks." 

The waiter stopped, probably writing it down. You had seen enough of the typo, and finally raised to peer at your friends from above the rim of the menu. "Menus, please," the waiter quietly said. Without looking, you quickly stacked up the three menus before passing it to the waiter, only to stop. 

"Oh, you're working part time here? How come I've never seen you during one of my shifts?" Your eyes met Minato's, who put the stack of menus under his arm casually, shifting his hold on a tray with various glasses of water. His hand casually tilted slightly to the side, sending a few glasses clinking against each other. You resisted the urge to grab his wrist and force him to hold the tray firmly.

As if sensing your thoughts, he adjusted the tray and assuaged your fears of the glasses slipping and shattering on the floor. "I just started." 

"Then I'm effectively your work senpai, right?" You hid a grin behind her palm, knowing such glee coming out of nowhere was strange. Could you blame yourself? Just thinking that you had some sort of connection to him left giddy streaks in your heart, twisting and pulling at the arteries and veins. 

"Yes." He closed his eyes for a moment. "I'll be back with your orders." You watched him go, eyes drifting from his retreating figure back to your friends, and your heartstrings pulled and stretched taut. 

"I don't like like him," you were quick to say. "I just...admire him! He's very cool and collected but you can tell he genuinely cares for everyone, which is why I—I just think he's neat."

Yukari raised her hands, palms facing you. "I never said anything," she calmly replied. "Isn't that right, Yamagishi?"

"Hm? I mean, yes, that's right." She awkwardly nodded along, fingers messing with the hem of her skirt. 

They were, in fact, correct. You had been jumping to conclusions—always risky business—and in the process revealed much more about yourself than you cared to learn. That you were attached to a dead man walking, for one, one who surely would choose to date anyone but you. There was no proof you had existed in his first run through, which was why... 

"Yukari," you murmured, "I think you'd make a good match with Minato. If you're interested, that is."

She sighed, shaking her head as if saying what am I going to do with you. "Talking about him again? In the first place, neither I nor him are interested in each other. Besides, even if it came to it I'd much rather be your friend then get any boyfriend at all." She hesitated for a moment. "You know, I think you'd be better suited than anyone else. Just saying."

That was ridiculous. "That's ridiculous. Yukari, Fuuka, you guys are like the pinnacle of girlfriend and wife material. And I, on the other hand"—was never meant to exist in the first place—"will fare much better being single to give everyone else a chance."

And there was also the reason you had come here, besides getting quality time with Fuuka. No, you were prepared to expend a good amount of money to appease Yukari before the next full moon event since someone was insisting on killing all the shadows at the cost of his own life. And if that someone really did bring along Yukari, then you owed it to her to at least pay for a drink.

Surprisingly, Fuuka and Yukari looked at you with sympathetic, pitying eyes. You weren't sad yourself, so why were they? "Is there something wrong?" 

"You should have more confidence in yourself." Yukari offered a small half smile. "If I were Minato, I'd like you."

To this, you took a deep breath and let all your misgivings and pettiness leave in your exhale. "Why are we even talking about this again? Come on, let's talk about something more fun. Has anything interesting happened to you guys recently?" If the forced change of topic was an obvious evasion, they kept it to themselves. You had employed many tactics for uncomfortable situations in your lifetimes, 

"Well, someone in archery club..." Yukari dove into something part rant and part gossip, with all the care of someone indulging in juicy gossip, while keeping her words and behavior as tasteful as possible. You idly listened to her, digging into your parfait with a slack hand. Eventually, your time at Chagall came to an end.

When Minato came over, shiny silver platter and check in hand, you turned to stare at Yukari, and then back at Minato. "Here, pass me that." You snatched up the bill and quickly counted out enough bills, pressing the final amount back into his hands before Yukari could get her hands on it. "This one's on me, Yukari. You just do your best the next full moon."

"Next full moon? You mean the full moon operation?" She turned to face Minato. "Here, let me—"

"I should also—" Fuuka chimed in, despite having racked up the least bills out of the three of you. 

"See you!" You waved at him, a clear indication you wanted him to get out of there. His eyes darted from Yukari's incredulous visage to your smug one, and left without another word. You turned to Yukari, having the resolve to face her once and for all. "Really, don't mind it. I'm pretty sure he'll pick you for the next full moon mission, so this is my way of making it up to you."

She wrinkled her nose for a brief, incredibly cute moment. "How can you be so sure?"

"Because you're pretty, smart, and you can heal?" Towards her, you squinted, as if you couldn't understand how she could question your logic. And because you're the default love hotel partner? 

Perhaps she had seen the error in her ways, trying to argue with you, because she sighed and shook her head. "Forget it, I'll just buy you something next time. I'm not Junpei, so I feel bad if you keep buying me things."

You walked out with them, admiring the cool night breeze brushing against your skin. In the sky hung a couple bright stars, though you were too close to human infrastructure to see anything else. "You guys go ahead first. I'll wait for our dear leader."

"Are you sure?" Fuuka shifted in her spot, though seemed immensely more confident than before. "We can wait with you."

"I'll be fine." You grinned, flashing a peace sign next to your face for good measure. "It's a little cold out, but I'm used to it. You guys should go back and get ready for bed."

Fuuka turned to Yukari, as if silently asking her if it was alright to leave you here unattended. "Alright," Yukari replied, in Fuuka's stead. "But call me if you want me to come back and walk with you, alright? I don't mind. It's dangerous to be out alone, especially when it's getting this late..."

With a shake of your head, you brushed aside her worries. "I've got Mina—Arisato to walk back with me! Hopefully. See you guys at the dorm." With a few more words of concern from the two of them, you finally got them to start heading back. Only after seeing their backs condense into miniscule pinpricks did you finally crouch down, laying your head on your arms as you waited for a certain employee to finish cleaning up and get out.

It took ten minutes of you contemplating whether to go check out the claw machine or not before the door opened, and a familiar figure stepped out. You stumbled to rise to your feet, dusting your school uniform off before offering the other a brilliant smile. "Oh, good, you're out. I've been waiting for you."

His eyebrows knit just the slightest bit. "Why?"

Luckily, you were undaunted by his blunt reply. "It's lonely to walk back alone, after all, so I'm here to keep you company! Also, I have a question."

He shoved his hands in his pockets before angling his head towards you, offering a slight nod. His own way of saying go ahead, you had gleaned. He slowly began walking and you followed right beside him. 

"So...about the next full moon operation..." You clasped your hands behind your back, turning to him while making an attempt to match your footsteps with his. It was surprisingly easy, even though Minato had those decently long legs of his. "You know who you're bringing, right?"

He nodded, and you pushed further. "Yukari. You're bringing Yukari."

To this, he had the audacity to shake his head. Ridiculous. Once you got past processing the fact that he didn't have any plans to bring Yukari, you could fully understand how flawed his logic was. If you were him you'd bring Yukari, since you couldn't bring Fuuka. And here he was, missing his chance to see Yukari.

No, this was fine. Maybe he liked Mitsuru or Fuuka. "So...who do you want to bring?"

He seemed to think about it for a moment. "You, Junpei, and Akihiko." 

Ah! "Ah!" You pounded a fist into an open palm. "Of course! You want Akihiko! Sorry, I was too focused on the pretty girl part." You reached out to pat his back knowingly, having grasped with great clarity the truth of the matter. "I understand. I won't get in your way. That's why you're bringing me, right? To be your wingman?"

"...that's not it." He sighed quietly, just as Yukari had. Man, were you missing something? Bummer.

"You guys keep leaving me out of the loop. Is there something I'm not getting?" 

And the truth of it all was that in some little way, you did understand why they were all acting this way. Somewhere in the back of your mind you could comprehend the concept that they were acting like this because your feelings were requited, not unrequited. But it was easier to pretend otherwise, to not acknowledge the idea that your first love since ending up here was doomed to fail from the start. And you liked him regardless. Was he the bigger idiot for liking someone knowing he was going to die, or were you?

He was perfectly content with dodging the same way Yukari always did. "It's nothing."

Yes, nothing at all. 

Needless to say, the next full moon operation arrived in the weeks following. You dutifully went along with Akihiko and Junpei to Shirakawa Boulevard, fully intent on supporting Minato through charming his senpai. It sure took a lot out of you pretending you didn't know what was up with the mirrors. Luckily, you were slowly learning the ropes of gentle deception for the greater good, and didn't alert Junpei and Akihiko. Granted, they leaned more on the himbo end of the spectrum, but a victory was a victory. 

Only as soon as your memory went hazy, you woke up in the shower. Luckily, you snapped out of it relatively soon thanks to accidentally slipping and full body slamming against the shower floor. You crawled to your feet, mind depressingly clear. "Oh my god! Akihiko! Where is he? Why am I here?" You pounded a fist against the clear glass of the shower wall, quickly withdrawing your hand for fear of shattering the glass. 

You toweled off and refused to think about why you were the one partnered up with the protagonist. You threw on your clothes and stepped out of the room buttoning up your school jacket, desperately trying to rub your hair dry with the towel.

Minato was standing by the door with his katana held firmly in one hand, and he turned to look at you briefly. You swallowed your immediate outburst and approached him, forgoing Yukari's slapstick routine for a rare moment of honesty.

"Why am I here? You know, as your partner for this and everything." You cradled the handle of your naginata closer to your chest, wringing out a few last droplets of water. "Akihiko-senpai makes more sense." I mean, it's not like I'm your love interest, right? 

It was as if he couldn't understand your plight. "Why wouldn't you be?" Because you're meant to love anyone but me. Because I don't know how I'll be able to live with myself if I let this go further. Because we both know you're going to die, so it's inevitable any relationship of ours will be permanently marred by this fact, so why—

And even among the mess in your mind, the overlay of thought against thought, something new emerged from the sea of white noise. "You're right. Why wouldn't I be?" You buried the malice you held against yourself, and forced the adolescent joy of feeling closer to your crush to the surface. "Shall we get going? Fuuka must be waiting."

He nodded. "Let's go." 

Looking back on it, there was one thing you should've told him. It wouldn't have made a difference in the long run, but it would have saved you plenty of agony. I like you back too. 

As it stood, all you could reply with at the time was a quiet noise of affirmation, as if trying to soothe the worries blooming in your chest.

Chapter Text

You were working through your most recent assignment, taking a small break to check your phone since you were making good progress ahead of time. For now, you could only see notifications from one groupchat you were in. It was surprising how active it was, considering the four of you were hardly related at all, except for one single thread linking you all. And the English. It helped you only communicated in English. You tapped on the banner, inputted your password, and started reading about whatever they were squabbling about now.

-

3 idiot + 1 smartass protagonists

akiyama

no, you have to pour the cereal in first

( `ε´ )  you're a disgrace to the studies in social-cultural psychology

koharu

Do you even hear yourself?

If you pour the cereal in first, then the milk, the cereal gets soggy.

akiyama

you're a failure of social conditioning. i bet you tell yourself you have friends to rely on, knowing that if it came down to it, they wouldn't lift a finger to help you if you were truly in need. does it feel good, playing the edgy teenager? does it? does it, koharu?

koharu

Are all psychology majors and doctorates like you? Just psychoanalyzing anyone they come across?

akiyama

yes

nk i see you typing what's up

nk

the order doesn't matter to me

sometimes i pour the cereal first, sometimes the water

akiyama

THE WATER?

koharu

Water?

nk

yeah lol milk is too strong for me

akiyama

koharu, let's block them

koharu

Agreed.

nk

do it. cowards

You

theyre joking !! we got breakfast w nk before rmber

cereal first then milk

nk

i've been exposed

akiyama

you almost had me going spanish inquisition wtf  (；⌣̀_⌣́)

koharu

That joke was in poor taste. 

nk

prolly tastes better than my starbucks order

whipped cream and water

akiyama

(￢_￢;) bruh

koharu

I will fly over to America myself. I know where you live.

nk

what're you going to do? try to sell me one of your products?

koharu

I will surgically remove every joint from your body.

You

actually i think we should meet up!!

i have plenty of stockpiled vacation days

nk

so koharu can remove my joints? no thanks

akiyama

wait if you pay for my first class ticket i'll go

koharu

And your students?

akiyama

σ(￣、￣〃) what students?

nk

why don't you just get a sub lol

You

then we should! meet up that is

akiyama

nah

save your vacation days for hawaii

You

? what?

akiyama

oh you're not there yet

um. forget i said that

-

Before you could reply, another notification popped up. You absentmindedly tapped on it, seeing it was from Akira. What greeted your eyes was a map, detailing his location. So he sent his location? You squinted at the little red pin a little ways from where you were, down the middle of the street. Another message sent, with his location further down the street, as if he were traveling.

-

You

someone i know just sent me his location

whats up with that?

akiyama

OH

WHEN IZUKU WAS GETTING ROBBED HE DID THAT

its a cry for help

You

robbed?

akiyama

yeah lol i went to help him 

turns out it iida was the first one getting robbed but

-

Location, getting robbed...you received another message from Akira, with the pin marking his location further down the street, and it then it hit you. My god. Wasn't this around the time they were finally going to meet Kaneshiro in person? You quickly grabbed your things.

"Sorry, I'm leaving work early!" You made a mad dash for the stairs, not having the patience to explain to your coworkers or wait for the elevator. You hailed the first taxi you saw and quickly entered the back, listing off the location of the seediest building you knew of in Shibuya. You had done your research ahead of time, trying to find a good match to wherever Kaneshiro frequented.

As the taxi sped along, you finally had time alone with your thoughts. Beyond the worry you felt for the Phantom Thieves, you couldn't help but pause and doubt your actions. They'd make it out alright, and this was necessary to be able to get to Kaneshiro's palace, by changing his perception of them.

Getting involved with a piece of shit was never good. But you couldn't shut down Kaneshiro, and he was a necessary target for the Phantom Thieves because Makoto would join. And maybe Mitsuru would help you if anything happened to you, but she had already done so much for you. It would be boorish of you to continue relying on her goodwill stemming from Minato's sacrifice. 

Akira sent another location ping, having stopped in front of the same building you told the taxi driver. But then again, he trusted you. He had sent you his location, likely in hopes of you reporting to to the authorities or coming along. No matter what happened to you, how could you betray his trust?

Minato, you thought, after stepping out of the taxi minutes after Akira's message. Look, I've inherited your self sacrificial streak, haven't I? And without a second thought, you entered the building in pursuit of the group of teens.

You arrived at their corner of the bar after their picture was taken. "Are you guys okay?" you asked, sparing no glance towards Kaneshiro, only standing by the Phantom Thieves with clear concern reflected in your eyes. 

"And who the hell are you?" you ignored Kaneshiro in favor of shoving his goons aside to gently take Makoto's arm and drag her to her feet. Before the one holding her down could hit you, you kneed him between the legs and quickly pulled Makoto back to the Phantom Thieves, who quickly accepted her into the center of their circle.

"I should be saying that to you," you replied, taking a stance in front of them. "Go ahead, take my picture. I'm already at the legal age of drinking and if you get any drugs in the shot, I'll call a defense attorney since any picture you take is flimsy evidence of me taking narcotics."

Kaneshiro didn't react, which only meant his anger was stewing beneath his calm words. "Look at you running your mouth off. You know, I really hate people who think too highly of themselves. Like you."

You quirked your mouth up in a grin. "Aren't you describing yourself? Why don't you invest some of that money in a personal trainer and better hair? With the way things are now, your hairline is going to recede into the back of your meatball sized head." He clicked his tongue, and you let out a scathing giggle. "Aw, did I hit a nerve? Is baby's feelings hurt? Your clothes are so tacky, are you trying to be cast as a gangster?"

"We'll see how long you can keep that smart mouth of yours." He had since regained his composure, and flashed a row of teeth in a truly insidious smile. "Since I'm so kind, I'll give you some advice. Sleep with one eye open."

"I see I'll be sleeping more soundly from now on," you replied, and quickly turned back to the rest of them. "Come on, let's get out of here."

"Three weeks!" Kaneshiro called from behind as you ushered them out of the entrance. "Don't forget it."

As you exited the place with them, you let out a huge sigh and adjusted your grip on your bag, before turning to the rest of them. "I know I already asked, but you're all fine, right?"

"How did you know?" Ryuji quickly burst out. "I-I mean, I'm glad you were here, but how did know we were here specifically?"

You took out your phone and opened up your messages with Akira, showing the rest of them the series of locations he shared with you. "I came to help out! I mean, it's my duty as the oldest one here to get you out of these situations, right?"

Beside you, Makoto stared at your phone, and how you actually had Akira as a contact. She peered up at you, expression suddenly hesitant and mistrustful. "...you guys know each other?"

Ann seemed to understand the underlying meaning well enough. "Wait, if you're saying that, then that means...you two also know each other?" There was no sense in deftly avoiding the topic any longer and you nodded matter of fact, as if you hadn't technically lied out of omission towards them.

"She's friends with my sister," Makoto slowly explained, "but I didn't think you were involved with them. Why do you know them?"

"I ran into them at some point, so I joined their group." Makoto turned towards the rest of them, gauging their expressions.

"Is that true? Is she a part of..." She made a vague sweeping gesture of her hand, trying to nonverbally imply the Phantom Thieves without giving it away to you. Luckily for her, you had enough of vaguely referring to them. There was only one more secret left for you to keep, and it certainly wasn't that you were a part of the Phantom Thieves now.

"I'm a part of the Phantom Thieves, yes. They saved me at some point, so I joined them to help change the hearts of corrupt adults." You gave her a sheepish laugh, trying to come across as unassuming and innocent as you could. "...are you mad I didn't say anything?"

Ryuji, on the other hand, was just as surprised. "So you already knew 'bout her when we were talking? For real?"

"Yes, she and my sister share an...interesting relationship." Makoto's voice dripped in innuendo, and were it any other situation, she may have been right. Maybe if Sae was interested in women and maybe if you were interested in pursuing a romance, Makoto's concerns would be well founded. But there was a world of differences to be found in that hypothetical scenario and how your life currently was. "And I'm not mad," she continued. "Not for now, at least. I can...understand why you wouldn't have said anything, especially because of my sister. You don't want her to hate you, right?"

That definitely was some of it. You didn't want to tell her the biggest reason was because you couldn't be bothered to, and also because you thought the reveal would be funny. "Yeah. But I guess there's no point in avoiding it now." You put your phone away, and crossed your arms, taking on a more comfortable stance while facing everyone else. "But we should talk about what happened now, right?"

Sure enough, they broke into the sort of canon conversation you remembered happening in the original, exposition into Makoto's reasoning and all. For the most part you stayed quiet and let them work through their palace problems, only chiming in once in a while once directed to. It had always been this way when it came to the Phantom Thieves. Some part of you could only think of them as business partners, not a group of friends for you to talk too much in.

After they all came to the conclusion that Makoto would allow them into the palace and directly transported her in, you waited for them to finish explaining how they worked before Makoto finally turned to you and realized one of these Phantom Thieves was not like the others.

"And what about you?" she asked. "Everyone else is in some sort of costume, but you look exactly the same..."

"They fight with something called personas you'll see later in action," you offered. "That's what gives them their costume. It's a physical manifestation of, well...I won't get into it. I just...don't have that same luxury."

"Then I guess we're in the same boat." Not for long, you didn't tell her. Not for long.

Before you ascended the little elevator up to Kaneshiro's bank, Akira passed you one of his spare guns. "You should stay back," he quietly said, "since you don't have your naginata."

You were only a burden without Chang'e. Still, you took his gun with a smile, hiding your misgivings with cheer. "Alright, dear leader." You hadn't said that since high school, but the words were stuck in your throat, and you tasted bitterness on your tongue. For a moment, you had this distinct memory—Minato handing his evoker to you, once. Here. 

At once, his words and presence faded, and you belated realized you were staring up at Akira with uncharacteristically wide eyes. Seeing everyone else give you quizzical looks, you held the gun firmly in your hand. "Sorry, you just reminded me of someone." Of who you wouldn't say.

Afterwards, you hung back, just as Akira said, waiting with sharp eyes to catch Makoto's awakening. And awaken she did. You pressed a hand to your chest as she did so, trying to see if it would change anything in you. For a moment, you contemplated pressing the gun to your head and trying your luck, but then you'd worry everyone else, and they had better things to do than be concerned for you.

Nothing happened. Not to you, at least. You fled in the Monamobile with the rest of them, and leaned against the Shibuya crossing railway as you waited for them to finish their conversation. This time, it was Makoto who approached you afterwards, looking a lot less reserved than she normally was.

"Will you still be coming over sometimes?" She stood her ground, meeting your eyes. "My sister does like you, and I'll make sure she doesn't find out about our...circumstances. And...I was thinking we could hang out more."

"Of course." The smile on your face felt warm enough to melt. "Anytime. We're basically partners in crime at this point."

The next day all of you dove right into the palace, ready to finish it off before the deadline. When you finally reached the topic of the game plan for this particular palace, Makoto expressed disbelief no one worked off a plan. Specifically, she turned to you.

"You're telling me you haven't been planning anything?" You swallowed and pointed at yourself.

"No? Why are you looking at me specifically?"

Makoto sighed. "My sister often tells me about how accomplished you are, so I thought..." You focused on the first part of her words.

"She talks about me? And she thinks I'm accomplished?" You were pleased with yourself for once. Makoto looked a little more confused.

"Well, yes? You make an impressive salary at a company known to have high standards for employees, and you have your own Wikipedia page for being the author of a famous children's storybook." Your meager pride towards yourself faded at that. You had a good salary because you were involved with Mitsuru-senpai, and you had a Wikipedia page not for writing that storybook.

You shook your head, seeing them all look at you. "Actually, my...friend wrote it. He died before it was published, so I had it published under his name posthumously." The thought of Akinari hurt, but that pain had since dulled in the years following his death. Unlike Minato, you could force yourself to come to terms that he was always going to die, but it was because of the circumstances of his birth, not martyrdom.

"Seriously? It's good enough for you to get a Wikipedia page? You've gotta be makin' loads of money off that!"

You shook your head again. "Actually, I donate all royalties to research towards fatal genetic conditions like the one he had. His mom didn't want the money, so that was the least I could do. I didn't publish it because I wanted money or fame." You sighed quietly. "I loved his story, so I just wanted others to read it too. He'll always be remembered that way, I think." You blinked out your stupor to see everyone staring at you with a mix of sympathy and pity, and you quickly regretted having spilled your guts like that. "Oh, but don't worry about it! I'm sure we'll meet again, he and I, so I'm not that sad. We've got a palace to clear, right?"

Still, you couldn't help but think that they tread a little more carefully around you after that. Now that Makoto had joined the team, Akira let you stay in the backlines a lot more, perhaps already having gotten a good sense of where your skills lay. So what if you were good with the naginata? As it stood, it made a lot more sense for a persona user to occupy your space, especially since you couldn't exactly take any hits or dish out high damage without one.

You tried to not let it get to you. Even so, after the calling card was sent and the plan was set in motion to finally capture Kaneshiro's heart came up, you remained far from the battle, reduced to cheering on the sidelines for a bunch of teenagers who had more potential than you did. It was just like the Madarame fight, you realized, sitting on a pile of cash as Kaneshiro rubbed his hands together. 

There was nothing you could do. You couldn't remember elemental weaknesses because it had been years since your memory of other times ended, and it had been years since you had fought with a persona regardless. You could only toss beads and restoration items towards them, but even the thanks they directed at you wasn't enough to ease your guilt. 

Kaneshiro transformed into a giant mecha pig. You sat back down on the nearest pile of cash, watching their fight with the eyes of an uninvolved spectator. Still, they finished it relatively quickly, and as soon as they were done you got up and wandered to where they stood, watching Kaneshiro cling to his gold like the world's worst miser.

He talked about a mysterious persona user, who you knew to be Akechi. Good old Akechi. What happened with him anyways? You hadn't heard a thing about him at all from the Phantom Thieves, for some reason. They had met him, right? You sure hoped he did. Though now you were probably getting a little ahead of yourself. It felt like for some reason this whole Kaneshiro conflict had ended itself too fast, but that wasn't your problem.

You gathered in Akira's room after getting back to the real world to check out the briefcase Morgana snatched as the treasure. Even as they marveled over the money, you kept quiet so as to not burst their bubble too soon. After they naturally found out and burst their own bubbles, you took your chance to ask Akira the question that had been stuck in your mind.

"You know, this battle went by super quick. Was that just me?"

Ann shook her head. "Actually... I feel like it ended really fast too. Why did you make it go by faster? I mean, not that I'm complaining, but I thought you'd be the type to wait it out."

Akira nodded once, directing his stare towards you. "You'd be bored waiting." 

"Me? I'd be bored?" He nodded again, and you couldn't help but feel fondness explode in his chest. Goodness, kids grew up so fast. Here he was rushing out the boss battle so you wouldn't be bored waiting for him. It was a little painful knowing he did this because you were so useless you had to sit out, but you could ignore that in favor of rubbing his hair affectionately. If you had a kid, you thought, you'd want one like Akira. Very filial. "Wow, I'm touched. Children really do grow up so fast."

"You're the mom in this scenario?" Ann looked skeptical. You nodded. "How old are you anyways, in that case? You never specified."

Well... "Twenty-two! Probably." 

"Probably?" A moment later, Ann focused on the other part of your reply. "Hold on, twenty-two? Shouldn't you still be in college? And that's only a six year age difference between us!"

"Oh, I graduated early and I was hired by the Kirijo group. And six years is a lot."

Yusuke apparently disagreed. "For siblings, maybe, but there are commonly examples of up to a decade's age difference between those. However, I find myself more interested in the fact that you were hired so young. I must admit, I did not associate you with being more than an ordinary adult."

"Is...is that a compliment? I'll take it as a compliment." It was true you graduated early and true you were hired as soon as Mitsuru could usher you into her company, but your circumstances were rather unique. "Thank you for the compliment."

"Take it as you wish."

You awkwardly smiled at that, before standing to your feet to stretch. "Then I'll get going now. I trust we'll only hear an admission of guilt out of Kaneshiro's mouth later?"

"Of course." Akira held your gaze steady and firm, so you found it in you to trust another wild card. 

That night, you received a call from Fuuka. "My boss gave me a week off," she explained, "because I helped resolve an important cyber security issue, so I was thinking...do you mind if I come visit Tokyo for a while?"

"You don't even need to ask!" you quickly took a glance around your room, gauging how clean it was. You needed to pick up a few things lying around, but it was generally spotless since you had forced yourself to learn the habit of picking up after yourself. "Why don't you come stay with me? I have a guest bedroom anyways, and I'll gladly be your tour guide!"

"Well...are you sure? I wouldn't want to burden you." Still, she sounded a lot more confident than she would've been in high school, which was a marked change you were glad you could witness. 

Even though she couldn't see, you shook your head. "You're never a burden, Fuuka. Besides, we haven't had a chance to really catch up since March. I've been meaning to show you around Tokyo anyways! Let me know when you're arriving so I can come pick you up at the station." You didn't have a car, but there were plenty of taxis to be hailed.

You had her hook, line, and sinker at that point. "I can help pay for groceries," she offered. You knew she would insist on at least doing that much, so you readily agreed. "...it'll be nice to see you again."

"Of course!" You grinned into the back of your hand, unable to keep your happiness from leaking into your voice. "You're one of my bestest friends, Fuuka. Even though I know we don't live in the same city anymore, I'm always thinking of you."

"R-really?" She sounded surprisingly pleased at that. "Well...I guess that's because we're friends..."

You made a noise of agreement. "Yes? Is there something wrong?"

Fuuka backtracked, immediately going, "oh, no, nothing's wrong. I'm just...happy! That's all. I better go now and start packing things up and taking care of personal business before I get to Tokyo."

"Alright. Talk to you later?"

"Yes, talk to you later." You hung up first, flopping onto your couch with a sigh, surveying your apartment room. No good. There were way too many papers on the kitchen counter for some reason. You got up with a second, smaller sigh, and prepared yourself for a late night room cleaning, just for Fuuka. 

It wasn't like the Phantom Thieves would go right into Futaba's palace, right? You had enough time for a week to hang out with Fuuka, no problem. As if sensing the impermeable good mood you had, your familiar dreams of not-quite Minato didn't surface that night.

Chapter Text

The day after Mitsuru announced her plans for the gang to head to Yakushima for a fun beach episode, you remembered that the suitcase you had isekai'd into the game with had a great variety of outfits, but not a single swimsuit. That was not good. You did not want to head to the beach in shorts, fall into the water, or have your clothes start crusting over with salt water on the way back. Not, like, out of personal experience or anything. Of course not.

That significant wardrobe malfunction lead to you gathering Fuuka and Yukari in the SEES dorm lobby very seriously to ask them if they had any swimsuits.

"Only a really old one," was Yukari's reply. "Should we go get one together? I've wanted to get something new for a while anyways. What do you think, Fuuka?"

She nodded. "I only have a school swimsuit, so it'd be nice to finally get one of my own. If it's not a problem to go with you guys, that is."

"Of course it's not!" You clutched your shoulder bag tightly, before ushering them up the stairs to get their own wallets. You unfortunately did not make quite as much money from Chagall as you wish you could've, so for once you wouldn't be able to foot the bill. Alas. Once you hit adulthood you vowed to always treat your friends whenever possible, if you could afford it.

Seeing how passionate you were about getting a swimsuit, the two complied and came back out with bags of their own, and you waved goodbye to the boys who were playing the newly released Dragon Quest IX instead of studying for exams. They crowded around Minato on the couch, pointing at his tiny ass Nintendo DS screen to convey their directions. "Go back to the other hair, that one looks more like—" you could hear Junpei going.

Yukari stopped to give the trio a disdainful look. "Shouldn't you be studying for exams?"

"We're just taking a break! Right?" Junpei elbowed Minato, who looked up from his screen to nod along to Junpei's words. 

"We'll, uh, go right back to studying later." Akihiko peered down at the screen, shaking his head. "Are you sure you're good at character creation, Junpei? This doesn't look anything like me."

"Of course I am! Look, that's basically you. White, spiky hair, and a martial artist. Minato can testify."

The man himself held up his DS next to Akihiko's face, as if comparing Junpei's in-game creation to the real thing. "It's alright," was his lukewarm response. Yukari sighed, turning back to you.

"Ignore them. Let's just go before it gets dark." It wouldn't anytime soon, considering it was still morning, but you and Fuuka exchanged a glance and nodded, following Yukari out the door. When you got back, you'd have to ask Minato if you could try playing too. You had nearly forgot Nintendo DS consoles existed at this point of time, which was really an oversight on your part. In your defense, the 2000s was a very messy time period.

It didn't take long to arrive at a nearby mall that actually had a swimsuit selection. You browsed through the racks halfheartedly, not seeing anything you were really into. It seemed like the other two were also baffled by the sheer amount of swimsuit options there were. Out of curiosity, you decided to ask Yukari a very simple question. "Do you have any ideas for what you're going to get?"

"You mean for the swimsuit?" She wrinkled her nose slightly in thought. "To be honest, not really." She picked up a dark blue tankini and quickly shoved it back onto the rack after seeing the atrocious frills.

"Well, in that case..." You tried to bring up your very own memories, eyes looking all around for something that matched. "I think a pink bikini would suit you." 

"You think so?" She didn't look opposed to the idea, because of course she wouldn't be, considering she had picked the same exact thing her first time around. "That does sound like something I'd get. Sure, I'll see if I can find one." Seemingly following your directive, she picked out a light pink bikini that wasn't quite what you remembered.

She'd find the right one at some point, you were sure of it. But there was one other person who required your assistance, and you were nothing if not friendly. "And Fuuka," you began, turning towards your other friend, "I think you'd like a blue halter top. Maybe...this one?" You pulled out one of the light blue ones you had been eyeing since you walked in, having been unsure if it was the right one. The more you looked at it the more you were convinced it was the one.

Fuuka had been holding a one piece, and she stopped to approach your own choice. "Are you sure?" she asked. "I-I mean, it looks nice, but I don't know..."

"Oh, do you not like it?" You turned it around to give yourself a good look. No, it looked exactly like you thought it did, being as modest as a two piece could be, with a cute skirt to go along with it.

"No, I didn't mean like that... Do you really think that would fit me? It's a little..." She eyed your offering warily. You quickly held it back to your chest in alarm. 

"I meant it when I said I think it'd fit you, but I don't want to make you wear it!" You nodded after your words to corroborate with the fact. "If it makes you uncomfortable, just go for something you like."

Fuuka hesitated, eyes darting between the one piece she chose and your teal two piece. "W-well, I guess it can't hurt to try it on..." She put hers back on the rack, taking the swimsuit from you. "Please give me a moment." 

Yukari came back up with a pink bikini just as Fuuka entered the fitting room. "What do you think?" she asked, holding it up to her chest. "Does it look good enough?"

"Of course!" You took a moment to really reconsider Yukari. "You'd look nice in anything, though." She closed her eyes and grimaced slightly at your words, before her expression returned back to normal.

"You should be careful talking like that, or someone might get the wrong idea." 

To that, you put on an inquisitive look. "What wrong idea?"

"...it's nothing. Don't worry about it." Yukari quickly tucked the bikini under her arm and approached a nearby fitting room, further opening its already ajar door. "Oh, did Fuuka already go in? In that case, we should find you something." She shuffled in without a second thought, shutting the door.

"I'll just pick out whatever's on sale," you decided, standing a little closer to the door so she could hear. You could hear the quiet rustle of her clothing as she changed out of her clothes to try it on. 

"If we've come all this way, you might as well get something nice too." She paused for a moment, likely turning around to check herself out in the mirror. "Could you get me a smaller size? I have a medium on right now."

"No problem!" you left to go hunt down that elusive bikini, weaving through other high schoolers shopping for summer swimwear before you found where Yukari had gotten hers from. You rifled around for the right size, before triumphantly carrying back for her. You tossed it in from the top, and you could hear Yukari scramble catch it.

She evidently did, because you didn't hear it hit the floor. "Thanks," came her reply. "You know, you have pretty good taste. I think this is fine."

Just as Yukari was preparing to exit, Fuuka did first, carrying the swimsuit you had picked out for her. She flustered a little under your stare, but you thought that was normal. "I think I'll go with this one," she told you, straightening out her clothes as the smoothed down the fabric of the two piece. "You like it, right?"

You pointed at yourself. "Me? Well, I do, but I think you're cute regardless if you wear it or not." Fuuka, too, stilled just as Yukari had, though she looked just as flustered as before in the process. 

"Well, then, I guess it's always good to try new things out." Yukari exited afterwards, holding in her hands the smaller size bikini you had grabbed for her prior. 

"Oh, there you are, Fuuka. Are you going to get that?" 

"Yes!" Yukari appraised her choice of garment before nodding satisfactorily, turning to you with that sharp gleam in her eye. 

"So that just leaves you." She strode over to a nearby rack, eyes raking through the options with startling speed. She picked out three in an instant, holding them up one by one to hold against your torso. "Is there anything specific you're looking for?" 

Now, when it came to wearing a swimsuit, there was only one main person you'd consider wearing it for. No question who, obviously, but then it came down to what he'd be into, and you genuinely had no clue about that. School swimsuit? No, he seemed more refined than that. Maybe a bikini too, since every girl but Aigis had one, and he could date every girl and Aigis. And then there was Aigis. No question what she'd wear. "A blue dress?"

Yukari put back the bikini she had picked up. "Then...how about this?" She picked out a frilly one piece instead, but you couldn't get a hint of Aigis's pure, simple blue fashion from it. You shook your head in disagreement, helping Yukari set it back onto the rack.

"I guess that's hard to ask for when it comes to swimsuits... How about just a normal blue swimsuit?" Oh no, Fuuka also had a blue swimsuit. "A dark blue one."

Fuuka quickly joined Yukari in searching, though she wasn't experienced as you or Yukari in speed flipping through each clothes rack. She picked out more than enough options fitting your specifications regardless, and the three of you managed to sort through the whole store in a short while.

In the end, there were only three decent designs at an affordable price. You settled on your favorite of the three, and thus ended your brief but enjoyable swimsuit shopping trip with the girls. 

Yukari switched hands for the shopping bag, swinging her hand a couple of times in an attempt to get blood flowing back in again. "Do you think they're still playing that game?"

"You mean Dragon Quest IX?" Yukari slowly nodded.

"You know about it?"

"Of course! I heard all the hype about it so I looked it up, and wow, I did not realize one of those games came out in 2009." Obviously, you knew it was a popular franchise, but you weren't a superfan or anything. Shame you weren't, or you'd be lording over all the fans in the forums with your future knowledge.

From your side, Fuuka smiled a little, sincerely and sweetly. "Do you like these kinds of games?"

"They're fun!" said the person who didn't make enough to buy a DS yet. In your defense, you were preoccupied with buying other material goods and Minato had his hoard of wealth from Elizabeth's missions or something. "Maybe they're still playing."

"I hope not..." Fuuka, bless her soul, seemed genuinely worried. "There's still exams coming up before Kirijo-senpai takes us to Yakushima..."

Shaking her head, Yukari had on her classic mildly disappointed expression. "I'm not worried about our leader, but Junpei and Sanada-senpai? They should know better."

"They must've been really excited about that game." Turning back to you, Fuuka had on a slightly embarrassed smile. "I guess if you like it, it must be pretty good!" 

You were more than a little touched Fuuka had such faith in you. "Aw, thank you!" You dove in for a hug with your non-Japanese sensibilities, and though startled, she eventually returned the hug hesitantly. Though you had to end it pretty quickly, since Yukari was waiting there for the two of you.

"You know," Yukari began, when you pulled away from Fuuka, "I don't think I'll be able to get used to your sudden hugs."

"Is it that weird?" You continued walking with them, rounding a familiar path down to the dorm. "I can stop if you want."

She slowly shook her head. "I'm not used to it, but... I guess it'd be kind of weird for me to tell you to stop."

"Not all at! If it makes you uncomfortable, I'll stop right away." 

When she saw you were serious, she gave a small smile that didn't quite reach her eyes. "No, it's...it's nice." She seemed sincere about that, at least, but there was something else she couldn't quite bring herself to say. It wasn't your place to pry, regardless.

That night, you curiously picked up Minato's DS, and seeing how he didn't react you continued to look through his game as he studied for exams. You had originally come over for extra help with Japanese history, but you had gone over it faster than expected, so all that was left was hanging out while he took care of his own business.

You looked through his roster of characters. He, Junpei, and Akihiko were well-recognizable, but you stopped on his final party member, who bore striking resemblance to yourself. "Is this me?" you held out his console towards him, and he lifted his head to take a look, before nodding and returning to his work. 

When you thought he wasn't looking, you grinned stupidly at the Dragon Quest version of yourself, down to hairstyle and hair color. So he thought of you when you weren't there. It was partly the mortifying ordeal of being known, but partly the gratifying experience of having a real presence in a place where you'd expect to have none.

You excused yourself after playing around a little on his DS to skim through some textbooks in preparation as well. The end result was obvious. You came in second place, Minato in first, and the rest of your pals somewhere behind. Minato left to get his reward from Mitsuru as you glowered at the test score leaderboard. Yukari stood beside you and pat your back. 

"At least you passed, right?" At the cost of your dignity, maybe.

"Next time... I'll get him next time..."

Unlike Junpei, Yukari gave you the benefit of the doubt. "If it's you, you might have a chance. Good luck." Though it kind of felt like she didn't believe in you, but you could give her the benefit of the doubt this give.

Arriving at Yakushima went without a hitch, and you dressed yourself as fast as you could, excited to see Yukari, Mitsuru, and Fuuka in their swimsuits. You stumbled out the door with a thin jacket half draped around your shoulders, nearly slipping on the warm sand under your toes. There was only Junpei, Akihiko, and Minato around, with Junpei looking rather affronted, as if you had interrupted his conversation with your mere presence. Which...probably, considering what kind of topic Junpei would bring up at the beach.

Scrambling your way over across the sand, you finished tugging your arms into the sleeves of your jacket, before peering at them curiously. "So what's with the silence?"

"You look..." Junpei paused and eyed your appearance. You would've found it weird, had he not looked at you as if he were some trained fashion veteran rather than a leering guy. "You look pre-tty good. I dunno why, but it feels more like I'm looking at my sister than anything..."

Sister-zoned without even trying. "Aww, you're like a brother to me too, Junpei-nii." The words sounded weird off your lips. "Did I say that right?"

"Yes," he sarcastically replied, "and never say it again. You make it sound so weird."

"Whatever you say, Junpei." You turned towards Minato, stretching your arms out to show off your swimsuit. Seeing as Akihiko was still there, you flapped your arms and peered in his direction too. "What do you think? Yukari and Fuuka helped pick it out."

With a straight, passive face, he said, "you look good," and stopped to point at a spot by his cheek. "Sunscreen."

"Hm?" You tried patting down the part of your cheek, mirroring his actions, but you couldn't feel anything. He reached out and rubbed his thumb over your cheek for a moment, before drawing his hand back. Despite considering yourself very mature who very well knew better than to get hung up over such a small action, you clapped a hand to your cheek and ducked down, crouching on the sand with your face buried in your arms. 

"I think you killed her," Junpei commented, just as Akihiko asked, "hey, you good?"

"I'm good!" you bounced right back up, laughing awkwardly to try to hide your flustered state. "Where's Yukari and Fuuka? There's Yukari and Fuuka! I'm going to—I'm just going to go. Haha. See you." Then you made your escape to the girls, skidding to a stop in front of them, pretending you hadn't just run away from the very people they were walking towards.

"Hey, you alright?" Yukari peered over your shoulder to look at the group of boys. "Junpei didn't make any weird comments, did he?"

"Not really." You checked the two out in the most natural, just friends being friends kind of way you could manage. "You guys look super cute! Come on, let's go meet up with the others so they can see too!" You tugged them both along, despite Yukari's exasperated but light-hearted protests, and Fuuka's flustered hand gestures.

Before Junpei could make a joke at your expense for running away and coming back right after, you took on an excited pose, directing both your hands at your friends. "Look! Pretty, right?" Sure enough, Junpei was true to his roots and immediately launched into a detailed description of how he felt looking at two pretty girls in swimwear. 

After Junpei was done simping, you went running right for the water, taking a few practice laps in the saltwater to test out your muscles. Minato seemed far more content sitting under an umbrella, eyes closed as if in meditation. You eventually came back to him with a borrowed bucket full of water. The bucket, of course, came from a rather mature kid who had no qualms handing over his colorful plastic tools.

Your original intention was to keep him company by making him a nice little sandcastle. Despite your best attempts, you weren't as nimble with your fingers as you had originally led yourself to believe. Once your messy creation crumbled for the third time, Minato leaned forward and took the little shovel in his hands, sculpting something that wouldn't look out of place in an amateur sand building contest. 

You stared at him suspiciously, even while admiring his handiwork. "I bet you have a lot of experience, that's why." Being ever so cautious, you kept your grabby fingers well away from his castle, terrified you'd send the whole thing crumbling back into lumps of wet sand. "Okay, I'm going to go race Akihiko-senpai!" 

So maybe you lost horribly, but in the long run, you wouldn't even remember this in six years, so it didn't matter. Yukari and Fuuka had to half drag you back to Mitsuru's vacation home after you expended all your energy rematching Akihiko until your leg cramped and he had to drag you out of the water. Good times.

Anyways, what awaited you had almost forgot about, until you saw the serious expression on Mitsuru's father as he sat you all down. Suddenly, the slight dip in the sofa where Yukari sat next to you felt that much deeper. 

The rest was as it always was. Yukari, after having watched the video and faced with Mitsuru's uncharacteristic fumbling for words, stormed off towards the beach. Fuuka mentioned that someone should go after her, and Mitsuru's eyes shifted between you and Minato, before deciding on the latter. "Will you go...?" she asked, voice quiet. "I would ask you to go too," she added, turning towards you, "but in this case...I think it's better if he goes."

"...sure." He got up and left in the same direction Yukari did, with no hesitation at all. You stared after him for a moment, before turning back to the group. A few moments passed in awkward silence, as Junpei tried to revive a few conversations. You got up after another botched topic faded into silence. 

"I'm going to check on them," you said. "It's going to be the dark hour after all, so..."

"Oh...thank you." Fuuka smiled pleasantly, though a touch worried. "Hopefully Takeba feels better now..."

"I'll make sure of it!" you reassured Fuuka, and then set off on your own little journey towards the beach, retracing the steps of the two people before you. It was a bit of a struggle remembering which corridors and which doors to pass through, but you made it out of that huge place in record time. 

The beach was more beautiful at night, you decided, feeling the salty breeze against your skin. The waves gently lapped against the shore and the sand had finally cooled down, making the walk over pleasant in its own way. In the distance, you could see two figures, and you decided you wanted to hear as much of their conversation as you could.

Luckily, Yukari was preoccupied with speaking, and didn't hear you approaching from her back, a good distance away so you could eavesdrop while staying unnoticed. Must've been some conversation topic, if she couldn't hear the sand crunch under your feet. When you were dangerously close by, Minato's eyes flitted to yours for a brief moment. You quickly pressed a finger to your lips before cupping a hand behind your ear, and his eyes flickered back. Good man.

Yukari didn't notice at all. "...but you know, I'm glad I got to know her." This isn't the hug scene. What? "She'd be the first to tell me I shouldn't take my anger out on you, but...just like you, she'd listen to me get everything out. So you have to be good to her, alright?"

Hug? you mouthed, making a vague hugging motion with your arms. He ignored you. 

"I will," he replied. 

"Yeah. Good." She took a deep breath. "We should probably get back now... Sorry I took so long."

This wasn't what happened in canon. You walked a little closer, and Yukari jolted once she noticed you. 

"How long have you been there?" She eyed you with more than a little suspicion. "And how much did you hear?"

Sometimes a little lie could go a long way. "Actually, I just got here. Why, is there something I'm interrupting?" They must've hugged earlier. Or he's saving it for Aigis. Maybe he is, but that's a waste of girlfriend material right here.

"No, of course not!" For some reason, Yukari was quick to try to refute your words. "He was just listening to me. Right?" She elbowed him and he nodded. "Right! Anyways, it's going to be the dark hour soon. I'll head back first and give you guys some space."

You waved at Yukari, who made her escape, before turning to Minato, facing each other along the shore. The waves glittered dimly under the meagre moonlight, and you waited to see if he would speak first. When he raised a slight eyebrow and didn't initiate the conversation, you took it upon yourself to. "Sorry I'm not Junpei."

He took your subtle reference to canon smoothly. "Don't be."

Taking your chance, you held out your hand, as if you were some nobleman offering a lady a dance at a ball. "Shall we head back?" You may have been ready to forget about racing Akihiko in swimming all day, but you promised yourself you wouldn't forget this moment. There was something so profoundly bittersweet about offering him your hand at the beach at night—your hand, please, for the last time, said the voice of Theodore in your mind—and you'd never forget it. Even if it came back to haunt you far past these high school days, you'd take it willingly.

He put his hand in yours, and you clasped on tightly, following Yukari's lonely footsteps back to where your friends waited.

Chapter Text

When you finally arrived back home with Fuuka in tow, having had the good fortune of hailing a taxi relatively painlessly, you quickly ushered her into your apartment. "Sorry it's kind of small. I didn't really want to get a whole house since I'm living by myself but—"

Fuuka turned around, seeming to take in every detail of your humble abode. "What do you mean? This is huge for an apartment!"

"Really? Good thing it's not too cramped for you then." You directed her towards the guest room, showing off the room you had stayed up light to clean up spotlessly. She reacted appropriately, marveling at the decor which you had stolen straight out of an Ikea magazine. 

"Wow, your place is amazing." She had that small, soft smile on as she faced you, and you were suddenly hit with how much prettier she had gotten over the years. You thought she looked perfectly fine with short hair too, but her little side braid added a completely different twist to her previously cute looks.

"I'm glad you think so." You gestured towards the bathroom attached to the guest room. "There's a bathroom here. Don't worry, I have two, so don't feel bad about taking your time or anything." Fuuka pressed a hand to her lips for a moment, looking just a touch surprised.

"Are you sure you don't want me to help pay for rent? This place must be expensive."

You waved off her concerns, pulling her back to the living room. "You're just staying for a week! Besides, Mitsuru-senpai raised my salary so much despite me complaining, haha. I think she just feels bad about...you know, Minato." Luckily, you had since learned the art of putting on a smile even if you felt like doing anything but. Fuuka, on the other hand, looked concerned.

"I'm sure that's not why," she insisted. "You've always been such a hard worker and second place in exams! Mitsuru-senpai isn't the type to give you extra money because of that, but rather because she believes you deserve it."

"Is that so?" You didn't agree with her statement, but Fuuka must've sensed you didn't want to talk about it anymore, because she begrudgingly switched the topic.

"I'm afraid I don't really know about Tokyo...where should we go? Oh! If you're not busy, that is."

Luckily, you had already taken care of work. "Oh, I'm free the whole week too. Mitsuru-senpai texted me earlier today giving me the whole week off so I could show you around."

"That's nice of her. So...is there anywhere we should visit?"

Despite having lived in Tokyo for a while, you weren't too well versed on the best tourist attractions. "How about we take a look around Shibuya first?" you offered, pulling that off the top of your head. You'd do some studying tonight once Fuuka went to sleep. "They have so many department stores there. Why don't we just knock out shopping first?"

Fuuka clapped her hands together. "That sounds good." Before you could grab your things to head out the door, a notification appeared on your phone. 

"Oh, give me a second," you quickly said, tapping the notification and inputting your password.

-

pt groupchat for bastards

Akira Kurusu

Are we available for Mementos today?

You

today? sorry, my high school friend is here

ill be with her the whole week but feel free to go without me!

takamaki ann

your high school friend?

Sakamoto Ryuji

The whole week?

You

yeah! if theres something urgent let me know

takamaki ann

oo wait where are you going to take her?

You

were just walking around shibuya!

ill talk to you guys later

takamaki ann

have fun!!

Sakamoto Ryuji

See ya!

Nijima Makoto

Hope you have fun.

Akira Kurusu

Take it easy.

-

"Were those your friends?" Fuuka didn't peek over your shoulder to look, surprisingly, considering you might've done just that had you been her.

Friends was a bit of an overstatement. You were partners only, and you were certain if it weren't for the Phantom Thief business, they would eventually stop talking to you. There was no easy way to explain to Fuuka, however. "Well...sort of?"

"Sort of? I'm sure they are!" Her smile was dazzling, in this case. "I'm glad you have other people you talk to. I-I mean, I'm not saying you wouldn't, but I'm—we're just worried that since we're not all in Tatsumi Port Island anymore..."

It was a little gratifying, hearing that Fuuka and the rest were concerned for you. That you mattered enough that they thought of you, even though you had since moved away from them. "Don't worry about it. We...get along alright! They're pretty young, though, so I'm not sure how to act around them."

Fuuka grabbed her bag and you opened the door for her, closing it once she stepped out. "How old are they?"

"Oh, they're all second years in high school." 

"That's not too young. We met in our second year of high school, after all." 

"That we did." You gently changed the topic towards her current job and life, rather than risk a dicey trip down memory lane. Eventually, you arrived through public transit to Shibuya, where you gladly led her down the streets and pointed out a few stores you liked. It was rather enjoyable, trying on clothes and trying out food. At some point, you agreed on getting a bite to eat at a nearby fast food place.

You opened the door for her once more, and lined up at the counter. "Big Bang Burger reminds me of Wild Duck Burger, actually." Out of the corner of your eye, you could see quite a large group entering, but you paid them no mind. "What do you want? I'll pay."

"No, please let me pay." Fuuka took a close look at the menu above the cash registers. "You've already paid enough for me for as long as we've been friends. I should be the one to return the favor from now on!"

Alas, having known Fuuka for so long, you could tell she wouldn't back off from this. "Alright, just this once," you agreed, and let her swipe her card and pay for your food. The two of you found a booth by the windows to wait for your number to be called, and you chatted about meaningless topics just as you did in high school. 

"Number one hundred sixty-eight!" called the person at the counter, and Fuuka looked down at the receipt in her hand.

"I'll be right back," she assured you, before getting up to grab the tray. You watched her, head propped in your hand, as she made her way back, weaving between a gaggle of teenagers lining up to order. She plopped the tray down with more grace than you had ever had back when you worked at Chagall, taking her seat from across from you.

You took a fry, before gesturing at Fuuka to go ahead. She took one too, and before you could start another conversation, you heard the voices of some very familiar people behind you.

"That is the friend, right? They look around the same age."

"Shh! You don't want her to hear you!"

"You said that louder than he did!" The last voice was very, very familiar, in a loud, endearing way that had spilled more than its fair share of secrets. You turned around.

"Ryuji?" Not only was there Ryuji, but the rest of the Phantom Thieves in varying degrees of ridiculous disguises, looking sheepish at having been caught.

"Uh. Surprise?" Ryuji laughed awkwardly as Ann shot him a death glare. "I just wanna say, it was all Ann's idea."

Ann herself looked mortified. "Hey, you guys went along with it! You're all just as guilty as I am!"

Fuuka tilted her body to get a good look at the people behind you. "You know them? They wouldn't happen to be the people you mentioned being friends with, right?"

"The one and only." You waved for them to come over and they did, walking single-file line with their heads bowed as you and Fuuka begrudgingly made room for them to sit down as well. Akira slid in last, setting the group's tray of food down gently. "So...I'm going to assume you guys were following us?"

"W-well...you don't really talk about yourself so we were, uh, curious!" Ann laughed awkwardly, already looking tired of having to explain everything. She quickly dimmed down, looking more than a bit sad. "...sorry. I know we shouldn't have."

Being way more understanding than you were, Fuuka was quick to refute. "I don't really mind. I know you guys didn't have any bad intentions, so..."

"If Fuuka's not mad, I guess I'm not either. Consider yourselves lucky." You smiled, with a touch of a threat, and got to work introducing them. "This is my good friend Yamagishi Fuuka. And these are the second years: Sakamoto Ryuji, Takamaki Ann, Kitagawa Yusuke, Nijima Makoto, and Akira Kurusu."

"It's very nice to meet you." Fuuka had on a polite smile, perfectly befitting her kind personality.

"You too!" Ann beamed excitedly, plucking a fry from the carton Ryuji held, despite his mild protests. "Sorry it wasn't under better circumstances."

"No, I'm glad it happened. I don't think we would've had the chance to meet otherwise." Fuuka picked up her own burger, gently unwrapping it with dainty fingers. "I'm sure you all must be busy with school." She was about to take a bite, when she noticed something and hesitated. You leaned forward, and noticed something very peculiar.

"Didn't you ask for no pickles?" 

"Well...I did, but I guess I shouldn't make a fuss out of it." You shook your head, grabbing your wallet while standing up. The others sitting in your row quickly got up, so you could slide out of the booth in one quick movement.

"I'll just get you another one. You can pass that to Yusuke or something."

"I'm afraid I don't care for pickles either." 

Ryuji shrugged. "I don't mind 'em. I'll take that off your hands if you don't want it." Fuuka passed him the burger as you left to go get Fuuka another one, specifically without pickles. It didn't take long for you to reach the counter and specifically ask for an order without pickles, and you returned back to the table to see the Phantom Thieves sitting in relative silence.

Makoto noticed you first. "Welcome back," she said, as if her other buddies didn't have such a downer look to them. You slid into your seat and shot them and Fuuka a quizzical look. 

"Did something happen while I was gone?"

"Nothing!" Ann was quick to say, before Fuuka could reply. "Right, guys?"

"Right." Yusuke had the same sad look, but it seemed more mildly inconvenienced on him. And Akira was just blankly staring, although there was something sharp in his eyes you swore you could see. Regardless, you knew you wouldn't get a word out of them, so you shrugged and paid it no mind. 

"Alright, well, your burger should be done soon, Fuuka." You passed her the receipt. "Does this look right?"

"Yes, thank you." She paused, and then grew a slightly horrified look. "Oh no. You paid for me again?"

Perhaps having latched onto the opportunity to change the topic, Ann quickly burst back into talk. "So...did you often pay for Miss Yamagishi?"

"Just Yamagishi is fine," Fuuka assured her. "A friend of a friend is a friend. And to answer for her, yes. I always felt so bad she kept footing the bill when we were younger..."

Ryuji nodded. "Yeah, she still does that now."

"And it's a good thing I do, right? Wouldn't want you guys to expend your meagre savings when I have a paying job." You snatched up a few more fries from your carton. "Anyways, what have you guys been up to today? I'm praying you guys didn't skip school to follow me and Fuuka around."

"Of course not. I wouldn't let them, anyways." Makoto preened a little bit, and you thought that was perfectly fine of her. Wrangling those disobedient children who texted during class into fine, rule abiding students was no easy feat. 

After a while of chatting with Fuuka, you eventually split up. They had their things to do, and you still had to show Fuuka the rest of Shibuya in walking distance. Surprisingly, not a single Phantom Thief tried touching upon your past. Why would they? You were business partners, nothing more.

You finished up the Shibuya tour with an electronics shop just for Fuuka to see if there was anything she wanted to get to upgrade her things. Of course, you stopped by a nearby supermarket with her, getting groceries for whatever Fuuka wanted to eat. 

At home, you prepared dinner with her. As always, cooking with Fuuka led to some unexpected outcomes, but she had done nothing but practice since graduation, so the end result turned out pretty good with your help. She insisted so anyways, and you ate in comfortable silence with her, watching the news occasionally.

After biding her goodnight, you turned on your laptop and started earnestly looking up good tourist destinations in Tokyo. Still, you made sure to get enough sleep to be ready the next day.

One or two days later, you sat with her in the living room as the news played. Kaneshiro's confession. You didn't think too much of it, having expected it long before, but Fuuka watched with wide eyes. Afterwards, your phone began displaying multiple notifications. You didn't actually check them out at first, but Fuuka did.

"You should probably get on the SEES group chat," she said, not looking up from her phone as she typed. You obliged.

-

SEES

fuuka 💘

But it's true that there's more to Phantom Thieves than it might seem...

How else could they change the minds of these people?

junpei 🍜

Hey, ur in Tokyo too rite?

Anything seem up?

Kirijo Mitsuru

She's only been there for a few days. 

However, there is someone who has been in Tokyo since before the Phantom Thieves appeared.

You

yes hello am here

whats this about the phantom thieves?

Kirijo Mitsuru

You saw the television broadcast, yes? 

It was important enough to air outside of Tokyo.

fuuka 💘

Yes, we saw it together.

Kirijo Mitsuru

Is there anything at all about the Phantom Thieves you know?

I can't pinpoint it exactly, but something feels off about all this.

yukari 💖

I agree

I mean, criminals all confessing their crimes after being in contact with the Phantom Thieves?

"Stealing hearts"?

junpei 🍜

Chidori thnks its sus too

Kirijo Mitsuru

I know it's a bit of a stretch, but if there's anything you can say at all...

You

promise you guys won't get mad?

junpei 🍜

Huh? Why would we?

ken 🐕

Is something wrong?

fuuka 💘

I won't!

Kirijo Mitsuru 

That depends on what you're going to say.

ken 🐕

Shouldn't Akihiko be here?

Sanada Akihiko

Just got off work. What's up?

yukari 💖

Scroll up

Kirijo Mitsuru

Scroll up.

Sanada Akihiko

Okay, give me a moment.

Kirijo Mitsuru

Now continue. What were you going to say?

You

so i might.....be part of the phantom thieves

haha

junpei 🍜

WHAT

ken 🐕

Didn't you think so?

junpei 🍜

NO??

ken 🐕

It was kind of obvious. No offense, Junpei.

You

but anyways! i probably shouldnt be telling you guys so keep it a secret please

the reason im telling you guys is cause i trust you all and also theyre persona users

so it does technically concern us

Kirijo Mitsuru

Persona users as well?

I remember you also found a group in...Inaba, was it?

Aigis

YOU HAVE EXTRAORDINARY  SENSES. I MUST LEARN FROM YOU

yukari 💖

Hey Aigis! Did Mitsuru get you a phone?

Aigis

YES. BUT I DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY A

LL THE WORDS ARE CAPITALIZED

yukari 💖

Try tapping once on the caps lock option

Aigis

I DO NOT KNOW WHERE IT IS

yukari 💖

Ken, can you show her later?

ken 🐕

Alright.

Sanada Akihiko

Hey, congrats on that phone Aigis!

Junpei 🍜

??? Dude are u nt seeing the confession to being a phantom thief?

Sanada Akihiko

Oh, that too.

Kirijo Mitsuru

Welcome back, Akihiko.

More importantly, this is a lot of information. 

Persona users that can somehow change the thoughts of criminals...

fuuka 💘

It seems so impossible...but we've accomplished similar feats.

Kirijo Mitsuru

That's true.

For now, keep reporting to me through text. I don't believe we need to interfere since we have you, but it's good to keep an eye on them. 

I won't ask you to reveal their identities for now.

You

thanks for that :)

Kirijo Mitsuru

Of course. And thank you for sharing with us. 

You can trust none of us will do anything with this information.

junpei 🍜

Def not. Chidori won't hear a wrd

yukari 💖

Of course! And make sure you take breaks, okay?

I'm worried the Phantom Thief work and everything else might be too much...

You

thank u yukari ❤️ ill be fine !

yukari 💖

Tell us if you need anything!

I'll be in Tokyo for a while for a shoot. Maybe you, me, and Fuuka can meet up?

You

yes!! ill text u details later

fuuka 💘

Looking forward to seeing you!

-

After the conversation tapered to an end, Fuuka set her phone aside and fiddled with her fingers for a moment. You sat in silence on the couch together while you waited for her to gather her thoughts.

"The second years we met today," she slowly began. "Were they the Phantom Thieves?"

Without letting too much show on your face, you turned towards her with a blank expression. "Why do you think so?"

"We were second years, as well as that group in Inaba. Plus the Phantom Thieves have to be a group you're close with, and they're the first that came to mind." She took a deep breath. "I can't help but think there's something strange going on...so far, it's only been a group of second years who awaken to their personas."

You couldn't straight up tell her it was a Persona plot point, so you shrugged. "It might just be a coincidence. You know, I haven't texted the Inaba crew in a while. I'll have to check in with them."

"Of course!" 

"And why don't we figure out when to get together with Yukari?" Fuuka obliged and scooted closer so you could show her your planned itinerary and where to fit in Yukari when she had the time. That night you slept soundly, having dreamt of your brief but enjoyable time with the Investigation Team.

You met Yukari in a far off place in Shibuya, where there were few people. She wore sunglasses and a surgical hat, but quickly pulled down her mask the moment she saw the two of you to show off her winning grin.

"It's good to see you guys." She put her mask back on, patting down her hair. "Good thing they didn't drag on the photoshoot any longer."

"Let me know when it's out and I'll buy a copy!" Saying that, you quickly linked arms with her, just as you had always done. The action came to you easily, though it did help you got plenty of practice during everyone's yearly visits back to Tatsumi Port Island. "You know, how do you guys feel about coffee and curry?"

The two of them were good friends, and knew right away what you were talking about. "You mean that place where you work part time at, right?" Yukari asked, as you pulled her and Fuuka towards the street, ducking between tourists and everyday people who populated Shibuya. "Sure, I haven't been in a while. Do you want me to go meet his kid again too?"

Yukari did indeed bring up a valid point. "I'll text her once we get on the train," you replied. "Are you sure? I don't want to tire you out either."

"It's fine. A friend of yours is a friend of mine." Even though she still had her mask on, you could tell she was grinning at you. "Besides, I like meeting fans. She's a nice girl anyways. I'm just worried I might be too forward for her..."

"I'd let you know if you were," you assured her. Then again, it wasn't like Futaba was particularly comfortable with you either, so any meetings the two of you had you kept brief so she wouldn't have to flounder around. "I've told you about Futaba, right, Fuuka?"

She tapped her chin, before shyly shaking her head. "No, I don't think so."

"Well, she's Sojiro's adopted daughter, and..." You didn't forget to text Futaba on the way, who replied that she was busy but appreciated the offer. Not as openly as you described, at least, but you thought you understood her well enough. You took the time to catch up with Yukari, who had no shortage of stories from her time in the limelight. 

As you smiled at Yukari while she spoke to Fuuka, you realized something with such stunning clarity you nearly tumbled over yourself to profess it to her: you were glad she was happy. You were glad Fuuka was happy. You were glad that everyone who Minato's death had touched, in some large, in some insignificant, in some deeply touching way that seemed it would never heal, found a reason or a way to move on. They were happy, and they could be happy in your stead, where you couldn't be. That was all.

"Are you okay?" Fuuka concerns reached your ears, and you adjusted your smile to something more befitting the present, and less lost in memories.

"Of course." Fuuka and Yukari shared a look, but said nothing, just as they always had. You found you didn't mind being left out of their telepathic thoughts and was instead perfectly content with letting them do their thing while you watched as a bystander.

Once you reached Yongen-Jaya you quickly led them to LeBlanc, excitedly opening the doors in one sweeping motion with almost as much energy as you used to have in the past. Only what met your eyes was not Sojiro rolling his eyes at you, but Akira and someone you had not thought about in a long while sitting together.

You froze at the doorstep. Akira was leaning on the counter, smiling gently in a way you had never seen before, in such a languid, lovelorn way you caught yourself holding your breath. Across from him sat Akechi Goro in the flesh, sipping at a cup of coffee with his eyes closed. It was a picturesque scene, all aglow in warm lighting, you had unintentionally ruined.

And though it was a habit you had long grown out of, you were unable to control your mouth in that moment. "Oh my god. I am so sorry for interrupting your date."

The lovesick puppy expression of Akira faded into something more natural as he turned to you. Likewise, Akechi, who had not caught that smile on Akira's face turned to you, before smiling his polite people smile. The fake one, that was. "Ah, you must be mistaken. I'm only here to sample the coffee," he offered, in that light, airy tone of his.

"Yes, the coffee, of course it's the coffee. Haha." Love. Was that what you saw? Love for someone destined to die, only Akira would have no real idea. He wouldn't know, wouldn't grapple with it like you had, but if he knew, if he was on a New Game Plus, would he have done as you had? Would he have let fate take its course and grappled with the consequences for the rest of his life?

"My apologies," continued Akechi, ever the charming celebrity in public, "but I haven't caught the names of you or your friends. I'm Akechi Goro. You might've heard of me."

"Oh, yes, I think I've seen you on TV." Saying that, you quickly introduced yourself first, before turning to your friends. "This is my good friend Yamagishi Fuuka, and this is my other good friend Takeba Yukari."

Akechi held out a polite hand for all three of you. When Yukari gave him a hesitant shake, he smiled politely. "It's always nice to meet someone else in showbiz, for a lack of better words."

"Oh, you too." Akechi turned back to you, that picture-perfect smile never once wavering.

"You must be the other part timer. Akira's mentioned you." You looked at Akira with pleasant surprise, who nodded to confirm the statement.

Your smile came easy. "Only good things, I hope."

"Of course. I hear you're quite accomplished as well."

"As are my friends," you calmly replied. "But thank you, I'll take that as a compliment."

Akechi Goro had been a long time coming, and you couldn't say you were completely surprised Akira had taken such a shine to him. You certainly did share a similar taste, liking those doomed by destiny. Luckily for Akira, you had no intention of letting such a thing happen.

Even if it meant the death of you, you'd raise Akechi Goro from the hole he dug himself into. Your life was worth at least that much.

Chapter Text

As soon as November arrived, you spent every waking moment reaffirming with Minato he did actually want to date you and he wouldn't ditch you for, say, a hunky transfer student. With dark hair and a widow's peak. And suspenders. Who happened to be the avatar of Nyx, you left out.

While Minato didn't have any comforting words to offer at first, probably running through his mental image of Ryoji to confirm that yes, you were making a reference to something the both of you skirted around (your knowledge of the future) Junpei sure did. Less words of comfort and more words of incredulity, in any case.

"Where'd that come from?" Junpei, who didn't know about Ryoji, only scratched his head. "Did you have a weird dream or something? Besides..." His voice took on a low, conspiratorial tone. "Our leader's only got eyes for you, if you know what I'm saying."

How could he? It'd make more sense if it were Aigis or Yukari or even Mitsuru. "You never know!" you retorted, though you kept your arm in a vice grip around Minato's. "What if the transfer student is, like, really hot even though he has a widow's peak? And he has a nice voice?"

"I'd still like you," Minato told you. Well, if that didn't completely send you reeling with an elated expression you couldn't wipe off fast enough... 

"Well, that's fine then." That reminded you... "Junpei, have you visited Chidori yet?"

"Yeah, yeah, I have," Junpei grumbled. "You tell me every day. Besides, I don't need you reminding me. Of course I'd visit Chidori daily!"

"With flowers," you chorused.

"Yes, with flowers. Like I'd even forget with you telling me all the time."

Oh, the things you were privy to that Junpei was not... "You'll thank me one day, Junpei. I'm doing this for your own good."

"Just like everything you do," he sarcastically retorted. You couldn't even be mad or peeved because it was true you consistently reminded him everything you thought you should, as you did with everyone else. They'd be annoyed for now, you were certain, but you had the burden of foreknowledge they lacked.

"Are you mad?" You didn't find yourself upset. No, you liked Junpei far too much from that. When he saw your calm expression, his face made a strange little flip and he immediately backtracked, voice sheepish and awkward.

"W-well, it's not—I'm not saying that—" When neither of you dignified him with a response, he sighed and hung his head. "...sorry. I didn't mean to get snippy."

"No, I've been pretty insistent too." Even if you had good intentions, your execution may not have been perfect. "I'll try not to from now on, but...I'd never bother you about these things just to bother you, you know?"

"Yeah." His voice was surprisingly soft and quiet, for Junpei. "I know." And it wasn't that you could appreciate the occasional seriousness from him, but the suddenness of it all did give you a bit pause. Junpei, however, seemed to take it a little less optimistically. "But anyways, funny you mention the transfer student thing. I hear we're getting a new one."

Some things he didn't need to know. "What a coincidence," you agreed, and curiously peered up at your boyfriend as you rounded the school gates. Yukari and Fuuka had left early for once, which left you and the boys to head off to school on your own. "I know we just talked about it, but what if he was really hot and really charming? The transfer student, I mean."

Junpei sighed, looking exasperated. "Seriously? Have you seen the way he looks at you? Forget about the transfer student. There's no way anyone's getting between the two of you."

You turned to look at Junpei with a wide mouth, pointing at yourself as if to make sure he meant you. Then you looked up at Minato with the same expression, hiding your elation behind your surprise. "Me? I'm that amazing?"

"Yes, yes, you are." Junpei's words were dismissive, and together you made your way into the classroom where you finally let go of Minato's arm.

"You are," confirmed the man himself, taking a seat in his chair. You waved to Yukari excitedly before sitting down as well, slouching over your desk, turning your head on its side to continue peering at Minato. You. Not Yukari, not Aigis, not Ryoji, but you yourself as the object of your dear protagonist's affections. You quickly turned your head back, smiling into your arm stupidly.

Ryoji Mochizuki took your breath away anyways, but not for the same reasons your boyfriend did. The moment he stepped in you understood completely, just seeing his demeanor and pleasant smile, that he was someone special. Someone integral to this story, protagonist be damned, and someone whose voice would haunt you forever. He spoke with such inflection, so solidly, so much like a real, living person despite the fact you knew he was anything but, you couldn't help but follow him with your eyes long after his introduction was complete. 

And Ryoji looked at Minato. Minato himself diligently took notes, his hands writing down everything perfectly despite his eyes being closed half the time. What sort of messed up love triangle was this...? One you understood would exist for as long as Ryoji did, and Ryoji would undoubtedly last forever in your memories. You understood, without a shadow of a doubt, that whatever love you felt for your boyfriend Ryoji felt just as strongly.

After class ended, Ryoji made his move, introducing himself at his desk. "It's nice to meet you," he breezily said, after his short introduction courtesy of Junpei. "Do you have any plans after school today?

Minato tilted his head towards you, as if asking you for permission. "Did you want to hang out?" you asked, in his stead. "We didn't have anything definitive planned, so you go have fun, Minato."

Ryoji turned to you, ever pleasant smile ever present. "I believe we haven't been introduced yet, but you're certainly someone worth getting to know."

If you were anyone else, you might've been charmed. Alas, you had someone you loved very much and memories that whispered to you the transfer student in front of you was every bit as beloved by fate as Minato was. But it was cruel misfortune to be beloved by something as fickle as fate, and though he had promised to meet again, you had gone by your whole life without seeing notice of that. "It's good to meet you too," you said, keeping your voice light. 

Meeting Ryoji felt like meeting your husband's concubines in one of those historical Asian dramas. That was not to say Minato would ever start practicing the feudal tradition of getting multiple wives, but Ryoji just had that vibe, and you couldn't exactly have him get rid of it. Nothing wrong with falling in love with someone you were connected at the soul with. 

"Well, if you're free to hang out..." Ryoji turned from Minato to you. "Would you like to come along as well?"

For the second time that day, you pointed at yourself. "Me?" 

"Yes, you. Who else?" He sounded so natural you nearly forgot why you were going to abstain from joining them.

"I'm not boorish enough to intrude on everything he does," you explained self-righteously. "Minato is his own person, as am I, and you were looking forward to hanging out with him anyways, right? But you guys have fun though!" And Ryoji, please, enjoy your time with him was left unsaid. 

"Then we'll go somewhere together next time." You were trying to make the weird budding love triangle as lowkey as possible, but Ryoji didn't seem to notice or appreciate your efforts.

"Next time, then. On a Friday." The latter half was a reference just for you, and you relished in having made such a reference despite having no audience. "Bye bye!"

You ended up walking home with Yukari and stopping by Chagall for a drink. Later that night, you reunited with Minato once more, excited to hear about his day. You bounded up the stairs to his room after eating dinner and let yourself in after he quietly mentioned the door was unlocked.

"How was your date?" you asked, without a hint of accusation. He raised his head up, tilting it towards your direction. The lamp by his desk glinted off his eyes and he turned back to his desk, writing something down diligently. 

"It was fine." 

You made your way over to his desk, peering curiously at his work. Such neat handwriting and so much effort into studying that he probably didn't even need, considering he had already learned these subjects and wouldn't be alive to properly utilize such knowledge in the future.

It was a chilling thought, realizing you lived among people who were all but dead in body, but you had months of experience pushing those feelings aside. "Why do you work so hard taking notes anyways? You can totally pass every class without trying."

He didn't look up. "Maybe I just want to beat you."

"You don't need to try for that too," you replied, and crossed your arms while letting your shoulders fall slack. "...you know, I'm just saying, but if you and Ryoji hit it off really good then for the greater good, I can totally—" He set his pencil down and turned to face you fully this time, and even if he didn't say it you already had a good idea of what he'd say, loyal, kind hearted person he was, though it did little to make you feel better for intruding into his life. "I mean, you know what I'm going to say too! And I think Ryoji is quite a catch and you guys obviously have that backstory together, so, if you really think about it..."

"Not everything's about Ryoji," he replied.

Well, now... "That was kind of mean." Poor Ryoji. All of the unfortunates with good taste, maybe you and him were the two vying over him the most, even if it was kind of a one-sided venture on his part. 

"Sorry." He didn't sound too sorry, but you knew for a fact Minato cared about everyone and listened to their problems, and there was no way he didn't feel some sort of close bond with him. The nature of that bond you'd leave up to his discretion.

"We should all hang out together then!" you suggested excitedly, deciding your only course of action now was to get to know someone whose presence you had been waiting for since very long ago. Avatar of Nyx in the flesh, none the wiser of his short but meaningful existence. Damn, it made you sad just thinking about it. "Does Ryoji like coffee? I think he should."

When he nodded, you nodded right back, patting his shoulder affectionately before stretching and getting ready to leave. "Then it's a date! I'm warning you, though, if you keep letting this go on I'm going to third-wheel him so hard..."

It was scary how accustomed and compliant you were getting to his rare looks of affection, which passed quickly but never failed to leave an extraordinary amount of impact. "Looking forward to it."

You did in fact invite Ryoji out the next Friday, and dragged Minato along with you to Chagall. With your kind of upbeat personality you found it easy to get along with his flirty mannerisms, although you could tell Ryoji didn't quite mean all his mildly suggestive words in the way one would expect. He put thought into his sweet words, but his smiles and joy were radiant and genuine around Minato. 

"I hear you two are dating?" He had a light laugh, eyes curved into gentle crescents. "I've been told many students are disappointed you've been taken out of the dating pool."

"We sure are," you replied, as Minato nodded. 

"That certainly is sweet. Ah, you're friends with Takeba and Iori, correct? And the beautiful Aigis as well, though I'm afraid she doesn't quite like me."

"Don't worry! Aigis is just super protective of Minato. She'll take a while to warm up to you, I'm sure." That, and you're a shadow, but you weren't quite looking to ruin everything with your inability to keep a secret. "You know, we should do more things together. Me, you, and Minato. Unless you'd rather just be with him?"

He probably did, but didn't find it in himself to admit the truth in front of the man himself. "Your company is a wonderful addition, of course. It's strange, but I feel at ease around the both of you. Like we've known each other for a very long time." His smile was gentle. "I wonder why."

It was Minato he had known, for a lifetime and a year, and whatever goodwill he felt towards you was a misattribution. But what else could you do other than smile and bear it? "Must be fate," you spoke, voice a light enough to scatter in the wind. "But enough of that—did you do the math homework?"

"Oh, we had homework?" he asked, just as Minato replied a resolute, "yes."

Now you knew which person to trust, and it sure as hell wasn't Ryoji. "Can we go over it later? I swear I know, but I keep forgetting." What better to worry about than homework and everything deceptively normal? Certainly you'd come out of this with newfound belief in the age old "ignorance is bliss".

"Of course." Math homework. What you wouldn't give for that to be the biggest thing on your mind, and not the impending deaths of the two who sat with you. 

You could put on a smile, occasionally participate in the conversation, and sit at the edge of their periphery and act like you belonged there. anything to prolong these days you wished would never end, as the end of the world loomed just up ahead. "But it's good to meet you, Ryoji."

"You as well." You didn't anticipate actually hanging out with him without Minato around, but for some reason he began seeking you out, and you thought you might as well reciprocate and start spending more time with him. Fridays was a group activity, but on the occasional weekday he'd show up at your desk and the two of you would head out for something to drink.

You brought it up one day, sipping hot chocolate through one of those quirky disposable cups that only the late 2000s could manufacture. "Why do you spend so much time with me, Ryoji?"

He lifted his own drink to his lips, taking his time to respond. "Is it hard to believe I enjoy your company?"

"Yes, when you greatly prefer that of my boyfriend's." You raised your cup, as if offering to toast his own. "We're proper love rivals now, don't you think?"

He smiled down at his drink with a touch of sorrow, and lightly touched the brim of his cup to yours, playing along with you. "I'm afraid I'm not much competition, however."

"Well, I am a terribly good catch." Though you didn't believe that at all, Ryoji seemed to take your words at face value so you quickly tried to redeem your words. "I mean, who knows how these types of things will turn out? For all I know, I'll accidentally have some expired yogurt and pass away peacefully before the month is up."

"And your boyfriend would be inconsolable," Ryoji replied. "Isn't that right?"

Too bad there was something Ryoji didn't know. "I'll be the one inconsolable in the end, unfortunately," you told him, and offered no explanation afterwards. For all he knew, you were certain he'd be breaking up with you or something. Better he fall out of love than fall out of living, you thought, but put no voice to such thoughts.

You hadn't quite realized how important Ryoji had become to you until a long time later, but of course, the dreaded Kyoto trip came before that. You had plenty of weeks to subtly hint for Minato and Ryoji to not test Mitsuru's wrath by "accidentally" coming into the hot springs at a late time, but your attempts were so vague you doubted he got them.

After a quick back and forth between Yukari and Junpei, you quickly gestured towards the souvenir shop. "I'll join you later! I want to get something for Ken really fast before I forget."

"...alright, then we'll see you there." Her expression softened a touch, changing from the harsh look she gave Junpei to a small smile. “Don't take too long, okay? Ms. Toriumi looks really mad."

"No problem!" You waved excitedly as she took Fuuka and Aigis back to their rooms, and you smiled pleasantly back at the boys. "Wanna come look at souvenirs with me?"

"I'm cool," Junpei replied, putting his hands in his pockets. 

"I don't mind taking a look," Ryoji offered. "I'm quite curious to see what there is as well."

"Great! Minato?" he nodded, so you dragged them over to the gift shop after promising Toriumi you'd be done soon. Every little knickknack looked fun, and you questioned if you had enough money to get one of everything. Alas, your priorities came first, so you grabbed a box of nama yatsuhashi for Ken and three keychains for the three of you standing around in the gift shop. And then a box of red bean nama yatsuhashi for yourself, because you hadn't had it before either. You opened it up as soon as you got out of the store, and offered some to Ryoji and Minato who each politely took one piece.

It was pretty good. Not as good as wagashi, but wagashi was expensive and you were an orphaned high school student without parents to foot the bill. Alas, some things were not meant for you to enjoy. You were a kind, generous person regardless of your financial situation, which was why you offered Junpei one of your nama yatsuhashi, only for him to turn you down.

"No thanks, you can get that anywhere." He squinted at the box in your hands. "You know, if you like them so much just ask Mitsuru-senpai to buy you a box every year. She'll just call it charity."

You stared right back at the nama yatsuhashi. "I want wagashi."

"Which one?" Ryoji picked out another one of your nama yatsuhashi.

"Which one? What?" You passed off your souvenirs to Minato while you made wild hand gestures at Ryoji. "There's multiple wagashi?"

"You're probably talking about namagashi. The pretty ones in boxes?" 

"Yes! The colorful ones with cool shapes." You made a face, taking back the souvenirs from Minato. "I thought those were called wagashi."

Ryoji shook his head. "Not at all. Wagashi is what we call the sweets in general."

"Looks like someone needs to study more Japanese culture," Junpei snickered playfully. "But you have pretty expensive taste. Nothing to Mitsuru-senpai obviously, but for your boyfriend on the other hand..."

You whirled around to face Minato with a serious expression. "Don't buy me any namagashi." He held his hands up innocently in response, and you turned back around with an expression of self satisfaction. Even if Junpei didn't mean it when he called you gold digger, you had far too much pride to take it. 

"Does it actually taste good? They look super pretty but I've never had one, so I wouldn't know."

"Does it look like I've had one?" Before you could continue the conversation, you saw Toriumi's stink eye, and decided it was promptly for you to dash. 

"I'll buy you a box once I'm making six figures!" You waved at the trio of The Boyz, taking care to wave especially hard in Minato's direction before you finally fled, bouncing up the stairs. You had to ask around before you found your room with the other girls, and you quickly packed away your souvenirs into your bag before turning in for the night.

Anyways, the hot springs on the last night. What was there to say? It was warm. And there was water. And you had also made plenty of suggestions for the boys to not come in at such a weird time and no one would get hurt, but since Fuuka and Yukari could hear something, they obviously hadn't. You'd properly confer with Minato later, but for now...

"Sure, let's look around," you suggested, and took initiative to go loop around the huge rock in the middle first, putting the towel nice and tight around yourself. Sure enough, once you reached the end and walked closer, you could see a gaggle of three nervous boys and one calm one. Now, what to do...you could expose them right then and there and let Mitsuru take care of them, but who were you to speak so much about fate and not accept that Junpei and Ryoji were horrible influences and would always be?

You drew a thumb across your neck with a dark expression, and relished in the sheer terror the three of them showed, before you stepped out of the alcove and back into the circular area of the hot spring. "No, I don't think there's anyone here." You'd have a nice chat with them about it tomorrow.

"Really? Well...I guess we've stayed here long enough." You spared one last glance at the rock, before stepping out of the hot springs with Fuuka's help. She had surprising grip strength, and for a moment she held onto your hand, before your curious expression forced her to withdraw her hand all of a sudden. 

"A-anyways...how did you like the hot springs?" She smiled pleasantly, and you followed her into the changing room. "I don't think you've been to one before, so this must be your first time."

"It's very fun! Basically one of those hotel hot tubs, but without the sweaty strangers sitting around." You nodded, agreeing with your comparison. Thankfully, people were required to bathe before getting into the hot springs, saving you from the worst part of hotel swimming pools and hot tubs.

Fuuka, on the other hand, didn't seem to share the same understanding as you did. "Is that so? Well, I'm glad you enjoyed it. I know not everyone's excited to be going to Kyoto, but I think it was worth it if you're happy."

"Really?" You finished tugging on the yukata, trying to remember which flap to put down first. "You're so nice, Fuuka. Junpei spent the whole day talking about how typical Kyoto is, not that I can blame him." Yukari looked over, having already put her yukata on, and quickly hurried over to help you put the left over the right, and tied the sash around your waist with deft fingers.

"Don't worry about Junpei. What matters is that you had fun. Right, Mitsuru?"

"Hm?" Mitsuru walked over, arms folded neatly. "Yes, that's right." The first name basis didn't slip past your notice, but you had technically snuck off and hung out with Ryoji and Minato the day before to crash their little date by the riverside, so there were some things you could let remain unsaid. 

What mattered was that you were happy. What a foreign concept, having people care this much for you. It was hard to swallow, in the same way it was realizing the Kyoto trip was coming to an end, as was the time Ryoji had left, the time Minato had left, the time you had left to pretend everything was just a game and Nyx was just a myth. So...no. You didn't think you had it in you to be happy.

The next day you arrived at where the boys stood early, arms crossed and head tilted menacingly. Junpei swallowed, and Ryoji had on that disarming smile. Akihiko looked properly guilty, and Minato had the same expression on as always. 

