Chapter Text
Shadow wakes up to a familiar hand on his head and the crackling lights of an unfamiliar room. There's a fireplace. Who the hell does he know that owns a fireplace?
Someone is talking. A small child, their voice vaguely familiar but tinged with a strange accent. "-how is he awake, he shouldn't-"
"I'm not sure. No fever, though," says the second person, the one with their hand on his head. Their accent matches the first. They lean in, voice soft, but not exactly… kind. "Hey. Go back to sleep, you're beaten to hell."
"...Sonic?" Shadow asks sleepily. His vision is blurry with exhaustion, but the scent is correct: fresh air and foliage.
Sonic pauses. The silence feels damning, somehow, but Shadow isn't sure why. "What, you heard of me or something?"
"What the hell are you talking about," Shadow mumbles, barely intelligible enough to be considered a response. He's not used to Sonic sounding so... detached.
"Okay, maybe not," Sonic mutters.
Shadow blinks a couple times. The room does not get any clearer. His head is pounding. "Why are you talking like that?"
"Like what?" Sonic asks, drawing the words out until he's pronouncing it "like wot."
"Like that," Shadow repeats, but his words are slurring together and he can tell by the darkness encroaching at the edge of his vision that he's moments away from unconsciousness. "All… elongated. I told you to stop pranking me, hedgehog."
"I- what? Mate, I've never met you before in my life."
Alarm pieces the haze, but it's not enough to keep him awake. Oh gods. Not again. Shadow's had enough amnesia to last himself a lifetime. He really doesn't want to experience it from the other side.
He blacks out.
----
Waking up sucks. For a variety of reasons.
The first reason is that Sonic immediately says, distrustful and vaguely annoyed, "You're awake already? Weird. Well, now you can tell me who you are and why you were in the special zone."
The second reason is that Sonic's still speaking in an accent.
The third reason is that Shadow's rings are pulsing with an otherworldly energy, sparks of darkness spinning off into the air. Shadow can feel it in his veins, thrumming down into his fingertips. It doesn't hurt, the way chaos does, but it doesn't feel right, either.
Shadow spends about two seconds contemplating a way to get Sonic to believe the 'amnesia' thing, when a little fox walks into the room.
"Hey, Sonic! Find anything out yet?"
Sonic freezes, and Shadow catches the smallest hint of fear before the hedgehog smothers it with annoyance. He stands up and darts over to the little fox, ushering them out of the room. "Dang it, Tails, I told you to stay put-"
"Tails?" Shadow blurts out, staring at the kid. He guesses he can see the resemblance now, if Tails were about five years younger.
"Hi," chirps the kid, waving at him, and- yup, there are definitely two tails there.
Shadow continues to stare, switching back to Sonic.
Sonic doesn't have the right scars. There's none on his wrists or ears, but plenty on his legs, and his shoes aren't the same shade of red.
"...full name Miles Prower?"
Sonic steps in front of Tails, shoving them behind himself. "Who are you?" Any trace of friendliness vanishes in a second. There's cold steel in his eyes.
"Your- your middle name's Maurice," Shadow says instead of answering. He leans his head back onto the edge of the couch and stares up at the ceiling. He's banking a lot on the hope of universal constants. "You were nonverbal when you were younger and your favorite drink is hot chocolate because your mother used to make it for you. You still blame yourself for her death."
Sonic lets his arm drop. Tails glances up at him for confirmation on those facts, but Sonic doesn't seem to notice. "How did you…"
"You're not my Sonic, are you?" Shadow says, trying not to sound offended by the truth. It has no reason to sting this much. "This isn't my universe."
All the aggression leaves Sonic's body. He's oddly trusting of such an absolutely insane statement. The only reason Shadow even has a guess is because of that mess with Sonic's younger self last year.
"Special zone," Sonic muses, thumbing at his nose. He's not looking at Shadow anymore, as if this situation doesn't concern him. "I was there the other day, that's where we found you. You must've gotten pulled in somehow. We've used them to travel before, but-"
Shadow rolls off the couch and onto his feet. "Send me back," he snarls, "now."
"Can't." Sonic looks unimpressed. Uncaring of the threat standing before him.
"Can't, or won't?" Shadow steps closer, raising a hand wreathed in light and dark. It's not his chaos energy, but it'll serve the same purpose for now.
He doesn't want to threaten Sonic. Any version of Sonic. But if he has exactly one way home, he will not let it slip through his fingers.
Sonic's gaze catches on his inhibitor, confused, but his voice is calm when he says, "Can't. I don't know how this happened, and I don't know how to send you back. Sorry, pal, but you're stranded."
Shadow stops, lets his