"So...any excuses? I didn't keep your little secret out of the goodness of my heart, you know." You tried to keep a straight face, but you just didn't have it in you to be scary like the other girls could be. With a sigh, you released that pent-up look, and only looked to the ground disappointedly. 

"Well, about that..." Akihiko spoke up first. "We're really sorry. I didn't realize we were in there that late, and that they switched around who could go in like that..."

"No, I don't doubt you. It was Junpei and Ryoji, right?"

"Huh? Well...yeah, I guess they brought it up. N-not that I'm ratting them out or anything!"

"You're totally ratting us out!" Junpei exclaimed. 

"Now now, I think it was already quite obvious from the beginning." Ryoji smiled insincerely. "My formal apologies. I do want to say, though, your boyfriend had no part in this. He was there to keep us from getting away with far more, I believe."

"Hey, if you have time to plead his case plead mine!" Junpei argued.

You let that disappointed expression change into a helpless smile, and sighed quietly through your nose. "You would, wouldn't you?" you directed towards Minato. "Always so selfless."

And if there was some other meaning in your words, well, they weren't for the others. Just another secret among the many you'd share with him for the rest of your lives.

Chapter Text

Fuuka was set to leave soon. True to etiquette, you didn't catch the Phantom Thieves following the two of you around again, and you instead spent the rest of your week with her at the popular tourist destinations. After a day of climbing Tokyo Skytree, you arrived back home, letting out a sigh as you sat down on the couch with Fuuka. 

"I haven't climbed so many stairs since high school," Fuuka admitted, with a wry smile. "But I guess it's good to get some exercise occasionally."

"Oh, for sure!" You grinned cheerfully at her, curling into the back of the couch. "Did we hit everywhere you wanted to go?"

"Definitely," she reassured you, looking just as cheerful despite how tired the two of you were. 

And despite your worries, your troubles, the certain thoughts that hadn't left the back of your mind since years ago, you couldn't help but feel deep affection for her in that moment. "I'm glad we could spend time together," you honestly told her. "We haven't had much time since high school, but that doesn't change a thing. I still love you very much."

"L-love," she stammered, and you nodded enthusiastically.

"Yes! I love you and Yukari and Mitsuru and—" you listed off a few more friends in quick succession, so they wouldn't feel left out in spirit. 

"Oh, that's what you mean..." She held a hand to her chest and sighed a touch dramatically, before returning back to her polite smile. "Everyone else feels the same way, I'm sure." But do I deserve it?

You pushed the thought aside. "I'm glad I have you guys. Really."

"Me too." You eventually went to sleep after, tidying up and preparing a mental plan for what to do tomorrow. You'd have to drop off Fuuka in the afternoon, so in the morning you could wander around the shops around the airport in search of last minute gifts. And then you'd head into work a little late, which Mitsuru had already approved of. 

You drifted off to sleep, wondering if an international Tokyo airport might have a box of nama yatsuhashi for you to devour on the way home. However, just as you were getting comfortable in the darkness of a dreamless sleep, your subconscious appeared to sabotage your mood. For the first time in weeks, you found yourself awakening in a mostly lucid dream.

Just your luck, finding yourself in Kifune Shrine at night. As if the flashback to Kyoto wasn't enough, you had to relive it in your dreams, and not in a fond, reminiscent way. Along the steps the small red lanterns lit up, illuminating the dark with flickering lights. You tilted your head up, trying to see the shrine at the very top. When you could see nothing you turned around and looked up and down, trying to get a good sense of your bearings.

There was a full moon hanging above your head, but it wasn't green like you had suspected. The moonlight helped relieve the small little lanterns of their duty, and you sighed, looking at the endless steps you'd have to climb. If that wasn't good enough, you knew without a doubt who'd be waiting for you at the top.

You could stand here all night, staring at the worn stone steps with a heavy heart. But you had this intrinsic habit of courting death. You could stand here all night, or you could make your way to the shrine up top and wait for your death at the hands of the one you loved most. Nothing more fitting, you reckoned, for someone like you. 

Step by step, you pulled yourself up the stairs, dreading the eventual end. You turned back every once in a while to check on your progress, and each time the lanterns behind you seemed to stretch out even longer. When you reached the very top you whirled around one last time, to see the procession of small glowing lights behind you, flickering in the wind. And then they extinguished, just as you saw someone step out of the shrine in your peripheral vision.

Unlike you, he was formally dressed in a dark blue kimono. You noticed the way the flaps of his robes were fastened, right over left. "I've been waiting," you quickly said, just to get the drop on him for once. He didn't speak, which was just as well. You could accept him pushing you off the stairs, and that would end the dream—you'd wake up, half in tears, and then life would continue. You'd drag yourself to work, do your best to care for the Phantom Thieves and make their lives as easy as you could manage, and dream of the dead once more.

But he didn't approach, and instead beckoned for you to come over.

It was a trap. He'd do something tricky and kill you in some sneaky way, you just knew it. And despite knowing so, you slowly approached him regardless, step by step, one foot in front of the other. "How are you going to blame me today?" you sarcastically asked, as you finally stood just a few feet away from him. 

"Must I?" he tilted his head, that fake in his body, and his eyes glinted with only the moonlight to illuminate them. "You already do enough of that on your own."

"Yes, well, I'm just telling you what you always do each time we meet." Despite putting on such a brave front, you viewed him cautiously, waiting for him to snap and finally come swinging at you with an axe handily tucked up the sleeve of his kimono.

"Do you not wonder whose fault that is?" He hid a cruel smile behind his sleeve. "Mine, just for existing, or yours? I don't force you to dream about me."

"Even if you're a representation of my subconscious, you could stand to be a little more like the real thing." Fake Minato only shook his head, that smile on his face unchanging. 

"And if I am the real thing?" 

"Then I'm sorry." You dipped your head in a brief apology, but you raised your head just as fast. "But you're not him, are you?"

He took a step backwards, which was funny, because normally you were the one backing away. And then he set his hand back at his side, and his expression morphed into a small, sad smile. You found yourself pausing, trying to read into his expression. "Who's to say I'm not?" 

"You're not," you insisted, but you found yourself stepping closer regardless. "He's—he's dead."

"Dead, or just dreaming?" He took another step back, but unlike you he wasn't doing so to run. His movements were languid and casual, even as his back approached the offertory box and the dark entrance inside the shrine behind it. 

And the truth was, beyond all else, you knew better. You really did. "He was the kindest person I knew," you slowly began. "No, he'd just tell me to move on, even though I don't deserve it. And you're a pale imitation of that."

Fake Minato dropped his demure act, laughing coldly as he leaned against the offertory box, arms crossed neatly. "You're right, I'm not him. But I don't have to be. Will you listen to your own words? You don't even believe it yourself." His eyes curved in harsh amusement. "In what world would he forgive you? And in what world would you forgive yourself?"

"What do you even want?" you exclaimed, though he hardly reacted to the volume of your voice. In response, Fake Minato turned around and vaulted over the offertory box, standing in the thin strip of light between the box and the darkness of the shrine.

"I want you to never forget what you're feeling now." He titled his head, movements eerily robotic. "If I can't be happy, after all, why should you be?"

He stepped back and despite all your brave words about him not being the real thing, maybe it wasn't truly a lucid dream because you couldn't control the way you lurched forwards, desperate to grab ahold of him. He stepped backwards into the darkness as you desperately scrambled over yourself, trying to reach for his arm and coming up short. You climbed over the offertory box, waiting to hear your feet hit solid wood, only to fall flailing into the darkness. 

You fell, and fell, and when you knew the ground was approaching you jolted awake with a gasp, adrenaline still forcing your heart to beat rapidly in your chest. It wasn't sad, this time, and you knew very well there was nothing to cry over—but the exhaustion from being jolted awake so early in the morning, so late at night, pushed you into a quiet sob, buried in your hands. 

You were so tired. But you couldn't lay down and sleep yet, because god forbid you get another one of those dreams and wake up again. You slowly crawled out of bed, quietly making your way to the kitchen for a drink of water for fear of waking Fuuka up. At the very least, you had to hold on until Fuuka left, and then bottle everything up and hold on, because there was nothing else you could do but bear this seething mass of self-hatred in your heart and let it consume you whole. There were some things that you, as an adult, had to put up with, and this was something momentous enough for the ages.

Your hand moved to wipe away a stray tear from your breakdown just as Fuuka stepped into the kitchen, looking concerned. You froze as she slowly approached. "Hey," she quietly began, as if consoling a child. You hadn't heard that tone since the weeks after the funeral, in all its soothing, empathetic rhythm. "Are you okay?"

"Oh, sorry." You quickly scrubbed the wetness from your eyes. "I didn't mean to wake you up."

"It's fine." But it wasn't fine, considering that she still had to get up tomorrow morning and spending her precious time trying to cheer you up. It wasn't fine because Fuuka was kind, had always been, and you were a waste of that kindness because you knew, you knew for certain you could never bring yourself to accept it. "Do you...do you want to talk about it?"

She continued to step forward slowly, and gently stood in front of you at last, looking far too concerned for your sake. "It's really nothing," you replied, smiling only in the way your adult self could, lying straight to her face. 

"Are you sure?" She didn't look upset or disgruntled, only gentle. She was far too good to you. 

"I'm sure," you replied. "I just...had a dream about him again. That's all."

Fuuka, who well understood what sort of connection you had with him, could only accept that answer. "Just...just let me know if you ever want to talk, okay?" She hesitated for a moment, but returned her pleading look in full force. "All of us care about you, and even if it's not the same, we all miss him too. So...please, rely on us more."

Oh no. No, they were likely just as sad over Minato's sacrifice, and you understood that well, so why were they deferring so to you? Perhaps it was the fact that they were already moving on, but you would never. Such worry for you was unfounded, such kindness coming from them was...sweet, but ultimately meaningless. "Thank you," you replied, a little breathless as you tried to keep your thoughts from showing on your expression. "I'll—I'll keep that in mind, but we should sleep now. And I'm sorry you had to see this."

"Don't be!" she quickly said, before yawning, and then looking embarrassed. "We're all your friends, and we want to help you. It's natural."

"I'm lucky to have you guys," you replied, before you ushered her away from the kitchen. "Now let's get some sleep."

It was tremendously lucky you didn't have any dreams later that night. In the morning, Fuuka looked worried until you reassured her it was just one of those dreams where you hung out at school together, and it was the nostalgia that made you tear up. You were doing better for sure, nothing serious.

"Thanks for having me over," she said, once it was her turn to board the train. "I only wish we could spend more time together...that is, if you have the time."

"I'll always have time for you," you reassured her, before you hugged goodbye and waved at her from the window of the train until she was too far in the distance to see. 

Afterwards, you made your way back to work and clocked in a good couple hours before you left on time. Curiously enough, your phone began lighting up with a call from Akira. Curiously, you stopped to pick up the call, seeing as it was not only rare to get a call from one of the Phantom Thieves, but even rarer that the silent protagonist would be the one calling.

"What's up?" you asked, once you accepted the call.

"Are you busy on the eighteenth?" You left the call screen for a moment to check your schedule, happy to see it come up blank.

"Nope! Did you want to do something then?"

"We're going to the fireworks festival. Would you like to come too?"

Fireworks festival? Now that you thought about it, that probably did happen in the game proper. And it made sense he was inviting you, because it was a Phantom Thief thing, and since you were now a Phantom Thief it only made sense you'd be included. They were always so considerate of you. "Sure thing," you replied, stretching your legs out a little. "When and where should we meet? I'll chaperone you guys."

"You should enjoy yourself too." You could almost see his uncharacteristically serious expression, contrasted with the earnestness of his voice. "I'll text you the details."

It was a little strange, seeing the people around you being so sweet. "I'll see you there," you assured him, before you hung up and waited for his text to send. 

As you were making your way home, you made the mistake of letting everyone know in the group chat. Mitsuru, seeing your message, immediately announced she was sending over a yukata because the old one she got for you in high school probably didn't fit anymore. Despite your protests, she was firm in letting you know she had the money to spare, and you asked so little of her it made her feel like this was necessary.

The yukata Mitsuru picked out herself arrived the next day, and you unboxed a pretty blue thing with butterflies outlined in gold, simple enough to not seem ostentatious. If it were up to you, you'd have just gone in shorts and a t-shirt, but seeing how expensive the whole thing must've been, you froze up.

"Isn't it a little much?" you asked Yukari through your phone call as you tried it on, marveling at how Mitsuru somehow picked out the perfect measurements. "I feel so bad having Mitsuru keep giving me days off and such a high salary, not to mention this."

"Isn't that normal?" Yukari asked. "We're friends. Although if you really want to repay her, just send us a picture of you having fun. I bet you look great in whatever Mitsuru's picked out."

"You're so nice, Yukari. You should go watch some fireworks with Mitsuru too, now that we're on the subject!" You did a small twirl in front of the mirror, before you stared at the obi that sat on your bed. Before Yukari had always tied it for you, but you couldn't count on her dragging herself back to Tokyo just to help you get dressed. 

"...do you think she's too busy?"

If only Yukari knew. "Yukari, she's never too busy for you. Trust me, the moment you bring it up with her she'll clear her schedule just for you."

She laughed, a beautiful sound that made you feel all warm inside. "Really? Then I'll have to bring it up with her later. You have fun too! Don't forget to send us that picture."

"Alright, I will." You said your goodbyes before hanging up, and you flopped onto your bed, heading on Youtube to go look for an easy tutorial on tying your obi. Mitsuru seemed to have greatly overestimated your skills, not getting you one of the pre-tied obi that often popped up these days.

On the day of the fireworks festival, true to your words, you donned the damned thing and tied the ugliest looking knot in history. Your hubris, however, prompted you to try again, despite knowing you wouldn't get any better results. You didn't want to give up and call in your neighbor or something. You really didn't want to show up with your arms tangled up in the sash either. 

Luckily, you received a call from Makoto you picked up instantly. "I'm just checking to see how it's going for you," she said. "Takamaki and I already put on our yukata. Are you planning on wearing one?"

"Oh, I am. I'm kinda, um, stuck though. Haha."

There was a silence over the phone. "Do you need our help?"

"...yes," you admitted. 

"We'll be there!" called Ann's voice, and then they hung up, no doubt rushing to help you out of a bind. You ended up scrolling through your phone, waiting for their arrival as you lay on the floor. It didn't take too long, however, for the doorbell to ring and you quickly got to your feet, only to trip on the hem on the yukata as you scrambled for the door. 

Makoto and Ann stepped in, seeing your messed up yukata and obi. You could tell they were trying to be polite, only to hold back winces. "Is this your first time?" Makoto asked, putting her arms on your shoulders and then straightening out the yukata flaps.

"I used to wear them in high school, but I had my friends help me." You laughed sheepishly as Makoto turned you around to swiftly tie a pretty bow after smoothing out the fabric of the obi. "Thank you so much."

"Of course!" Ann swiftly responded. "But we should probably get going before the others get mad at us."

The walk over was a nice one, where you chatted with Makoto and Ann casually, who both commented on your expensive yukata. You did a few obligatory twirls along the way, showing off Mitsuru's endless wealth and fat wallet. Eventually, you arrived at the meeting place, and waved politely at the three boys waiting. 

If it were Junpei, he'd be falling over himself trying to describe Yukari and Fuuka, but as it stood only Ryuji was left to be the typical Chariot arcana, and he was more respectful than Junpei. "You guys look good!" he said, as Akira and Yusuke nodded in agreement. 

The area for viewing fireworks was already crowded by the time you all got there, but that didn't stop you from enjoying what little you could see of them from behind the buildings that blocked them. And they were pretty for the few minutes the sky stayed clear, before the rain started coming down in sheets. You didn't remember this, but then again, memory was often the first to go in old age. Or was it something else? You couldn't quite remember.

You took shelter under a convenience store, wringing out your yukata with Ann. Hopefully Mitsuru wouldn't hold it against you. As you gently twisted the fabric between your hands, you noticed out the corner of your eye a young lady entering a limousine. Oh god, Haru. 

"Hey, you good?" Ann's voice snapped you back out of your daze, and you grinned as if nothing had happened. "We should probably head back now."

Oh, there was something else you remembered having promised Yukari. "Actually, can we all take a picture together?"

"Sure thing, but why?" Temporarily ignoring Ryuji, you got out your phone and looked around for someone passing by. 

"I promised my friend I'd send a picture of me having fun," you casually replied, before stopping some random couple. "Can you take a picture of us?"

They agreed, and you ushered the group of second years close to you, flashing two V signs and a perfect smile. You quickly took your phone back once they were done, and took a look at the picture. 

To anyone seeing this, you looked perfectly happy. And maybe you had been in the split second taking the picture, but it was impressive you could still pull off an expression like this. You didn't deserve to be as happy as you looked for sure, but that was a problem to address another day. 

You sent the photo, commenting on how it had suddenly rained. That night, you slept dreamlessly, but worried nonetheless. 

And then before you knew it, Futaba's palace had come along. Well, the prelude to it, essentially. You attended the Phantom Thief meetings about Medjed half-heartedly, trying to recall what had happened around this time. It was a shame you hadn't written everything around while it was still fresh in your memory, but there wasn't much you could do about it.

During another meeting where Futaba came up, you decided to reveal your cards a little earlier than you normally would.

"Sakura Futaba is Sojiro's adopted daughter," you said, acting casual. "We've met a couple of times. I have her number, if you want."

"You know her? For reals?" Ryuji expressed his surprise in the only way he knew how, loudly. "Seriously? You know everyone!"

"Well, I wouldn't say everyone..." You did know plenty of relevant people because you had sought them out in the first place, but that wasn't something you'd tell him. "Anyways, I can contact her if you'd like."

Ann shook her head slowly. "What we needed most was to know if she was related or not, but now... I guess we have to figure out why Alibaba wants her heart stolen, and if she even has a palace in the first place."

Akira nodded. "Keep it on hold for now."

"Gotcha." You nodded very seriously, showing you understood. 

Your time came again, once the Phantom Thieves decided to straight up ask Futaba for her keyword right outside her room. This time, you thought it fair for you to take the initiative, having already known her prior to the Phantom Thieves.

"Futaba?" You stood close to the door, resting a hand on its cold, wooden surface. "Sorry to intrude like this. Would you prefer I call you Futaba or Alibaba?"

Akira's phone received a text, so you peered over his shoulder to check it out. Sure enough, Alibaba herself popped up as the contact. Why are you here?

"Well, I am part of the Phantom Thieves now. I hope you're not too disappointed. Oh, but if you mean why we as a group are here, that's because in order to steal your heart we need to ask you some very important questions." She replied again, and Akira generously tilted his phone to the side for you to see. 

Is that necessary? 

It was a shame you couldn't remember who had handled this in the original, or what they even said. Regardless, you had to do your best now, lest you lead to the early demise of the Phantom Thieves. "Yes, there are things we have to know about you before we can even steal your heart. I know I'm probably in no position to be asking this of you, but could you answer some questions? I'll have Akira ask them."

OK.

"Thank you." You smiled in relief, hidden from the rest of the Phantom Thieves while your back was turned to them. You then backed off, waiting for Akira to do his job, for the rest of you to enter her palace, and for the rest of your days to begin blurring together again. 

The sweltering heat of the desert felt almost like home to you. It wasn't so much the heat, really, as much as the vast emptiness of the sand dunes and the loneliness of the pyramid in the distance, only visible once you squinted real hard out the window of Morgana's bus form. Futaba had called her home a tomb, the place where she would die, and you found could wholeheartedly emphasize with such a thought. 

When you stood at the stairs leading up into her palace, you knew without a doubt that just as Futaba would rise out of her tomb and her current mindset, you could only go down. Indeed, it was from that night onwards that your dreams took a turn for the worst, and every night you'd wake up in a cold sweat.

Chapter Text

The world felt like it would end in 2016, to which it did not—Americans held that sentiment the most. And the world was theorized to end in 2012, to which it did not, seeing as there was still 2016 and 2020 to follow. Now the world was ending in the final stretch of 2009, to which it genuinely was. Nothing to debate there, if the general disarray of Tatsumi Port Island and the doomsday cult was anything to go by.

Before the turn into January and a horrible beginning of the year, there was always something preceding it. You didn't want to think of it, but it was about time you confronted the events.

Before the end of the November and beginning of December, Ryoji invited you out one last time. "Wouldn't you rather be with Minato?" you asked, and he only laughed and shook his head ever so slightly.

"I wouldn't deprive myself of your company just to be with him." You thought about saying you'd do just that to him if given the opportunity, but the more you thought about it the more you realized it wasn't true. That was a thought sweet at first, but filled your heart with heavy pangs once you realized that regardless of how you felt, November was coming to an end. As were Ryoji, Nyx, and Minato in that very order.

"...so where did you want to go?" you asked, ignoring the heavy prickling in your chest. You would give him normalcy, hiding away the fact that he'd be gone moments into the next month. That was all you could give him, the illusion of forever hiding behind these casual school days.

He smiled in that sweet way he always did, even if you weren't the one he was in love with. Almost like he cared for you just the same, only platonically, and wouldn't that be a great ironic shock, with you always falling in with the dead ones. "How about...by the bay? I heard you guys went to Yakushima earlier in the year. It's a shame we don't have any beaches like theirs to visit."

"The bay is fine, if you're not worried about getting blown away in the wind." There was another thought that came to mind, and slowly, you spoke the words aloud. "Why don't we...go visit the beach now? There's bound to one close enough through the station. And as long as we make it back sometime in the morning, it should be fine."

He adjusted the scarf around his neck casually, before beginning to walk. In the opposite direction of Iwatodai station, you wanted to add. "Don't worry, we'll have all the time in the world before graduation."

And you were ashamed to admit you had stared at his back with a horrified look on your face and sinking feeling in your gut, before he turned back with a confused look. "Is something wrong?"

You wiped the look from your face immediately, looking away. "Nothing! Let's get to walking before it gets dark." 

If there was something you hated more than the inevitability of death and the mechanisms of fate, it was talking in hypotheticals you knew would never come to pass. So close to December, and you hadn't gone to the beach with him yet. The only obvious conclusion was you never would. 

"Ryoji," you called, as the two of you wandered down the street and closer to the salty sea of the bay, "I was wondering...is there anything you want to do before the new year?"

"Hm? Like a bucket list?" He tilted his head a little, tapping a finger to the corner of his lips. "I'm not sure. Besides, if there's anything important I can just add it to my new year's resolution."

"Nothing at all?" It was far from a way of atonement for you, but if you could lessen the guilt in your heart even just a little, if you could look at the date and feel anything but dread, that was enough to hope for. "There's gotta be something."

There was a strong gust of wind at that point, and you squinted against it as Ryoji held onto his scarf, its tail flapping behind him. "Well, if you insist there is...why don't you buy me a drink before we head back?"

He asked for so little. So, so little. If he wanted you to hand over your life savings you would've, and if he asked you to go grab him a pet rat from the sewers you would've come back with five. "Sure. What do you want?"

"Just a canned latte is fine." You dug around in your bag for a wallet, as Ryoji stood by the rails to the bay and peered across the sea with a soft look in his eyes, as if he saw something on the horizon you couldn't. As you counted out your change, praying you had enough for two drinks, he turned back curiously. "By the way, what are your plans after graduation?"

"We still have senior year before that," you murmured in response, finally acknowledging you had enough spare change for two drinks. "Something up?"

"Nothing wrong. I just—" he hesitated. "I'm not sure, actually. I just felt like asking."

You angled your head in the direction of a nearby vending machine, and got him to come along with you so you could continue the conversation. "Well...I'll go to college! And then pick whatever makes a good amount of money, I think. I've...never really had anything I specifically wanted to pursue, I don't think." It was funny how your previous life, the very first one, you couldn't remember as clearly now. Even if you had a career in mind, it was likely one your parents picked out for you. But now that you had none, you didn't have anything you'd think of studying.

"Personally, I think you'll succeed at whatever you decide to do." He tapped on one of the buttons of the vending machine and you dutifully put in the coins afterwards and waited for the drink to drop before you scoured the signage for one you'd like. "You're quite impressive."

You snatched up your drink, popping it open instantly before taking a sip to see if it tasted weird. "That's nice of you to say, Ryoji. What do you think, should I go into brain surgery and pop some bad boys open?"

"Hey, if you can manage it, go right ahead." You had the feeling Ryoji was an enabler of the worst kind. If you decided to go into, god forbid, Egyptology and write those children's books on pyramids to pay the bills, he'd probably call it an interesting idea and let you write that on your career form. 

What you wouldn't give to get into Egyptology, if it meant Ryoji would be there in the future to laugh at your poor wages. What you wouldn't give if Minato were there to laugh behind the back of his hand and make it all feel worth it, just for that little moment. Pyramid schemes. You'd have to learn the art of pyramid schemes. 

"I'll probably think of something just in time next year," you admitted. "Once I make it big as a beekeeper you'll have to visit me at the beehives. I'll build myself a huge one and live with the bees."

"Wouldn't miss it for the world." Ironically, he would, just to save the world. Out of his control, but still true nonetheless. 

You looked at the sky, and for a moment forgot you didn't have a smartphone to check the time with. It was true you could forget about your previous life, but not the comforts that came with it. "You know what else we shouldn't miss? Dinner. I don't know about you but I'm starving."

"I'll see you sometime then," he replied, burying his face into his scarf. 

"Let's do this again. Bye!" You waved cheerfully as you always did and ran off first, unwilling to let him see your expression. This wasn't your secret to give away nor your mood to ruin, and you just had to hold on longer. You'd have to hold on, and bottle everything up until—until what?

Until when? You went through your days telling yourself that you'd bear with it until you didn't, but you had no idea when that was, or if it'd ever happen. It wasn't a healthy habit. You knew it wasn't, to keep telling yourself it'd all be magically over someday, but...

"...you okay?" Ken was hovering beside you, looking fairly distraught. "You've been standing out here for a while..."

Yikes, how low could you sink, to the point where you had to get the elementary schooler looking after you? "I'm fine," you answered him, tilting your head towards the door to the dorm. "Just thinking about something. Should we head in?"

"Alright." Ken followed you in, and you waved goodbye to him at the staircase before you absconded the steps and threw yourself into your room and on the bed. Forget dinner—you probably couldn't work up the appetite for it anyways. There was no way you could sit by and enjoy yourself knowing someone was going to die, in a loose sense of the word, in a matter of days. And what after Ryoji would only hurt far more, with the end of the world and the sacrifice entailed to save it. 

For a couple minutes you lay on your stomach, staring at your empty desk with blank eyes. There was a stack of notebooks and textbooks you had pushed off to the side, and piled up in the middle of your desk was a jumble of photographs. For a moment, it slipped your mind why, before you quickly remembered and jumped to your feet, stumbling across the room to snatch up the photographs.

You featured in most of them, wearing the same smile and flashing the same peace sign. There was at least one with each member of SEES, even Shinjiro-senpai, bless his soul, who'd wake up at some point. You didn't take a bullet for him just so he could stay asleep forever. 

You flipped through the pictures, smiling a little recalling the memory behind each. Fishing money out of the fountain at Paulownia, building sand castles at Yakushima, drinking tea in Kyoto. The last one in particular had been taken on the train ride back to Tatsumi Port Island just days prior. At the time, you had been all tuckered out and dropped asleep onto Minato's shoulder without a second thought. Junpei, according to Fuuka, had snatched your camera and taken an opportunistic photo, claiming it'd be one for the family album a decade or so down the line. 

It was a nice photograph, despite the slight blur and the blur of Yukari's hand in the corner. Every worry, every concern had been wiped off your face as you slumbered on, and Minato had been reading a book, in an angle that somehow brought out the best of his face. 

"He should go into modeling," you offhandedly commented, squinting down at the picture in your hands. How you wished Junpei's words were true, that this would go into a family album and you'd invite people over and sit them down with a huge book of pictures not just from high school, but from your adult lives.

You didn't want to think about it. You'd regret avoiding the topic, but it wasn't as if you had any better coping mechanisms for a situation you were wholly unfamiliar with. There was so much you didn't know—you hadn't come over to this world in the peak of your adulthood, but rather at the most stressful point in your high school life. You had no life experience, no prior heartbreak to compare this to, but you had a feeling that this, this year that would be lost to history, this boyfriend of yours would be your downfall. Your destiny, your doom, the one who had singlehanded raised you from the depths of hell only to plunge you into Tartarus. 

The photograph in your hand trembled in your grip, but you took the utmost care in handling it, as if it were his hand and not a shallow impression of his face. 

To yourself, you declared: I will never, ever forget you, even if it kills me. And then you sat down at your desk and finally took out the final project you had been working on the past week.

There wasn't too much left to do. A few adjustments here and there, flipping through to make sure everything was set in place and unlikely to come off. Your final touch was that photograph you had been holding, and you firmly attached it to the final page, before you shut the book and leaned back in your seat, sighing.

There was a knock on the door and you half-heartedly pushed your little project aside, grabbing the nearest book you could find before opening up to your bookmark. "The door's open, come in." You spared no glance at the person, instead trying in vain to read the kanji half-heartedly. 

The footsteps were light, graceful, and they had a certain rhythmic cadence to them. They stopped beside you, and you could hear the crinkling of paper before someone held up a burger to your mouth. You took a bite and nodded approvingly. "Nice, there's pickles."

Minato set the rest of your Wild Duck Burger combo meal on your desk and passed you the burger you had oh-so-graciously taken a huge bite out of. You finally set down the book you couldn't read and finished your meal in three quick bites, daintily wiping your mouth with a napkin as if you hadn't set a new speed eating record. "I'll buy you dinner too! Let's get sushi tomorrow."

He nodded, amiable as ever, and you plucked a fry from out of the box to quickly devour before you noticed his eyes landing on your little project. It was about time you came clean about it anyways, so you only smiled helplessly before picking up the scrapbook, smoothing a hand over its cover.

"I made everyone one of these, but I wasn't planning on giving it out until I finished this one." You slowly handed over the book, which he gingerly took out of your hands as if you had passed him the original copy of the Illiad or something to that effect. "Think of it as my max social link item."

It was apparent to anyone with at least one eye the scrapbook you had passed to him you had put far more effort into than the rest sitting in a stack at the edge of your desk. Those you had picked photos you liked of the intended recipient and added a few comments underneath some of the nice ones. The one you passed onto Minato had been the culmination of every regret you knew you'd carry in the future, when he wasn't there to persuade you otherwise. But you very well couldn't pass it on to him, the guilt which made itself known as the third participant in your relationship, so you buried those regrets as deep as you could. You could give Ryoji the semblance of normal, and you could give that to Minato as well.

He held the scrapbook in his hands, and slowly turned the page. You watched him skim through the contents, flipping through the pages delicately. You were doing that a lot recently, watching him directly or through the corner of your eye. He didn't seem to mind the attention, though he hardly did. Not for the first time, you wondered what he was like his first time around. And you wondered if you were there as well, but such thoughts led to nothing.

When he reached the final page, a small smile crossed his face. If you had your camera at the ready, you would snapped a picture to remember forever. As it stood, you simply smiled back and burned the image into your mind. I love him. I love him, more than anything. 

"Thank you," he said, and he meant it. You exchanged a long look with him, before you stood up and closed his fingers around the edges of the scrapbook. 

"Anything," you quietly replied, "for you. I would do anything for you."

He did not answer for the longest time.

But that was another story. You had one more thing to remember.

Everyone knew about Ryoji on the bridge. The reveal, the aftermath, the cult. Ryoji was a shadow that had been forcibly sealed in Minato since the accident that rendered him an orphan, and now the fate of the world thereof rested on his shoulders. A responsibility thrust upon the shoulders of someone who would never graduate from his second year of high school. 

That day on the bridge, Ryoji had said his due words, explained his due explanation, and then turned to you with a look not too different from how Minato used to see you—that is, with this sort of intrigue that near bordered confusion. But just like Minato, that expression quickly changed to fondness. Why, you couldn't quite say.

"It's nice to meet you, once again," he announced, with a smile and a flourish despite the tense situation. You could understand his implication well enough: it's nice to meet you as the me with all my memories.

So he knew. Did he? Did he share that same connection you and Minato had, the same foreknowledge and dread resting in the pit of your stomach, awaiting a death none of you wanted? He had to have been, with that sad, sad gaze he cast over and over again at Minato, and you wanted to sit down and cry, but that was neither here nor there. No, your job was to stand and pretend you didn't know a thing. 

"Ryoji, I..." I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I wish I could've let you live that dream-like life forever, with no broken heart nor end of the world to show for it.

"There's nothing you need to be sorry for." Ryoji wore kindness like a second skin, and despite knowing this was the avatar of Nyx, the one who would unwillingly usher in the Fall, you could feel nothing but affection for him, temporarily mangled from grief. 

When he left, giving the rest of SEES a month to ponder through perhaps the hardest decision they would ever make, you approached Minato that night with a hair dryer and a question.

There was always an unspoken line you never crossed with him. Implications were fine, direct references were not. For the purposes of tonight, you toed the line just a little. "Do you think Ryoji remembers?"

He took the hair dryer from you as you plugged in the cord, before switching it on with a practiced hand. "Do you want him to?"

There he was, always turning the question to you. Not that you didn't find it charming of him, as you did with everything. "I don't know. On one hand, it might be easier to move on not knowing." What would it be like, you let yourself wonder, if you didn't know a thing? "But sometimes, that knowledge can move you to do things you wouldn't normally do." If you knew, would you have pursued Minato? He was kind, too kind, and if he felt anything for anyone in this life he would never say a word of it, knowing his own fate. 

"He'll be fine," Minato reassured you, and you closed your eyes as the warmth of the hair dryer seeped into your scalp. These words you would cling onto as the end of December neared. Everyone else had become rather lethargic, and although you still dragged them out to play, they'd only see your smile and sigh, asking how you could still be so optimistic.

And could you even tell them the truth? I've known this for longer than you all have. How can I be happy? To Junpei, you could only offer more words of encouragement, a small hug for Yukari as she choked back her words, to Fuuka a squeeze of her hand as she made the same attempt as you had to smile.

The day Ryoji came back, you already knew what decision would be made. They ascended the staircase to his room together, leaving you with the rest of SEES in tense silence. You weren't worried about Minato's choice, but rather what would come next. Just one month. Just one month left, for you and him, and mere minutes for Ryoji. How could you bear to part with them?

Fuuka must've mistaken your anguish for fear of the decision, because despite her own worries, she still took your hands in hers and clasped them tightly. "I'm sure... I'm sure he'll make the best decision," she tried to reassure you. "He always does."

"He always does," you echoed, and let your head dip. He always made the best decisions for the world, not himself. "I guess we just have to wait for it, don't we?"

He came down moments later, and you bounced to your feet to run to the two. You could see Minato holding in his hands the same glow ring Ryoji bought for himself at Yakushima. 

The decision, he announced to everyone else, hushing the room for one long moment. You stood in the middle, trying to make sense of it all, desperately trying to collect yourself in the moment. But there were the muted, quiet conversations to the side, the quiet, resigned look in Minato's eyes that had never once been afraid, not even now, and the swish of Ryoji's scarf as he turned to leave.

"Wait!" you chased him out the door and into the night, even though he had said just earlier he'd disappear soon, for fear of letting the others see his other form. "Ryoji, wait!"

He turned back, with maturity shining in his face in a way you had never seen from him before. "What is it?"

You could at least admit you choked up then. You didn't want to lose him, one of the few people who understood the strange, precarious position you were in, nor did you want to lose such a close friend. And that part of you, that darker part of you, knew that the moment Ryoji slipped away so would begin the final month before Minato ceased to be yours. Were you really sad over Ryoji, if for a moment the only person filling your mind was Minato?

Selfish. So, so selfish. But this could wait for a better day.

Reaching out, you could only grab his sleeve in a panic. "Don't go," you begged him. "I don't care what you look like, even if you become—if you become—" The words couldn't quite leave your mouth, and Ryoji turned to face you fully with a sympathetic expression.

"I'm afraid there's nothing I can do," he admitted. "And I'd rather you remember me as I am now, rather than what I'll eventually become. With Minato's choice, you'll have to see regardless, but..." He sighed, sweet and heavy. "Just for a month longer, I want you to think of me as...me."

"I always will," you told him, firm and resolute. "So please...I don't want to lose you too." Akinari hung in the back of your mind for a long moment. 

"I'm sorry." He didn't sound terribly sad, only light. When you looked up at him, only a sad smile was set alight on his eyes and cheeks, and you wished he were making any expression but. 

"How...how am I supposed to move on?" Were this Minato, you would no doubt hide your feelings behind a sweet expression, but this was only the beginning of the end, and you didn't have the time to practice your smile in the few minutes before the new year. "I don't know..."

"You'll figure it out." He didn't sound awfully concerned, even as you clutched onto his sleeve desperately, even as the time to his departure approached. "I hope you do. We both hope you do."

You were keenly aware of the time trickling away, past your fingers, past your grasp. "Promise me. Promise me we'll meet again."

This, he readily agreed to. "We will," he assured you. You didn't know if this was any better than Minato's gentle refusal to promise you something he couldn't accomplish. "For now, you should go back inside before you catch a cold."

With a gentle touched, he pulled your fingers off his sleeve. He then unraveled the scarf from his shoulders, and gently draped it around your neck, before he took the end and plastered it over your eyes. "Count to ten for me, would you?"

And despite yourself, you did as he asked, holding the scarf to your eyes and counting. You could hear his footsteps fade, each step marking another little hole in your heart, before you hit ten and all was silent. 

New Years. You let the end of his scarf drop, and wiped the tears from your eyes. And then you turned around and entered the warm dormitory building, letting the tension in your chest melt, melt away until all that was left was a hole you couldn't fill.

Chapter Text

If anyone noticed the increasing dark circles under your eyes, they didn't say anything. All for the better, since you didn't have a good excuse prepared. These days, you spent your waking hours in a daze. Your dreams you often forgot in the morning, but not without the sense of dread nestled deep in your stomach, forcing you to crawl to the bathroom and retch into the toilet on occasion. 

Your only days of reprieve were Fridays, where Ryoji would quietly stay by your side with a sad expression. But even Ryoji's efforts in sparing you from the guilt plaguing your dreams fell all too short in comparison to the six other days he had no control over. You woke, trudged through your day, and went to sleep praying for a night without dreams. Such a prayer was never answered.

Even Futaba's palace didn't give you a break. It was like looking down at a younger, more reclusive version of yourself whenever you learned a little more about her with the rest of the Phantom Thieves. The key difference, however—Futaba could forgive herself and come to understand she had no hand in the death of her mother, but there was no such pardon left in store for you. You stood by and watched someone you claimed to be the love of your life die, safe in your knowledge that only a wild card could become the seal for Nyx.

And unlike Futaba, no one would come save you. Scratch that, you wouldn't let anyone. This burden was yours alone, atonement for a crime long past. The people around you were kind and patient people, who wouldn't hesitate to lend a hand because that was in their nature, just as it was yours to gently push away those hands.

You stumbled a little on your feet, vertigo spiking through your skull for a moment. Your little fumble didn't escape the hawkish eyes of Akira, who stopped and moved to your side, although he didn't quite offer a hand yet. It was nothing big—really common, on the contrary, considering your average sleep per week was about a busy college student's daily average. "Do you need a break?" asked the high schooler. It was embarrassing, being less put together than a teenager whose idea of an itinerary was jotting something down on a sticky note and losing it right after.

"I'm fine," you replied, pushing your perfect expression back onto your face. "Never better. I was just trying to fit together Futaba's cognitive world with potential schemas she has." Though Akira didn't react, the rest of the Phantom Thieves fell into awkward silence. "Oh, I mean I'm trying to figure out what her cognition is based on her palace."

"We can take a break in the safe room up ahead," he suggested, and before you could protest and insist it was fine to keep moving forwards, Ann and Makoto appeared to strong-arm you into the room. Now the entire group of high schoolers had to take care of you, a grown adult? Still, you pretended not to notice.

"Did you take psychology or something?" Ann asked, practically forcing you to sit down. She passed you an energy drink that had either been bought with Akira's hard earned part time money or looted from a shadow. Teen labor or dubious origins, you weren't sure which was worse for you. Seeing Ann hold it out so expectantly, you had no choice but to accept and take a small sip to ease her worries.

And back to her question. "Oh, not me. I majored in communications, but I have a friend who went into psychology."

"Really? That sounds interesting." Ann turned to Ryuji with a sharp stare and an open hand. You watched, with no small amount of apprehension, as he quickly dug out a sandwich to pass onto Ann, who passed it onto you. "Here, take this."

"Oh, I'm not—" With the look on everyone's faces, not just Ann's, you relented and took a smile bite out of the sandwich. It was good, if not a little squished, but you had eaten worse in college when desperate. You looked up to see everyone staring intensely at you and the sandwich. With all the stares and the caregiving, you were starting to feel a little awkward.

"How is it?" Makoto asked, leaning a little towards you from her stone seat. 

"It's...good?" You were about to set it down, but Morgana quickly shook his huge cat head. 

"No, no, keep eating!" Not knowing how to respond, you only nodded slowly and took another bite cautiously. "Okay, good. Anyways, what do you guys think of Futaba's palace?"

They broke into a quiet discussion as you ate your sandwich and drank your energy drink, listening in with half an ear. They made an effort to include you occasionally, but seemed to want to give you time to eat. If it were anyone else, they might've felt touched. To you, it felt horrible. You came here, not with the intention of having your every need tended to, but to help them. The opposite happening only made you feel more hopeless and burdensome.

Ann touched your arm carefully. "Hey, are you okay? The sandwich wasn't bad, was it?"

"It was great!" You smiled in spite of yourself, and tucked the half-empty drink into your bag, before getting to your feet and stretching. "I feel bad eating your stuff, though."

"What're you talkin' 'bout?" Ryuji got to his feet as well, looking as if he were filled with renewed vigor. Kids always had so much excess energy. "We're a team! As far as we're all concerned, that sandwich isn't even worth feelin' bad about."

He could say so, but it didn't change your mind. As with everything these days, you put on a smile and sheepishly agreed with him, exactly what he wanted to hear, before changing the topic back to Futaba's palace.

"We should probably move on now," you announced, "unless anyone else is tired? I just don't want to keep Futaba waiting for long." Perhaps they'd think you were just being kind towards someone you already had relations with. It was that, partially, but you were mostly hoping to get out of this tomb that seemed to bury not just Futaba, but yourself.

Everyone stood and got ready to leave at your words, and the seven of you filtered out of the room and back into the air conditioned tomb, where the surroundings no longer flickered into some room in Sojiro's house. It wasn't long before you reached another dead end in terms of a light reflecting puzzle, which you half-heartedly messed with for a while before passing the job onto Akira. "Sorry," was your light apology. "I'm not so good with these."

"Is that so?" Yusuke asked. "But you seem pretty good with them."

Correction: you had enough of a half-baked memory combined with good instincts that gave you a start on the puzzles. Anyone would have enough of a recollection after playing it and resorting to looking up a guide once they failed. "Comes with the life experience, I think. I've never been one for such a long series of puzzles."

"You may be the best in this group despite not liking them," Yusuke replied casually, eyes tracing a couple cracks in the wall before his eyes flickered back towards yours. "...with the exception of our leader, of course."

Akira, meanwhile, fiddled with the next puzzle while you waited with everyone else to see what he'd do. "No, I agree. He's a natural." The rest of you fell into silence once more, standing around like a couple of dads with beers looking at the singular dad grilling a patty. Akira worked through everything not quite perfectly, but his fumbling was on the minimal side and he seemed to get a good grasp of what to do after thinking for a bit. You nodded appreciatively at him making swift work of all of Futaba's mechanisms.

"There's certainly a lot of them..." Makoto commented off-handedly as you all continued further into the palace. "Ah, are these..." You had arrived at the first hieroglyphic puzzle, and you wordlessly stepped up to the platform.

"I can do these." These puzzles were considerably easier, where you could simply stand in front of a pedestal and hide how tired you were with a few flicks of your hand. Never mind the light which brought stabbing pain to your temples, nor how weak your legs felt in the moment.

The story behind the first hieroglyphic you watched with blank eyes. Her mother's funeral, with the harsh owhispers of adults echoing from the side. The funeral procession for Minato had been the exact opposite. Each and every person touched by his death, who was affected just as much as you may have been, all expressed their deepest sorrows and sympathies for you. You weren't the only person who had suffered, and you knew you weren't, but they had all taken your hands, looked so distraught on your behalf, almost as if they could see behind the façade you put on. Almost as if they were saying we'll move on, but we're worried you won't, and wasn't that the truth.

"Hey, are you okay?" you heard that a lot these days. Without letting Ann catch on, you tore your eyes away from the space where Futaba's hieroglyphics had been before shaking your head. 

"I'm good." The second one, conversely, of Futaba having seen her mother's death firsthand, didn't evoke anything in you at first. You had been unfocused, trying to will the tinnitus out of your ears, until Ryuji's voice broke through the shrill ringing.

"...she died right in front of Futaba's eyes." That was right, normal people didn't witness the deaths of those close to them, much less the deaths of two people. Four, if you counted Akinari and Mitsuru's father, five if you considered Itsuki, six if Chidori's original death had any meaning. Hardly, but then there were still the others who had passed on long before you had. 

Were you getting so desensitized to death that even Futaba's own struggles had no meaning to you? It was a terrifying thought, but one which had no outlet you could confide in.

The next one you came across was a depiction of Futaba tugging on her mother's clothes, likely trying to justify why she thought her mother hated her. Minato didn't hate you, but you wished he did, because that would've been far kinder to you now that you no longer had him by your side. It should've been easy. You, Minato, and Ryoji shared the same knowledge of the future, but two of you had died and one of you had been the only one left. The only survivor, the only one untouched by their eventual demise, the only one who deserved every ounce of hatred they should've been able to squeeze out. And they didn't. 

"...do you need a break?" Makoto asked you, with nothing but concern in her voice, polite as it was. 

"I'm fine, I'm fine," you assured her, blinking a little as you sharply looked away from the image. "You guys keep asking about that. Do I look really bad or something?"

Ann winced. "Um, maybe a little. But it's not really apparent!" She quickly tried to backtrack, even though you weren't offended at all. "We're just—we're just worried you might be pushing yourself too much. I mean, we all have personas and everything, but you don't even have the Metanav..."

"We're not saying you're not capable or anythin'!" Ryuji quickly added. "But...I dunno, it just feels kind of wrong to have you help us so much."

"I'm willing to do all of this, though, so don't feel bad. I'm super fit too, don't you worry. I've just been working on a...project recently, for work. Adult stuff." So they were discussing you while you weren't around. It was gratifying they even thought of you and were concerned for you, just as it was mortifying you were someone they needed to discuss how to handle. "Should we move on?"

Eventually, you reached a dead end with them and exited the palace, with the knowledge that only by entering Futaba's room through invitation could you finally reach her treasure. The rest of them set to work creating the calling card, each telling you to get more sleep and ask your boss for an extension if the project was that bad. 

The dreams only increased in their fervor at that point. On Friday, you sat with Ryoji at Yakushima, recreated from your own memories, feet swinging from the pier. It was a beautiful, picturesque scene. Not a single person besides two of you were there, and the sun shone sweetly upon the surface of the water and the sad smile Ryoji had. 

"I'm sorry," you murmured, "that you have to do this for me."

"I'm glad to be," was his light response. "But you should already know what I might say."

You faced him, head still half buried in your arms, which rested upon your bent knee. "I know. But I also know that I don't deserve any of the things you tell me I do."

"And what do you think of Futaba? Does she deserve to forgive herself?"

At that, you let out a light exhale through your nose. "Maybe it's because you're part of a dream my mind conjures up, but I know what you're going to say. Futaba and I share some things, but our 'sins' are wholly different. I knew about what would happen, and I..." The thought wasn't one you wished to spend any more time than necessary on it. 

There was concern on Ryoji's face, as he turned to the open sea and didn't turn back towards you. Towards the horizon, he began speaking. "Does it not worry you," he asked, "that the only people you're willing to confide in are figments of your imagination?"

"No." The answer came quick and easy. "No, not at all. This is my burden, and it will be mine until the day I die."

And even if he didn't say anything, you could feel his disapproval even through the thick haze of the dream. "I won't die," you assured him, unprompted. "I won't seek death either. It's only because of him we have this world and I have my life. It's only fair that I return it to him in the only way I can."

Ryoji shook his head. "He wouldn't want this."

"I know." For the first time in a while, a genuine smile came across your face. "He's far too nice for that. Unfortunately, I'm not."

And once you woke up, you knew without a doubt the dreams would only get worse from there. Despite your brave words, they terrified you more than anything, the incessant nightmares that chased you from your rest and spotted the corners of your eyes with blackness from sleep deprivation. But it would be scarier, no doubt, to have dreamless nights. A clear conscience. You longed for a rest from your mind just as you longed for worse, because then, maybe then, you'd be making up for all you had done.

Akira called for the calling card delivery not too long after, so you dressed yourself up in casual but easy to move in clothing and dragged yourself across the horrors of public transportation to LeBlanc, where you barely kept up with the conversation they were having. Luckily, beyond a few nods and quiet sounds of affirmation, they didn't require much else from you.

You entered Futaba's house, stood outside her room, and just like the previous time, you approached and made your case. Everything was going mostly smoothly, until the vertigo that had been consistent with your days struck once more, and you couldn't help but wince and stop speaking for a moment. 

This didn't escape the notice of everyone else. "H-hey, is something wrong?" Ann asked, arm stretching out as if to gently grab yours. You shook your head, which only made it worse. 

"No, I'm...it's just..." A rush of cold sweat beaded at your forehead as you leaned against the door for a moment, trying to catch your breath. Slowly, you slid from your leaning position down to the floor, where you pressed a hand against the spiking pain by your head. Ann was speaking again, but you couldn't quite focus on her voice, instead making vague noises to try to respond. A text dinged from Akira's phone.

Is she okay? Did something happen?

"She collapsed," you could dimly hear Yusuke say as Ann and Makoto knelt by you, whispering things to each other. Most of you was focused on the immediate pain and the cold, clammy feeling of your skin, but the smaller, more conscious part of you was greatly embarrassed. How could you face them after something like this? Your position as team adult was being greatly compromised at an alarming rate, and you wanted no part of it.

"Do you—do you need water?" Ryuji was asking. "Uh, maybe we can get you a cab, or—"

"I'm fine," you gritted out, trying to push yourself up weakly. Your hand slipped against the floor and you nearly crashed face first if not for Makoto's arm snaking out to quickly grab you. "Focus on stealing her heart."

"We can't just—" In the midst of the Phantom Thieves' teenage panic over your terrible condition, the door behind you creaked open just a bit. Akira's head shot down to his phone, where a message from Futaba arrived.

You guys wanted to come in, right? She can use my bed. Just make sure she's OK.

Wordlessly, the group exchanged looks before Akira quickly came over and gently wrapped your arm around his shoulder before he walked you into Futaba's cramped little room. Normally you would have protested, but at the moment your mind was filled only with static, so you let him set you on Futaba's little twin sized bed where Morgana joined you, flicking his tail nervously.

"Futaba, do you think we can get some water or painkillers or—"

"Work on..." It was a little hard keeping track of your thoughts, with how easily you were beginning to slip into unconsciousness. You especially did not want one of your infamous nightmares while still in front of the others, so you fought your closing eyes with all your might. "Work on stealing her heart. Please."

"When was the last time you slept more than a two or three hours?" Akira asked, instead of moving forward with the plot as you had hoped. 

You didn't have the energy to play it off casually anymore. "Friday." Fridays were the only nights you had any sleep, so the answer came easily, never mind the fact you couldn't even remember what day it was currently. 

"Friday? Your boss can't keep overworking you like that!" Ryuji was quick to voice his disbelief.

"Mitsuru's fine. She gives me too little work." You wanted to raise your head and wave your hand animatedly to show them how perfectly great you were, but you didn't even have the energy for that. 

"Then why..." 

"Please." Your voice came across as urgent and resolute. "I'll be fine. We came here for Futaba."

They were reluctant, but in the face of your insistence, they finally relented and began cautiously asking her to open the closet door. Morgana, meanwhile, put a paw on your arm, and even on his little cat's face you could tell he was concerned. "Listen, I don't know why you're not sleeping, but it's not right."

Even through your sleepy haze, you tried to force a smile and a joke. "Because you gatekeep Akira's bedtime?"

"Has he been complaining about that to you?" He shook his head back and forth, and you longed to pet him. "Forget that. Look, all of us are worried about you. Are you sure you're fine? It doesn't seem like it..."

For the longest period of lucidity you had in this entire scenario, you kept Morgana's gaze. Seeing as Morgana was unwilling to break eye contact first, you did. "This isn't anything you guys need to worry about. I'll be back to normal soon, so—"

"If normal is you pretending to be okay, then none of us want it." But Morgana's words didn't get through you. You only smiled at him knowingly, to which he looked apprehensive. When you didn't respond, he could only give up and continue sending worried glances your way as he returned to the main conversation with Futaba.

You faded in and out of that, as everyone left the room and Futaba finally came out with the calling card. Just as it happened in the original game, she read the card, Morgana jumped out of the room, and she fell on her ass in shock. Quite awkwardly, she picked herself up and fumbled her way over to her desk before taking a seat.

She noticed your half-lidded stare in her direction after she took a couple of deep breaths. "Sorry," you offered. "Should I leave now?"

"No, no, it's...it's fine." She still shrank back at your presence, but it was good to know she could at least tolerate you. "Um...you should rest. Unless you want to go back?"

"Ah, I don't know if I can get up," you admitted. The silence stretched on. "I'm sorry. I didn't want them or you to see this side of me."

Even if Futaba still had her own issues, still had her own guilt complex, she still faced you and awkwardly poked at her fingers, trying to reply to you as best as she could. "There's...nothing wrong with that, I think. And I don't—I don't really mind, so if you're fine with it, you can just sleep here."

I hope I don't. "I'll have to trouble you then," you decided was the less concerning answer. "Please don't mind me."

She nodded stiffly, and returned to her desk, slowly typing something. While you could still hold a conversation, you wanted to smooth things over as best as you could, so you began talking once more as your eyes continued closing against your will. 

"We're a bit similar, I think, if you don't mind me saying," you murmured. "I understand your feelings, so that's why I want the Phantom Thieves to help you. But if it means anything at all, I think...we're just as different as we are similar. So that's why you should be kinder to yourself. Futaba, you're giving yourself pain you don't deserve."

She didn't respond. Maybe you had gone a little too far, presuming too much about her. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't be talking about what you should or shouldn't do."

"...thanks," she mumbled. You could see her turn around, before your eyes slowly shut. Ah, that was right. You were just as similar as you were different; Futaba, just like you, could see no reason to forgive herself. No sense in asking that of her, if it was something you couldn't do either.

But you slipped off into sleep knowing that Futaba would, eventually, understand the truth of her situation and unravel the warped cognition of her mother. In your case, your mental image of Minato wasn't jumbled in the least. 

For the first time since the beginning of Futaba's palace, you had a dreamless sleep on a day that wasn't Friday, unfettered with the guilt that normally came with your sleep. You were woken up by Makoto and Morgana, already feeling much better than you had earlier. With the sudden lucidity came the memories and embarrassment, to which you buried your face in your hands.

"Well, it's good you're feeling better enough to feel embarrassed, but we have a bigger problem on our hands." You finally noticed Akira carrying Futaba on his back, and your eyes widened. 

"Is she okay? Just sleeping?"

"Yes, we're pretty sure, but we're still going to call for help from a doctor." You quickly moved aside so Akira could set Futaba on the bed and call Takemi.

Everything after that was just as you recalled, with the addition of everyone checking in on you after. It was just as shameful as you would've expected, though they were very cautious with asking and insistent you take better care of yourself, to which you lied and assured them it was a one time thing. What you did promise, unbeknownst to them, was that you'd hide it better.

A couple days later, you worked part-time with Sojiro to see Akira step down and Sojiro greet him solemnly. Futaba came in not long after, and unexpectedly pulled you along with her, Akira, and Morgana to go check out how she did her hacking thing with Medjed. You eventually ended up cleaning her room alongside Akira, and sitting beside him on the bed while Futaba typed away in silence.

Although you yourself refused to fall asleep in company a second time, you lent your shoulder to Akira and lap to one of Futaba's psychology books. If Akiyama wanted to flex her psychology doctorate any more in the groupchat, you'd just have to brush up on it a little and get her back for it. It also didn't hurt to learn a little on perception just in case it'd be useful in the future.

Futaba finished her work just as you went over perceptual sets a second time, and Akira's head jolted from your shoulder as he woke at the sound of her voice, only to see her pull out a pillow and fall asleep. "Why don't we move her to her bed?" you suggested, and he nodded, gently carrying her over as you put away the psychology textbook where you found it. Together, you stepped out of her room, closing the door behind you.

"I'll see you, then," you offered, as you exited the house with him. Before you could walk off and do your own thing, however, he grabbed your arm and you stopped to turn back to him. "Yes?"

"Take care of yourself," was all he said, before he let go of your arm.

"...we should meet whenever Futaba wakes up to celebrate her joining the Phantom Thieves," you suggested, casually brushing aside his words. Lying straight to his face always felt futile, with how sharp his eyes were. "I don't mind if you guys come over or something. I feel bad we always meet at your place."

Seeing your unwillingness to acknowledge his words, he could only relent under your stare. "I'll talk to them about it."

"Don't feel pressured to or anything." You waved at him cheerfully. "But have a nice night!"

Unlike your words, however, you had one singular bad dream that night which kept you awake. It was the usual guilty one which faded away once you woke, but you had gasped awake with the realization that Minato's face, outside of the dreams, was getting hazier and hazier.

Immediately, you pushed yourself out of bed and went digging in your closet. Inside an inconspicuous cardboard box you had hidden the things which brought the most pain to your heart. Aside went Ryoji's scarf, Akinari's original manuscript, until you finally sorted through everything with a heavy heart to find your scrapbook.

Away went everything else, which you tucked away back into the closet before you crawled out and dragged yourself to the living room, carefully flipping through the crisp pages. At first you had turned to it for comfort, but as the weeks and years went on it only twisted your heart further. 

Now, even the images and carefree captions brought you unnecessary hurt. But you put up with it, being able to see his face in fine print. How terrible were you, how ungrateful for his sacrifice, how utterly incompetent and ruthless, to begin forgetting the face of the one person you swore you'd carry with you to your grave. His voice, too, felt like a distant dream already beginning to fade away in the morning.

You must've spent the entire night hunched over in the living room. It was only when the 7am alarm began ringing on your phone that you roused from your stupor and slowly but surely pulled yourself off the floor with a deep sigh. The shackles around your heart seemed to tighten once more, clinking in your ears. Rattle. Rattle.

Somewhere, somehow, he must've been hearing the same thing, chained onto that door for all eternity.

Chapter Text

It sounded a little conceited to say you expected to be in the final team to face Nyx, but it was the truth. You had known since the night before, with absolute certainty, that either he'd willingly bring you along to the final confrontation or you'd force yourself into the merry little team. You were already running out of your time with him, and even if it meant you had to face a literal god with him by your side, what better way to celebrate your deepening relationship?

It was tense on the stairs to the rooftop, not that you'd expect anything else. Behind you, the rest of SEES prepared to fight back against the horde of shadows that you knew would begin swarming over once the fight began, and beside you, Minato, Yukari, and Junpei readied their weapons. 

"I can't tell if you trust us or you hate us," Junpei offhandedly commented, the hands clutching at his katana shaking more than just a little. "I mean, should I be honored you're picking us to fight with you?"

"Not everyone gets to fight a god," you replied. In comparison, you kept your composure well enough. It wasn't Nyx that scared you, not nearly enough. "I mean, college applications won't be so scary afterwards, right?"

"Uh, I think the only one who finds them scary is you." It was good he could fight back with his words. Really good. You didn't even feel up to being witty, or at least thinking of some sort of reply. 

"At least she has her priorities straight, unlike you." Yukari's grip on her bow was just as tight as Junpei's, but she took a couple deep breaths as she turned towards the door leading to the rooftop. "...we'll get through this, and then we'll apply for college. Easy."

You had no doubts the three of you would make it to your third year of high school. But what could you say? You're wrong, Yukari, Junpei, the only reason we can even consider our future is because of this martyr. Why couldn't it be me? Why couldn't it be me?

Beside you, Minato gently took your hand in his as if he could read your unsavory thoughts. Knowing him, he probably came very close to. You quickly turned and clasped onto his hands tightly, desperately trying to feel warmth from this one last time. 

You would never quite be ready to let go. No one would, in your situation. You had begged and pleaded all year long for an alternative, and when there was none, you pushed it out of your mind in hopes it'd go away. And now came the ugly truth you never wanted to confront, that you'd have to watch him give away his life this day and spend the next few months forgetting all your feelings. 

Junpei, completely ignorant to the slew of complicated feelings brewing in your heart, let out an exaggerated sigh. "Great, we're about to fight a god and you guys are still showing off PDA."

"Junpei!" Yukari hissed. "Let them have some time if they want! Besides, if Chidori were here you'd be doing the same."

"Well, I mean, we are—" He sighed. "Okay, yeah, yeah, I get it. Go do whatever you want. Better make it count before the fight and everything."

As if Junpei didn't exist (sorry Junpei) you returned your gaze back to him, ignoring how your eyes prickled with tears. "You're sure about this?" you murmured, in a voice low enough for Yukari and Junpei to not overhear. "We don't...I can always think of something else, so..." Now was far too late for any change, but Minato didn't point that fact out to you. 

"I'm sure," he said, and you just couldn't reconcile his warmth with the quiet death he'd meet on graduation day. 

"You're sure," you repeated, fingers trembling oh so slightly. 

He smoothed his hands over yours, before he let go first, right hand coming to a rest on top of his katana at his side. "I am." What a confusing chain of short two word responses. But he had drawn away his hands first, and it wasn't like you could continue to cling to him when he was the one dying, not you. When he was so willing to give away his life for the second time with nothing to show for it, not even a Wikipedia article.

"Okay." You tried to smile anyways. "Let's go...beat Nyx. You'll have me by your side this time, isn't that great?"

One of his rare smiles flitted across his face. "It is."

And that was how it had all began, your fight to save the world. Whatever that Akira Kurusu or Ren Amamiya would do in the future would be an imitation of this moment, you thought. You saved the world before he would. Your protagonist would die, and he wouldn't.

"We're ready," you announced to everyone else, drawing your naginata and patting down your evoker one last time. Slowly, you all shared one last look, a last smattering of conversation, before the same sense of resigned duty finally drew you all towards the door to the rooftop. To Nyx Avatar.

Lo and behold, Nyx Avatar swept up from the skies to land on the rooftop the exact moment your group made it up there, huddled in one close knit group in defiance of the path fate had laid out. This time, you were the first to speak seeing Nyx Avatar. "Ryoji."

"That was my name for a time. I didn't mind it." Its ever-present smile, dark and inhumanely curved, only made the whole situation seem worse.

"I hope you do," you replied, "because you're not Ryoji. Not at all."

Everyone else had their chance to declare their motivation for fighting against their so-called fate, and you kept quiet, hands gripping the handle of your naginata tight enough to cut off blood circulation. It was hard to separate your feelings, but fear and dread, those were the biggest ones. Fear of losing the most important person to you, and dread knowing it would happen no matter what.

So for his sake, you had to win. His sacrifice had to be worth something, his resolution had to bear fruit, the efforts he went through and the life he would give in return for the world had to have meaning. Fourteen forms? No biggie. An incredibly long time monologuing before each form shift? Not a problem. The arcana is the means by which all is revealed? You've been knew, Nyx Avatar, this was nothing new.

You followed Minato's orders exactly, with each skill and swipe of your naginata. You had an entire year to hone your skills, and that fight must've been your prime. Each steady slash of your naginata sang as it cut through the air and dug into Nyx Avatar, and the multiple skills you fired off with Chang'e seemed to take little toll on your energy.

"How are we doing no damage?" Junpei hissed, once the fight had reached its final stage and Nyx Avatar had shifted into its final form. 

"You need Almighty damage," you quickly replied, before narrowly dodging a Garudyne aimed right for you. Having a Wind weakness was so not cute. "Chang'e!"

Luckily, she understood without you having to spell it out. By that, you meant you simply directed her attack rather than waste time also naming it. At the cost of a little of your health, you dealt a good deal of Almighty damage before you backed off, catching your breath for a moment. Yukari took her chance to strike, and once again Nyx Avatar changed forms, spewing off a little speech in the process.

It was hard not getting frustrated, with all twelve forms and Nyx Avatar's penchant for casting that one invulnerability spell. And it was hard seeing the remnants of a face of someone you once knew twisted and warped into what was going to end the world. Ryoji. Minato. Everyone else didn't know a thing, but you did. 

When your next attack failed to land, you could only lash out by hurling your evoker at Nyx Avatar, which harmlessly bounced off and skittered to the side. Not for the first time, you wanted to break into tears. Junpei and Yukari stared wide eyed at your missing evoker, turning to each other and mouthing words in a panic. The four of you were so close to finishing the battle, and now one member was missing their means of attacking back.

Minato, however, didn't panic. He only held out his evoker, eyes softer than normal. "Here."

You took up his evoker, staring at its untarnished surface. Right. You weren't just his girlfriend here, or just a former player burdened with knowledge. You had another duty to fulfil, one that was necessary to guarantee the lives of everyone, including him.

Before Nyx Avatar could strike again, you raised the borrowed evoker to your head and pulled the trigger. "Minato!" You took your chance to cast an SP recovery skill on him, and he nodded in acknowledgement before turning towards Nyx Avatar, harbinger of death. Needless to say, you had the final blow completely up to him and he took it without a moment of hesitation, as if eager to jump into the maws of death himself.

No, that wasn't right. He was willing to save the world, a heroic but ultimately pitiful endeavor. Compared to staying with you, compared to dying an ignorant death, he chose to do this whole thing a second time. You knew what was coming up next, but that didn't make it any easier.

With Nyx Avatar drawing away, the moon unfurled to reveal a large red eye of sorts, and by then you had no choice but to fall to the ground under the immense pressure exerted. Beside you, Minato's eyes closed for a moment. You stopped your meaningless struggle to stare at his face for the brief moment it took for him to meet with Igor. You remembered this part. The bonds he had formed, coalescing into the final arcana before the elevator finally hit its final destination.

He opened his eyes and rose above the pressure keeping you and the rest of SEES down, eyes fixated on one point in front of him. You wanted to call for him to stay, to not go, but even as Yukari and Mitsuru and everyone else called for the same, the words wouldn't leave your mouth. Of everyone, you understood his situation the most. Not once had he shied away from his duty, this demand thrusted upon him simply because he had been at the wrong bridge at the wrong time.

"Good luck," you whispered instead, eyes never once leaving his figure. He didn't need any, but it felt wrong to not say at least something, even if it was akin to whispering into a black hole. He was still alive. He'd still be alive, for the few months afterwards, and you'd be none the wiser. That old idiom of heaven envying genius felt most real now, as you could do nothing but watch him float to his death.

You must've waited the longer end of an eternity, lying on the floor. Around you, the others showed their support in dialogue that sounded far too familiar. Ah, was he facing off against Nyx just now? In that case, even if it broke your heart, you had to show your support as well. You wouldn't be much of a social link otherwise, so you closed your eyes and imagined what the inside of that cavern in the moon must've looked like. Dark, lonely, decrepit and perfectly unbefitting of someone so brilliant as he.

How you wished you could take this place. "You've got this, Minato," you murmured, hoping it was good enough for something you came up with on the spot. "Let's save the world." There was a long moment of silence afterwards, and then you found yourself standing in a sea of stars. Beneath your feet, the galaxy seemed to extend on forever, as far as the eye could see. Each star gleamed, as if proclaiming its own existence to you, small as they were.

It's over. The thought brought you no comfort, only that ever-present sense of dread. It was strange, that you stood in the very front, with the rest of SEES scattered behind you. As a newcomer to the series, you should've been in the very back, hiding away from Minato's presence. 

Once the immediate shock wore off, Akihiko was quick to turn to Fuuka to ask about Minato. When she couldn't sense anything from him, they were all quick to chime in and call for him. "Don't worry," you told them, sounding far less concerned than the girlfriend of the missing person in question should've been. "He won't die from something like this. Minato, you can hear me, right? Don't go worrying us so much!"

"Alright." His response echoed into the silence. You smiled, though it quickly faded as you hid your mouth behind your hand, hoping no one would see how uncharacteristically torn up you were. It was coming apart, all falling apart, this pretty little life you had slowly built and fallen into a routine for. 

"...don't be too sad," came Ryoji's voice, breaking character. Your head jolted up, into the great darkness of the sky and stars, seeing nothing but eternity. "Everything has its end. Someday we'll meet again."

It was with those words he left your group, and it was with those words you forced a smile on your face. To everyone else, there was nothing to look so upset over. The world had been saved from the Fall, the hideous towering floors of Taratarus had slowly disappeared, and the leader of SEES had finally emerged from the darkness, eyes slowly opening as he returned from his harrowing battle to the death.

"Welcome back," you called, and took your first steps over. He let you slowly outstretch your arms to hug him, which he expected as much. Behind you, the rest of the group seemed to teeter and finally slump over, the battle being won. 

"We actually—we actually did it! We beat Nyx! Are you seeing this?" Junpei exclaimed, and the rest of SEES exploded into cheers and murmurs and exclamations, giving you a chance to hide your face in Minato's chest for a brief moment.

"I'm sorry," you whispered. "I'm so sorry. Does it hurt anywhere? Do you... Are you tired?"

He pat your shoulder slowly, once, twice, slow and methodical as if comforting a child. "I'm fine."

You pulled away, facing him forlornly. "But you—" You didn't even want to say it, with SEES behind you and Minato in front of you, looking calm but visibly pleased. So he saved the world again, what was so good about it? 

"I'll be fine," he assured you. Only he wouldn't be, and both you and him knew this perfectly well. Even Ryoji knew this well enough to specifically mention it to you during his final speech before he faded away, and yet he still had the audacity to pretend like everything would turn out alright in the future. But not only would it be sad for him, it would be sad for the dozens of people he'd be leaving behind, including you. He'd die for humanity, but humanity even deserve it?

"You've been hogging him long enough!" Junpei called, and you rolled your eyes playfully, even as your lips trembled. 

"Go ahead, just don't crush him to death," you said, peeling yourself out of his embrace to stand to the side, watching as the rest of SEES crowded around him and demanded to know what happened, how he was still alive, and did he know how worried they all were, watching him float off to god knows where, coming out the moon so nonchalantly and being introduced by Ryoji no less. How his girlfriend could have so much faith when the rest of them were freaking out, how calm he looked now when they were all losing their minds over him. Things like that.

It took almost an hour, before the exhaustion of fighting god seemed to finally set in as Ken set off a chain reaction of yawns. Mitsuru pulled out her phone almost instantly. "I'll call a driver over," she announced. "Since the dark hour is over, that means all electronics should start working again. After that, we all need to get to bed right away."

"And not even a party?" Junpei complained. "Come on, we have to have some fun." He would've been more convincing too, if he wasn't yawning and tipping over by then. 

"We'll have time tomorrow," Akihiko said. "I'm thinking we can drop by Shinji's too. Who knows, maybe he'll be so shocked he'll wake up once he hears." Though he didn't sound too convinced himself, there was an optimistic edge in his voice that suggested he at least wanted to believe such a thing.

Mitsuru nodded, putting her phone away. "That's right. Don't worry, it'll be more elaborate than the one we had for the twelve shadows. Any suggestions?"

"A bouncy house!" you quickly pitched in, tugging on Minato's sleeve. "You agree, right?" He nodded, and since it was the hero himself who agreed, Mitsuru had no choice but to sigh and nod as well.

"I guess that's fine." But you knew there would be no party, no bouncy house, no memories of these days for the next few months. You were terrified of losing these memories, of losing the precious little time you had with Minato from now till you fell asleep. But there was nowhere to move but forward, and when Mitsuru's limousine arrived, it wasn't like you could drag your feet and shake your head when everyone else was dead tired. And how would you explain it? If we go home now, you won't remember anything.

Minato pulled on your arm this time, waiting for you to enter the backseat before he climbed in as well. "Let's go watch something when we get back," you suggested, "or read a book, or work on homework, or..."

"You can do that tomorrow," Yukari suggested, from the seat across from yours. 

"But how about right now? I'm not even the least bit tired. In fact, I'm all pumped up from that battle—" you stifled a yawn, which didn't escape the notice of every single person. "I'm not tired. I'm not tired at all. I'm manifesting adrenaline and glutamate—" you yawned once more, despite your best efforts trying to keep your jaw in place.

Koromaru barked. "He says you're not convincing anyone," Aigis announced.

"Koromaru, you're lying. I'm the furthest from tired. If you don't believe me we can go fight it out, one on one, so I can prove to you how wide awake I am." Your eyes fluttered shut for a moment against your will, before you forced them open and pinched your leg.

"We can do something," Minato suggest, placating you almost immediately. You peered at him suspiciously, but you didn't have the brain power to really think any deeper. 

"I'm holding you to that," you told him, and he nodded. Everyone else let out a sigh, but you were old enough where they couldn't force you to go sleep.

Sure enough, once you got back he pulled up his laptop and set it on his low table in the middle of his room, where you gladly sat next to him and stretched out your arms to grab control of the keyboard. He draped a blanket around your shoulders as you stewed in thought, half asleep.

In the search engine, you looked up a list of the most popular anime, before your eyes landed on one. You pointed eagerly at the screen, turning back to Minato. "Let's watch Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood! Please? Trust me, it's really good, and since Bones hasn't come out with Mob—um... I meant nothing."

Thankfully, he didn't acknowledge your little slip up and instead gently pulled over the laptop to type in Fullmetal Alchemist Brotherhood, and lo and behold were the results. He didn't hesitate to click on the first streaming website to show up, protected by AdBlock. Was it illegal? Probably. But considering the circumstances, a little bit of crime you could stand.

You were nice and cozy, you didn't even need subtitles to watch...it would otherwise be a good moment, but your heart was clouded over in fear. Once you fell asleep, you'd only truly wake up when it was too late. How eagerly you'd offer up an arm and a leg if it meant just a day longer. Just one more minute. Just one more chance to say goodbye, besides the classic rooftop scene Aigis would no doubt be chosen for.

"You should sleep," he murmured, as you tipped to the side, exhaustion dragging your limbs down. You stubbornly shook your head.

"I don't want to," you muttered, squinting at the screen in front of you. "We don't have long together. I don't regret it, but...I want to spend what time there is left with you, and once I fall asleep..."

Your circadian rhythm tugged desperately at your consciousness and the melatonin and gamma-aminobutyric acid fired those neural impulses and whatnot. Point was, you knew it wasn't long before you passed out, which only worried you even more. 

"Don't worry," Minato said, which only made you more anxious. He only said that when there was indeed something to fret over. "I'm not going anywhere." Not for the first two months, at least, you responded mentally. 

But how could you argue with the very person you were preemptively mourning? "You better not," you mumbled, eyes falling shut once more. The whole fight with Nyx had indeed tired you out far more than normal, and you found yourself slipping off before long. You dreamt of nothing that night, only darkness and more darkness.

When you woke in the morning, you had the keen feeling there was something you were missing—but that faded away just as dreams often did, and you shrugged, rolling out of bed and hitting the floor without too much of a reaction. Just another day awake as a normal high school student, as you always had been.

Chapter Text

"...and once again, congratulations on Futaba's palace!" There was a smatter of awkward applause, which you honestly would rather take over dead silence. If you were by yourself, you'd invest in some authentic Japanese shochu or some champagne to celebrate like any lonely adult did. As it were now, you had a gaggle of kids you had at least keep some face in front of, even though you had been a bunch of dead weight recently.

"I know we've already been here, but your place is really nice," Ann began, taking a couple cursory looks around politely. "I love your decorations."

"Thanks, I got them from Ikea." There were a couple of succulents you had picked up and let sit by the windowsill, as a poor attempt to raise some sort of life in your apartment. They were hardy enough to withstand your weeks of neglect at a time, and thank god for that. 

For such a party, you went and ordered expensive sushi much to the horror of everyone else except for Yusuke, who seemed excited at the prospect of eating something worth more than a couple hundred yen. But what was the point of having such a lavish income if you couldn't spend it on some good food? Morgana seemed to appreciate your efforts at least, snatching up the fatty tuna while everyone admonished his appetite.

"It is an impressive apartment nonetheless," Yusuke commented, while putting back just as much sashimi Morgana did. "Incidentally, do you plan on getting more of this in the future? The taste is marvelous."

Before the more mature members, Ann and Makoto, could tell him to watch his words and stop asking for more, you responded right away, making a mental note of the place you ordered from. "If you like it, then of course. This isn't that much money."

"Seriously?" Ryuji put down his chopsticks. "My mom might cry if she saw this bill. No offense."

Your mom doesn't get reparations for high school trauma. "Good thing I'm not your mom then! Don't worry about it, go ahead and eat whatever."

The others were still reluctant to dig in fully, and though you didn't it show, you bemoaned your lack of charisma when it came to high schoolers these days. It had been a lot easier being hyper and energetic in your youth, but you were still in your early twenties and already lacking a lot of the energy you used to possess. You couldn't get past awkward silences with cheerfully jumping around and diverting the subject, nor could you use the more mature way of talking about someone's hobbies or interests you had been developing since college. 

"...I didn't cause you all too much trouble, right?" You decided to tackle the other big issue first, the most embarrassing one by far. Just thinking about how you had fallen over because of sleep deprivation and stole Futaba's own bed made you want to get into fetal position with your head in hands. 

Ann quickly shook her head. "Of course not! Right guys?" She desperately elbowed at Akira and Ryuji beside her, who nodded reflexively. "See? No problem!"

Ann was being nice as always. "I really hope so... I feel bad having to rely on you guys so much."

"...you shouldn't." Makoto's voice was calm, but carried a current of concern. "You might be the oldest here, but that doesn't mean you can't depend on us for help."

Before you could even process that, the fact that they were starting to see through much of you already—your phone rang and you curiously looked over at the call id. "I'm sorry, do you guys mind if I take this call?" 

"Oh, sure, go ahead," Futaba announced, and you accepted the call, pressing your phone between your ear and shoulder as someone's wailing entered your ear. 

"Go ahead and look around the bookshelf there if you get bored," you said, before you quickly returned to the phone call, making your way outside of the apartment for a little privacy. "Okay, okay, enough crying," you told the man over the phone as he sobbed uncontrollably.

He was a new intern, but mostly good at his job if not for a few honest mistakes. That, and he grew teary at the blink of an eye. "What am I going to do?" you could make out through his sniffling. 

"Calm down first, then tell me. We'll figure it out together." It was also just your luck, being assigned as babysitter. Luckily, you weren't really the type to get mad no matter how infuriating he could get, which was...a lot. 

"I don't know," he continued crying, and you had a single moment of clarity where you understood this phone call wouldn't be ending anytime soon. "Senpai, what if they—what if they fire me?"

"I can't tell you if they will or won't if you don't tell me what happened," you calmly explained, leaning against the wall with a quiet sigh. "Okay, what's wrong? I won't get mad or anything, but I can't tell you what to do if I don't know what you did."

It took a while, but he managed to calm down long enough to speak in complete sentences. "I emailed the confidential information to the wrong company... Am I done for? Are they going to blacklist me at other companies? I heard from the other senpai that if you—"

"Ignore them for now," you quickly told him, before his thoughts could escalate. Hopefully the high schoolers wouldn't get too bored back there. "It's hard to say for now, but don't freak out. For now, what you need to do is send a new email right away asking them to not open the email, and explain there's confidential information there."

"R-right now?"

"Yes, right now, as soon as you can. Afterwards, make a report to your superior. Don't delete anything either, if they decide to do some sort of investigation you can say you tried to resolve the issue as best as you could."

"Okay. I can do that." He then went and typed up the entire email while still crying, which amazed you. He was only a little younger than you and still interning at that, but he seemed to have a boundless pit of energy to continue his crying. You would've long since dried your tears and moved on. He sent it, but didn't seem any less anxious. "Senpai, will they fire me? You're good at this, you should know."

You sighed through your nose, but humored his question. "If this were the medical field, this would be a lot more serious. As it is, any confidential information passed down for you to work with is basic stuff. You might get reprimanded or have some of your salary deducted, but I doubt you'll be fired."

Finally he perked up, ceased crying, and sounded like his normal cheerful self. "Really? Thank you! Thank you so much! If you weren't here, I don't know what I'd do!"

Continue crying until someone found him, most likely. "Of course. You're good now? I was hosting a...meeting earlier, so I need to get back to that."

"Oh no, I'm sorry! Please, go back. I'm all good now!" At least he bounced back fast.

"Alright, I'll see you at work." After saying your goodbyes, you tucked away your phone and finally opened the front door again, only to see the Phantom Thieves crowded around Akira's phone.

Morgana was the first to notice you, and quickly rammed his body into Akira's arm, giving everyone the cue to stare up at you with wide, deer-in-headlights eyes, as if you had walked in on something you weren't supposed to see. You had enough life experience to be suspicious of them right away. "Is something wrong? You guys look a little startled."

"O-oh, we just weren't...expecting to see you back so soon!" Ann quickly said, discreetly elbowing Akira. "Isn't that right? Guys?"

A chorus of agreements followed, a lot more stilted than they'd normally be. "If you guys say so. What were you all looking at anyways?"

They all exchanged another wide eyed look, which fully confirmed your suspicions. Only Akira seemed any bit natural, responding with, "Instagram post."

"Oh, nice. Guess it's too young and hip for me, right?" You added a wink to your words, giving them a lifeline to bail themselves out of their awkward pit, which they all clasped onto ridiculously fast.

"Nonsense. You're still around our age," Yusuke replied.

"It's really no big deal," Morgana added, which...was probably not the best thing. But you knew without a doubt straight up asking them what they were doing wouldn't yield any results. They'd stammer half a day and think of this and that to distract you, but it was never effective. At the same time, if it was something they were determined to hide, what right did you have to pry? 

You were not their friend, nor their confident. Just a business partner.

"...so what was that call about?" Futaba asked, successfully shifting the conversation onto another road. You'd let them get away with it, if it meant they'd stop looking at you with that strangely sad expression. 

"Oh, our new intern accidentally emailed confidential information to the wrong person." Futaba paused.

"Uh. Isn't that bad?"

"Probably." You flapped your hand dismissively as you took a sip of water. "But I'm not going to tell him that, or he might cry himself into a coma."

"You work with some interesting people," Ryuji commented, and then it was like that previous little incident hadn't occurred. You spent a while longer chatting with them, finishing up the expensive meal you footed the bill for, before the Phantom Thieves all exchanged the same look.

"Thank you so much for today," Ann began, "but we shouldn't impose on you any longer. We'll meet again later?" 

"Of course, of course." You quickly got up, as did they, and you went through the classic host motions of leading them to the door, spewing pleasantries all the way, before they finally exited the building and you stared at the closed door in silence. The smile dropped from your face as you slowly considered what it was they didn't want you to know.

Nothing came to mind, however, and you hardly wanted to dwell too much in the thought, instead turning back to the freshly tidied living room they had insisted on helping you with. If it meant anything, after coming back from your phone call they had been oddly kind to you, in a distinctly quieter way than normal. But it wasn't like they had an informant that would text them hey, your buddy here's got a bucketload of issues from high school.

Regardless, you made your way over to the couch, before flopping on your stomach and closing your eyes. You weren't foolish enough to fall asleep, but you lay there for a good half an hour, thinking of nothing but the darkness which enveloped your vision. And then you got up once more, sighing before you rummaged around for your work laptop and got right back to finishing up a recent project proposal.

Adult life was so... "So boring," you mumbled to yourself. Your friends had scattered in the winds, you had long since grown up, and now you had an apartment to yourself rather than a dorm with the people you loved most. No walking downstairs to see Akihiko, Junpei, and Minato crowded around some sort of new video game, no going on walks with Koromaru and whoever else had the time, no Fuuka or Yukari to notice your downward spiraling mood and try to alleviate your concern in the only way they knew how.

There was little meaning in a life without him. And yet you lived on, breathed on, if not just to honor the life he gave up his for. Of course there were the Phantom Thieves too, but they hardly needed your help, now that you thought harder about it. You didn't even have a persona anymore. Chang'e had left you too, which meant you were nothing more than the husk of whatever person you used to be. Whatever person this body was before you took over, if there even was a person before you.

You really didn't like thinking about that. With another sigh, you got to your feet and went digging around in the fridge for a rare can of beer. Really, you couldn't wait until you became a full-fledged alcoholic in a couple of years.

The alcohol did help with distracting your thoughts, though you took care not to drink too much. After passing the ripe age of twenty this was all you could show for it, the legal right to drink. 

You did notice the Phantom Thieves didn't call for any meetings afterwards, not that you thought too much about it. The plot would progress when it did, and they had probably gotten sick of you already. Sae continued to invite you out, and you continued to accept. Shinjiro didn't get too mad when you called, which was good enough, and Fuuka often texted inquiring about work and your health. So it wasn't like you didn't have friends besides a ragtag team of mostly high schoolers, but you'd be lying if you didn't miss them. At least just a little bit.

You were surprised, however, when Akira texted you as you were making your way home.

-

Akira Kurusu

Do you have time on Saturday?

You

sure! for what?

Akira Kurusu

Just to spend time together.

You

? just us?

Akira Kurusu

Do you want anyone else?

You

i dont really mind either way

ill be your chaperone then!

Akira Kurusu

Sounds good.

-

You really couldn't get used to people who texted in perfect grammar. But it was fine, he was probably the straight-laced type who was secretly a comedian at heart, and used his deadpan face and words for the perfect deliveries. It was also this very straightforward way of talking which made you puzzled over why he wanted to hang out in the first place. It wasn't like you could subtextually draw anything out from his textbook grammar either. All those years of text sleuthing with Akiyama only to come up short in a crucial moment...

Social link? No way. Unless...? No, probably not that. Did he want to spend the day with you before kindly asking you to drop out of the Phantom Thieves? More likely. Very likely, now that you thought about it. Probably out to give you one last dose of kindness before dropping the bad news. 

It didn't make you completely happy, the thought of being kicked out the newest group of persona users. But at the same time, once you were gone that'd be another load off your shoulders. You hadn't been much for escapist fantasies, but that about had to change once you ended up in Tatsumi Port Island. If not for dreams of living a normal life, being able to fall in love normally, being able to spend time with your friends just as normal teenagers did, would you have made it through the school year as you did? 

So you knew, without a doubt, no matter how devastated the news would be, it would mean you'd be freed of your side character role. Why did you even bother moving to Tokyo? You could've easily pursued some other job, far, far away from Mitsuru, who took care of you far too well. She didn't pay for Yukari's college tuition, nor Junpei's. Just yours. And maybe you were on a scholarship, but money was money, and a job was still a job. 

You slept, not soundly, but it wasn't like you even had that left going for you. The weather report made the day out to be rather cold, and movie theaters always had a tendency to blast cold ice at your weakest points. Back into your closet you went, looking for that little box of trinkets. From the empty little cardboard thing you pulled out Ryoji's old scarf, which you regularly washed only to let it sit and collect dust.

Just a little good luck charm. You wrapped that around your neck with shaking fingers, trying to ignore the memories of the last time you wore it. But you didn't lose yourself in your thoughts too much, considering you still had a sharp-eyed Phantom Thief to meet. 

After taking one last look at your outfit, you picked up your bag and stepped out the door, looking through an online map to figure out the best train line to take over. With the aid of Google Maps, you avoided getting too lost in the infamous labyrinth of train lines running through Tokyo. 

Akira had already arrived once you pushed your way through the throngs to people to where he stood by the counter, on his phone. He put it away as soon as you waved at him, and his slouch only improved by a couple degrees at best. "Did you wait long?" you asked, praying the dark circles under your eyes were covered up well enough.

"Not really," he replied, and you made your way to the counter with him.

"What are we watching?" He listed some movie you had heard about, but hadn't checked out. While he made a fair attempt to pay for the both of you, the fact remained you had far more experience in fighting for bills than he did. You pushed aside his arm without much thought, passing your very adult credit card over to the cashier. "Two adult tickets please."

"Of course." The cashier rattled off a well-practiced short speech on what to do, which you nodded warmly to. 

"I'll pay you back," said your cute little protagonist. 

"Don't worry about it." You were pretty sure he was juggling three different part time jobs at this point. "What do you want to eat? Think of it as building up good credit for me."

Despite your best attempts to get him to just let you pay for him, he adamantly refused and you could only watch as he paid for overpriced movie theater snacks with his own allowance money. He didn't even have his rich friend at this point, so what was the point? You existed. You weren't rich, but you sure were willing to expend quite a bit of money for his sake, if only to make yourself feel better. 

But back to the movie. Akira certainly had good taste, because the whole thing reminded you of a Makoto Shinkai movie. Speaking of, you really needed to check if he existed or not, because you were fairly certain Your Name came out in 2016 just as the current year was.

After the movie, you walked with him along the streets. "What did you think of the movie?" you asked him, still squinting in the sunlight. Maybe the sleep deprivation made the sun feel worse than it was, because the stinging pain persisted even though you were fairly certain a normal person should've been done adjusting. 

"It was good." As always, he kept his words curt. You couldn't help but wonder if he was like this to everyone else as well, or if it was just with you. "What about you?"

"It was fun." You let yourself think back to the movie, narrowly dodging someone else as tried to recall what had happened. Funny thing, your memory really was starting to go as well. "Hm... I thought the ending was a little unrealistic, but it'd be nice if that could really happen."

Akira turned the corner, and so did you. "Why do you think it's unrealistic?"

The ending... You had only spoken that on a whim based on what you remembered of it, but now that he asked you had to really go back and consider it. Just like Makoto Shinkai's two recent movies before your untimely isekai experience, there had been a separation of the two main characters. And just like a Makoto Shinkai movie, they reunited as the credits rolled. 

Ah. No wonder you hadn't liked the movie all too much at the very end. "You won't always reunite with the people you lose," you told him, and prayed he wouldn't ask too much or your calm persona would finally shatter. And quite luckily, he knew how to read the mood and you instead passed the time talking about something else.

Eventually, you reached a familiar arcade, and you peered curiously at your companion. "How much do you have planned for today?"

"Not too much," he replied, and together you paid for arcade coins before wandering around the familiar machines. Of course, the first thing to catch your eye was the one claw machine filled with Jack Frost plushies, and you immediately wandered in its direction, pressing your hand on the glass as you stared into its contents. 

"You're back," said a young and familiar voice from your side. You didn't jump, but you did turn around rather stiffly, before you recognized the owner of the voice. 

"Shinya!" While you still visited him on occasion, it wasn't like you were particularly close. He was good with claw machines and you often were willing to spend money for him to exercise his good gamer skills. Akira followed right after, and you smiled as if you were in on some secret. Which...you technically were, knowing the plot and everything. 

Before you could break the ice, Shinya looked between you and Akira, before understanding dawned in his eyes as he adjusted the brim of his cap. "So you guys know each other?"

"Yep, we came here from a movie. And I don't need to ask if you know this guy, right?"

Still a little shy, he nodded. "Yeah."

"Great! Speaking of, could you..." You eyed the claw machine meaningfully, which Shinya understood and held out his hand for you to drop a sizable quantity of tokens in. As Shinya worked his gamer magic, you hung back with Akira to watch the kid like an approving parent.

"Does he always do this for you?" Turning to Akira, you held his gaze for a moment before nodding quite seriously.

"I'm not as good, so yes, he does."

He nodded too, and silence descended once more. He kept sneaking looks at you regardless, which you politely pretended to not notice. "Nice scarf," he said, tilting his head towards your neck. Without thinking, you bunched your fingers in the fabric. You quickly let go, smiling as if nothing was up. "I don't think I've seen you wear that before."

"Ah...yeah, I was just feeling cold today." If your smile was more strained than normal, he didn't seem to notice. 

"Is it important?" On second thought, there was no way he didn't notice. His eyes were hawkish, even more than normal, and had you any less self control you might've backed away after his barrage of sharp questions. You might gaped a little, seeing the glint in his eyes even behind his thick glasses.

There was no way he was unintentionally hitting a sore subject. But the question then begged was—how did he know to interrogate you specifically on this topic? How could he keep your gaze so steadily, as if every word he said didn't drag you deeper into that endless pit your stomach conjured up?

"What are you guys talking about?" Shinya asked, carrying around an armful of Jack Frost plushies to where you and Akira stood. You quickly turned and accepted his haul, putting on a familiar show.

"Just this and that. Thank you for always helping me out." You cradled the whole armful to your face, hiding your expression for just a brief moment. When you lowered the Jack Frosts down, your composure had finally knit itself back together. "Are you sure you don't want to take me up on that ice cream offer?"

He shook his head. "No, I'm fine."

"Next time, then." You made this promise every single time, which he would never let you fulfil. One day you'd finally get around to it, but today was not that day. "Akira?"

He had been checking his phone. Texts, you wagered, judging by how his phone vibrated. That, and Morgana finally popped his head out to peer over Akira's shoulder with renewed interest. That, and he spoke quietly to Akira, something he obviously didn't want you hearing. "It's getting late. Do you want to head to LeBlanc?"

"LeBlanc?" You gently stacked your hoard of Jack Frost plushies into your bag before forcing a nod and a smile. "Sure thing."

Your little journey to your final destination today was now punctuated with Morgana's input, who gladly spoke of happier things than your scarf. Akira pushed open the door and Sojiro raised an eyebrow.

"We're going to close up, actually. Should I just let you lock up on your own?" When you checked the time, you also realized how late it was.

"That's fine," Akira replied, and you offered a few pleasantries to Sojiro before he finally took off. Akira gestured towards the counter, so in the end you had no choice but to take a seat and wait for him to brew you something to drink. 

"There's a reason you called me here, right?" You watched with half lidded eyes as he carefully poured out the coffee. A simple latte, in your expert opinion. He was real gifted with coffee brewing, but that must've been his protagonist talent and some good nurturing from Sojiro. 

"Yeah." With practiced ease, he began drizzling foam into the latte. He finished up rather quickly, and began pouring out his own cup as he set yours down to the side. 

"Is it bad news?" you kept your voice light, unconcerned, as if you didn't know they were finally going to drop you from the team. Akira dipped below the counter for a moment, leaving you with no reply. 

"It's up to you to decide," he finally replied, and slid you the latte. That part wasn't what caught your eye, however, but the card nested between the bottom of the coffee cup and its platter. 

Red and black, with a familiar logo emblazoned on the back. The meaning of the card you knew all too well, but you stared at it anyways, as if afraid to even touch it. "Is this..." 

He didn't reply, even as Morgana climbed onto the counter (which Sojiro would hate, especially if he found cat hair over his things) and stared at you. As if waiting for your reaction. Too bad for them any reaction you had was muted out, as you stared and stared. 

And finally, through the white noise ringing in your head, you picked up the card and flipped it around with a jerk of your wrist. ...for the sin of giving into despair for a situation beyond your control, we will steal your distorted desire to punish yourself in atonement. This burden will no longer be yours alone to bear. Sincerely, the Phantom Thieves.

There was too much you could say, and too little you could actually bring yourself to express. You opened your mouth, closed it, opened it again, and instead read that little blurb over and over again. Distorted desire. Atonement. No longer yours alone to bear. 

Forget everything else. Forget the implication behind this little card, delivered so innocuously. Forget the fact that this new discovery made your heart race, your mind reel, your chest tighten. What remained, underneath the shock and fear and self-hatred for becoming a burden once more was—if it was delivering a card, this whole date was unnecessary. 

"Akira," you asked, voice quiet and low as you flipped the card in your hands. "What arcana am I to you?" 

"Aeon." He didn't hesitate. Some small part of you knew you were acknowledging, in the tiniest of fractions, that you too knew more about this world than you appeared. But the larger part of you knew that Aeon, eternity, represented the non-human characters learning humanity and how to fit into the world, or something to that effect. Aigis, Marie, and now you.

I'm human. What lesson about humanity am I supposed to be learning? What fitting in am I supposed to do?

The cardstock of the calling card twisted once more between your fingers. "For what it's worth, I'll accept this. The palace, stealing my treasure, all of it. On one condition."

Akira nodded. "Name it."

"Let me come along too."

Chapter Text

The day before Nyx was set to go wreck havoc on the world, destroy some lives, murder the one person you loved in the form of the other person you loved, you dragged out said loved one in the evening. "For a date," you explained to everyone else, and while the thought of a date still sent a giddy smile to your face, its radiance was greatly diminished. For one, what was a date when the end of the world was the next day?

It was good for Minato, then, that he didn't appear the least bit affected. Good for him, facing the day looking as he always did, albeit a lot more at peace. You resented that, but you could never really resent him, so it all canceled out and made you feel horrible instead.

"Let's go to Chagall," you suggested, "since it's still open and I'm not going to drag us to the port."

"Alright." He readily agreed, and let you pull him along the same worn path. Your fingers were tightly intertwined with his, as you clung onto his arm and probably broke a couple of bones in the process. 

Along the way, you continued to peer up at him. He'd return the look, and sometimes even the slightest of smiles, to which you always had a flustered reaction to. For what it was worth, you'd only allow a couple moments of silent lovelorn staring before you found another topic to discuss.

There wasn't enough time in the day for you to talk enough with him. Tonight was practically the last time you'd have him, honestly and truly, and just the thought of waking up without him to chat with twisted your heart in five different directions. There were all the things in the world you wanted to hear him talk about, but you had so little time to speak of them all.

"We should go traveling," you suggested. "You and me. There's this one Chinese author I've read, who talked about visiting this one temple and an old tree that accompanied it, and wrote a whole story just for the one scene she thought of. I want to visit those Chinese temples with you, I want to backpack across Europe with you, I want to swim in the Caribbean with you, all of it." And he was quiet, but when was he not? Always thinking, eyes closed, as if too kind to even dignify you with a white lie. 

"That sounds nice." Nice, but no yes or no to going with you. Not that you expected another answer. At this point, it was enough for you just to tell him and dream of a better future than the one assigned to the two of you by cruel fate.

"...I'll show you around my hometown," you told him instead, seeing the lights of Paulownia light up in the distance. "And think of the beaches in Los Angeles and Hawaii. Or the night markets in Taiwan and Korea!" 

Perhaps, in a show of that kindness he had so much of, he allowed you to continue rambling about the future even as you wandered into Chagall with him, late at night. Late, but not late enough for the place to close down. Every tourist destination you could think of slowly ran dry as you took a seat by the window, while he sat across from you. 

"So Nyx is tomorrow," you murmured, having lived out every fantasy of traveling with him with nothing to show for it but heartache. "I'd ask if you're ready, but...how can anyone be ready for that?"

He smiled, which he had been doing a lot more in the final stretch of your walk over to Chagall. It was a sad one, one of those martyr smiles that made him seem completely at peace. "Don't worry, I am."

You slid one of the menus across the table and he picked it up. "You might be, but..." I'm not. Are you going to leave me and everyone else behind like this? "...well, it's nothing. What do you want to get? I think I want hot cocoa."

"A latte is fine." As you always did, you waved a hand and called over a nearby waitress, rattling off your orders with gusto. You passed over the menus in his stead, turning back to look at him before your gaze eventually fell to the table, and you tapped at the surface with a finger, unsure of what to say.

"It's a little late," you murmured, unable to look up, "but is there anything you'd like? Anything at all, no matter what it is."

"Just having you is fine." It was unfair how smooth he could be even as you were questioning your whole existence and raison d'etre. If you were in his situation, could you have been so calm? Could you have been fine with dying, just having one last moment with someone you loved?

Maybe you would be. But that was you, and you couldn't accept the same from him. "Come on, you know what I mean!" You made a show of pouting, looking a little displeased, but nothing serious. And beneath that you wondered if there really was anything you could get for him before the next day. Your love would not pry him off the door he'd be chained to.

Your drinks arrived rather quickly, and you quickly accepted your drink from the waitress, taking a sip after blowing on the surface in an attempt to cool it down. For the most part, you avoided scalding your tongue. He took a sip as well, before setting his cup down and looking unfairly picturesque under the artificial cafe lights.

You eyed his latte, and he wordlessly passed his cup to you so you could try it out for yourself. Sure enough, you could never get used to coffee, but you drank anyways, if only to experience just one thing he did. He accepted the cup back, peering into his reflection calmly. "In that case, how about a bookmark?"

Small, cheap, and lowkey. "I'll get you one," you promised him. As if a bookmark could make up for his death. As if a little trinket could buy his freedom. 

Knowing very well he couldn't argue with you here, he nodded and agreed, giving you his thanks. You kept the displeasure off your face as best as you could. This whole conversation was a farce. Buying gifts, drinking coffee as if it were an ordinary night... None of this meant anything.

You wanted to speak the words that had been stuck in your throat, but each time you tried something held you back. Was it fear, with its sharp claws, or was it guilt, with its heavy stone body pulling down your back further and further? Each time you were certain you could come out and ask another rock would pelt your heart and tumble down into your stomach.

But if you didn't speak now, perhaps you'd never hear the answer. So for the first time, you broke the unspoken taboo that had steadily maintained itself between the two of you. Your conversations had always been careful, tiptoeing around the same topic the two of you danced around, stepping close but never quite crossing the line. The two of you certainly knew what the other wouldn't openly admit; he was reliving his second year of high school, making all the same mistakes willingly, and you were some outsider who had fallen into something she knew with acute familiarity.

"Why did you—why did you continue defeating all the shadows?" And maybe that was the one sentence you needed to break down everything that held you back, because you couldn't help but let everything pour out at once. "You didn't have to. I would've gladly come up with something to back you up." There was more you had to say, but the first thing you had to gauge was if he was willing to discuss all this meta stuff in the first place.

And of course he did, because he answered after a moment's consideration. "...I made a deal with Elizabeth. I'm not redoing my life, just reliving it."

Of course. Classic New Game Plus, unable to change the main storyline. "Then, did I exist in..."

"No." He shook his head. "Not before."

A little spark of hope bloomed in your chest. Far from shying away from your previously taboo, meta topics, he seemed to embrace them openly, answering as if the questions were simple icebreakers instead. "Then who did you date? Yukari, right?"

He shook his head once more. "Not Yukari."

"Fuuka?" No. "Aigis?" Still no. "Okay, how about Akihiko? Mitsuru? Hidetoshi?" No to each. You frowned, crossing your arms to finally ponder on your own. "Did you really not date anyone? Even though everyone would kill to be with you?"

"Is that so bad?" He spoke more to you now, on this little date of yours, then in the past week combined. Not that you minded. But it was a little strange, having him be so open with his words when you were asking the toughest questions.

"I'm...your first? Me?" When he nodded, you pressed your hands to your cheeks and allowed yourself that small moment of silly joy. And then you let it dissipate as your smile quieted down and your hands returned back to clasp around the mug sitting in front of you. "You know, I really love you. I really, really love you."

"I know." And it didn't even sound conceited from him. You had told him as much many, many times, too many times for him to not understand the depths of your affection now. 

"And I know you said you're fine with it, that you're only reliving your life, but..." You pressed on, despite the growing knot in your stomach. "But how can you just...accept that? I don't want you to go. I don't want to fight Nyx." You let go of the mug to reach across the table and hold onto his own hands, to which he completely let you, only watching you with those clear eyes of his. "We still have time. Maybe you can sort of pass on the wild card thing to me, like Aigis—"

He didn't interrupt you or anything, but he smiled, and it wasn't a very good one. All his smiles were good, of course, but this one was far too sad for you to enjoy looking at. "It'll work out," he said, a touch cryptically. None of it would work out, because he'd leave you and you'd be left behind, and wasn't it funny, because even though you knew he had it rough you knew some small part of you still thought being the last one alive was in some way worse than death. And maybe it was. And maybe you were right, but you could never say it out loud.

"Will it?" You continued holding onto his hands, looking for any sign of reluctance in his eyes. Even if he had known from the beginning what fate awaited him, even if he had been well prepared since Elizabeth told him, there still had to be some sort of inhibition holding him back. But there was nothing, no hesitation, no sorrow for himself. "Even if it means you'll..."

"I've always known," came his easy reply. "As have you."

You sighed, letting go of his hands to rest your chin on your arm and peer out the dark window, into the dimly lit fountain in the center of the square. "Yeah." His gaze felt too heavy to hold all of a sudden. "I know, but..."

He kept silent, letting you mull over your thoughts. A voice in your head screamed for you to stop moping and start putting on that pretty little façade again. You couldn't let him worry when the fate of the world rested on his slim shoulders, a burden too heavy for anyone, let alone him. An orphan, who had finally found meaning to live in his life, destined to give up his life young. And he bore no malice, no resentment, nothing but gentle acceptance. 

So you relented, and squirreled away every feeling you had and replaced it with the same sort of acceptance you imagined him feeling. "We'll see Ryoji again, won't we? He promised last time."

"Would he lie to you?" Interesting deflection.

"I'm not sure. He might, but I want to believe him." Speaking of this, you turned to him resolutely. "But I'll see you again. I promise I will." This you could only be sure of because you made a deal with the devil, that was why. You didn't tell him, nor give him any hints, but he seemed to understand your words for some reason.

With another one of his smiles, he said, "I'll look forward it."

"As will I." You kept the smile on. "...am I one of your social links?"

You expected a shake of the head, a no, but instead he nodded and your breath caught in your throat. "You're Hope," was his response.

"I suppose I shouldn't have expected any of the major arcana," you replied. "Hope. I'll have to look that up." What an ironic arcana to assign to you. Maybe in due time you'd come to realize why, but for now it all seemed as if you were underwater, dimly listening to each quiet word he spoke. Like you'd come up for surface and all of it had been some dream, some illusion, and clarity would drag you away from way your body seemed to sink. 

"And thank you," he added, seeing as you had twiddled with your thumbs, staring at your reflection in the window. 

"For what?" You tried really hard not to cry. There was nothing you had done for him, especially nothing deserving of thanks. 

"For Chidori and Aragaki-senpai. For staying by my side. And for letting me go."

The first two made sense, but the last one tugged at your heartstrings. Before you could stop yourself, you blurted, "but I haven't let you go yet." And you regretted saying it as soon as the words left your mouth, as you quickly jerked in your seat and stared wide-eyed at him.

"You will," he assured you, with no hesitation at all. You had always been convinced he was the one who knew you best, in a way none of the other SEES members could ever be privy to, but he obviously didn't know you well enough here. Because without a doubt, you could understand there was no easy way for you to ease his place out of your heart, especially not when it was accompanied with the vice grip of death. 

Death idealized everyone, especially for someone like Minato. But this was your issue, not his.

"Alright," you replied, squeezing his hands tightly. "I trust you." There was too much you wanted to say, but not enough words to express them all, so you prayed he could understand everything unsaid between the two of you. 

Your relationship was a magical thing. So much of it hinged on this tacit understanding of each other, through the unspoken and unwanted truths. And maybe it pulled through one final time, because all you could want to say—that you loved him and would continue to love him and if there were a second chance, one without Nyx and without these supernatural duties, you'd have stayed by him again and again—seemed to push through. It would be an overstatement to say his face fell. For a moment, you could see his eyes fall to the table, before a small, wry smile appeared on his countenance and the spell was broken.

"Let's head back," he suggested, getting to his feet and pulling you with him in a rare reversal of the usual. The bill had since been paid, so you walked back to the dorm hand-in-hand, just late enough for the darkness of the streets to feel quieter than normal, just early enough so your dormmates wouldn't worry. 

That night, you showered as normal, taking your time dozing off under the water pelting your back. Eventually, you dragged yourself out of the warmth and into the cold, brushing your teeth and checking your reflection in the mirror for signs of sorrow. You pulled your lips up in a smile, and kept it there for five seconds until you deemed it satisfactory. 

You sat on the corner of Minato's bed as he picked up the same hair dryer once more, in the same ritual that only felt different now. His fingers didn't shake at all, and he waved around the hair dryer with ease. Eventually, your hair was dry and your last excuse to see him was gone. You watched him set the hair dryer back into his bedside drawer, frozen in your spot.

Mechanically, you stood and looked to the door. You'd leave at this point, shutting off the lights and wandering to your room to slide into bed and fall asleep, dreaming of a future you'd never come to see. And normally that'd be fine, but tomorrow was Nyx and tomorrow was the day you had been putting off for so long you almost forgot it'd come.

You walked to the door, turned off the lights, and turned around instead, stubbornly crawling into his bed and shuffling over to the very side. "Turn off the lamp," you sniffled indignantly, as if this was a normal occasion and he was ruining your sleep with his dawdling. To his credit, he didn't seem to have any complaints, shutting off the lamp and crawling in beside you. You had been facing away, but now your curiosity overtook you and you flipped onto your other side.

It was dark, but you could see he faced you through virtue of the slight gap between the curtains and his window, which let in a small slant of light and illuminated the room. The moment would've felt a lot more intimate, but the weight of the world settled in the small space between you and him. That, and the two of you had never made a big deal out of skinship. But it would've been nice if your chief concern had been the fact that you were now roommates (oh my god, you were roommates) and not your impending doom. 

"I think I'll move to Tokyo. For university," you explained, as if any justification was needed. "And...there are some people I want to meet there in the future. What do you think?"

"That sounds good."

"And I don't know too much about which universities in Tokyo are good, besides Geidai from Blue Period. Do you know any?"

He closed his eyes for a moment, as if thinking. "University of Tokyo."

"Then I'll apply for sure." Beyond just those exchanges, you pressed on further. "What about housing? Of course I won't be able to afford anything big, but in the future, once I've saved up enough... How does an apartment sound? I don't think I need an actual house."

"That's fine." Emboldened by his affirmation, you shuffled closer, eyes meeting the clarity in his. 

"Is one bedroom enough? Or is that too crowded for us?" 

He, bless his soul, didn't comment on how you switched from me to us. "Two. One for guests."

"In that case, let's get one with two bathrooms as well." He nodded, and you felt your spirit soar and sink in equal measure. "Do you want to get any pets? I'm thinking a cat or a dog, just to stick with the classics."

"Then a dog, so Koromaru has a friend." You nodded fiercely, completely agreeing with him.

"How about one with the eyebrows? You know, the little spots—"

"Tan points."

"—yes, tan points! Those little things." You smiled to yourself. "I want a Shiba Inu like Koromaru, but I don't think they're very good with other dogs."

Minato nodded. "But Koromaru is."

"Hehe. We can always count on Koromaru to be the better dog." In the midst of your daydreaming of the future, you hesitantly reached out a hand to hold Minato's. He reciprocated, and you laced your fingers together, closing your eyes. "How about a black one? So the eyebrows show up even better."

"That works."

You nodded along, eyebrows furrowing as you realized you were dozing off. No, you couldn't let that happen, not so soon. "I'm not very good with decorating, though. Is Ikea fine with you?"

"I don't mind, if it makes you happy."

"It does make me happy. I'm sure they'll have an Ikea in Tokyo by then, and we can go steal the design in one of their rooms on display. And then we can have some of their meatballs. I think they have that horse meat scandal in 2013, but as long as we steer clear then, it'll be fine." Your thoughts drifted further, as you struggled to keep your vision of the future clear. "Let's get some succulents, and we can play Final Fantasy XV—hold on, when does that come out?"

He didn't answer, and you dimly realized he couldn't, because while you both shared the same knowledge of his fate yours extended far beyond 2010. Far beyond his death. You had the next two Persona games locked away in your memory, and the future of your world tucked in beside them. "2016," you mumbled, nodding to yourself. "It comes out in 2016. And Nier: Automata comes out after that... And the Nintendo Switch and..." 

"You'll get to play them in the future," he promised you, and your lips twisted. 

"I want to play them with you," you insisted. "I want to get that apartment with you and go on walks with the dog with you and I want to grow up with you."

"Sleep for now," came his quiet response, and though you wanted to protest, his hand was warm and the darkness behind your eyelids seemed to close in on you. "Goodnight."

"Goodnight," you mumbled in reply, before you allowed yourself one last bitter thought—Igor, you better make good on that promise. And then you slipped into sleep and towards a future without him.

Chapter Text

"Oh, so you wanted me to come along anyways." You sat in the middle of the crowd of Phantom Thieves in your apartment, at your coffee table in the living room, dressed in casual clothing. "Now I feel a little embarrassed demanding to come along."

Ann waved her hands in deference. "I'm sure anyone would ask for that in your situation! Besides, it is kind of unexpected, so I don't blame you for asking."

"Right?" The smile in your eyes faded near instantly. "So I hope you guys understand if I ask as to why." 

It was, admittedly, not really in your repertoire of social interactions to pull off what you had dubbed the "character in a manga suddenly turns cold in a very scary panel" act. But in this case it would be weird if you didn't pull a reversal of your usual friendly neighborhood big sister personality. This concerned more than just your pride; this concerned something you had hardly expected. Or maybe it'd be more accurate to say you didn't want to acknowledge, but had remained something you remained aware of.

"Why we want you to come to your own palace...?" Futaba began, scratching her head. "Well, it's a bit of a long story. How much do you want to hear?"

"Well, I'll eventually ask about everything, so..." You smiled again, but none of it appeared genuine. Looking scary could finally be added to your repertoire, you dimly thought. "...just a simple summary will suffice."

The Phantom Thieves exchanged looks. "I guess I should go," Ann said, nodding to herself. "Okay, so...um, to keep it super short; basically, we met your shadow and she said to bring you."

That was very short. "Okay, maybe we skipped a little too much." You sighed, pressing your fingers to your temples. "Tell me about how you even found out I have a palace in the first place?" The words still felt alien to you. A palace. Your palace. Perhaps years in the making, and judging from the calling card they passed on to you, one with a singular cause. 

"I can take over," Makoto said. Oh, good, they were delegating the role of exposition fairy around. Not that you could be moved from the chill that had frozen your heart and face in equal measure. "When we were over at your place after Futaba's palace and you stepped out for a call, we found a scrapbook of sorts."

You thought about it, and pressed your hand to your mouth. "Oh, I remember that now. You guys looked through that?"

"Yeah, it was all Ann's idea," Ryuji quickly said.

"What? Hey, it's not like you weren't interested either! Quit pushing all the blame on me!"

You sighed, shaking your head. "No, it's fine." You did rub your temple, trying to recall that specific day. "I left it there, so it's really not your fault. That being said, please do continue. What does the scrapbook have to do with—oh." Distinctly, you could recall the scrapbook was something personal. That was to say you had no qualms with writing whatever came to mind. That was, you directly name dropped everyone and everything towards the end of it.

"We, uh, saw an entry. I think the photograph was of your school? It was titled something like... Dark days are over, no more—"

"Dark Hours are over, no more Tartarus." You met Makoto's eyes, wry smile on your face. "Was that it?"

"Yes. That sounds about right." She nodded. "Futaba was asking about the MetaNav, so she had it open, and I guess we accidentally hit all the keywords, because it announced your palace."

You thought about it. "You know my name, I live in an apartment, and my cognition of the world is...Tartarus. Alright, I follow you there. So you just happened to coincidentally stumble upon this discovery."

"To be fair, none of us really expected it," Yusuke spoke up. "So that was why we left right away, to confirm its existence for ourselves."

You had been a little too stone-faced and cold-voiced, so you relented and smiled helplessly at them, dropping the scary act. "I know. I'm not mad or anything, it's just...surprising. And thank you guys, by the way, for sticking through with it. What happened afterwards?"

"Well..." Makoto cleared her throat. "We went in, got to the top of your palace, and met your shadow."

"And you said my shadow wanted me to come along?" Your hands cupped the mug you had temporarily stopped drinking out of, only to realize the tea had gone cold. You let go of the mug, looking away from your forlorn reflection in its surface.

"Yes. To be specific, she said that she wanted you to see your palace for yourself, and that you'd know what it meant. And to not bother looking for a route to the treasure, but that if we—as the Phantom Thieves—wanted a quick way up, then it'd be easier to just bring you along. And that you'd know why once we told you."

You did, in fact, have an inkling as to why. "It sounds like my shadow's pretty talkative."

"Not just pretty," Morgana insisted. "Really talkative. Makoto summarized it really well, but there was a lot of nuance, half of which I think we actually got."

"You know, that does sound like me." Your fingers tapped a rhythm along your mug. "Well, I'm still coming along, no doubt. I suppose the other obvious question is what the layout of my palace is."

"Oh, that's the easier part to explain." Futaba quickly perked up. "Your palace is this huge tower—which is really ironic considering the actual Tartarus from Greek mythology is the deepest part of the Underworld—and there's twenty-one floors total, the twenty-first being the rooftop. Every five floors matches with the layout of your SEES dormitory, I believe that's what it was, and the floors in-between are a mix of Gekkokan High School's layout and some weird dungeon crawling thing. Before every dorm floor is some sort of guardian shadow. Oh, and on the dorm floors there's always two people who match with members of SEES." Futaba grabbed her own glass of water and took a long chug. "Did I miss anything?"

"Your SEES cognitions have personas," Makoto added. "They're...pretty tough to fight."

"Oh, that's right." Yusuke nodded. "We tried the first two—the upperclassmen, though their names elude me—but they were so tough we decided to just avoid everyone else from SEES we came across. We did, however, have to fight one more member to get to the rooftop. The blonde one."

"Ah, you mean Aigis."

Yusuke made a noise of agreement. "Yes, that sounds familiar. It was then your shadow stopped the fight and we had the chance to talk to her. I don't suppose you'll offer further explanation for the personas?"

"It's...a long story." You kept it at that and moved on. "Well, it seems like you guys know a lot about me." You kept that same smile on your face, but something threatening lingered behind in your eyes. "In that case, my next question would be; how much do you know?" Yes, so what if you kept everyone at an arm's length away? So what if you confided in no one? You'd continue keeping yourself distant, your past shrouded behind layers and layers of walls you built between you and the Phantom Thieves. Only now, they threatened to shatter them and find the backstory you worked so hard to keep vague.

The Phantom Thieves exchanged glances once more. So they had been talking to each other in great lengths without you, to be able to come to a nonverbal agreement right in front of you. Good for them. "We got your school from your Wikipedia," Ryuji offered. "And then Futaba found information on the school and your club through, uh, you know. The web." Hacking.

You laughed a little, a little too stilted to be natural. "Oh, don't worry, I'm not going to report you guys or anything. Alright, so you found layouts of the school and the dormitory from Gekkokan's records. They kept a record of school clubs too, so that's how you know about SEES. Am I getting everything?"

"Yeah. We were able to match the people in your palace with people from your club." Ann looked a little apprehensive, but didn't they all? A herd of deer all caught in the headlights. "S-so we don't really know a lot, to be honest, and it wasn't like we wanted to look up any more than we had to... Because this is something we'd rather hear from you, so..."

"Is that so?" You paid little attention to her last few words. "I understand. I just have one more question in that case. How did you guys write the calling card?" Despair. Atonement. There was no way your shadow would admit to what the both of you knew, and there was no way it was that obvious to them, who had never even met Minato for themselves.

Finally, it was Akira's turn to bear the torch. "We put it together. There was one member of SEES we didn't see in your palace, whose student records we found specifically. The shadows of the members of SEES talked among themselves about him. And then your shadow implied a few things. Altogether, we came to the same conclusion." 

"And Yamagishi also said something about how she was glad you had cheered up after someone's funeral, so..." Ann quickly raised her hands once she realized she had name dropped. "I mean, she didn't say who or anything! It just sort of fit together once we thought about it. Please don't be mad at her for that."

"Not to mention... I don't know if you remember, but that time after you delivered the calling card you said that we were similar," Futaba quickly added on. "And obviously we were right out of my palace, so it was easy to spot the same signs in yours. Is that all?"

"That's all." Each and every question you had was cleanly addressed, and not for the first time, you felt embarrassed. It was as if all of you, skeletons in the closet and dirty laundry, had been brought out and aired before them. And while they didn't know everything, hardly anything close to the full truth, they all knew enough. The looks of pity in their eyes said as much.

You didn't care if people felt pity for you or not. You didn't crave it, nor did you abhor it. But from them, it felt like you didn't deserve it. You had been through a lot, true, but not as much as other people. The parents that had made you an orphan you never knew in this lifetime. The toils of working through a school year fighting shadows and fighting a god had been greatly alleviated by your companions. And your dead boyfriend had plenty of people mourning his death, not to mention you weren't the dead one yourself. 

But they looked sad for your sake. And some part of you liked it, liked having your pain acknowledged, but the greater part of you was terrified. This was your problem, your burden, and with the way things were, it would be forcibly taken from you just a few hours later. Luckily, you had plenty of practice in ignoring the problem.

"Okay. Why don't we just get to the palace now?"

"Are you sure?" They looked worried for your sake. They really shouldn't have been.

"Yeah, let's just get this over with." A smile. That was all you had to offer. "I've given you enough trouble with this already."

Ann shook her head. "It really isn't any trouble! We're friends, so of course we'd try to help with this." 

Friends. "In that case, I should thank you guys. Anyways, I won't have to get dressed or anything, if my hunch is right."

After reassuring them one more time you were fine and had gotten enough sleep to lead them around your palace, Akira finally opened his phone and transported you all into your palace. You had expected it, but the sight still took your breath away and made your heart pound in conditioned nervousness all the same.

Looming above in the sky was a hideous tower, constructed from multiple structures jammed into one singular pillar, raising high into the sky where a large green moon hung in the sky. Tartarus. You didn't spend too much time looking, the sight long having been burned into your vision years and years ago.

You took your first few steps, casually walking into the tower as the Phantom Thieves rushed to follow you. "W-wait, shouldn't you stay behind—"

"Oh, don't worry," you told them, entering the first floor. Sure enough, Futaba had been right; just what you immediately saw was already a strange mix of Tartarus's floors blending in with Gekkokan High. Wandering around were shambling shadow students in porcelain masks, crossing between the tiled floors of Gekkokan and the distinctly familiar Block 1 floor. "I'm assuming you guys had a lot of trouble with these shadows? There are an awful lot."

"Yes, so that's why you should—"

Just to prove your theory, you quickly stepped out next to one of the shadow students. Before one of the Phantom Thieves could pull you back, the shadow quickly jumped back and fled from your presence, the other nearby shadows following. Wherever you walked, the shadows would run away from, and soon enough you located the stairs while the Phantom Thieves trailed behind you in wide eyed disbelief.

"How—" Ryuji began, looking between you, the stairs, and the empty hallways, clear of shadows. 

"It's...a bit of a long story." For a moment, you considered telling them everything. It would make sense to, considering they had seen so much already. "Anyways, let's move on. You said there's twenty-one floors? It shouldn't take that long."

"Wait, wait." Ann tugged on your sleeve. "So they just...run away from you? Why? And don't say it's a long story again. You said that earlier, for the personas as well. I'm not going to force you to tell us everything, but...don't you think we should know at least a little?"

A little. There was no easy way to explain everything without getting into the whole of it. "Are you sure you want to know?" you asked instead, your little way of dragging the topic on. You really didn't expect every single person behind you to solemnly nod and voice their agreements.

"Of course we want to know," Ann continued. Behind you, the stairs to the second floor beckoned. It'd be simple to say no and move on, but the Phantom Thieves looked at you with pleading eyes. Not that you were horribly moved, having a heart made of stone, but the act still gave you pause nonetheless. "I mean, we are friends, aren't we? If it's too personal, you don't have to share, but..."

"...but because we're your friends, we want to share any burden you have," Makoto continued.

"Yeah! What they said! And 'sides, it's not like we know that much anyways, only the bare minimum. If you really don't like it, then we're not gonna force you for anythin'." 

You threw one more look their way, before turning around to ascend the stairs. "You called us friends?" you lightly called, taking each step carefully, slowly. You didn't need to turn around to see if they were following you or not. With how far they had gone, just for you and your palace, you knew they'd be right behind you. Really, though, you had yet to decide if that was a good or bad thing. 

"We are, aren't we?" Futaba asked, voice ringing from just a few steps below yours. "Or did you change your mind?"

"What is there to change?" you dismissively asked, reaching the second floor a little out of breath. The staircase felt far longer than the ones you had to ascend in the real Tartarus, but those had been the days where you were in the prime of your life, when you had the people you loved walking right besides you. "I mean, do we even count as friends? What's my favorite color, or my go-to milk tea order? What's my greatest fear? You don't even know who this palace is for in the first place. You don't know anything about him." For some reason, it was that part that they looked sort of...wronged? Guilty? Like they were acknowledging it wasn't true, which was a ridiculous thought you didn't know how you had arrived at. They shouldn't have known anything about him, just that he had died and left you with a ton of baggage.

The Phantom Thieves were staggered across the staircase, grim and hesitant looks on their faces. You realized a little too late your face had returned to the same stone-cold scary expression you had tried to wipe off earlier, so you turned away sharply. "See?" you said, but there was nothing sarcastic or mocking in your tone. It was only resigned, as if you had already expected this sort of tepid response. "Don't worry. If you'd like, feel free to leave my palace. I'll figure it out myself."

"Well, since we're the Phantom Thieves, we're still going to steal your heart no matter what," Makoto insisted. "Of course we're not going to leave you like this."

"Why not?" You tilted your head to the side, meeting Makoto's eyes for a moment. "You do realize you all know nothing about me, right? What can you even do?" You could see them wince before you turned back. Good. Pushing the people who cared about you away was always the right move in this sort of scenario. You couldn't bear letting them work themselves silly trying to resolve a palace that wasn't even part of the main storyline, and you couldn't bear letting them into your heart. So it was about time they realized how horrible you were, underneath the pretty façade of an adult. 

You expected them to leave, seeing as they had nothing else to say. Instead, you heard more footsteps, and someone else's voice. "It's true we don't know anything about you, but that's because you don't tell us anything." Akira's voice was steadfast. "So tell us. Don't carry this by yourself."

When you turned around, it was to argue with him. Spit out a few more sharp words, drive the rest of them off, and go home to dream of the same dead boyfriend. But instead the thorns lodged themselves in your throat once Akira's eyes met yours, and he held eye contact. "What can you even do?" you repeated, but the words had long since lost its venom, and like a defanged snake you froze in place. 

"For starters, we can figure it out together." Makoto had since lost that stunned look on her face, and slowly approached you, as if walking towards a wounded animal. "Will you tell us about everything?"

The last spirit of dissension seemed to finally leave your body, and you sighed, covering your eyes with your palm for a moment. "Fine, you guys win. I don't have any energy to argue anymore." They all looked at each other with wide eyes once more, as if they couldn't believe they had won you over, and you snorted. "What, why the surprised looks?"

"Oh, no, it's just...it's nothing!" Ann quickly explained. "But, please, tell us."

"Alright. Come with me. You said there's twenty-one floors? We'll have plenty of time along the way." Sure enough, once you took your first few steps they followed with you, falling into step beside you instead of in front of you, shooting the occasional look in your direction. "And I'm sorry, too, for lashing out like that."

This time, it was Yusuke who spoke. "To be perfectly honest, we expected that."

"...you did?"

"Er...yes. We are prying rather deep into your past. And although we don't have a whole picture of the situation, it doesn't change the fact you lost someone close to you." So a bunch of teenagers could be a lot more understanding than a good many adults you knew. Nothing new, but it still made something in your heart equally warm as it did cold. 

"In that case, I really do owe you guys a backstory, huh?" You took a deep breath, and just like that, your third best kept secret came tumbling out. "I think the best thing to start with was what SEES stood for: specialized extracurricular execution squad. We specialized in using personas to take out shadows."

"Personas. Personas? You guys used personas?" Ryuji was the first to crack and stop straight in his tracks, his hands half thrown out as if he was trying to make a grand gesture. "For real? So all the people we saw with personas actually...had one? And we're not the only ones?"

"Wasn't it obvious?" Futaba asked. Ryuji shook his head.

"Uh...no? I just thought they were there to, I dunno, guard the floors or whatever!"

Before they could get into a squabble and interrupt your monologue, you dove right back into speaking. "All the members of SEES had a persona. Including Ken, the eleven-year-old, Koromaru, the dog, and...me." Saying it out loud really did feel like a weight off your chest. For so long you had kept it hidden, and one part of you had wished for a more climactic moment to reveal it, but this would have to do. 

"But then..." You led them up the next set of stairs as Futaba continued speaking. "So you guys were another group... That doesn't explain this Tartarus, or why you had the personas in the first place. Was there a reason behind yours? If we figure it out, that might explain why we, the Phantom Thieves, have ours."

"I don't have that kind of answer for you," you replied. "But I can tell you why we had ours and what happened. As SEES, we were tasked with clearing the shadows in Tartarus floor by floor, until we reached the top. Tartarus, then, was a giant tower that took over Gekkokan High during the dark hour, a twenty-fifth hour that happened after midnight every day. During the dark hour, shadows would roam around, and those without personas became...coffins, basically."

"Tartarus..." Ann was quick on the uptake. "Wait, so you're saying your palace is—"

"—is the same Tartarus as the one from my days in SEES, yes. With the added addition of Gekkokan and the Iwatodai dorms." Another set of stairs passed under your feet. "The reason why the shadows run from me is because once we reached the top of Tartarus, we were all much more powerful than the shadows. Think of it like...leveling up, and once you're past a certain threshold mobs won't bother approaching you."

"Makes sense." Futaba nodded. "And you don't have your persona now, because of this palace. But who did you have?"

"Chang'e, Chinese goddess of the moon." With every truth you offered up, the smaller the walls around you felt. "If there's time, I'll tell you guys about her. For now, you guys should focus on taking care of the floor boss."

"Roger that!" At least they were energetic. It took a bit of effort on their part, but they cleared it out soon enough, and you led them up the stairs and into the first floor of Iwatodai dorms.

The sight was nostalgic. The place was lit with warm lights, and at the couches in the very front by the entrance sat Mitsuru and Akihiko, speaking to each other as they flipped through their respective choices of literature. "We should go hide," Ann said. 

"What do you have to fear?" you replied, and before she could respond, you walked up to the senpai and waved. "Hey, I'm back."

They set down their things, turning to greet you with twin smiles. They were a perfect match to their high school selves, with the only change being their yellow irises betraying their perfect guise. "Welcome back. Weren't you with Minato?"

"I stepped out for some air," you replied, lying to them easy as could be. "By the way, I brought some friends." You beckoned for the Phantom Thieves to step forward, and they cautiously did, no doubt remembering their last ass-kicking. 

"Wow, you sure are popular." Of course, now that you were here no fight was necessary. "Alright, we won't hold you back for much longer."

"Thanks. I'll see you guys later!" you waved again, before walking down the hall and to the staircase. Behind you, your ragtag team broke into a sprint to follow behind you, casting doubtful glances behind them once in a while. "See? That's probably what my shadow meant."

"That really worked," Ann managed, eyes wide before she quickly reverted back to her bright grin. "Anyways! You owe us the whole story. Since you guys were a persona group as well, there's got to be some more you haven't told us yet, right?"

"Good instincts." You nodded at her words. "I was a second year at the time, transferring into Gekkokan. I had to live at the dorms, of course, because my parents had long since been dead—don't look at me like that, you already knew about this—and on the train ride there, I met someone. Arisato Minato, though you might know him as the one who died. When we arrived, the sky was this eerie shade of green..."

You spoke and spoke, describing your escapades as briefly as you could, without missing the key details. At the second floor of the Iwatodai dorms were Ken and Koromaru, who were both just as surprised and happy to see you and your posse of teens. Before reaching the third floor, you had eventually reached your juicy little confession to Minato and how the two of you had been dating up until his death.

They obviously understood the implications behind that. It wasn't a close friend whose death you mourned, but that of a significant other's. Ann's face paled exceptionally so. "Are you telling me," she stammered, "that time in Madarame's palace, when I asked about your boyfriend..."

"Hm? Oh! Yes, I was talking about him." Ann cupped a hand to her mouth in horror.

"Oh my god. I'm so sorry, I really shouldn't have—"

"You didn't know," you gently told her. "And in your defense, I didn't think I'd ever tell you."

"Even so..." You shook your head.

"Come on, none of that. I've already had six years to make peace with it, so..." Thankfully, no one pointed out the irony in your words. Why would you have a palace dedicated to his death if you had already made peace with his death? It was a sweet, unbelievable lie you fed to her, but out of courtesy she swallowed it down anyways.

You had your fair share of issues you still needed to work through, but it felt nice telling them about someone so important to you. The silly little martyr had left nothing behind but his profound impact on others, which was impactful in its own way, but it just didn't feel enough to you. Up ahead, you entered the third floor of the Iwatodai dormitory, catching a glimpse of Fuuka and Shinjiro.

"Welcome back," Fuuka said, once you stepped into her range of sight. Shinjiro grunted in affirmation, and even though you knew you could talk to them any time, the sight of them burned nostalgia right into your mind. High school was ages away, a time you never thought you'd be able to revisit now.

Behind you, Ryuji tapped your shoulder. "Hey, you okay?"

This was all in the past. You needed to acknowledge that everything you saw was something cooked up by your mind in representation of your greatest regrets—but you didn't want to. "I'm fine," you replied steadily, maintaining your eye contact with Fuuka and Shinjiro. "Let's...move on."

Chapter Text

If a gun were held to your head and you were asked for the best-worst day of your life, you wouldn't need even half a second to name the date. The vividness of the memory would put even the most rose-tinged recollections of memory experts to shame, and the lasting poignancy you could still feel the impact of to this day.

Of course, you were talking about the confession. The confession. The kind of thing that would take a couple volumes of a shoujo manga to hype up for, that thing. It began a little something like this:

The September days were cold. Nothing you couldn't handle by clinging onto your friends, who were decidedly less enthusiastic about casual skinship, but still put up with you anyways. Fuuka and Yukari took on the greatest burden of keeping you warm and alive, and when you forgot to bring a scarf they'd donate theirs with a sigh and a helpless smile. "If you can't handle the cold, you should bundle up more," Yukari said, after having tightly wound her scarf around your neck. 

"I'm not cold," you replied, shoulders shaking. "That's why I'm wearing a skirt. Because I want to prove how warm I am, not because of the uniform."

There wasn't anything Yukari could do about school regulations, unfortunately. "Let's just get back to the dorm soon," Fuuka suggested, taking your hands in hers. It was rather cold out, but her cheeks flushed a warm red. "I'll, uh, help with your hands."

"Okay!" You didn't see anything wrong with that. Your hands were getting awfully cold, and Fuuka always had warm hands despite the stubborn chill clinging onto the breeze. "Thanks, Fuuka. I'd have all my fingers falling off if it weren't for you."

"You're exaggerating..." Still, she clung onto your hands tightly. "You know, if you're really that cold I'm sure it'll be fine to bring an extra jacket, just in case."

Indignantly, you replied, "But I have to stay fashionable! Also, I don't like wearing a jacket on top of a blazer jacket."

"Then we should just run and hope that warms you up," Yukari sarcastically replied. 

"That's a good idea!" You gently disentangled your fingers from Fuuka's and stood up straight, stretching out your back. "I bet it's nice and toasty inside the dorm. Let's go!" Before they could protest, you broke off into a sprint, leaving them no choice but to pick up the pace behind you.

You stumbled into Iwatodai dorms gasping for breath, greeted by the coziness of the indoor warmth. Fuuka and Yukari entered afterwards, and the three of you shambled towards the couch, slumping over as Akihiko curiously peered at the three of you.

"Did you run all the way back?" he asked, and you could only reply with an earnest nod, taking a few more deep breaths. "It shouldn't be that bad. Should we work on cardio over the weekend?"

You raised a hand in response, a clear no. Exercising was fine, but not when it was with Akihiko. Before you could explicitly let him know, someone passed you a glass of water. You quickly chugged that down instead, letting out a satisfied sigh before passing it back to that very person. Once you saw his face, you greeted him with pleasant surprise. "Minato! Thanks for the water."

He nodded as if to say no problem, passing two more glasses to Fuuka and Yukari, who accepted gratefully. "I'm never doing that again," Yukari gasped. "I mean, how'd you get lost on the same route back to the dorm?"

"In my defense, all the buildings sort of blur together when you run as fast as I do." You scooted over so Minato could take a seat if he so chose to. He did indeed, and internally you counted it as a victory for yourself. "Sorry, guys."

Fuuka set her glass down on the table, patting her cheeks a little. "It's fine! I guess we did need the exercise anyways."

"No, we really didn't." Yukari stood up, picking up Fuuka's empty glass from the table before turning to Minato. "Here, I'll take them to the sink. But next time, please, just let us lead the way."

"You just need to be more adventurous!" you called towards Yukari's retreating figure, before turning expectantly towards Minato. "How has your day been? It's been forever—"

"Three hours!" Yukari called from the kitchen.

"Nearly forever," you amended, "since I last saw you. Have you been eating well?"

With the solemnity of someone well-accustomed to following along on your jokes, he nodded. "I have."

"That's incredible. I think you got taller, even."

"Not that tall in the first place," Junpei commented, passing by.

Akihiko shook his head. "You're not that much better either, Iori." 

"It must have been hard on you," you continued, paying little mind to people around you in favor of pulling off a dashing performance. "Not being able to see me for so long."

"It was."

"That's right, it—" Your mouth snapped shut as you stared at him incredulously. "Oh my god, who paid you for lip service?" You pressed your lips firmly together, trying to keep the stupid smile from spreading onto your face.

Yukari returned just as Minato said, "No one did. I missed you." She stopped, eyes wide, just as Fuuka looked half as flustered as you were and Akihiko twice as surprised.

You were mature. You were a lot more than a silly little crush. Saying that, you buried your face in your hands, peeking out of the cracks between your fingers to cautiously look Minato's way. "Are we having a bonding moment? Is this a bonding moment?"

"I just remembered I have, uh, something to do," Akihiko declared to the group, before quickly getting to his feet. 

"Oh, me too!" Yukari exclaimed, jumping to hers and grabbing ahold of Fuuka. "You guys, um, enjoy your time together! Why don't you go and get some ramen or something before the shop closes—" 

In an impressive show of telepathy, Yukari locked eyes with Fuuka and the latter quickly nodded. "That's right, so go ahead and, um, have fun!" They ran off with Akihiko in tow, and you dropped the hands from your face, staring at them in mild shock. 

"Did we just get ditched?" It was, however, getting late and you knew for a fact if you hurried, you could walk all the way to the strip mall before Hagakure closed. "...are you hungry? I'll pay this time."

He nodded, and you jumped to your feet as well, double checking your wallet one last time. "Okay, I'm all set! And I'm all full of energy too, let's run!" That was, of course, a terrible decision on your part and you regretted overestimating your capabilities very much. Minato had no problem, but he was good at anything he set his mind to, and you really didn't make a habit of running around with Akihiko as much as you probably should've.

By the time you reached the ramen place, he had to half pull you up the stairs while you insisted you could walk on your own. You couldn't, and the both of you knew that. All of your exhaustion went away after a nice warm meal you forcefully paid the bill for, and when you walked outside and breathed in the chilly night air, you made your third mistake of the day.

"Why don't we run back?" Luckily, the third time was the charm and you were strongly vetoed before you could even run off, by way of his fingers tightly hooking into the collar of your uniform, preventing you from something you'd undoubtedly regret. But was that not youth, making terrible decisions in the heat of the moment? "Fine, fine, we'll walk."

You were well accustomed to making conversation where there was none, and Minato had always been receptive to your brand of rambling. "I was thinking about Hunter x Hunter again. You read Shounen Jump, right?" Nod. "Oh my gosh, where is the story at now? Chimera Ant Arc?"

"Junpei says Netero and Meruem are fighting," he helpfully supplied. 

Ah, yes, that part. "So Junpei's the one reading? Wait, when I was borrowing your copy, was that actually his?" Another nod. "I'll keep that in mind for the future," you gravely replied. "That being said, I'm personal friends with Togashi, so if there's anything you want to know about what's going to happen after his hiatus..." A big fat lie, but it had been months and you hadn't breathed a word about Apple or Amazon stocks, not even investing in Bitcoin. Some spoilers for your favorite person in the world was nothing.

"It's fine," he said. "I don't need to know."

"Not even a little bit?" you pressed on. "I'm best friends with Oda, if you want to know about One Piece, or even Hideaki if you're interested in Gintama, which I promise is a real upcoming classic. Or Naruto. I don't even need to tell you about how willing Kishimoto is to tell me stuff that took him fifteen years to write."

"It's really fine," he insisted, and you wanted to take his hands in yours and ask, do you really not care? Or is it because you know you won't be alive to see it come to fruition? 

"Okay," you said. "You have integrity. I won't spoil anything, so you have to—you have to enjoy the issues when they come out. Because they will."

"Alright." With a sinking heart, even to his gentle affirmation, you realized most of the standout Shounen Jump issues would be completed after 2009. After 2010 too, for good measure. "In that case, my friend whom you may not have heard of, Akutami Gege, is thinking of writing a manga. I have a feeling it won't be out for a while, so would you like to hear a little?"

He nodded once more, and you nodded along with him. "So there's this guy, and I shit you not, he becomes a Jujutsu sorcerer. And he turns himself into a vessel of this demon called Sukuna, funniest shit I've ever seen. And that's not even the start of it..." You discussed at length the plot of a shounen manga you knew wouldn't come out until 2018, far, far in the future. 

Eventually, you arrived back at the dorm, greeted by the same three people who had suddenly made an excuse to leave. They had been sitting around the couches, and quickly turned to see you walking in. "Did you have fun?" Yukari asked, as you approached her. 

"I had fun," you replied with a confident nod. 

"Oh, good. Junpei said you'd enjoy your date." 

"What he—what he means is that Junpei said you'd enjoy your outing!" Fuuka quickly interjected. 

Yukari shook her head with a classic Yukari sigh paired along with it. "Don't worry, Fuuka, I think they're used to it by now. That being said...was it a date?"

"A date? Haha. Ha. No? Yes?" You played both sides, so you could always come out on top, and in this case it meant rapidly flipping between the potentially romantic and platonic side of your relationship. "What do you think, Minato? Did I seduce you with my knowledge of shounen mangas?"

"You did."

"That's right, I—" For the second time that day, your mouth snapped shut and you peered at him suspiciously. "I did?"

"Get a room," Junpei called, passing by once more. Koromaru barked up at him. "See? Koro-chan agrees."

"I, um. I'm going to. I'm going to get something to—" That was right, Koromaru was there! "Koro-chan, how about we go for a walk? Let's go for a walk. In fact, let's go for a run."

Yukari and Junpei, despite their disagreements, groaned in unison. "Please, no more running," Yukari said, before she aimed a weird look at Junpei. "What do you even have to complain about?"

"Hello? You're not the only one subject to her random running sprees!"

"Oops." You shrugged them off. "Well, good thing Koro-chan loves running just like me!"

"You hate it," Fuuka helpfully added. Not very helpfully, but she sounded very sweet while saying it, which was the part you actually took to heart.

"Only when I'm done," you honestly said, before half-jogging over to Koromaru. "Okay, let's go! Anyone else want to come with me?"

And you really should've expected it, given the mood of the room, when everyone raised their hands and pointed at Minato. "Take him with you," Yukari said, a true wingman at heart. 

So maybe you had been running away from him, but the thought of going on a walk with him overpowered any thoughts of how awkward you could be when someone hinted at your feelings. "Want to come with?" you asked, as if you hadn't just been more painfully obvious than a fourth grader. 

"Sure," he said, as he always did. Always agreeing to everything you asked for. You didn't think he was passive for it or anything, but it was a little disheartening on your side. You wished he'd ask something from you for just once, at the very least.

But the night was early, and you had a dog to walk. "In that case, I'll get changed first!" you said, rushing upstairs as he did the same, except with a lot more grace and patience than you had. You sifted through your clothes for something cute, but not too try hard, like you were simply a paragon of fashion without having to think about it. He stepped out wearing a sweater and one of his many expensive-looking jackets, and together you descended the stairs like a pair of normal friends going out for a normal walk.

Just as soon as you entered the dorm, you left, waving enthusiastically at your friends as if you were a celebrity and they your loyal fans. Koromaru walked just a little ahead of you, and without thinking you fell into the same footsteps of Minato. It had been a little hard to follow with his strides at first, but then they miraculously slowed down, and you smiled up at him.

"Thanks." Ahead of you, Koromaru barked as well. What a good, talkative boy. You stopped in your tracks to rub your fingers all over his fur in appreciation, before continuing your slow march to the shrine. Once you arrived Koromaru excitedly ran in circles, digging for fun in the sandbox. You took the chance to take a seat at one of the raised concrete structures, and Minato took a seat besides you, watching Koromaru silently alongside you.

Above your head, the moon shone bright. Not quite full yet, it hung round and heavy in the sky. Its light bathed the park in a soft whiteness, and you kicked your foot absentmindedly, eyes falling back to Koromaru. "Is it boring, always being with me?" you honestly asked, feeling a little bad for him after working through what had just happened. "I realized we're always put together by the others."

He shook his head. "It's not. I want to be with you."

"You want to be with—" you swallowed. "Oh, you mean hanging out. Haha. I like being with you too!" Maybe it was the effect of being alone with him at night, silence punctuated with nothing but Koromaru's jingling collar and occasional bark, which made you suddenly want to spill your guts to him. "Sorry. I know I'm not exactly...subtle sometimes."

"About what?"

You held your hands out, inching your shoulders up in a shrug you hoped came off as nonchalant. "About the whole...you know. Me and you thing."

"And what thing is that?" His eyes were sharp, you realized belatedly even as yours felt glazed over, drunk on honesty. He knew perfectly well, and he was still asking. 

"The—you know? The thing." You made a vague hand gesture that hardly meant what you were thinking. 

"Enlighten me." Shining, his eyes were shining. Was he having fun at your expensive, flipping around his character designation so casually? So he could be talkative when it came to feeding his own ego on your crush, how interesting.

"You know what I mean! The whole thing I have—" You stopped in your tracks suddenly, eyes drawn away to the side as you fixated on the jungle gym encased in moonlight. You had enough self control to stop yourself, and enough self awareness to understand the ramifications for a seemingly simple confession.

One of you was going to die. This wasn't even the simple does-he-like-me sort of thing anyone else would think of, but something far transcending such worries. Would he be guilty? Would he be sad? More importantly, this kind of thing, did you want to burden him with it? Feelings were heavy, heavy things, and they'd strike against each other like rocks in your chest, crumbling and crumbling until your whole body felt stifled.

I don't want him to be guilty. I don't want him to be sad. You gave him a pitiful looking expression, not quite in tears but a close approximation. "Do you really want to know?"

He understood, then, the sort of dilemma you had. That playful look in his eyes whittled away to nothing, and even Koromaru temporarily stopped digging around. "You don't have to tell me."

You wanted to. You really wanted to, because the two of you were mature to the point where if he didn't reciprocate it'd be back to normal. And someone who didn't at least feel some bit of affection towards you wouldn't goad you on anyways, so was it really unrequited in the end? Not really.

You might regret it. You might wish you had taken the exit he so gracefully gifted to you. You might look back in the future, and have a heartfelt sigh of regret, before moving on. And maybe you wouldn't. 

"Minato," you softly called, and as you faced him directly you took his hands in yours, holding them tightly. "I love you. More than a friend, more than a best friend. More than a best best friend. Is there any other platonic title you might mistake this for?"

"None at all."

"Okay." You closed your eyes, for a moment, hiding away the grief in your heart. Once you opened them, you could give him your heartfelt declaration. "And if you don't feel the same way, I'll be your friend, your best friend, your best best friend. What do you think?"

He squeezed your hands back. "I love you too," he replied.

"Really." It couldn't quite come out as a question considering you had practically known all along, but it still felt surprising nonetheless. "I would have said this to Yukari and not me," you told him, "but I'm really happy you like me too. Koro-chan, too, right?"

He barked in affirmation, before he trotted up to you and barked once more. He then turned tail and slowly walked out of the park. "Wait, Koromaru—"

He barked again, this time waiting at the entrance to the shrine, turning around to face the street. You stared incredulously at him, and then back at Minato. "Is he...giving us privacy? Oh my god."

"Seems like it." You quickly went right back to the important matter at mind, which had just set in and completely wiped the calm expression off your face.

"You like like me? Back? I mean, maybe I kind of expected it—but me? Really?" You squeezed his hands tighter. "Are we dating now? Can I say the thing? 'Ugh, fine, I guess you are my little pogchamp, come here'." You stretched out your arms and wiggled them for good measure, to which he accepted your hug. You felt the beating of his heart, slow and methodical, proof he was alive. 

You wanted to cry, but you weren't sure if it would be from happiness or sadness. "You should tell me right now if you're not looking for a relationship," you mumbled into his shoulder. "Are you?"

"Only with you," he replied, and you peeled yourself off him reluctantly. 

"I love"—you almost wished the world could end before you finished your sentence, so you wouldn't have to experience the pain of being left behind—"you. I love you." You refused to regret this. It was as if saying your thoughts out loud had magnified the feelings tenfold in you, because you swore at this moment you'd keep him in your heart forever and ever. If only the world had ended then, at the peak of your feelings. If only.

He smiled, and the brilliance of it took your breath away. He didn't speak, only letting his hand brush your hair behind your ear and gently cup your cheek. He held his hand there, as if asking for permission, and slowly you nodded. 

Good for you, having a first kiss as bitter as it was sweet.

"Okay," you mumbled, after pulling away. "Let's go back before Koro-chan gets bored." You got to your feet and stumbled immediately, legs feeling like jelly. Minato quickly caught ahold of your arm, gently helping you up as you wobbled and stomped your feet in an attempt to get used to standing. 

The cold didn't help either. You shivered a little, and in an instant Minato had pulled off his jacket to drape over you. "You sly bastard," you couldn't help but mutter, playfully smacking his shoulder. "Pulling off all the moves on me." 

"I just like you that much." Together, hand in hand, you walked back to the dorms. You didn't reveal anything about your sudden dating, thinking it'd be much funnier if you casually dropped it weeks later. And just like that, you experienced for yourself what some people waited decades to find. 

That night, you experienced the second half of your best-worst day. When you opened your eyes, it wasn't to the darkness of a dreamless sleep nor your ceiling, but a rather a large swath of dark blue. You turned your head this way and that, looking for something that wasn't such a deep color, but you came up woefully empty.

"Welcome," said a familiar voice up ahead and you turned to see the one and only master of the Velvet Room, Igor. You took one last look around the place, face expressionless as you slowly walked towards him and took a seat. "You must be wondering why you're here."

The place you never thought you'd be able to visit. Behind Igor stood Elizabeth, who smiled and tilted her head a little at your attention. The sides of the elevator carriage were cushioned in blue velvet, the furniture to the side covered in white cloth. "I didn't suddenly become a wild card, right?"

"Nothing of the sort." The elevator felt too quiet, without the familiar background music. "But you must be wondering why you're here."

"Among other things." You had enough of curiously looking around the place, returning your steady gaze to Igor. You wouldn't be scared. You wouldn't be moved. You didn't exactly have home-field advantage, but in these sorts of situations it was just a lot cooler being unfazed. "You don't mind if I ask?"

"Go ahead," Igor replied, lifting a hand with his palm up. "Temporary you may be, but a guest is still a guest. So long as there is an answer, I will provide it for you."

That caught your attention. "I'm not a wild card now, but is there—is there any chance I could be one?"

"No." He was blunt, at least. 

"Then is it possible if I become the one who becomes the seal—"

He shook his head, and before you could desperately pull up more questions, he leveled you with a look. "I apologize for not getting that out of the way first. Our proper guest has already signed an agreement."

I chooseth this fate of mine own free will. That only made you feel more horrified. "Are you saying if I signed, or if I stopped him, I could've..."

"Impossible." Igor's smile appeared to deepen. "You already know this, do you not, our guest from another world? He didn't bind his contract with us when you were there. It was before that."

"You're talking about the New Game Plus," you muttered.

"Yes, that is how you refer to it. Signing his name now was merely a show of acknowledgement, nothing more."

The little hope you had nurtured all this time fell flat as you desperately tried to revive it. "There...there has to be some other way. I don't care what I have to give up, as long as he doesn't—"

"I would end your thoughts there," warned Igor. "There are some things I'm afraid are unachievable. Your...companion has understood his fate all this time. There is no other way to resolve this."

"There has to be." You shook you head incredulously, nervous smile on your face. "I mean, he can't be stuck sealing Nyx away forever. There has to be some sort of alternative. Right?"

Neither Igor nor Elizabeth responded to your question, and slowly you deflated, smile sinking as you turned your gaze to the floor. More blue. You were almost going to be sick of it, at this point. Blue, blue, everything as far as the eye could see was blue. You had never really hated the color, but now it represented a sick, twisted fate none could run from. A contract signed unknowingly, a god to fight, the attendant and her master, both smiling as if there was some inevitable secret you weren't in on.

If there was nothing you could do, then you'd take whatever you could get. "In that case, promise me," you quickly said, jerking your head up to meet Igor's eyes, "that once this all over, you'll let me see him."

You held his gaze steadily, even when you really wanted to pull off his nose to whack him with. "That much is possible," he said, twisting his outstretched hand towards you casually, as if holding some pretty little thing in his palm to present to you. "Very well. Your request has been accepted."

It was a good thing, having Igor agree to your selfish demand, but it didn't feel like a victory. If anything, you'd rather have been able to see him with your own power—but you weren't a wildcard, a proper guest of the Velvet Room, or someone more than normal. So you could only dip your head and keep this demand in your heart, as your final bastion of hope.

"You know I'm not from here," you began once again, once the heavy feeling in your throat had subsided. "Are you not going to...do anything?"

"There's nothing that needs to be done. Even if it were something like changing fate, there is nothing you can do once the wheel of destiny has begun rolling. You may be the rock in the path, but you cannot stop it from reaching its destination." 

You opened your mouth in protest, before realizing his metaphor completely fit. You were the hiccup in the road, but nothing you did had any ultimate meaning. Becoming his new love interest? Befriending the others? Someone was still going to submit to what was basically death in the future. "Is there nothing I can do...?"

You felt like Igor was being kind to you in that moment. "You can do as you see fit. There is nothing you can do about the end destination, but what occurs on the road there is up to your discretion."

"Okay." You weren't completely satisfied, but if there was even something you could do, you'd grasp tightly onto that opportunity. "Thanks for your permission, I guess. That makes us partners in crime, so we have a working relationship now. Expect me to trouble you again in the future." He raised an eyebrow, but you powered forwards. "That being said, why am I here? You have a reason, don't you?"

"Yes indeed. There is something that must occur, but your circumstances are...unique, so I have called you here to witness it." He nodded once, and from behind him Elizabeth opened up her book. The persona compendium, was it? But instead of a persona Minato had collected and inscribed in the pages came out one more familiar to you.

A beautiful starry-blue hanfu, hair all neat and tidy in a bun, and an overall inconspicuous appearance. "Vega," you called, and she floated there, in the space above Igor. And then she began pulsing, a glowing light emanating from her body as it engulfed her entire being, hiding her from sight. When the light died down, something else had replaced your persona.

Gone was the starry pattern, replaced by shining white and light blue in a fancier, more formal getup, but still traditional nonetheless. Around her shoulders rested the same floating, heavenly cloth all deities carried, and her hair was half up in a low bun, the rest flowing down her back. But perhaps the most striking thing about your new persona were her ball-socket joints and ceramic face, exquisite at a glance but delicate paint the next. A giant doll, following with the mechanical appearance of the other personas, but not quite. An outlier.

"Congratulations," Igor said, but you weren't sure if this was anything to be happy about. "Your Vega has now become Chang'e."

You swallowed any words you had and turned to look towards her, her eyes closed and unmoving. She was beautiful, but you knew very well the story behind her, and suddenly you wished you had Vega once more, who at least had the virtue of being able to reunite with her loved one.

"Nice to meet you, Chang'e," you quietly said. "And nice to meet you too, Igor, Elizabeth."

"Likewise." Igor waved his hand, and Chang'e dissolved away. "Until we meet again."

When you woke up, it was to the sight of Minato's back, slightly hunched over as he diligently wrote into a notebook, likely taking notes or doing homework. You looked down to realize he had tucked you in while you dozed off, and with a yawn you set your head back down to watch him.

You wished you could lie there forever, if it meant these quiet moments could continue. "You know, I just had a dream," you quietly directed towards his back. That was as far as you'd go, making slight implications at the Velvet Room but never naming it. "In it, Vega evolved into a new persona called Chang'e."

He paused in his writing for a moment, before he stood up and walked to your side. You obligingly scooted over so he could take a seat beside you. "Tell me about her."

And what could you say? Oh, she's doomed to be separated from her lover on the moon, just like us. Isn't that funny? Isn't that cruel? Do you think Igor's trying to tell us something here, that maybe we should've kept this to ourselves and kept our feelings to ourselves and gone on dancing around this delicate line of will-they-won't-they?

Ah, you really couldn't bear the thought of losing him. But he had asked a question, and you weren't so keen on dropping the innocent pretense the both of you kept up towards the future, so you smiled up at him as if nothing was wrong. "Well, it starts with this archer called Hou Yi, who had shot down nine suns..."

Chapter Text

From the floors between Iwatodai dorm's third and fourth floors, you gave a brief summary on your last battle, and the months following. It was a little sad you could fit in months of preparation and anguish into a few sentences, as if every struggle and obstacle you had painstaking moved past in those days meant little at all in the future.

"Mitsuru took care of the body," you said, thinking back to that day on the rooftop. It had been bright, but the sun wasn't overpowering. Like the world had deigned to give its hero one last beautiful sight before passing on. "And we had the funeral a few weeks later."

The Phantom Thieves were quiet, but you expected such a response. This was, after all, the death of someone who had inadvertently saved their lives. And even if they didn't know him personally, you did, and they didn't want to hurt you with their words. "Wow," Ann began, voice incredulous and soft all the same. "I never knew..."

"It's not common knowledge," you gently replied, peeking around the corner of a wall to check for the staircase. "I mean, why would any of us broadcast this? We know. That's enough."

"And now we know too," Makoto said. "Thank you. Really. I'm sure it wasn't easy to tell us." The rest replied the same way, in their own words, and you could only stare helplessly at their professions of goodwill, even after you had tried to drive them off.

"I did owe you an explanation," you steadily replied. "And I think that's everything."

"Well, actually," Ryuji began, "there's something we were curious about—"

"Ryuji!" Morgana half-shouted.

"What? Don't tell me you guys aren't too!"

"There's probably a better time to ask!" Ann quickly added. Makoto looked at you cautiously, gauging your expression.

"Please, uh, ignore him. It's nothing."

Well. When it came to them, it rarely was nothing. "Oh, no, go ahead," you said, stopping and leaning in towards Ryuji. "I'm getting really curious, actually. What is it?"

Catching sight of all the stares being lobbied his way, Ryuji gulped and shook his head. "I mean, it's, uh, really nothing..."

"No, I insist. I did just pour out all my feelings. So the least you guys can do is reciprocate, right?" You smiled bright and wide, completely invested in this secret they wanted to keep from you.

They all exchanged another look, nodding and shaking their heads and frowning. Crossing your arms, you waited at the side as they passed a series of expressive gestures at one another. A moment later, they all stared at Akira, who slowly returned each look and then nodded slowly.

"To be honest, we didn't make it to the top all by ourselves," Ann slowly began, before pointedly looking at Akira.

"There was someone else, but he didn't say his name." Akira held out his hand, marking out a relatively tall height beside him. "He had the school uniform, blue eyes, and slicked back hair."

Oh. Oh. You only knew one blue eyed male Gekkokan student you were close to. 

"He had the scarf you wore on our friend date." And that was how he knew to question you on that specifically. Everything was all coming together now, in the most infuriating way.

You could accept SEES being in your palace. You could accept your own shadow, but that was a given. But Ryoji? Ryoji Mochizuki, who hadn't shown hide nor hair since you stepped foot into your palace yourself? "That is Ryoji," you said, making a fist only half playfully. "And if what you're saying is true, where is he?"

"He only appeared during the floors between the dorms," Yusuke offered. "I suppose with you we no longer have need for his guidance. Furthermore, you said Ryoji? As in the Avatar of Nyx?"

"That's the one." You looked around now, as if that would make his flakey ass show up. "And if he knows what's good for him, he'll come out right now before I kick his ass for the second time."

Nothing. You really didn't expect it, but it still stung a little. Not your problem, you'd figure it out later. With a sigh, you continued your journey up the tower and to the rooftop. "Just...tell me about him?"'

They all looked at you again, with that same mix of sympathy and pity. It would probably take them a while to figure out how to talk to you again, and even longer to stop walking on eggshells. That was the problem with breaking the status quo, you thought, after a tasty little mental breakdown. It'd be impossible to go back to the way things were now that they knew that much more about you.

At first, they spoke hesitantly. Ryoji had appeared after their horrible struggle past the first dorm floor, mysterious as ever, lantern in hand. They had been suspicious, but he offered his help and claimed to be a friend of yours, so they had reluctantly listened to him and ascended your shadow's tower together.

"What did he even say about me?" you asked, casually pushing open the door to one of the classrooms in your search. Good things, you hoped.

They looked a little hesitant to answer. A little sad too, and you could only sigh through your nose quietly, Ryoji's face rising unbidden to your mind. His memory always carried with it the bittersweetness only your high school days could evoke, in its keen sharpness. Ryoji, charismatic to every girl but the kindest to Minato. Your precious love rival, whose fate you too were unable to change.

"He...thanked us," came Yusuke's voice. "For trying to steal your heart. He said that you had carried your burden for too long, and he was glad you had people you could rely on."

"That sounds like him. He's only serious when you're not listening." Your cognition of him was, at least, but no one would say that to you. Best to pretend this was the real one, when in fact it was just your palace conjuring up his kindness one last time. For a moment you turned away, wiping away the wetness from your eyes, before you turned back with your hands on your hips. "Alright, enough moping from me! Let's go meet Yukari and Junpei. And then the rooftop and my shadow await."

You walked up the stairs and into the warmth of Iwatodai dorm's fourth floor, where Yukari and Junpei stood around chatting to each other, before they looked up to greet you. 

As you knew them currently, they had grown up and their faces had sharpened and mature. Seeing them now felt almost like a punch to the gut, with how young they looked. Unlike Fuuka, their hair hadn't changed much, but the simple act of seeing them as a carbon-copy of the people from your rosy memories gave you pause.

They were still the same people. Yukari and Junpei, young or old, were your dearest friends. Dear, but you couldn't bring yourself to tell them the worries and weights that had plagued your mind. "Yukari." you called. "Junpei."

"Oh, hey. What's up?" You, too, were a different person. Older, different hair, clearly distinguishable from the person you once were all but mentally. And they still looked at you the same, as their high school friend come back from school. That was how you were certain this was all a concoction of your mind. "Who're they, your friends?"

You stepped aside as the Phantom Thieves awkwardly nodded or waved. "Yep, from a different school. Is Minato here?"

"He's on the roof," said Junpei, before leering. "Look at you lovebirds, can't even be apart for one day." Even that was the same as in your youth. The current Junpei would give you a sad look, but be too hesitant to talk about how Minato was dead. That was the other problem, that your former boyfriend was no longer there in present day. 

"Yeah," you said, and wasn't that the truth. "I really miss him. But right now I have to introduce him to my friends. I'll see you guys?"

"You know it! Give him a big fat kiss while you're at it too." Junpei cackled well-meaningly, and Yukari smacked him and told you to ignore him. Just the normal shenanigans, and for once you could almost delude yourself into thinking you were in high school again. The Phantom Thieves behind you, however, put an end to that quickly.

You waved goodbye one last time, before pulling the Phantom Thieves with you to the very top of Tartarus. The more floors you ascended the more nervous your teammates looked, and right before the last floor you faced them curiously, as they shuffled around. "What's wrong?"

"It's just..." Ann, once again, became the group spokesperson. "Are you sure it's fine? Last time we were here your blonde friend was really strong... And we don't know if your shadow will be there to stop her one more time too..."

Of course it was Aigis. "Don't worry about that. You don't need my shadow if you have me!" To prove your point, you bounded up the stairs as fast as you could, which seemed to stretch on for twice as long as the ones beforehand. Your fast pace gradually slowed down as you walked step by step, the Phantom Thieves trailing behind you like a couple of ducklings. At the very top, surrounded by darkness, you could see the door to the rooftop. And in front of it stood Aigis, an imposing guard dog.

"Aigis," you gently called, as you walked up the final few steps to reach her side. 

"You're back." She nodded in acknowledgement, movements smooth. Were it not for her mechanical parts peeking out of her uniform, it'd be nigh impossible to recognize her as a robot from presentation alone. "I have been waiting for you."

She, alone, stood at the door to the rooftop. You instinctively understood this as graduation day, where she had been waiting at the doorway for you to show up. Kindness, that's what it was. She loved him just as dearly as you did, but gladly made way for you to be the one to see him one last time, waiting at the doorway. And for that you loved Aigis, with every part of your bruised and battered heart. "Thank you for waiting here. And for being my friend."

"Of course." You smiled at her, eyes soft.

"So now I'm here to relive you of your duty. Thank you for guarding all this time, but... I think I'm ready to go see him now." She guarded the final walls keeping your greatest regret hidden away. There was no way you really were ready to confront your shadow, but in this situation you had no choice. Were you by yourself, you'd turn away and continue having Aigis stand watch for an eternity, but there was nowhere left to walk but up.

"...I comprehend. I will go back to the others." Aigis looked at you with a small smile, before she finally walked down the stairs, sparing no glance at your companions. She disappeared into the dark, leaving you alone with the Phantom Thieves and the door to the rooftop.

There were no words that needed to be exchanged. You took a deep breath and turned to the door, hand lightly pressing against its surface. Nowhere left but up. Nowhere left to run. 

Before you could regret it, you pushed the door open and let the sunlight stream in, bathing your face in its warm glow.

It was like the day he had died. The petals of the cherry blossoms floated all the way up to the rooftop, and a gentle breeze pushed past your face, brushing at your cheeks with cool fingers. The rooftop was devoid of people, picturesque as it was, and in the distance the wind turbines turned and turned. Eternity contained within a moment, immortalized in your memory.

And at the bench in the middle, with her back turned to you, was your shadow. You knew without having to see her face it was you, from the shoulders, hair, and uniform. She was dressed just as you had the day he died, and without her turning around she spoke in your voice, still with the tremor of a child. "So you're here."

"I'm here," you replied, steeling your heart. 

In her arms lay someone achingly familiar, head on her lap. You couldn't see his face, but you knew just as certainly as you did with your shadow who that was. Your shadow slowly brushed her hand through his hair as the other held onto his hand. If you didn't know any better, you'd have thought it to be just a normal couple showing off how close they were.

"And with friends," she commented, back still turned. "Though I wouldn't expect anything else. What was it Ryoji said? 'Does it not worry you, that the only people you're willing to confide in'—"

"—'are figments of your imagination," you continued. "I know."

"If you knew you'd understand this is not their issue to be worried about." Though you couldn't see her face, you were certain her features were contorted into an ugly sneer, just as her voice sounded like it was seething with hatred. "Aren't you embarrassed? Fully grown, but you still need a bunch of children holding your hand."

"H-hey!" Ryuji quickly called out in self-defense. 

"What, am I wrong?" Your shadow showed no signs of moving, but she certainly sounded like she was on the verge of getting up to spit in your face. 

You held up a hand for Ryuji. "Don't worry about it," you told him. "This is nothing."

"Putting on a brave face? Now you want to act like an adult?" Even with the self-hatred in her tone, your shadow never ceased her gentle stroking, hands still steady and back still straight. "If you understand anything at all, you'd turn around and leave right now. This burden is ours to carry, and even if your back breaks from its weight I expect you to die crumpled up and alone. This is our repentance."

Repentance. What a familiar word. Your mouth opened a little, and before anyone could grab your arm you stepped forward towards your shadow. "You're...the Minato from my dreams, right?"

"What gave it away? My sharp tongue? My harsh words?" You stepped closer to her, unable to stop. "Yes, so what? I am thou, thou art I. Everything I say to you is something you've already told yourself. So go ahead and fuck off somewhere else."

"I made you this way," you breathed. None of her words seemed to hit you, considering she was absolutely right—you had heard this all before, in ten, twenty, hundreds of different ways towards yourself. You understood everything she said and why she said it—this crystal clear clarity towards yourself felt like the heaven and earth parting before you. "I made you."

"I'm you," she spit back. "Everything you never wanted to acknowledge, everything you knew but never outright said, I'm all the worst parts of you."

"And you're still me." Such fierce words from her mouth, and yet she cradled Minato like a child with a doll. Unable to let go, unwilling to loosen her grip. She cradled him so lightly, as if he'd shatter with one wrong movement, but couldn't acknowledge he had long since died. You couldn't acknowledge he had died, but even that wasn't really it, no, not really. "Ah. Ah. It's my fault. That's what I thought, didn't I?"

"You still think so. I still think so." You stepped closer still, until the Phantom Thieves were a distant memory and all you could see was the back of your shadow. "We are nowhere near close to done serving our sentence. So, my dear self, I would advise you turn back and leave now."

Another step. You could see, now, Minato's peaceful face sitting in your shadow's lap. A small smile graced his lips, and his complexion was still vivid, as if he was sleeping as opposed to dead. But he was, and in reality he had been cremated after the others arrived on the rooftop, out of breath, a little too late for their final goodbye. 

Ah, ah, ah. Your head hurt, but you ignored the ringing in your ears in favor of the shadow in front of you. "There's a reason why you're here. There's a reason why there's a palace. Guilt, wasn't it, survivor's guilt or was it—"

The sharp ringing in your ears only increased, and your knees buckled below you as you clutched at your head. Distantly, you could hear someone calling your name, but instead you forced yourself to look up. Your shadow had since turned around, still holding Minato tightly, but now you could meet eye to eye with your own face.

It was like looking into a mirror six years ago. Your features were still young, but the only difference now were your shadow's cold yellow eyes, filled with loathing and distaste. For you, maybe. For yourself. And even in the midst of the sharp pain in your head and the inability of your legs to hold yourself up, you found your calm center of the storm in the eyes of your shadow. You saw yourself reflected in them. Did you always look like that? So tired, so weary, so ready to lay down your burden.

"I loved him," you said, as if she didn't know. "And I always knew what was going to happen. So I... So I told myself it was my fault." You pulled at your shadow's uniform jacket, almost like a child tugging at her mother's sleeve. "Isn't that it? We were so focused on mourning for him to make up for everything that we forgot he—"

"Shut up!" hissed your shadow, and suddenly the pressure on your back increased and you collapsed on the floor, just like the fight with Nyx that one day, where you and the rest of SEES had been pushed down and made to watch the one you loved be taken away. "Do you think you know anything? So what if you think you're starting to be introspective? That doesn't erase any of this!" She turned to the Phantom Thieves then, pulling from your own holster your evoker which she held up and pointed the muzzle at the group. "So you bunch care about her, is that it? Trying to repay her for whatever forsaken reason? I won't let you. Try all you want, but if you want her back? You'll have to fight me for that."

And then she raised the muzzle to her head and pulled the trigger, eyes closing for a moment. "Chang'e, come out!"

What burst forth was Chang'e, but not quite. She was still beautiful, with her ball socket joints and porcelain limbs, but she hump limply from the strings of a marionette controller hoisted high up in the sky. What moved her was not her own will, but the strings attached to her, jerking her limbs this way and that.

Akira nodded at the others, and just like that the Phantom Thieves quickly got into formation, lining up in a group of four to face your shadow. She hardly moved from her spot, likely unwilling to leave behind Minato even in a battle. "How nostalgic," she said, "seeing this. Reminds me of when I was in your position. Of course, that just means I know exactly how to deal with you." With a wave of her hand, Chang'e struck first, blowing a heavy physical strike across the four standing against her.

Akira and the rest braced themselves against your shadow's onslaught of moves as she continued healing herself to full with Diarahan. Dimly, you still had it in you to be snarky; what kind of palace boss was this overpowered? Ridiculous. You were nowhere near this powerful in reality, able to keep up with four other persona users. But this was your shadow, fueled from your self-loathing and guilt over the years. 

She was speaking to the others, receiving responses you couldn't quite strain your ears to hear. Your shadow was beside you, so you could hear her mocking voice the clearest: "Look at you," she purred, in a tone more venomous than any snake baring its fangs, "Kurusu Akira. Minato saved the world through self-sacrifice and Yuu saved his town by solving a series of murders, and then there's you, unable to be trusted by anyone but the outcasts of society. You'd best turn back, wild card. There's nothing here for you."

"No thanks," he bluntly replied. "I don't think those are your true feelings."

She scoffed, as in unsure what to say in her disbelief. "How are they not? I'm a manifestation of all of her deepest thoughts, the worst parts of her. Would you rather I be harsher? Minato was unsurpassable in intellect. Yuu was a paragon of charisma. You will never match up to them."

"Because he's not them," you hissed. "He doesn't need to emulate them. Are you so entrenched in self hatred you'd turn on someone trying to help?"

"I'm helping you, don't get it wrong." So insistent. "So stay out of it." With those words the momentarily relief from the ringing in your ears and pounding in your head ceased, and you dipped out of the present once more.

Ah, how useless you were, even against yourself. Your shadow was a mess, but she was confident and lashed back with all the fury of an injured child. Above all, she gladly took every hit, shielding the person in her arms with a desperate look in her eyes. From your position on the floor, looking up at her, you could see just how flawed she—you—were. Protecting such a deadly desire with your own life. How silly, but you couldn't find it in you to disparage her. You were the same.

You and I, we're the same. Still, you took a second glance. So why is it you look so trapped? Slowly but surely, she was being pushed to her limits. There were multiple phantom thieves and only one of her. No matter how much home field advantage she carried, at the end of the day you were still such a person, one who had to yield in the face of overwhelming oppression.

It was then that Akira lunged forward, knife in hand, towards Minato. In a hurry, your shadow quickly wrapped her arms around him, only for Akira to change directions and knock the evoker from her hand instead. It scuttled across the floor landing just beside you, and in one instant you understood what he meant for you to do.

With all your strength, you snatched the evoker from the floor and pressed it to the side of your head. "Persona," you called, and pulled the trigger. In an instantly your body felt like it burned up, and you crawled to your feet in the midst of the burning-hot pain, gritting your teeth. And then you heard a voice echoing in the air, speaking in your ears.

"Have you wallowed in your sorrows long enough? Will you continue to drown yourself in your grief until there is nothing left of you?"

You knew who this was. "Chang'e?"

"Yes, it is I. Do not fear, for I will always be with you. This is our contract. I am thou, thou art I... The world has moved on—and henceforth, you shall too. Come, show the universe you have one more journey to live!" Her words echoed, and even though you still hadn't fully sorted out your thoughts, understood just what was wrong about your palace, you knew you had no path to walk but this one.

"...I will. Thank you, Chang'e. Come on, me, let's settle this." Your hand touched the smooth porcelain mask on your face, and without a second thought you yanked it from your face, feeling the warmth of blood pour down your face. From your back sprouted forth Chang'e, but she was no longer burdened by the strings attached to her limbs. Her doll-like appearance had disappeared, leaving in its wake someone looking far more human than mechanical—a sign you had moved past the aesthetics of Persona 3. Around her head rang a halo of light, illuminating her gentle eyes. 

In comparison, the Chang'e your shadow wielded looked pathetic. Hoisted on her piano strings, pulled along by no one's will but your shadow's selfish ones. Your shadow, too, gritted her teeth and readied herself for a battle she knew she'd lose. You didn't have the willpower of a shounen protagonist, but even your meagre will was enough to overpower your shadow. "Hamaon," you whispered, and watched as the light faded from your shadow's eyes.

In the aftermath of your face off, Chang'e slowly faded away as you and the Phantom Thieves regrouped and stood in front of her. They didn't say anything, but you didn't need them to. Any celebration would come after you had evacuated. Your shadow, however, clutched tightly at the body in her arms, unwilling to part with her treasure.

"You can't!" she cried, holding him tighter. "You can't! Not him, anything but him..." 

That was you, every part of you that you never wanted to see. So desperately clinging onto someone no longer walking among the living. "We won. You know what that means."

She shook her head, eyes wet with tears, body rigid. "That doesn't mean anything. You still haven't accepted any of this."

To yourself, you kneeled down, meeting eye to eye with her and not the person she tightly held in her arms. "Maybe I haven't, but they have." You angled your head back at your companions, each and every one of them looking at you and your shadow with some sport of hesitant, pitying expression. "You know exactly what this entails. You're me, after all."

"Yeah, I'm you." She still had it in her to speak venomously, each word dripping with contempt. "It's your fault I exist. It's your fault this exists. If you were only normal, if you were only able to understand the truth better—would I still exist if not for that? Why couldn't your cognition have been different? I can't even talk to him, only hold him and pray he'll wake up. But he never will. You made it like that." 

"I'd have done anything for him to open his eyes again. You know that." She still held him tightly, eyes shutting as if that would block out your voice. "And...I won't be back to your idea of normal. Not for a while. But stealing this distorted desire of mine is the first step, right?"

"You don't believe that," she spat. "None of it. You just don't know what to do, confronted with the truth. This isn't the first time we've met. You remember me from Inaba, don't you? Second time you've come face to face with me, but you still don't know what to say. Pathetic."

You were starting to feel tremors at your legs, nothing alarming yet, but still tremors nonetheless. "The palace—" Ann called, and your shadow scowled up at you.

"Since you've taken back Chang'e, this place can't exist anymore. Aren't you happy? You won't have to see me again." Though her eyes were still wet with tears, they met your own with no problem. "You should get out of here before the whole thing collapses and you die."

"Of course we're still gonna take the treasure first," Ryuji quickly chimed in. "...right?"

"We are. I think so." Ann hesitated. "Aren't we?"

"I'm fairly certain we should," Makoto insisted.

"We will," Akira said, ending the chain of unsure answers for once. "Sorry." 

He didn't sound sorry at all, but that was how he was, nothing you could do about it. You turned towards your shadow, shrugging empathetically. "You heard him." Truthfully, you knew everything your shadow spat at you was true, in the same way you knew why exactly this palace existed—but didn't want to admit you knew. You always did this, running away from the problems that mattered in an attempt to forget its existence. And you suffered for that.

"You can't," your shadow said, shaking her head furiously. "You can't, you absolutely can't. I need to—we need to stay this way. We have to." The tables had now turned, and she tugged at your sleeve, eyes wide and glossy. "If we stop mourning for him, if we move on from his death, that means—that means we never loved him in the first place."

Ah. All those years, all those dreams, had they really cultivated into this one phrase. "Is he so selfish?" you asked, gently. Perhaps it'd be easy to mistake your words for a rhetorical question, but you meant it genuinely. He had never been that kind of person, but confronted with your worst thoughts, even you had your doubts. 

"No, but I am. We are. You are." Your shadow looked down at the person in her arms, face softening into a peaceful expression, colored vividly by her sorrow. It didn't change her harsh tone of voice, but you expected that wouldn't change for a very long time. "I know he's gone. I know he's not coming back. And I know it wasn't really my fault, but it feels like it. So if I keep suffering in his stead it feels like I'm making up for it."

It was Futaba who spoke, breaking into the heavy silence. "But it doesn't work that way. You can't keep beating yourself up to try to atone for something that happened so long ago. I know because...we're the same. Weren't you the one who told me that?" She said this to the both of you, and though the two of you represented two different halves of the same whole, you still responded the same. 

Your shadow spoke first, and maybe it was a good thing neither of you could ever be mean to Futaba. "Then you should understand why I can't. I'm her shadow, aren't I?" Her laugh was low and self-deprecating, eyes sunken to the floor. "Everyone says it's not my fault, but I want it to be. It should be. I have to—this is something I need to carry with me for the rest of my life."

"It doesn't have to be," Ann quietly murmured. "Because it's...it's not true!"

"Yeah!" Ryuji quickly agreed. "I mean—I'm not tryin' to undermine your feelings or anythin', but it just..." He scratched his head, having lost the right words to say. You couldn't really blame him.

You knew what the right thing to say would be. It was easier, telling it to someone else and not making the acknowledgement in your mind. You could see your shadow as someone else; she was you, in your heart, but in the moment it was easy to pretend she was someone you merely had strong insight into.

You could tell her what you'd tell any friend in the same situation. "You're right," you told her, keeping your voice even. Not quite for her sake but for yours, lest you lose your composure. "I don't completely believe any of this myself, but...I know that ceasing to mourn him doesn't mean we never loved him in the first place. No one is expected to be sad forever over the same person, because moving on is a natural process that takes however long you need, not like our artificial prolonging."

She laughed a little, bitter and harsh. "So you think you're a dispenser of wisdom now?"

"Maybe a little bit." You smiled at her, with a tilt of your head. "Better than having nothing at all to say, right? No one ever said this was going to be easy, and it's not as if I particularly feel strongly about this. But I do know that what we've done these past six years isn't healthy. I'm not saying we have to love ourselves or forget about him. But we should take a step forward, if not for ourselves than for him, until we're strong enough to want to improve on our own will."

She looked at you, and you looked back at yourself, your reflection in those yellow eyes. Whatever she saw reflected back in her own eyes seemed to give her pause, as she looked down at the person in her arms. And then, slowly, she outstretched her hands and unhooked the headphones hanging around his neck, dropping them into your hands.

"It'll be faster if you leave with just these," she said. "Don't worry, this still counts as the treasure. The least you can do is give me one last moment with him, even if he's just your cognition."

"Alright." You got to your feet slowly, holding the headphones to your chest. "Thank you."

She didn't speak anymore, only waving you off before turning her gaze to the wind turbines in the distance, which continued spinning lazily even as the rooftop shook and began slowly falling apart. She might've been stuck in the moment where he died, but you weren't confined to such a time, and quickly you turned away from your shadow and to the people who had accompanied you all this way. Your friends.

"Let's go before this place completely breaks down!" you called, and they had no qualms with that. Together, you filed down the stairs. This time, the dungeon floors were missing, leaving only Iwatodai dorm's floors to run through. They were vacated of your cognitions, and it was only at ground floor where you realized why. They crowded around the dinner table, eating together. 

Perhaps you could've left it at that, but even among the rubble slowly collapsing, you stopped and shouted one last word, waving all the while. "Bye!"

They all called back the same, laughing and chatting as if you'd see them tomorrow, as Akira grabbed your arm and pulled you out the entrance. It was only a split second, but in the moment before you were dragged out the building, you could see a young man in a yellow scarf standing in the very back, half shrouded in darkness, one hand raised in a farewell. Ryoji. But not all farewells were equal, and before you could utter a word, the din of the dorm disappeared into the greenish color of the metaverse.

And then, before your eyes, the tower in the place of your apartment building slowly collapsed into itself, its hideous mechanical appearance melting away into what your apartment really was, a simple building. In your hands was still the headphones your shadow had given you and you held it up, taking a closer look.

It really did look like the real thing, down to the scuff marks at the edges of the mp3 player, despite how well he took care of his things. From beside you the Phantom Thieves let you have the moment to yourself, staring at the object in your hands. Eventually Akira walked a little closer, concern apparent in his eyes.

"Ready to go back?" Your palace no longer existed. And you knew it would be a while before you could fully change, even if your desires had been stolen. Akiyama could probably refer you to a therapist and you'd have to tell SEES about this. And Minato would never really come back, even if you changed for the better.

But you could deal with that. You had a new future to pursue now, one not following behind the Phantom Thieves but standing beside them. "I'm ready," you told him, and you meant every word of it.

Chapter Text

Lately, your days had been feeling very boring. You wondered if that was something all second years went through, when it really should've been something more for the third years. Your day by day lifestyle had melted into one monotonous schedule, but even as you hung out with your few friends and journeyed around the small island, it felt like you were holding your breath and waiting for something. Often, you'd have to exhale and force yourself to relax.

What was it you were waiting for so tensely? What had you dreading each day so subtly you almost couldn't recognize the feeling? What was it that gripped your chest when you sat in class and peered out the window towards the bright blue sky, or sat on the roof looking at the wind turbines in the distance?

Tatsumi Port Island could be pretty, mostly when you were sitting on the rooftop lost in a flight of fancy. But it felt so little like home sometimes you wondered if there was somewhere else you belonged. You had memories of the whole school year, but when you examined them closer they turned up as nothing. You had memories of living your whole life in Japan, but when you thought about it the whole thing felt like a farce. So you really were half convinced you were losing your mind, but there was no easy way to confess that. No one hired a therapist, walked in, and said, look, is it weird if I feel like the entire life I've lived up till now was false? Why is it that when I think deeply about my past all of it unravels at the seams?

At least there was Yukari. And Junpei. And Fuuka. The deep affection you felt for them couldn't be false, at the very least, even if your memories of them faded away like mist in the sunlight. When you held their hands and hugged them tight, despite how much more wary they were of physical contact, they never balked. And when you closed your eyes, you could feel their heartbeat and ascertain their presence. They were real. 

It was because of them you could pass by your days in such a daze, but still passing through nonetheless. It was a terrible experience, feeling like your own memories couldn't be trusted. Alienating for sure, and it made you very prone to dissociation; there was that same sense of dread tightening up your throat at moments and gnawing at your heart, but all of that was fine. You were fine. Even if these high school days felt like a very pleasant dream, in all their bright glory, you at the very least existed. You were someone. You touched people, who touched you in return, breathed life into your actions.

There was another transfer student too. You weren't very close with him, and as second years you, Yukari, Junpei, and Fuuka formed your own little band separate from him. Junpei still talked to him after class and Yukari would chat him up if they were together for an extended period of time. And he was very pretty and very smart, the top scorer in your grade to your great (but mostly feigned) anger. You weren't too bad either, but it was like he was on another level sometimes.

Arisato Minato had this distinct air to him, someone far out of anyone's league. Good at everything, with no bad angles and very nice features, so graceful even his loner personality only made him that much more desirable. And maybe you were exaggerating a little, and maybe you had a weird sort of crush on him—but you meant every compliment thrown at him.

There was that too. You had never really been involved with him in your memories, but there was a very distinct sort of feeling you had whenever you thought of him, and that feeling was one you were almost sure was love. Your idea of love anyways, because you had never really experienced something like that before. When you saw him, you knew that was someone you wanted to spend the rest of your life with, someone you'd lay down everything in your possession for, someone you'd follow to the depths of hell and back. That, too, was scary in its own right. You weren't even friends yet, only people familiar with one another living in the same dorm, so where had such feelings sprouted from?

"Spacing out again?" Yukari asked, as she continued pulling you along the street, towards your dorm. "What's on your mind?"

"Minato," you admitted. "Arisato? Arisato, I believe that's how I should be addressing him."

"Ah." Yukari was no stranger to your feelings, though you hadn't quite explained to her the depth of them yet. From your other side, Fuuka made an O with her mouth before nodding. "You still like him?"

"I'm pretty sure!" You didn't think you were obvious about it, but your friends were very quick to assure you otherwise. "Oh, don't look at me like that. I don't have any hopes at all of getting together, if that's what you're worried about." Yukari looked a little appalled at your words, Fuuka doubly so.

"That's not it," Fuuka quietly said, voice delicate as if approaching a sensitive topic. "It's just...you don't seem very close, so it is like one of those love at first sight things?"

You thought about it. Your first real memory had been waking up the first day of February, ready to head to school. You had been struggling with your ribbon as always, so you stumbled out of your room without it having been done. From the kitchen you grabbed a slice of toast, slathered it in jam, and meandered to the entrance of the dorm.

Standing there at the front entrance was someone you felt such a strong sense of recognition towards you balked when your memory informed you he was just another tenant of the dorms you occasionally greeted. There had to be more, seeing as your heart lurched this way and that as if unsure what to feel. When he saw you, his cool expression gave way to a brief, soft smile, and you understood in that moment what it meant to love. 

Was that it, was that love, in all its overwritten glory? You'd have died for him then and there, for some odd reason. You knew him, but you didn't, and that in itself made the feeling twist in your chest so strangely. He was so familiar, as if you had known him all your life and reunited in that moment, but the feeling faded away so fast you wondered if you imagined it, seeing his pretty face.

His eyes landed on the ribbon hanging around your neck. "Do you need help?" he asked, and you knew right away you could never say no to any request of his.

"Oh, please," you told him, and with deft fingers he reached out and neatly tied the ribbon around your neck. You didn't dare breathe during the entire process, only letting out a huge gasp once his fingers retracted and you didn't feel your heart bursting out of your ribcage anymore. There was that, the incessant beating of your heart, but somewhere within there was something almost sad. 

When you looked at him, you wanted to cry. But that was illogical, so you smiled and quickly finished your toast so you could talk more with him. "We're going to be late, aren't we?"

He was patient in waiting for you, but now that you were all done he started walking, looking back as if waiting for you to follow. "There's still time before the next skytrain."

You followed him diligently, keeping up a steady stream of polite chatter, indulging yourself in being able to talk to a pretty boy. He was strangely receptive to your words as well, replying more than you'd expect from someone whose whole personality seemed to be distant and cool. And sometimes, when your words faded into silence, you'd see the hints of a smile in his eyes when he looked at you.

Under such a gaze, who wouldn't fall in love? You arrived at school and split off to find Yukari and Fuuka, who had explained they really needed to get to class since you overslept and wouldn't wake but kind Minato was willing to wait for you. You thanked Minato dutifully, waved sweetly, and ignored the pounding in your chest. And that had been the last time you walked with him to or from school, considering Yukari and Fuuka always stuck by you since.

You ended your flashback there, tilting your head towards Yukari. "Remember that time you guys ditched me and Min—Arisato had to walk me to school? That time, I think. It was all of a sudden too, so...yes, it was love at first sight?"

The two were quiet. "I trust your feelings," Yukari said, "but you have to admit, doesn't it sound kind of..."

"Unrealistic?" You grinned at her and Fuuka, just to show there were no hard feelings. "Honestly, yes. But if you think of it as a simple crush, then maybe it was his face...?"

"That makes sense," Fuuka said. "He is really nice looking. N-not that I'm particularly moved by him, but..."

"No, exactly." You snapped your fingers. "You see him and you wonder how someone that perfect can exist. I bet he's never struggled in his life, all smooth sailing from birth onwards. He wants a subway footlong or something and God drops one down, with two cookies as freebies."

"That... Sure." Yukari learned not to question your analogies too much. "I mean, I guess? He's popular for a reason, but so are you. But if you're sure it's just a crush, then I guess it's fine."

You stopped in your tracks to clasp Yukari's hands in yours, as you so often did. She still flushed a little at the action, which always looked cute on her. "Are you worried about me? Thank you." You turned to Fuuka this time, raising your arms in a hug to envelop the both of them. "Both of you! You're such great friends, I don't know what I'd do without you guys."

They both smiled, a little relieved. "The same goes for us," Fuuka gently said. 

"Let's go back before it gets dark," Yukari helpfully suggested. "But...yeah. I agree."

Love. Wasn't that it? All sweet and bubbly and warm, a different tone than the kind you had for Minato, but love nonetheless. They were real. So were you. That was all there was to it.

In-between that existential crisis, you spent more time with the members of SEES. You trusted them with your life, despite not even having known each other for a full school year. That was probably how friendships worked. You were smart like that. Yukari in particular had a fond affection for shopping, and you liked Yukari, so you often followed her along.

There was one day you stopped by a bookstore at the Iwatodai strip mall. The old couple running the register looked a little familiar, but nothing really clicked for you. Yukari wasn't as interested, but you were strangely drawn to the place. "Do you have a bookmark?" you asked. There weren't really any books you wanted, so that was your compromise.

"Of course we do," said the old woman. She opened her drawer and dug around, fumbling through its contents, until she pulled out a handful of carefully wrapped wooden bookmarks. "Almost forgot about them."

You selected an elegant one, marked with the classic Japanese symbol of cherry blossoms. After paying for it, you stepped out with your prize in hand, holding it up to the sun to admire. Yukari moved from her spot leaning against the wall, walking to your side to look at the bookmark in hand.

"Are you reading anything?" she asked, and you shook your head, putting away that bookmark in your school bag. 

"Not really." 

"Oh. Then is there any reason you bought that?"

Try as you might, nothing came to mind. "I don't think so, honestly. I just...felt like I needed to." Humans were a messy pile of chemicals and biological processes. You didn't need to pinpoint the exact reason for anything, really, so you were content to let that bookmark sit around until you picked up a nice book or something. "Alright, now let's get you something!"

Yukari didn't object, and you spent the rest of the day eating away your worries and buying cute little matching trinkets. You forgot about the bookmark afterwards, because you weren't a bookworm and you weren't afraid of using the classic dog-ears for whatever you did read. 

In your idyllic, peaceful, normal-to-the-point-where-it-felt-heavily-unnatural high school days, there was another incident which stood out. It had rained one afternoon, and it was one of those rare days all your friends were too busy to walk with you back to the dorm. It'd be too embarrassing asking a random classmate to walk with you too, so you stood at the shoe lockers wondering if you should start running through the rain.

You were considering it when someone else came by, stopping beside you as you stared at the downpour. That person pulled out an umbrella, opened it, and stepped into the rain. When he turned back and you looked up, you were met with the unfortunate receptor of your affections, the one and only Arisato Minato. As beautiful as ever, with a gentle, beckoning expression that made you wanted to run out into the rain just to walk beside him.

Wow, what a crush. "Oh, hey!" you cheerfully called, to which he nodded. 

"Hey," he returned. He looked at you, standing under the eaves with no umbrella to call your own (because you didn't listen to Yukari when she warned you the weather report talked about a downpour) smiling amiably in his direction. He held out his umbrella a little to the side, making space for one more. "Do you want to walk back together?"

Did you ever. "Is that alright?" you asked, as you quickly rushed under the umbrella beside him, giving him no time to turn you down. "Thank you so much! I would've been totally drenched otherwise, and then get a horrible cold, and then Yukari would yell at me for not listening. But now I have you." You grinned at him to showcase your joy, all toothy and wide. 

"Of course." It sounded less curt than you'd expect, from someone rumored to be an ice king like him. For a moment, you were lost in the delusion of being in some sort of close relationship, but that quickly dissipated as you gained back your common sense. No dancing in the rain with him, unfortunately. 

You were content to walk in silence with him, because it felt almost natural, despite your usual tendency to fill up any blank space with chattering. But under the pattering rain and quiet splashing at your feet, something else came to mind unbidden, and before you knew it you had already blurted out the words. "Excuse me, have we met before? I don't remember really talking to you this school year, but..." He was looking at you, directly at you, but somehow it felt like his eyes were passing through your own to some sort of phantom behind you. Maybe you were just imaging things. "Or...not. Sorry for assuming."

He shook his head, a delicate movement that made you want to stare at him harder. "It's fine," he said, though he looked a little weary and distant. Behind his hand, he stifled a yawn. "You feel familiar too."

"I do?" you couldn't exactly disguise the excitement you felt. For some reason, you just couldn't hide anything in front of him. "That makes me happy to hear! Like we're meant to be, or something." When he didn't immediately react, you quickly amended your statement. "Meant to be friends, I mean."

"Friends." It felt a little strained, but then not at all. Gentle, airy, light, like a cloud that would slip through your fingers. "Yeah."

"I'm glad you think so too! Yukari says I make friends a little too easily, but I think we're just right." You continued speaking with him throughout the whole walk back. Just the same as the first time you spoke for a long time with him, he listened carefully to everything you said and when he did respond, responded with care. It felt like he was absorbing all your words and saving them for later. What sort of later? You just had no idea.

You were reluctant to finally reach the dorm, but as Hua Cheng said, all banquets came to an end. The full quote was actually all banquets come to an end, but I will never leave you, but you definitely had to leave Minato. He stood with you in the doorway of the dorm, shaking out his umbrella outside. 

Since he was so nice to walk you back and listen to you ramble about your favorite franchises, you had to reward his good deed. You thought about what sort of takeout you could offer to order for him while digging for your wallet in your bag, until your hands closed around something you had since forgotten about. 

You tapped on Minato's shoulder before holding out the bookmark. "Here you go, for walking me back! I bought this a while back, but I don't remember why I got it, and it's not like I need it so...that's your reward!" You half expected him to politely refuse, but instead he reached out and took the bookmark from your hand, eyes carefully looking over every detail.

"Thank you," he said, and that same gorgeous smile crossed his face briefly. "I'll treasure it."

I'll treasure that smile, holy shit. "I'm glad you like it! Anyways, I'll be upstairs. Holler if you need an extra pair of hands!" you bounded up the stairs and ran into your room, flopping onto your bed while grinning into your hands. Ah, young love. That same biting feeling came up in your chest, but you suppressed it. Hormonal imbalance or something, that was all it was. Were you forgetting something? Of course not.

Although, even after that your relationship didn't suddenly become intimate. You greeted him in the hallways and walked to the dorm with him, but there was always this sort of gap you felt between yourselves. It didn't really feel like him, who was always open to talk with you, gentle as can be. It felt more like your sort of problem, where every metaphorical hand you stretched out towards him retracted right away in fear of...something. Being hurt? Rejection, probably. What else was there deep in your psyche to hold you back? 

Senior year. If your feelings didn't magically dissipate after summer break you'd do something senior year. You had your whole life ahead of you, so what was a little more waiting?

Some days, when you drifted far enough away into your thoughts, it felt like you could see your future stretched out before you in a never ending lonely line. Graduate, get married, have kids, work until your pension was acquired. And what about after that? When you focused, that same future melted away before your eyes, dripping into an endless sea of darkness. 

And what about Minato? He remained a fixture of your high school days, a sort of idealized first love you might fondly think back on in the future, if nothing else. There was that same peculiar sense of deja vu running through you then, but you shook it off and waited for graduation day.

Mitsuru and Akihiko you would miss, but you had never been particularly close with either. You still had one more year of your high school life left before you'd be forced into adulthood just like everyone else, and you'd enjoy it to the brim. You wiggled a little in your seat as Mitsuru continued with her speech. Next year it would probably be Minato making the speech, considering he seemed the most president-y of the student council. 

Speaking of him, where was he? You discreetly looked around the room, but that head of blue hair didn't pop up anywhere. Weird. He was a good, studious kid, and wouldn't be skipping the graduation ceremony of all things for no reason.

No reason. A reason? There was one, you thought, coming to a stop. There was something in the back of your mind, scratching away at the door begging to be let out. Graduation day, one missing person, and the reason the past year of your life had felt so incomplete, all of these coalesced into a single desperate thought.

"Oh my god," you muttered to yourself, snapping out of your daze before leaping out of your chair. 

"Wh—hey, where are you going?" Yukari whisper-called.

"I have to go," you quickly told her, before breaking into a sprint. Behind you, Mitsuru lulled the audience back into the same quiet hush as before, no doubt making some excuse on your behalf. Bathroom break or something. You didn't care at all about that, instead bursting down the hallways with no regard for your limits, bounding up the flights of stairs until you came skidding to a stop at the door to the rooftop. Aigis, standing by, looked up.

"Oh, hello. I have been waiting for you." 

"Aigis," you managed to gasp out. "Is he there?"

"Yes. Feel free to go. I will wait here for the others." She stepped aside, not understanding she was relinquishing the last moments of the person she loved most to someone else. But you had the slightest feeling that even if she was aware, she would do the same. 

"Thank you," you told her, and you meant it completely. And then you stopped, hand at the doorknob, not sure if you were ready. You would never be completely ready, because even though you didn't want to think about it, this was the result of a year of fighting shadows and putting off your feelings. You had known this was the ending awaiting the two of you, but you pretended otherwise. 

But this was not your moment to mope. This was his. You patted down your uniform, pressed your hands to your cheeks, and for a moment all you did was take deep breaths. When you pulled your hands away, you wore a perfect smile, untouchable by even Death himself. Every moment left was precious. 

You pushed open the doorknob, and stepped onto the rooftop, strewn with cherry blossoms that had flown three stories up and landed at your feet. The wind turbines in the distance spun and the sun shone bright and gentle. This was the sort of weather and scenery a hero deserved in his final moments. Sure enough, up ahead he sat on the bench, and instead of running you walked normally as if this were any normal day and he was any normal person.

You took a seat beside him, and pat your legs cheerfully. "Come on, lay down here. Let's get you the full service, considering you're my boyfriend." You didn't ask why he never told you the truth, instead choosing to smile sadly as you bumbled around half-blind in the months after Nyx.

He complied, and as soon as he was settled down you took his hand in one of yours, the other combing through his hair and brushing away stray petals. You met his eyes and smiled sweetly, betraying none of the wrenching sorrow you felt. Yukari and Junpei talked a great deal about how you were unable to lie to him, but you could when it mattered in this moment. This would perhaps be your greatest performance, the act of normalcy just before his death.

You smiled, even as the hollowness in your chest remained unfilled. But your hands remained still and you clasped his tightly, but not to the point where it was obvious what you were thinking. Whatever you felt was secondary to his own thoughts, and distinctly you tasted blood from where you had bitten down too hard on your cheek. You put on a show for him, giving him the taste of a normal life he'd never get. Everything that wore you down in that moment you locked away, never to come out so long as his eyes were on you.

You held in your arms the Messiah in his last moments. How frail he was, how impossibly heavy the weight he bore. Could you live with yourself, after this day? Could you bear to survive without him, knowing you had bore the same knowledge and came out alive alone? You were such a terrible person, watching him carry the weight of the world while you lazed around, comforted by the fact you didn't have to sacrifice your life like he did.

Oh, you would miss him. Terribly so, like a drowned man misses land, like a man dying of thirst misses the rivers and lakes. None of it could show on your face. He deserved to have his final moments as peaceful as possible, not comforting you for the last time. Any weight you could take on in his stead now you would gladly lift, even if it crushed you, even if it felt like tearing away at your flesh, stripping you of everything but your bones.

If only that were you. If only you were the one in his lap, content in knowing the one you loved most could live on. But how could that be? You had fallen into this universe too late to sign your name and life away to a world who wouldn't know how much you had sacrificed for them. 

"What did you write on that ema for New Year's anyways?" you gently asked. "You've kept me in suspense for quite a while."

There was a distinct bittersweet smile on his face, as his eyes dipped away and to the side, following the lazy spinning of the turbines. "Forget about me and be happy."

It took you a moment to realize that was his ema, and not just his dying words. Were it any other situation you'd have protested and he'd have given you that same sad look, but you only kept that smile frozen in place. This one moment was perhaps the closest you got to having that mask shatter. But you had no second chance, no way to make up for any mistake you made. The salty tang of blood kept your focus intact, and if your eyes were a little misty, you played it off casually. "You're always going to be very important to me," you told him. "Whether you're there or not. I really love you."

"I love you too." His hands were so warm, even though you knew they wouldn't be for much longer. 

"Hehe. I thought so." Your words were laced with a bit of playful confidence which belied the waves of emotional torment eating away at you. "The others won't take too long, I think. I'm just here a little early since I love you so much."

You wanted to say more, start a casual conversation that would soon be forgotten, but nothing came to mind but emptiness. There was nothing you could say that would make this situation any better. All you could do was repeat the same thing, that you loved him, and hope that was enough. There were so many ways to talk to a dying man, but you happened to think of none of them. 

Though you had never thought of loving as suffering, this was one of those situations where the two were haplessly intertwined. Your hands in his, his life in yours, your heart in his. Did he know you'd never be free of his influence in the future, for better or for worse? He probably hoped you'd move on cleanly and think of him fondly in the occasional trip down memory lane, but it was more than that for you. He'd be the white moonlight at the front of your bed, the crimson mark over your heart, whatever fancy florid metaphor for a haunting regret you could think of, he fit the bill. 

He stifled a yawn behind his fingers, and in one painfully sharp moment you understood how little time you had left. The wind blew, brushing past your hair and clothes. Spring was almost over, and with it, some great part of your life you may never get back. 

"You must be tired," you gently told him, with all the care in the world. "But it's okay. You can rest now. Take a nap, Minato, and I'll be here when you wake up. I promise." Your eyes curved warmly, beholding the world before you. In the distance, you could hear footsteps and the gentle voices of your friends, making their way up to the rooftop. They would be too late, unfortunately. And goodness, the aftermath would probably shatter your heart to pieces.

But that didn't matter right now. Beneath you, Minato smiled. He had such a beautiful smile, perhaps the most stunning one he'd ever shown you, and it had to be now. You wanted to cry, but you had held on for so long, so what was withstanding heartbreak a little moment longer? And then, for the last time, he closed his eyes and you watched the rhythmic rise and fall of his chest come to a quiet, shuttering stop.

Goodbye, you whispered to him in your heart, and hoped your thoughts were light enough to be carried away by the breeze. I'll see you just one more time. So wait for me, okay?

Chapter Text

When you were set back in your apartment, everything was silent for a moment. Everyone stared down at the table, slack-jawed and wide eyed, as if processing what had just happened moments prior. You let them have that, propping your head on your palm while flipping through the scrapbook which caused everything to devolve to this.

There was Yukari and Fuuka, leaning against the rails at the port, overlooking the horizon. Shinjiro and Koromaru, the former turning away from the camera and the latter wagging his tail so furiously it became a blur. As the Phantom Thieves shifted their stares from the table to you, you reached the final section of your scrapbook. The selfish, far too sentimental section.

One after another, you had lined up all your pictures of your former boyfriend, some with you and some without. In some you smiled, arm curled around his with the intimacy only a young, crushing teenager could have. In others, he stood with his side to the camera, having noticed just before you snapped the picture. Always so photogenic, and wasn't that for the better? Here he remained immortalized in pictures rather than in person. Better than nothing. Better than forgetting what he looked like.

"Is that...him?" Ann broke the silence in her gentle, hesitant voice, eyes drawn to the photographs which had once given you such grief. "He looks very kind."

"Oh, he was. He'd give you the shirt off his back if you needed it." Because the messiah always needed some sort of reckless selflessness, and he was the perfect example of one. "You guys probably have a lot to say, right? I don't mind, go ahead."

While everyone else was far more hesitant to bring up something so sensitive, Ryuji wasted no time politely broaching the topic. "Hey, now that your palace is, y'know...are you feeling any better?"

"Better? Maybe." If you had the words to express it you would. Before, simple memories of the past could send you into a spiral of despair, picking away at your brain with all the delicacy of a sledgehammer. It wasn't healthy in the slightest, the way you had forced yourself to prolong your grief thinking that was the only way you could respect his memory. But that didn't mean you weren't sorrowful, nor were you completely over him yet. You would be, someday, but not now. "It's a work in progress," you explained. 

"I know I've said it a lot, but we're always here for you." Makoto was insistent on that, at least. "My sister too, not to mention all your high school friends. You shouldn't have to hide your pain."

"I understand too," added Futaba, "that your feelings won't magically go away even without your palace. But I think the fact that you can acknowledge it and ask for help is really important, so..."

Argh, they were so sappy it was hurting your old, gnarled heart. "Oh my gosh. Thank you guys, really," you told them, with all the sincerity in the world. "Even if I wasn't the most cooperative, even if I pushed you away. I won't lie and say I'll be all perfect by tomorrow, but..." But you felt lighter than you had in years, like the world had stretched on before you in beautiful infinity to reassure you that one day you'd be in a better place than now.

It hurt, still, knowing the other half of your great secret was six feet under, that you had been powerless to do anything, that he had died in your arms. Now all that had dulled down to an ache that would slowly lessen with time. You'd never forget him, and you'd never stop loving the person he was. But while you owed him a lifetime, it wasn't a lifetime filled with sorrow and regret. If he was Eurydice, you had to walk out of the Underworld and into the sunlight. If he was Chang'e, you had to turn from the moon and continue your work on the earth.

"...but I'm okay now." You felt so tired, then, but it was the good kind of tired. The kind you had after spending the day out with your friends at the mall, or after a long walk at night under the streetlights. You didn't feel introspective enough to spend another couple minutes sorting through your thoughts so you tapped the table with a finger and returned to a more interesting topic. "Anyways, my shadow really is stubborn, huh? That doesn't make me a clingy girlfriend, does it?"

"No," Makoto ground out just as Yusuke put his finger to his lips with a serious, thoughtful expression and said, "Maybe."

"No, don't worry," Makoto insisted once more. "That was a cognition and representation of your regrets. It doesn't mean you're clinging onto the person, but rather the concept which took on his form."

"I'm not sure," said Yusuke, less insistent but far too resolved for your liking. "It's not as if your regrets were independent of the person himself. You, and by extension your shadow, must've also felt the same towards him. It would be plausible to then draw the same conclusion you did."

"I'll have to remind you that judging how clingy someone is—"

"Please, can you pick a better topic to argue about?" Ann sighed so deeply you worried her eyebrows were going to be permanently creased. "Don't worry, you're not. I'd probably be the same if I was you...besides, no matter how long it takes you're still grieving. You can take as long as you need, but it shouldn't be because you feel obligated to."

Oh, you had learned this very well. Were still learning, in fact, but they could forgive you for taking your time. "Right. Thank you."

"Really," she insisted. You could always count on Ann to be the sweetest, most open Phantom Thief after all. "Do you want to talk about any of it? Don't feel pressured to or anything, but if it helps...and it's not like we're not curious, so..."

It came to you a little surprisingly that you did want to talk about it, if only shallowly at the beginning. You had been treating Minato as your little paramour or something, a mistress sequestered away in a golden palace. The thought didn't hurt so much as it made you snort a little, calling him your forgotten Empress Chen Jiao. 

You wanted to talk about him. You wanted to explain what kind of person he was, who had nowhere to live but in the memories of those who loved him. Most of all, you wanted to give him his due recognition, and finally let go of your balloon of guilt which you had clumsily tethered to yourself in your teenage angst. He, who had given it all up for a world that could never understand the sacrifice made for them to walk around and experience life in its splendor.

Oh, oh, oh, you understood now. You were proud to be alive to tout around his legacy. You were proud that he existed so cleanly in your memories, and even if they faded away the feelings left behind in their place wouldn't.

"...when I was younger," you began, slowly finding the words to express yourself, "still fighting shadows and everything, I was really into photography. It wasn't so much the photography itself, but just being able to remember things, I guess. The point I really want to make is that since you're all well aware of my history in SEES I've got a second photo album that might be more interesting."

You quickly got to your feet and wandered to your room, digging through your closet for the second time that month. Your hands eventually tightened around a second, more inconspicuous book, which you triumphantly tugged out of your mess of trinkets to bring back to the living room.

You set the album in front of Akira, and the Phantom Thieves naturally all gravitated towards him, peering over his head, shoulder, and from his side as he flipped open the page. You sat across from the whole bunch of teens and let your eyes skim over the same photographs as they did, only upside down.

"These are..." 

"My shadow candids," you casually explained. "Oh, that's a good one. I narrowly avoided getting hit after that, but I think the lighting really captures my good side."

They all squinted at the picture in question. The lighting was Junpei nervously holding up a cheap lighter you had purchased anticipating such an event, and in the very corner Yukari was aiming her bow at the shadow, just in case something went wrong and making the first shot was necessary. 

As if they couldn't believe their eyes, they stared at that photograph before Akira continued to flip through the pages. Getting into the same ballroom dancing position as the dancer shadows with Minato as Mitsuru began her first slash at them, barely avoiding near death as shadows became a blur jumping in your general direction, all of those manifested as quaint photographs down on the pages.

Ann, who always had positive words for you, became speechless. "W-wow, and you're in all of them! They're really, uh..."

"Chaotic, aren't they," you finished, before your eyes landed on the picture they were fixated on. "Oh, that one. I still have the scar from that, actually, right here." You rolled up your sleeve to point at a faint scar running along the inside of your arm. It was one of those things that was hardly noticeable until one focused, which made sense considering how everyone in SEES had absolutely lost their minds and piled every single healing item onto you at the time.

"Ah, that's...impressive?" They all did take a considerable look at your battle trophy, weird looks adorning their faces. 

"Why do you guys look so weirded out?" you asked, crossing your arms. Playfully, that was, because at this point you weren't sure if any of them could actually upset you in any way, with what you had put them through. 

They didn't seem to see how you weren't actually upset, as Ann was once again quick to jump to everyone's defenses. "It's not weird or anything! Really! Just...kind of unexpected."

"Really?" When you first embarked on your shadow photographing mission no one had batted an eye, despite advising you against it. And then you went back to think about it. You were, what was it, a lot more unhinged when you were younger. Something about thinking of the world as just another story, unable to reconcile fiction with reality. 

You didn't have the energy for a lot of things you used to attempt on the daily anymore. It made you sound remarkably old, but spiritually you really were. That, and you had overworked your body to such a degree in college that it was a miracle you hadn't been hospitalized more than twice. Oh goodness, were you boring now? One of those boring adults who cared about taxes, the kind you swore to yourself you'd never be considering the running narrative of adults aren't shit going on throughout your life?

You covered your mouth with your palm, properly horrified. All of a sudden, it really did feel like you had completely mellowed out and lost all your energetic charm. 

"...okay? You okay?" Ryuji's voice dragged you out of your midlife crisis, and you quickly assumed what you hoped was a very mature, very normal looking expression.

"Of course." Well, even if you were struggling with the slow process of becoming a boomer you still had to get with the program. No more brooding in dead silence and carrying such a notion to the grave. Incidentally, you were in a bit of a nostalgic mood, and surely a little reminiscing never hurt anyone. "You know, have I ever told you about how I accidentally drove a bunch of geese into my high school?"

It was a little surprising, the way they all grew visibly interested. You hardly talked about yourself, after all. Maybe you should do it more with your new friends. "Tell us more," came Akira's authoritative voice, acting as the group spokesperson.

The memory brought up a fondness in your chest that wouldn't abate until hours later, after they had left and you had settled down on the couch. "I was walking with Junpei around winter, and we saw a lot of geese at this one place by the sea. Normally you'd just move on but I was feeling a bit suicidal, and it was by pure coincidence I had some bread from lunch..."

-

SEES

junpei 🍜

Hey r u ok?

Havent heard abt the phantom thieves in a while

You

oh! yes sorry i shouldve said something

Kirijo Mitsuru

I did think it was strange nothing came up recently.

Should I be concerned?

You

its nothing! we just did my palace is all

well be back to criminal wrangling soon :)

Kirijo Mitsuru

Your what?

junpei 🍜
Your WHAT

yukari 💖

What???

fuuka 💘
Are you okay?!

You

oh yeah im fine now!! all cool!!

yukari 💖

Wait wait tell us about the palace. Please.

ken 🐕
Palace?

junpei 🍜
Ken it's 1am go to sleep

Aigis
TELL ME ABOUT THE PALACE.

ken 🐕
Didn't I show you how to turn off capslock?

Aigis

YES. I AM DISTRESSED. 

yukari 💖

You even made Aigis sad...

You

oh my god im so sorry aigis

Kirijo Mitsuru

Please, just tell us what happened.

You

oh well its really not that bad

to be honest, i always thought i had to make up for minato's death

and im starting to understand why thats wrong now but

up until then, i just couldnt cope with knowing he was gone and the fact that i couldve done something

so i tried to make it as hard as possible on myself

but its good now!

Sanada Akihiko
Oh man...

Kirijo Mitsuru
You're late.

Sanada Akihiko

Sorry bout that, I was called in late.

More importantly, are you sure you're feeling better now?

fuuka 💘

If you need to take time to recover please do! Your health is the most important thing.

And I'm sorry... I never realized...

You

nono dont even worry about it!

im sorry for keeping it from you guys too

i guess if he was alive id get gently reprimanded haha

Kirijo Mitsuru

I'll reprimand you on his behalf in that case.

yukari 💖

Mitsuru, maybe that can wait for later?

junpei 🍜

Yea! Give her a break first!

Kirijo Mitsuru

...Fine. But we're calling now. 

junpei 🍜

Now? Chidori's asleep!

ken 🐕

You can go outside.

junpei 🍜

In the cold???

yukari 💖

You know what's more important.

junpei 🍜

Yea...ok...

Ready whnever

Kirijo Mitsuru
Facetime calling...

-

The first official SEES meeting in six years was a lot less awkward than you had imagined. It had been a little slow at first, with everyone toeing around you, but that didn't mean they were inattentive. The opposite, really. You were only so good at reassuring them about not having known of your mental struggle arc. 

Fuuka had admitted to having an inkling, and then apologized profusely for never have pursued it. Yukari was deeply distressed and had a kicked-dog look on her face the whole while. Aigis was quiet, but no less upset than the others, just as she would've been for Minato. Junpei was as awkwardly caring as always, Mitsuru toed the line between formal and informal in her attempts to cheer you up, and Ken and Akihiko were about the same as always, but even they asked after you.

Mostly, it felt like a huge weight had been lifted off your chest. This secret, which you had been so sure would be the undoing of you, had only unraveled and bit by bit you began tugging it out of you. 

These are my friends. This is my family. We are not born alone, and we do not die alone. These are the people I would die with. It had been a long time, but you finally realized the same fact as you once took for granted—they were Minato's friends, but they were your friends too. And maybe you hadn't finished grieving yet, but they had, and they would have your back every step of the way.

Minato, is that what you wanted me to learn? I'm sorry it took so long. Even late at night, curled into your covers, you wanted to exclaim to the world: This was the man I loved, oh so much, and one day I will fall out of love with him.

Today you had settled something which dragged you down for six years. Tomorrow you would keep settling it, and settling it, and settling it until one day you looked behind you and realized you had been done moving on for a long time. That was the process of grief, bitter and numbing until one day you realized it had since dissipated while you were off doing other things.

When you closed your eyes you weren't scared of dreaming. Your shadow manipulating your dreams was gone, so there would be no more of those tormenting you. Your hopes were a little high, hoping to dream of him once more, because after all the brave talk you still missed him dearly.

And then you blinked awake to somewhere outside of your bedroom and outside of your apartment. Your clothes were normal, casual clothes, something you'd wear out to the movies or something equally mundane. Before you was the center of Tokyo, right at Shibuya crossing, but instead of the block of commercial buildings was a graveyard instead. 

Behind you, the people in your dreams continued moving. When you focused on their faces they blurred away into something that hurt the eye with how shifty it was, so you only looked away and back to the graveyard. It was clean in the typical Japanese fashion, and you pushed past the gates and stepped inside. 

Your feet carried you, as if by instinct, to somewhere in the very back. Leaning against an inconspicuous tombstone while touting a wooden pail and picking at chrysanthemums was perhaps the person you wanted to see most. Still, you had your pride and instead of gawking at your dream's good fortune you took the pail from his hand gently and began pouring water over his grave, scoop by scoop.

"I missed you, you know," you told him, setting down the now empty pail beside his gravestone, before clapping your hands together and bowing three times. He dutifully set the flowers he was picking at down, and you gave his grave one last look before you turned to the man himself. "How does it feel, leaving your girlfriend hanging?"

He didn't speak, and you thought that was just as well. Maybe that'd keep him around longer, if it was just you tugging around the perfect façade of the man you loved. You took his hand in yours and pulled him out of the cemetery, thinking of nothing but the future. "You know, Tokyo's really fun. I'll show you around to my favorite places, but to be honest, you're not missing anything."

You pulled him through the throngs of people cluttered up the sidewalk, each murmuring too quiet to be heard but loud enough to mimic the same ambience of Tokyo in real life. With a pang in your heart, you realized it was almost as if you were taking the person himself around the city, but that was a pipe dream begging to be crushed as soon as you awoke.

As soon as you took him onto the train you clambered into an open seat and gestured for him to sit beside you. "Oh, where do I even begin? First of all, Yukari's famous now! She's one of those Feathermen Ken really liked to watch. And don't get me started on Mitsuru-senpai, I bought stocks from her company a while back and I made a couple thousand...

"Oh, Junpei's a coach for a little league now! He won't admit it, but the kids are growing on him." The thought made you smile, and you twisted your hands around in your lap all shy-like, though it was more imitation of your younger self than your present state of mind. "Fuuka's doing really well in tech right now. She's embarrassed about it, but she has her own Wikipedia page. Akihiko's the same as always, but sometimes he drops by to see Shinji-senpai. Did you know he got hired for a café a while back? Sometimes I ask him to make dinner, and he fusses, but still does it. Ken's student council president now, and Koromaru is still happy and healthy. Aigis is working with Mitsuru too. I'm glad she's got somewhere to be now, without you to be her primary motive.

"And I'm...doing good too! Mitsuru-senpai got me a job and although I've been telling her it's fine, she's preparing to get me a promotion to a manager at Human Resources." You had so much to say to the illusion of the same man which had haunted you, but now it felt ephemeral. "They had the Shadow Operatives a while back, you know, with the others. It's this team Mitsuru-senpai had, like SEES but bigger."

Oh, Shadow Operatives... They called you a reserve member, but truth be told, you knew they had no intention of ever calling you up unless strictly necessary. It would be oversimplification to say they were treating you like a delicate object and treading carefully around you, but it would be ignoring their cautious behavior otherwise. 

"It's doing good," you decided to say. It was fine, now. You were never bitter in the first place and now you wouldn't be in the future. "Everyone's leaving to pursue their own things, though. I hope Mitsuru-senpai and Aigis aren't too sad to see them go."

The train finally reached your destination, and you tugged him off once more, squeezing through the crowds to come face to face with Yongen-Jaya. "I work part time here! The boss is really nice, and he makes really good curry and coffee. Akira does too, actually." When you pushed the door open, as expected, there was no one in. But a tour was a tour, so you walked behind the counter and brewed something yourself. "If Akira was here, I'd ask him to help. He's the newest wild card. Not recruited by Igor, but I'm not allowed to say that to anyone else." 

When you finished you slid the cup across the table and waited for him to pick it up. He did, and you found yourself staring hard as he drank, looking like nothing was wrong. Of course, this dream figure had no conscious thought or anything like that. It was still comforting nonetheless doing everything you wished you had the chance to do this one time, because you had this keen sense that you'd never seen him again after this.

"I should show you where I work," you offered. "In fact, why not? Here, here, come here, let me take you there." You dumped the dishes in the sink, exuberant even in such a situation. You felt almost young again, even if you stood at the precipice of a future away from the past you clung onto. You dragged him down the street, peppering in your words with every new video game that had come out, every new manga you thought he might've read at Junpei's behest. 

You showed off Shinjiro's café, the agency which Yukari partnered with, and then the apartment you had bought for yourself and the small like you had eked out. "Jujutsu Kaisen still isn't out, so we have two years left for that. Fate/Grand Order is, but it's still in its infancy and missing a lot of quality of life updates, so I'm not really interested." The sky was bright blue, clouds softly draping across the backdrop like a few smudges of white paint. "And you're still dead. I don't suppose you'll be coming back to life in the future?"

He didn't need to speak for you to understand. This was simple wish fulfilment for one last night, the end to your beautiful little dream before the real world beckoned. You understood this very well, but you waited to hear his voice anyways, staring at him with enough passion to bring the dead back to life. But, well, he wasn't really dead, so he simply looked on. 

"I can't say I expected anything else," you said, and picked up his hand once more. "I'm not delusional enough to not understand when things are meant to end, but I wish we had more time." There was that tickling in the back of your mind, the shifts in the scenery which alerted you to the end of your time together.

The streets and people blended together, until you walked one straight line back to the cemetery from which you departed from. Past the gates and the numerous tombstones you walked until you reached the very last one at the back. You were suddenly hit with the thought that you didn't want him to leave, that right now was too shabby and too soon a goodbye. You'd never see him again. You could live with that, but it didn't make the process any harder, and you found yourself unable to let go of his hand.

His open grave sat in front of you, six feet deep and neatly squared off. Nevermind the fact that he had been cremated, it was certainly an effective image to burn into your mind. How did your last goodbye go again? Ah, right, he had been lying in your lap and you had let him sleep. The sun had been bright, the flower petals had been scattering all around, and spring had been just around the corner.

"I know," you said, even without input from him, "that you have to go. Sorry about the past few years bastardizing your memory, and...I love you."

For the first time in your dream, he stopped to reach out his hands and cupped them around your cheeks, face blooming into a brilliant smile. "Thank you." Before you could properly express your shock at him speaking, he pulled away and walked to his grave. The hole had been filled in and in place of his tombstone was a blue door. A very familiar blue door, you had to add. 

Minato, beautiful, ethereal, cheeky Minato who was so kind but so horribly, egregiously audacious. Did he think you wouldn't recognize the Velvet Room, availing itself to him? And if that was the Velvet Room, what did it meant, that your dream of him would have that for whatever reason?

"Bye," he said, ever so succinct, and opened the door with one hand in pocket, posture slumped and casual, but carrying remarkable grace. 

"Wait," you called, mind running faster than your mouth could keep up with. "Wait, you're—" Realization dawned upon your face, and the last you saw of him was his smile as he shut the door behind him, and then you awoke with a start, heart racing. 

You flopped back down, bouncing a little on your mattress. "—real," you finished, trailing off into thoughtful silence. Eventually, you cracked a smile and rolled onto your side, closing your eyes. You'd miss him, but that was part and parcel for the course. You'd be sad, but not for long. If he wanted it from you, you could go vegan, retire from the material world, chain yourself to the door sealing away Nyx. And if he wanted it from you, you could forget about him and live your own life, one without him.

Chapter Text

"You holding up okay?" You looked up to see Yukari hovering above you in her black dress, holding out a sports drink she likely grabbed from a nearby vending machine for you. "There's...still the actual funeral after this. I know you're not feeling the best, so it's okay if you need to take the day off."

"It's okay." You tried to smile but it felt a little too stiff, and you slowly accepted the drink from Yukari. "I can go tomorrow as well."

"Don't force yourself," she warned you, but then she stopped when she saw your expression. There it was, that same look every single one of SEES had worn around you. They didn't seem to realize, but you did. You only looked away, and Yukari dipped her head before reluctantly walking off. 

You were sitting with your back to the wall, and just coincidentally your eyes met with the portrait of him they had hanging over his coffin. It was a picture you had taken, one you had given to Mitsuru later that night of his death as she was awake in the living room trying to tackle all the paperwork herself. "I can't accept this," she had told you, expression only dropping further.

"I have plenty," you said, and slowly she took the photo from your hands with all the care in the world. "Do you need help?"

"...no, no, it's fine." She relaxed a little, though she still looked horribly downcast. But you all were, and you would be for a very long while, so you said nothing and let her trace his image through the photo. "Would you mind if I listed you as his family?"

"Me?" you asked, just a little taken aback. Mitsuru hesitated a little, worried she had somehow crushed the eggshells everyone had been tiptoeing around. 

"If it makes you uncomfortable—"

"No, it's not that. It's just...why me, of all people?"

For a moment, she gripped the pen in her hand tighter. "You're—you were the closest person to him. None of us would argue about that." She sighed too, turning back to the papers beneath her fingers. "There's...no one else I can list as family." A orphaned child, with no blood relatives to speak of. With no family, the closest thing being a girlfriend he had known for not yet a full year. 

"Alright," you breathed out. "Is there anything else?"

"All the money we'll get," she began, a little stilted, "from the envelopes. I'll turn it over to you afterwards." This you had to look up a little earlier that day. After a death, money was gifted to the grieving family through special black and white envelopes designed specifically for that purpose.

It was at this point that you stared at her a little awkwardly. "Um... Doesn't the host..."

She smiled a little, but it was fraught with exhaustion and the hints of grief, even as she tried to keep up a strong face in front of you. "You're his only family on paper," she told you, and tapped a finger on the documents in front of her. "Traditionally, the host is a close family member. I'm taking over now because you're not yet an adult, but this really should be going to you."

Your nails dug a little into your palm, and you quickly relaxed your hand. "I don't know, I wouldn't feel comfortable taking it. I was actually going to bring an envelope for you myself, but..."

Mitsuru quickly shook her head, discontinuing your train of thought. "In this case, I suppose we're the family members. The closest thing to them anyways, so it wouldn't be right for us to bring bushugibukuro." She fell into contemplative silent once again, eyes closing for a couple seconds. It was likely the lack of sleep catching up to her. "And I do think the money should go to you. Would it...make you feel better if I set up a separate account under his name? You don't have to touch it, but I want to have it available for you, should something change in the future."

You could tell Mitsuru wouldn't budge here, so you could only meekly nod and say yes. She smiled again, eyes closing for another moment. "Alright. I won't keep you up. You should get some sleep. If it's too hard, I can go make us some tea."

"It's okay. I'll try." You did in fact try, but sleep hardly came easy then. You lay awake in your own bed, staring at the empty space beside you. Somewhere in the floor above you was his room, which would never see him again. Somewhere across the city they had already began preparing for his wake and funeral. Somewhere in your heart, you understood very clearly: now I'm never going to see him again, aren't I?

You jerked out of your memories and for a moment forgot you were sitting in the funeral hall. Still, just a ways from where you sat was the same portrait of Minato, wreathed in flowers and shrouded in faint wisps of smoke. You watched him just a bit more before you let your eyes fall to the ground, and listened to the faint talking of your friends in the background. They had wandered a bit further away from you, likely to give you space.

They just didn't know how to interact with you, was what you thought. They all gave you the same sad, pitying look, cloying in how caring it was, and spoke gently as if one word too loud might send you crumbling. You wanted to tell them that it was fine, that you weren't in danger of hanging yourself from the ceiling—nothing like that. That they were allowed to grieve too, instead of keep up their brave act even though you understood fully well you weren't the only one who had lost a loved one. That it was fine for them to treat you as they always did, without the sighs and side looks. 

Still, they would only feel worse if you told them. So you rested your head on your knees, hugging them close to your chest. Everyone said that this sort of grief would eventually fade, some day in the future, but you couldn't imagine it. You had ended up in this world and attached yourself to the first familiar face you saw, and somehow he had become your entire world. And now he was gone.

You sighed again, squeezing your eyes shut tighter in hopes of preemptively putting a stop to the tears you were sure would follow. You could hear now their conversation more clearly.

"Are you sure she's okay?" There was Fuuka, who had hovered around you the entire wake only to back off right after. 

"I gave her something to drink, but..." And there was Yukari, who you knew snuck glances at you throughout the day.

"You should give her time." Ken, who was no stranger to funerals and perhaps the most put together of them all.

"Don't worry too much. She's stronger than you give her credit for." Akihiko, now, every bit as confident as the first years wished they were.

"Where's Aragaki-senpai?" Junpei, concerned in his own unique way, which meant he was just a lot more quiet than usual.

"Getting some air. The doctor told him to not overexert himself, but he still insisted on coming." Mitsuru finished off their conversation decisively. "Will you all be staying for the vigil?"

There was a round of affirmatives, and then Fuuka's voice rose above the crowd. "I would've no matter what, but I really don't want to leave...you know...alone. Not tonight, at least." 

"I'm sure we all feel the same." They had realized since then that their voices were a little too loud for a conversation about you, and they quickly devolved back into hushed whispers. You didn't mind much, only turning your mind to other things. Worse things, maybe, but in the silence there was nowhere to go but backwards.

Just two days ago you held him for the last time. Just months ago you defeated Nyx and woke up as someone else. Just around a year ago you woke up on a train bound for Tatsumi Port Island, with no clue how you ended up there. Had it really been a full year? A few months of it was spent in a dream-like haze, but that only made up a small fraction of your time together.

You were never seeing him again. You'd never walk back from school with him, never buy a late night snack with him, never experience growing up together and falling in love, falling out of love, whatever it was adults did. You were going to grow up and graduate in a year, and he never would.

You would wake up feeling his absence every single day for the rest of your life. And when you died, you would return to nothingness. There was no reunion in the future, no hard-earned happy ending, nothing like that. The portrait of him, innocuously hanging up a few meters away, only served as a taunt.

You missed him. And if he were here he would take your hands in his and sit with you until the worst of it had passed, but he was gone now and you could only learn to live without him. Those thoughts had crowded in your mind, pushing over each other vying to reach the spotlight. 

And you hadn't realized you were crying until Fuuka was right before you, face contorted in horrifying sorrow. "Oh, oh no," she managed out, shakily reaching out her arms to pull you into hers. You let her without much complaint, and she only held you tighter, voice choking up. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."

For what, you wanted to ask, but nothing would come out. There was only a quiet sob choking up your throat, and she fell to her knees as well, sitting with you on the floor as her hands shakily patted your back. She wasn't crying, but it seemed very close to it. Her shoulders shook a little, and the two of you hung on to each other as if you were drowning and she was trying to tow you back to shore. 

Eventually, when your tears ran dry you peeled yourself out of her arms, hiding your face in your hands. "I'm sorry. That was really unbecoming of me."

"No!" She seemed to reach out for your hands, but those were preoccupied with keeping your tear-stricken expression with view, so she drew back with a jerk. "It's completely normal to feel this way. There's nothing to be ashamed of." She hung her head regardless, eyes sinking to the floor. 

You stopped peeking at her from between the gaps in your fingers and slowly set your hands down on your lap. "I'm sorry," you repeated. "I'm sorry that you feel like your sadness isn't legitimate because of me."

She gasped a little, looking choked up. "No, that's not..." Not true, you assumed, but even she could only hand her head once more and pick at the hem of her black dress. 

"I know you don't mean it." You tried to smile anyways, and you reached out to hold her hands, hoping that she could forgive the slipping of your normally perfect façade. "And I'm not upset. You guys should be the ones upset at me, for making you feel that way."

"No," she insisted once more. "We're not—we just—" She struggled with the words to say. It really wasn't every day someone important died, especially not someone so integral to so many people. He had lived a beautiful life, contained in one school year, and watched it extinguish by his own hands. 

"Fuuka," you said, and hoped the crack in your voice didn't make things worse. "I love you. Thank you being here." Her breath caught in her throat, but for some reason your words only seemed to have the opposite effect you intended, and she looked horrified. 

"I'm—" For a moment her head dipped dangerously low and you had no idea how to react, but then she raised her head again and looked at you directly, eyebrows scrunched and a weak smile at her lips. "Me too. I love you too." There was something more to her words, but you couldn't hear it in your grief. Waves and waves of white noise played at your ears, and it felt almost as if you were consistently suspended in a vat of some thick, viscous liquid. 

Your hands moved slowly, as if controlled not by yourself but puppet strings clumsily manipulated. "I think I just need some—some time alone. I'm sorry."

"Don't be. Don't be sorry." Fuuka looked at your interlaced hands and gently pulled hers away, getting to her feet with surprising grace, for someone who had been near-crying on the floor with you. "I'm...the others and I are here if you need anything. Don't hesitate to ask."

You would. You would for years, struggling with reconciling your needs with theirs. The last thing you wanted was to burden the people you loved, but Fuuka would hate to hear it, so you nodded. "I will."

She, too, stepped away, and when her footsteps faded you were once again left in the funeral hall with no one but a ghost. Perhaps if you were more unhinged, more in denial, you'd start hallucinating. And how welcoming that would be! Even if he spat nothing but curses at you, you could still see him. He could still live on.

There was the whole night left for these thoughts, as you waited by him for as long as the vigil required. You felt terrible, sitting here crying to yourself while your friends busied themselves with funeral arrangements and plans for the future. After the funeral proper tomorrow they had decided to clean up his room, sort out his belongings, and begin looking towards a brand new day.

I don't have an eternity with you, but I have an eternity with this guilt. That night he died, you lay awake wondering perhaps what any grief-stricken lover would in a Shakespearean play. The question of living on, even bearing the consequences of feigned ignorance.

But was that something you could decide for yourself? Minato had died, so that you and everyone else could live on. You would not let his death be in vain, but you couldn't bring yourself to move on either. So you made a decision, one you carried six years into the future; for the rest of your life, however long it was, you would spend it in penance. To love was to suffer. The two were intertwined so deeply perhaps they could even become synonyms, so as long as you suffered, you loved.

You got to your feet again, sparing the portrait one last look, before you walked out of the hall and outside. It was cold and the frigid air nipped at your skin, but you couldn't find it in you to walk back in just yet. There was someone else standing on the street too, however, and when you turned to look at him he did the same.

"Need some air?" asked Shinjiro, and you nodded. "Knock yourself out."

"You're treating me like normal," you noted, and he scoffed a little, hands digging into his coat pockets. He slouched a little, not too unlike Minato in the beginning of the year, and for a moment there was a pang in your heart. 

"Sorry for not being like your friends." He looked to the street, where no one walked. You had a feeling that if he smoked, he would take a long drag then. It would explain the rasp in his voice. "You don't need my pity anyways."

"It is refreshing," you admitted. "Thank you, senpai."

"You don't need to thank me for that." He had that same awkward look again, where he was embarrassed and got all gruff about it. "And if you're looking for nice words, I ain't the one you should be asking."

"I know, senpai." The cold was beginning to become pleasant at this point, and you closed your eyes for a moment, thinking of winter break and your numerous dates during. "Honest to a fault. Kind to a fault too." As an afterthought, you couldn't help but add a quiet little, "Just like him."

Normally he might object to being compared, for some particular reason of his. But now he only sighed, tapped his food awkwardly, and voiced no objections. "Are you hungry?" he finally asked, once the worst of your heartache had passed in another of its waves. It rushed in and out, and now it was over you could finally breathe once more. 

"A little," you admitted, and he turned back to the funeral hall. He jerked his head in the direction of the door. 

"Kirijo's bound to have something for you. If you're going to be staying the whole night, do yourself a favor and make sure you have the energy for it." You were constantly in a state of lethargy, at this point, but you led Shinjiro lead you into the funeral hall and to where Mitsuru had set up a table of modest dishes. You ate in a trance, spoke in a haze, and once it was later, walked in a daze back to the main funeral hall.

The others had given you space, as you had asked Fuuka. So now you alone settled in the same space by the wall, and for the whole night wondered if every subsequent night would be like this. In the morning you only listlessly started at the wall until Yukari approached again, holding out a hand for you to take. "Come on. Let's get you a shower and a change of clothes before the reception."

You did take it, and walked with her back to the dorms. Along the way, however, she looked as if she was working up the nerve to ask you something. At the doorway of the dorms she stopped at the entrance. "Do you..."

In response, you stopped as well, waiting for her to speak. "Do you need anything?"

"I'm alright," you told her, with perhaps less enthusiasm necessary to sell the act. In turn, she looked doubtful of your words, but it wasn't like she could refute you either, so she nodded once more and walked with you up the stairs.

Once you were done showering and stepped out of the bathroom you noticed Yukari had already set out a brand new set of clothes for you to change into. You took your time slipping into the clothes and buttoning up the jacket, patting down the fabric once you were done. It was at this point that the waves of guilt had ebbed away and receded, leaving behind a sense of hollowness, and you slipped down the stairs looking nowhere but the floor.

The rest were waiting at the bottom floor for you, and not for the first time you felt even worse. They had to toughen up because they were worried you were worse off, and wasn't that such a great show of your friendship, guilting them into prematurely ending their grieving. 

You couldn't tell them this. They'd only feel worse. You walked with them to where the funeral was being held, responding whenever they tried to include you in their conversation. The rest of the time you lapsed into silence, content with drowning in your thoughts. 

The funeral itself was a small affair, which you were certain he'd have preferred. Mitsuru invited all those with some sort of connection to him—his social links, in another world. You couldn't help but think of that one tidbit of trivia you read a long, long time ago, about how the original plan for the game was to have the protagonist gather attendees for his funeral. Social links and funerals. How laughable, that in those times you imagined you had very little to do with this event unfolding before you now.

You hadn't cried, then. You were near crying now, even as you hung your head and watched Mitsuru accept the envelopes with the same torn-up expression. My condolences, they repeated. I'm sorry. I never thought it'd end up this way. I miss him. Do you miss him too? Of course you do. We all knew how close you were, inseparable, and till death did you part.

"Hey," said Hidetoshi, and you roused from your internal monologue to see him standing before you. He was always an awkward one around you, considering your relationship hardly existed. He was friends with your boyfriend, and you were near certain he had some sort of crush on him. "Are you...okay?"

You heard that quite often, but you didn't have it in you to say anything. "Okay is subjective, but...I guess I will be. That's what everyone says."

"And it's okay if you're not," he insisted. "You've probably heard that a lot, but I mean it."

"I do hear it a lot." You smiled afterwards, hoping he understood you weren't upset. "But thank you anyways."

He looked at you, the same way so many people did. You couldn't recognize such a look, where they seemed so guilty and sad and something else, horrified or hesitant or something. You didn't know, and it made you want to gather all the offenders and just asked why they looked at you, not with the same air of pity and empathy but something else. Like they wanted to say something, but couldn't, and what a ride that was.

"I'm here," he said, "if you want to talk." You would likely never hit him up, now that what was connecting the two of you was gone. And he seemed to realize it too, because suddenly he only clenched his jaw and looked to the side. That, or he was just being like everyone else. No one wanted to look you in the eye, likely because they were afraid even that would set you off on a tangent of tears.

"Thank you. I love you for that." He only looked worse at your words of comfort.

He still refused to meet your eyes. "You shouldn't...say something like that so easily."

"H-Huh? Really?" 

He nodded sternly. "It's...cultural. Yeah, that's it."

Oh, and here you were saying to everyone you didn't hate. Now that you thought about it, that was a sentiment you remembered hearing about, but no one reminded you. Perhaps that explained why Fuuka and Yuuka would look so off-put by such words, likely because of culture-shock. "Thanks for letting me know."

Hidetoshi dipped his head once. "No problem. I'll see you in school next year." He walked off after, shoulders tight and back straight. You watched him go, and realized with a great pang of guilt that in the span of that conversation you hadn't thought of Minato once. And then it was back all at once, but you soldiered on and waited for the next person to approach you with well-intentioned condolences.

It took around two hours for the stragglers to finally leave, after having said their dues, and you found yourself standing with the others. "Don't feel pressured to join the cremation," said Mitsuru to everyone, but you had a sinking feeling she really was directing it towards you. 

"I'll see it through," you replied in kind. "It's the least I can do."

"...right." She nodded once, and you trailed behind them, nails painfully embedded in your palms. The love of your life burned up to ashes, and your duty was to transfer what remained of him into a jar and have him sealed away in a tombstone for the rest of eternity. 

Surprisingly, your hands didn't shake too much during the entire process. What an experience to share with the others, holding before you the bones and dust of someone you once loved. For them it was once, but for you it was forever. Forever and ever, until one day you forgave yourself—as if that would happen. As if you could put aside a year's worth of self-loathing, destiny warped into something crumpled and charred to the bone. Like him, you supposed.

As tradition dictated, you spent the night with the rest of SEES. Normally this would call for drinks and copious food as you celebrated his life and whatnot, but none of you were of age yet. Not old enough to drink, but old enough to bury a friend. 

"Normally we hold this right after the wake," said Mitsuru, holding in her hands a mug of tea Shinjiro had steeped a while prior. She was explaining for your sake, most likely. "But I suppose it's a little different for us."

"Yeah, well, I guess we'll just have to start breaking tradition too." Junpei, too, had not completely shaken off the sullen mood, but he was faring pretty well considering everything. "Is no one else going to go first? I guess I can." He looked as if he was hyping himself up to speak, failing each time. "Nevermind, this is hard. How the heck am I supposed to pick just one thing to say?"

"Then I'll go," said Yukari, before clearing her throat. "To me...I think he was the nicest person I've ever met. He didn't seem like it outwardly, but no matter what you asked of him, if you seriously needed help, he would do anything he possibly could."

"I concur," Akihiko added. "You know, I never saw him turn down a request. There was this guy who asked for help for picking out shoes, of all things, and he still nodded and said 'alright' to him."

Fuuka let out a quiet chuckle. "That does sound like him."

"Doesn't it?" Akihiko let out a quiet laugh too, eyes on the table as he rubbed a thumb across the ridges of his own mug. "I'm surprised he went to our school, of all places. I can see him in some prestigious school in Tokyo or something like that."

"He would've made it into the University of Tokyo first try," Ken declared. You thought of your night together before Nyx, where he offhandedly suggested that university for you. Ah, that was no good. You didn't have to drag your own issues into the others' gentle reminiscing. "Wasn't he always number one in exams? You guys told me that."

"He was," Aigis confirmed. "But you were second, weren't you?" This you referred to you yourself, and you watched as everyone else turned to face you. Now that all their attention was on you it was a little hard to focus. Was your expression right? Was there any flaw in your presentation? 

You had to reply. "I guess so, yeah. I always said I'd overtake him in the next exams, but..." You were overtaken, then, with the knowledge you'd never have this sort of competitive ribbing again. That, and the memory of a better day where your only concern was studying for composition. "I'm glad I never beat him," you finished. "It wouldn't feel right."

"It does feel like that, doesn't it..." Yukari sighed a little, but quickly injected a bit of positivity into her voice. "Well, regardless, I'm glad I got to know him! I didn't think it'd end this way, but..."

Everyone went silent at that. No one had known he'd die, was what Yukari meant. But the truth was everyone was unaware except for you and him, and now he was gone you were left to carry the torch. All on your lonesome once more. "I'll miss him," you said, and took a long sip of your tea so you didn't have to see them looking at you so sadly. "But don't worry. I love this world he saved, and I love you guys. You don't have to look so worried, you know."

"...ah." Mitsuru coughed into a fist. "I'm...glad to hear that."

You loved this world, you loved them, and you didn't love yourself. But you understood, in that moment, that this burden was yours. You would hide away that overwhelming feeling of sorrow in you, so that the people beside you could no longer speak in fear of hurting you. Today and tomorrow and all the following days you would live on, dreaming of meeting him in the fields of asphodel. No, he was more of an Elysium kind of guy.

"I'll help pack his things," you told them, as gently as you could manage. "Please, let me do this."

They looked among each other. "Sure," said Shinjiro, who had been silent up until then. "You do that." And it was like the worst of the storm had passed, with the weight off their shoulders and the creases smoothed out between their eyebrows. What filled the dorm room then was chatter, beautiful words about the life of who brought all of you together. Memories and feelings, all of the sentimental things they had been too afraid to bring up in your presence.

You spoke until sunrise and drifted off to sleep, carried upstairs by a collaboration of all the SEES members. And when you slept you dreamed of a beautiful summer morning. "Let's go watch a movie," said Minato, and you were not lucid enough to understand that this was a dream.

"Let's," you agreed, and took his hand.

Chapter Text

"Hawaii?" Ryuji nodded enthusiastically, now that the conversation had derailed from a Mementos target to this. 

"That's right, did we not mention earlier? We're goin' to Hawaii for a school trip!" He looked so enthusiastic it was hard for you to not feel the same, and you smiled along with him. 

"That sounds fun! I kind of want to go too..." You trailed off, thinking of typical sunny beaches and palm trees. And volcanoes, Hawaii also had those. You expected that to be the end of the conversation, and it wasn't like you were trying to piggy back off some high schoolers for a vacation. But instead Ann nodded like she understood everything. 

"You should come too! If your boss lets you, that is. But it would be cool if you could."

You almost wanted to stare at her blankly while pointing a finger towards yourself. "Oh, no, I wouldn't dare. I'm still tactful enough to understand that I'd just be an adult crashing the party."

"You're not that much older," was her reply. "But I think we'd all love to see you there! Really. Right, guys?" Ann elbowed the person nearest to her, which happened to be Ryuji, who very nearly let out a what was that for? before he caught himself.

"R-right," he quickly added. "Besides, you totally deserve a vacation!" 

You did indeed deserve a vacation. Finally taking your first few steps towards moving on tired out both the body and mind, and you were very curious to see if this world's Hawaii was any similar to your world's Hawaii. And you hadn't had a good chance to practice English anytime soon, so the temptation was fairly strong.

After another moment of thinking of kicking back and getting a cocktail by the sea, you finally relented. "I'll go ask my boss later," you told Ann, and she positively glowed. "When are you going? I'll try to match schedules."

Ann quickly pulled out her phone to go look at her calendar. "Here, I'll tell you what flight as well so we can get there around the same time!"

Makoto cleared her throat just as Ann showed you where she marked down the trip. "I'm looking forward to it too, but weren't we talking about Mementos?" Ann laughed sheepishly, rubbing the back of her head as she quickly withdrew her phone and gave you an apologetic look.

"Oops, sorry, I'll text you later. More importantly, who are we hunting down again?" 

Akira gave a quick rundown on the topic, and you watched with a careful gaze. To be truthful, most of it went in one ear and out the other so you spared everyone the trouble of explaining everything to you again by staying quiet. You'd figure it out along the way like a true adult, how about that? 

Before long they had decided on their target and Akira took out his phone to transport you all to the Metaverse. You were a bit curious to see what it would be like, now that your palace was gone and you could presumably summon Chang'e. As if sensing your thoughts, you could nearly feel her presence hovering at the back of your mind, a steady reminder that you had gotten back what once eluded you. When the familiar sense of vertigo from traveling to the Metaverse rushed through your head, you let it, waiting to open your eyes once more.

The dimness of the subway station greeted you. Maybe it was just your imagination, but it seemed less imposing, less dangerous now that you had the capability to defend yourself. Giddily, you thought of how you no longer needed to sit out of boss fights feeling bad for yourself. You hadn't even thought about your outfit until you realized everyone else was giving you a once over, and only then did you look down and actually take inventory.

"Oh, it's..." The first thing you noticed was the holster at your hip, equipped with the clearest symbol of your time at SEES. The pistol which remarked a marked fixture of your memories, unshakeable in your mind. "I don't know if I should be using that or my mask to summon my persona." Just to be sure you had one you felt around your face, fingers running across smooth porcelain.

"Whichever you feel more comfortable with."

Makoto nodded at Akira's words, but looked you over one more time with a small smile on her face. "Disregarding that, I think your outfit suits you. Is that the jacket from your school uniform?" Your head jerked down to pull at your jacket, and sure enough, on a closer inspection it really was the male uniform jacket with enough modifications to resemble one of those long Phantom Thief coats. 

"I think so," you replied, before you looked down at the rest. Underneath your little easter egg jacket seemed to be a modern take on a hanfu similar to the one you recalled Chang'e wearing, just to match with your persona. You had a pair of dark tights perfect for blending into a dark backdrop, and comfortable boots that may have boosted your height a little. It was a little hard to tell how it looked overall from your general perspective, but Ann was quick to reassure you otherwise.

"You look great!" she said, but you had a nagging feeling that she would consider a wide range of things great to protect your feelings. "And your mask is really cute."

You didn't know if you wanted cute to be the first thing they thought of. Casually, you tugged the mask off and ignored the blood flooding down your face as you flipped it around to get a good look. Futaba immediately elbowed Akira, who rummaged around for a healing item as Yusuke nodded to himself for whatever reason. "Are those bunny ears?" you asked, a little surprised.

"I believe so." Yusuke nodded again. Ann tossed a bandage at him, which he placed in your hands as he continued talking. "It is remarkable how your outfit appears so cohesive yet unconcordant at the same time. Almost like someone combined a bunch of unrelated things and tried to make it work." You awkwardly plastered the bandage on your head, and the bleeding came to a stop. Horribly unscientific. 

"I hope that's a compliment." When you took a second glance, you silently agreed with him. "I think the mask is to represent the Jade Rabbit that accompanies Chang'e." It was cute, you could admit. After a moment more of staring you placed it back on your face and patted down your clothes. Now for the important part: you took out your gun and under a sea of hesitant looks, pressed the muzzle to your head, and pulled the trigger. You were not shot through the head, contrary to Phantom Thief belief. 

Chang'e emerged from you, proud and glowing just enough to begin to hurt your eyes. Just like in your palace, she had lost the doll joints and distantly mechanical appearance in favor of a more human one. It was a little sad to think you had lost that extra connection to the past, but an HD remake was necessary in some cases. "Well, I'm glad everything seems to be in working order," you murmured, unsummoning Chang'e. "Alright! You should let me take care of the next shadows we run into?"

"I don't want to question your abilities," began Makoto slowly, "but are you sure you want to start pushing yourself? I mean, you've only just gotten back your persona..."

"Oh, don't even worry about it." You had also taken the liberty to try and sense your persona's level, and although that was impossible since you weren't the protagonist, you had a good sense of where she stood power-wise. And that standing was only a bit more rusty than Chang'e at her peak, which was perfectly fine for Mementos at its current state. "I'll be fine, but don't worry, I'll let you guys know if I need help."

"Mona." Akira gave you a nod before turning to his buddy. "Go run some over."

"You mean shadows?" He looked exasperated, but shifted into his car form anyways. "Fine, get on." You did exactly as asked, and soon enough Akira caught sight of shadows and ruthlessly slammed Morgana into them. He looked towards you as Morgana shed his bus form, likely his way of telling you to go ahead.

Physically, you weren't as fit as you used to be. Mentally, however, you saw this as no big deal. You only summoned Chang'e and used a simple physical damage skill against the three shadows, damaging them enough to the point where it took one bullet for each to completely vanquish them.

There was a silence spread thin across the Phantom Thieves, and you wondered if it'd have been more impressive if you tried using Mahamaon to instantly kill them. Instead it was enthusiasm they wore towards you, crowding around you with bright eyes. "Wow, you're actually really strong!" Foot, meet mouth. "I mean, I knew you were but—it's just different seeing it, you know?" Ann quickly amended, waving her hands frantically.

"I'm not offended or anything," you replied good-naturedly. "I know you guys haven't seen me use my persona yet, and it's true my shadow's powers were exaggerated."

"Not by a lot," Futaba commented. "You're really good."

"Really?" You couldn't help but smile, even as you hid it with the back of your hand. "Thank you. I'll be sure to help out a lot now!" You pumped a fist just to show off your enthusiasm, but then felt a bit old afterwards. Despite how often they told you that your age difference wasn't very big, you still couldn't help but think of them as far younger than they really were. The pains of aging, perhaps. 

Before, they might've cautiously warned you against overworking yourself. Maybe they'd have tossed over an SP restoration item for you out of concern. But now they all nodded and agreed in their own way, perhaps not as enthusiastically as you'd have liked but forgiving in their leniency. "I look forward to working with you," said Akira, and he held out his hand for you to shake.

"Mm. Me too." You clasped his hand tightly, and wondered if Mitsuru would let you into the Shadow Operatives if you asked now.

But of course, duty called and before long you had finally become a victim of Akira's terrible extortion technique, where he would complete everything possible in the same session, human limits be damned. He certainly spared no hesitation in running you through the wringer, especially considering your persona had far greater spellcasting stamina than the others. Maybe it wasn't such a good idea to show off after all.

"Do you always have to do this?" Ryuji groaned, once Akira finally released his terrible hold on you and decided it was about time to head back to reality. "My bruises have bruises at this point."

Akira gave a single, passionate nod. "Hardship builds character."

"The eff it does!" Still, for all his complaints afterwards Ryuji had not once suggested they stop. Akira was surprisingly good at gauging the maximum limits of a person and stopped just before they hit that peak. "I just know my arms are going to be sore tomorrow."

Makoto rummaged around in her bag. "I bought some of these patches for sore muscles earlier, if you're interested."

"Oh dang, really? I'll take one." 

She procured a whole box of them, and proceeded to hand two out to everyone like it was some sort of ration. "Alright, don't stay up too late. We have school—and work—tomorrow. And make sure you start thinking about what to bring to Hawaii."

"Sure thing, Mom." Futaba snickered a little, but regained her composure soon after. "Alright, bye!"

You said your goodbyes and went your separate ways home. During your journey in particular you thought about the ways in which you could discreetly mention to Mitsuru that you wanted to start using up those vacation days. She called often just to check in on you after the palace revelation, and you couldn't really fault her for that. It would be a good opportunity to bring up your desire to fly to Hawaii now.

"So, I was thinking..." was what you decided to go with. "If the company isn't too busy, would it be okay if I used my vacation days? The Phantom Thieves are heading to Hawaii, and I was hoping I could go too."

She fell silent, and you crossed and uncrossed your legs on the couch wondering if it was a good silence or a bad silence. "I'll give you paid vacation days," she replied, shocking you into crossing them under your legs instead, all criss-cross-applesauce. "When is it? How long? Two weeks? Take three off. Also, let me book you tickets and a hotel. I've got connections in Hawaii too. Where specifically?"

"Mitsuru-senpai, you don't have to do that much for me!" you quickly replied, mind reeling at her rapid onslaught of questions. "We're leaving on the evening of the seventh, it's four days, and in Honolulu. You already pay me so much, how can I possibly not afford tickets and a hotel room?"

"You would get economy and a cheap four star hotel," Mitsuru replied. "I'm not saying it's a bad thing, but I think you should enjoy your vacation more. Don't worry, this is nothing to me." Contrary to whatever she believed, that did not make you feel any better. At all.

"They're perfectly fine! I mean, economy class means you have more people nearby to talk to, and four star hotels just have a one star difference from the five star ones, you know? Besides, I have plenty of vacation days. You're already so good to me, and it wouldn't feel right if you took care of everything." You were quite proud of your argument, but she then turned it around on you.

"And I've always felt like I should do more for you," she easily said. "You're a very important friend of mine before you're one of my subordinates. If you want to pay me back, you should send me a picture of yourself having fun." Her tone was gentle, and if you imagined hard enough you could see her smile in satisfaction.

You knew you couldn't win against Mitsuru. Every time you tried she would shut you down, like with paying for college, like with your job, like with the yukata from the festival just a while prior. Guilt over your boyfriend, maybe, but you were starting to think that maybe it really was because you were friends too. "Alright," you relented, with a great big sigh to make obvious your displeasure. "But you have to let me know if there's anything you need too! A friendship should be give and take, not just buying everything for someone. You should do that with Yukari."

Her voice was lighthearted. "I'm afraid I don't know what you mean," she replied, which was a big fat lie. She knew exactly what you meant. "Regardless, I'm looking forward to your trip. You should tell us all how it goes."

"Wouldn't that be kind of annoying? I mean, Yukari and Fuuka are very nice about it, but..."

"No, really." There was a bit of typing from her end as she paused, no doubt looking up hotel reservations already. "Besides, normally it's always Junpei talking about Chidori before she gets fed up and comes in from her studio." She was, of course, referring to the biweekly conferences you had with SEES. Mitsuru set it into motion after that palace reveal of yours, and to your great surprise everyone always made time to drop by and chat. 

"Well, if you're sure..." You'd have to make sure something fun happened, if she was that desperate for content. "Alright, but next time you'll have to let me pay for your vacation."

"It's a deal." You ended the call not too soon after and though the actual trip wasn't until a few days later, you were just as excited as an elementary schooler the day before a field trip. Eventually, you resigned yourself to stalking around your room hunting down the necessities. There was a swimsuit you got for a company trip a year or so ago that still fit, a bottle of neglected sunscreen sitting in a drawer, and a pair of sunglasses gathering dust somewhere in your closet.

"What do I wear on vacation?" you asked yourself, rifling through your clothes. Yukari would suggest something chic and cute, and though you were inclined to trust an actual model you felt a little too old. Man, if any of your friends heard you they'd probably smack you over the head and talk about how every protagonist in a romance drama was in her late twenties or early thirties. That was true, but you also had a lot more life experience than those protagonists, and all you could feel now was how time was passing by much too fast. 

Hm... Maybe you should just call SEES after all. Or, no, you couldn't trust Junpei or Akihiko. Neither could you with Shinjiro, but he preferred to stay out of SEES business. Ken was at the age where he was becoming more refined, so maybe. Koromaru for sure had some great thinking going on in his doggy brain. Mitsuru's taste was more expensive than you liked, so maybe she could be a second opinion. And, of course, there was Yukari and Fuuka, the two you trusted the most. You resolved to call them sometime and with that all sorted out, crawled back into bed and slept soundly. 

You dreamt of nothing, but perhaps that was for the best. And when morning came, you were positively refreshed and ready to go to work. You'd have to wrap up all your business soon before you took your Hawaii trip...ugh, that meant you couldn't go with the others traipsing around Mementos unless necessary. 

A day or so later, Mitsuru texted you out of the blue your ticket and hotel booking. She opted for just a few days earlier, so you could "enjoy the sights without chaperoning for those kids" in her words. Still, you took one look at the information she sent you and ascended straight to heaven. You could see Minato and Akinari and even Mitsuru's dad waiting for you at the pearly gates. "Mitsuru, this is a first class plane ticket."

"Is there a problem? I always fly like this." Oh, there was definitely one. Your idea of splurging on a trip was to get a lane seat in economy instead of a middle seat, not jumping right to first class with its actual beds and in-flight showers. "From Tokyo to Honolulu is around eight hours, anyways. You should enjoy yourself."

"I'll be enjoying myself in Hawaii!" But the deed was done, and with a heavy heart you had to accept that your friend was trying to drag you under the guillotine with her. You still had to finish off your last project for work and catch up with the Phantom Thieves, who would be at Hawaii just a few days after you. "So let me know once you guys arrive!" you told Akira in a call, double checking to make sure your suitcase could carry everything. "Or don't, it's up to you guys if you want me to show up. I just wanted to go to Hawaii anyways, so it's cool."

"I'll let you know," he said, which you understood to be his way of telling you that he wanted you to be there. If he was Minato that would be it, but they were two different people so perhaps you didn't need to be analyzing his words so closely. You hung up and finally lugged your suitcase over to your scale, waiting to see if you needed to start taking out some things. Luckily you didn't.

When it seemed like you were all prepared you set an alarm just a few hours earlier than your flight. You had already been well informed airport security in Japan didn't need you arriving half a day early like with a certain other country. You dreamt of nothing and when you woke you hailed a cab and strolled around the airport lounge in your boredom.

The flight was excessively luxurious, but since you still considered yourself a proper middle class citizen you could only sleep for much of it, trying not to look too hard at all the free services provided to you. And then—Hawaii, in all its tropical breeziness and humid air. It was a stark contrast to the dry air conditioning of the plane, and you took a moment to try to get used to the feeling. 

Before long you had gotten enough of standing around by the entrance so you enlisted your trust Uber app to get a ride to the fancy hotel Mitsuru had to pay god knows how much to get you a reservation. The sun was on its way to setting once you finished checking in and setting your suitcase down. Mitsuru had apologized for not being able to reserve the presidential suite and only getting a junior suite instead, as if you weren't perfectly fine with sleeping on the roof or in someone's closet. You didn't know the first thing about hotel rooms, but one quick search at the average presidential suite price made you very glad she didn't get to waste her money on something like that.

You took a quick shower, got a change of clothes, and strolled right back out in search of something nice to drink. If you were getting hammered, which you were not by any means advocating for, it would have to be before the kids arrived. Then you'd have to actually act like a twenty-something and not a frat boy newly introduced to badly mixed drinks. You strolled on into the bar at the hotel, very succinctly directing towards the bartender, "Can you get me whatever tourists like to drink here?"

"Sure, you look like you'd like a Blue Hawaii." He paused, as if gauging your interest level, and you nodded when you realized he was waiting for your input. "Can I see some ID?"

"Yeah, let me get that." Luckily you brought a bag with you, and you rummaged through for your passport. This would've been so much easier if you had an American driver's license, but alas, some things were not meant to be. "Is this fine?"

"Ah, you're from Japan?" He turned back regardless, picking up different bottles of drinks you were barely legal enough to drink. "Your English is great. You sound like a local."

"Mm." There was more to that this bartender would never understand, but you'd accept it as a compliment. "Is that so? Thank you, I've been practicing. Oh, do you have any travel tips for me?"

He took a moment to finish shaking the drink, before garnishing with pineapple and one of those little popup umbrellas, sliding it across the counter for you. "First, I need to inform you that you can only order one drink at a time, and you can't take it outside of the premises. And to answer your question, sunscreen. If you're going snorkeling, make sure it's reef safe, but otherwise save yourself from sunburn." He laughed a little sheepishly. "Otherwise, I'm not really sure what to say."

You nodded sympathetically. "Oh, right, it's a bit tough for locals to give advice. Whenever someone visits Tokyo I have to research all the stuff on my own since it all feels like common sense." You chatted for a while longer before you polished off your drink and decided to go for a walk at night.

It was late enough for even the most wizened of college students to fear for their health when you returned to your hotel room and crashed for the night. The next morning you went right for the beaches, and the morning after that you schedules a trip for the Iolani Palace. When Akira and his friends finally touched down you had tried out every tourist-y cocktail and done as much as humanely possible in just three days.

You met them on the beach the next morning, acting as if you hadn't gone just a little wild the night before. "It's good to see you guys!" you exclaimed, before taking a hurried step backwards. "Actually, will your teachers get suspicious if they see me with you?"

"It's fine, don't worry," Ann insisted. "Actually, Nijima here is our chaperone. Besides, I'll just say you're our, uh, big sister!" She nodded very confidently, as if she had come up with a foolproof strategy. "Also, you look great! Where'd you get all those leis from anyways?"

You poked at one of the three around your neck. "I keep getting hit on by tourists who think giving me these are romantic," you admitted. Ann's expression suddenly morphed into something more sympathetic.

"I understand," she solemnly said. "I totally get what you mean."

You nodded along with her, and then having had enough of the mood, clapped your hands together. "Well, they smell nice so I'm not complaining! Should we take a picture? Let's take a picture." You still had to pay off that debt to Mitsuru, first of all, so you ushered them in along you and had Akira take the picture with his long arms. When you received your phone back to take a look you decided you rather liked how it turned out.

You sent it to Mitsuru, before noticing another text from Sae.

-

Nijima Sae 💕

How's your vacation going?

-

"Oh, Makoto, come here real quick." She didn't question you and quickly you passed your phone back to Akira so he could take a picture of the two of you.

-

You

Attached: [IMG_12345]

we're both great!! thank you for asking 💕

Nijima Sae 💕

Of course.

I look forward to having lunch again once you're back.

-

You hadn't quite realized how uncovered your glee was, until Ryuji sighed in his own exaggerated way. "Is she always like this with your sister?" he asked.

"Yes. I don't think it's a bad thing, however." Makoto casually flipped her hair in a manner you could only describe as smug. "I think they both suit each other." Her voice was lighthearted enough for you to pass it off as a joke, which you absolutely did.

"Wouldn't a normal sister accuse me of gold digging?" you playfully asked. "Oh, right, are you guys going shopping? I've got to get some souvenirs for everyone so I'll come along and help pay off the expenses."

"We brought our own money," Ann quickly insisted. "But please! It'd be nice to not be the only translator." That you could understand, so together you set off with them to traverse the most expensive, tourist-trappy stores in all of Hawaii. Tomorrow you'd see Yusuke and a few days after that you'd be back in Japan, ready to face off against the Phantom Thieves' next target.

There was a bit of apprehension in your stomach for the days to come. There were lives at stake, after all, and one person in particular you wanted to be the most careful of. You looked to Akira, who appeared none the wiser. He looked back and tilted his head a little quizzically. "It's nothing," you told him, and smiled for good measure. You'd do something about it, but for now you had all the time in the world to relax.

Chapter Text

"...are you ready?" asked Yukari, waiting at your door. You nodded, fumbling with your ribbon. "I can—if you want—"

"It's okay," you told her, shakily knotting the ribbon with a less-than dramatic flourish of your hands. "I should learn how to do this on my own."

She lowered the hand she had reached out, likely out of habit. "Ah, yeah... Well, it'd be bad if we were late on the first day back. Fuuka's waiting downstairs, so we should hurry."

You picked up your bag and flew out the door alongside Yukari, rushing down the stairs while brushing off your uniform. You quite nearly crashed into Fuuka, who quickly stepped out the way and grabbed your shoulder to steady you. "Please be careful," she tittered just as Yukari landed beside you.

"Seriously, you might trip!" Still, they were well accustomed to your method of rushing into things head first, and didn't spend too much time lecturing you. You traversed the same path to the school, speaking of light topics and hopes for the coming school year. When you stepped past the gates of the school you thought of the one person who wouldn't be attending school with you. It wasn't enough to send you spiraling that same trail of loneliness, but it stung. 

It came as a bit of a surprise that you ended up in the same homeroom as everyone else. A little bit, but you thought of Mitsuru and her vice grip on the school faculty, and then it didn't feel so surprising after all. You sat down, took out your notebook and pencil case, and made the fatal mistake of looking out the window.

Cherry blossoms and a bright blue sky. Was this natural, a sky so blue? Without thinking your mouth opened a little, and your eyes glazed over as you thought of this day one year ago. Was it really so long ago? You hesitantly walked to the school gates with him, still uncomfortable in a world you had seen only through a screen, and he had been infallibly patient leading you to class.

There was a tap on your shoulder. "Are you okay?" Yukari asked, with concern that would never quite melt away for the rest of her life. She would look at you almost the same way she did before his death in the future, but in the back of her mind there would always be that thought—I don't want to hurt her.

"I'm fine," you whispered back, tearing your gaze away from the window. It would still take you time to adjust, especially in a place so reminiscent of him. With your pencil to the paper, you used any hesitant thoughts for energy to keep up in class. And it wasn't such a waste, after all, when the first exam came by and you found yourself first place for the third years. If Minato were here, surely he would be number one. Surely you would be second place, and what wouldn't you give for just that chance again.

But you were here to pick up his mantle where he dropped it, and you picked it up with fervor and enthusiasm that worried your friends. You studied far more often than before, putting real energy into exceeding your classes and tests. "You should sleep," Fuuka had come to tell you more than once, as you read through your books and scribbled down answers to practice problems at night.

"University of Tokyo," you replied, never looking away from the page. "He said I should apply there, so I can't disappoint him."

She wanted to object, but different people responded to grief differently, and you knew they all preferred you spend your time studying rather than moping and generally being concerning. "Alright," she relented, "but don't stay up too late..."

"I know. Thank you." You smiled at her pleasantly, and she seemed to fluster a little, smiling back before she carefully closed the door behind you and slinked off to her own room. And then there was silence, descending upon your room like a heavy fog, stifling your every breath. At this point, it even became a comfort. The scratch of your pen and the quiet breaths you took punctuated the quiet, and eventually you withdrew from your textbooks and got ready for bed.

This was how your school days went, generally. Without the dark hour you had more time to hang out with your friends, even if the upperclassmen were missing. There was no more worrying for your life, no more crawling up a twisted dungeon late at night. The nights no longer turned the air green, and the moon hung round and sweet with no regard for the man it had swallowed up earlier that year. 

And you moved on. Tried to. It didn't help that everyone in the school was careful around you that school year, as if they all were privy to your torrid, fanciful romance with the guy announced as dead by the principal. Actually, they probably were considering how willing you were to flaunt around your relationship, because to you it was your most important thing. Proof of your existence, silly as was, proof that you had an effect on this world despite having come from a different one.

"Good work," Hidetoshi would say to you more often, when passing you in the hallways. "First place again. You're very impressive."

"Thank you," you'd smile back, and this was a little game the two of you played. You knew he was concerned for you after the death of your boyfriend and his friend, but he would never admit it outright. So he disguised his concern with classic student council member to student chat, as if you couldn't see right through it. As if he didn't know you could see right through it.

And that was why it was a dance. "Do your best for the next one," he'd say. "But take care of yourself first and foremost."

"I'll keep that in mind," you'd respond, and thus would end your conversation. This was the only thing you could say to each other, with no more connection to be had. At least Rio had more leeway with outright telling you how worried she was, with how close you were.

"Are you lost in thought again?" she'd ask you. "Come on, help me clean up the volleyballs instead." You thought of a volleyball manga in the future, and smiled to yourself. Ah, you'd definitely be telling Minato about that if he were still here. And he'd listen oh so seriously, nod along when you talked about how a volleyball anime had you crying into your hands, but now you had no one to listen to you talk of the future. Because with anyone else you might get branded a freak or receive some concerned looks.

Oh, there went your one confidant, among many other things. "Hey," Rio was saying again, voice gentle. "Do you need a break? Some water?"

"I'll help," you quickly replied, before the creeping thoughts could get to you. "Should I collect the cones while you get the balls?"

"Yeah. That'd be great." You didn't miss the way she looked back to you as you collected the cones. Everyone seemed to have joined together in a protect-the-poor-widow club, from just your classmates to your social links. You weren't ignorant of people you had never talked to before suddenly hiding their MP3 players and blatantly avoiding topics like last year, the apathy disease, and the tower in the sky. 

You didn't know who told them these were all related to your dead boyfriend, but it certainly meant they were all careful around you. You were just as touched as you were put off by all their efforts, for just you. Were you so weak that they needed to break you out of your thoughts of him when they dragged on just a normal amount?

"Hey, I can foot the bill this time," said Junpei on your frequent outings for beef bowls at Hagakure. "I've been doing work recently. Gotta think about the future, you know?"

"I'm so proud of you!" you announced to him, pulling him into a hug he reluctantly accepted. You knew he was really just trying to cheer you up in his own way, and that thought in itself made you happy. "Alright, just this once. Show me how rich you are, and maybe you'll start rivaling Mitsuru-senpai."

"Yeah, I got this." He forked over some cash for your meals, and grinned boisterously, hooking back a thumb to point to himself. "See? I got it in the bag."

"You do, you do," you assured him, and in some ways it felt like you were the one consoling him until you noticed his careful look, and the smile lowered from your lips. Ah, right, eggshells. Always walking on them around your friends. You loved them dearly, but they treated you so preciously sometimes. "Should we head back now?"

"Yep, I'll walk with you." Because normally it was someone else, but he was unavailable. Everyone else escorted you back now, creating some sort of schedule to ensure there was always someone keeping you from getting lost or running off at the first sight of a dog. Yukari and Fuuka filled up most of those days, but even Junpei and Shinjiro came to fill in. And Ken, walking Koromaru with him. You were infinitely thankful, but it was still a little disheartening.

Even the senpai came back to visit during their breaks, even having gone to universities outside of Tatsumi Port Island. Often it was Akihiko who dropped by with some souvenir or another, having been thoroughly coached by Yukari and Fuuka to start bringing material goods instead of some new boxing technique. "And how's school been going for you?" he'd ask, not too unlike a well-intentioned, but a little out of the loop older brother.

He'd rub your head and listen to everything you had to say, even if he didn't quite understand it. "I know you're stressed about university, but trust me, you can probably get into any you want."

It wasn't school you were stressed about, but meeting the standards you set for yourself. But you couldn't exactly explain that to him, so you nodded, smiled, and told him you'd take more breaks. And wasn't that great, that you seemed to be finding your own place after the aftermath, that you seemed to be able to handle the heartbreak. Nothing more to worry about, for those friends you kept so dear to your heart. Nothing but clear skies, an expanse of blue without him.

Needless to say, you weren't taking it as well as they thought you were. It rained all week and all weekend once, and you had slipped out Sunday evening in pursuit of a familiar gravestone. The rain pelted at your cheeks, but you ignored the feeling, kneeing at the grass. "I'm sorry," you mumbled, pressing rain-soaked hands against your eyes. "I can't even be happy like you wanted me to." And that was the spirit of love, wasn't it? Wanting the best for the one you loved, even without you. Nothing selfish. Nothing so self-serving.

It must've been an eternity, kneeling before his grave. Your hair matted over with rain, but you could only sigh to yourself and think of the past. Oh, how sweet those days were, but now all those happy memories soured away and turned flaky with hurt. You couldn't just think of a day at the beach without thinking of the ignorance that allowed you to treat it as just another day, let you live so freely without trying to savor every minute. 

"I am," you murmured, dipping your head in shame, "so sorry. So, so sorry." You could do nothing but apologize. You studied so hard to get into the school he named on a whim. You forced yourself into a happy little façade for the sake of your mutual friends, who cared so much for you it made you sick. Sick to the stomach, sick to the bone, oh how low you had fallen.

The rain, which had pelted so relentlessly at you, lifted. Instead they pattered incessantly at the tarp of an umbrella, held aloft by a familiar figure. When you looked up, Fuuka was looking down at you with that same expression, muted horror intermingling with great, deep sorrow. This was why you didn't want any of them to look for you.

"I thought you'd be here," she mumbled, near imperceivable in the rain. "Everyone's worried about you...we should head back."

"Ah...I'm sorry for worrying you." You drew into yourself a little, hugging your arms to yourself. You didn't expect her to kneel down beside you, dirtying her own clothes as she set her umbrella into the crook of her arm to cup your cheeks in hers.

"Don't! Don't be sorry for that." She looked so pained, but for whatever reason you didn't know. "You shouldn't ever be sorry. We worry about you because you're our friend, but don't ever feel like you shouldn't be reacting the way you are." She chewed her lip, with an intensity that made you worry she'd draw blood.

"Fuuka?"

"It's not easy. I know. I know you must be going through so much, and..." She drew you into a hesitant hug, even as your clothes soaked hers. "You aren't a burden. You have nothing to be sorry for. This isn't something you have to go through yourself, even if it seems like it. There's only so much we can help with, but..."

There you went again, worrying those closest to you. She said such pretty words, but did she understand that you just couldn't follow them? It was one thing, to understand that they loved you unconditionally, but it was another to truly believe it. Somewhere along the line their support had become a shackle. Another expectation. You had tied so much of yourself to Minato, your worries and joys and beliefs, and once he was gone those were gone with him. 

"Fuuka... Thank you. Thank you so much." But you knew what the right thing to say here was. You understood, to a frightening degree, what you had to say in order for them to move on with their lives and leave you be. "I'm...kind of cold now. Can we head back?"

She drew back from you instantly, quickly grabbing your hand in hers. "Of—of course! Yukari's already getting hot chocolate and you really should take a hot shower and change your clothes—" She pulled you along, babbling about what everyone else was doing. You spared one last glance back at Minato's gravestone, before following her down the street and back into the dorm.

You learned one thing. If there was any grief to be felt, it had to be secretly. You made sure you took breaks around the others from your studying, and when you visited his gravestone you brought someone else with you. Someone to hear you speak out loud to him about how you were moving on. It was a farce, all of it.

"I've got nothing to say, really," Toriumi said once the time for career guidance came from. "You're already top of your grade and you're applying to a university I have no doubt you'll get into. And you wrote something in management too...you're a perfectly intelligent young lady, and I've noticed you have good social skills. It's a good fit."

"Thank you."

"If there's any questions you have, feel free to ask. I'm afraid there's nothing else I really have to say." You looked at her, almost hesitantly. In another life, she was a romance option. No, she had always been—he just never chose her. 

Maya. Toriumi. Were they close, you wondered, before his death. Close enough to be a social link, at least, since he was such a completionist about it. What kind of life did he have, outside of you? 

But you could never ask her that. She was your teacher, someone you never spoke to, and their relationship was solely theirs. "I'm fine, but I'll let you know if something comes up," you told her, and she nodded. And there went another one of his social links, another connection of his cut by the iron scissors of death.

On graduation day, everyone crowded on the rooftop. Even Mitsuru and Akihiko made time to come congratulate you all for moving on in life and out of that small school which would leave such a lasting effect on the rest of your life. Your universities had already been decided, your future careers, your future lives. 

"Still, the University of Tokyo... Man, I wish that was me!" Still, Junpei seemed in high spirits as he clapped your back, diploma loosely held in hand. If he was just a little more careless, he might've dropped it. "How does it feel, being the biggest deal in this school?"

"I hear someone's going to Tohoku," you replied instead, deflecting the topic.

"Like you couldn't have gone if you applied!" 

"Maybe. But I'm happy with what I got. And what about you? Happy with yours?" Junpei removed his arm from around your neck, scratching his cheek.

"Well—I guess? It's pretty great by my standards. Nothing like Tohoku or University of Tokyo, but—" He continued smiling, unfazed by the jealously that might've characterized his personality early on in your second year of high school. "—I'm glad. I guess I'm a little sad, though. We're all headed to different places."

"It's not like we can't meet up," Fuuka offered, holding her diploma preciously. "No matter what, we're all precious friends. Nothing will change about that."

"Hey, well said," Yukari chimed in. "That's right. Even if we're all going to different places, we've still got the bonds of friendship or whatever it was that guy said."

"Ugh, look at you being cheesy," said Junpei, with a fake gag for extra emphasis.

Yukari rolled her eyes. "Like you don't think the same thing, Stupei."

"Hey, I thought we were over that nickname!" In the distance, Mitsuru chuckled to herself and Akihiko nodded along. It was a peaceful graduation day, sprinkled with cherry blossoms and the wind turbines in the distance. Perhaps you could hope for no better.

From this day onward, you would all be moving to different walks of life. No more living in the same dormitory, or even in the same city. It would be harder to plan something with them, now that you were all growing up and ready to leave the nest. But there was one thing you were dead certain would always stay the same, besides your infallible bonds of friendship. 

"Every year, on that day..." you began, and everyone jerked their attention towards you. "Could we meet? Maybe not every year, but I'd be a little lonely dropping by his grave myself—"

"Every year," Mitsuru agreed. "I'll make time. It would be boorish of us to not do that much. Besides, it'll be a great time to catch up as well."

"I can do that," Yukari agreed. "I'm sure I won't be that busy."

One by one, everyone agreed. March fifth, the day he died. And with that, you ended that particular chapter of your life. Goodbye to your youth and your high school days—goodbye to the city which housed all those memories.

With all that said, university wasn't too different. You managed to get in on a scholarship, but Mitsuru still insisted on paying for the rest. Her excuse was that you were a bonafide orphan, with no family whatsoever. You knew the real reason was that she wanted to repay Minato for everything, and the closest way to do that was through you. Guilt, gratitude, pity, it didn't matter what the label for it was. 

You excelled in your classes. Perhaps not so much through sheer genius as through your terrible studying habits. You slept little, fueled by caffeine and your own wayward motivation. You ate when you thought of it, which really wasn't that often. And the most concerning part was the series of hospitalizations you landed, which quite frankly terrified your friends. Hospitalizations, you called them, but

Normally you'd get up, apologize to the hospital staff for ending up there again, and begrudgingly pay the bill. This time you sat up to see Mitsuru waiting there for you, and instantly you regretted every callous decision landing you in this hospital bed. "Mitsuru-senpai," you began, ever so cautious. "I hope I'm not taking up too much of your time."

"Of course not," she told you, but you could tell she wasn't going to let you walk out of the door so easily. "I asked the hospital staff. Does this happen often?"

"As often as for any normal university student," you casually told her, voice light. 

"And yet I don't hear about Yukari, Fuuka, or Junpei getting hospitalized," she replied, with a tilt of her head. "If there's anything wrong with your workload—"

You rushed to defend your professors. "My professors are fine," you quickly told her. "They're great! Very supportive. If there's any fault to be found, it's with me."

She clasped her hands in her lap. "If you need to take a gap year..."

"Thank you for your consideration, but... I want this."

She shook her head slowly, hands clasping and unclasping. It was uncharacteristic of her to look so unsure, but she appeared that way now, looking at you with the kind of hesitance you hadn't seen since her father died. "I just don't want it to be at the cost of your own health."

"I'll do better," you assured her. I'll hide it better. "It's just been really easy to lose myself in studying. I don't mean it in a bad way or anything."

"Alright." She got to her feet, heels clicking against the glossy tile floors. She walked to your side, adjusting the bouquet you only noticed just then. "I'll stay in touch. For now, putting aside your...habits when it comes to academics, I'm very impressed with your achievements. We should talk more about that sometime later."

"Of course." You watched her leave, and then sank back down into the hospital bed. Yep, it was definitely time to stop being so obvious about your need to distract yourself that even Mitsuru had to come over to Tokyo herself to lecture you. You did become better about that, if not just to make sure no one else would be worried for your sake. 

But life went on! For everyone but you, that was, and you found yourself adjusting fairly well to university life. Sometimes you thought of your dear, precious friends, the people who had greatly aided in your adjusting to a world not yours. Scattered to the wind, only to meet again once a year. Mostly you thought of the martyr in your dreams, never to be seen again. If there was a heaven, he and Ryoji probably swam at a beach in eternal summer, laughing at how silly you were being. Yes, that was your favorite little imagination of the two.

You took a few extra courses, not because it would look good on your resume, but because you wanted to. One was a developmental psychology crash course by one of the infamous professors, a former actress turned psychologist. Another one was philosophy, where you listened to all the wannabe philosophers discuss what life was like after death. You even joined a couple clubs, like some Chinese Club headed by three foreign exchange students with colorful backstories.

You were sitting in on one of those meetings now, though now that you thought about it, there hadn't been a single meeting about Chinese culture or language yet. The three board members just argued about which one of their gay friends was the most romantic. 

"Haven't you heard?" one haughtily announced, hands on hips. "Hualian invented love. You think Binghe is romantic? He's a man-baby whose only redeeming trait is his rack."

"Bold words for someone who doesn't even remember half the novel," snickered the other woman. "Binghe is the blueprint. You think there'd be a Hualian if he didn't drop by first?"

"Yeah, but Wangxian is still the most popular one. Who has as many adaptations as they do? Exactly, that's what I thought."

You pinched the bridge of your nose, sorely regretting signing up and getting yourself stuck in whatever sham of a club this was. "Can I quit now?"

They all turned back to you instantly, each grabbing onto your arm as if to prevent you from physically getting up to leave. "Oh, no no, wait, don't go," one of them said. You honestly couldn't tell the difference between them at this point. "First, which do you think is more romantic, a master-disciple relationship or—"

"—rivals to one sided pining to—"

"—a god and his only worshipper of eight—"

"—someone's throwing a party," you announced, getting to your feet as they all clamored to get their voice above the other two. "And I really hope they have alcohol. Maybe I'll go do a keg stand."

You left them behind as they continued beefing over their respective gay friends. It was a belated realization that hit you, that you hadn't quite thought of Minato during the entire meeting. You shook off the resulting guilt and resolved yourself to track down that party fast, before they ran out of drinks.

Chapter Text

It would be a lie to say you weren't a little guilty coming back from Hawaii to news of Shujin's principal's death. The fact had completely slipped your mind at the time, given he was so irrelevant to the general plot, and just maybe you didn't really feel any goodwill towards him. It didn't mean he deserved to die exactly, but heaven certainly didn't gain another angel. 

Oh well! Good riddance! You blew a kiss to the sky in repentance before you went back on your way to LeBlanc for another Phantom Thief meeting to discuss the data Makoto had filched from her sister. Minato could have half of that kiss if he was up there too, which you were certain he was. Lounging around by the poolside sipping on some sort of tropical drink, hiding underneath an umbrella while relaxing. That was the dream, surely.

There was one thing you were sure would come up today, and that was the big fight between Morgana and Ryuji. You greeted Sojiro and twisted your head this way and that thinking to yourself as you clambered up the stairs and waved at the others. Morgana was the one to find Haru and recruit her as a Phantom Thief, but you could also do that. Probably.

Oh, what did it matter? You already messed up plenty of other things in the long run, so you could handle this much. You took a seat and offered just enough nods and occasional comments they let you be while they discussed the important things. Mostly, you sat and waited. It didn't take long before Morgana and Ryuji began bristling at each other, and when Morgana turned to jump off the table you reached out and picked him up, effectively caging him in your arms as he struggled to get free.

In a hierarchy of things hardest to hold onto, a cat trying to wiggle free was probably third place. They were remarkably slippery, and even now Morgana threw his paws around, hissing and shouting as everyone else blankly stared at you. "First of all," you said, adjusting your grip, "if you're a mentor to the Phantom Thieves, shouldn't you act more like one?"

"What do you even mean?" he shouted, still squirming around. You noticed he didn't jump to shredding your arms yet, thank god. 

"You taught the others how to steal distorted desires and wield their personas, right? Of course, not including me since I've had mine for years, but you still got them started. So why are you acting like a child throwing a tantrum now?" And just so Ryuji wouldn't get too comfortable you needed to point out his flaws too, as much as you loved him. "And before I even finish with you, Morgana, you're also in the wrong here, Ryuji. When it comes to the Phantom Thieves you need to keep a cool head and be both secretive and responsible, and that includes not fighting back."

"Yeah, Ryuji," Morgana snapped.

"And why are you getting so snappy?" You shook your head, sighing deeply. "You've been insulting him this whole time. And you're the one I had to grab before you ran off to try to prove everyone wrong, for what? For the sake of keeping your pride intact? I understand that you think they just want popularity, but have you considered that this sort of business is exactly the kind of thing you want to think about before rushing off on?"

As expected, it was now where Morgana began to get upset. "And what would you know?" he hissed, paws scrabbling at your arms. He drew blood, but it didn't bother you. You had been in plenty of scrapes far worse than getting pawed at by a cat. "You don't get it!"

"Then explain it to me. You're feeling lonely because everyone's grown to be capable on their own now? You're feeling slighted because they don't need your full guidance anymore? Upset because there's still no leads on your identity? Discontent because you think they care more about popularity than the treasure?" You pulled him out of your arms to sit on your lap, facing him directly. "Do I need to remind you that your own desire for treasure has put the team in danger before?"

His shoulders raised again, as with his tail. "So? At least I'm trying to do something, instead of figure out who gives the most publicity!"

"And is that a bad thing?" Behind you, Ann and Akira were whispering and rummaging around the room for something. "We live in an age where public opinion is just as effective as money. Not to mention the Metaverse is a result of people's cognition. People together have power, the same reason why Nyx had to rise in the first place. If the Phantom Thieves want to keep reaching higher and higher to get the power they need to find your identity, then staying on the side of the general public is a good thing."

He had nothing else to say, and just as he was about to spit back a one liner you saw Ann rush over to pry Morgana out of your arms. Tried to, at least. "Hey, Morgana, let go!" Ann hissed. "Can't you see she's bleeding?"

Sure enough, Morgana looked down to see a couple scratches on your arms. He at least had a conscience, so he went limp as Ann picked him up and set him on the table again. To his credit, he didn't take the chance to run. He only dipped his head and had the sense to look remorseful as Akira sat beside you on the couch with an old first aid kit. He worked methodically cleaning your wounds, and you let him stick bandaids all over your arms as you raised an eyebrow at Morgana.

"I think an apology from both of you is in order," you began. "Ryuji isn't intentionally trying to give away the Phantom Thieves, and though it seems like he only cares about popularity, I'm sure he knows better. You can't be calling him names and belittling him either, since he's your teammate. And Ryuji, you can't keep antagonizing Morgana either. Besides, it's true you have mentioned using Phantom Thief popularity for selfish reasons before, and even if you mean it as a joke, it's not always apparent."

"...sorry," Ryuji mumbled, hanging his head. "I guess you're right... I prolly shouldn't have said all that stuff. My bad."

Morgana looked at you, everyone else, and then back to Ryuji. "Well... I guess it would be in poor taste if I didn't apologize too. Sorry for caring too much about the Phantom Thieves."

"Morgana." Makoto crossed her arms behind Ryuji.

"...sorry for being mean to you and misunderstanding."

You clapped your hands together, nodding enthusiastically. "There we go! That wasn't so hard, was it? Anyways, I think we should take on Okumura, but that's just my opinion. Feel free to think for a little longer." Instead of debating about whether to take on a capitalist bastard or not, everyone else only stared at you.

Futaba eyed your arms then Akira. "Wow, did you use the whole box?" she asked. "Morgana really did a number on you." You looked down to see both arms littered in bandaids, and a completely empty box of them in Akira's hands. Great, now it looked look you had crawled arm-first through a field of broken glass.

"Sorry," Morgana said with far more genuinity than he had shown towards Ryuji. "I won't do it again, so please don't try to trim my nails again." 

"If you're just doing that much to her arms, imagine what would happen to the furniture..." commented Yusuke. 

"Does it hurt?" Makoto asked, walking closer to take one of your arms in hers. "Next time you should be more aware of yourself," she directed towards Morgana.

"I'll trim your nails," said Akira, getting up to rummage around the room. "And make sure those scratches don't get infected." 

Seriously, they were just a few scratches. You could do the exact same if you itched at your arms long enough. "I'll be fine!" you told them, but they only sighed and shook their heads. Your smile froze awkwardly on your face, and you suddenly had this feeling that although you were the oldest by a long shot, that you had just perfectly resolved an argument with your mature, grown up, tax-paying skills, the Phantom Thieves still thought of you like a younger sister they had to protect.

This was a terrible blow to your dignity, and you could only put your face in your hands while they panicked and asked if Morgana clawed a little too hard at you. Never change, Phantom Thieves, you bitterly thought. 

By the time the meeting concluded, you had gotten them to agree to take on Okumura as the next target. Still, you couldn't help but think on your way home. Your memories of the future was definitely less clear than it used to be, but you still had to keep the final palace in mind. Shido's whole thing was that all the previous palaces had supported him in some way, so by convincing them to take on Okumura...was that the same as driving them to their doom in facing Shido?

No, no, that wasn't right. They had to take on Okumura to set that chain of dominoes falling. You had the end goal in sight, a future where Akira walked free and everyone could live peacefully. It was the same future that awaited any high school group of persona users. Their year-long journey would come to an end and it would be time to grow up. Just like SEES, just like the Investigation Team. 

Sae had been meeting with you less after that. You couldn't blame her. You were entering a period where everything would come clicking together, and somewhere in the future Akira was telling her all about it. How would she react once she found out the person she complained to over lunch was part of the very people she wanted to catch?

"Are you sure you should be saying this much?" you asked her instead, taking another bite of your salad. Say what you want, but Sae had an uncanny sense for which small trendy restaurant had good food. "I mean, I work in a trading company, not the law."

Sae took an almost aggressive bite of her salad. "It's not like you can't find anything I'm saying in a Google search," she muttered, but you didn't quite believe her. Maybe if I hacked into some confidential files, you mean, you thought, but didn't voice it. Despite all your snarky thoughts none of what she was telling you was new information. Did Sae know you had a previous life as a Persona fan and retained most of what you knew back then? Definitely not, but the way she was referencing the mental shutdown cases...

She was going to be so embarrassed when Akira revealed you were a Phantom Thief. Without a doubt. "I'll take your word for it, then," you declared, and went back to chatting as if nothing was wrong. To Sae, maybe, but to you, thinking of the future? This was almost torture. 

Eventually your idyllic lunch chat came to an end, and you wandered off back to work as normal. Akira was going to have you all visit Okumura's palace sooner or later, no thanks to you, and Morgana was all too pleased about it. So when that time came, you made sure to stretch a little beforehand. Getting on in the years meant you couldn't afford to be lax about keeping in shape.

"Great, you're here!" said Ann, waving you over. "We came a little early to check things out. Hopefully you didn't have to miss work?"

"Don't worry, I have an iron excuse." It was one of those things; sorry, family emergency, which you vastly preferred, or I'm friends with the CEO of this company, which you only brought out in a pinch. "Anyways, should we get started? As a team, I hope?"

Morgana and Ryuji nodded rapidly, having been on the bad side of your stern talking to just a few days prior. "Yes, ma'am," said Ryuji.

"Yes, queen," said Morgana.

"Like Nijima?" asked Yusuke.

"Like the thing you call people," replied Morgana, a touch of pride in his voice. "Akira's been teaching me internet slang."

"Don't you ever think he might be leading you on the wrong path?"

Futaba shook her head. "No, wait, let him keep going. This is funny."

Before Futaba could continue goading Akira into teaching Morgana all the wrong incel terms, you ushered them back on topic. "Let's just get into the palace, okay? I still need to get some practice in." You flexed an arm jokingly just to capitalize on your strength, and the Morgana topic evaporated quickly as everyone else nodded.

"Alright," Makoto announced. "I'll bring us in then."

Needless to say, everything else went as planned. By planned, you really meant it went as your memory went, which was honestly a big ball of fuzz now. Some things certainly happened in Okumura's palace. Puzzles and spaceships and whatnot... And there was also the matter of Haru being led along by Morgana. You subtly shot a look behind you at Morgana, who was appraising every sparkling item in the palace, likely in hopes of selling it.

Now that you had changed that, you could only hope Haru would take initiative and enter the palace herself. Or you'd have to corner her outside of the Metaverse, and quite frankly you were not desperate enough to throw away your dignity for that yet. 

"Rabbit!" Akira called, and it took you a good moment to realize that was your codename, and even longer to remember why. Some days your years and years of memories seemed to overlap each other, and you'd momentarily forget whether you were in Tokyo, Inaba, or Tatsumi Port Island. But it was the Phantom Thieves which would snap you out of such an experience, and you jerked your head up, flinging off the lunging shadow with your naginata.

"I got it!" you returned in his general direction, summoning Chang'e with ease you hadn't experienced since, well, high school. When the shadow was taken care of, you could only sigh a little, setting the tip of your naginata on the floor as you rested your arms a little. "You know, I don't think I'll be able to get used to that anytime soon." 

"What, your codename?" Ann turned around, hand hanging off her hip casually as she surveyed the rest of the room for any potential threats. "I'll be honest, mine took a little to get used to too. I think yours is cute, though!"

"Cute... I don't know, I think I'm getting a little too old for that."

Makoto sighed. "If you think you're old at twenty-two, imagine my sister."

Sae. "Isn't she only twenty-four?" You tallied on your fingers. "That's just a two year difference. She's pretty young, actually."

Futaba looked at you. "Wait. You're younger than her and yet you think you're old?"

You couldn't even begin to explain why. There was the matter of your previous life, something that felt so distant you nearly forgot about it some days. There was you having to fight a literal god and going through enough life experience for an elderly grandparent on their deathbed.

You thought of the Investigation Team, your shadow which they uncovered from the fog. She had looked at you with the same undisguisable hatred she had shown you during your palace. It was a good thing the Phantom Thieves only had one journey to experience. Just one was enough for the rest of their lives.

"I always feel old," you told Futaba, instead of voicing these pointless thoughts. "Must be the back pain."

She snorted. "In that case you really are aging fast."

"Don't make fun of her too much," Makoto chimed in, looking all too ready to defend your honor. Must've gotten that thought in her head about Sae liking you again. "By the way, is something wrong? You've been looking around this whole time."

And so you were. For Haru, obviously, but you couldn't tell them that. "Just getting into the Phantom Thief mindset. More importantly, what are the chances I can still do a backflip?"

You relished in the Phantom Thieves bending over backwards trying to convince you taking a running start at the wall and then backflipping off of the momentum was a bad idea. They didn't even realize you never knew how to backflip in the first place and only wanted to indulge in the same spontaneous stupidity which made you so popular in SEES. You pretended to let their common sense win you over as you casually made your way to the first time gate.

Normally, at this point Haru would unlock it and then run off when she and Morgana realized they were severely outmatched. Not possible now, since you had kept Morgana from discovering and then butchering the training session of Haru. You looked around the room one last time desperately for any signs of a pink-haired lady dressed like one of the three musketeers.

There was nothing. You should've expected as much. Without Morgana to bring her into the palace, there was no Haru to be brought in. Fate was not a tapestry which threaded itself, but bundles of loose silk you'd have to pick up and weave yourself. It couldn't be helped. You had understood then the consequences of your actions, and now you put the scythe to its stalks to reap. "It won't be possible to get through these for now," you said, tapping your hand against the scanner. "May I suggest we take a break for now and figure out how to proceed later?"

Yes, later. You'd go home and stay up all night trying to figure out something. Maybe you shouldn't have interfered in Morgana and Ryuji's fight so everything could topple over one by one. But you also knew you didn't have the patience to wait through their little spat, so... Maybe it wasn't such a bad thing after all. Life was nothing if not full of surprises, and even the best kept of plans would fall apart in some way.

You walked back out of the palace with the Phantom Thieves, ready to start on your precarious journey of despair and disappointment. That was what you had in mind, at least, but then you saw someone sitting on the pavement outside of the palace and your heart quickened. Just as the others quickly took note, so did you, and you broke into a wide sprint, landing in front of the person. 

She looked up, and you met eyes with Haru Okumura. Fate had a way of clicking into place sometimes—you called it fate, but you knew better. The Foreign God put the app on her phone for a reason. With or without Morgana she would've eventually walked down this road because she was made to be a persona-wielder. On whose side was really the question.

"Excuse me," you breathed out, and quickly stepped backwards. "I've never seen you here before. Are you maybe a bit confused?"

She quickly nodded, getting to her feet uncertainly. "Yes, I am. Where is this? And who are you? I was only looking at an app on my phone, but..."

And she had somehow stumbled upon the keywords. You wouldn't question it. There was perhaps an overall trajectory the Velvet Room deemed necessary. Minato dying, Narukami surviving, Haru finding her way into this palace and making contact with the Phantom Thieves. Behind you, the aforementioned band of no-good hooligans also looked at Haru in confusion, obviously not expecting to gain a new member so soon.

"We're the Phantom Thieves, actually." Behind you, Ryuji choked and Morgana made an indignant noise. You could almost hear their thoughts, going, so why is the person who agreed that secrecy was needed going around saying this without hesitation? "And if you'd like, we can tell you more."

"The Phantom Thieves?" She looked partly nervous, partly curious. At this point, the name had gone around quite a bit. Haru couldn't be ignorant of such a famous group of people, and some random person in a mask just revealed who they were. "I don't...I don't know, is that okay?"

"Of course we need to help someone in need, right? The Phantom Thieves do that." You gave her a winning smile, and tightened it as you turned back to the others. "Right?"

"Right," they all echoed back, in various degrees of approval and hesitance. But they'd come around. They had to, because this was the only course of action. You knew this and they didn't, but you would lay down near everything in order to make everything right. 

"Let's get out of here first. Does that sound good?"

Haru nodded and when you looked back Akira was already pulling out his phone to draw you out of the Metaverse. For a moment your head spun as the ground beneath you seemed to wobble, and then you were back out in the real world. Traveling between universes really did never get old. You turned back around to Haru, presenting yourself in a way you hoped rang trustworthy, and introduced yourself.

Under your watchful gaze and insistence everyone slowly introduced themselves and found a small café they squeezed into. For the next thirty minutes you watched them all recap everything that had happened thus far with a clear explanation of the Metaverse and stealing treasures from palaces. Haru took it all in quietly, nodding and responding to the brief questions flung her way.

"So...yeah." Ann finished off the story, hand on the back of her neck as she nervously looked towards you and everyone else. "Are we, you know, inviting her?" she whispered. 

"I dunno! It feels kinda sudden, don't you think?" Ryuji whispered back.

"I think we'd really benefit from your help," you said in their place, hoping to seal the deal and finish off the palace with relative ease. "We won't force you to, but if you're able to join the Metaverse you're definitely a persona user. We'd be able to help you harness your persona once you awaken, and ideally we'd be able to help change your father's heart. You probably understand just as well he's not exactly a paragon of kindness. Not to mean any offense."

Haru sighed. "None taken." Something burned over in her eyes. "Yes. He's done some terrible things to his employees I've only now come to realize. If I join the Phantom Thieves, will I be able to help him atone for that?"

"We'll make sure of it," you promised her. "Right, Akira?"

"We will," he said, just to throw around his weight as leader. 

Haru nodded once awkward, before repeating the motion a second time. "Then I want to join," she said. "If you'll have me."

"Absolutely!" you held out your hand for her to shake and she took it. You shook it once, twice, with a firm grip before pulling away your hand. Oh, Haru had other motives. You didn't need to be an expert in body language to know it. She was thinking of that fiancé of hers, arranged by her father. But these things had to be done step by step. 

First was getting deeper into Okumura's palace. Then you could "accidentally" discover the true nature of her motivation for changing her father's heart, which would put you on the path of Haru's character development arc and the end of this palace. You were already thinking ahead, to the future where Sae's palace would be over, Shido's palace would be completed, and then Mementos would be fully resolved and the Foreign God would be eliminated.

And then perhaps you'd take a vacation. A nice one, not too long. Or maybe you'd head back to Tatsumi Port Island and waste a week standing by the harbor, taking in the sea breeze and distant clouds. Or perhaps you'd find a nice rooftop close to the school and watch the wind turbines in the distance, spinning and spinning and spinning.

"Welcome to the team!" you told her, but your mind was elsewhere. You were anywhere but in that café at that moment, dreaming and dreaming of the day when this would all be over.

Chapter Text

You had nothing more than a backpack and a single suitcase when you stepped off the train, hair flying as the wind picked up. One hand flew up to your head, keeping your floppy sunhat on. It had been nice and warm when you departed, but you had a feeling the fog would eventually roll in and your cheerful fashion would no longer be appropriate.

Still, it was better than no clothes at all. You wheeled your suitcase across the tiled floor, digging around in your backpack with your free hand. Your deft fingers dragged your phone out and within moments you called Mitsuru, waiting for her to pick up. "I'm here, safe and sound! See? Nothing to worry about."

"You never know about these kinds of things," she replied gravely, but you could hear the way her voice relaxed. Probably her shoulders too. She always had this bad habit of tensing up her shoulders. "But I'm glad you're fine. Text me once you get to the inn just to be sure."

"I will, I will," you promised her, and hung up after exchanging goodbyes. If you were too late in replying she might send over people to come find you, which was...flattering, if not a little overprotective. 

You still remembered her face when you explained to her you were taking some time off college right in the beginning of the semester to briefly to visit a town in the middle of nowhere, isolated from the big city. But you had explained to her that your professors agreed, seeing your exemplar work and heartfelt promise to complete assignments by returning them digitally. And in the end she couldn't stop you when you were determined to do something.

You had this notion, this little wiggling in the back of your mind, that she was glad to see you go in her own way. With the way you were working in college, it was like witnessing your slow death. 

Your feet clicked on the floor as you emerged from the train station. The fog had not yet rolled in, good for you. You spared a glance at your phone, which had Google Maps directing you towards Amagi Inn. Once you confirmed you were walking in the right direction you turned this way and that, taking the opportunity to sight-see a little. But there was nothing much in Inaba, really. Buildings, sidewalks, the occasional person who looked at you strangely. 

It was a quaint little town. A bit rural for sure. Nothing like bustling Tokyo, crowded with so many people no matter where you were. Here the streets were quiet, and if you closed your eyes you could almost pretend you were in Tatsumi Port Island. But to you, Tatsumi Port Island was far prettier and far sadder. Inaba was just empty, in a sense. 

Eventually you reached your destination at the Amagi Inn, checked in, and wandered to your room with only a little extra staring at Amagi Yukiko, who looked at you funny in an oddly polite way. You texted Mitsuru, bathed, and then crawled into your futon. But even as you stared at the ceiling, nothing but abject horror filled your chest and pumped your heart. "And what now?" you asked yourself. "Will this even work?" But you didn't have the answer. You never did.

You turned around, closed your eyes, and went to sleep. There was certainly a purpose to your coming here, but sitting here now, in an empty room with no one by your side, it only felt as if you had walked all this way for nothing.

You roused in the morning, alarm ringing until you dragged an arm out to turn it off. You weren't much of an early riser, but sometimes a few sacrifices had to be made. You needed a favor—a big one, from the one and only Narukami Yu, but you weren't so shameless you'd ask for it without at least making yourself useful.

Getting dressed, you packed your bag for the day and finally stepped out of the inn. You were only a little bit late in regards to the events of Persona 4, but surely you weren't too late. It had only crossed your mind that, yes, this was an option you could take. 

"High school, what high school..." You did a quick search through Google, before you found what you were looking for. "Yasogami," you muttered to yourself, pulling up the directions before you stopped yourself. If you were a second year and some random adult from Tokyo came by to ask if you could help them with a little something, you'd call the police and never look back.

There was only one thing you could do for now, then, and it had something to do with the person you were very certain would die in a matter of days. You were a little too late for the other one, the news anchor—you didn't feel very bad about it, which was a bit mean of you, but it wasn't like you could bring her back to life. You knew all too well that death was an irreversible tide washed out to sea, one not even you could bring back. Or alchemy. Not even alchemy.

The wind picked up once more, and you turned back to your phone, feeling more than a little lost. "A TV," you said to yourself, trying to keep yourself motivated and sane even in a town you hardly could get the hang of. "They probably have one at the inn." If they didn't you'd have to resort to breaking and entering in Junes, and you didn't feel like having Mitsuru come bail you out so soon into your plan.

The Amagi Inn did indeed have a television, a small one in the lobby which they had only unearthed after your request. It was a dangerous game, thinking of crawling into that small little television in the dead of night when no one was looking. And the cleanup would be a pain, surely. Not for the first time, the brief thought entered your mind, that perhaps this would be so much easier if you had your friends. If you had Minato. But your friends were taking care of their own lives and Minato was just about dead, so it remained up to you. 

I'm doing this for you, you stupid martyr, you thought to yourself, and waited for the pang in your heart to fade before you marched all the way back to the inn and waited for night to fall.

You worked yourself into a pattern following your entrance here. In the mornings you wandered around, completed assignments, and called your friends to let them know you were safe. In the evenings you ate meals sponsored by the Kirijo Corporation, even though you assured her you were fine paying for your own meals. And at night, when no one else in the Amagi Inn was awake, you snuck into the lobby and crawled into the television.

It surprised you, how easy it was to gain access into the Midnight Channel. You thought there'd be some sort of barrier, maybe some sort of divine force knocking you back out, but instead you fell right into the smoggiest, foggiest patch of asphalt face first. You inhaled the smoke all at once then coughed it out. When you rose to your feet above the fog, you finally took a good look around.

"I guess I'll have to walk to Junes," you muttered to yourself, checking your phone even though you knew you'd get nothing out of it. Sure enough, it was unresponsive. You set it back inside your bag and stretched before you finally made up your mind to trudge through the fog in search of a place and a person. Normally the fog couldn't be seen through without special lenses, which was why you had painstakingly gone through the roundabout trouble of asking Mitsuru for a pair of special glasses which could see through obstructions of the shadow kind. She asked about it, you dodged the question, and she could only grit her teeth and make a note of it for later.

You had full intentions of telling her at some point, but for now getting the Inaba situation resolved grappled for your attention. The Midnight Channel was eerie, but so was Tartarus before you grew accustomed to it. The Midnight Channel was only unfamiliar, so it'd feel like a second home once you grinded enough hours. The fog seemed to settle into your bones, raising the skin on your arms as you rubbed them down. Maybe you should've gone for an oversized yukata provided by the inn, instead of something that exposed your forearms to the breeze.

No, you were a brave member of SEES. A little chill never stopped you from doing what had to be done. You made your way over to Junes—something which would've been so much easier had you started your journey out with the Junes televisions, but you weren't exactly part of the Investigation Team, nor could you see yourself being part of it in the future.

You hauled yourself the last few steps over, adjusting your round-rimmed glasses every so often. You only had one pair, and you really didn't want to be the idiot smashing them. But luckily, everything else went smoothly. Though you had only the smallest knife you could conceal on your person and your evoker, it was quite fortunate nothing came to attack you. It was only the eerie silence and fog as far as the eye could see, slithering into any patch of open air.

You came back the next day, and the day after that. The fog didn't relent and your glasses did an admirable job clearing up the truth, but they were a prototype and Mitsuru had no idea what the purpose was for, so they could also be better in many respects. But you weren't going to knock on her hard work. 

Stumbling around the place, evoker clasped tight in hand, you looked left and right. It had been days since your first venture inside, and you had a feeling you'd find her sooner or later since her death was bound to show up at some point—you just didn't know what day. You waltzed this way and that, eyes peeled for a high school girl, when at last you found her sprawled across the floor, heaving shallow breaths.

You rushed to her side and checked her pulse first, which fluttered under your fingers. "Hello?" you asked, gently shaking her. "Hey, can you hear me?" Her eyelashes fluttered, and she slowly opened them, squinting up at your face.

"Who..." Her eyes shut again, and with a sigh you put away your evoker before hefting her up, wrapping her arm around your shoulder as you got her to lean against you. 

"Can you walk?" She didn't reply. You thought so. She looked half dead the way she was, and it was nothing short of a miracle you had found her. It wouldn't take long before the fog rolled away, and then it was likely over for the both of you. You took a few steps, dragging her along with you. You weren't in bad shape but you weren't exactly a weightlifter, and you could only trudge as you pulled her across the fog-obscured ground.

Once you had enough of the dragging, you shifted her onto your back instead. This was not much better, since now your back was crying out in pain, but you'd take that over having to pull her unconscious body along. "Saki," you muttered to yourself, seeing as she wasn't awake to hear you wax poetry over meta and fiction, "you are so going to owe me after this. Yu too. He's going to owe me a big favor for saving his best friend's crush." That was if you let it be known you were the one who saved her. Of course you were. You were doing all of this for a reason, and not just out of the goodness of your heart.

The fog thinned and receded in some places, like the waves rolling out to sea, but then it came back just when your heart pounded and you thought it'd become necessary to start counting your days. Sweat beaded at your forehead, but you knew it wasn't long before you could crawl back through the television at the inn and finally get Saki into the hospital. 

You wiped at your sweat with a clumsy hand, which shook with your whole body under the weight of another. Your glasses came clattering to the floor, and in a hurry you tried to pick them up, only you were carrying someone and couldn't bend over without sending the both of you crashing. You tried the classic side lean, but it wasn't enough. Your glasses had disappeared into the thick layer of fog covering the ground, and you were nearly resigned to setting Saki down and beginning your search on all fours when someone else cut through the fog, leaning down to pick up your glasses in your stead without hesitation, as if they could pinpoint it right there.

"Thank you," you instinctively said, looking up to see who it was saving your life. You froze when your face met hers, and the cold expression of your own face stared back.

"Looking for these?" she asked, eyes stark yellow and lips thin with malice. "How stupid of you to drop them like that."

"Are you—" You pointed to yourself, then back at her. "Are we—"

"Get that idiotic expression off your face," she simpered. "Are you twelve? Are you blind? Are you realizing now how stupid this idea of yours is?"

"I mean if you're me—and I think you are, because we look the same—then this is really important to the both of us."

She jabbed a finger into your chest, chin raised so she looked as if she was looking down on you despite being the same height. "You killed him in the first place. Can you still face him the same?"

"I mean..." You swallowed the sea of guilt which had risen in your chest and throat, hoping to keep up a brave face. "Igor promised. I might as well... I might as well cash it in."

"You are ridiculous. What good is that deal if he's dead? What good are you if he's dead?" Her voice raised now, and you resisted the urge to cower under the lightning in her eyes. "I should kill you. You deserve it. There is nothing you can do to make up for what you did, so repent. Repent for an eternity."

You backed away from her, chest pounding. You hadn't even had the time to process your own shadow, but now she was advancing quick, hands reached out to strangle you. "At least get her out of here!" you shouted, still backing up as she walked undeterred by your scurrying.

"Why? She was going to die anyways." Her eyes were cold as she said, "After all, this world is just a play to you. An elaborate movie. All you do is watch and pretend you can't do a thing. How could you?" Her voiced switched from furious to anguished, and if you were any less sound of mind you might've stopped to comfort her. Just before she could take her final step and finally get her hands on you the fog seemed to draw back for the final time, and from all corners of the small little television world shadows burst from the darkness and crawled on their hands. 

Your shadow's head jerked towards them, and you took your chance, grabbing your glasses back as she was distracted. You shoved them onto your face, and not for the first time you ran. You didn't look back once, too afraid you'd see her chasing you. It was only when you shoved Saki into the television and climbed through yourself did you finally turn around.

Your shadow stood a fair distance away. Even with meters and meters between the two of you, the yellow glint of her eyes seemed to strike at your own, and you quickly turned away to finish your mission. You came crashing out of the television, landing beside Saki, out of breath from the sprinting. 

Now was the tough part. You picked her up once more, scooped up in your arms, and then took a deep breath before you stowed her in your room, put away your things, and finally picked her up once more, dragging her out a few blocks away from the inn before you took your phone and dialed the police.

You prayed to every single deity that could be listening to you for the police to not do too much DNA testing, then you prayed to every malicious devil, witch, and entity alive that if you were caught, Mitsuru's lawyers could get you out of it.

So maybe you were a bit more worried than you needed to be. You played up the good samaritan but eccentric visitor card, played it up until it hit the sky and couldn't go up any further. Dojima had been roused from his otherwise good slumber but was patient with you as you acted like a worried ditz. He seemed to buy it, because he nodded and sighed when he thought you weren't looking. "Look, I've been in this business for a while," he said, which was about the dilfiest thing a street-wise cop and irresponsible parent could say. "You don't seem like you're lying. We still have to check a few things, but thanks for calling it in. You may have saved her life by getting her treatment as soon as you could."

With the questioning over, because of course they dragged you all the way to the police department for that, Dojima finally let you out. You were still in your indoor yukata, but at least their focus was moreso on the new result of their strange murder mystery case. "Adachi, help take her back," said Dojima, which instantly made your skin freeze.

"Oh, no, it's fine, I can go on my own—"

"I insist," said Dojima, who was already organizing files and settling down at his desk. "With all the strange cases it's dangerous for someone as young as you to be outside so late. Adachi's a little lazy at times, but he'll be better than nothing." 

No, please don't put me with the Joker. Please don't make me go with him. "I really wouldn't want to take up you or your partner's time," you told him, laughing only a touch nervously. "I'll be fine."

"Think of it for my sake," he said, and before you could continue to protest he called for Adachi. "Hurry up, don't leave her waiting."

"You could go too," he muttered. "I mean, it's also dangerous for me." Dojima fixed him with a look. "I-I mean, of course I will, Dojima! Come on, let's go." Adachi got to his feet, just as you were screaming at yourself to run out of the building and ditch him.

"Okay. Thanks." You smiled at him instead and followed him out the door, fingers twitching against your palms. You didn't want to be anywhere near him. Even walking behind him felt unsafe, but you kept up your act admirably. So what if he lived in a society? You didn't. Not in the same society he did, which was a crazy little world for him and him alone.

"You're visiting from Tokyo, right?" he asked, drawing you out of your intense session of chanting act normal in your head. "You've come a long way to this town. I didn't think it was a tourist destination."

You had to think of your words carefully, very very carefully. "I don't know, I think it's quite charming! I think I just picked a random place, though."

"Any particular reason why? You said you were attending university in Tokyo, which should be going on now." So he was listening in on your conversation with Dojima. Adachi had that smile, that same old smile which made him seem oh so simple when he was anything but. Adachi Tooru would skin you alive if he thought it'd bring him some modicum of enjoyment. Oh, how you wished he'd be out of your hair so you wouldn't fear for your life. You had fought gods and monsters, but even those didn't have the excuse of being human for their misdeeds. 

"I'm not sure," you told him, trying your hardest to seem like a harmless little straggler drifting through school and life. "I guess it felt like too much. It's nice I don't have to think about things like school here."

Adachi continued smiling. You hoped to dear god he would buy it. "That sounds tough. But hey, hang in there!" It probably disgusted him as much as it did you to hear him speak such nauseatingly concerned words. 

"Yeah, I will. Thank you." You held back any sharp words you had. "I think this is the inn. Thank you so much for walking me back."

"Of course. I gotta head back to the police station now." He waved once, curtly, before he turned and left. You watched him go before you stumbled back into the inn and quickly ran to your room, changing into a new yukata before you crawled into the covers of your sheets and forced yourself to breathe in and out calmly. 

You were going to be fine. He didn't know anything. He hadn't bothered shoving you into a television because you hadn't gotten on his nerves, and you were hoping things would stay that way—but even if you did, so long as your shadow didn't show up once more you'd have no trouble navigating out of the Midnight Channel.

Even so, just to be safe you decided to keep Mitsuru's glasses on you at all times. Who knew when Adachi decided enough was enough and hurled you into the Midnight Channel? Who knew when he'd grow sick of eating cabbage and make it your way of living instead? You had tried playing up to his childhood academic struggles, but in the process perhaps you only made yourself seem like a target for him. Some didn't like reminders of their own weaknesses.

"Seriously," you muttered to yourself, with a dry laugh. "I've been thinking about Adachi for minutes now." How embarrassing. You'd have to erase him from your mind now, forget him the same way a normal person would—because that was what he was and what you needed to be, a normal person which one wouldn't naturally suspect. He cultivated an air of idiocy as a perfect guise.

You slept that night, not soundly, but you still slept nonetheless. Step one of your master plan with no clear steps had begun, and before you knew it you'd have your one favor from Narukami Yu and then you could abscond from this little sleepy town and head back to Tokyo no less depressed than when you got here.

When you woke you took a nice, clean bath in the inn facilities just to get any traces of the night before off of your skin. You had to be flawless going forward, considering you had planted yourself firmly in the middle of an ongoing murder investigation. You dressed yourself nicely, checked the weather for the day, and wandered out to do more walking around the streets aimlessly. You knew without a doubt that sooner or later the Investigation Team would bring themselves to you of their own accord. You planted your name with Dojima, with Adachi, and as a group of rambunctious teenagers all they had to do was follow the breadcrumb trail. 

Sure enough, it wasn't long after you returned another assignment to your teacher that a group of kids came knocking at your door. You know who it was based on their loud, not at all concealed whispering to one another. "Hey, you're the one that wanted to come!" came a slightly nasally, mostly aggrieved voice.

"We all agreed on coming!" came a louder one. Chie hadn't quite yet mastered the art of using her inside voice, it seemed. You waited for them to stop arguing and for someone to finally knock. You weren't disappointed when the clear knock of knuckle against wood sounded, and you approached the door acting as if you hadn't heard them chatting just outside.

You opened the door to see three teenagers crowding around your door. "Do I know you guys?" you asked, tilting your head curiously. 

"No! Not yet, I mean. Um, can we come in?" Chie grinned nervously. "We want to talk about, uh—"

"—Konishi Saki," continued Yosuke, when Chie froze. "You'll hear us out, right?"

Just for good measure, Yu, who stood in between the both of them, nodded. "It won't be long."

If you were any normal person you would've driven them out. Who came to follow up on an interrogation like that? But you were very forgiving and very kind, so you smiled and nodded, stepping aside so they could come into your quaint little hotel room. "Of course. You guys are here to follow up, right? I didn't know they had police officers so young!" Seriously, the excuses you made for them.

"Uh...yes! We're officers in...training!" Yosuke's voice was awfully strained. See, if you were someone who wasn't in the know how you'd have looked into them and found they were not at all qualified to handle your confidential information. As it was, you could only help them play along. 

How do I subtly inform them I'm aware of the Midnight Channel? "I'll be glad to tell you everything I know," you told them warmly. "I've been thinking about that a lot these days. Hopefully I can help you guys out with that investigation. I'm just glad I could help that girl."

"And thank you for that," Yosuke said, quite solemnly. "Anyways, partner, if you would...?"

Yu nodded, cleared his throat, and leaned forward much like Dojima when he had you shut in that tiny little interrogation room. Like uncle, like nephew. "Could you tell us about how you found her?"

You decided, in the split second you had to react to his question, that the best policy was honesty in this case. "Well, you might not believe me—I still don't believe myself—but will you keep this a secret? I didn't say it then at the police station, but if you promise you won't get mad at me for not saying this earlier I'll tell you."

Chie nodded immediately, speaking on behalf of her friends. "Yeah, of course! Not a word." She pantomimed zipping her mouth shut. "So...what happened?"

And finally, with the first members of the Investigation Team enthralled in your story, you could smile to yourself. "Truth be told, I was going to take a late night walk when I passed by the television in the lobby, and just coincidentally..."

Chapter Text

All things considered, you did very well pretending you knew nothing. It was a skill you were forced to cultivate ever since you ended up in this world years and years ago, an act you only let up around Minato. But since his death you had been reduced to this performance, feigning ignorance in matters you weren't supposed to know.

But the problem with this was how infuriating it quickly became. In an ideal world you could sit the Phantom Thieves down and explain to them you knew everything—and then, with that said, you would launch into a thorough explanation of what they had to do to keep the plot going. Haru, you imagined yourself saying, you need to awaken your persona first, then we take down your dad. Then we take down Shido. Then we take down the false god, Igor comes back to give me my reward, and finally we end the year strong and I go back to Tatsumi Port Island for a long overdue break.

And if you were to do that, everyone would call you insane or maybe you'd break the thin veil separating fiction from reality, so no. You had to watch everyone run around like headless chickens in Okumura's palace feeling a bit distraught you had to pretend along with them. Because pretending to be an idiot was somewhat in your forte, but it wasn't in complete alignment: you were good at pretending to be dense and very good at glossing over the important details, which didn't automatically equate to being an idiot.

You sighed, crawling through the spaceship with half a mind focused on your plans for later that day. Nothing much would get done without Haru's persona awakening, and that wouldn't happen without a proper catalyst. You weren't quite evil enough to make it happen on your own, but you had to wonder. 

"That's a lot of sighing," said Akira, knocking your forehead with a soda can. You peered up to see him, eyes hidden behind the glint of his oversized glasses. You were resting in a safe room, you quickly recalled, and Akira tilted his head a little seeing your unabashed staring. "Is something wrong?"

"Hm? Oh, nothing." You took the can from him, popping open the tab with one sharp movement. "Thank you for the drink."

He leaned against the wall beside you, still looking your way. In the Metaverse he seemed to be almost a different person—not in any big way, but in his small mannerisms and speech. The little things. In the back of your mind you thought, something about the themes of hiding your true self behind a mask or whatever it was. Not an English major. "It doesn't look like nothing," he easily replied, casual as ever when in his Phantom Thief garb. "You've been preoccupied since we entered the palace."

"Mm, well..." You trailed off, buying yourself some time by taking a sip of the soda. Sweet. Normally you were tight-lipped and gave out your little hints very sparingly, but after having changed the plot of the game you were more preoccupied with trying to get it back on track. "I think Haru has a lot of untapped potential, if you catch my drift."

"In what way?" Ah, you really missed Minato. If he were here he'd nod and understand exactly what you meant. But it was mean of you to compare the two, one being someone redoing his year of high school and the other being someone newly christened into the Persona world. 

"I feel like her persona still has a lot of room to grow," you replied. "In this cognitive world, your persona represents your spirit of rebellion. And the truth too, so there's probably something Haru still needs to confront before she can fully unlock her potential."

"Ah." Akira gave one of his curt head nods. "I see what you mean."

"Right?" You smiled right after, one of your bright, warm ones that would instantly make you seem guileless and innocent. "But that just what I think, so it could very well be nothing. Thank you for listening to me anyways."

He nodded again, standing back up as he slid his hands in his pockets. "No, thank you for telling me. I trust your opinion." He smiled too, and you instantly felt it was the right decision to let him in on your thoughts. Who knows? Maybe he'd have something up his sleeve too. "Are you ready to get going again?"

"Yep!" You rose to your feet again, stretching out your arms before you rejoined the group, ready to make headway into the palace once more. 

That being said, there wasn't much to do. You finished up the day not long after that and waved goodbye to your dear friends, the Phantom Thieves. Once they were gone you turned your back and entered the first grocery store you could see, carefully selecting out your produce. It was only after you paid for everything that you came to the startling realization you had no intention of cooking, which could only mean one thing.

-

You

shinji-senpai! dinner at your place?

please please please reply im already omw with groceries

Shinji-senpai 🍚

Seriously?

Fine. Have it your way.

-

You make a little fist pump seeing his reluctant agreement and it was only then did you actually set off for his house. It was only a little white lie anyways, and it wasn't like this was the first time. You spent the bus ride over chatting with Yukari, who was more than happy to fill you in on her life during one of the few moments both of you were free.

"But what about you? It can't be easy with everything on your plate too." Yukari, wisely, didn't mention any specific details. There was only so much you could brush off as a joke in public, and Yukari had always been the careful sort. Careful with her words, careful with her behavior. "If I find out you're overworking yourself again I might as well move in with you."

"I would like that, actually," you admitted to her. "You'd be a great roommate!"

"Really?" There was something almost nervous in her voice, but you chalked it up to your imagination. Why would Yukari be nervous about rooming together? "I might consider it, to be honest. A lot of my job offers recently have been in Tokyo."

You smiled at the thought. "I've always got a room for you here too. The guest bedroom is going to fall into disrepair, with how little I've been using it."

"I've always wondered why you got that anyways. I know you're not short on money, but isn't that one extra room to clean?"

The plastic of the shopping bags crinkled in your hands. "It's...well, I always thought it'd be nice for you guys if you came to visit Tokyo one day. That's all."

"Oh." She fell silent for a moment. "That's...I'll come visit more. I promise. We'll make pancakes and everything."

"That would be nice." You laughed a little, contented by the thought. "Oh, this is my stop. Thank you for chatting with me, Yukari! I'm heading off to Shinji-senpai's now."

"Have fun!" You promised you would and hung up after, dragging your fat grocery bags with you off the train and onto the streets by Shinjiro's place, ducking down the familiar roads in search of his little apartment. You arrived not too long after and he was quick to open the door for you, ushering you in while taking the groceries from you.

He clicked his tongue at you, but still went to put everything away anyways, pulling out what he needed from your bags and the fridge. You followed him into the kitchen, peering over his shoulder as he began preparing the ingredients. "You're always coming here for a free meal," he snarked, and you grinned at him.

"Hey, I pay for the groceries! What's wrong with cooking for your good friend just a couple times anyways?"

"You're going to get lazy," he gruffly replied as he began washing the vegetables. He said one thing, but his actions said another. Always putting on a brave front, even though he was soft at heart. That was Shinjiro, one of your favorite senpais. "The miso paste is in the fridge, next to the eggs."

"Yes sir, on it." You ran to the fridge, digging around for the aforementioned miso paste. At least he trusted you to make the miso soup, which wasn't the biggest role, but you would take what you could get. Directed by Shinjiro, you finished your promised meal faster than either of you could've done alone, and you set the table as he popped open the rice cooker to start scooping.

Dinner went by fast as you engaged him with tales of whatever dramas you had been watching and gossip passed on second-hand by your coworkers. He considered it frivolous, as he made it clear to you, but he still listened anyways, replying dutifully at the right times. "And that's how I got a horde of rats following me," you finished. "All ladies."

"That seems statistically improbable."

"What can I say? I'm a feminist." You drummed your fingers against the table for a moment. "Shinji-senpai, do you have the energy to give me some advice?"

He snorted. "You want to ask me for advice? Forget it." You affixed him with a look. "What is it?" he muttered in amendment.

"You know how I'm one of the Phantom Thieves? Well, one of our new members has some special circumstances she needs to face. I just don't know how to get her to confront them." He got to his feet first, clearing the plates. You rose to your feet and followed him to the sink, where he began washing the dishes. "Shinji-senpai?"

"I know, I'm thinking. Don't rush me." He certainly took his time thinking. It wasn't until you helped him dry the last plate did he clear his throat and wipe his hands dry, before turning to look at you. "Look, I'm not a people-person. That's you. And what you would do in this situation is be honest."

"Honesty is the best policy," you mused. "Shinji-senpai, you're really good at giving advice."

"Yeah right. I just repeated what you'd say."

"Then you get me really well!" You pat his arm. "Thank you for that. Hopefully you see me on the news once I'm done putting that advice to use!"

"You're not supposed to be on the news, dumbass, since that means your identity is compromised. I have no idea how they let you become a Phantom Thief." He spoke harshly, but you could see the obvious fondness in his voice. He didn't shove you off or anything, so you pat his arm a few more times before you thanked him for the meal, bid your farewells, and started on your way home again.

The sky was dark when you stepped out, but you had refused Shinjiro's offer of taking you home, simply because it was too far and bothersome. Besides, it had been a while since your last late night walk, and you were confident enough in your own skills that potential muggers felt inconsequential to you. The stars glittered overhead, and you peered up every once in a while, admiring their gleam.

It took you twice as long to walk home, but you didn't mind. Sometimes you needed a bit of a break to wind down, and with your busy schedule you had to find creative ways to relax. Sure, you had almost been run over a couple times during your starry-eyed stargazing, but you were impossible to kill during your character recovery arc.

The next day you resolved to just come clean to Haru, so you asked for a Phantom Thief meeting that afternoon. You showed up with a watermelon despite the weather being a bit too chilly for that and kindly asked Sojiro for a good knife so you could start hacking away at your watermelon before the others arrived.

You just finished dicing it up as Haru walked upstairs, and you proudly presented her with a slice which she took with a little confusion. "I looked up how to slap it ahead of time," you told her, "so this one is probably really sweet. Can you taste test first?"

"Oh, um, sure." She took a tentative bite before her face lit up. "It's sweet!" 

You could now add watermelon slapping to your resume. "Yay! Okay, everyone, go ahead and dig in. We have Haru's approval!" 

"We were supposed to wait?" Ryuji wiped off his mouth awkwardly. "Um. You didn't see that."

"It's fine, it's fine," you told him, settling down on the couch. "Haru, take a seat. I actually asked for a meeting today because I wanted to ask you something." Her previous delighted expression grew a little more worried, and you felt bad for calling her out in front of everyone for a moment. "It's nothing bad, I promise! And feel free to stop me if what I'm going to talk about makes you feel uncomfortable at all. What's important is your feelings, and if need be we can completely drop it. I promise neither I nor anyone here will think any differently of you for it."

"It's...it's fine," she slowly said. "I truly do want to help you guys. I know we didn't get off on the best foot, but my feelings are genuine."

"And I completely believe you!" you assured her. "But I wanted to be honest with you, Haru. I've mentioned this to Akira before so he can back me up, but personas are like a...representation of one's true self and feelings. Thus, their strength corresponds to how in touch you are with that willingness to confront the truth, as well as their spirit of rebellion. Haru, is there anything at all you might want to let us know?"

Please talk about your fiancé. Please talk about your fiancé. Haru, I am begging you right now, talk about that sleazebag and then we'll be all clear for confronting him in the palace. "That's..." She set her slice of watermelon down, hands twisting in her lap. "I...I don't know. That's a bit..."

You quickly backtracked. "Of course, there might not be anything! But I just want you to know that we're going to accept you no matter what. If there's any worries in your life, anything unfair that you want to push back against...that's what unites us all as Phantom Thieves, I think." She didn't budge much, but you had dragged everyone out here for a reason, so the evil part of yourself sighed. "I'm sure this is a lot to ask of you. But I just wanted you to know that, and that you can trust us no matter what."

Maybe she wouldn't know unless she met her fiancé, but how could you even make sure that'd happen? "Thank you," Haru murmured. "I really appreciate it. If I think of anything I'll be sure to say."

"Well, since we're here why don't we go exploring Mementos?" Ann quickly suggested. You agreed and the day passed just the same as normal. If prompting Haru to be honest wouldn't work, you'd have to just hang out as much as possible and pray to god her fiancé would just show up and prove you right.

And sure enough, one week later he came looking for Haru himself at LeBlanc. He arrived all sure of himself, ready to bring Haru back since she had been outside for far too long when her role was to stay at home and be all demure. You almost thanked him for being so upfront and asshole-ish about it, since it saved you all that overthinking and effort.

And of course your whole team chewed him out and sent him packing; Haru came clean about her realization that she resented, more than anything, being treated like that by a political marriage; and you went home with a clean conscience knowing you didn't have to do anything to guarantee results. If there was fate, it was a thread that tied everything back to a satisfying conclusion. Maybe. You'd have to see how the story ended first.

The next time you entered Okumura's palace Haru's fiancé appeared not too long after. Things seemed to slot into place, which excited you first, and you could freely admit you were far too happy about Haru's awakening than you should've been. And it was great at first, but then you stopped to think about it and realized just why.

There was a god at the helms of this story, one pitting Akira against Akechi. Of course things kept going back to how they were in canon, because they were designed to be that way. Yaldabaoth formed this fate and pushed Akira into its rigid path. You thought of Igor, who once told you fate was like a road and you were the pebble in its path, knocking up the wheel but never truly pushing it off its course.

"What's wrong?" came Akira's voice again, this time passing you a sandwich. "You've got that same expression on your face."

"Ah." You accepted his offering once more. Oh, you know, musings and ramblings on fate and the role gods play in what we do. You walk a path I've been told time and time again I can't change, but I wish I could. I wish I could take that pen from your hand and sign my name in your place. "Just thinking about some grown up things," you told him with a shrug. "You're still a little too young to hear it."

What a sad path these wildcards walked. Sure, they had the bonds of friendship, but they were chained by that concept of fate. At least Akira had a nice one going for him, so long as he stuck to the true ending. "Must be taxes," he concluded, and you hid a smile behind the back of your hand. 

"I can't hide anything from you, it seems." Best not to be too much of a downer. "Should we get going? We're doing this for Haru too, so might as well be snappy about it." He nodded, and away you went, out of the safe room and into the fray. 

It didn't take long before you located the treasure and made plans to send out the calling cards. You took on more a backseat role, though you never stopped thinking and planning. There was something you had to do, something perhaps only you could do in Okumura's palace. He was supposedly going to die, you remembered, as it was part of his fate.

So was Saki. So was Chidori. So was Shinjiro. Doomed to die, to have their wheels roll on into their graves, but they lived now. Igor had waxed poetry about inevitability and Yaldabaoth was an all-powerful entity hell-bent on creating that inevitability, but the proof of your existence lived on in their lives.

"Rabbit." You stood now at the edge of a precipice, at the beginning of your newfound determination. "Are you okay with staying back this battle?" 

You nodded at Akira. "Fine by me. I'll cheer you guys on!" You no longer felt the same reservations about being in the backline. It stopped feeling like you were forced to rely on those younger than you, but rather accepting the help and guidance of your friends. You would never feel fully comfortable giving your burden to someone else, but when it came to something like a boss fight, you could happily step aside and make room for people who could do better than you.

Akira's smile made your heart feel at ease, with how bright it was. A complete contrast to his normal quiet demeanor, but that was what made it so brilliant. "Alright. We'll be counting on you."

So you took a seat on the floor behind them and waited for it all to finish. The team fought admirably, bravely, and you could see they were a cut above the same second years who accidentally stumbled into having personas. It wouldn't be long before you'd see them at their peak, fighting a god with nothing but the bonds of friendship. Ah, classic Persona series conclusions. 

Their battle with Okumura's minions ended just before the thirty minute mark, and as the tower began collapsing you rose to your feet and stood by Okumura instead, much to the shock of your companions. "We need to go!" Mona cried, and you waved him off cheerfully. 

"Don't worry, I'll make it out. You guys go ahead first! I'll be out after you."

"What? Why?" Makoto turned to grab at your sleeve, but you pat her hand affectionately, much like an older sister would. "It's dangerous to stay behind for no reason!"

"But I do have a reason," you empathically emphasized. You even nodded your head courageously. "I'll be fine. I promise I have a reason! I'll just leave this palace at the very last minute." 

"But..." Even as Makoto trailed off, turning between the way out and you, Akira stepped forward, taking a stand beside you. 

"I'll wait too," he said. "We'll meet up with you later." The palace continued to crumble, and the rest of the Phantom Thieves had to come to a decision then. It seemed like their confidence in their leader and their need for self preservation won over those bonds of friendship in the end, because they made the two of you swear to be okay before quickly absconding. So much for that unshakeable bond used to kill a god.

You watched as more of the spaceship broke down. "You didn't have to stay too," you commented, keeping an eye out for the intruder you knew was waiting here. "I didn't make a big deal out of it, but it's definitely dangerous."

He shrugged, burying his hands in his pockets. "You have a reason. I trust you." It was awfully sweet of him to be putting this trust in you without too much to back it up. No, that wasn't true. He had gotten a glimpse of your true shadow self just a while ago, which was perhaps the clearest look into the person you were anyone could get.

Just as you were thinking it was about time to get going and the intruder had chickened out, you saw a flash of black and you instantly dragged Okumura aside, pulling him out of the path of the bullet. "So I was right," you muttered, head spinning as you tried to think of something smart to say which wouldn't give away your clairvoyance. "I thought you'd be coming here, masked intruder. Unfortunately, you've reached the point where it'd be foolish to try to fight. Should we call a truce and just focus on escaping?"

Out stepped the masked intruder Akechi Goro himself, even though you were the only person who knew this. Behind you, Akira took out his hands from his pockets and loaded his gun, raising it just as Akechi did. "We can try fighting if you want," you told him. "But you must be a pragmatic, logical individual. Leave Okumura alone and get out of here." Just to prove your point you summoned Chang'e and waited for his response.

The best thing about Akechi, besides his character arc and woeful teenage angst, was how he could understand to cut his losses when the chips were stacked against him. Without a word he lowered his gun and quickly left. You waited for just a moment to see if he had only pretended to leave, but then a chunk of rubble smashed down right next to your foot and you decided it was about time for you to get going too.

"Akira, I hope you're a fast runner. And Okumura, you should go hide behind something. Don't let our efforts be in vain, okay?" You didn't know how much you could get his shadow to do, but then he scrambled to his feet and ran, so maybe it would be all fine. You could say you tried, at the very least.

Truth be told, you barely made it out. There had been plenty of close calls which either you or Akira helped drag the other out of, and when you finally reached the exit you had to dive for it as it collapsed right behind you. The other Phantom Thieves had been waiting by the exit in varying states of distress until you showed up, a little bruised from all the rubble pelting you, but perfectly safe.

"Don't do it again!" Mona harrumphed, though you were mostly forgiven once you gave him a big hug. And then you hugged everyone else, who reacted very differently. It made you think of SEES for a moment, who had similar reactions at first before they got used to your spontaneous hugs.

"Let's get out of here," you told everyone, grin bright as if your life were not threatened by the Detective Prince just a little earlier. "I've got some big news to tell you guys. Akira can back me up!"

"I can," he said, and that sealed the deal. You exited the Metaverse, and in your mental checklist of things to do before your eventual vacation you crossed off Okumura's palace.

Chapter Text

After you spun your pretty tale about coincidentally falling into the Midnight Channel and finding Saki, you sat back and waited for their reaction. The theatrics you had poured into your half-life, half-truth was too good for them to not react strongly, and react strongly they did. "Wow," said Yosuke. "That's a lot."

"A lot to go through or a lot of information?"

"Both." He wiggled around in his seat, shooting looks at Yu, mouthing some words. This you could see very clearly, but you chose to play dumb and pretend they weren't quietly discussing among each other what to do with you now. But there was only so much you could let slip, so you got to your feet after Chie's voice raised a little too loud.

"I'm going to take a quick break outside," you told them. "Gotta stretch and all. You guys can stay here!" You picked up your phone from the table and quickly exited the room, stopping right in front of your door. Sure enough they began speaking at a normal tone, which was still perfectly audible for you.

From Yosuke came, "Is she telling the full truth?"

"I mean, it seems like it to me. I wouldn't tell the cops I accidentally walked into a television too," added Chie quite righteously. It was good she was sticking up for you, at least.

"But isn't she too calm?" asked Yosuke, and a bit of sweat beaded at the base of your neck. You should've panicked more. You should've cried a little bit so they felt too awkward to actually deeper about it. You should've just come clean, actually, since if you admitted you had a persona now and approached them with ulterior motives it would feel so weird. 

"A little," said Yu. You squared your shoulders from in the hallway and put your head in your hands. "But I think we can trust her." Immediately you jerked your head back up, leaning in closer so you could press an ear to the door and hear him more clearly. 

There was a pause in their conversation. "Are you sure?" asked Yosuke. "I mean, you do realize how this sounds kind of fishy, right?" You were so fishy. A random woman showing up, saving someone's life through the Midnight Channel, who didn't even have a mental breakdown from how strange it was. 

"I know. But if you can't believe her, believe me." Oh, that was very forward of him. He spoke very convincingly, which was a change from Minato. Silly Minato, whose words were quiet but loud in their meaning. He whispered, but to you every quiet mumble was his shouting into the void. He said I know. You heard the future is inevitable, as is my death, but what can I do? I'm an agent of fate, so I must die as I meant to. Don't be sad.

"...when is she coming back?" you heard from Chie, and you yanked yourself away from the door, taking a deep breath. You thought you were better at hiding away those feelings now. You woke in the mornings with him out of your mind but somewhere along the day you'd remember him and then it was as if you were reliving your high school days again. "And don't be mean, Yosuke, she's probably panicking in her own way."

"I know, I know." He stopped. "Wait, does she think I'm an asshole?"

"Probably."

You did not, and it then occurred to you that it'd be best for Yosuke if you walked back in before he felt like he had slighted you in some way. You pushed the door open once more, face made up as if you hadn't been eavesdropping on them for the past five minutes. "So, what do you guys think? I know you might not believe I went into the television, but—"

"—we believe you," Chie quickly finished. "Um, actually... There's something you should know. Since you've already been inside the television world. And it might sound kind of weird, but..."

"I mean, how can it get weirder? I don't think it'd be that bad." You took a seat at the same table, passing the trio a friendly smile. "Just lay it on me."

They turned to Yu. He nodded. "Alright," he said, and within minutes he had delivered you the most coherent, most concise explanation of the television world and personas you had ever heard. For the most part you tried to act surprised, but you were not an actor by birth and certainly not one by training, so you only looked like you ate something sour.

"You said you were a tourist, right?" asked Yosuke, now that Yu was done explaining and you still weren't having a breakdown. "Why Inaba, of all places? Don't you have classes?"

You were tempted, very tempted, to traumadump. To just lay before him your life story without the persona parts. It would certainly explain yourself and your need to be away and out of the spotlight, but also it would make him feel so bad for asking he wouldn't dare be open about his suspicions. But that would be mean and manipulative and only a crazy psychology professor would bother doing that.

So you had to give him the same excuse as Adachi. "It was really stressful in university," you explained to him, trying your best to sound sympathetic. "And I, I don't know, I guess I just had to get out of there. It's because Inaba's not a super popular city that it's so refreshing to be here."

"I guess I can see that..." came Chie. "See? Told you she's fine."

"Wh—Chie!" Yosuke frantically turned to you. "I wasn't trying to sound suspicious of you, or—I mean, I kind of was, but not—"

"It's okay!" you quickly reassured him. "I can see why. But I promise you I'm trying to help out, if you'd have me. This persona business is a bit new to me, but I think I can handle it!" It was a big fat lie. Of course you could handle personas, having used one back in your second year of high school. Perhaps the biggest problem here was your shadow, but you could burn that bridge when you came to it. 

"Sure," said Yu, shrugging his shoulders back as he lifted a hand to yours. "Welcome aboard." You took his hand without a second thought, giving him a proper handshake before you dropped it and looked at him weirdly.

"I thought you guys didn't do handshakes?" That had only crossed your mind after you shook his hand, funnily enough. 

Yu shrugged. "I thought it'd be more familiar to you," he said, which made you even more confused. As far as you knew, no one here was aware of your dubious citizenship like Mitsuru and the others were. You were supposed to keep an eye on Yu for that, but you were kind of depending on him for a favor, so you had no choice but to pretend it didn't bother you.

"You're right, I do actually like handshakes!" you replied back. "I've been here for a few years, but I'm still a bit awkward at knowing just how far to bow. I appreciate it...Narukami Yu, was it? And your friends Hanamura Yosuke and Satonaka Chie." They all nodded at you and you smiled again, relieved you got the interview portion over.

"Let's exchange numbers then," Chie suggested. "Oh man, you must be so bored here. At least we have school to go to. Do you just walk around all day?"

You nodded sadly. "I do. Sometimes I go inside Junes to just look at everything on the shelves."

"You can hang out with us after school," Chie said sympathetically. "I bet you have a lot of fun university stories. Where are you attending?"

"University of Tokyo. Have you heard of it?" If you were better acquainted, Chie might've lunged at you from across the table to throttle you. Yosuke too, whose face was going through a couple different colors.

Chie raised her hands. "Hello? Isn't that a big deal? University of Tokyo! You're from Tokyo?"

"Tatsumi Port Island, actually! It's not too far from here. I actually visited Inaba before during high school, since my volleyball club had an overnight trip here."

Yosuke looked at you incredulously. "And you still chose to come visit Inaba of all places? I mean, props to you and all, but there really is nothing here."

"There's all of you," you told him with another great big smile. "So that aside, what's the plan?"

"Well, you see..." Chie twisted her shoulders back and forth for a moment. "Oh, I don't know. We were gonna go back into the television world, but it seems kinda dangerous. You should just stay outside with me."

You were about to protest, but then you remembered your shadow. She wasn't boorish enough to come crashing the party when you weren't there, maybe because she was so fixated on you. "Alright," you told Chir. "I'll keep you company." And that was that. They promised to text you soon when and where to meet and then they were gone, running off to go do their investigation team things.

Once their footsteps no longer rang down the hall you rose to your feet once more, flopped down on your futon, and stared at Yu's contact in your phone. You didn't know what you were expecting from him, but whatever it was, it didn't matter. He was nice. Cut right to the chase too, but most importantly he seemed to know you.

You didn't appreciate being laid bare in front of someone else. But this was all you could do for now, so you sighed and put your phone away for another time. Right now what needed your attention the most was the first upcoming dungeon and Yosuke's subsequent shadow. And then there was Chie, and Yukiko, and Kanji, and then... 

You closed your eyes, taking a deep breath. Though you told everyone you came to Inaba for a break, all it did was stack more onto your plate than before. Piece by piece, brick by brick, they piled up. "That's what you get," you told yourself, tapping your fingers along the paved wooden floor. "Trying to play hero when you're just trying to use him for the Velvet Room." Maybe if it was a little later in the day you'd feel guilt, but now there was an empty gulf in your heart, and you sighed to yourself.

Being away from home for so long really did take a toll on you. But since when did home become Tatsumi Port Island? 

When the time came to meet with the Investigation Team, you dressed yourself in more comfortable clothing, tucked your glasses into your bag, and stepped out with a grin. You walked all the way to Junes, where the others stood at the entrance, chatting among themselves. Chie quickly hopped over to greet you first. "Hey, just in time! We were about to head in now. I brought some cards if you want to play."

"What...cards?" Yosuke made a face. "We're going in to risk our lives figuring out what happened to Saki-senpai and you're just playing cards?"

She pouted, crossing her arms. "Well, what else should we be doing? It's boring to wait out here, you know."

"Don't worry, I'll keep an eye out," you promised them. "We'll just be passing the time. But if you need backup I don't mind going in with you. I've already been in there anyways, how bad can it be?" This was a bluff. You really, really didn't want to go inside the television if it meant your shadow was waiting there to ambush you. You could see it now, her crossing her arms, completely unravelling your lies in front of them.

"Then have fun," said Yu with a small smile.

"Don't let go of that," added Yosuke before he and Yu finally crawled into the television, leaving you alone with Chie. Of course, you knew very well the rope lifeline tied around his waist wouldn't actually stay connected—but Chie didn't, and the moment she pulled the end of the rope out of the television she immediately began panicking.

She flung the bundle onto the floor. "It didn't work! What the heck?"

"Chie—"

"And they didn't even wait!"

"Chie, wait, listen to me." You waved your hand around her face and she jerked her head over to you. "Look, they're going into a different place, right? Like the way I landed in somewhere else after I went into the television. So it makes sense the rope wouldn't be able to pull them back."

"But..."

"Why don't we calm down and wait, okay? You guys made it out fine last time, so I'm sure it'll be the same this time. Panicking won't change anything, so let's take a seat for now. Okay?"

Chie let out a deep, deep sigh that seemed to shake the floor in its magnitude. But then she nodded and took a seat, and you quickly followed suit. She wordlessly pulled a pack of cards out of her pockets and handed them over to you. "I don't know how to play a lot, by the way," she said, voice still a little sulky from earlier. "I brought them because I thought you might know. Since you're an adult and everything."

"Should I bring Uno next time?" you asked sympathetically, taking the cards and shuffling them. 

Chie nodded. "I know the rules to that," she agreed. "Although I think it's not that fun with just two people."

"I'll bring it for all of us, then," you amended, before you flipped through the cards in your hands aimlessly. "How about Old Maid?"

"Yeah, bring it on!" You dealt the cards knowingly and before long you finished your fifth consecutive victory. "Seriously, how are you so good?"

You were not much of a liar, but in that case, Chie was not a liar at all. You could at least control your face somewhat, compared to Chie's endearing but ultimately unsuccessful attempts. "Just practice," you lied to make her feel better. "How about Blackjack?"

"Oh, sure. What's that one?" 

You shuffled the cards once more, pulling off a fancy bridge shuffle before you proceeded to deal her two cards. "So the rule of this game is to try to get twenty one by adding up your cards. Jacks, queens, and kings are eleven points, and an Ace is one. You can ask me to pass you another card if your value is too low, or you can keep what you have."

"That sounds pretty manageable." Chie took a peek at her cards. "One more?"

"Sure!" you passed her one, though her face fell the moment she saw it. "And I can't pass it back?"

"Sorry, no." You smiled wryly at her, taking one more peek at your cards. "Ready to flip?"

"Yes..." She dejectedly showed you her value. She managed to get a ten and a six first, but when she asked for another card she received a jack and promptly boosted her score to twenty-seven.

You revealed yours. A ten and a king for a total of twenty points. "Wow, and you have good luck?" she exclaimed. "You're a tough opponent for sure."

"I try." You finished dealing the next round of cards, but then you turned back to the TV. "Do you know when they might come out, by the way? They've been in there for a while. And I know you said it's probably fine, but I'm still worried about the rope."

"Honestly, I dunno. But between you and me, Narukami is really efficient. I've seen him finish homework while still in the class it was assigned in. Hanamura is...well, he's not stupid, so I think they'll be able to work things out fine.

"I hope so." But you knew they would, because this same knowledge you carried with you now had pulled you through high school, for better or for worse. It just felt worse, more nerve wracking being on the waiting side rather than the acting side. Those who were left behind always had it the hardest, but you were only experiencing that now. "Maybe I'll bring us something else next time. You probably find all these card games boring, huh?"

"N-not...not really!" she exclaimed, though even you were getting sick of looking at playing cards. "To be honest, I don't know what else to do. I know Narukami and Hanamura probably have it worse, but..."

But nothing. "Waiting is hard too," you offered, "even if it feels like we're doing nothing for them. All we can do now is keep our spirits up." Perhaps you were projecting a little too much. It was true Yu and Yosuke were off risking their lives, but it was also very boring sitting and waiting for them.

"You sound like you have a lot of experience in waiting," commented Chie, having run out of other topics to chat about. "You wait a lot?" You saw her turn and grimace to herself, likely about the topic being too on the nose. Not that you minded. There was only so many times you could win at cards without feeling bad for her.

You dutifully gathered up the cards while you spoke, seeing no more use for them. "I mean, everyone waits in their life. But if you mean I have experience in waiting through especially stressful situations, I guess so. Curious?"

"A little," she admitted. "I mean, that's kind of vague. You could be talking about anything."

With one hand, you began counting down a list. "Well, let's see... I waited for my acceptance letter to university. I waited for my class rankings in high school. And I'm waiting for those two to get out of the television world." I waited for the full moon every month in my second year of high school. I waited for Nyx to arrive. I waited for Minato to come back from the moon, having given up his life. And I waited for him to die, but Chie wouldn't want to hear that, I suppose. "It's all academic stuff, now that I think about it."

Chie nodded knowingly. "School is stressful. I completely get it." She still wilted anyways. "But aren't they taking too long? I mean, it's just going in and going out, right? Unless something's happened in there?"

"They seem capable. I doubt they'd really run into something that bad."

"Who knows what's in there though. Monsters? Bad guys?" Chie scrunched up her nose. "I mean, Saki-senpai got into trouble and only survived 'cause you got her to the hospital in time. Also, I'm kind of bored."

You laughed freely. "I agree with the being bored part. But really, they seem like good kids to me. I like to think I've got a good sense for those kinds of things."

"Well...okay, if you say so." Chie didn't seem fully convinced, but she wasn't raring to go jumping into the television yet. "Hey, do you think—"

But before Chie could finish the two came stumbling out of the television, Yosuke crashing onto Yu as they both toppled to the floor and scrambled to their feet. Chie stooped down, gathered the rope, and wordlessly flung it at Yosuke. "You owe us an apology, by the way!" she huffed, though by no means was she as mad as she might've been had it been her on her own waiting for the two of them. "The rope didn't stay connected!"

"H-huh?" Yosuke looked at the bundle which had fallen to the floor. "Oh, uh... I'm sorry, Chie. I didn't think it'd get cut off like that."

"And apologize to her too! She's the only reason I'm not more mad!"

Yosuke quickly bowed his head, as with Yu, the both of them cowing under Chie's glare. "I'm very sorry, ma'am," he solemnly offered you. 

"I'm sorry too," added Yu, but without quite as much politeness and stiffness. 

Chie huffed again, arms still crossed, but her anger died down after a little more glaring. "Well now I'm just tired. What happened while you guys were in there."

"A lot," sighed Yosuke. "Long story short, Saki hates me. And we met this—this other version of myself who said all these awful things. Then we defeated him, and now I've got this...persona, was it? I promise I'll tell you more later, but I really need a nap right now. Like, right now."

"Okay, okay, you go take a nap first then." Chie turned, pointing her arm out towards the exit. "We'll talk about this tomorrow at school," she began, before she looked up at you. "Um, and then we'll fill you in after school?"

"Sounds good to me," you told them. "I'll be in contact with you guys! But you've probably been through a lot. Sleep tight!"

"We will!" Chie called back, grinning happily. You turned to leave first, but from behind you Chie's voice still rang in the air. "You know what? She's really cool. I mean it when I said she's the reason I'm not more mad, so..."

Her voice faded the further you walked, but something happy alighted in your chest, fluttering its wings. You liked Chie too. She had a good head on her shoulders and she was good to her friends. You liked all of them, characters turned real people. Maybe not Adachi so much, but you loved the Investigation Team, you loved SEES, and you knew you'd love the Phantom Thieves too.

You skipped the way back to your hotel room, feet light as your heart. Making friends felt great. Were you friends? The age gap was certainly a little awkward, but it wasn't that big, and they used casual language with you. You pulled up the group chat they had with you and grinned at it, before you set your phone away and sprawled onto the floor for a long, long moment before you crawled over to the table with your laptop.

"Okay, time for homework," you muttered to yourself, sitting up so you could pull up some documents for class. There were three things guaranteed in one's life; birth, death, and boring homework assignments. It happened in high school and now it was happening in college. 

But other than your escapade from an exciting persona-filled adventure to a troublesome land of assignments and essays, your night went normally. The next day the three members of the Investigation Team called you over to Junes, which you dutifully obeyed, and then you sat and listened to them explain what had happened to you. Which you already knew, but did your best to pretend it was all new information.

"...and that's why we think Yukiko might be in danger too," Chie explained. "Do you know her? She works at the inn you're staying in. Dark hair, blunt bangs, really pretty?"

"I know just the one!" you exclaimed, pounding a fist into your open palm. "The elegant looking one?"

"Yeah, her!" Chie's smile was infectious, but then it quickly died down once she remembered the topic at hand. "Anyways, I'll walk her to school. But since you're already staying at the inn, would it be okay for you to hang out with her for a while just in case? I'll make up an excuse for you and everything!"

Oh boy, hanging out with Yukiko. You prided yourself on being a decent conversationalist, but these weren't the most ideal conditions to be introduced to a stranger. But you couldn't exactly say no to Chie asking you so nicely, so you nodded. "Yeah, sure! I'll have her tell me about Inaba or something."

"You can be my tourist friend!" Chie offered. "Or no, that sounds kind of weird. I've never mentioned you before."

"You can be my tourist friend," added Yosuke. "How would that even work, actually? I only just moved here."

"You can be my cousin," said Yu. "Don't we look alike?"

"No." Chie.

"Not really." Yosuke. 

"Hm." He seemed to consider it. "My tourist friend, then."

You had three options here, none of which were very realistic nor believable. What was even a tourist friend? "I'll be your friend coming from Tokyo to visit you, Yu," you finally decided. "Everyone knows you're from Tokyo and everyone knows I'm from Tokyo. We met at Chinese club."

"I don't know any Chinese."

"We met at a college seminar?"

"I've never been to one."

What a straight-laced kid. "Okay, we're family friends."

"I'll have to learn more than your name, then." You thought it was a smart suggestion, but then he added another sentence that threw you off. "Let's get to know each other."

"That sounded really suggestive," said Yosuke. "Seriously, dude?"

Yu blinked. "I apologize. I wasn't trying to be."

"That did sound kind of suggestive," added Chie. "Seriously?"

All those chad Yu jokes were finally coming true. "Maybe you're just naturally suave or something," you offered. "But no problem! You want to text or something?"

"You can come over for a bit if you'd like," he offered. "Otherwise it'd just be me and Nanako again."

"And I'll text Yukiko!" Chie exclaimed. "Wait, wait, you're asking her to come over? That sounds really suggestive."

"Nanako's there."

"Yeah, so don't even think of doing anything!" Chie put her arms at her hips. "Right, Yosuke?"

"Well, yeah, but I don't think he meant it that way. Did you?"

Yu raised his hands in protest. "I didn't. Promise."

Yosuke turned back to Chie with a shrug. "See? He didn't." Yu apologist, you thought in your heart. "Well, I'm headed home now. Don't forget to call me once you watch the Midnight Channel."

"I won't," Yu assured him, before turning to you. "Shall we?" He tilted his head towards the exit.

It was a little amusing to hear it from him, when it was something you had been saying for so long. Shall we? you would say to Minato, reaching for his hand as if inviting him to a dance. He'd nod and smile and when you held his hand, you would feel warm from head to toe.

"Alright," you told Yu, and stepped forward to stand by his side. "Let's go."

Chapter Text

Echoing in your headset was furious tapping and clicking, and you could do little but sit back and watch incredulously as Fuuka raged on. "And there we go," she finished. Your screen was still greyed out as you waited to revive, but Fuuka had enacted her revenge on the enemy team by murdering every last one of them in exchange for your own death. "I'm sorry I couldn't save you in time."

"No, no, it's fine." You blinked at your screen before you went to check out everyone's statistics. You had the same number of deaths as Fuuka did kills, twenty. "I didn't know you were this good, Fuuka." More importantly, you had no idea she played League of Legends until you mentioned it off-handedly after seeing news about the World Championships, then she had propositioned you to play, then you made an account to check out the fuss over the most toxic game, and then...

If you could see her, you were sure she would've blushed nervously. "Oh, no, I'm not really that good. I only play sometimes. It was just luck this time." She said that when she roped you into playing Final Fantasy XIV too, even though you had looked her up later and found out she was in the top ten global players. "Do you know what they're saying, by the way?"

Since League wasn't very popular in Japan, the two of you were playing in the American server. Thank god Fuuka wasn't fluent in American gamer speak, because the enemy jungler was calling her names, slurs, and bashing on her for no reason. "Complimenting your playstyle," you told her, while you typed a response.

[All] MassivePen15 (Master Yi): Lol your so trash idiot. Everyone knows youre character is op none of that takes skill

[All] MassivePen15 (Master Yi): Why dont you fk off and go die no one wants you here

[All] usagichi (Lux): you are literally 0/13

[All] MassivePen15 (Master Yi): Stfu noob 

[All] MassivePen15 (Master Yi): At least im not 0/20 fking trash 

[All] MassivePen15 (Master Yi): Your basially inting so fking stupid

[All] saberphantasm (Garen): can u focus on the game

"Wow, they sure are typing a lot," Fuuka commented. "What are they saying now?"

"That you're really impressive," you told her, ignoring the influx of messages sent by the Master Yi in response. Just as toxic as your memories recalled. If anything, League of Legends would never change even in the endless flow of time. "You want to try something else after this game?"

"Yeah! Let me end it really quick." You didn't mind playing whatever Fuuka wanted, so long as you didn't have to read more texts from people being mean over a MOBA. "I'm not boring you, am I?"

"Of course not!" you assured her, reporting the Master Yi before closing the game. "I like being able to do stuff together, even if it's you completely thrashing people in games. I wish we could hang out in person, but this is good too."

"I'll see when my next break is," Fuuka gravely responded, which confused you. Sure, it'd be good to see her, but you didn't think it was such a serious topic. "By the way, how is the Phantom Thief thing going? I know recently they've been more popular, but..." She hesitated then, and you knew it wasn't because she doubted you. She always worried deeply for you, in a way that made you love her and feel guilty towards her in equal measures.

But the answer to her question was simple. "We're fine, actually!" you cheerfully replied. "Thank you for worrying. You should hear something about Okumura soon, actually." You spoke calmly, like everything was in control, when that wasn't true. Of course you worried about Okumura's collapse; of course you worried that when the cards were dealt in the end, your hand would be no different than if you had let him die. His announcement was fast approaching but you had no idea if your actions truly changed fate.

Fate was a dirt path. Fate was the wheel in the road, hitting a pebble in its path but continuing onwards. Igor had, in no uncertain terms, laid before you the certainty of forces beyond your control. "That's good to hear," Fuuka replied, voice quiet but no less powerful. "And you can always rely on us if there's something you need, okay?"

Yes, it was good to ask for help. "I will," you assured her. "But first, I want to try to solve things myself."

"Just don't push yourself too hard," she warned you. "I think it's really admirable you work so hard, but you have to take care of yourself too." It would be a shame if you went through the same mistake of worrying your friends, wouldn't it? 

"I promise." You grinned at her through the Skype call, nodding in reassurance. "I trust your video gaming skills very much, Fuuka."

"Ah." She smiled behind her hand. "I was thinking about my technology expertise, but that works too."

"I have the utmost faith you can completely wreck any gamer. Want to play something else while you still have time?"

"Yes!" You spent the rest of your day playing video games with Fuuka, though more often than not you would lag out since you only played on your personal laptop and refused to buy a monitor in fear you'd become a gamer, and not the cool kind like Fuuka. The kind that played League of Legends on the daily. 

Eventually you said your goodbyes and hung up the call, yawning into your hand as you got ready to sleep. You had a relatively free few days ahead of you before Okumura was scheduled to make his speech, and nearly everyone you knew had lined up to make a hang out appointment with you. Tomorrow you'd go shopping with Ann, Ryuji, and Akira; in the evening Mitsuru wanted to drop by Tokyo and have dinner with you; the day after that Futaba had roped you into teaching Yusuke how to play Smash Bros; then Yukari and Junpei wanted to sit and call later that night since they couldn't come to Tokyo themselves.

You would willingly admit it, that having such a friend-packed schedule was nice. It did wonders for your ego and self-confidence, that was for sure. Sae wanted to grab lunch again, insisting on paying for the meal, and even Shinjiro had a few nice things to say to you. 

But if you were honest with yourself, you were looking forward to seeing Sae the most. You met her at the station, where she stood near the stairway on her phone. Once you called her name she looked up, smiling and pocketing her phone. "I hope I didn't make you wait long," you gasped, patting down your chest a little. You had run over when you saw her, and she helped you up seeing how out of breath you were.

"I came early, so don't worry. More importantly, are you okay? You came running all the way across the street." Her hand on your shoulder was firm, but not too tight. It was casual in its intimacy and you gladly accepted the support if it meant you weren't going to collapse dramatically on the street. 

"I'll be fine in a moment," you assured her. "So where are we going to lunch?"

"You know the hotel nearby? They got a new chef at the French restaurant at the bottom floor, so I was thinking we could check it out." Not to brag or anything, but you were practically an expert in French food thanks to Mitsuru's lavish tastes. You knew escargot, wine, and ratatouille. No, scratch that, you were not an expert since Mitsuru always did the ordering. 

You were stubborn—had always been—and if you couldn't pay for your meal, you'd find other ways of compensation. "Okay. But I'm paying for drinks after." Of course a few rounds of drinks wouldn't be the same as a full French meal, but you'd find another alternative, just you wait. Sae had a smile smile on, expression warm. You couldn't help but smile back.

"Then it's a deal. I made a reservation, so we won't have to worry about the line." Oh wow, she even went all out. You followed her down the road thinking of fancy French food before Makoto crossed your mind.

"What about your sister?" you asked curiously. "Should we get her some takeout?"

Sae nodded as if she hadn't thought of it, which was probably true. Silly Sae, always preoccupied with what was in front of her first. "That's a good idea. She deserves a nice reward anyways, since her grades have been stellar." You closed your eyes for a moment, trying to remember why that sounded so familiar. Right, she was forced to study more recently so she could tutor the rest of the Phantom Thieves since you forgot every subject unrelated to your job and couldn't help much.

"And I'll get dessert too," you suggested, already drawing up a mental list of bakeries that had achieved moderate success with Makoto. Saying she loved a certain place would be overkill, but she certainly had her ones she didn't hate. "Sae, how have you been recently?" Okumura's palace had only just been finished, and it was her next. Could she feel, to some extent, the change that would happen?

Her smile was charming, if not a little forced. Her head tilted towards the side just a little and the corner of her mouth quirked up. She led you into the hotel with enough grace, but it was clear to you her mind was elsewhere. "Work has just been hectic recently," she finally decided to say. "I have no doubt it'll get worse, since I still had the time to sneak out to meet with you."

"Sorry." You kept your expression light hearted anyways, just to show how you weren't serious. "I'm just too charming, is that it?"

"Absolutely." Sae turned away to speak with the waitress about your reservation, waiting until the waitress began walking you to your seats before she spoke again. "I wanted to apologize, by the way, for not being in contact as often as before."

"It can't be helped! I mean, you're really so busy. I wouldn't hold it against you." In a moment of weakness, you tapped your fingers against the smooth table, brushing your thumb across the polished grains. "When I was younger, I didn't realize how far you go without seeing your friends. We don't get the luxury of seeing each other at school, which is a shame...I think we could've been good friends if we went to the same one." 

You let yourself imagine that for a moment. Sae was competitive for sure, but Minato was on another level. She'd probably have a friendly competition with you and him every exam period. You'd switch places with her every exam, but Minato would stay at the top, and when the two of you inevitably turned on him, he'd smile. It was then Sae's voice cut cleanly through your reverie. "I'm sure we would've," she said, fingers glossing over the text in the menu. "You seem like you'd have been the popular kid."

She wasn't wrong. You were charmingly silly, how about that? "Maybe," you conceded. "And you were the honor student, right?"

Her smile was a little tight, though she wasn't mean about it. You remembered that little moment anyways, deciding to not bring up things about academics around her anymore. "I had to be. It's always a struggle trying to make it in a man's world. You get it, right?"

Not as much as she did. Not as much as she would. Mitsuru had paved a mostly smooth path for you, even if there were some things she couldn't shield you from, but compared to someone treading around in the highly competitive law field, you walked a clear, paved path as opposed to her thorny one. "I'm sure it's nothing compared to what you have to go through."

Sae was quiet for a moment. She wasn't the type who would disagree and say something nice like, oh, no, we all experience gender discrimination considering the very conservative political views of Japan, and not one experience is worse than the other! No, the both of you knew it was true, and she was a touch too prideful to say some meaningless pleasantries. "That doesn't mean you haven't gone through anything similar." She was sympathetic, at least, but you saw her eyes fall to the menu for a moment, trembling not in sadness but in something more impassioned.

Ah. Sitting across from her then, you felt a little out of place. You were probably the kind of person Sae hated and was jealous of most—oh, and she envied, envied so deeply she manifested a palace in her unconsciousness—and here you were, trouncing around with a brilliant education, a brilliant job, the kind of brilliant life she had to work her skin to the bones for. Mitsuru took care of you. Who took care of Sae?

"If anyone starts getting too far on your case, make sure you tell me, okay? Even if I can't take care of it, at least we can badmouth them behind their back." 

She raised her eyes to yours again, briefly turning around to catch the eye of the waiter. "I won't need you to take care of anything for me," she firmly declared. "But I'll definitely take up your offer to complain. Honestly, some of the people I work with could take a few lessons from you." The waiter arrived, and with your approval she quickly rattled off a few dishes that soundly mildly familiar to you, including ratatouille. Like the rat.

When dinner was over and takeout was acquired you did indeed go out for a round of drinks, laughing at each other unreservedly. Seeing her grinning like that under the dim yellow lights of the bar made you think of how different she was from the envious, hypocritical Sae from your past memories. 

You hoped she'd be like this forever. You weren't so conceited to call it all your influence, but surely having a confidant could help ease some of her worries. "You're amazing," she was saying, shoulder bumping into yours. "How did you even convince him?"

"I watched a drama the other night! And so when I thought of it I decided to use the exact same words—"

"And he believed you!" The wonder in her voice was greatly exaggerated by the flush on her cheeks from the beer, and you quickly steadied her before she toppled over the bar stool.

"Let's get going," you quickly told her, raising your hand for the bill. "At this rate, you're going to have an awful hangover tomorrow. Thank god it's Friday night." 

"Mm." She squinted a little. "Oh no. I still have a case I need to close."

"Knowing you, it's practically done and you just need to review it before you send it in." You slung her arm around your shoulders, dragging her outside with you to hail a cab. Once one arrived you helped her inside before crawling in after her, digging around in your bag. "Here, I have some coconut water in my bag. The fancy kind I got at work. Also, I've been counting our drinks! Your hangover should be very mild if you have one at all."

She sighed, the color in her face fading a little in the cold night air. "Seriously, thank you."

"You have nothing to thank me for," you replied. "We're friends! Between you and I, there is no need for thank you or sorry." Thank you, Grandmaster of Demonic Cultivation, for using that quote in a better way than I ever could.

"I appreciate it." She was dozing off already, so you looked out the cab window while you monitored the driver's route through Google Maps just to double check you weren't getting scammed. You paid a little extra once you arrived and pulled Sae with you up the elevator to their apartment, where Makoto opened the door in surprise.

You lifted the takeout first. "Surprise! We got you something." Makoto quickly let you in, helping you pull Sae towards her bedroom, setting her in bed. You walked with Makoto as she fetched a glass of water and aspirin to set at Sae's nightstand, before the two of you stepped out of her room.

"Thank you so much," she told you, making sure the hallway lights were off too. "I didn't think my sister was the type to get this drunk, though. Not to the point of falling asleep."

"Honestly, I think she's just tired." You peered down the hall for a moment. "Did you eat yet?"

"Just a little. I was doing my homework and I lost track of time." 

"Perfect! Why don't we go heat this up together?" It wasn't too late yet, so Makoto nodded and you walked with her to the kitchen with the bag in hand. "Personally, the best thing in here is the dessert. I put it at the top so it wouldn't get crushed."

"Well... Thank you for your foresight." With your combined efforts you warmed back up the takeout and sat with Makoto as she cautiously began eating in small bites. You had assured her you weren't hungry but she stopped to ask you every other bite anyways. 

Eventually she finished and refused to let you wash the dishes. You waited for her at the dinner table, already feeling the exhaustion seep in. "Are you worried?" you asked her, and for a moment the hands which were diligently scrubbing at the dishes paused. 

"About what?" she carefully replied.

"Anything. School. College. Your sister. Okumura's confession. The Phantom Thieves. Society." Your fingers tapped at the table. "I can't say I'm completely without my own concerns."

She shut off the tap, drying off her last plate. She wiped her hands off before she returned to your side. "I'm concerned too, but more than that, I trust you." She held you gaze firmly. "Akira is our leader, but I think all of us rely on you to help guide us as well."

"So for Okumura..."

"I'm not worried," she explained, "even if that person in the palace you mentioned was trying to kill him. I might not know everything, but I'm certain you're doing your best to help us. And for that reason, I'm sure everything will be fine." Her smile was wry as she cocked her head at you. "Are you nervous? I thought you were supposed to be the calm one."

So that was how she saw you. She wasn't wrong. Growing up along all those life experiences certainly taught you to be calm, even if it didn't reflect your real thoughts. "Just a little, but you've completed wiped away those worries." Akechi could pick his battles. Okumura was your duty, and so too was this world only you knew the full truth of. You and the Velvet Room denizens, but only you were able to step outside and make some real impacts. 

"In that case, I'm glad." You exchanged a few more words with Makoto before you finally took your leave and hailed one last taxi to get you back to your apartment, where you showered, brushed your teeth, and promptly fell asleep.

The next time the Phantom Thieves had a proper meeting was at Disneyland—or Destinyland, according to them. It didn't stop you from slipping up all the time. "And you're sure Disney—"

"Destiny," added Futaba. "Seriously, where is the Disney coming from?"

"The corporation," you solemnly replied, taking a sip of your iced tea. "The one that's involved in Kingdom Hearts."

"You mean Heart Kingdom," Futaba replied again. "The one with Danny Duck?"

You raised a hand to stop her. "Please. No more."

Futaba shrugged, smile effortlessly taunting. "Whatever you say. You know, now I'm starting to think you've got a serious case of the Mandela Effect."

She had brought this up many times before, and you were starting to understanding just how frequently you slipped up. Just the other day you had mentioned grabbing coffee, and she had turned on you faster than Akechi could start backstabbing. "Is this about the Starbucks?"

"Starvicks." Before Futaba could start waxing about parallel universes and some other internet theory, the others jumped to switch the topic. Swept along by them, Futaba could only drop the subject matter, and you watched her flounder under the sudden attention lavished upon her. 

You looked towards the fireworks in the sky, watching them set off as the others spoke among themselves. They were beautiful to behold, but it wasn't as if it was your first time seeing them. They exploded into color, reflected into the water in your glass, ice cubes clinking as they melted. You poked at the bunny ears headband on your head, which was a little uncomfortable, but you could bear with it.

"Wait, guys, the press conference is almost beginning." You turned back to the group, who were now pulling out their phones. Instead of grabbing yours, you leaned over to get a look at Akira's. He shifted in his seat, moving his hand over to give you a better view.

The meeting proceeded as you thought, for the first few minutes. Everyone at the table was nervous, even you. They knew full well there had been some sort of attempt at Okumura's life, even if it was foiled by your wits. Your hand gripped at the hem of your shirt, watching him drone on and on about the ethical failings of Big Bang Burger. That was nothing. Miniscule. What you wanted to see was how far fate could be jostled off that same path Igor explained to you. If sparing his life would change the story in any way. 

His shadow wasn't dead. Surely that meant he wouldn't die as well, and if he wasn't dead, then he could simply reveal the culprit behind the mental shutdowns. It was just a name. You could easily supply it, but there were roles and destinies at play. You were a puppet at the whim of the storyteller, despite how much you fought against its strings. "The incidents you mentioned are indeed true." He took in a deep breath. "However—"

It was small, but you noticed it then, how he had looked to a space in the distance behind the camera and swallowed. "—I take full responsibility for the harm my actions have caused. These incidents are through my own fault, no one else's." Your mouth quirked up in a wry smile, even as everyone else stared blankly at their screens. Of course they'd find a way to use his newfound conscience against him. Fate was once more preserved, and if he even knew of you, maybe Philemon would be having a good chuckle at your expense. Look at the poor idiot trying to change fate. 

Wheels, pebbles, roads. If the current Igor were not an imposter then perhaps you'd have gone over to chew him out and maybe throw some hands. You weren't afraid of Igor, but you certainly were afraid of a false god threatening to destroy the world. "So still no lead to the culprits of the mental shutdowns," you finally said, speaking for the group. "But what matters is that we keep moving."

Akira raised an eyebrow. "But we do have a lead. That person who tried to kill Okumura in the palace."

"The strange person in black?" Ryuji asked. "I mean, yeah, but we don't know anything about that person."

"They're showing up in palaces for a purpose, right?" Futaba added. "As long as we keep going through palaces, we will find them again. It's basic gamer logic." Right, gamer logic. 

Haru nodded. "More importantly, I'm just glad my dad is okay." She sighed to herself, even as she put on a smile. "Even if he is—was—committing these horrible acts, I just can't stop thinking of him as my dad. And now he won't be doing any of that anymore."

Ann pat her shoulder kindly. "That's good. You know, I'm starting to really like this Phantom Thief thing! Even if we got nowhere with this current lead, we've already helped so many people. I don't regret this at all."

Yusuke smiled softly, his eyes closed. "And one way or another, we're all beneficiaries of being able to change hearts. It's certainly a wonderful sentiment. I wonder if this can be expressed in a painting..."

"You'll find a way, I bet," sighed Ryuji. "Isn't art all about the abstract? You're great at that."

"Thank you for the compliment." Yusuke turned to you now, and you raised your head, smiling politely. "And you as well. I'm sure this would have a very different outcome if you hadn't risked your life to stay behind on that day."

Fate can't be changed. That thought which had bummed you out earlier seemed to lose its sharpness and bite. Fate can be changed. Can't it? I did something. I was able to change something. "I completely agree," Haru chimed in. "Words can't express how thankful I am. After all, who knows what would've happened if we just left without assuring my father's safety?"

You knew what would've happened. He'd have died. The Phantom Thieves would hit an era of unpopularity, and Akechi would jump on board. But then life would go on and everything would resolve, in the end, just not as perfectly as they might've wanted. 

Fate. You thought about Igor's words once again. You were the rock in the path of the wheel of destiny. You couldn't change the destination, but you could change the road. 

Back at Tatsumi Port Island, back in Iwatodai, you had resolved yourself to the highest of destinies; a martyr's death. And perhaps you had been thinking only in extremes, that if you couldn't change his death you couldn't change anything. An observer, watching humanity march on not unlike Philemon himself.

But you could change things. Not the bigger picture, but the smaller things. The little details that didn't seem to matter in front of the big things, like saving the world, but could change so much of a person's life. "It's nothing," you told them, but you wished you could express towards them your endless gratitude. They had given you something much more important than a life—it was the ability to conceptualize change. You wanted to smooth out their road, lead them to their final destination with as much ease as you could give them. "There's this Korean saying, though I'm not sure if you've heard of it. I hope you walk on a path of flowers. It may not be realistic, but I want us to have the happiest, most successful journey together."

You could give your all for that. Minato would've, if he was here. He was selfless like that and you were only a cheap imitation, but the love you felt could not be fake. "Then I hope we walk on the flower path together," said Akira, and you nodded, feeling your heart swell in happiness.

Chapter Text

Yu was good with his hands. You hovered by his shoulder, watching him julienne vegetables with little effort. You had offered to help multiple times, but each time he refused you, leaving you with nothing to do but stare at him make dinner while feeling guilty. Since when did you need a high schooler to make your meals for you?

"You can help Nanako with homework," he suggested, seeing you stare abjectly at his hands, which moved with the grace of a professional chef. Minato was just as good if not better, because he mastered the lazy art of doing the most with as little movement as possible. Yu still had a certain rigid flair to his movements.

"I can do that," you replied, taking one last glance at the chef preparing a meal for three. And then you set off for the living room, where Nanako huddled over a few sheets of paper set flat against the table. For a moment you were worried her homework was going to even give you a run for your money, but then you peered past her hands and saw division. Thank god. Seven year olds these days weren't already doing calculus like your worst thoughts had pointed to.

You watched her scribble a few numbers in, pencil clenched in her fist like a stick, before you tapped on the table gently to catch her attention. "Need any help?" you asked her.

"No, I think I got it," she said. It seemed you didn't hide your disappointment well enough, however, because she took a look at you again and then slowly slid her paper halfway across the table. "...but you can help me if you want."

This was fine. You weren't useless anymore. "No problem!" you chirped, eyes roaming over the problem briefly. "Can you show me how you do it?"

Nanako nodded and pointed to the next problem on her worksheet. "Rika has eighteen apples and six friends. How many apples does each friend get if they all have the same amount? How many are left over?" She then meticulously drew out nineteen lumpy apples and drew circles around the apples until she achieved six groups of three and one remaining apple.

"Very impressive," you said, unsure of how impressive Nanako really was. "Have you memorized your multiplication table yet?"

"Only up to the fives."

That sounded about right, though you wouldn't know much about kids. You hadn't been one in forever. "It'll be a lot easier once you do. Want me to show you how to do long division?"

"Sure." Nanako passed you her pencil, so you found a space on the side of the paper to draw drawing our your long division box. 

"You put the number you're dividing on the inside and the number you're diving by on the outside, like this. And then you find how many times six can go into nineteen here. Sometimes you start with the ones place if your divisor is small enough, but in this case you have to start with the tens place since your divisor is too big for just the ones place." You began scrawling, eager to unload upon her your years of education. "Once you get the largest possible number you put it here and subtract the value you get when you—I don't need to explain that, you probably get it. If you're using decimals, you can move the decimal place so you get a whole number for the dividend. And once you take, I think algebra, you're going to use long division for polynomials—"

It was now that Yu came back bearing the fruits of his labor, his precious cooking. He quickly set down a few plates first, before he placed a hand on Nanako's homework. "That might be a little too hard for Nanako right now," he said, and you stared at the long division of polynomials you were already writing out. 

Hm. Now that he mentioned it, this was a high school subject. "Nanako, do you get it?" you asked her cautiously. She shook her head.

"No," she began, but then she saw your face and paused. "But thank you for trying. I can ask big bro about it later." As opposed to you? You could do nothing but watch as Nanako put away her homework and jumped up to help grab chopsticks. You tried to get up with them but they wouldn't have it, forcing you to sit back down and wait like any good guest.

They came back moments later and Yu began scooping out the rice, passing a bowl to you first. You thanked him and waited for him and Nanako to receive theirs before you took a little taste test of the dishes laid out before you. For a high schooler he really could cook. And so could Minato when he tried, so it wasn't that new of a concept to you. It just made you feel worse, that a high schooler was better in the kitchen than you.

"This is really good!" you exclaimed anyways, because it was true and Yu deserved to get compliments no matter what. "How did you learn how to cook this well?"

He took a sip of his soup before responding. "Practice."

If practice was all it took you'd be better off than him. Still, it wasn't your style to start beefing with a youngster, so you accepted his words without much fanfare. "By the way," Nanako asked, wrenching her attention away from the television, "who are you? Big bro's friend?"

Right, you hadn't been formally introduced yet. Yu brought you home and left for the kitchen, and you had been all up in arms trying to teach her long division. Nothing about who you were, besides your experience with math. "In a sense," you replied. "Though I would say we're closer to coworkers."

"We're friends," he clarified. "Or we're trying to be."

Smooth. "This is your chance to ask anything about me, then," you told him. "Since we're in the process of becoming friends. You're welcome to as well, Nanako. I'm sure it's weird having a stranger come into your house and eat your food."

"Not that weird." Nanako, ever so brave, then turned back to the TV. It seemed she didn't have many questions to ask, so you were stuck with Narukami Yu and his eclectic, straightforward stare. Was it a wild card thing, to be able to look through your person with one glance? Or perhaps it was just a side effect of their charisma. 

"You went to Gekkokan and now University of Tokyo, right?" he asked. So he had remembered. "What are you majoring in?"

"I'm planning on going into communications," you replied. "Although right now I'm still in their undergraduate program." 

"It's a good school." His voice didn't betray any thoughts of his. Maybe he was looking down on you for not going to Tohoku instead. "Hobbies?"

"I like reading, traveling, and sometimes I take pictures. Nothing too special." You never had time for hobbies when saving the world was more important, and after the world was saved you came to realize there was nothing you were interested in anymore. "And you? This feels a little one sided."

"I like horse racing," he said, and you nodded along for a moment before you froze. "Pachinko too."

That had to be a joke. "That's a joke, right?" you asked him, leaning forward, meal forgotten. You wouldn't put it past him, but no way the protagonist was doing something so shady. "Right?"

"It's a joke," he clarified, small smile on his face. What a jokester, playing around with your sensibilities like that. "I like birdwatching." Just as unique and yet old-fashioned as he was. It suited him, so you didn't question it. 

"That has its own sort of charm," you conceded. "Sure. We'll say that."

He gave you a nod too. "Photography is a fitting hobby as well." You smiled at him. This was going well. You were going to get a good grade in talking to the protagonist of Persona 4, something that was both normal to want and feasible to achieve. Just as you were convinced his interrogation had come to an end, he tilted his head towards you once more. "And any relationships?" he asked, smile impenetrable, eyes staring into yours.

You swallowed the lump in your throat, tasting bitterness where before was the savory aftertaste of a good meal. There was no way he didn't know, not with the way he stared at you—but how? And even supposing he did, what was the point of poking into you in that way?

Oh. Oh. Narukami Yu kept his eyes on you, and you understood then he wasn't a particularly good person. He was a good person, but only in fractions. He wasn't a saint, but he wasn't evil. Minato was a good person through and through, a beautiful righteous martyr right down to his dying breath. Yu was something else entirely, not so much larger than life like Minato.

He knew why you paused and he pushed at you anyways. But you couldn't find it in you to be mad at him. Maybe that was part of his awful charisma. "Just one," you told him lightly, all while your heart strained against your ribcage and twisted painfully. "But he's not with us anymore."

"I'm sorry to hear that," he said, which was genuine. You could tell immediately he was the sort of person that, if he was a bit more loose with his morals, would be tossing you around back and forth with how cruel and kind he could be interchangeably. "What was he like?"

Someone so attuned to the emotions of others couldn't possibly miss how much that recollection would cut into you—but fine, you'd play along. You were older now, your grief having frozen over in numbness from years of sorrow. You could say this. You could do as he asked of you. "He was kind," you murmured, fingers on the trigger of your heart. "My boyfriend, Arisato Minato. Gentle. He would have done anything you asked of him, given away any part of him. And if it were him, he wouldn't be asking me these kinds of questions."

His smile didn't budge once. He certainly knew that you knew he was playing with your feelings in such a way. "Sorry," he lightly replied.

"You're not very sorry," you commented offhandedly.

"I do feel sorry for you," he said. I feel bad you're upset, but I don't feel bad for asking. What an awful person, you thought to yourself, but didn't quite mean it. "But I think we know each other pretty well by now." Because that was the reason he went rifling around in your old wounds, and not for some reason of his you weren't privy to. Yeah right.

You finished up your conversation with meaningless chatter, though the way Yu's eyes had gleamed didn't leave your mind. He bid you farewell with Nanako, and you walked to your room at the inn alone in the night. The moon illuminated your footsteps, and you stopped in the middle of the road to admire its fullness.

Back in the day, the full moon was a sign of worry. But that time had passed and it didn't matter what size the moon was now, but you couldn't fully shake off the anxiety you had grown to associate with the full moon. It was beautiful now, and the reason you could get to your room, but it made your mind wander elsewhere.

Things had proceeded as expected after. Yukiko was still missing, your teachers were asking when you'd return to Tokyo, and your thoughts would take the train back to Tatsumi Port Island and lie on the rooftop of the school, waiting for someone who'd never come back. Yu and Yosuke pulled you and Chie into the television world, and you gave Teddy your half-hearted greetings. 

When Chie ran into the castle, you were left behind with the two persona users alone for the first time. "You should stay behind us," Yosuke said nervously. "We can probably protect you. I think. Better than nothing, right?"

You couldn't exactly tell them you were a persona user too, not right now, so you nodded. "I'll try not to drag you guys down." If you had your naginata, maybe you'd be more helpful. But it would be tough to explain that too, so you walked behind them like some sort of damsel in distress. 

Chie was on the second floor, as expected. And you did nothing but watch as she awakened her shadow, who unveiled a whole spiel of how important Yukiko was to her. Uh oh, fruit moment. Still, one fight later and the Investigation Team had prevailed; Chie had confronted her true self and accepted her shadow self.

You thought about your own shadow for a moment. You could almost see her sneering at you again, disdainful of yourself. But you had more things to think about than your own problems, and the three were already walking on ahead to the exit, so you had no choice but to walk in their shadows. 

Chie, having accepted her shadow self, was in a much better mood than before, even as Yukiko hung heavy above her mind. You could almost grow used to this, seeing them chatter on and quip at each other. Escapism, was that it? Your own burden was too much for you, so you came to watch them bear theirs. As you reached the exit of the Midnight Channel, Teddie procured two pairs of glasses.

"Me too?" you curiously asked him, accepting them gratefully. They'd be much more effective than Mitsuru's for certain, but you didn't expect to get a pair. 

"Of course! You didn't think I forgot about you, did you?" You slipped them on and felt the surmounting pressure in the back of your head recede. 

"Maybe a little," you conceded. "Since I'm not helping out in combat."

"You're still a valuable member," Chie assured you. "We'll all be able to save Yukiko for sure!"

You echoed her sentiments, a touch hollowly. You knew the future. You knew fate. She'd save Yukiko, because that was how it happened. There was little you could change, but you tried anyways, futilely. "I'll be with you all the way," you assured them. "I'll give you my all."

"Save a little for yourself too," Yu commented. Says the one pushing me to my psychological limits. 

"I'll do my best," you replied, and then you separated from the team. Days passed before they were finally ready to venture into Yukiko's castle, and in the meanwhile you had been fighting off everyone asking when you'd return. Your little fairy tale was cracking at the seams, and sooner or later you'd have to leave behind Inaba. But you returned every email asking for a little more time, just a little more time. As soon as they could bring Yukiko in you'd feel at ease. As soon as they proved they could clear a dungeon on their own you'd feel relieved.

Their foray into Yukiko's castle was hesitant, but they still moved on. You thought about when you first entered Tartarus, fearful of turning every corner. But Minato had stood at the front, relaxed in his posture, confident in his repeated experience. But the more you looked, the more you started to see that now. Yu stood at the front, confident in his own way, and Chie and Yosuke walked after him, eyes darting around the hallway.

Curious. But you didn't reflect on that as much, instead walking behind them, trailing after them, unable to do anything but watch. They struggled but they prevailed, and not once did you have to step in. Yu handled everything, and his friends deferred to him. 

Why I come here in the first place? you asked yourself, watching them confront Yukiko. Right, a favor. All that fuss for just one thing. Just one request, and one that may not even be possible. They succeeded. Yukiko returned to their side. And as they helped Yukiko up, you similarly rose to your feet and walked with them out the door, rushing to catch up to Yu. 

"I have a request," you explained to him. "Will you consider it?"

"If it's something I can do, yes." Your shoulders momentarily sagged in relief, before you picked yourself up again. You walked with him out of the castle and into the fog. 

"It's only—" 

"And where are you going?" The voice, eerily similar to yours, drifted out of the fog. "I've been keeping an eye on you, and this is just disappointing. How does it feel, being an adult protected by a bunch of high schoolers?"

"That voice..." Yosuke turned to look at you. "Wait, don't tell me—"

From within the fog stepped out your shadow once more, expression tight. "I gave you a chance," she continued, "which is far more than you deserve. And yet you cling to these empty hopes in trying to make yourself feel better."

"Hey." Yosuke was speaking to you now, even as everyone else stared at your shadow. "Whatever you do, don't say that phrase. You know what I mean, right?"

"I know." You turned back to your shadow, but she didn't seem impressed with your willpower. "You are me, aren't you?"

"There is no conviction behind your words," she spat. "Do you think you can resolve me so easily with some pretty words? You can't even do a good job running from your issues. From me. Funny, since all you do is run."

"Get behind me," Yu said. "We'll take care of this."

"Protected by them. Aren't you ashamed?" Your shadow stalked closer, just as everyone backed away. "You cower and hide. You do nothing to change the whims of fate, and you're the reason he's dead. Can't you see that? Can't you see what must be done?"

She certainly liked airing your dirty laundry in public. "I would have done anything," you emphasized, "to relieve him of that fate."

"And you didn't."

"I couldn't."

Her laughter was cruel. "You tell yourself that to make yourself feel better. But how much of it is true?" Her eyes lowered to meet yours, stark yellow and inhumane. "I should kill you now. Make it easier for all of us."

It was now that Yu stood straighter, a feat you didn't think was possible. "We'll have to stop you, then," he said, putting up a brave face. Despite that, you knew just how exhausted everyone was from saving Yukiko. The only person who could stand a chance was Yu, and certainly not by himself. You walked out from behind him, standing beside him instead.

As you were now, you couldn't face your shadow. But you didn't have to. She was you, the worst parts of you, but she shared the same weakness. "You can't kill them," you explained to her, mind racing as you rushed to put together an argument. "You're me, and I believe in fate. You wouldn't dare ruin this balance."

"I'm the side of you that you don't want to see. I'm the truth."

"And the truth is that you're unable to do anything." You had suddenly come up with your epiphany now, surrounded by eyes that watched your every move. "You wanted to scare me. You hate me, but you can't even touch me now. Not at risk of hurting the others."

She finally looked at you, not at the person she hated, but you. She tilted her head up, arrogant and cold. "So there's still something resembling intelligence in that empty head of yours," she declared. "How vexing."

A smile grew on your face. "So you're leaving."

"You haven't won." Still, she gave you one last glare. "Enjoy your peace while it lasts." And just as soon as she came she left, walking back into the fog without a second word. It was only until her back finally disappeared that your legs collapsed under you and you fell to the ground, inhaling shallow breath after shallow breath.

She would have killed you. Given the chance, she wouldn't have hesitated. There was no one you hated more than you, and nothing you hated more than yourself. It took a moment for you to remember the others, and you looked up to see them hovering worriedly around you. They cared for you, because they were empathic and well-adjusted individuals, but they weren't close enough to pry into your business.

You let Yu help you up to your feet, ignoring just how weak it made you feel. "Thank you," you murmured to him. "I'm okay now."

"You don't look like it," he commented. "Do you want to stay with me for a bit? I'll make you something to eat." 

"What are you, my mom?" Still, you regarded him with a fond smile, even as your mind screamed at you to let go of him, stand on your own, reject his offer, shoulder everything yourself. "I don't want to impose on you and Nanako."

"She'd enjoy the company," he replied. Then he looked up and gave a curt nod in the direction of everyone else. "We're all worried about you too. You don't have to tell us the details, but at least let us help you." For someone so young, he could sound so mature. He had it all figured it out before you even begun to reflect upon your life. 

You would take his hand once, and then no one's ever again. That was your plan. You needed him for your one plan, your one favor, and this was a blow to your pride you needed to take. "Alright," you told him, before turning to the others. "I'm sorry you had to see that. I promise I'll explain, just...not now, please."

"Of course. Take your time, okay?" Chie's voice was tinged with enough worry to shake your heart. 

"Yeah, don't feel like you have to or anything." Yosuke rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly. "Sorry. I'm not really sure what to say."

"I as well. But you've already seen the worst of myself, so I don't think it's that different," Yukiko said. But it was, because your shadow was more than just your other self. It was a past that continued to drag you down with it, something inescapable. But you nodded and smiled anyways, because this wasn't something you could express to her.

You looked away from the others with a bitter, wry smile. If the theme of Persona 4 is to face the truth, then perhaps it's a good thing I'm from Persona 3. You were meant to face mortality, not truth.

Once you parted ways you walked in silence with Yu back to his house. He sat you down on the couch as he left for the kitchen, and in the distance you could hear him begin cooking once more. Nanako silently watched TV, looking your way once in a while to see how you were doing. And in such a nostalgic environment, you closed your eyes and listened to the noises around you.

Ah, the stove was on. And there was a familiar informercial tune. Nanako shuffled on the floor and Yu was chopping something now. If you tried hard enough, you could imagine Shinjiro was there, cooking. But it was silent, too silent to try to pretend the rest of SEES was there.

Homesickness. That was what it was. You opened your eyes as Yu began plating everything, and this time you walked with him and helped him grab everything to bring to the table.

After dinner, you followed him outside, where your conversation would be lost to the wind rather than disturb Nanako. "What was that favor you wanted?" he asked. You enjoyed the breeze for a moment, having calmed down from your shadow's earlier visit. 

"You don't have to say yes," you told him first. "It may be a lot, or it may be a little. I'm not sure how much of a burden it'd be."

"Not a problem."

"And I'll pay you back. Money, labor, owing a favor. Those are all fine with me."

He regarded you with amusement. "I don't need that. I don't think so, at least."

"I don't like owing others," you told him frankly. 

"You'll owe me a favor, then," he finally said. "What did you need?"

You took a deep breath, playing with the words in your mind before you decided on a good way to phrase the delicate task you were to put before him. "Next time you go to the Velvet Room, could you bring me along?" He was silent, so you rushed to explain yourself. "It's—I promise it's not out of nowhere. Igor and I made a deal a few years ago, and I thought I might as well come collect it now. If he gets mad you can say it was all my idea."

"Can I ask what kind of deal?" he gently phrased. So he could be tender if he wanted to, who knew? "It's fine if you can't say."

This much you owed him, for asking something so out of pocket. "My boyfriend," you slowly clarified, feeling something in your chest unravel. "It's about my boyfriend."

The dead one, in case he didn't remember. But it seemed he did, because he nodded and didn't push any further. "Alright," he said, nodding again. "I can do that. Let's go right now."

"Right now?" you repeated, but he was already walking down the road so with a deep breath you set off after him, tracing his footsteps in the dark.

Chapter Text

For someone so busy with work, Yukari always managed to make time for you. This week she had filming in Tokyo, so she gladly came by to your place. She insisted on paying rent and you had to fight her off before she was wrangled into being convinced that helping you around the apartment would be enough payment. She left early in the mornings but came back just before rush hour in the evenings, so together you'd make dinner and chat about meaningless things together.

"I heard about that principal," she mentioned on the third day. "The media were quick to jump to the Phantom Thieves being the culprit. It hasn't affected you that much, right?" Everything she said thus far was true. After the apology of Haru's father, principal Kobayashi was discovered to have been sent a calling card. You would be normally be concerned, worried for the implications of the canon path.

But it seemed the wheel still had extra space on the road, because now was a little different from your memories. "Only a little," you conceded. "But to be honest, just one case like this isn't completely enough to sway public opinion to the other side." The Phantom Thieves hadn't killed anyone, after all. It swayed only those who were ready to be convinced, primed to change their mind; but such types of people were a minority. There was more hesitancy towards the Phantom Thieves but it stopped there.

"That's good." She set down her chopsticks, finished with her meal. "And you'd tell me if you needed help, right? My PR team is really good at handling messes—not that I've ever needed it, but still."

You laughed a little, resting your head on your hand as you peered at her across the table. The meal you finished alongside her sat warmly in your stomach, and something contented and warm rested in your chest. One of your few moments of leisure. "Aren't I always receiving your help?" you replied sweetly. "I'd like to help you for a change."

She shook her head. "No way. You're the reason I could get through high school, you know." She said this easily as if it were some God-given truth, but you squinted at her in surprise. She looked back at you a little self-consciously. "W-what?"

"Really?" you asked her, a touch bashfully. "I thought it'd be... I don't know, Minato. He was a real inspirational guy when he said something." And when he was with you, but as much as you loved Yukari, some things were yours to keep forever. Yours, forever. Yours, for life. Not obsessively, but a fond little memory to tuck away and revisit in a few years' time.

"He did give good speeches when he tried," Yukari conceded with a wry smile. "But you were my best friend, not him. You're a lot more incredible than you think you are." Maybe that was true. You were trying to be more objective about yourself recently, rather than be the first to decry how useless you were. The way Yukari smiled at you, though...for some reason you were a little flustered by her sincerity. Your Yukari from high school was begrudging in her compliments, but now she dished them out like nothing.

She grew just as flustered too within moments. "Thank you!" you quickly exclaimed, as her perfectly manicured nails curled in and out of fists on the table. "Yukari, you're my best friend forever!"

"And you're mine too," she mumbled. "...anyways, why don't I help you clear the dishes?" She stood quickly and gathered up all the plates before you could stop her, so you scrambled to your feet to salvage what was left. For a celebrity, she didn't hesitate to help you start washing, even though you tried to dissuade her. One blemish on her hands was dangerous, but she waved you off. "I've been through a lot worse than just washing the dishes."

"I don't know if I can handle Pink Featherman hurting her hands," you pouted.

She laughed. "I'm in the suit most of the time anyways. It won't be a big deal." Still, you appreciated her help. You finished washing and drying the dishes twice as fast with her, which meant more time spent chatting in the living room about odds and ends. Before, she would know every inch of your life, having been around you in school and in the dorm. But now there was so much she didn't know about, moments she could never experience for herself.

The rest of the evening was light, filled with stories you had gathered over the months in wait for her. When the night grew dark, you parted ways with her to your separate bedrooms and slept lightly. In the morning you greeted her over the breakfast you prepared and split on the street, each to your separate destinations. For you, it was work—work, then the allure of Phantom Thief business.

They were just now discussing the school festival in all its plot-relevant glory. Or more accurately, its single appearance of a plot-relevant character. You still had no idea how Akechi was faring, but you knew for a fact he and Akira were meeting relatively often. That wild card charm was indeed irresistible from the looks of it. 

Your meeting was held in Akira's quaint little attic, which you promptly stopped by after school. Sojiro greeted you from the entrance. "Good to see you," he called. "While you're here, when do you think you can pick up another shift? Some of the regulars have been asking about you."

"Soon," you assured him. "I've got to sort out this business first, but then I'll be giving you all my free time. I hope you don't mind."

"Why would I mind another source of revenue?" He chuckled. "The kid has promise, but you've got a better way with words than him." More like you weren't a blank slate protagonist given life, but you laughed along lightly and waved as you ascended the stairs up. Everyone else had arrived before you, and they quickly greeted you, directing you over to a spot on the couch.

"For the school festival," Makoto began eventually, "I was thinking...we can invite Akechi. Although he's been clear on his stance, it's not as if we've lost our public standing. There's a lot more we can gain from him than lose." Wheel on the road. Pebble in its path. 

"I agree too," you added, just to speed the process along. "Actually, Sae's been a little more tight-lipped around me too. Not that she ever told me anything juicy enough to use, but..."

Makoto sighed a little. "She hasn't snapped at you or anything, right?"

"No, no, she's still polite to me." Thank god Sae hadn't yet become mean. You didn't know if you could handle that. Then again, you had the foreknowledge to avoid touching upon any sore subjects. But maybe, just maybe, she did care about you enough to keep on that veneer of civility. "Is she...mean to you?"

"Well..." Her shoulders slumped. "I'd be more surprised if she wasn't. But not that it's your fault or anything. We live together, and she's the one paying the bills for me. You're one of her closest friends."

"Me?" You pointed to yourself, and she gave you a wry smile.

"Yes, you. Who else would I be talking to here?" She shot a look towards Akira, who jerked his head up and looked at her innocently. Now that was certainly someone who made it his business to woo over older women. "But I'm glad you agree with inviting Akechi. In that case, are we decided?"

Akira nodded. "I can ask him," he offered. "Give me a moment." He pulled out his phone, and immediately everyone crowded around his shoulders, trying to get a peek at their elusive DMs. Akira's finger hovered over Akechi's contact, before he turned around at his audience.

"Sorry," Futaba said, not at all sincerely. "You know I can just hack your phone later, right?"

He shrugged, so she rolled her eyes and finally backed off. Once the last voyeur left his vicinity he hunched over and began typing with a speed that would put any professional typist to shame. Everyone watched him, but the presence of an audience only seemed to boost him further. "Ah," he said after a moment. "He replied."

"What'd he say?" Yusuke asked, squinting in the direction of Akira's phone. Akira didn't reply for a moment, typing back. And because you all were too kind to violate his private conversation, you had to wait and watch. He smiled a little a few minutes later and tossed his phone at you, which you fumbled with for a moment before clasping it tightly. 

Because he decided to trust you (and because you were the closest to him so he didn't have to chuck his phone across the room) you only glanced at the last few lines of text. "Oh, you got him to agree." Sure enough, Akira wrangled out of Akechi a promise to be there as a guest speaker, saying he'd hash out the details with Makoto on his own. You wisely ignored the heart emoji next to Akechi's contact name as you passed his phone back. His phone went from one person in love with a dead man to another. "I guess that's settled, then. Good job!" You rubbed his hair around a little, and he ducked his head, letting you do as you wished.

"That's great!" Ann exclaimed. "You're coming too, right?" She looked at you with big, bright eyes. For a moment you were shot down by her clear enthusiasm. 

You did have work, but you were also skipping more and more of it recently. Just until the Phantom Thieves were done, then you'd stop using Mitsuru to get you out of working hours. It was fine to rely on her just a little, right? "I'll do my best," you assured her. "I'm kind of excited, since I haven't been to any since high school." And the one year you did have to spend with Minato it was cancelled, so it always left a bad taste in your mouth. 

"We gotta make it the best then!" Ryuji grinned at you. "You should come by and walk around with us! If that's okay with everyone, I mean."

Everyone shared how they wanted the same thing too, and old and experienced as you were, it still made you a little flustered to see their sincerity. "You don't think it'd be weird walking around with some random adult?" People would probably ask who you were and then you'd have to explain that you weren't related. 

"Not at all," said Akira. "Actually, you can call yourself my older sister." First someone's cousin, now an older sister. You and these wild cards were inseparable, weren't you? You liked that very much. 

"Sure, if someone asks." The meeting concluded soon after, but you hung back in the attic as everyone filtered out. Once Ryuji finished waving and finally went downstairs you crossed your legs and leaned forward a little. You did this quite often, waiting to have a private conversation with him, so he certainly could predict your intentions now. He took a seat beside you, and you shifted a little so you could face him.

"What's up?" he asked.  

Your mom. "Ah. Well." You hadn't thought hard enough about how to even broach the topic. "Akechi," you began, before you scrunched your face up in instant regret. "That's a bad way to put it, but I wanted to talk about Akechi. Do you...like him?"

"He's fun to talk to."

Yes, of course he was. Archenemy and all. "You know what I mean." Although you had been fully prepared to launch into a speech about the inevitability of death, seeing how that wouldn't matter because his big sister was well aware of the future forced it all to dry up in your throat when you looked at him. I shouldn't have done this, you thought to yourself. Because now I'm going to have to choose between blissful ignorance or the truth. 

That's his decision to make, not yours, you thought back.

And yet you're making it for him now. 

"What's wrong?" he asked. But at this point the die had been cast and he was far too perceptive for you to shrug off the issue like nothing happened, so...confront him about liking someone meant to die it was. But perhaps not so bluntly. 

"Akechi is..." Slowly, steadily. "...he's hiding something from you." Akira tilted his head up a little as he looked at you.

"I know." Yes he did, didn't he? But not like you. Not in the way you did. And he wouldn't, because unlike your Minato he was new to this whole wild card thing. You had plenty of experience looking through the guises of those who repeated time, and you knew for a fact it wasn't true for him.

You tried again, though it was in vain. "Akechi's hiding multiple things, even." The words seemed to sting your lips, and you struggled to think of a good way to phrase your thoughts. "I mean that he's... There's something you don't know about him." He's going to kill you and kill himself, and what if you regret falling in love with him? What if I can't do anything? 

What if you're a version of me, if I didn't know the future? Am I making you into the person I was by doing all of this, then? So unnecessary. So meddlesome. "Do you know what he's hiding?" asked Akira. Guileless, clueless, innocent Akira. You could only draw your arms into yourself and huddle away the coldness seeping into your skin.

"A little bit," you conceded. "I can tell you. I can tell you anything you want to know. Do you want to know?"

He looked at you, through you. But he always had that uncanny sight, as if the person you presented yourself as was always a flimsy disguise. Not unkindly, because he didn't have that kind of quality in him. But with a bluntness often observed in silent protagonists. "Thank you for the offer," he began, and you could already see the trajectory of your conversation before it ended, "but it's okay. I want to hear it from him."

"Even if you might regret it?" The words slipped unfounded, and you pressed your lips together after. If he was so certain in your decision, why would you try to get any other response from him? Because you wanted to pull him down with you, into a spiral of regret and hopelessness? You were just now starting to recover, so why pull him into the same pit?

No, he was different. "I'm sure I won't," he told you, and you held back everything else you had to say.

"Okay," you choked out, keeping your voice steady. "And I'm sorry. It was presumptuous of me to ask, wasn't it?"

He only smiled a little as he looked at you, still unbothered. "Aren't you just looking out for me? I appreciate it."

No, you were only interested in your selfish platitudes. But he was so nice to you, unfailingly and unflinchingly looking for whatever goodness he thought there was in you. But you did like him. He really was a little brother of sorts to you, one you would've gladly taken in. He was like Ken, you thought. Same age, but so different. Different weights of the world; Ken carried his burden and Akira carried his. 

"Aren't you curious about me, then? How I know?" You were beyond simple secrecy at this point. He deserved at least some truth, at least some openness. "I can answer that too."

He continued to meet your eyes from behind his thick, clunky glasses. "Do you want to tell me?" he asked. 

"Maybe one day." You weren't ready to give him hope and take it away from him just yet, if you couldn't do your job right. "But right now, I'm not ready."

He shrugged. "Then I'll wait. I'm not in a hurry." You should be, young man. You've got time limits on everything.

"When you're old enough to drink, then," you suggested. "I'll buy you your first drink. You might need it."

He stuck out his pinky finger for you. "Sure, that's a deal." So you reached out with your own, linking your pinkies, shaking them up and down in an unspoken promise. Now you felt like you were leading him to a bad habit, but having someone tell you that your entire world was a video game did seem a little too raw to be parted upon him without something to cushion the blow. Like a can of beer. 

You said your goodbyes after and departed for your apartment, where Yukari was getting ready to start traveling to another shoot location. "I'll let you know as soon as I'm back," she promised you after you helped her pack her suitcase into the back of her manager's car. "Make sure to call and text, okay?"

"I will, I will. Make sure you drink plenty of water!" You swept her up into one last hug and she tentatively pat your back a couple times. Still the same with hugs, you noticed, even after all these years. "I won't keep you any longer, then. Text me when you're at the hotel!"

You waved to her until the car was gone, and wandered back into your apartment by yourself. The place was quiet once more, empty of people. The size was a touch too big for one person, but you had managed all this time on your own, so you ambled off to bed and made a note to start calling in more vacation days tomorrow morning.

The first day of the cultural festival had been largely uneventful but still fun. Some stands were close to falling apart with reckless planning, and others were on par with professional businesses in how good they were at convincing you to spend all your money on some sub-par stall food. But Ann insisted on going to one particular place, so before long you ended up crammed at one table around one microwave-heated plate of takoyaki.

The yakisoba, taiyaki, and other various assortment of snacks which you had been dragged away from passed through your mind briefly. Maybe you should've grabbed something from the other stalls just to see what it'd be like, and not the worst takoyaki you had the misfortune of meeting. The mystery flavors back at Tatsumi Port Island were more outlandish, but definitely had the look of takoyaki.

For a moment you were at a clear loss. The group turned their eyes upon you sympathetically. "Let's go get some actual takoyaki later," Ryuji suggested, "and not whatever this is."

"Well... It can't be that bad, right?" Ann tried to smooth things over, but it really was partially her fault. Mostly her fault. You didn't hold it against her. You could buy all the takoyaki you wanted anytime you wanted, not that you could ever want that much takoyaki. "It's still got octopus in  it... And we might have bonito flakes somewhere in the back..."

"There is no artistry in these at all," Yusuke muttered. "Incidentally, the grilled squid we passed by earlier was remarkably well shaped..."

"I'll buy you one," you offered, and he nodded with a smile.

"I would appreciate it." Before you could pull out your wallet and pass him your credit card yourself seeing how just one grilled squid wasn't enough after all, a set of footsteps approached and you turned to see Akechi himself strolling up to the group. He was all bright smiles and waves, and instead of grabbing your wallet you settled your hand on the bottle of iced tea you bought earlier this morning.

You said little as he performed his theatrics; wide, sweeping movements, guileless smile, the image of innocence. But you knew the truth, and you watched his eyes flicker to Akira's for a moment. Do you like him too? you wondered, but not for long. You waited for him to eat the one bright red takoyaki, playing into the hands of his predetermined destiny.

How am I supposed to keep you from dying if you can't keep yourself from eating a spicy octopus ball? you wondered, but not for long. You quickly pulled out your bottle of iced tea and pressed it into his hands. He tried to pass it back but you shook your head. "You can just throw it away," you told him, "but this is the least I can do."

One apology worth one bottle. He would likely throw it away as soon as you were out of sight, because he was distrustful, deceitful Akechi, who would die alone and unwanted. But not now. Someone loved him, even if he cut a sorry figure retreating from the takoyaki table.

But that was how it went. The present would change, but not by much. Minato lived a second life. He died. Akechi lived his first life. He would die. Your silence didn't go unnoticed, but you had always been prone to periods of quiet self-reflection, so the Phantom Thieves exchanged a few looks but let you be.

Anyways, that wasn't important. The show must go on, or so they said. The point was, you dragged yourself to Akechi's presentation, showed off a normal amount of shock when he talked about knowing the Phantom Thieves, and walked yourself to the point of no return by showing up in the faculty office to get exposed by Akechi. 

Everything had to go as planned. Everything had to go as Igor wanted. Akechi began his expose by showing off his pictures, talking a big game about how he knew everything, why he knew everything, how smart he was for figuring it all out. "And I also met the true perpetrator," he finally said, eyes flickering to meet yours nearly too fast to notice. But you were looking for it, so you caught him. "He was masked, and when he saw me he pointed his gun at me. I almost died."

Yes, he would certainly be over if you put together that he was the masked stranger who tried to kill Haru's father—except you already had, and you chose to pretend you had no idea. "Hey, didn't you guys also run into the masked guy?" Ryuji was quick to ask, looking between you and Akira.

You nodded. "Yeah, we did," you began, keeping your voice steady and expression smooth. You weren't a terribly good actor, but you at least had composure with you. "And we could barely thwart him from killing Okumura." A little exaggeration, but if Akechi voiced any objections, that would prove his guilt. So he didn't.

"How fearsome... I'm glad you're unharmed then. Both of you." I'm sure you are. You kept an eye on him as he went through his laundry list of demands, laying out his terms. Join the Phantom Thieves. Won't reveal the truth. Watching him was like sitting in a movie theater, reclined against the seats, unable to change a thing before you.

Ten minutes passed quickly. You returned to your places in the auditorium, eyes on Akechi. Everyone watched him; he drew attention like moths to a candle, but unlike moths this attention would eventually smother him whole. He basked in it, certainly, but it was a mere salve to the true weight crushing his heart, loneliness.

You hung back with Akira after Akechi's speed ended and he absconded. Everyone had left to do their own thing, and you stood with him just a little outside of the auditorium, backed up against a wall all discreet-like. "I won't monopolize your attention for long," you assured him, peering around the corner to see if anyone was listening.

"I don't mind," he replied. "You have good advice."

"Like my words can even be called advice." You gave yourself a good self-deprecating chuckle. "You're accepting Akechi's offer, right?"

He pressed his lips into a thin line. "He has too much information on us," he slowly explained. You only raised a hand.

"No, no, I'm not here to lecture you. I just wanted to make sure." You took a deep breath. "I want you to bring him in. Have you heard of fate, Akira?"

"Who hasn't?"

"Yeah, yeah, you don't need to get smart about it." At least he had a bit of a bite to him. Minato might've nodded and waited for you to go on, Yu might've agreed and prodded you for more details, but only Akira had it in him to snark back at you. Or maybe he was the only one brave enough. "Think of this as fate, then. Akechi has to join the team, and everything will fall into place. You trust me, right?"

He didn't even need a moment. "I trust you."

"Then, when the time comes... I want you to remember what you said now." You put your hand on his shoulder firmly, looking into his eyes. "Akechi has a hidden plan of his own, so we're going to stop it."

"And change fate?" he asked, having already grasped the undercurrent of your bold words.

"Hopefully." You smiled, but it didn't reach your eyes. "You'll be on my side, right?"

He nodded. "Yeah, I will," he agreed, but secretly, you thought he'd be on Akechi's.

Chapter Text

Yu walked fast, though with how long and lanky he was it really didn't come as a surprise. You still fought tooth and nail to catch up to him anyways, but the speed at which he propelled himself forward was on another level. Was he trying to shake you off so he didn't actually have to take you to the Velvet Room?

Still, you were asking this large favor of him. It didn't behoove you to go asking more from him at this point, so you ran with him to the shopping district. He finally stopped in front of an empty space, turning back to make sure you were there. "Sorry, did I go too fast? I'm not used to going with someone else."

He was playing with you. No way he didn't notice your struggle. "Not a problem," you gasped back, crooked smile twitching at the seams. "Is the entrance here?"

He nodded, so you walked up to him and tried to take another look at where his eyes were. But of course, you weren't one of the special wild cards. Far from that, you were told point blank you could never be one. It was not so much a slight to your honor as it was a slight to your daydreams. In an ideal world you'd take up the mantle of wild card and chain yourself to the seal for all of eternity. 

But you had made such a deal anyways. So you raised your head bravely. "Lead the way," you told him, and for once he didn't take the chance to toy with your feelings. He held out his hand as a proper escort and you took it, and together you walked into an entrance only he could see. It was a strange sensation for you, like passing through a thick wall of jelly, viscous and weightless. 

And then blue unfurled before your eyes. The car rumbled beneath your feet and you looked around the limousine, trying to take in every detail with your eyes. The elevator you had once been in had a cramped air to it, moving along its vertically limited journey. In comparison, the luxury of this car was in stark contrast. Yu took a seat so you scrambled to sit with him too, and the drinks hoisted in the cup holders rattled ever so gently.

"So you've made your way back once more." Igor watched you from across the table at the other side of the limousine, languid in his posture. "You certainly are resourceful. But I expected no less from you."

"I do my best," you assured him. "I take it you're not mad?"

His chuckle was low. "Certainly not. I was awaiting your entrance, to be specific. I trust you need no introductions to my new attendants?"

"Margaret, Marie." You dipped your head towards them. "It's nice to meet the two of you. I'm—"

"With the previous guest, yeah." Marie waved her hand at you. "Is that all? You're just here for a visit?"

"More than that, I'd assume," Margaret chimed in. "It's a pleasure to make your acquaintance as well. I've heard a little about you from Elizabeth." That was surprising to you, and you sat up straighter, unable to hide the jerk of your shoulders.

"Really?"

"Yeah, really," Marie chimed in. "She's got so much to say. You'd think she'd get tired of hearing her own voice."

Marie's lips tightened for a moment. "Although I may not phase it in that way, it's as Marie says. Elizabeth has never been...choosy in which anecdotes she brings up. But I believe she was fascinated with hearing about her guest's life, and you happened to be a large part of that."

You smiled to yourself, suddenly feeling a little bashful. "I'm glad we're both aware of each other, then. It would make this a lot easier." You finally remembered your ticket into the Velvet Room in the first place, and you hesitantly turned to him. "Do you really want to be here to listen to everything?"

"Why not?" he replied, squeezing your hand for a moment. You belatedly realized you were still clinging to him, but before you could politely withdraw your hand he smiled again and left his fingers in yours. "I'll be your moral support."

Sure, if he wanted to. You returned your attention back to Igor and his attendants, clearing up your mind. You had one thing to ask, just one hope you carried with you for so long. It had been the one thing which forced you to rise to your feet and continue walking, and along the way it had become the bane of your existence, the sole reason pushing you onwards.

You came to Igor in your lowest moment, beaten down by the world. You were no longer young and brave enough to face the universe on your own. You were tired, older, and weary from the exhaustions of adult life. You were the youngest of young adults, but the life you had conducted had aged you past normalcy. "We made a deal," you began, just to ensure you were all on the same page. All those years ago, you had asked this one thing of him. "I asked if I could see Minato one last time. And you agreed."

You spoke this, and then you sat and waited for his response. His acknowledgement. "I do recall such an agreement," he agreed. "And I fully intend to keep it."

Your shoulders sagged in relief. "Thank you," you murmured. "That's just what I wanted to hear."

"But," he continued, and there it was, the sudden shift in tone. Your heart picked up once more. "I don't believe you're ready right now."

"What?" You could only furrow your eyes at him in confusion. If not now then when? The love of your life was dead, your shadow wanted you to die, and some days even living came so hard to you. When you wandered to Inaba it had been in pursuit of a reason, any reason, to push onwards. Every day waking up in that small inn room felt like a prison of your own making. That happiness which colored your days in high school was nowhere to be seen, replaced with the monotony of a life without him. The guilt that came from living when he didn't. "I don't understand," you repeated, voice pitifully small.

"Now is too early." He lifted a hand and held it palm up. "There is a destiny for everything. I believe we spoke of this last time we met. The road which you must travel down upon has not yet reached its destination."

Destination. Fate. You were tired of hearing that. "Is everything so predetermined?" you asked him, grasping for any straws. "Are you so limited by this idea of the wheel in the road? Are you a slave to Philemon's whims, is that it?" Perhaps that was a little cruel. "I certainly feel like it," you murmured as an afterthought in attempt to smooth out your words. You could never be cruel without a little kindness to balance things out.

"Nothing so," said Igor. Beside you, Yu shifted a little in his seat, turning a little to watch your expression. "Do you want my honest opinion?"

So he was afraid he'd hurt your feelings, but not knowing would hurt more. "Yes," you insisted, voice tight. "Please, tell me. I don't understand."

His voice never did change much, but with the way Yu looked at you, you knew it was quite a serious topic. You would've known even without the outside reinforcement, but Igor spoke with the same nasally inflection you heard all those years ago. "You're looking for an excuse," he said, one palm raised once more as if presenting you with something. The truth, maybe. "You want a reason to live. I don't think he would appreciate being used as one." 

And wasn't it funny, having Igor of all people preaching to you about healthy mental habits to acquire. About what Minato would want, like he was an expert—and maybe he was the expert on one of his guests. There were so many unknown moments they had together you weren't around for, even though you clung to Minato like a lifeline. You had made peace with that long ago, knowing you couldn't always be there for him. But now you wished you were. Now all that self-comfort and learn-to-let-go thoughts seemed to take their leave.

Igor seemed to know him better than you. And wasn't it funny, you making this into a competition? You witnessed his story from the confines of a console. He was the purveyor of fate, beholder of destiny, and you were someone who couldn't even become a wild card. "Maybe you're right," you conceded anyways, knowing when you had to back off. "Always thinking of other people, wasn't he?" And he was. You loved and hated him in equal parts for that. 

Igor's eyes bore into yours and his smile, as always, seemed to dig something out of you. "I have every intention of following through with my promise," he assured you once more. "I don't make empty bargains."

"That he does not," Margaret added, and Marie begrudgingly nodded as well. "Your... He will be safe with us." It didn't slip your notice how she didn't put a name to your relationship. It was a hard thing to define, a dead lover. Saying the facts was too harsh. Saying anything else would be a lie. 

You turned to Yu now, rejection and remorse tightly swaddled in your stomach. "Shall we go, then?" you asked. He nodded, standing as he pulled you with him to the exit. He offered a small wave to the denizens of the Velvet Room before he exited first.

"Here, step carefully." He pulled you through with him and you landed comfortably on your feet in the darkness of Inaba at night. But unlike last time when you had to walk back with Adachi, you felt infinitely more comforted. Even if Yu was cruel in his inconsistencies, he still had a bottom line he wouldn't cross. "Thanks for taking me there," you finally said, and now that you were finally out of the Velvet Room and your failure had sunk in, so had the bitter cold.

Your breath came came out white in the night air. You shivered a little, but voiced no complaints. Nothing like freezing a little to jerk you back to full alertness. You'd still have to make the walk back to your room in the cold, teeth chattering all the way. Right now you were only building your resistance.

"No problem," said Yu, and he stopped, standing in front of you. His eyes met yours. "And sorry that it didn't work out for you."

"So you can be sorry," you sarcastically drawled. But then you smiled, showing that you weren't truly upset. "It's nothing. If he's talking about me becoming at peace or something, it's true I'm not there yet." And I don't know how I'll get to be there, but that's not your problem. Just mine.

"Sounds like you've got a lot on your plate." He turned around, taking a few steps as he pulled you along before he thought to actually ask you. "Want to head back? Nanako should be well asleep by now."

You wondered what intentions he had, before that wonder turned into curiosity. "Sure thing," you agreed, and set off after him. But this time he walked slower, letting you catch up to him before he turned back to the road and walked forward once more. Something about him had obviously changed since he saw your pathetic display. Did he feel pity for you? Maybe so. You'd certainly feel pity for yourself.

Not for the first time just in the past few minutes, you were reminded of Minato. But wasn't it natural? You missed him and you couldn't even see him. Just the thought of being able to see him in the future wasn't enough. Igor stopped you for his own reasons, but you could feel your memories of the meeting slipping further and further away from you. 

"The moon is beautiful, isn't it?" asked Yu, and you jerked from your thoughts to turn up towards the moon. It hung heavy and round, sweet enough to place in your mouth and chew. You looked back at him with mild suspicion, but he smiled like always. Did he always smile this much in the original? Then again, your memories were in the process of deteriorating. 

You had a feeling he knew just how important the moon was to you. "It really is," you agreed, pressing down the instinctive dread that accompanied such a round moon. "Any particular reason to say so this night?"

He shrugged. "Not really. Just making an observation." The light of the moon illuminated your walk home, guiding your path in soft white. So it could be more than a sign of death after all. Who knew? You thought about Chang'e sitting on the moon, making mochi with her rabbit. You thought about Hou Yi sitting on Earth, never to meet his wife again.

You thought about the emails your professors sent you. You thought about your friends, who would never again live together in the same dorms, fight side by side on the daily, eat the same meals. You thought about Minato, but then you stopped yourself. Too much thinking for the night when all you really needed was to sleep. 

As you finally arrived at Yu's house he quietly opened the door and walked inside. Nanako had been put to sleep long ago, but he walked delicately. "Wait here," he said, motioning towards the dinner table. So you took a seat on the floor and waited with bright eyes in the dark as he walked into the kitchen, flipped on the lights, and opened the fridge.

You briefly checked the time as he turned the stove on. It was a little past eleven, not quite late night yet, but later than a schoolkid ought to be up at. "Here," Yu said, and you set your phone down to see him place a mug of warm milk before you. You bit back a smart comment about being too old for warm milk when you saw he had a mug with him too.

"Thanks," you replied, taking a tentative sip under his watchful eyes. 

For a moment you recalled Shinjiro doing the same for you. One night after the funeral you had been curled up in the couch in the lobby, unable to sleep. You stared at the dark as if it could stare back, until Shinjiro stepped out from it with warm milk.

"Here," he said, just as Yu did. "Drink this and go to sleep."

You were embarrassed. Because, after all, this was your secret time to brood. You didn't want the others worrying, wasting their precious time on you. "Thank you," you had murmured, accepting anyways. "Are you going to tell the others?"

"Not unless you make this a habit." He had given you a weird look, face twisted in some way. "I—you—ugh." He turned away. "He probably would've had something nice to say, huh?"

It took you a moment to realize Shinjiro was talking about Minato. "Yeah." Wouldn't he? "But it's okay. Thank you for being here, Shinjiro-senpai. I don't need you to say something comforting." He cared in his own way. You never doubted that. The people around you were all such kind people. "Just having you here is enough."

He eyed you a certain way, with a gaze you couldn't ever understand. "You're lucky I don't need that much sleep then," he drawled in his gruff, scratchy voice. He took a seat beside you carefully, and you felt the couch dip under his weight for a moment. And then the silence stretched on, but this time there was the presence of someone else next to you.

The dark stopped staring. And in your case now, in the present, it had been driven away the moment Yu flipped on the lights. You squinted up at him and he quickly took a seat across from you at the table, crossing his legs leisurely. "Something wrong?" he asked.

"Won't the lights wake Nanako up?"

"Nope. Just speak quietly and we're fine. She can sleep through anything." He looked at you now, and under the bright light of the living room you felt as if you were on display for him. He scrutinized your face with the amount of care one would devote to a painting in the museum, checking every ridge of smeared oil paint. "Do you want to talk about what happened?"

Not particularly, but it was too late now to pretend it didn't happen. And you owed him a great deal, so what was a little more heartbreak in the grand scheme of things? The crack in your heart spread with every word, but you held it together with nothing but a deep breath. "My boyfriend, Minato," you began, voice light. "He was the wild card before you."

"Yeah." Yu relaxed his shoulders, propping his head up with one arm. "I know."

This was certainly a surprise. You openly gaped at him first, before he smiled at your silence and you quickly shut your mouth, determined to not let him have the complete upper hand. "You do?" you asked. You tried to sound cool about it, but that same fumbling awkwardness from your youth still moved your mouth anyways. "Wait, what? Since when? How?"

He looked at you. He was looking for something, you realized. Understanding? Acknowledgement? What could he even want with a reject of fate, someone who was nowhere on his level? He was a wild card. You were a failed attempt at one. "What do you think?" he asked, infuriatingly open and vague. You chewed on your bottom lip to vent out some of the frustration which bubbled to the surface.

This was important. Especially important. He knew more than he should. He knew someone he shouldn't. He knew the truth, and he hadn't reacted much in spite of everything you revealed to him. "You knew," you thought out loud. "But how? How much do you know?"

"What do you think?" he repeated. "Come on, nee-san. You can do it." This guy was just good at getting on your nerves, was he? Switching his character settings like that at the drop of a hat. 

"You knew about my boyfriend." No question about that. "And you weren't surprised when I asked you if we could go to the Velvet Room. You knew I was going to ask you. How?"

"What do you th—"

"We're having a civil discussion here, aren't we?" You crossed your arms across the table, facing him with an inscrutable smile. Two could play at his game, if he was so desperate to lord his knowledge over you. "Let's hear what you have to say too."

His smile was equally impenetrable. "Igor told me," he simply said. "Beforehand. He said you'd ask, and to let you in."

You made a face at him. "So he knew I'd come and still put on a show. Just like you."

He shrugged. "Can't argue with that."

"Right." You leaned forward. "Igor told you to let me in. You already know about the previous wild card." There was that nagging thought again, wiggling around in the back of your mind like a loose tooth. He knew things in advance. Like you. You thought about Yosuke's comments, his intelligence, his speed, his uncanny ability to command his teammates and his effortless mastery of his personas.

You assumed it was his natural temperament, the chad Narukami Yu doing what he always did. But now you had a new thought in mind, something far more likely. "You're repeating this year, aren't you?" you asked him. "Just like Minato did." 

His smile was proof enough, but his eyes were a stormy grey. He smiled but his eyes didn't. He was thinking of other things. You almost inched back a little at the sight, suddenly feeling much less comfortable in his presence. He smiled—but did he mean it? He smiled because it was convenient to him, maybe. "How astute of you," he commented calmly, even in spite of your shifting opinion of him. "To be honest, I knew about you before Igor told me."

"We've never met." He looked at you. You pursed your lips. "...but you've met Minato."

He nodded. "We crossed paths on occasion in the Velvet Room before. That's how I heard about you." Seeing your look of unabashed hope, he was quick to dash them. "In my previous year, that is. Before this one."

So he knew what you'd ask, if right now he could speak to Minato. But of course that wouldn't happen. Minato had to die. Their paths crossing was a treat, but it was nothing more than that. You could do nothing, meaningless in your actions, helpless till the end; that was you, a miserable, wretched— 

With a touch so gentle it made you forget who the person sitting across from you was, Yu pulled you out of your drifting thoughts with a tug on your sleeve. "Don't let it get to you," he said, remarkably kind for someone who could be so insensitive. That, and it meant he knew you well. Why did he know you well?

"How do you know these things about me?" you asked him, only a fraction fearful of the answer.

The mugs of milk had long since been forgotten, you realized, just as he answered. "Why wouldn't I? I've been waiting to meet you." Before you could question why, he continued onwards. "I've only heard about you, from someone as closed off as Arisato. I wanted to see what about you made him change."

If he meant Minato's character development, that was long over by the time you arrived. "That's where you're wrong," you told him firmly. "When I met him he was already repeating his year. He already died once for the world, so that's why he changed."

"You're only speaking from your perspective," he simply commented. "Do you think anyone is so willing to die? I don't think Arisato was a saint—and I'm pretty good at reading people. But when I saw him last, before your final confrontation, he was fully prepared to die."

And yet, the Minato in your memories had always been unfailingly kind, resolved to his fate—resolved or resigned? Yu's words touched upon some part of you that had always been doubting without reason. He was a tragic hero. He knew he was going to die. Did you force that upon him? If you changed him, wasn't it for the worst? He should've struggled against his second death, fought until the bitter end against the fate which chained him so.

Oh, this was no good. If Yu was telling the truth, what you had done was condemn him. You raised your head to look at him, only to see him frowning back at you. You expected him to be smiling, delighting in your display of emotions. "What are you thinking?" came his demanding voice.

"I thought you were good at reading people," you murmured.

"I'm not a mind reader." He hesitated for a moment. "Did I make you feel bad? That wasn't my intention."

"You're telling me I killed him. Aren't you?" Vulnerability was a part of your personality you loathed showing, but now you had no choice but to bare the broken parts of yourself before his cold eyes. 

"Are you saying..." He trailed off, gathering his thoughts. "No, not like that. I don't know everything, but I know he was going to die. He told me. That was a fact no one could change. But to walk towards it because you have no other choice is different from understanding why you have to, why it's inevitable, why it matters. You let him see that." Beautiful words, sure, but you had no end of beautiful words. You wanted a beautiful meaning, one that would make your heart stop hurting and his loss stop bleeding. "Would you think the same thing if I told you that instead of his sacrifice it was a normal human death he accepted?"

Death, in its purest form, was inevitable. And in Persona 3, death had been a central theme. Remember, you will die. You knew this and Yu didn't, but he still struck the nail on the head anyways, and you resented that. "Why are you telling me this? Why are you being so nice?"

He tilted his head, though now the action seemed far more calculated than natural. Still, he accepted your abrupt change in topic with ease. "Right now, the only people left who know the future, who have stepped off the same dirt road, are you and me. Doesn't that make you feel sad?"

"Can you even feel sad?" you cautiously asked.

"Of course. You seem to think of me differently, but I'm just the same as you—perhaps with different standards, but it's not like I'm incapable of feeling things." Maybe you were too harsh. But even now, you knew you could never see him in the same way again. "I don't want you to think any differently of me," he continued. "But I planned on telling you the truth no matter what."

"Why?"

"It's just you and me left," he said. "You're the closest thing I have to a family."

"And the Investigation Team? Nanako? Dojima?"

He shrugged. "I love them, but they're a different kind of family. You and I, we're bound not by blood or choice but something stronger. I won't lie to you, so I hope you won't lie to me."

Lying was an ongoing effort, keeping tabs on every mistruth that came out of your mouth. "I don't have that kind of energy," you mumbled, shoulders slackening. "Not anymore."

"You'll get it back. Take a break," he suggested, before he slowly rose to his feet and collected the mugs. He walked to the kitchen so you stood as well, following behind him. He washed the mugs carefully, with the same precise fingers. He was almost the same person again, confident, cool, in control of his life. And he still was, but now you knew behind that intricate guise was someone else. "You're going back to Tokyo, right? You were never meant to be here long."

"Right." You looked up at him. He was still focused on the mugs in the sink. "Can you help me talk to the others tomorrow?"

He turned off the tap, gently shaking the mugs before he set them on the drying rack. "No problem." He dried off his hands then ushered you out of the kitchen, flicking off the lights. He walked you to the exit, slipping on his shoes, taking you outdoors back into the cold with the ease of someone used to escorting guests. Must've done it often in his first run.

"You should head back before it gets too late," he said. "Should we pick this up tomorrow? I'll tell the others."

You nodded, tongue thick in your mouth. Your head was stuffy, filled to the brim with every little thing you learned today. And then you let it all go on one breath, eyes on the moon. "Okay. I'll see you then." You turned to walk, taking a few steps forward, before you stopped and walked back.

"Something wrong?" he asked, hands in his pockets. 

There was a thought in your mind, something that felt insignificant but sat around and took up space. "Yu," you asked him, meeting his eyes with absolutely sincerity. "Why are you repeating this year?"

He didn't immediately respond. His eyes gleamed in the dark, but something in him paused and sat still. When the silence dragged on long enough he finally said, "I became the accomplice of Adachi."

You watched him for a while. He certainly didn't want to tell you this, considering how long he paused before speaking. He knew you well, in that case, because it didn't make you think any better of him. But you couldn't say you hadn't expected it with the way he found your reactions fascinating, like watching a bug in a jar. 

Minato must've lived again as a reward, and Yu lived again as a punishment to set him on the right path. It was a little cruel, but you were glad the protagonist you chose to follow was Minato and not Yu. "I expect you'll be learning your lesson," you simply said. At least he had been truthful with you. "I'll put my tentative trust in you."

The corner of his mouth quirked up. "Thank you." You were sure he meant it.

Chapter Text

Look, you raised a fuss about Sae's palace and how you were kind of, sort of, betraying her trust by marching in like that while she was busy complaining about the Phantom Thieves to you in real life. But now that you were situated smack dab in one of the safe rooms in the casino to catch your breath, you had no such guilt. Sae would never change without a little pushing, and you? You were excellent at a giving people a good metaphorical shove or two.

Not that you had been able to shove yourself towards therapy in years past, but regardless. "You're friends with Nijima, right?" Akechi asked. "Nijima Sae, that is," he corrected himself, even though everyone and their mom knew which one he was referring to.

That was the other problem. You were well-behaved and sweet as a pea, but Akechi had seemingly zeroed in on you, peppering you with innocuous questions that dug a little too deep to be completely innocent. And if he was intelligent, that was obviously the correct course of action—you saw him prancing around trying to murder Haru's dad as the true culprit, you were the oldest, and you stood out like a sore thumb. Just as he watched you, you watched him. Two sets of eyes chasing each other around, and not in the fun, fruity way like with Akira and Akechi.

"We're friends," you calmly replied, turning your body to face him. You were the oldest in the room. No sense throwing hands with a seventeen year old. "She's one of my closest ones."

"I see, I see. You don't feel too bad about what we're doing, right?" He hung his head sorrowfully. Lie, all a lie. Liar. "I can't imagine it'd be easy to have to steal the heart of your close friend."

"I imagine not," you slowly returned. "But we might have different ideas for what it means to steal someone's cognition. I would feel guilty if this could hurt Sae, but it won't."

He let surprise waft over his face. "Can you be so sure?" 

"Are you doubting me?" You lay your head down at your arm, facing him with an inscrutable smile—or so you hoped. You weren't so good at doing that. "You seem to have a lot of bones to pick with me, Akechi. Have I done something wrong?"

"Ah, I don't mean it that way." Quick to smile and backtrack. Playing the doormat in this situation, always trying to get the others to underestimate him. But at the same time, he was much too prideful to play a complete fool, and so here you were. Him poking at you, trying to pop the hornet's nest and escape unscathed. "I admire you, really. For someone your age, you're remarkably well put together. I've worked with many adults, but not many as keen as you are."

He was laying it on thick, but you only took it at face value. "Aw, thank you. I suppose your respect for me warrants all the prying you've been doing?"

"I wouldn't say prying." Smile, smile, always smiling, that one. "But if we're being honest, I do find myself curious about you."

Yes, that was the crux of it all. Akechi Goro didn't know well enough to let sleeping dogs lie, and you were a dog being roused from its slumber. Maybe if he was a few months early you'd have taken this poorly, worried about how much he knew of your past, but at this moment you felt no such panic. "Let's get a move on," Akira suggested quickly before you could reply, pulling Akechi with him out the door. In front of an audience Akechi had no choice but to follow along, shackled by his good-natured guise. Akira shot you a subtle wink as he exited the safe room, and you gave a brief salute back.

"I'm so glad he got Akechi out," Futaba whispered to you. "He just won't give it up! You're not too annoyed, right?"

"I hope you're not. I've got your back if he ever gets too annoying," Makoto assured you from next to Futaba. "You're not too uncomfortable?"

"With his level of questioning?" You shook your head. "He's far too polite to outright ask me anything, so I don't mind. But it's not like I have anything to hide."

Makoto slumped her shoulders. "I guess that's true... But it still peeves me he's been picking on you specifically. Does he think we can't tell?"

"More like he thinks we won't do anything," grumbled Futaba. "Still annoying, though."

You had been planning on saving your little secret for an explosive outburst to maximize the awkwardness you could inflict upon Akechi, but at this rate he'd be poking his nose around it within a few hours. "I'm fine," you assured them. "Really! But let's get going before Akechi starts getting more suspicious."

Otherwise, the palace was truly uneventful. Akechi joining the team was a double-edged sword, and any threat he posed to you was one you posed to him, so neither of you could really come out and say what you meant. You were especially careful, considering how you thwarted his plans quite thoroughly once before. He was no doubt ready to either enact revenge or try to set things the right way. On the right path, but you were just as ready to keep things as their status quo.

You were still in the beginning of Sae's palace. The task of getting fifty-thousand coins from her rigged casino had just been passed along, and you had no doubt that would be a piece of cake. So far, Akechi was completely on your side. You followed along as they corrected the rigged systems. 

Makoto sighed to herself multiple times, eyes roaming over the gaudy brightness of her sister's palace. At some point you had fallen behind with her and she passed her gaze over the walls mournfully. "My sister wasn't always like this," she mumbled in explanation. Towards you or the others you weren't sure, but with how she practically insisted you were her sister-in-law, it was probably meant for you.

"Her life really is filled with too much pressure," you murmured back. "But I don't think any worse of her. If anything, it makes me want to support her more." It seemed your guess over what Makoto was concerned about struck true, because she turned back to you hopefully.

"My sister really lucked out with you as a friend," she happily replied. "With how understanding you are, I don't see how anyone can have a problem with you." Her words stretched out across the room, and just to prove her point, she gave a glance towards Akechi who smiled like he wasn't just vagued.

"I completely agree," he chirped. "I have a lot of respect for you—in fact, I was going to ask if you would be willing to come with me to the other dice rooms. I have an idea for how to win some coins, but I'd appreciate your support." Ah, so he was well aware the others were doing their best to stop you from being singled out. In hindsight, that only made you a more attractive target. Why was the only adult and oldest in the room treated like royalty by the other teenagers? Because they saw her nasty little backstory and witnessed her part ways with the love of her life for the last time, that was why.

Everyone looked towards you, no doubt ready to cook up excuses. But you took a step forward, shedding their protective stances. "Sure thing. I can't let you kids do all the work, right? Let's go." You gestured for Akechi to start moving, and he nodded real polite for someone who was ready to start jabbing verbal daggers at you once you were out of earshot. True to your expectations, he gave you the hallway's walk as a grace period before you entered the first available room. He leaned against the table casually as he threw out a few orders, then smiled at you leisurely.

"Thanks for joining me. I was a little worried you might be, ah...off-put by my questions earlier. I'm really sorry about that."

You waved a hand at him. "You're not really sorry, are you? Don't worry about it. I'd have lots of questions for me too."

"Oh?" Even beneath his mask, you could see his face light up in mirth. "What kind of questions, if I may ask?"

"Hm... Maybe like how I got involved with the Phantom Thieves when I seemingly have no connection to them." You stepped up next to him and ran a finger across the rim of the table, watching the numbers spin and shine in bright neon lights. "I assume that's the big one on your mind. You're very thorough, right? You don't want anything slipping through your fingers."

"How astute of you." But he wasn't mad, his voice still light and carrying the air of praise. You hadn't said anything worthy of him drawing his gun yet. Lucky you. "Yes, if that's okay with you. That's not to say I can't figure it out myself, of course, but I thought I'd speak with you first."

"Yes, yes. You're very smart." You still didn't look up, eyes wandering across the room. Gaudy and bright. You would've loved this place in your second year of high school. It almost looked like a carnival or an amusement park in some way, and back then you sought fun like it was the secret to immortality. "You want to know so there's no gaps in your blackmail, but it's not like the others will tell you. So you're coming to make a deal with me, right?"

He shrugged. "It sounds worse when you put it that way. I'm not forcing you to tell me anything, but..." He won again, and diligently you swept up his winnings into a bag reluctantly provided for you by the dealer before he strolled out the door and you followed. "...why don't we do this? I can share with you what I think. You don't have to tell me if I'm right—think of it as me thinking out loud."

"Sounds good." He entered the next room, and you pushed the cart behind him. Seriously. In high school you'd have a whole club of people rushing to help you out, and here he was letting you take care of all the labor. Typical detective prince trying to look cool. 

"There's quite a sizeable gap between Kaneshiro's confession and Okumura's palace. You, the Phantom Thieves, have kept up a consistent schedule. Can't fall out of the public eye, after all."

"You're a Phantom Thief too," you commented offhand, but he seemed to pay little attention to that.

"But at the same time, after Kaneshiro's confession the issue of Medjed was resolved. Not publicly, but seeing as your identities remain a secret, it's unmistakable that was taken care of. I have no doubt a change of mind was involved, but based on the amount of time you've allotted to these palaces so far, that blank period is too long for a single palace.

"So that begs the question...what exactly occurred in that time? There are two obvious choices, of course. The first one is that you took a break. This can be immediately ruled out—I've not once noticed over two weeks of no activity. So that would leave the second option; you were in another palace. What do you think?"

"Well," you began, momentarily distracted by the flood of coins Akechi had been steadily winning since you stepped into the room, "I have to say, you're not the Detective Prince for nothing. It would be pointless to hide it at this point, so yes. We were in a palace between Medjed and Okumura; my palace, to be specific."

The words came out of your mouth lightly, as if it were no more than a simple fact to deliver. And it was, just one that was packed with memories and emotions. You held down the thoughts that couldn't help but emerge and smiled again. 

"That makes sense." He nodded slowly to himself, before turning to you. Did he really suspect that, or was he putting on a show? "Thank you for confiding in me. You can trust me with this." He sounded oh-so-grateful, but you knew why. He would take every scrap of information, every single piece he could, and fashion it into a weapon for his lofty goals of shooting down Shido on his own. Poor boy. No bonds of friendship to support him yet, unless the budding one he had with Akira counted; but you knew Akira would be at the end of Akechi's gun sooner or later. Akechi was single-minded in his pursuits, and indeed, nothing would slip by that. "But you've been with the Phantom Thieves for longer. Did you still enter the Metaverse with them?"

You nodded casually. "Haven't you seen my naginata? I learned a bit in high school, so I thought it'd be better than nothing." Just to prove your point you pulled it out, giving him a good look at the gleaming blade at the end. "But otherwise, I assume you're asking about my persona. No, I didn't have her until after my palace."

Akechi nodded to himself. "I see. Good to know." He walked out of the room, only to see he had thoroughly devastated every single one during the course of his interrogation. "Oh, would you look at that, we're done already. That's a shame. I was looking forward to speaking more with you."

"Well, I don't think I could've avoided your questions any longer. You're very persistent when it comes to these things." Perhaps pleased with your openness, Akechi stepped back to hold the handle of the cart with you, pushing it together. "Is there anything else you're curious about? I can probably indulge you a little more."

"Hm." His fingers drummed along the handle. But it was a controlled kind of drumming, with a set rhythm and pattern. It was just like him to fake some idle animations, fabricating and deceiving until his true self was safely tucked away. "I suppose the details of your palace would be too personal to share. I wouldn't want to intrude on your privacy."

"And rightfully so." This was not a secret for his ears, at least not yet. "As much as I respect your, ah, drive to learn more, I'd rather keep it to myself. You understand, don't you?" He must've hated you at that moment, keeping your secrets locked up and away from him. But what could he do besides grit his teeth and smile like he didn't mind?

"Of course," he said, with empathy you were surprised he could wring out in his act. "Thank you for agreeing to speak with me. Really. I feel much closer with you now." Yes, giving away intel did have that effect. Not that you minded much, because Mitsuru wouldn't fire you for being a Phantom Thief seeing as she already knew. And if your job was intact and most of your friends knew you were one, even if he revealed your identity nothing much would change.

Sae might. You'd miss her, but surely she wasn't so callous as to cut you off. You were counting on that, because sometime in the future Akira would be telling her all about this, and you didn't want to lose a friend so soon. You walked back with Akechi to where everyone waited—quite cleverly, Akechi took the cart back from you before you were in eyesight, so everyone was under the impression he did the heavy lifting rather than you. 

Even then, you couldn't quite hate him. With your experience behind you, he felt more like a lost child than anything, reaching for something tantalizing in the distance which would come hurtling down onto him. Karmic retribution, something or other. You ascended the palace together with the others, walking with them, side by side. You put the thoughts of Akechi aside, lest they evolve into something more noticeable.

Wild card, doomed to die. Akira was your favorite living wild card, but you always had a soft spot for him. Just like your Minato, he followed in the footsteps of fate. What a wretched thing, twisted by the same dirt road you crawled down. When your investigation of Sae's palace finally concluded in reaching her treasure room, you gracefully followed everyone out to plan your next move together. Before leaving you sent one last glance towards her treasure, beautiful and shining.

What planning your next move really meant, however, was picking a time to meet without Akechi. You hadn't nudged them at all, but now they gathered in LeBlanc, each tossing out their complaints. "Now that we figured him out it's so obvious," Ann commented, stirring her coffee with a spoon. "And the fact that he's always trying to ask you questions too."

"He's just trying to gather information, and I think I might be the hardest for that." You had Mitsuru's backing, after all, and a team of tech specialists that maintained your privacy, especially as someone who once saved the world. Futaba got through some of it, but Akechi? He wasn't a hacking expert. He wasn't even a Detective Prince, when you knew the real one and knew her well enough to understand how genuine she was.

Ann sighed. "I know...but when I've seen how much you've had to go through, it just makes me feel so awful to see someone poking around there. I hope you don't think it's rude of me or anything."

"Actually, I'm kind of touched." You laughed a little to offset your words. "I mean it. I appreciate that you guys do care about me."

"Aww. C'mere!" Ann pulled you into a hug, grin warm enough to melt her cheeks. "Seriously, we all really like you. Well, us, and then there's Akechi."

"I feel like you should be the most upset, Kurusu," Makoto commented. "Aren't you? Your own friend is plotting against you, after all."

He shrugged. "I'm sure he has his reasons," he said. "But I won't go easy on him."

"Good." Makoto crossed her arms for a moment, as if meditating on a thought. And then she sighed, heavy as a mountain. "Truth be told, I never could've imagined things would've become this high-stakes. I'm not going to back down now, but it's a far cry from changing the hearts of a few criminals."

"Well, my father used to say you couldn't get a burger without grinding a few cows." Haru nodded, as if that was the most natural thing to say. "But this way, doesn't it feel like we're some real heroes?"

"It's definitely a lot more dangerous, but I suspect it has to be done." You toyed with a thought for a moment. "You know, the other two groups of persona users before you both had to fight a god to save the world. That feels very heroic to me."

"Don't jinx it. Please." Ryuji's face was glum. "With how everything you talk about becomes true, I'm starting to think we might actually have to fight God."

"Haha." Your laugh was a little dry, which the others caught onto. They wisely didn't pry further, so you didn't have to tell them, hey, by the way, you're actually going to fight Yaldabaoth later on. But with the meeting adjourned, you left to go take care of more adult responsibilities. Time passed, not slowly, but with the kind of speed that sent you hurtling towards the Phantom Thieves' master plan before you knew it. Even without professional acting coaches, you managed to stay normal around Akechi as the final day approached.

You still took time to speak with Sae, text her once in a while to inquire after her health. Technically you were taking the time to brush up on relationship points, but you already had a hunch she probably wouldn't hate you too much. Maybe. Makoto assured you her sister liked you very much, but Makoto could've been holding back punches.

On the day of, the palace was infiltrated; Akechi's plans came to bear fruit; and as you escaped the palace, you held in your heart your hopes for the future. There was always a chance things could go wrong, that Akira made the wrong choices and doomed himself to death; but you wanted to trust in him, trust he could pull through. He was the only wild card on his first iteration, but he had been doing spectacular in spite of having no prior experience.

So you waited. You had waited for much of your life, in situations where the wait felt like it'd kill you. But you survived those, and you survived now, waiting for a message, waiting for the good news to be broken to you. 

It didn't take long. Once the days passed and the message came, you rushed to LeBlanc as fast as you could make it. Their plan had succeeded; Akira was alive, Sae was in the loop. You were late coming into the store, and the countless pairs of eyes turned to you as you pushed the door open, heaving a little for breath.

Sae was the first to step forward. Expression calm and gentle she gave you a small smile and untied your scarf for you, which was good protection against the cold but not very helpful for cooling down after having run all this way. "Thank you," you gasped out, taking one last deep breath before you forced yourself to stand up straight. "I'm sorry, there was a bit of a traffic jam. What did I miss?"

"They were filling in me and Sakura," Sae leisurely explained. "Here, you take a seat too. Sakura, could I bother you to get a drink?"

"On the house for my favorite part-timer," Sojiro commented, turning around to go digging through his coffee beans. While the others talked, you watched Sae from the corner of your eye, wondering if she was upset at the discovery or not. That was more nerve wracking than finding out who the true mastermind was. Sojiro finished brewing quickly and passed over the cup, which you took a grateful sip from. You listened to them get to how Akira survived, the trick with his cognitive self, and the risk he took in order to carry out the plan in the first place.

"I'm glad you're back now," you told him, honestly and truly. "I believed in you, but it's still a relief to see you in person." You turned to Sae with a smile. "With thanks to you too, of course."

"It was mostly Kurusu's hard work, but I appreciate it." Sae nodded, that small smile still on her face. "I'll do my best to be of help to you all." After that, you continued listening to them discuss the future, come to terms with who the true mastermind was, and chimed in once in a while so they knew you were paying attention.

You watched them this time, but not because you felt like an outsider. For the first time in a long time you felt truly comfortable with a large group of people, and some part of you wanted to simply bask in that fact. To see them talking so seriously, cracking a few jokes once in a while as teenagers did, band together as a group against one common enemy. Your memory wandered to SEES, your beautiful high school days that would never return.

But now you had a new group, new responsibility, new friends. Sojiro kept you constantly supplied with coffee, and Sae would always notice when you ran out to alert him to keep brewing. Eventually you got so embarrassed by the treatment you just sipped at your coffee slowly, until evening turned to night and everyone was ready to leave.

You stepped out of LeBlanc with Makoto and Sae. Makoto's eyes darted between you and her, before she smiled. "Actually, I'll wait inside for a bit. I bet you guys want to talk, right?" The both of you nodded, so Makoto walked back indoors and took a seat at the counter.

In the nighttime chill, Sae turned to you, expression gentle. "So," she began. "Sorry for not speaking to you earlier. I didn't have a chance, with how hectic things got."

"No, no, don't worry about it." You eyed her curiously. "I take it you're not mad?"

"About the Phantom Thief thing? No, I understand why you didn't say anything. Makoto took a long time lecturing me about it, actually. I was never mad at you, but it's nice to see she cares a lot about you." There was a former hardness in Sae's face which had softened up a great deal, and looking at her now, she seemed to shine even in the dark. "But now that I'm in the loop, I've come to realize there's so much about you I don't know yet."

"Are you curious?" Your high school life, personas and all. Your role as a Phantom Thief. These were the things she didn't know about you, but those had been the most important in creating who you were today. 

"Of course. We are friends, after all. I never stopped thinking of you as one." Her smile seemed to send your heart hurtling through the heavens, and you quickly pat down your chest as it tumbled around. Sae was always beautiful, but now she was lethal. "I think I said once you were my closest friend. That's still true for me now."

"I'm glad." And you were, you really were. She was someone you didn't want to lose, just like Minato, just like SEES, just like the Phantom Thieves. "And now we can talk about Phantom Thief stuff together! I'm happy I get the chance to work alongside you now, Sae."

She let out a small laugh. "As am I. Here's to our new partnership." She stuck her hand out for a handshake, and without a thought you took it, hand enveloped in hers as she cordially shook your hand up and down in a firm motion. "Dinner on me? I think we have a bit of catching up to do."

"Let's get bullet train sushi," you suggested, and Sae's eyes twinkled a good deal. So you called for Makoto, and together the three of you set down the road together, smiling and laughing along the way.

Chapter Text

Your goodbyes were kind, but sparse. I should go back to school, you told the others, sympathetic smile on your face. It can't be helped. I was skipping to come over out of curiosity. And how lucky you were, to have Yu right behind you nodding and emphasizing how important schooling was, how you were his family friend from Tokyo. Which everyone knew was a lie, but it made Chie and Yosuke snort to themselves at the inside joke as Yukiko smiled in confusion.

For someone so straight-faced, he certainly could cut to the heart of a situation fast. How fearsome. Still, it wasn't much of your problem now; you were fleeing from Inaba after failing to achieve your goal, leaving behind the new team of persona users at your own whims. How cruel, how selfish. But Yosuke, Chie, and Yukiko supported your decision wholeheartedly, and Yu pushed you towards it.

So on a sunny Sunday morning you packed your bags and walked with the others to the train station, the same one from when you arrived at Inaba. In the front walked Yukiko, Chie, and Yosuke arguing about some inane topic. Chie and Yosuke went at it like cats and dogs while Yukiko hesitantly offered a few neutral responses when prodded.

And wheeling your suitcase for you was Yu, whose gaze followed his companions in front. He hardly looked your way, but you didn't feel any less unsettled. He was the image of a perfect gentleman, however, so you kept your head straight and back firm as if you too were unbothered. "Excited to go back?" he asked, just as you were certain you'd leave without another set of words exchanged. 

"You make it sound like I want to go back," you muttered, looking down at your fingernails. 

"You do." His words were so straightforward you swallowed your polite rebuke. "You'd rather not deal with the troublesome things to come, right?"

Slowly you dropped your hand to your side, peering up at him with a sharp glare. "What kind of person do you think I am?" you hotly retorted. "I'm not trying to abandon you or anything. In fact, I think I care a little—" Your words were caught in your throat as Yu smiled, completely unperturbed, and the fight drained out of you in an instant to be replaced with annoyance. "Oh, very funny. Do you get a kick out of getting me riled up?"

"You're much more interesting that way," he said, and you had to remind yourself this wasn't the sweet silent protagonist you imagined he was, but a wolf bundled in sheepskin trying his best to fit in. "But don't worry about it. I can handle anything that comes ahead."

"There's a lot." You stopped, as did he, and the wind whipped past your hair as you felt it squeeze past the fabric of your clothes as the train finally came pulling into the station. "To be honest...my memories aren't so good. But you've got a lot ahead of you. I'm not saying you can't do it, but isn't that a huge burden?"

And in the face of the care you extended towards him, he smiled and ushered you into the train, waving a hand to the three other members of the Investigation Team who were drawn to a vending machine. He rolled your suitcase for you, plucking your ticket from your hand to start looking for your seat. "It's not so bad," he casually replied. 

But it wasn't the same, was it? You were with Minato when he repeated his year; and at the very least, he had someone by his side to ease the load. And here you were, running from Inaba and running from Igor, all while Narukami Yu the psychopath held down the fort on his own. "You're not alone," you told him, and he hummed in mild agreement as his eyes continued scanning seat numbers. "Really! Maybe I'm heading back to Tokyo, but that doesn't mean I can't—"

Just then he quickly lifted your suitcase and pushed it onto the rack above, gently maneuvering you into your seat as he pressed the ticket back in your hands. "Your problem," he said, "is that you try to make everything your problem. Learn to take it easy sometimes."

And he said it so simply, but it was nothing like that. You had all these memories, all this guilt; if you didn't fuel it towards one goal or another, then where would it go? To your mind? You needed something, someone to work on. You needed a life to fix that wasn't yours. And here was Narukami Yu, accomplice to Adachi, giving you life advice. Taking care of you the same way he would with Nanako. "And your problem," you began, "is that you think everyone else is below you."

"Not you. I don't think you're below me." What a heartfelt confession. But it wasn't your wits nor your character that prompted this. He simply saw you as his only family; the only other wild card, or the closest thing to one, remaining. You knew of fate, of the truth, something his companions didn't. And maybe he loved his companions, but they wouldn't feel the same as you did. "I think of you as my equal. I thought of him as my equal."

"And what about your friends? Your family?" You turned away from him and towards the window. Your eyes followed his reflection, which stood steadfast despite your snub. "Aren't they your equals too?"

"Something like that." His voice, which was so vague, grew fainter. "Have a safe trip back. Make sure you call me once you arrive."

"Are you my mom?" you griped, but by then he had already began walking down the aisle, hopping off the train just before it disembarked. You caught his eye through the window as he turned his head back, and deciding to throw him a bone, waved a little. He raised his hand in acknowledgement, and then he became a blur as the train sped away.

Thus ended your first stay in Inaba, riddled with failures and successes. You greeted Mitsuru as soon as you got back and halfheartedly sent a call Yu's way. He picked up after the third ring and held a brief conversation before you excused him for bed. You imagined that would be it, but the calls only became more regular after that.

"We're meeting Kanji today," he said one morning as you were walking between classes. 

"Is that so?" you had replied.

"And today is Rise's turn," were his words a few calls later. 

"Really?" you had replied.

"Naoto's set to join the team," he reported while you were deciding which convenience store bento was the best.

"You know you don't have to report everything to me, right?" you finally decided on saying. "In fact, all you've been doing is reporting to me about the Investigation Team. Don't you have something fun to talk about?"

The line went silent, so silent you thought he hung up. "I'm making pork cutlet for dinner."

"Much better." There was an extended silence again, before you almost hung up this time. "What even...did you manipulate me into wanting to have small talk with you?"

"That was all you, actually." You could almost hear a laugh punctuating his voice, if he could even laugh. Your opinion of him already hit rock bottom, so there was in fact room to go higher. "But do you actually mind the reports?"

And honestly, if you didn't know what kind of person he was, you would've fallen for the pitiful backing to his voice. As it was, you were only swayed a little. "No, no. I actually like them. Sorry if it sounded otherwise." He didn't say anything at first so you selected the pork cutlet bento and took it with you to the cashier. "It makes me feel more connected, if that makes sense. I still feel bad about leaving you guys so soon, so at least I can hear what's going on this way."

"I'll keep you posted, then." You quickly paid for your dinner and accepted your plastic bag, stepping out of the convenience store with a sigh. "Have you eaten dinner yet?"

You took a peek at your bento. "I got something from the convenience store just now."

"...convenience store?"

"Before you get on my case," you began, "I'm a university student and I have exams to study for. Sorry not all of us are having fun in our second year of high school."

"Hm. Is it just me or do you sound bitter?"

"Of course I'm bitter," you muttered. "You're eating pork cutlet and I'm...also eating pork cutlet, but it's cold. From the convenience store."

"I'll make you dinner next time you come over, then." 

"I'm holding you to that," you absentmindedly told him. "Alright. It was good to talk to you, but I have to get back to work. Let me know if something important happens?"

"Will do." And then he hung up first, instead of leaving that dignified right to you. But you only sighed and entered your dorm, shuffling to your desk as you freed up a space for your dinner. It was cold, but not impossible to eat, and before long you returned back to the ordinary life of a student who received a few calls from Inaba once in a while. Sometimes they genuinely were important; sometimes Yu came to poke some fun at you with his free time instead of doing something productive. This pattern would continue, and somewhere along the line you got used to it.

And then he called, months after you left. You picked up relatively soon. "What's up?" you asked, pressing your phone between your shoulder and ear as you gathered your laundry as fast as you could. On his end there was silence, as if he were thinking of the right words to say, putting them together in his mind.

"...we're close to reaching the final boss," he finally said. Your hands stopped their fumbling and you stood up, holding your phone in your hand once more. Even when Nanako had been kidnapped and your nerves were shot through, even when Adachi was up to bat and he had to identify him as the culprit, he had been calm and confident, but now he sounded as hesitant as he should be. 

"I'll come back," you told him without hesitation, using your free hand to quickly gather the rest of your laundry. You bumped your hamper up to your waist and quickly exited the laundromat to drag your clothes back to your dorm. "Give me a day or two and I'll have it sorted out."

"That's fine," he said, but now you could hear how much less tense he was. "And...thank you."

"Of course. Aren't we family?" The words came easy to you, but Yu fell silent after.

"Yeah," he breathed. "I guess we are." So you concluded your call, marched back to your dorm, and thickened your skin to ask Mitsuru for another favor again. With enough explanation on your part she called up your school and sorted everything out for you, and by the next day you were already packing your things and ordering the next available ticket.

You came rushing back to Inaba late at night, on the last train they'd accept. Yu was already waiting for you when you stepped out, and casually took your suitcase for you just as he did when you were leaving Inaba. "Welcome back," he said, that same smile on his lips.

"Glad to be back!" you exclaimed after, heart still racing from the marathon you ran. "Nothing big's happened yet, right? I came as soon as I could."

"You're just in time, don't worry. I still need to introduce you to the others tomorrow, but...rest well tonight." And despite all your misgivings about him, he did remind you of Minato. But only a little, because it would be a disservice to compare the love of your life to Yu. Similar enough that when you slowly began your empty chatter on the road to the inn, he listened quietly and intently to your words. 

As you arrived at the front entrance, you faced him with a thoughtful glance. "This will be my second time coming face to face with a god threatening the end of the world, or something to that effect." Smugness you couldn't conceal spilled forth, and you smiled in a way that didn't hide it. 

Except he didn't seem at all impressed by what was, really, a very impressive track record. "What a coincidence. Me too." 

"You're facing the same god twice. What's so special about that?" Still, a smile made its way onto your face. "You know, you've thanked me already, but I should be thanking you. I don't know how much help I can be fighting a god—but even being a pillar of support is fine." Besides, it would've been worse if Yu told you about the upcoming fight and you said oh okay, good luck and left it like that.

He called you onee-san once. Older sister. You weren't so used to that, being someone to look up to. Being someone who had to take care of others. "I appreciate the thought, at least," he was saying even as your thoughts were elsewhere. He pushed your suitcase towards you, and you quickly stuck out a hand to steady it as it slid across the paved road. "I'll come pick you up tomorrow?"

"Tomorrow," you agreed, and then turned back to the same inn. You checked in quietly, found your room, and set your suitcase off to the side in its lonely corner. With a hand against the window you opened it curiously, hanging your head and arm out to feel the breeze. 

From below, you noticed that Yu hadn't left yet. He was looking up at you, and you raised your head to wave at him. He raised an eyebrow and motioned for you to stick your head back inside, so you rolled your eyes and stuck out your tongue, before you pulled yourself back indoors and shut the window.

It was a moment later, but he turned and left, all alone in the dark. But nothing could hurt him; you'd be more worried for anyone who tried. He wanted you to meet the others, so that was what you needed to do. Say your hellos, and in a matter of weeks, say your goodbyes.

You weren't sure what you expected, but not something so peaceful as what transpired. You all sat around the food court as you swirled a mouthful of cheap instant coffee in your mouth, courtesy of whatever Junes could deign to deliver. "I've heard so much about you!" Rise was exclaiming, smile bright and hands clapped together. 

"Oh, like what?" You turned to her with just as much cheer, coffee forgotten as you leaned in closer, eager to hear what the others thought of you. 

"Well, that you go to the University of Tokyo, that you're senpai's cousin—"

"—family friend," Chie jabbed in between coughs.

"—and that you're very reliable. And you seem like it too!" Her eyes were round with curiosity, and they gleamed as she stared you down with nothing but amiable interest. "Do you have a persona too? What's your persona?" Rise was certainly very pretty and charismatic, but sometimes she had the same uncanny ability as Yu to strike right at the heart of the matter. What was worse about Rise was that she didn't mean to.

"Something like that," you absentmindedly replied, but didn't elaborate. When the shroud of silence slowly creeped in, Naoto cleared her throat. 

"Well, whatever your abilities, it's admirable of you to come by to help. I'm afraid we might need all the help we can get." Naoto's eyes were firm, and they caught yours with the kind of bravery you'd expect from her. A real Detective Prince, and not the imitation that would follow years later. "If our leader can speak so highly of you, I'm sure his words aren't misguided."

"Oh?" You grinned, turning to face Yu. "You've been complimenting me?"

"Nothing untrue." It would be far more interesting if he could at least be bashful sometimes, instead of always looking in control of the situation. Unless he had another secret to confess to you, you'd probably never see him look so distraught ever again. Such was his emotional mask. "Should I be worried about inflating your ego?"

You pressed your lips together in a pout. "You should be more worried you're not inflating it enough," you jokingly replied. And didn't you know it. Everything happened to be rock bottom with you. One moment you'd feel fine, perfectly normal, as if you were any other university student on any other break from school. And other moments you'd be pulled under by an invisible hand, lying at the bottom of the seafloor too exhausted to swim up. 

"Should I compliment you more, then?" He pushed your half-empty coffee cup back towards you, and you realized you were pushing it around while you talked. "Help out your self esteem?"

"Better than trying to catch me off guard all the time," you replied with a sniffle. It was then you noticed then that everyone was silent, so you peered around the table curiously. Kanji was the first to regain his voice in the bundle of high schoolers. "Wow, I think that's the first time in months I've seen you banter, Narukami." He then turned to you with an acknowledging nod. "Anyone who can bring out his playful side is a good person in my books."

"More like his childish side," Chie muttered, before she looked at you with a big grin. "Anyways, he's not wrong! And maybe Yu missed you, but I definitely missed you, because we were friends before you were gone." She seemed to preen at that, proud to have known you before, flaunting her words so happily. 

"Yes, we really were." How could you not like her? She seemed immensely pleased by your acknowledgement. But silence fell once again, and you realized keenly that they were probably much more talkative when you weren't around. It'd be hard immediately adjusting to and trusting someone half of them didn't know, and who the other half was hardly close to. You wouldn't be here to stay, only for as long as you felt duty-bound to. So you took a deep breath and moved onto the more urgent topic. "But as for any fights to come...I can be a backup member," you assured them. "I don't know if I can be on the frontlines instantly, but I can hold my own." 

Yu nodded. "You're a quick thinker. That's more than helpful."

"I'd hope so. I promise I can pull my own weight." How vexing. Even as he vouched for you, something in you seemed to squeeze tight. "So focus on what's ahead." Look to the future, the one I gave up everything for you to hold. Look to the monsters and gods you must come to fight, and look them in the eye. Narukami Yu, make your second life worth it.

"Sure. I trust you." He threw around that word so casually, but how could someone like him trust that easily? But you nodded along, treated his words like he was any other high school boy and not one with something dark behind his eyes. You were starting to do it now, see him as more than the sum of his past errors. He doomed Inaba and his friends once, but he wouldn't a second time. 

You came to help—but really, you were here to keep an eye on him.

So together, you and the Investigation Team set off for Marie's dungeon first. You walked near the back of the group while Yu lead the front, but hanging back was Naoto, who had a watchful eye that flickered over your surroundings and, at times, you. Of course Yu would send his most reliable ally to guard over you. You weren't sure whether this was something to be flattered or insulted by, so you stuck with the former firmly.

Surrounded by the dense fog, you turned your head once in a while at any flickers of darkness lurking within. Your heart jumped every time, expecting to see familiar yellow eyes come to sneer at you for coming back. But your shadow didn't appear throughout your walk, and all you accomplished was being so tense even Naoto awkwardly pointed it out once or twice.

When Marie stepped out from the fog at her grave, cloaked in white, you raised your head to look her way. You never exchanged more than a word with her, but her eyes lingered at yours the longest. She didn't bother hiding her one possessed eye, facing you head on as if the one whose thoughts were being laid bare was you, and not her. "My death," she said, voice cracking just a little, "will save all your lives. Why are you resisting?"

Without thinking you pushed your way to the front, past all the others, past even Yu. "Marie," you said, voice so light you could hardly hear yourself. "This doesn't have to end in death. This doesn't have to end in running from the truth. I know for certain there's a way to save you—and save Inaba."

"How can you be so sure?" She watched you, and then she broke out into a humorless laugh. "No, of course you are. But haven't you learned your lesson? Not everything can end happily. There is always a sacrifice." Her words dripped with meaning, something only you and Yu would understand. And you understood well, too well. You took in a sharp breath, chest stiff and tight, before you released even that.

"This isn't a tragedy," you managed out, bowing your head. "Not for you. This is a story about seeking the truth, no matter how much it may hurt you." 

Marie watched you, and then she laughed a little, bitter and humorless. "Hypocrite," she mouthed, just subtle enough for you and you alone to see. Yes, that was you. Hypocrisy bled into your bleeding heart, but with the Investigation Team behind you, all you could do was swallow that venom and dip your head. Yu gently pulled you back as Marie looked forlornly at the both of you.

"Maybe there's...a way," she conceded. "If I put my mind to sleep before my body is taken over...and if you're able to defeat me...maybe then I don't have to die. A happy ending." She scoffed at the words, but she didn't reject the idea. Her fingers played with the hem of her cape. 

"We'll save you, no matter what." Yu's words seemed to arouse the same confidence in the others, who nodded. Marie too hesitated for a moment, eyes catching yours briefly, before she turned to the others. 

"What a silly idea. But if you have any confidence you'll succeed..." She turned her eyes away, slowly curling into herself. "I invite you to try." Her words grew fainter by the word, and it was then that the fog condensed before her. Yu quickly pushed you to the back as he and his companions took up their stances around Marie. She exploded forth into Kusumi-no-Ogami, a wailing child with no intention of facing the truth, as Yukiko steadied you on your feet. 

"Thank you," she whispered, eyes facing the fight before her. Her expression was tense, but she still tried to comfort you. "I think your words got through to her." 

To say it was you was a silly notion. It was the history she knew of you, the combined fate which linked you, Narukami Yu, and Marie together. Not to each other, but in passing. No denizen of the Velvet Room could be ignorant of your presence, an outsider who forced her way inside this world. And no wild card repeating his year could be ignorant of you, when Minato had been speaking so openly about you. When you spoke to Marie it was her knowledge of your foresight that touched her, not your words.

And yet. And yet, Yukiko would never know this. "It was everyone's support," you firmly insisted. "No one wanted her to die. All of you were with me—that's why Marie had the courage to entrust you with her future."

"But you were able to say something, even if we weren't." Yukiko's eyes turned back to the fight, lips tight, a fist pressed against her chest. "I just hope we can win..."

"You should have more confidence too." It would be impossible to completely shake off any anxiety, but wasn't that fine? You didn't need to believe in your memories; you only needed to believe in Yu. Have faith that he could succeed, just as Minato did before him.

It wasn't a long wait. He prevailed, just as any wild card ought to, and when the fog cleared once more Marie was back. The others ran to her side, waiting to see if they succeeded, so you hung back and let them fawn over her. Fate could rear its ugly head today and you wouldn't mind. Marie was originally meant to be saved, so saved she would be.

Sure enough, she jerked away and shoved away Teddie, arms clutched tightly around Yu as she came to the realization that she had been saved. The Hollow Forest began crumbling soon after, but even as the rubble started coming down she looked to you. "Hurry up!" she called, and you realized she was pulling you along to the exit.

With a narrow escape achieved as you stumbled out of the TV, the others could finally settle down as they realized Marie was alive, wholly alive, and their success had bore fruit. Marie released your arm and inched closer to Yu. Not that you minded. You let her be, eyes drooping closed as the events of before slowly settled around in your heart like a film of silt in a river. 

You didn't realize everyone had already left until Marie walked in front of you and you opened your eyes to a room empty of the others. "I'm...sorry too," she said, and you blinked at her in surprise. "For, uh, what I said. About how there's always a sacrifice. I know it wasn't really fair of me." She rubbed her neck awkwardly.

"Oh, it's fine. You weren't wrong." There was no changing what happened in the past. There was no pretending it didn't happen.

She made a little noise in her throat. "Well, I probably could've—I mean, I should've—it was my bad, okay? Just accept the apology!"

Seeing her so flustered, you couldn't help but laugh a little. "Okay, okay. I got it. Thank you. I forgive you."

"Good. Good." She repeated that a couple times to herself, before she turned to look at Yu. "I'm gonna head out with the others. Don't take too long." Before you could ask why, what was Yu going to do, Marie already left and now you were all alone with the wild card.

He slowly pat a hand on your shoulder. "Good work," he said. "And...it's okay if you need some time."

"Time? For what?" You peered at him in confusion. "If you mean what Marie said, it's fine, it's really—" There it was again, that squeeze, that unsettling feeling of something thick coming over your chest. "—it's really nothing. I've made my peace. I know that he's dead—and I know I need to face the truth—I know, okay? I know." But the words only seemed to sound more forced as you continued on. There was that sharp digging in your chest again, the same feeling that had stuck around persistently the whole day.

"You don't look fine to me," he said. "Marie was being mean. And it's okay if you're hurt by that."

You tried to shove his hand off, but your arms were too leaden to move so you froze in place. "I'm not hurt," you insisted, voice wavering. "And what are you, my therapist? You think you can read my mind? See through me? I guess maybe you can. I've got nothing in me at all. I'm hollow. Empty. Maybe if I had something inside me I'd be sad, but I'm not, because I always feel so—" You clammed up again, and this time you grabbed his hand and pulled it off your shoulder stiffly. 

When Minato died, it was like he had scooped out your heart to take with him. There was a giant gaping hollow where your heart once beat, never to return again. But now it was like someone had put it back in but didn't put it in right. The fog from the Hollow Forest had been stifling. Marie's words cut right to the bone. And when Marie had transformed into something else, the words she spit about wanting a peaceful lie and not a harsh, biting truth seemed to carve the words right out of your brain.

You ran from Inaba because Igor told you Minato wasn't yours to see, not yet. And maybe never, because how could you move on from him? He had been everything to you, and then you had pushed him down the same road to his doom. You took in a shallow, shaking breath, but by then your eyes were already burning, and you pressed your fingers against your eyelids to no avail.

Narukami Yu pat your back as the tears fell, one by one.

Chapter Text

"Have you ever been on a cruise before?" You turned away from the window and towards Akira instead, who had a very sincere look on his face. Nothing you could be mean to. 

"Once or twice," you admitted, smiling to yourself as you ran your finger across the menu. "Mitsuru insisted on bringing everyone along. We had to convince her not to buy all of us VIP rooms." The memory came trickling back to you bit by bit. It was one of those rare occasions where everyone was able to squeeze out some time, and Mitsuru wasted no time shoving everyone onto the cruise before any of you could protest.

In the end you managed to talk her into sticking with just two of those fancy rooms, one for the girls and one for the boys. Fuuka was perfectly fine with sharing one bed with you, Mitsuru and Yukari the other, and Aigis insisted on sitting down on the sofa to watch a movie all night. And from what you heard Junpei and Akihiko shared one, and Ken and Koromaru the other.

Shinjiro had adamantly refused to come, so you brought him a bag of souvenirs instead. He complained it was a waste of money the whole time, but took it from you so gently you had no doubt he'd be keeping your little gifts somewhere safe. "It seems like it was fun," Akira added, and you realized you had been smiling while staring off into space the whole time.

"I wish we could go on one too," you confided, taking a quick look around. "Instead of this palace. It gives a bad taste in my mouth."

"Then I guess we should get those letters of introduction soon." Akira straightened up his posture, and you reminded yourself why you were here in the first place. Although you had broken into Shido's palace with everyone else, it still remained that you needed to collect five of these letters before you could even get close to the villain himself.

Still, this was the final palace. A small part of you was eager to see the whole thing come to a close so that these teenagers could continue on with the life they were meant to live. The bigger part of you felt nothing but trepidation. Since your arrival into this world, you always had a future in mind. Nyx, Izanami, Yaldabaoth. But after that you had to come face to face with the same adulthood everyone else had been facing long before you.

How could they do it? You could at least lose yourself in another story, but everyone else grew up and moved on, and you were still mired in the past, slowing dragging your feet out of the water. 

What a sad thought. You brushed it aside in favor of your current situation. "Maybe we can still order—"

"Excuse me." A masked man strode up to your table, voice as haughty as his posturing. "Are you that boy's chaperone? I'm afraid I'll have to ask you to vacate your seat now. I wish to dine in peace, but your voices happen to be nothing but grating to the ears."

You got to your feet just as Akira did, offering him a polite bow. "I apologize," you began in your best adult voice. "But in truth, I was hoping to meet you, Mr. Ooe. I'm a very staunch supporter of Mr. Shido, and I was hoping to get a letter of introduction so I may give him my thanks in person. I also hope my brother here can learn from his great example."

"Hm. What a bold request. I don't give out handouts, you know."

You nodded your head. "Someone like you is always busy, I'm sure. But is there still no way for me to express my thanks to Mr. Shido? My gratitude to him and his courageous steering of his country is beyond words." You laid it on thick, but it just so happened the moment you did he began launching into a speech on mental shutdowns and how he had them induced for his own nefarious purposes.

You listened to one more line about his villainous deeds before you began to grow impatient. "Okay, I'll just cut you off here," you said, raising your hand. "Let's just get that letter of introduction forcefully." You jerked your head, and at your cue the rest of the Phantom Thieves spilled into the field, brandishing their weapons as you pulled out your evoker.

While the fight was certainly harder than a normal cognition would warrant, you still didn't feel too tired afterwards. All you felt was the same old anxiety for the future. No, you were different now. You had people who cared for you, who would walk with you towards whatever was ahead.

"You should take a break for the next few fights," Akira said, passing you an energy drink. "And good work."

"Thanks." You accepted the drink gratefully and hung around with the others as they discussed the next course of action. There were four more letters of introduction to obtain, and then you'd be upon the second biggest concern you had after fighting a literal false god; fighting a teenager with daddy issues.

And arguably, the second could be worse. A lot worse. But for now, immediate things first. 

The second letter of recommendation, a nobleman with a thing for ogling women, was much too vile to be passing off to the girls. You recalled originally they were pushed into wearing swimsuits by Ryuji, and just as he was about to run off to rent swimsuits, you grabbed his sleeve.

"Just get one for me," you told him. "I'll think of something, so don't let some second years get anywhere near that sleazebag, okay?"

"Huh? But wouldn't it be..."

"I'll be fine," you told him, waving him off. "Pick out the most risque one, it'll probably be more effective." Ann and Makoto immediately launched into protests at your valiant sacrifice, but by then you already ushered Ryuji out, who proceeded to run back in and pass you the most bland looking bikini you had ever seen.

"I couldn't do it!" he exclaimed, dipping his head in shame. "You're like a big sister to me, so I had to pick the most normal one." 

You took it from him and gave it a good squint. "Well, whatever. Thank you, Ryuji. I think of you as a little brother."

You then made everyone scram before you got changed. When you checked in the mirror one more time, it wasn't too bad of a swimsuit. For a honeypot, probably a little on the plain side. But that was fine; you were hoping to go the yamato nadeshiko route anyways.

You strolled back to where the former nobleman was lounging by the pool and immediately straightened up your posture and tried to imitate Fuuka's elegant bearings. "Excuse me," you began, stopping before the man as the rest of the Phantom Thieves stood just a few feet away, watching you closely with big round eyes. "Would you have the means to provide me with a letter of introduction to Shido?"

The nobleman slowly moved his eyes towards you. "And what manner of thing are you?"

You offered a deep bow, keeping your hands clasped at your hip. "Although my name may be too humble for you to recognize, I come from the Kirijo family."

Slowly, you could see his posture change. "You said the Kirijo?" 

You nodded. "Yes. I'm particularly close with the current head of the group, Kirijo Mitsuru. Shall I put in a word for you? We're currently in trade negotiations with...a prominent noble family of England. I'm certain I'll be able to assist you in any endeavor you may have." Just to be safe you offered another smile and even a little curtsy to prove your mettle.

"The Kirijo..." The man quickly got to his feet. "Certainly, I'm aware of that family. And you said you'd put in a word for me?"

"Many words," you assured him, fielding every lecherous gaze with your resolute figure. You didn't have many memories of adults that did their job, and surely the teenagers behind you had even less. They were a band of children, hurt in many ways by the adults of their society. So if there was anything you could undertake, as an adult, as someone who had already gone through her journey, you would willingly accept it. "This is an exchange, after all. The Kirijo don't give charity."

"Yes, yes, of course." The man stumbled to his feet. "You wanted a letter of introduction, was it? I can provide one right now, while we're here." From nowhere he produced a thin sheaf of paper, which you gracefully accepted from him and passed backwards for Akira to take from your hands. 

"Of course, I appreciate it." You bowed once more. "I'll be in contact, but for now I'll have to attend to my own business."

"So soon? Surely you can't spare a little time for conversation? As business partners of similar social standing, shouldn't we get to know each other a little more?" Well, it wasn't like you were a decrepit old woman, but it was still a surprise seeing Shido's cognition of some random high-ranking sleazebag reach out to grab your arm. You hardly even reacted before Akira pulled you backwards and the rest of the Phantom Thieves jumped in front of you. 

"How dare you?" Makoto shouted, which was a complete overreaction to getting grabbed by a shadow. You stared in half-disbelief as everyone else, without even needing to exchange a word, immediately started the fight with the shadow. You weren't so in need of defending, were you? It didn't feel like it at all. 

You turned to Futaba, hovering above it all as she monitored the proceedings with a steady eye. "I'm not that much of a damsel, am I?" you called, and she peered down at you before she vehemently shook her head. 

"No, no, it's not what you're thinking of. It's like if someone at your school says something really rude about your mom, kinda." Your brows furrowed as you turned back to the crowd of persona users taking turns smacking up the shadow. From older sister to mother. You weren't sure if it was flattering or insulting, or if you even wanted to pursue that train of thought any further. Are you proud of me now, Yu? you dryly thought. I went from your big sister to their missing mother figure.

Maybe it was best to let sleeping dogs lie, or in this case, active teenagers fight. You decided to go back and change out of your swimsuit while they were preoccupied, and sure enough, when you came down they had the sense to pretend they hadn't gone homicidal in front of you. "These guys really are scum, aren't they?" Ryuji commented quickly, scratching the back of his head furiously. "Seriously! We're just, uh, taking care of justice by getting rid of them."

Yusuke shook his head slowly and vigorously, hair knocking back and forth with him. "Truly vulgar. I can't fathom how they must be in person."

"Shouldn't we focus on the next letter of recommendation?" you hesitantly suggested, and everyone turned to you in what almost appeared to be wonder. "Right?"

"Also that," Makoto agreed. For a moment she hesitated, but then she reached out and awkwardly slid her arm into yours, linking arms loosely. "I, um, used to walk like this with my sister, so..."

Your smile was bright enough to melt anything under its beam. In your heydays it had become a lethal weapon of destruction upon your classmates, but now it was just good enough to dazzle a little. "Okay, let's go!" Makoto never did relax her stiff back, but the fact that she put so much care into your relationship made you more than happy.

The next letter Haru bravely volunteered to procure once you were in the large casino together. You watched carefully with the others as she approached the right man and used her family name to her advantage. She was quick to obtain the letter, which she held firmly in her hand. Not a scant moment later she had crumpled it in her anger once the subject of the conversation turned to her father, detestable in his actions but still her kin nonetheless.

"My father almost died because of Shido's plot," she hissed, eyebrows furrowed deep enough to cleave a divide between her brows. "And you want to talk about how much money you made from the views? You should be ashamed of your greed!" She didn't back down, not even when the cognitive figures in front of her burst into shadows.

The Phantom Thieves sprang into place as Haru backed up a little, passing the letter towards Akira. He placed it inside his jacket in one smooth fashion, and you had to wonder how he could keep everything folded in there. The fight itself was insignificant; the conversation afterwards connecting Shido's villainy with the evils of the other targets of the Phantom Thieves was enlightening for the others, but you struggled to put on an act of sudden insight. You were already well aware of the spiderweb connecting the other palaces to Shido. You played it, once upon a time, and now you lived it.

In similar fashion, Futaba approached the next target. You hovered at the doorway, watching her negotiate with the cognition and ultimately turn against him just as soon. "You're the reason I want to reform society," she spat out, before she jerked her head over the rest of her companions. "Hey, sic 'em!"

"What are we, dogs?" Ryuji said with a sigh, looking glum for a moment before he shifted into a more battle-ready stance. You took up your position too, that same pleasant thrum of power at your fingertips, waiting for your call to awaken. Things felt like they were progressing too easily, at times. You expected everything. You watched things happen down the letter, even with your interference. 

The last targets were the yakuza cleaners. The final letter of recommendation, before the pieces slotted into place. You knew what was to happen after. Akechi Goro, burdened with nothing but issues upon issues upon daddy issues, would take center spotlight and exit stage left. It would be a cruel, thankless existence.

How could you let that happen to him? You took a peek at Akira as he fought his hardest against the yakuza. And how could you let that happen to his beloved? Doomed, you and him, to be in love with those meant to die. Those whose deaths held meaning, or meaning enough. This was not the kind of kinship you and Yu had, something more shallow and yet more deep.

"Fate, nee-san," you could almost hear him say. "You and I are bound by it. It's only us now."

No, you thought. Fortune comes in threes, and all I've done is taken Minato's in his absence. Your thoughts trailed off wistfully as the final letter of recommendation passed through Yusuke's hands to Akira's after their battle, and a moment of peace washed over you fully. Like a current at the beach, you let it sweep away every prickle of worry that jabbed itself into your heart.

In truth, you had been thinking about this moment for a long time. A very long time. So when the Phantom Thieves began to leave only to be met with Akechi leaping down from the banisters, outfit stark white in contrast to the tarnished metals around him, you only watched in silence.

You left behind you a trail of lives you were too selfish to let die naturally. Shinjiro, Chidori, Saki... The weight of living you carried with you was light. But among those fated to die, the heaviest one yet was Akechi. In the height of his redemption stuck without further reason to grow, mired in his inferiority, was someone you had always planned on dragging back into the light of day.

You have so much to apologize for, Akechi, you thought to yourself. And you have so many people to thank. Pity the ones left behind, not the ones that go early. You will be the last person denied by fate I pull from the path before the carriage rolls over your head.

You were backup for the fight. The people around you scrambled to dodge hits and struggled to land them, and you hovered behind them all, eyes watching placidly. Your memories didn't extend too far past this moment. They'd defeat Shido, purge the evil false god from his stolen throne, and then their second year of high school would end. You were approaching the end of the story, the end of the fate you knew. 

And sooner or later, you would have to grow up. Get old. Be content in aging alone, rather than beside Minato. But you had already been doing that, hadn't you? Akechi fell to his knees, defeated a second time by your companions, and you listened to them offer up their sweet words of encouragement to a dead man, all while you hung back and waited.

Wouldn't be long until then. You had a thought as your companions clamored to bring Akechi back to his senses and have him return to their side. Sacrifice. That was the love you had received. You lived because of one person's sacrifice, as did the people around you. His life for yours. His life for the world's. 

The world demanded a sacrifice. Fate demanded a martyr. Wasn't that how it always worked? An exchange had to be equivalent. One thing would yield another, and then the cycle would continue. You weren't making much sense, were you? The thoughts cycled in your mind, repeating and repeating.

Cognitive Akechi emerged from the shadows. Real Akechi got to his feet. "Why don't one of you replace him here?" crooned his shadow, in the unpleasant drawl of a selfish imagination. 

You pushed past the others in that moment, footsteps echoing in the chamber as you crossed the line between your side and his. "What are you doing?" hissed Akechi, but your mind was running hundreds of miles per second and your heart thrummed and beat incessantly, until your ears seemed to hear a rush of blood. 

"I'm saving you, what do you think?" you replied. All things must be exchanged. A life for a life, isn't that right? The Phantom Thieves were near ready to come drag you out, and ah, you thought, I must be in heaven already, having people care so much about me. "Listen to me, Akechi. You are unique. You are deserving of love. And I'm sorry that it took until now for someone to tell you. The adults in your life are the ones who should be telling you this, and I'm sorry that they haven't."

"Get out of here," he hissed again, grabbing your shoulder roughly. "Do you have any idea what you're doing? I don't need your charity!"

"This isn't anything close to charity," you calmly said, turning from him to the Phantom Thieves. You shot them a smile, just as the first of your bullets flew. Before they could react the barrier raised, trapping you with Akechi with the cognitions. "It's my own selfishness," you finished. 

"Have you spoken enough?" said Akechi's cognition. "I didn't imagine you'd have someone so eager to seek death alongside you. No matter. I'll just eliminate the both of you."

Without speaking you fired the first shot. At the sound of your trigger the cognition pulled just as fast. The recoil pushed you backwards, but your aim landed true and his only dug into your side. You tumbled to the floor, but pulled yourself up and raised the evoker to your head, blood spilling from between your fingers as you expended the last of your energy to call forth Chang'e.

"Are you still there? Please answer me!" Ann's voice was muffled, but you heard it well enough. "There's no way she's—isn't there something we can do?" Panic infused her voice, and for a moment you could feel a twinge of regret, but that faded as you turned back to the shadows surrounding you. 

"Focus on getting out of here," you told Akechi. "I'll buy you enough time. The others will help you."

"I could've handled—" Chang'e cut through one of the shadows as the others surrounded you, and only you. 

"Please," you gasped out. The last time you had been shot here help had arrived soon after, and Minato had been there to cradle you in his arms. But he wasn't here now, and he wouldn't ever be back to rescue you. For a moment you worried Akechi would be selfless, but then his footsteps retreated and you felt clear relief flow through your veins.

Sacrifice. The thought only passed briefly, but consumed your thoughts until all that was left to do was take the bullet in place of Akechi. You spent a little more energy mustering up the strength to have Chang'e slam down her almighty judgement upon the shadows. But you weren't in top shape, and slowly but surely the blood draining from your stomach was weakening you.

White seemed to dance across your vision, and your feet seemed to glide across the floor in light steps. You felt lighter than you had ever been, and in one moment you almost felt like flying before a shadow finally landed a hit, and down you fell, until the floor greeted your cheek.

What a silly idea. You eliminated one more shadow with Chang'e, but there were still more reaching for you. What a foolish notion, this sacrifice of yours. Perhaps you could've saved everyone, yourself included, if you told them beforehand. If you explained to them what was to happen. But why would you? There was that thought, that niggling, impenetrable thought, that this was how you could understand Minato.

Was it this scary for you too? you thought to yourself. Yu said you were scared. But you always seemed so brave. I'm sorry I couldn't live long. I wanted to, so that when I saw you again I'd have a lifetime of stories to tell you. But I'll only have this one for you, now. I never got to see you again. I wonder if Igor saw this happening.

What would you have done, Minato? Would you have given your life for him? He reminds me of you. Not in personality, not in looks, but how could I watch another boy doomed by fate die? But isn't he so pitiful? You were loved, in the end, and he couldn't even get that. But I, I've been receiving so much love from others I feel I could die. I've received enough love for the rest of my life. I want him to have some now.

One more shadow eliminated. Just one left, and then you'd have the luxury of dying peacefully. They wouldn't find you in time. And it wouldn't be worth dragging your body through the palace just to keep you alive. You thought of SEES, and how they'd have to attend one more funeral. You thought of the Investigation Team, who would shed tears at your loss. You thought of the Phantom Thieves and the monumental tasks they had left. But they could achieve them just fine, and you would cheer them on from the afterlife.

Chang'e tore into the final shadow. Sacrifice. Martyrdom. Am I closer to you now, Minato? you thought with a quiet laugh. I know I don't need to mourn for you anymore. But I wanted to know how you felt, then, and I think I feel it now. I'm not scared. I'm happy. 

The darkness was blinding, and for a moment you let yourself drift off into its unknowns. Just as the blood pooling beneath you couldn't be returned to your veins, so too was your consciousness which was rapidly drifting off. But as you drifted and dozed, the sound of footsteps quickly marched around you.

Someone's arms wrapped around you, pulling you up. Another's fingers pressed to your neck. "There's still a pulse!" Makoto exclaimed. "Quickly, we need to leave—"

"Exit's this way," Akechi was quick to bark. "We can't go to the hospital, but—"

"I know someone," rumbled Akira's voice and you came to the hazy realization he was the one carting you around right now. What a waste of a sacrifice, you grumbled in your mind. Yet another hand reached out to push a pill into your mouth, one that melted and eased the pain. Another cupped hands around your wound, pressing down when your hands were too weak. 

Ah, but you were in good hands. Could your failed sacrifice be forgiven, then? You drifted off again, but this time into a shallow sleep that would soon awaken. And from his place from far, far beyond, Minato would have to wait once more for your arrival.

You found, to your dim, hazy surprise, that you didn't feel guilty about it. Just a little longer, Minato, you thought to yourself, and one day, I'll come to see you when I'm ready.

Chapter Text

When you faded back into consciousness, a cold towel had already been draped across your forehead. You blinked your eyes open to see your ceiling, and then pushed your head to the side to see Aigis sitting beside you, hands folded on her lap. "You're awake," she began, seeing you look at her. "I must go inform the others. Is there anything I can do for you right now?"

You opened your mouth to speak, but the hoarseness of your voice entailed a few false starts before you got a rasp to begin. "Water, please," you whispered to her, and she nodded, silently helping you up before she held up a glass of water to your lips. You gratefully took a sip, and with remarkable care, Aigis quickly set you back down and placed the glass of water back onto the bedside table.

You watched as she took your temperature with her palm, then a thermometer to double check. "Is 38.8 degrees Celsius a normal temperature?" she asked curiously, looking at her thermometer. You tried to shake your head but you could hardly move yourself. "I should go ask the others," she told herself, before she got up and left the room. 

You stared after the door swinging open. Within moments someone had already come to your room and fearlessly pushed the door open—Yukari and Junpei walked into your room in that exact order. "How did you even catch a fever?" Junpei complained. "It's not even that cold yet!"

Yukari jabbed him in the side with her elbow. "What he means is that he hopes you feel better," she grumbled. "But really, what a high temperature..." She took a seat by your bed as Junpei jeered at you from the side, procuring a single pill from a newly opened box. "Junpei, can you help me a little?"

"Right, right." He took to your side and propped you up with some pillows. "That's okay, right?"

You managed a nod. "You guys shouldn't be here," you mumbled, eyes drooping as Yukari grabbed the glass of water. "What if you catch my fever?"

"You think a little fever can stop me?" Junpei raised a thumb to point towards himself. "Besides, what kind of friend would I be if I ignored you?

"So you can have compassion, Junpei," commented Yukari. "Here, take this. It should help a little." She pressed a pill into one hand and helped guide the glass of water into the other, watching carefully as you obediently took your medication.

Once you finished swallowing you set the glass back down onto the table and sank back into bed, trying to ignore the painful flush of your cheeks and the sweat that beaded at your skin. "Hopefully that should be enough..." came Yukari's hushed voice as she began to walk away from you, but not before pulling up your covers a little more. "Do you think a hospital visit might be necessary?"

"Hey, who hasn't had a fever before? I'm sure it'll be fine." You listened to their voices trail off into the distance, the door gently shutting behind them. Their footsteps echoed in the hallway, and you sniffled a little. How embarrassing for them to have to take care of you in sickness and in health. 

Why, oh why, did you have to get stuck with such a high fever? On some level, you at least had the energy to be embarrassed, but on the other you were near about to pass out from lightheadedness. It was the clash of two forces within you, one that wanted to jump to your feet and apologize to Yukari and Junpei for having to manhandle you into taking some medicine, and one that wanted to go right to sleep so you wouldn't have to deal with your stuffy nose and burning cheeks.

You followed your bodily instincts and went right to sleep instead, only to drift into a hazy semi-conscious state that could hardly be called sleep. In some moments you felt fully lucid, and in others you could barely hear the people that stopped by your room. For a moment you could feel someone's warm hand brushing away your hair and replacing the cold strip of cloth across your forehead, and then you'd sink back into the expanse of darkness you called unconsciousness.

The next time you awoke was to relative lucidity. "Feeling better?" came a calm voice from your bedside, and you slowly turned your head to see Minato setting down the book in his hands to look at you. Immediately you flushed in surprise—though it was probably hard to tell if that was you flushing or the fever rearing its head again. He reached a wrist out to your forehead slowly, and you only wriggled around a little under his gaze. 

"How long have I been asleep?" you rasped out.

Nonchalantly, he said, "Just since yesterday evening. Around nine hours?"

Something cold ran down your back, and it wasn't just sweat. "And how long have you been here?" you cautiously asked, recalling how your forehead had been pleasantly cool for much of the night. 

"Since you fell asleep. Nine hours?"

It was your turn to slowly crawl into a sitting position and attempt to give him a deep, respectful bow in sincere apology. Only he grabbed you before you could even sit up and slowly pushed you back down. You gave him a sad, almost resentful look buried in your blankets, and in exchange he gave you one of his small almost-smiles. Totally worth it. "I'm sorry," you mumbled anyways, feeling very much like a burden. "I think I'm okay now. You should go do other things."

"You're the most important thing right now, though," he murmured, and another kind of fever started steaming at your cheeks. "You feel better?"

You nodded vigorously, even though your head felt stuffy and was annoying to move. "But won't you catch my cold?" It was very, very nice of him to keep vigil over your body, but you would probably never forgive yourself if you passed on some pathogens to him. In fact, what if this wasn't any fever, but a fever from your world that no one in this world had immunity to? And then everyone in the building would contract your awful other-dimension sickness and it would completely wipe out humanity as you knew it.

"I don't really get sick," was his lukewarm response instead. 

You burrowed deeper into your blankets, glaring at him. Not seriously, of course. You didn't think you could ever be hostile in any way towards him. "Of course you don't." And of course he didn't. You would never tell him, but sometimes he didn't feel real to you. 

"Are you hungry?" he asked instead, rising from his seat to gently remove the towel still sitting on your forehead. He set it aside on the basin of water sitting on your nightstand, carefully brushing away the stray strands of hair clinging to your temples. "You've missed dinner and breakfast."

You slowly crawled back up, poking the rest of your head out of the covers. "A little," you admitted, which was a severe understatement. Now that the matter had been brought up, you were slowly growing hungrier by the second. Forget horses; even whales weren't safe from you currently. 

"Give me a moment," he said, and then walked out of the room without another word. You stared after him before you sank back down and stared up at the ceiling instead. Were you thinking too much about it? But wasn't it so embarrassing, having to be nursed back to health by your friends? You squeezed your eyes shut and tried to think about other things, like how warm Minato's hands were, how nice his smile was, how—

The door slammed open once again and you nearly fell out of bed in surprise. Shinjiro walked into the room first carrying a tray in his arms and Minato strolled in behind him. With delicacy no one else would've expected from such a gruff person, Shinjiro set the tray down on your lap and gestured at the bowl of rice porridge. "Eat," he said, curt as always. You smiled up at him in appreciation anyways. 

"Did you make this?" you asked, partly out of curtesy. He scoffed.

"Who else would?" he grumbled. "And don't waste your energy chatting. I'll give you something when you're done eating." Your eyes lit up as Shinjiro watched you for a moment before he left the room in a hurry, leaving Minato to come sit back down on the same seat as you began eating.

He watched you eat silently, which almost was unnerving, but at this point you were very used to it. So you diligently finished your meal and Minato picked up your empty dishes for you, walking out the door before you could even thank him. The same embarrassment came over you again, and you wanted to smack your forehead on the wall a couple of times. You were definitely well enough to take your own dirty dishes down, to grab your own water, to even cook your own meals. Having other people suddenly take care of your every whim felt like you were taking advantage of their kindness.

Shinjiro came stomping back up before you were done wallowing in your shame. "For your throat," he said, passing over a warm mug of honeyed water. "And your reward." You held your free hand out expectantly, only for him to drop a little hard candy. 

"Thank you!" You set your mug down and popped the candy in your mouth first, watching Shinjiro do something almost like a nod of approval before he stopped himself. 

"Don't expect more," he was quick to say as you swirled the candy around in your mouth, "and brush your teeth good later. Especially after drinking that." He nudged his chin towards the mug, and you laughed a little good-naturedly. 

"You're really like a mom, aren't you? Alright, I will. And I really appreciate it." Shinjiro huffed a little, turning his head away from you. 

You blinked at him curiously before he began his speech. "The others wouldn't stop bugging me about it," he was quick to inform you. "And besides, it's not good to be sick on an empty stomach. Go back to sleep or something." 

"I'll try!" you called after him as he left the room, and once again you were alone with your thoughts. You took a sip from your honey-daikon tea and sighed deeply, praying to anything willing to listen to get better soon. Even Igor—that was how deep your desperation ran. 

Your prayers were not answered, only exacerbated by the appearance of Fuuka at the door. "Are you—are you feeling okay?" she asked, poking her head in through the crack Shinjiro left. Seeing you were awake she slowly stepped in, taking a dainty seat beside your bed. "You're looking a lot better."

"I feel better," you assured her. "Just a little dizzy."

"Hopefully it goes away soon." Fuuka fiddled with her hands a little, before she cleared her throat and puffed out her chest. "Anyways, I was wondering if...I could maybe help with anything?"

Hm? You blinked at her for a moment. Seeing your confusion, she leapt to explain herself. "Well, it's just—you're my friend, and everyone else has already been in and out taking care of you—I just wanted to be helpful. Because I care about you," she finished. "But if you're tired and need some rest, I can—"

What a strange thing to ask. Was there such thing as feeling left out in taking care of a sick person? "Well, maybe you can chat with me?" you offered, trying to push back the uncomfortable twisting of your stomach in asking for a favor. "I'm not sleepy, just bored. If you're not scared of getting sick from me, that is."

She shook her head eagerly. "No, no, I'm not. What should we talk about?"

Put on the spot once again, you dove deep in your mental book of fun hobbies to chat about. "Is there anything you want to learn to cook nowadays?" you casually began, only to see Fuuka's eyes shine and shimmer in the cutest way. 

"Oh, yes! I saw Aragaki-senpai cooking for you earlier, and I was thinking it'd be nice to learn that too. Rice porridge and honey daikon, that is."

"Well," you began, and let the spirit of the conversation settle over you, "the good news is that both aren't that hard." At least an hour had gone by after that; you turned from how to cook rice porridge to other comfort foods, to discomfort foods, and then, much to your surprise, the latest gossip going around the school. 

By the time Fuuka thought to leave you were well tired out and plenty more knowledgeable in the rumor mill, of all things. According to Fuuka she heard these things from Natsuki, and while she wasn't personally interested in gossip, she didn't find it reprehensible. And she knew you liked gossip, which, to tell the truth, you liked very much.

Only minutes after Fuuka's absence, though, Mitsuru came in. "I just wanted to check in on you," she explained, crossing the length of the room to take a seat beside you. "How are you feeling? I heard your fever's improved by a lot since yesterday evening."

"I got a lot of rest and good food, so I think I'm feeling pretty good!" Mitsuru seemed pleased by that, nodding to herself with a smile hanging on her face. "But aren't you worried about catching anything from me?"

She waved her hand in attempt to brush aside your worries. "That seems unlikely. The weather's been warm recently, so I doubt my immune system is that vulnerable." Yes, yes, you got her point. Yours was just a little too weak, wasn't it? "...not that there's anything wrong with yours, of course. I'm sure it was just an unlucky fluke."

You, who had already gotten the hint, had no choice but to silently nod along. "Sorry," you told her quietly. "For getting sick at a bad time. And now everyone has to stay in the same building as me. And look after me."

Mitsuru, instead of agreeing with your shortcomings and burden, only shook her head. "Nonsense. You didn't choose to be sick, did you? You just focus on getting better soon. Everyone's worried about you, though you probably can tell already." And you could, you really could, but it wasn't any kind of motivation to you. But how could you explain that to Mitsuru? So you nodded, and nodded, and nodded until you felt a new bout of dizziness come on.

After Mitsuru was Akihiko, and after Akihiko was Ken, and then even Koromaru came barking at your door. You immediately resolved yourself to recovering when Aigis dropped by again to inform you Koromaru was now feeling guilty because you caught a cold coincidentally after taking him on a walk, which was not at all his fault, but if Koromaru was beating himself up with his little doggy paws then it was.

You recovered by Monday and went to school bundled up in a scarf after all of SEES hoisted it onto you, along with a water bottle full of chamomile tea. Your uniform was thoroughly buttoned and double checked by everyone. Three different people stuffed hand warmers into your bag before you walked out the door. Yukari and Fuuka took it upon themselves to huddle around you on the skytrain, insisting on keeping you warm through sheer force of will and shared body heat. Junpei offered you his hat. 

By the time you made it to the front gates you had been coddled to the point where your heart was near to bursting with the goodwill slathered upon you. Surely, you thought, that was the end of it. But when you walked through the hallways, it seemed every single classmate had caught wind of your cold. 

"Don't push yourself!" Rio called on your way to class.

"It's good you can make it for class," Toriumi chimed in once you sat down at your seat.

"Make sure you stay warm," Hidetoshi warned you as he stepped past you on the way to lunch.

"Get plenty of fluids and rest," suggested Saori when you passed her on the way back to class. 

And to top it all off, Bebe came by to suggest drinking plenty of orange juice after class was over. You graciously let him explain to you just how important nutrition was for a newly recovered body and sent him on his way, before you sat back at your desk and put your head down for a moment. 

When you had enough of moping you got right back, only to see your friends surrounding you with varying degrees of concern, from bored to mildly worried. Fuuka was the most worried out of everyone. "Why does everyone know I got sick over the weekend?" you groaned, tightening the scarf around your neck before someone else could strangle you with it, in their misguided hopes of keeping you warmer. 

"It was probably Akihiko-senpai," came Yukari's guess. "I think he turned down hanging out with some friends because he wanted to make sure you were okay. I heard the phone call." 

Damn that Akihiko. "We should leave," you told everyone, voice deadly serious. "If we don't go now, I think everyone else I know will unionize and try to shove broth down my throat."

"Right back home, then?" was Yukari's reasonable suggestion. "Bed rest would be good."

"Or," you began, "we could get ramen! You know, a nice hot bowl of noodles is always a good remedy for sickness."

"Or rice porridge," said Aigis. "That is what I researched while you were sick."

"Hey, hey, don't you think she's sick of having rice porridge?" Finally Junpei spoke up, saving you from your doomed fate of having to go back home to eat nothing but rice porridge again. "I'll treat her to noodles too. Not the rest of you, since you're not recovering from a massive fever."

While you appreciated that greatly, you really had to clear the air. "I'm totally recovered now!" you announced, and then immediately felt your nose tickle. You took a deep breath and held it for a moment.

"She was totally about to sneeze," Yukari said dryly.

"Well, a little benefit of the doubt is nice too, isn't it?"

Minato, traitor he was, chose now to speak up against you. "She was about to sneeze."

"Allergies, maybe?" You gave your best casual laugh, but it quickly died down in the face of five unconvinced stares. Sheesh. There was no getting past them for anything, was there? But you wouldn't resign to your fate of being coddled so easily. You'd put up the fight of your life to get things back to their usual speed in no time. "Lots of pollen in the air, you know."

"In September?" Yukari, who was supposed to be your number one supporter, seemed to have found her loyalty elsewhere now. "Let's just get you your ramen and go home."

You took that as a victory at first, until your first year friends started walking in formation around you, which wasn't even that effective at keeping the cold out. You quietly and obediently ate under their watchful eyes, and didn't make a peep as you were marched back to the dormitories and then forbidden to take another foot outside until the morning. So instead of wandering around late at night you had to wander around bothering the rest of SEES instead.

They kept a tight eye on you until Wednesday, which was when insisted you needed to go shopping on your own without having a crowd of people surround you, scaring off everyone else on the road. But little did they know you were shopping for revenge, and come Thursday night you were prepared to start handing out your vengeance.

For Yukari, a cute color in nail polish. This is so cute, but it's fine, you didn't need to get me anything.

For Junpei, an actual baseball to play with. Sweet. But it's totally normal for friends to help each other.

For Fuuka, a new USB after hearing her old one was out of storage. Wow, I needed this. But you don't need to pay me back for anything.

For Aigis, a new romance novel you thought she'd get a kick out of. I appreciate the thought, but I do not need to be repaid.

For Shinjiro, a new cutting board to replace the old one. Do I look like someone who keeps track of debts? Go return this or something.

For Ken, a cool pencil case you were certain he'd impress his classmates with. This is nice, but shouldn't you spend your money on more cold medicine?

For Koromaru, what else but better dog treats? Woof, woof. 

For Akihiko, a protein shake. Oh, cool. Thanks!

For Mitsuru, a nice mug you were convinced was elegant enough for her. I appreciate the thought, but there is no need to pay us back for something like this. Helping you out is only natural; if your family member was sick, wouldn't you help too?

And finally, for Minato, you spent an inordinately long amount of time deciding what would be worthy of him. After all that thinking, you finally settled on a tea set from the antique store. Technically the purpose of the store wasn't to buy antiques, but you begged and begged until you got a pretty good price for a tea set.

You were halfway into his room carrying your present before you had a thought. Does he even like to drink tea? But by then it was too late, so you toughed it up and set the tray down with your newly cleaned haul and started placing everything on his desk. "Look what I got you!" you exclaimed. He put away his textbook, giving you more space to rearrange everything more neatly. "Also, um, do you like tea?" 

His eyes followed the trail of steam coming out of the teapot. You scrambled to explain yourself. "Well, I thought a tea set would be cool, so I haggled—er, convinced the owner of that antique store to sell this to me at a decent price, and then I also went to buy some hojicha, and then I asked Shinjiro-senpai how to steep it. But if you don't like it I can drink all of it and you can, I don't know, resell the tea set?"

"It's fine. I like tea," he assured you, and your shoulders relaxed at long last. He quickly got to his feet as you lifted the lid, taking a peek at the tea, and came back with a second chair for you to sit next to him. You gladly took a seat and took on the arduous duty of pouring out tea for him, before you gently pushed it in his direction. 

You waited for him to drink first before you did, and then immediately scalded yourself. Minato immediately procured a bottle of water for you which you tore open and drank half of, deeply regretting your eagerness in trying out the fancy tea leaves you had been assured was of the highest quality. "Was it expensive?" Minato asked.

"Of...of course not! This is just normal tea. Got it from the bargain bin. Haha." Your mind flashed back to the price tag. No, that was a secret to take to the grave. "Does it...taste good? I'm not really a tea expert."

He took another sip, unaffected by the scalding heat of it, and nodded slowly. "It's good," he said, and then looked at you for a moment.

"Hm? What's wrong?" You reached a hand out to touch the cup, only to jerk it away when it felt too hot. Minato carefully took your hand in his and you absolutely combusted in that moment, far more than you had drinking said tea in the first place. 

"You've been paying everyone back." Yes, that you were doing. 

You nodded. "Isn't it natural? You had to risk getting sick to take care of me."

"It's not something you need to buy presents for." His fingers brushed over the reddening area where you touched the teacup for too long. "Helping you is only natural."

"But I feel bad," you quietly told him. "So this is my way of feeling better about it."

He watched you for a while, a long while, and under his gaze you could only squirm and look towards the two cups of tea instead, watching the steam curl and dissipate. "Do you feel better now?" Minato finally said.

About what? you wanted to ask. My fever? My tongue? My hand? My guilt? Because my fever's gone and the burn doesn't hurt anymore, but I'll always feel like a burden to the rest of you all, especially when you're so nice to me. Why are you so nice to me? I don't get it.

"I'm all good now," you assured him. "Nothing can keep me down for long, you know?" You half expected him to pull his hand away now that you had promised him your vague recovery, but instead his fingers curled into yours, and the rest of you went still. 

When he finally let go to finish drinking his tea, you came to the realization the real burn inflicted on you was not by the tea or the ceramic, but rather the flush in your cheeks incurred by your dear protagonist sitting across from you. Yep, love was an incurable curse, or whatever it was Yuta from Jujutsu Kaisen said. All thoughts of guilt and sickness flew out of your mind, and you resolved the rest of your evening to drinking tea instead.

Chapter Text

In your dreams, Ryoji and Minato hovered at your bedside in your dorm room back at Tatsumi Port Island. "Does everything have to be self-sacrifice with you?" Ryoji scolded you, pinching at your nose despite your flails of protest. "That was incredibly reckless of you! Just because he had to do something so self-sacrificial—"

"—but it worked out, didn't it?" you retorted, sitting up so you could properly glare at the two. "And you two are the last people that should be lecturing me on self-sacrifice, with your track records. Besides, neither of you are real."

"Of course I'm not real," Ryoji replied easily. "Doesn't mean I can't give you a stern talking-to anyways."

"When it comes to a dream, my existence is secondary to whatever lesson I can impart on you." Minato, or rather, your lucid dream's conjuration of him, nodded knowingly. "In the end, I'm only as real as you want me to be."

You stared at the two for a moment, before you lay your head back down on the covers. "Okay. What lesson do you have for me, then? Besides abandoning altruism."

"Flinging yourself into the path of a bullet is not altruism. You know what it is, but you wanted to do so anyways." Ryoji took a seat beside you, and though you knew everything was the result of the synapses of your brain firing and no true visitation on Ryoji and Minato's part, you felt the dip of the bed under his weight and imagined him to be right beside you anyways. "You mean so much to so many people. You don't always need to live for one person. Isn't that right?"

"Don't kill yourself for me," Minato bluntly said. 

"Maybe not so harsh," muttered Ryoji beside you into his scarf. "What he means is that we care about you. And everyone else around you does too."

"I know," you mumbled, and you really did. You knew this, knew it better than anyone else, because these were the people who had been with you all your life. Ryoji. Minato. SEES. The Investigation Team. The Phantom Thieves. From group to group you jumped, and never once had you forgotten the care they had for you.

You knew, okay? But it was like a drowning man knew he was in too deep. There was this air of insouciance—this miasma of flippancy—which slipped under your tongue. Like the seawater, maybe. Like the salt. You knew, but what could you do except sink? "I know. But it's hard."

Ryoji sighed and delivered a flick right at Minato's forehead. The latter could only clasp at his forehead and stare back in muted betrayal. "Of course it's hard when all you've known is sacrifice. I have to wonder if, in another world, you'd have been better off with one of the other wild cards."

Yes, maybe. Because then you'd have experienced a life without death. If Yu Narukami was your protagonist you'd have learned the value of friendship, and if Kusuru Akira was your protagonist you'd have learned the value of rebellion. But not Minato Arisato, no. You entered this world and came face to face with the necessity of martyrdom. "I could've," you conceded, "but, you know... I don't regret being in love with Minato. Even if I'm still struggling to move on. And deal with my feelings."

"Well, isn't that a start?" Ryoji shifted closer to you, gently taking ahold of your shoulders. You watched in confusion as he slowly pushed you down until you lay on your bed once more, back flat against the mattress. "Anyways, did you think I forgot why you're here in the first place?"

You gulped. "Because we're friends and I wanted to see you?" was your hesitant, hopeful answer. He shook his head firmly, flippantly, in a way only your imagination of him could do. Ryoji cared a lot more, but this wasn't Ryoji. 

"Because you got shot trying to imitate this guy." Ryoji dragged Minato back into the picture, before pulling him up by the armpits to drag off your bed and shove towards the door. "Now we're going to retreat back into nothingness—"

"—say the Sea of Souls, it sounds cooler that way—"

"—and go back to the Sea of Souls," he finished. "Yes, whatever you say, we're going there. Are you ready for a magic trick?" Ever the excitable one, you answered in the affirmative. "Right, here goes. On the count of three you're going to wake up. One...two...three!" He slammed the door shut, pulling Minato with him, and it was then your eyes truly opened.

The ceiling was the first thing to greet you; pale white with yellow splotches of age. You blinked, only to have a head pop up right over you, bangs hovering above your face as a pair of hands unceremoniously pried your eyelids further open and a pair of eyes peered into your own. 

Just as you were starting to reconcile her face with the image of Takemi in your mind, Takemi the back alley doctor, she leaned back and left you more than a little puzzled at the sudden change in imagery. "First things first, welcome back to the world of the living. Your friends rushed you in here with a gunshot wound and offered an extreme sum of money to patch you up—luckily for them, I only charge a moderate sum of money. It's not your first one, is it? I saw a scar around the area that should be a few years old."

Your hand instinctively flew to that old wound of yours, only to brush against the thick gauze bandaging your new battle scar. "Ah, yeah, I did get shot in the past. Um, you must be..."

"Takemi Tae," she supplied, back turned to you as she typed a few things up in her computer. "Anyways, I'll print out some instructions for taking care of that wound and prescribe you some antibiotics and painkillers. Try not to move too much; the location wasn't ideal, but you should be fine now. I'll go call in the others."

She slid out of her chair, slinking out the door without a further word. You stared after her mutedly, before the door slammed back open and a flood of Phantom Thieves crowded around you. Each of them began inquiring after your health right away, words piling atop each other as you stared flabbergasted at the ring of teenagers which crowded around your little cot.

"I'm—no, it doesn't hurt—yes, I did get shot before—I'm fine," you stammered out, shrinking back a little. "How long were you guys waiting for me?" Under the massive array of concerned faces, you weren't sure whether to feel flattered or mortified. Yes, true, you were supposed to be accepting help, but not like this! Not so soon!

"Hey, give her some space," came the voice of authority, your youthful savior. Akira descended upon the mob like a saint incarnate, the strength of his holy glow parting the sea. "It's been two hours. Luckily Sojiro agreed to drive—"

A low groan echoed in the room as you buried your face in your hands, finally done acting like a mature adult in control of things. "Sojiro drove me?" you wailed, curling into one big ball of shame. "Next you're going to tell me Akechi's still here." The ensuing silence was answer enough, and with horror you shot back up, locking eyes with the scowling man behind everyone else. You dove back down in great, terrible, horrible shame which inched up your cheeks.

It was one thing to need help from the teenagers who had been helping you since the beginning. Another to need your part-time employer to drive you, bullet wound and all, to a back-alley doctor. But to have the boy you risked your life saving still be miraculously hanging around, despite the greatest faucet of his personality being pride stubborn enough to push everyone else away? When he couldn't trust a single person? 

Takemi came back in just in time to rescue you, pushing through the throng of people. "What you need is rest," she said. "And this is my clinic, not a hospital ward." She started shooing everyone out as they waved at you and promised to visit, before the only stragglers left were Akira and Akechi. Of course it was those two. 

"Sojiro had to go back to the store, but I can call him again if you want?" Akira asked, taking a cautious seat on the cot. Akechi still stood, standoffishly at the side, before Akira pulled him over and sat him down too. He bristled uncomfortably, glowering with his hackles raised, but made no move to leave. 

"No, no, I can call a cab. Hold on, where's my..." Before you could crawl out of bed to hunt your bag down, Akira reached under and procured it for you. "Ah. Thank you." You found your phone and an app for hailing cabs, before you thought of yet another source of great shame and buried your face back in your hands.

"Does it hurt?" Akira asked, voice gentle with concern.

Without raising your head, you mumbled, "I'm going to have to tell Mitsuru I got shot and then she's going to tell everyone." She would tell all of SEES, and then they'd immediately get mad at you. And if you told them the specifics of what was going through your mind? They would come over and start lecturing you in person. And then you'd go to sleep and you'd probably have Ryoji and Minato breathing down your neck to lecture you again. 

"So you're complaining about being loved?" came Akechi's thick drawl, and you slowly unwound your limbs to stare at him for a moment. Though you didn't react much he did, and his lips twisted and something near shame danced around his eyes. "What?" he snapped. 

You said, "Well, now I feel a little ashamed."

Akira leaned in a little closer to Akechi, cupping a hand to his ear. "You're making her feel bad," he whispered, though you heard all of it. The corner of your lips twitched in response. Akechi turned back to glare at Akira, pushing his hand away as he got up. 

"If you don't need me then I'm going," he said. "Or what? Does the saint want something in exchange?"

"Ah, wait—" A thought ran across your mind, and you scrambled to get out of the cot, only to stumble forward as Akira caught you quickly. A stroke of vertigo settled in the back of your head, before you took a deep breath and steadied yourself. "I do want something in exchange."

Akechi turned, ever so slightly, until half his face turned to meet yours. "Then what?" he snapped.

"In exchange, what I want..." You took a shallow breath, the details coming clearer into focus. Akechi, this prideful, hurtful, little thing... You couldn't let him slip out of your grasp so easily. "Could you help take care of me for this week? I'm not going to the police or anything despite all you've done, but you owe me that much, right?" The smile you gave him right after was no less brilliant than the ones you were so well known for. 

"Hah?" He furrowed his brows. "You want me to be your babysitter?"

You gave him a nonchalant shrug, gently removing Akira's arms to stand on your own. "I did save your life," you offered him. "Nearly at the cost of mine. And as a poor, working adult who lives on her own—"

"So you want a servant?"

"—I'd appreciate a companion," you finished. "I have a guest room, you know? And I can afford groceries and everything. Just not the heavy lifting." You gave a little point to your bandages, before you shuffled over to his side. "Or, well, do I really have to resort to blackmail?"

Akira watched on, almost amused. "You do owe her a good deal," he added.

It was fun to watch the changes go through Akechi's face in real time, the changes in color flashing through his delicate composition. When neither you nor Akira relented, he scowled and his eyebrows pinched together. "I hate being indebted to others," he finally ground out, before he turned around. "I'll wait outside." You could swear he clicked his tongue as he left, but then he was gone and it was only you and Akira left in the room.

"Will you be okay?" Akira asked, once he made sure Akechi was well out of earshot. "He's, well...you know." 

Oh, certainly, he was dangerous. Always would be in some capacity. This was a boy, who, in the pursuit of revenge didn't hesitate to bloody his hands and kill all he could. And yet you had been the one to stand at edge of the pool of blood he wrung from the necks of others to extend a hand.

You weren't his savior, not in that sense. And you wouldn't try to be, but...you felt responsible for him. You were an adult. He was, in some ways, still a child. What he needed was therapy, but who had time for therapy when the world was bound to end soon under the hands of a puppeteer god? 

"I think I'll be okay," you told him. "To be honest, there's a lot I want to tell him."

He nodded. "Okay. Let me know if you need any help." Yes, well, you'd probably try to keep to your own for the next week after receiving far too much help in just one day. You still had to stumble through processing everything and informing everyone of your unfortunate condition and then unloading all of your unfortunate backstory on Akechi so he could fully appreciate all the effort you put in, because something told you he had a frighteningly low opinion of you.

Wasn't it just selfish, at this point? Selfish self-indulgence. You wanted him to know that lengthy history which haunted you, and had only just begun to pull its claws out of your flesh. You shot him a smile and turned to leave, but he stopped you once more. "And...thank you. For helping him." His eyes seemed to bore into yours, serious in their sincerity. "I appreciate it."

Well, that was why he was your favorite. You grinned as you took his hands in yours, clasping them tightly with a quick squeeze. "Of course! And just so you know, he likes you too even if he won't say it. Despite everything, I still hope he can stay with the Phantom Thieves...so I'm counting on you to smooth things over with the team, if that's okay."

He nodded. Good kid. You let go of his hands and imagined that was what a good little brother would be like, not one like Narukami Yu and his way of getting under your skin. Akechi was hovering at the sidewalk when you exited, looking at you for a moment before he turned his gaze to the side, clearly intent on being as prickly as possible. "How about we get some dinner?" you asked him, checking one more time for the cab you called. "It's on me, of course."

When he didn't protest you decided that would work just fine. He was silent the whole ride over, eyes looking out the window as he settled his gloved hands on his lap and folded them neatly. You could see, though, how tightly he squeezed them together. 

Your arrival at the café Shinjiro worked at was received with generous applause by Hanasaki, the only waitress who'd be working here near to closing time. "Can I get a table for two?" you asked her, and she excitedly agreed, directing you to one of the window booths in the front.

"Should I go tell Aragaki you're here? No, I will! You're the only people here anyways, so please excuse me for a second!" She ran off without another word into the kitchen, where the sound of something clattering to the ground occurred not much later. Akechi watched on with barely-disguised disdain as Hanasaki emerged with her clothes in disarray, an angry Shinjiro at her heels. She shooed him over as she disappeared back into the kitchen, likely to clean up whatever mess she wrought.

He stalked over to your table with reluctance, though you could tell it was just his tough front. "Hi, Shinjiro-senpai," you greeted. "This is my, er, friend—"

"—associate," Akechi interjected for you sourly. 

"—my friend and associate, Akechi Goro."

"So you're here to bum a meal from me?" he drly said, raising an eyebrow. You gave him an awkward, sheepish laugh, before you winced a little and a hand shot to your stomach. It seemed the painkillers were beginning to wear off, because that laugh sent a lance of pain right through your nerves.

He noticed your hand and furrowed his brows. "Are you hurt?"

"Well, um, it's...about that..." You laughed again nervously, knowing the truth would come at great cost. "It's just—it's not that big of a—"

"She got shot." Akechi's voice was clipped and blunt. You whirled around to stare at him in disbelief and betrayal as he turned his head away. 

Shinjiro, meanwhile, had a look that could curdle milk. "Again?" he demanded. "How did you even—no, I don't want to know. What is with you and doing reckless shit?" 

"I, well, I just... It's just... It was for a good reason!" you argued. "Shinjiro-senpai, it was for—"

"If you're going to call me senpai, you sure as hell better listen to me." 

You hung your head, knowing you had no choice but to listen when he was going mom-mode. "Yes, I know. Sorry."

Seeing you obediently listen, his shoulders softened again. "What do you want?" he asked, chin jerking towards Akechi. "Your friend gets to choose since he's not injured, but all you're getting is something easy to eat."

"Ah, then..." Akechi's eyes fell to the menu. "Anything's fine with me." He seemed to reign in a little of that sour personality, but he didn't smile much either. Shinjiro took it in stride and gathered up the menus before he shot one more glance at the two of you then walked off. 

Once Shinjiro was safely tucked inside the kitchen you turned back to Akechi, who was also looking your way with a touch of annoyance. "Did you come to show off your touching friendship with your upperclassman?" 

Oh, right. That was probably how it looked, didn't it? "Not really. I just really trust him, and I didn't really want to cook today." You cast a glance towards the kitchen, imagining Shinjiro hovering at the stove muttering as he began to cook. It was a warm thought. "Would you have preferred somewhere else?"

As always, his glower didn't change. "It makes no difference to me." He shifted a little in his seat, crossing his legs as he pointedly looked away from you. Still sulking after being roped into becoming your new companion for the week, was he? 

You let the moments pass by in silence before Shinjiro came back with a nice meal for Akechi and hospital food for you. Not even the nice Japanese kind you had at the hospitals, but the kind you'd imagine while thinking of hospital food. You stared at Akechi's beautifully done omurice enviously before looking at your begrudgingly delectable rice porridge. "I just got shot," you whined, eyes roaming back to Akechi's meal. "Isn't this too cruel?"

"Maybe then you'll think twice before jumping in front of a bullet," he drawled. 

You put on an expression of surprise. "Well, how do you know? Maybe I just happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time."

He gave you a cold look. "Yeah, right," he snorted. "There ain't a chance in heaven or hell it was a coincidence. You probably took a shot to the stomach jumping in front of someone else, just like the first time."

You gave him another pout, but he was completely unfazed. It was a real shame he was immune to your wily charms now,  but that was the price of friendship. He excused himself after to clean the dishes, dragging Hanasaki back with him as she started walking over to your table once more. And then, in the silence, you took a bite of your food and savored the taste before you caught Akechi staring at you once more.

"So you do that often?" he said sarcastically, the teeth of his words sinking into your skin. "Play the hero."

You set down your spoon slowly. "You know," you began, "I don't really think I'm much of a hero."

"Really. Because you seem to enjoy acting like one well enough."

And there it was. He was right, of course, because you weren't really a hero. Just someone who lost a lot. Lost your old life, lost your boyfriend, lost a life you had just begun getting accustomed to. And then lost your childhood in the process of growing up. "The thing is, I asked you out here because I wanted to talk to you. Not to tell you what you did wrong, or try to change your mind. That's not my job." You took a deep breath, trying to keep your expression calm. "I just wanted to tell you...about myself, I guess. If you'll listen to me. When you asked about my palace, I never told you why I had one in the first place."

"So... What? You want me to be your therapist?" You could see the disbelief in his eyes, even as he had his expression contorted in such a prickly way. 

"Not like that!" The thought flustered you, even though he wasn't completely wrong. "I guess I just... I don't think you like me very much, Akechi. And you don't have to, but the truth is, I saved you because I like Akira very much, and I didn't want him to turn out like me."

"Oh really?" His drawl was dry. "How so? The hero complex or the nosiness?"

You fixed him with a quiet look. "Being in love with someone meant to die," you said, and Akechi's mouth opened for a moment before he closed it deftly. Taking his silence as a chance to continue, you slowly wrapped your tongue around the words that you held inside your chest for so long. "The truth is, I've been a persona user longer than you or the Phantom Thieves. Back in 2008, when I was a second year, I joined an organization dedicated to fighting shadows. And in 2009 when the world was about to end, we saved it."

"There was something about the cults and the moon," he murmured. He wasn't quite kind, but he was at least listening. "That was you?"

"Yeah." The doomsday cults which had been so prevalent in your time were now a mere afterthought to those who hadn't lived through it. "We saved the world, but to prevent the same thing from happening again our leader had to give up his life. Like you and Akira, he was able to use multiple personas. And he was my boyfriend." You raised your head to look at him. "Do you know about fate?"

He scoffed, seemingly offended you even needed to ask. "The Greek idea or just in general?"

"Just in general." Your hand traced a line across the table. "To me, fate is like...a wheel going down a road. The destination can't change, but there are bumps and ditches in the road. My boyfriend was the destination. And you were...a pit stop on the way there. By all means, you should've died. But I didn't want you to."

Akechi's mouth, by now, had pressed into a thin line. "And you're an arbiter of fate, how?"

Your secret would stay with you, so you quirked your mouth into a smile. "Well, I've been hanging around for this long, haven't I? I've saved the world twice already. I think I have a pretty good idea of how things go by this point."

"So what? You want me to feel pity for you?" 

"Maybe a little bit would be nice." But not a lot. Not enough to make you feel guilty. "Mostly I just wanted you to know, I guess. The reason I had my palace in the first place is because of my boyfriend. I just felt so guilty, like I could've done something to save him. And that I had to punish myself to make up for it. You asked why I play the hero so often, right? Because that's what he would've done. I'm not the kind of person who can earnestly want to help others. Not like Akira."

Akechi was quiet, so you pressed a little more. "I don't know how you feel about him, but it's clear to me that he likes you, and at the very least you don't hate him."

When you peeked at his expression, he didn't seem to hate you. But you knew he would never like you, be close to you, be anything more than confidants crossing paths briefly. But that was alright. You just wanted him to see you as you were, and if he decided all you said was a load of hogwash, then you could take that defeat with grace. 

"Let's get to eating then," you said cheerfully, "before our food gets cold. Eat up! I'll pay for everything this week, so you just focus on helping me recover. And, um, I also need you to protect me."

His hand stopped. "From what?"

"Well..." You laughed sheepishly. "Everyone's going to be really mad I got shot again. Please make sure no one kills me."

He watched you for a moment warily. "No promises," he finally said, before he began eating pointedly, letting you know he was done with the conversation. But even then, you felt like just a little part of him was more agreeable than before. 

You'd never be best friends. You'd never be, god forbid, anything more than two ships passing one another in the dark night. But as long as he loved the one you loved and the two of you could settle into a mutual partnership, you thought you'd turn out just fine in the end.

Chapter Text

The night before you were set to confront Izanami, Yu stopped by your room at the inn with two cans of Orange Smash. "Since I'm not old enough to get beer," he explained as he made himself right at home while you were staring blankly at his sudden entrance.

"Shouldn't you be getting a good night's sleep?" you asked instead, but even as you said that you reached out for one of the cans to open. "We are fighting a god tomorrow. One that's supposedly unbeatable." That he hadn't fought before too, because for him his memories had ended quite a while ago once he got past Adachi's fight. 

He raised an eyebrow at you calmly. "But you've already fought one, haven't you?" he replied mildly. 

"Well, Nyx was different."

"Still a god said to be undefeatable? With the fate of the world at stake?"

You took a sip of your orange soda instead, spitefully. "Yes," you muttered after, much to your chagrin. "What's your point?"

Narukami Yu, more at ease in your borrowed room than you were, shrugged. "Then I don't see why I can't either."

"Yeah, well. You're not wrong. Igor's not sending kids like you on suicide missions anymore." 

Even with your testy voice and bitter attitude, a smug smile bloomed on Yu's face. "Is that some resentment I'm hearing?" he practically cooed at you. "And a joke?"

"Yes to the resentment, no to the joke. It's true!" You raised your can of soda, shaking it back and forth at him. "You're definitely not dying tomorrow. They wouldn't forsake the bonds of friendship like that."

Having received the answer he was seeking, Yu leaned back once more, all cozy and languid. "See? There's nothing I have to be worried about tomorrow. I would be more concerned about your grades, since you're missing out on class again. Are they that lenient at the University of Tokyo?"

At least he had the energy to be joking around. If it were any of his companions, maybe not. You suspected they were in bed making half-hearted attempts to sleep at the moment, while you were off cavorting with their fearless leader over orange soda. "My grades are still stellar, actually," you informed him, a bit of haughty pride bleeding into your voice.

"And your sleep schedule?"

Great. Narukami Yu was the type of person to only go for the kill on the second blow. "It's...something," you told him. You tried again. "I am getting enough sleep," you continued, one eye twitching the whole time. "I am sleeping a normal amount."

He watched you with those deep grey eyes of his. "Did you know you're a really bad liar?"

You scowled and said, "Yes, I know."

"Good. So how much are you sleeping these days?"

"Seven hours," you lied, thinking eight would be too much of a stretch. He continued watching you. "Six," you corrected. "Five. Okay, four. Okay, sorry, three." That was the answer he was looking for, the truth, and once he received it you were affixed with yet another look. You scowled again at him before you downed the rest of your drink, making an attempt to crush the can in your hand to show him just how peeved you were. You made a dent in the side before Yu amusedly took the can from you and effortlessly crushed it.

He set it back down on the table. "There you go."

"You get lots of practice crushing cards," you immediately hurried to say. "And a can is almost the same shape, so it's not really a fair competition. If you were keeping track."

"I didn't think it was one, so no, I wasn't keeping track."

"Well, you should be, because—" You stopped yourself before you could finish that train of thought. "Why am I arguing with you over crushing cans? You should be going back to your place to get a good night's sleep for tomorrow. Where you're fighting Izanami, might I add. Goddess of the Underworld. Wife and sister of Izanagi—"

Yu interjected, "I know who she is. And I'll leave soon, but I just wanted to come check in on you. And ask a little about the last time you fought a god, if you're up for it."

Oh, you knew what he meant very well. Up for it. Up for talking about the last time you fought a god and inevitably lost the one person you loved the most. Yes, that was it. He could joke about these things, but then he'd ask so clearly if it was okay to be dredging up these memories of yours.

Yes, it was okay. Of course it was. He'd be dead whether you talked about him or not. "It's fine," you explained, and then choked a little on your tongue. "Nyx was a long fight. But you have to understand, it was more mental than it was physical. It was about how long you could stand there before—before something that used to be your friend—and keep fighting against a hopeless battle."

"It wasn't hopeless," he quietly said. 

"No, but it felt like it. Ryoji gave us a choice, but it was die or die, you know. That's what it felt like." To everyone else, but especially to you and Minato. It was die together or die separate, and the both of you knew that. He knew letting Ryoji live to become Nyx would mean his death, as with everything else he did, and he went through with it. "He did it, in the end. But you know how that ended up."

He said, "I'm sorry," but it didn't feel like much of one. Not that you expected it. Minato was an acquaintance at best to him. They crossed paths in one lifetime and never again. They were a chance meeting, but Yu didn't seem to be much into chance meetings, only fate meetings. 

You and him. The last people left who could peer beyond the confines of the narrative, except he was still trapped in it and you were shackled by it. "I lost two people fighting one god. But you won't have to." Surprisingly, you sounded more wistful than bitter. "Does that answer your question? That's how Nyx was like."

Yu finished his soda, but instead of crushing it he placed the empty can back on the table, setting it next to your wrinkled mess of a can. "Yeah. Thanks." He rose to his feet, leaving his litter behind for you to clean up. Typical teenager. "I'll see you tomorrow?"

"I'll see you tomorrow," you confirmed for him, and he gave you one last smile before he left just as swiftly as he arrived. You were then forced to clean up after him by tossing both cans into the trash can before you slid back into bed, the way you were before he came knocking at your door. But in his absence the darkness felt darker and though you had specifically set aside a good amount of sleep time in preparation for fighting a god, that time was whittled away into time spent staring at the ceiling. 

What happened once tomorrow was over? Well, Izanami would be gone. Truth would prevail. You'd go back to Tokyo with Yu, because he insisted on taking the same train back. He'd go on and finish his high school education, just as you'd finish your college degree.

Then you'd probably get a job with Mitsuru like she had been asking you. She felt she owed it to you, and you didn't find it in you to reject her. You'd work and work until one day you'd retire, then you'd die in your old age. Would you have kids? Would you get married? It didn't feel so likely. 

You'd probably stay alone for the rest of your life, then. All of your future blended together before you into one straight line, a single plank path you'd take into the dark. You could see it so clearly it was tangible, and tomorrow after Izanami was defeated you'd take that path and walk it until the end. No detours. No other routes.

That was how your life was going to be. It would be boring. It would be simple. It was nothing more and nothing less of an ordinary conclusion to an extraordinary journey. Would you never get to see Minato again? But Igor promised, you recalled, said something about how you weren't ready yet. So would you ever be ready? Would he ever deliver on that promise he made to you all those years ago?

In the dark you closed your eyes once more, turning away from the ceiling and onto your side. You were ambivalent towards the prospect of an ordinary life, but didn't you at least deserve to see him once more? If that was the case, there was only one more chance you had. One more wildcard before your memories came to an end, but did that matter? Igor would be there once the false god was taken care of, and that was it. That was your last chance.

Yes, you could do that. You could stop your journey there. And you knew, you did, that you were only grasping for straws to return to some semblance of the kind of happiness you lost—you thought maybe this whole persona business could bring back that former zeal for life. It wouldn't really, and it wouldn't ease your sorrow, but without this you were nothing else.

Tomorrow was Izanami. The day after was Tokyo. Then it was Akira Kurusu and your final chance. You slept thinking of this and woke to the incessant whining of your alarm and a headache that wouldn't cease the entire trip to Izanami. But you still had to put on a brave face and walk yourself there, there to the pits of hell, to the rotting figure of Izanami. Into the fog, where it was dense and thick enough to choke. 

Even then, you were a shadow of what you once were. You didn't protest at being in the backlines, though it did make you feel a special kind of useless. Watching a couple teenagers fight a goddess of death intent on making humanity march to her beat. You were once one of those teenagers, but now you had to rely on some.

Izanami was a great looming figure, impressive by all means, but you couldn't find it in yourself to be impressed. She wasn't the contortion of your friend into the looming inevitability of death; she wasn't the one who'd force your life's most beloved person into becoming a seal. You treated her calmly and passively, but who would've expected her to single you out instead, in the midst of her rambling?

That large figure, shrouded in white, trailed off as she looked at you. "How curious. I can smell death upon you. I know of few that leave as powerful a mark upon those that encounter them."

"Do you mean...Nyx? I was one of the ones who killed Nyx's avatar and prevented the Fall." There was only a hint of preening in your voice, when it really should've been quite a bit considering how impressive of a feat that was. But rather than fall to her knees and praise your incredible track record, Izanami's bound figure only hovered impassively.

"Yes," she said calmly. "I can sense that now. So they have recruited one who has already fought a god. But I am nothing like Nyx."

"It's a struggle against the collective will of mankind either way, isn't it?" 

A rumble almost resembling a laugh shook through the place. "See for yourself, foolish human, how far that thinking will get you. Nyx is the night and I am the day. She is an otherworldly being, but I am a true god. Do not confuse us."

Yu shifted so that he stood a little more in front of you. "Maybe don't talk back against the god we're supposed to be fighting," he murmured. 

"It's not like I have anything else to do," you whispered back. "Kill her dead for me?"

He gently knocked a knuckle against the side of your head. "You didn't even need to ask, but sure. We'll do that." Izanami, a rotting goddess locked away in the underworld. Your compatriots fought her well enough, though you knew the true fight was yet to come. She was a great symbol of death just like Nyx, so why was it she represented the truth instead?

A skeleton, bones bleached red, which clung onto the former glory of the gods. Her hands raised in prayer, delivering upon your meagre group of compatriots a curse that would one by one drag you all down to hell. You didn't put up a fight when it came, because to you it wasn't the end. It was the beginning of tomorrow, and tomorrow's tomorrow, and the single plank path to your real death.

"Do you see now, remnant of Nyx?" murmured her voice in a low echo as thousands of hands pulled you down in front of Yu's wide eyes. "Your death was of the body, but my death is of the soul."

"Don't you have better things to do than talk to me?" you asked instead, in the endless white void of death. "I'm not even Nyx, nor am I the one who sealed her. I don't understand why you're trying to prove yourself to me."

Even without a face or body to look at, you could sense the annoyance from her. "Is that how you see this? I am not so ignorant of the ways of the world I can't sense a traveler from afar. I wish no real malice upon you; you have simply run against that which I fight for." 

"So you know that I..." Even Ryoji, in his last moments, could only ever allude to it. Only Igor had ever been so forthright with your existence as someone originally outside the narrative of this world. But of course Izanami of all people would be the one to point it out to you, someone who would be vanquished soon enough once Yu regained his footing. "What are you trying to tell me, then? I don't think I understand."

"You are still a child of mine. I was once Izanami-no-Mikoto, she who invites, though now I merely remain a fragment. And of my children, I feel pity for you. My poor child, whose love will reside in the Underworld."

For someone whose physical body had ceased to exist in your temporary death, the sensation of your mouth going dry was strikingly visceral. "Orpheus and Eurydice," you said aloud, wondering if a goddess of creation could be comparing you to her in this way. 

"Chang'e and Hou Yi," she finished. "Is that not what you call them? One who reaches, and one who cannot be touched. I cannot help you. I only feel sorry for you."

Pity. From Izanami. It was unexpected, but rather than make you feel honored, it only made you feel drained. "I feel sorry for myself too," you muttered. "That I have to be comforted by the goddess I'm supposed to be defeating." But before Izanami could speak once more, you felt a tug at your soul, at the thing which connected you to the world.

So the bonds of friendship still ran strong in death, who knew. You reached your hand out for that metaphorical spider's thread and felt for Yu on the other end, who was in the process of learning how to get up and face his first god. 

Had the time gone by so fast? He was once a protagonist you kept your distance from, but now he was just as irreplaceable as everyone else. He was the closest thing you had to a family, in this world where your old family was long gone and your new one was scattered around Japan in their adulthood. "Yu," you began, letting every inch of affection seep from your veins into your voice, "I don't think I ever told you, but I think of you as family too. You said we were bound by something stronger than blood or choice, but I disagree. We are bound by choice. Maybe our fate brought us together, but in the end I chose to spend my fate with you.

"It's your fate to win today, but you know, I'd rather say it was your choice. I'm choosing to believe in you now, so...I'll see you when all this is over." With that the connection between the two of you snapped and once more you were plunged into the infinite white void. But it wasn't scary. You knew moments later the white would come awash with the colors of life, and you waited patiently for that moment.

It didn't take long. The truths had been unleashed upon Izanami, and with that came the release of you and the rest of the Investigation Team from their temporary death. You stumbled onto a flat surface as Chie's hand darted out to grab your arm before you could tumble. But you had no time to thank her as the skeletal figure of Izanami-no-Okami writhed in her defeat.

But unlike in your meagre memories, she didn't seem so disbelieving. "So your wills have prevailed against that of humanity's... Perhaps I have been looking down on you all." It may have only been your imagination, but she seemed to look in your direction with those empty sockets. "Well done, children of man. The future is now yours to shape."

So even decrepit goddesses could die with grace. Izanami-no-Okami simply faded away, and with her the fight that had been plaguing the minds of everyone else. She would take the fog with her, but the fog had never been your concern. Tomorrow was still coming, but you had a better idea of the tomorrow you wanted.

There was still one more wild card you could look for. And when his journey was done, Igor would return. Igor and his promise, the last thing you had left to wake up for. You had already waited years to see him, so surely you could wait years more. You missed him with a keenness that could pierce your heart in all different ways. 

The television world around you blossomed and bloomed into a beautiful sight without the fog which had suffocated it into grey submission, but you weren't satisfied. All the beauty in the world could only be a momentary detour, and then you'd return once again to your lonely journey. 

"What are you thinking about so carefully?" Yu asked, tilting his head towards you. "The camera's about to go off." You quickly pulled your face into a pleasant smile just before the flash blinded your eyes. As soon as Marie lowered the camera you ripped your gaze away and towards the ground, where neither the sun nor the camera could blind you. Here it was, the end of a story. It was only your second time, but you didn't think you'd ever get used to it.

"What are you going to do after this?" you asked him, still looking at the grass beneath your feet. The blades acquiesced beneath your weight, but it still felt too much like you were trampling on them. 

His hand tugged you towards the long-awaited exit, where princes became paupers and persona users became normal people. Where the future stretched on in that long path, its end foretold the moment you embarked on its journey. "I'll go back to Tokyo," he began, "finish up school there. Don't you think I'd be a great white collar worker?"

You held back a snort behind your hand, taking his with the other as he pulled you out of the television world. "It seems too normal for you. But I like it. You should try experiencing a normal life for once."

"And you?"

Raising your head, you shielded your gaze from the glaring Junes strobe lights. "Hm?"

"Will you be following your own advice? Living a normal life instead of going around fighting shadows."

You had just one more story left before your memories would leave you at a blank, one last chance to meet with Igor. That was it. That was all. Of course you couldn't yet submit to a normal life, because normalcy? That was an honor at this point, a right afforded to the ones who could come out of a life and death journey with their life intact. So you said, "Maybe in the future, but I'm just having too much fun right now!"

The inflection towards the end of your voice was a little overdone and the smile on your face a little stiff, but if he saw that he said nothing. He probably did. Some days it felt like everything about you he was privy to, in a way only someone so objective about his emotions could be. "Then maybe I'll see you around in Tokyo sometime."

"I'll buy you a meal or two once in a while. I can't have the college student exerting his wallet, you know." You clapped a hand on his back, before you started pushing him towards the others. "I'll see you later. I should go pack up my stuff while you go talk to them."

You were the first to turn and leave, but even a fair distance away you could hear his voice loud and clear. "I'll text you later!" he called. "Let's get the same train back to Tokyo!" So you weren't free of him yet. Even then, you couldn't help but smile to yourself the whole walk back. You hadn't brought much in the first place, and piece by piece you folded and packed them away into your small suitcase, until nothing of yours remained in the room. 

The next day, you waited on your lonesome in the train, peeking out the window as he said his final goodbyes before boarding the train. He was their leader and you were a tagalong they still weren't sure how to treat, so of course you only had to wish them well before escaping to your seat. 

Yu finally reached his seat, putting his bag in the overhead compartment before he squeezed by you to get to the window seat, waving through the window at everyone else still watching him. "What will you do when you get back?" he asked without looking at you.

"I think I'll have to drop by my apartment first to put my stuff down." And then it was back to college and back to that same monotonous life until 2016, when you'd embark on your final journey. This was where you and Yu parted ways, but even then you still hesitated to cut that thread. "Although, if you're not busy..."

The train began moving, and Yu took the time to wave to the others. "Yeah?"

"You want to get lunch at my place?" The words felt thick in your mouth. "I'm not the best cook, but I can humor any requests you have. I just thought it'd be—because we're heading back together anyways—you don't have to," you blandly finished, before you propped your head up on your hand and pointedly turned away from him. 

He sounded amused. "Are you embarrassed?"

"No!" You closed your eyes and took in a deep breath. "Well...a little. I haven't really cooked for anyone else in a long time. I don't know how good it'll be, mind you."

"Well, then I'll just have to be your test subject. I've had worse, you know."

"Mystery Food X?"

"Mystery Food X," he agreed. "If I can survive that, I can survive anything."

You had a little laugh to yourself. "Alright," you breathed, "let's get lunch together, then. I can send you the address while you drop off your stuff."

"And you can count on me to be there." When you finally turned back to face him, he was smiling warmly at you. It was the kind of warmth any normal teenage boy would have. So he had learned that lesson, at least, a lesson in friendship and affection. "Is my story over now?"

"Seeing as you've been kicked from the Velvet Room, yes, it is."

His smile turned wry. "Sorry we never got to follow through on your deal."

You waved him off, saying, "It's really not that big of an issue. I'll have another chance in the future."

"Then you'll be fine." Maybe so. It was hard to say now, but Yu could smell pessimism like a bloodshark, so you'd rather keep yourself buoyant in his presence. "As for lunch, how about curry?"

So he was starting off easy. "That's not so bad. Do you feel like helping me, then?"

"My pleasure." Somehow, you had the feeling he'd end up doing most of the work himself. He excelled far too much at cooking as it was, compared to someone like you who had only made it through with Shinjiro's lessons. But it wouldn't be so bad to rely on him a little, would it? Narukami Yu was someone who was very different from Minato, that much you could see—but all the same, you truly did care for him.

He was someone who had traversed his journey to its end. He was someone who Igor had taken in and left. He, unlike you, could behold the final arcana, the World. And for whatever reason he was fond of you. What a strange concept, but you didn't hate it. Between him and everyone else, you probably had enough love to last you for a lifetime.

You weren't stupid. You knew that people, for their inane reasons, liked you. They liked you well enough to stay with you through the years. It wasn't a question of whether they did, but whether you deserved it.

"And thank you," Yu said, in the silence between the two of you, "for your words back then during the fight with Izanami. I'm glad you chose to believe in me. I believe in you too."

"What's bringing this on?" you quickly got out, though the words were sticky in your throat. You made it lighthearted, a little tease and prod. 

He nonchalantly said, "Well, I thought it'd be good for you to hear it. I'm choosing to be with you too. You think I'd take the train back to Tokyo with Adachi?" Before you could reply, he added, "Well, disregarding the last time I went with Adachi, of course."

So he even saw through your attempt to poke a little fun at his past allegiance. "I appreciate hearing it, then. Thank you."

It was a nice thought. No matter what the future held, you'd have him at your side. He chose this. He chose you, and you chose him; no matter what his fate and yours would, in this moment the two of you had joined paths and walked together into the future. You wouldn't have it any other way.

Chapter Text

The first visitor was, unexpectedly, Mitsuru. 

Although you knew without a doubt she'd come, you didn't think she'd barge in first thing in the morning carrying with her a plastic bag filled with first aid supplies, and then another with breakfast. Akechi was hardly done opening the door before she came inside in all her glory, slipping off her shoes with remarkable grace, and immediately started unpacking everything as you blanked out at the kitchen table.

"First, I brought extra supplies to clean your wound. I asked a specialist in America to write down detailed instructions here"—she pulled out a folded piece of paper with written instructions on it—"and I packed you everything you'd conceivably need during your recovery. I've already given you two weeks of paid leave, but let me know if you need more." She beckoned for Akechi to come over as you were still staring at the cache of medical supplies she poured over your tiny kitchen table. He awkwardly came over, because Mitsuru had that effect on even the most hardheaded of people. 

She began unpacking her second bag, and you realized it was all containers of takeout food. "For breakfast I asked my personal chef to prepare easy to digest foods with plenty of nutritional value." She gave a nod towards Akechi. "There's enough for you, so you make sure she eats everything." 

Akechi slowly gave her a nod. "Good," she said, before turning to you. "And now that I've explained everything, just what were you thinking? I nearly had a heart attack when you said you were shot yesterday. You jumped in front of someone, didn't you?"

"I will neither confirm nor deny that," you sagely replied, though you shared a terse glance with Akechi. It was for the better Mitsuru never find out the cause of your brief hospitalization was standing right beside her. "But, Mitsuru, this is so much—"

She shook her head firmly. "You need to care for yourself more," she said. "You've done more than enough for me. Shouldn't it be my turn to help you?"

That didn't seem right. It was Mitsuru who gave you this job, and Mitsuru who was so lax with all your requests it made you feel like you were taking advantage of her all the time. She was so deeply caring, just like the rest of SEES, and even now she had taken time off her busy schedule to visit you. 

"Thank you," you breathed, smile coming across your face. For now she wouldn't want to hear something so deprecating from you, so all you could do was thank her and hope your sincerity was enough. "Mitsuru, thank you. You're a friend I couldn't be happier to have."

She smiled and said, "The same goes for me. Take good care of yourself." Her sharp eyes went to Akechi. "I don't know why you're here, but I trust her judgement. Make sure she doesn't do something foolish like start working from home."

Seeing as Mitsuru wasn't in the know-how about his edgy personality, he grew a polite smile on his face and gave her a curt nod. "I'll make sure of it," he said mildly, and Mitsuru nodded, before she gave you her goodbyes and absconded as quick as she came. For someone so busy, it was a miracle she could come by unannounced, and you cherished having seen her even briefly. 

Akechi pulled out a seat at the kitchen table and took a closer look at the food. He paused, and then grabbed the paper bag they came out of. "This is...a three star Michelin restaurant," he slowly said. You squinted at the bag from across the table, and then back at the takeout boxes. 

"Well," you began, "knowing Mitsuru, I bet the chef from this place probably has an agreement or partnership with her."

"Must be nice knowing someone powerful, huh?" His smile morphed from polite to wry, in a way that was clearly scorning at your capitalist connections. "What a friend for a Phantom Thief to have."

You first took a bite of the delicate, creamy risotto to gain a bit of strength. Then you popped a painkiller Mitsuru helpfully supplied to keep your wits sharp and your thoughts off the pain in your abdomen. Once you were ready, you could finally reveal one of your many secrets to him. "You know she's a persona user too, right?"

"Kirijo?"

"Yeah. That's how we know each other." The risotto was seriously good, but then again, it was made by a three star Michelin chef Mitsuru considered good enough to call her private chef. "So if you're trying to make a connection to the other rich, powerful people the Phantom Thieves have taken down, I guess she looks like that. But I trust her deeply, and I'm sure she doesn't abuse any power she has."

It seemed the food had won him over too, because he was less harsh after he had a few bites of a delectable looking seafood pasta. "Power is power. It's naïve to think people won't change in the face of it."

But Mitsuru was Mitsuru, and it was hard to imagine her growing power hungry like all the targets of the Phantom Thieves. She paid a fair salary, kept a tight eye on all her business partners, and never once compromised her integrity for further gain. But to explain all this to Akechi would be speaking to a brick wall, so you only assured him, "Then if she changes, I'll be the first to stop her."

It didn't seem to satisfy him, but he was already done speaking, so you ate with him in silence. But as you got up to throw everything away, he stopped you. "Do you want to tear your stitches?" he hissed, taking everything from you to dump in the correct bin. "If you're going to make me stay here as your assistant, you might as well follow through with that." 

Seeing that, you could only let him proceed. When you wanted something, you had to ask him to procure it for you. You lived no better than a pig on the couch until the doorbell rang only three hours after Mitsuru left. 

"Is that another one of your friends?" Akechi asked dryly, but walked over to open the door. 

This time it was Yukari who came inside, slipping off her shoes as she went running right for you, stopping just before she could give you a tight hug. "You got yourself shot again!" she exclaimed, before she brandished the paper bag she was carting. "Anyways, I heard Mitsuru already brought you everything to take care of your wound, so I got you some books to read so you don't get bored and go get yourself shot again."

You were starting to see what kind of image everyone had of you, and it was appalling. "Who do you think I am?"

"Someone who got shot again to protect someone," she said self-righteously. She turned towards the door where Akechi stood. "Oh, I remember you. Are you here to help out?"

That same detective prince smile returned in full force. "Something like that," he offered, walking gracefully over to where you slumped on the couch. "Incidentally, may I ask how many of you are coming to visit?"

"Well, I only know about our friends, but..." Yukari turned to you, crossing her arms. "I think we're all taking time off work to come by Tokyo for you. Ken's bringing Koromaru too, but he agreed to go with Junpei at least. And they're bringing Aigis."

Well that was certainly a surprise. "But, don't you guys have—"

"Do you think we can't at the very least take some time off to see you?" Yukari huffed. "We really do care about you, you know. You should've seen how many typos Junpei made in the groupchat." That sounded like him, but the thing was, you couldn't recall that at all.

"But didn't you guys just say things like hope you feel better soon?" After you posted the news to the SEES groupchat, that was all everyone said, in perfect rehearsed grammar. Yukari stopped, paused, and blankly stared at you for a long moment before she grimaced. 

"What I mean is, well... Anyways, seriously, don't try to do anything while you're recovering. You'll watch her, right?" 

Akechi, dragged back into the conversation, said, "Right."

"Seriously. Last time she was shot we caught her trying to sneak out to buy thank you cards for all of us and all the nurses." You did, in fact, remember that. You were so close too, but Minato somehow unlocked a sixth sense when it came to you escaping bedrest and carted you back into the room. And then Mitsuru got a nurse to watch you like a hawk the rest of your hospitalization so you were forced to wait out the entire recovery period before you got back to buying thank you cards. 

"That certainly sounds like her." He laughed in a way that suggested his mild interest in the topic, but you knew he really couldn't care less. At least it was enough for Yukari, who felt confident enough in Akechi that she said a few more goodbyes then hurried off to the photoshoot she was supposed to be at. 

When she was gone you gestured for Akechi to take a seat beside you, before you started rummaging through the books she came toting all the way to your apartment. She certainly had a whole variety, from the recent philosophical debates to a few children's books. All were new to you except the one at the very end, and when you pulled it out you found a familiar cover. It was the one you had selected among many during the editing process.

You held that book in your hand gingerly. You weren't sure what message she had been trying to pass onto you, but it was one that you received shakily. "You're into children's books now?" Akechi commented from the side, and you could only swallow the memories that came from it as you nodded and pushed it a little towards him. 

"This is...a book my friend wrote before he died." You ran your finger across the name Kamiki Akinari at the bottom, large and bold so that the eyes of those who saw it would inevitably be drawn to it. "I published it, actually! That's why I have a Wikipedia page about me."

"Ah. Do you?" You nodded and he nodded, and then when he thought you weren't looking, he pulled out his phone and Googled your name. It was funny, so you didn't say anything when he did indeed find your barebones Wikipedia page and the part which talked about your publishing of the book; how you had all profits donated to research, how you made sure your name wasn't included anywhere in the actual book. 

If this were months in the past, maybe the thought of this story would be unbearable. But as it was now, you could only feel bittersweet as you turned the pages and read through the familiar words. Memories and mementos. Keepsakes and namesakes. Akinari had given his story to you and Minato for whatever you wanted, and his mother had passed off that to you. In another world, maybe you would've kept it to yourself as a memory of him, but in this world you wanted everyone to know him.

The dead never really died, when it came to you. You kept their memories going and going in your mind, thinking of them years into the future. Akinari would live forever, if not in your mind then in the mind of those who read his story. "Have you read it?" you asked Akechi curiously, and he quickly put away his phone.

"I don't read children's books," he said blandly.

"Let's read this one, then!" You flipped back to the first page for him, eyes tracing the lines of the pictures so lovingly drawn. "I may be biased, but this is probably the best children's book ever." So you read the book out loud, and if Akechi grew bored or tired, he didn't make it obvious. 

When you finished the final page and closed the book, he didn't say anything. He stayed silent as you picked up a new book and stayed silent when you peeked over the book at him, so you let him be as you dug into your romance novel. You had yet to encounter a truly spicy scene before the doorbell rang again, and without a pause Akechi got to his feet to make his way over to the door.

The next person was not a person at all; they were a group of teenagers who burst into your apartment building while stumbling over each other. The Phantom Thieves burst into the scene each carrying a different kind of fruit, which they lined up to leave in your kitchen without asking. "Whoa, what are you doing here, dude?" Ryuji exclaimed, almost dropping his watermelon. 

"What do you think?" You would categorize his smile as self deprecating, but not in a way that garnered pity, no. It was infuriatingly self deprecating. 

"He's helping me out," you offered when he failed to elaborate. "And you guys, you didn't have to bring anything!"

Makoto dropped off her cantaloupe next to Akira's apples, before she began rummaging through your kitchen drawers. "You're one of us, so of course we're bringing something as a get well gift. Can I borrow a knife, by the way?" Seeing as she already had her hand around the handle, you could only agree and let her start washing and hacking away at the fruit. That gave you another fresh wave of embarrassment, so you busied yourself with looking at everyone else's fruit of choice. 

A bunch of bananas from Futaba who managed to pick out the smallest looking bunch you had seen. A single dragonfruit from Yusuke, who looked more interested in the aesthetic appeal than any potential taste. Ann's bundle of grapes, of which the discount sticker could not be hidden properly. Then Haru, who toted a box of delicate white strawberries like it was no more of a deal than the other fruit brought to you. 

You had already deducted what had happened. They probably all went to the supermarket together, each grabbed a different kind of fruit, and then came along Haru who had purchased actual fruit meant for gift giving. Meanwhile your hawk eyes already spotted the discount stickers and the bruising on a few of the fruits, but as they were only high schoolers you could turn a blind eye to the flaws in their gifts. 

Makoto had already worked her way through the splendid feat of fruits as you ushered the Phantom Thieves to take a seat and catch you up on the past few days. It didn't escape your notice how Akechi took a seat far away and Akira took a seat right next to him. Akechi glared and Akira smiled and if you weren't already put to ease by Akira's heartfelt thanks after you woke up from your bullet wound, you were completely sure of your decision now. 

Akechi could still be upset at Akira, and Akira could be the recipient of his anger. This was the way things ought to have been. "Thank you so much, you guys, seriously." 

"Well, Haru's the only one who brought actual fruit for gifting, so..." Ryuji, sheepish, rubbed at the back of his head the same way he always did. In some ways you thought of Akihiko, and in other ways you didn't. "But you focus on getting better first! We're gonna need your help in Mementos."

"And Akechi's," added Akira, and for a moment the room seemed to freeze over as just about everyone pondered the ramifications of bringing along someone who basically confessed to murder the other day along. 

Akechi, who was just as aware as everyone else, was the first to reject the idea. "Why should I be helping you guys?" he asked, indignant and self righteous and, you hoped, a little bit guilty too. You weren't the only one hoping, because Akira's reply followed not too soon after. 

He said, "You're helping now, aren't you?" Everyone else seemed to mind except for him. Everyone else was well aware of the kind of things Akechi did up until now, of course, and ignored it for the sake of the greater pressing issue. But Akira and you, the two of you were cut from a similar cloth and stitched into different forms. In your heart, you wanted to call your magnanimity towards Akechi a kindness; but it was more selfishness.

Akira was a kind person, make no mistake, but he was always a selfish child. Someone who liked Akechi so much all that he had done wrong in the past meant little to him now. And the Phantom Thieves were kind children, but without that same selfish love, they couldn't feel the same. "I'm looking forward to working with you again," Akira added, and the recipient of his kindness only frowned but said no more.

So you ate your fruit. You said your pleasantries. You bade them goodbye and at least attempted to walk them to the door before just about everyone forced you to sit back down and not tear any of your stitches. When they finally closed the door behind them you stared at Akechi, who was able to handle five minutes of your pointed stare before he gave in.

"You need something?" he all but grumbled, evidentially not having any outward pity for the person who took a bullet for him. 

"If you don't want to join the others in Mementos, I can help you," you offered him. "Obviously the things you did should be repaid in due time, but if it makes you that uncomfortable, you don't have to join the Phantom Thieves again."

Perhaps your intentions were a little too clear, because he seemed not the slightest bit touched by your declaration. "You don't think it's humiliating enough to receive your idea of charity? I know you're asking me to stay not because you need help, but because you want me to feel needed."

"Well, and a little help too," you insisted.

"Sure, like you don't have people lining up to kiss your feet." Despite his sharp tongue, he didn't seem as ready to stab you as you'd imagine him to be. More tired than upset; more upset than angered. "Make no mistake, I'm not doing this because I like you."

Because you still feel guilty someone took the brunt of your karma, he implied and you thought. Because, Akechi, you think you're a discarded shell of a person with only revenge to live for, but someone's selfish love for you is the only thing keeping you alive. 

It must feel so burdensome. It must feel so demeaning. "You must really dislike me," you said out loud, and took his ensuing silence as a confirmation. You didn't have his debasing childhood and blood-for-blood relationships; you had people who cared for you and always wanted the best for you. He grew up replacing guilt with a thirst for vengeance, and you grew up with nothing but guilt running through your veins. 

The next visitor no longer came as a surprise for Akechi, who opened the door casually for Akihiko and Fuuka. Fuuka was already explaining her situation as she slipped her shoes off at the door and came bearing her present—"Akihiko and I decided to come by together, and I brought you some candy"—carrying it over to where you were, where she started taking everything out to explain to you. "I don't really eat candy, so I got a lot of different kinds. Akihiko brought a lot of supplements, so I thought I'd get something to help balance it out!" 

Sure enough, Akihiko revealed his own bag filled with vitamins and supplements that went above and beyond what you needed. You had to remind them multiple times you could still walk and eat mostly as normal, but they didn't seem to believe you all the same. "And if you have to pay us back, which you don't, then at least wait until you're recovered, okay?" Fuuka put her hands on her hips confidently, and seeing her like that, you had no choice but to solemnly agree.

You had hardly a moment of silence after their departure when Shinjiro came by with lunch and dinner both, and then Sae with dessert from a newly opened bakery. Shinjiro had been awfully nonchalant about his appearance and Sae had been equally disaffected; or she would have succeeded in being so, but the sight of Akechi made her eyebrows twitch something awful. 

Shinjiro, when he came by, was all business. It was all, "These are for lunch, and these are for dinner. The containers are microwave safe, so don't get some silly idea about getting up to reheat these things and tearing up that wound." Then he proceeded to lecture you as you listened half-intently from your spot on the couch, until he finally finished packing dinner in the fridge and unpacking lunch on the table, beckoning you over to eat.

He waited until you had a bite of rice before he added, "Those idiots wouldn't stop texting the groupchat, so tell them when you're feeling fine."

You chewed and swallowed your bite as fast as you could, jerking your head towards him. "The groupchat's been silent, though?"

"The one without you," he said without much consideration or care. "Don't eat too fast or you'll choke."

"They really do have a groupchat without me?"

Shinjiro scoffed. "I thought you already knew. Anyway, I need to go." He gave a curt nod in Akechi's direction. "Keep an eye on her." That was how he departed, leaving nothing but warm food and a sinking realization that eventually you'd have to confront one of your friends about this groupchat they had without you. 

Sae was less professional, but still remarkably formal regardless. She came by with cake and downplayed just how popular the bakery was and just how short the line was, which you had believed until you looked it up after she left and discovered just how exclusive and expensive the bakery was. 

But she had been so nonchalant when she brought you the cake, saying, "I heard from Makoto you've got...Akechi with you, so I got two slices. Incidentally, how are you feeling? You haven't exerted yourself today, have you?"

"I have Akechi here to protect me!" you declared to her, giving Akechi a warm and receptive nod which he curtly ignored. And Sae didn't seem impressed with your bodyguard either.

She was so unimpressed, in fact, she said, "Well, if he fails to live up to expectations, let me know. At the very least you can come stay with me and Makoto until things get sorted out."

"Oh, no, no, I couldn't. But thank you for offering!" From gifts to meals to well wishes, and now Sae's offer of living with her for a while, you really were drowning in affection. You appreciated it, but you also hated it, and thinking of how Akechi was off in the corner watching you be loved, you only hated it more. You were only down with a flesh wound, but the love that was given to you felt suffocating.

So you let Sae go too, knowing that eventually the rest of SEES would show up on your door as promised. Which they did, in fact, do the next day before you could figure out what to do for breakfast. Just as you were about to start digging through the fridge the doorbell rang once, clearly. You moved to the door slowly and carefully seeing as Akechi was still in the bathroom and unable to attend to your every need, but your sluggish moves caused two more rings to the doorbell.

As you approached the door you could hear a familiar voice reproaching another. "I'm sure she heard it the first time."

"But if she didn't, isn't it fine to just ring a couple more times?"

You swung the door open. "I heard it the first time, Junpei. But it's so good to see you guys! Come in, come in. I don't think I have any dog food, but—"

Aigis raised her hand, and you saw yet more paper bags. "We took the liberty of grabbing breakfast," she informed you. "Have you eaten yet?"

"Perfect timing, I haven't! Let me go get Akechi for you and we can sit down and catch up too." Taking advantage of the more lax nature of this group, you tried to snatch the paper bags from Aigis so you could start pulling your own weight, only to have her firmly pull her arm away as Junpei and Ken grabbed you. 

Koromaru barked up at you, and you could already hear the scolding in his bark. "He says to take a break," Aigis informed you. "We are also very aware that you're still recovering." So they had already been informed, no doubt in that secret groupchat they excluded you from. You had no choice but to be escorted to your seat by Junpei as Ken went to fetch Akechi.

It certainly was an interesting group, a melting pot made up of a mishmash of personalities. Ken had greatly matured in the years you had been away from home, and it was strange to see him around Akechi's age now. Their heights were similar, they each held their own in conversation, and it made you think a little about the past when there were lulls in the conversation.

When they were ready to leave, Junpei clapped a hand on Ken's back at the doorway. "He's really grown, hasn't he?" he asked gleefully. "Almost can't believe you used to be that little pipsqueak!"

"And now I'm taller than you." Seeing him this tall and mature was still hard to stomach, even though you saw his face regularly in the pictures sent to the main groupchat. "But please take your time recovering. We'll be in touch."

"Koromaru says to lock the door too," Aigis added. But of course, Koromaru was always the most mature and sensible of them all, so you risked opening up your wound to lean down and give him a few good pets.

And finally, your last visitor. As the hours approached lunchtime and you began thinking about how to procure the next meal in a way that wouldn't earn the ire of the people who loved you, the doorbell rang for the last time. 

Having already grown tired of his faux chivalry, you all but pushed Akechi aside to get to the door yourself. With one hand you swung your door wide open, ready to see who would come find you at lunchtime when all of SEES and all of the Phantom Thieves had already come by, only to stop dead in your tracks. 

"Did you have lunch yet?" asked Narukami Yu, and you struggled to remember if you ever mentioned to him your unfortunate accident before he answered your question for you. "And I heard from Rise, who heard from Takeba. I'm honestly hurt you didn't say anything."

With a glare more bark than bite, you reluctantly let him come inside. Your eyes fell to the bag of groceries he carried with him, but you didn't bring it up. "Shouldn't you be focusing on exams or something, university boy? You're set to graduate this year."

"Like that's hard?" A little of a laugh echoed in his words, even as his face stayed in the same neutral smile. He made his way to your kitchen without a second thought, and you had to tug him back for a moment. "What's up?"

"Say hi to Akechi first. Akechi, this is my..."

"Cousin."

"...friend. How old is that joke?" You gave him a friendly whack over the head. "It's already been five years! But ignore him. Half the stuff he says is just to get a reaction out of you."

Yu gave a shrug. "And you're that Detective Prince," he commented, while you shot him a warning glance. Unfazed, he continued, "You know, my friend is a Detective Prince too."

Akechi's expression didn't so much as shift, and though you probably shouldn't have been, you found yourself interested in this faceoff. Akechi Goro, beloved antagonist wild card versus Narukami Yu, the only one left who could understand the concept of fate. It seemed almost unfair, now that you thought about clearly.

Still, just a little, you rooted for Akechi. "Is that so?" he asked calmly, as if it was no concern to him. It might not have been, to the him who didn't understand Yu like you did. "What a coincidence."

Yu watched him placidly, and for someone cheering for Akechi, you still found it in you to be a little disappointed. Where was the thrilling battle of wits? When would they start clashing on half-statements and half-truths? "We'll leave it at that, then," he concluded, and then turned to you with a bright smile. "Nee-san, I'm thinking of omurice for lunch today. What do you think?"

Your reaction to that was to raise your hackles on instinct. "One, don't call me nee-san. Two, that sounds good. Make it extra tasty for your new friend here." You gave Akechi a friendly wave which he refused to return, even though the two of you were meant to be bonding during this tedious recovery period. 

"Alright, I can do that." As Yu dipped into your kitchen and began fiddling with everything, you beckoned Akechi to come take a seat with you. Now that you had someone to do all the work for you, all that remained was to kick back and relax. You had to recover as soon as possible so you could get to repaying everyone's kindness—a little because of the guilt, but there was another greater part of you that wanted to return the favor because you cared about these people.

"Despite his smart mouth, he's really good at cooking," you assured Akechi.

Unimpressed, he said, "So are you going to freeload off people for the rest of this week?"

That little part of you guilty about their kindness and effort grew a little more, but you tried to keep those thoughts at bay. "You're benefiting too, right? We're both freeloaders in that case."

"Don't get me mixed up with you. If you incur any debt, that's your friends." 

"Ah, and you're just an accidental victim of all this goodwill?" That was fine too. A kid like him could stand to receive some goodwill, but you hoped that one day he'd be at the center of it rather than at the periphery. "Don't worry, I'll take care of everything. You focus on taking care of me, okay?"

He let out a quiet huff at you, but didn't speak. Contented with his reluctant answer, you let the space between the two of you lapse into silence. You closed your eyes and listened to Yu in the background. When you focused long enough it almost felt like you were at his house again; and even further back, like you were back in the Iwatodai dorms again, listening to Shinjiro cook. Yes, you could hear it now. The others were speaking in the background, watching television, studying for class, and in the midst of it all Minato hovered in the space between here and then; between your present and your past.

Chapter Text

It was one month into your new life as a student at Gekkokan High, but the disbelief towards your circumstances had not yet fully dissipated. There was still a part of you that expected to be back in the real world, whatever that meant, and not in a dorm owned by SEES. 

Expected, but that was never fulfilled. It was funny how even after the shadow at the monorail, after your adjustment to going to a school in a small port island, you couldn't quite shake off that sense of unreality which permeated your thoughts like a particularly pesky disease. Like a dog that had clamped down on a bone and refused to let go, but in this case the bone was a life slowly starting to slip away. 

But, well, what could you do? You were already starting to love your peers, your friends, and dare you say it, your beloved protagonist. Beloved. Beloved! He was the apple of your eye, which was unfortunate because you were trying to make it not so apparent. Well, you thought you were doing your best. No one said anything to you about it, which you took to be a sign of your success.

It was one of the slower days at Gekkokan High, where the topics being lectured you were already familiar enough with. And when you weren't, you were fully confident in your ability to talk one of your dormmates into explaining for you. Even Junpei pulled his weight in explaining basic Japanese history—what, we've learned this since primary school—making you much more lax towards paying attention in class.

The wind turbines spun at their own pace outside the windows, far off in the distance, and your eyes closed for a few seconds too long as the sound of the lecture faded away in the back. The season for cherry blossoms was slowly coming to an end, and the last of the petals were settling from the tree boughs to the floor, where they would eventually be trampled afoot by the traffic pushing out of the school. 

How strange. You were having this strong sense of nostalgia, even though you were still new to this world. The pressed uniform you wore had grown familiar atop your skin, and the tightness around your mouth when your thoughts strayed, momentarily, to thoughts of graduation day had become almost second nature. But this world, which felt like a dream, did not force you to dig out the roots of these feelings. You felt them and let them pass, eyes turning from the window to Minato, who did his due diligence in taking sparse notes.

In the month you had been here, you were privy to his notes once or twice. He took them rarely, but he still scored well on all the tests passed around. You were making your way up there, but you could hardly hold a candle to him. Your eyes dug holes into the back of his head, and sure enough he tilted his head just enough to meet your eyes with his placid ones.

Even being caught, you only grinned back at him and offered a small wave. Hi, you mouthed, giddy just to be seen. 

He returned his own nod of acknowledgement, slight enough so that the only two who were involved could be you and him. Hi, he mouthed back, with the kind of patience and responsiveness you could hardly expect from someone whose personality was supposed to be all I don't care and whatever. But a month later, you had come to crave his willingness to go along with you. 

Given your inability to read lips, you decided to save any more conversation for later. Already you were energized just by the thought, and the lecture passed even slower thanks to your anticipation. Eventually you were inspired to start taking notes too, and preoccupied with learning as any good student did, class eventually came to an end. 

You waved goodbye to your classmates, who were all growing rather familiar with you, greeting the ones you knew more than others. Your notebooks and papers would go into your school bag, shoved so that they could fit, and then you were all done with packing up. Your gaze turned the classroom upside down to see if the object of your wholly platonic, wholly pure adoration was still there. It turned out you hardly needed to search far, because he was still seated at his desk and contentedly listening to music.

Down the hall, the voices of your classmates faded as they moved down the stairs. You took a few careful steps in Minato's direction, and when he didn't budge, hurried over and casually pulled out a chair to sit across from him at his desk. You leaned down so you could peer at his face, which was angled towards the table. "What're you listening to?"

He raised his head to properly meet your eyes, and you stared back in wonder for a moment. He didn't hold himself like a student. He held himself like a protagonist, and the slight expectation for him to shy away from your gaze faded away as he continued to meet your eyes without much trouble. There was so much you could say about him, wax poetry on his effortless beauty or the charm of the slight dishevel which made him look all the more attractive—but that was neither here nor there, and you were simply getting a look at this world's hero. 

He unhooked one of his headphones to pass to you, and you took it carefully, pressing it to your ear to get a listen at whatever had captured his attention so thoroughly. A crooning female voice rang in your ear, singing of something you vaguely registered as white lightning. The familiarity of the song struck you, and for a moment you spun your finger around in circles trying to place just why.

"This is that one band, that band..." The name was almost in mind, just a few words away from becoming clear to you. "School... Cafeteria... Punishment?"

"School Food Punishment?"

"Right!" You were very much excited by having a topic in similarity, even if your knowledge of said band was next to nothing. "They did that one song for that one anime, do you know it?" Without waiting for a response you hummed a little bit, caught up in trying to remember the complex melody. He shook his head a little and you deflated in your seat, still clinging onto half of his headphones. "It's about this detective who gets belittled by the public, but—" Your words stopped in your mouth as you thought further about the subject.

Minato watched as your face twisted a little, and you recalled very distinctly that said anime you were vaguely aware of came out in 2011. There would be no way to talk yourself out of such a blunder, so you cleared your throat and prepared to talk yourself out of this pit. "Oh, nevermind. I must be thinking about a different band." You twisted your fingers together after that, waiting a good moment so you didn't seem too eager to change the topic. When all was clear, you proceeded to do just that. "Anyways, I like your taste in music! And since we're—we're basically life and death companions, since we fight shadows together—should we head back together?" You peeked at him carefully, so he wouldn't see just how eager you were.

He said, "Okay." Given the brevity of his words and the way you were hanging onto them, he added, "That'd be nice." You all but leapt to your feet, headphone cord tugged by your movement, ready to embark on a new journey. One month into this new world and the way back home was still just as mystifying as it was the first time Yukari showed you back home. But Minato was always so adept at finding his way back, given how you'd always see him in the dorm before you.

Your footsteps were lighter than air as you practically floated down the street, buoyant with excitement. Every few steps you peeked at Minato beside you, whose slight slouch would straighten up almost imperceptibly with your every glance. This was nice, walking back with your friend. You'd have to get Junpei and Yukari to join you next time. And then the four of you would be such good friends, and soon you'd have Fuuka along, and then—and then you'd all be friends. Right? That was it.

What else? You had this little momentary lapse, this little pause, this little—something nagging at you, a reminder you couldn't quite recall. While you were all preoccupied with friendship simulator, wasn't the whole point of the narrative something else?

"Are you ready for the next shadow next month?" you abruptly asked, this time turning your head so you could firmly watch Minato. As was polite for anyone holding a conversation, really. He turned to look at you, eyes fluttering closed for a moment as if he were pondering the idea of it. 

"I am," he finally declared. Huh. Either he was being brave in front of you, or he truly was prepared. It felt like the latter. Someone as smart and perfect as he was didn't need to fake being brave. You were thinking about if you yourself were ready before a hand shot out to grab your arm. You stopped in your tracks and noticed the streetlamp pole right before you. 

You shuffled around it. "Thank you very much," you told him very seriously, knowing he had saved you from a minor concussion at the very least. "Where would I be without you?"

He smiled, all humble and kind. "You'd be fine."

"I'd be concussed and bruised," you declared to him, seeing an in. You'd worm through that polite defense of his in no time. Gone were those fleeting thoughts of missing something, replaced by that same excitement. You walked along the protagonist and befriended people you never thought you'd meet. Wasn't that enough cause for celebration? "You saved my life," you emphasized and exaggerated all the same, grinning wide. "My hero."

"You should be more careful," he offered, but it was with great kindness. You could tell. 

"But I have you." You were brimming with confidence. "As long as you're there, I won't get any concussions. You'll protect me, won't you?"

His pace was still steady, and you trailed after him in search of his words. "I will," he assured you, and you couldn't help but beam back up at him. He was kind, intensely so. He was wonderful. You had no end to the amount of compliments you wanted to pay him for the matter, but you had the sense to hold your tongue anyways.

Yes, he was that kind of person. Sweet, charming in his sincerity even if it were not readily apparent. You knew what kind of person he was because you had played him, once upon a time, but seeing him in person now was different. You felt bonded to him in some ways, as the viewer of his story. As the player. Together, the two of you had traversed the shadows and Nyx to a future that—

You stopped in your tracks, and seeing you freeze, Minato stopped for you as well. Nyx, what was after Nyx? You knew the answer. Ha. The Answer was the answer. But though you were very much aware of what your instincts were spelling out for you, you didn't want to accept it.

This world was like a dream—could you still say that? It felt harder and harder to say so. It felt like a constriction around the neck, something dooming and yet deeply connecting all the same. You didn't want to think further. You didn't want to understand the pieces of the puzzle coming together.

"Are you okay?" Minato, concern across his features, stepped in front of you. 

Your mouth went dry at the sight of his face, but you forced yourself to swallow anyways. "Yeah. I'm okay." You smiled, even with the tightness around your mouth. If Minato noticed anything off about you, he gave no indication. He would not for a very, very long time, and it would be months and years into the future where one day you'd come to find that he had always known, but spoke not a word for your sake. But today was not that day, and you were perfectly content in diverting the conversation once more as the two of you made your way back home.

The two of you burst into the living room. Yukari sat on the couch, texting something on her phone, and Junpei sat beside her, watching the television. "Welcome back," Yukari called first, looking up from her phone to give you a small smile and Minato a small nod. "You made your way back on time today."

"Obviously 'cause she has a good guide." Junpei angled his chin towards Minato. "Run into any poles on the way?"

If this were a route you had to take on your own, there would be a very different answer. Luckily you had been saved from certain injury and concussion by the hero beside you, and you proudly shook your head with your hands crossed arrogantly. "Of course not!" you declared. "Not even close."

"Right." Junpei was not convinced, but he was out to get you, so you ignored him. You took a seat by Yukari and gestured for Minato to come with you. "What're you watching?" you asked Junpei. 

"Sports, what else?" Something with baseball, that was all you got. Immediately bored, you struck up a conversation between Yukari and Minato instead. More accurately, you spoke with Yukari and had Minato chime in once in a while. Eventually dinnertime arrived, and you went with Yukari to get some ramen as the other two split off to do their own thing. 

Luckily, in the month you had been here you had begun winning Yukari over. She helped you with homework, subtly coached you in proper behavior in your daily life, and would walk you to and from school on some days. She was also the one you counted on to help tie your uniform ribbon in the morning, and she did it without even your prompting now. In a world you were still coming to terms with, she was the one who kept you grounded. 

Her and Minato, but he made you feel ungrounded and flighty. And Junpei, and the upperclassmen, and to be honest, everyone. You were on the receiving end of so much kindness it made your teeth ache. "Yukari," you called, across the bowls of ramen, "I'm really glad you're my friend."

She paused, chopsticks still held aloft. "What brought this on?" she grumbled, looking away for a moment. She didn't face you, but still, you heard her quietly say, "I'm glad we're friends too."

"You're so nice to me, Yukari," you emphasized. "I know you're busy with school and club and shadow stuff, but you still make time for helping me with homework. And hanging out with me." Your thoughts strayed to the other two first years who had been instrumental in helping you catch up to speed in class. "And Minato and Junpei too, actually. I'm glad it was you guys who I met."

Yukari had finally turned back, looking a little disgruntled. Not that you would know why; the inner thoughts of Yukari infrequently availed themselves to you. "I don't know what you see in Iori," she grumbled. "Arisato, I understand. But Iori?"

"He's nice to me," you said. "And he was telling me about all those historical figures." Nevermind the fact that you knew most of them from Ikemen Sengoku, Junpei was rather good at boiling down all those names into a few key achievements you needed to know. It was in times of cramming where slackers like Junpei were most helpful; he knew just enough to confirm for you what would be tested on. 

"I could've told you about them." Yukari paused. "Or Arisato. I've never see anyone else score full marks on every single exam."

"He's amazing, isn't he?" Any praise directed towards your protagonist was directed towards you, in a sense, and you happily accepted all compliments on his behalf. Yukari, however, must've not understood your perspective, because she narrowed her eyes all sleuth-like. 

She said, "You wouldn't happen to, you know, towards him..." You blinked at her. "Have feelings for..."

All at once, the accusation struck you silly. "What? No!" Your cheeks burned and you shook your head fiercely. "No, not like that! I, what is it—I admire him! Yes, that. Who wouldn't admire someone so perfect?"

"I mean, I think he's cool, but definitely not as much as you do." Yukari's look was pointed, but you could hardly accept this train of events. "I'm not saying you definitely have a crush on him, but at least think about it."

You swallowed up the rest of your complaints and refutals and nodded slowly. "Okay," you told her, "I'll think about it."

She nodded too, pleased with your obedience. "I wouldn't say something like that if I wasn't at least sure about it. Anyways"—she set her chopsticks down—"I'm done eating. Should we go back and start on your composition homework?" 

Your face twisted in all sorts of ways, but be it far from you to disagree. "Yes, Yukari..." you begrudgingly agreed, pulling out enough money for your share. But the sour mood of having to acquiesce to doing homework soon gave way to the joys of chatting with Yukari, and you were already pumped up by the time you got back. Indeed, one of your most impressive traits was the shift in thought that could bring you from one topic to the next without preamble nor lingering. 

Arguably, it was your worst trait too. Because just like the thought of what fate would befall Minato after Nyx, the thought of what exactly you felt for him would only come back to mind long after it should have been thought through. 

Case in point: weeks later, you would be in the room of the illustrious, esteemed Minato Arisato, clutching a textbook to your chest. Yukari had convinced him on your behalf to at least run you through the basics of Japanese classic literature, though she had been quick to assure you he would've done so even without her prompting. So now you were sitting with him at a desk on the floor as he walked you through the excerpts assigned in class. 

Rather than appreciate fine Japanese literature being explained for you, you focused instead on making beautiful memories with a beautiful individual. "You know, I'm not used to not being assigned a novel to read. I know in America they usually give one work to read through. Sometimes multiple." With his attention successfully gathered, you continued. "I think because they really care about analyzing the work as a whole, especially thematically. But so far we've only read parts of stories here."

Minato nodded, but added, "A lot of us are already familiar with the works." He tapped a pencil against the page of the textbook where a piece of No Longer Human was printed. "Dazai is very well known. We usually do Run, Melos! around middle school or junior high."

"Ah." You thought about it for a moment. "That's the one where the guy forces his friend to take his place so he can make it to his sister's wedding, only to almost get his friend killed by being late." You knew just enough about that story to understand the gist of it. Melos, who offered up his friend Selinuntius without permission to take his place as he wandered off to his sister's wedding. Melos, who put his own friend on the chopping block, hardly making it back in time to spare Selinuntius from the execution meant for himself. And Melos, whose return somehow constituted a friendship beautiful enough to spare him from the consequences of attempted regicide. 

Minato smiled wryly, small as it was, and you hung onto that uptick of his lips with bated breath. "You're not wrong. But it's taught more in line with the themes of friendship. Even knowing he'd die, Melos still returned to spare his friend."

"He shouldn't have even offered his friend in the first place," you muttered. How unfair it was, to have another sent to death in your place. But there was no point dwelling in such thoughts, was there? So you tried again to bring the conversation back to something more uplifting. "In America, the specific short story depends on the teacher, but I think A Sound of Thunder is pretty well known." 

He gave you a slight nod of the head. "What is it about?"

Never one to shy away from listening to your own voice, you launched into a brief summary. "In a future where time machines can be used to hunt down dinosaurs, one man steps off the road he's meant to follow to ensure nothing is changed in the past. He steps on a butterfly and when the group returns to the present, its become different. The man pleads to go back in time but they can't. So to undo the damage he's done, the expedition leader takes his gun and..." You lifted a finger gun, index pointed at Minato as you playfully shut one eye in an approximation of a marksman's stance. "...bang! Or, as the story goes, a sound of thunder. And if we're talking about themes, hmm... Little things can cause great changes and the past can't be changed, maybe?" 

Little by little, the stories of your past sparked through your mind. You couldn't help it; with such a captive audience, you just had to show off. "There's also The Scarlet Ibis; pride can be both the thing that brings life or ends it. Or The Ones Who Walk Away From Omelas; happiness cannot exist without suffering. To Build a Fire; man cannot contend with nature." There was that same nagging thought, again, and you swallowed before you added your last short story. "And...A Rose For Emily; the futility of hanging onto the past."

Minato had listened carefully, every word memorized. Because he had always been so kind, cared so much, but now you were starting to feel the consequences of indulging in such kindness. From the death of a loved one in The Scarlet Ibis to the scapegoat of The Ones Who Walk Away From Omelas; how could you stay so ignorant to the truth these words had highlighted on a whim?

All at once you felt the waves of regret crashing over your head as each piece slid into place and you recalled, once and for all, what was to come after Nyx. The shadows were not meant to be destroyed one by one, loosening the seals on Nyx as SEES foolishly plowed ahead. What had you done? In the month you spent half-heartedly wandering through Tatsumi Island, how had this fact not come to you?

Your eyes jerked up to meet Minato's, and you felt deep shame to see his calm, placid ones looking back at you with no hint of blame. Right, why would he? He surely had no clue what was to come, but you knew all too well. You understood more than anyone else the horrible future that awaited at the end of this journey, and you couldn't help but to sink in despair. 

"Minato," you said, voice a meagre imitation of what it once was just moments earlier. "The...the full moon operations, I think we should... I was thinking we should, maybe, stop doing..." And how could you even explain this? How could you tell him, Minato, the truth is I'm from a reality outside of this narrative and I know what's to come and I don't want to be complicit in your death. I don't want to see that happen. Won't you believe me?

Minato, oh, Minato, what happens now? What can I even do? How can I save you? How can I help you? "I know it's going to sound hard to believe," you said again, "but I don't think we should continue—"

And, for some reason, he stopped you. Not by interjecting, because he was too polite for that, but through a brief smile that cracked upon his face. You found yourself stopped by the sheer beauty of it; not just in a smile for smiling's sake, but in the whirlwind of resignation and futility that cut across his expression. "We read this in middle school," he said, every word carrying its own weight, "Night on the Galactic Railroad. Devote your life to others and pursue your own happiness."

There was an implication, you were sure, behind those words. There was a pointed way in which he spoke, eyes never leaving yours, words hanging in the silence. It would take you a while to fully understand. In the moment, though, you could only look from him to your hands, which lay on the table. 

"Let's not keep your homework waiting," Minato added in a quiet voice. You were thinking of his death; how could you work on homework? But, ah, love was love, wasn't it? And if he asked it of you, you would do whatever you could to fulfill it. Homework it was. Japanese literature it was. It was a loss you had to accept; it was a concession only he could force out of you.

He would be your scarlet ibis; your reason to leave Omelas; the endless snowfield that would drown you; the rose given to you; and he would be the sound of thunder in your ears, that which doomed the rest of your life to save the world.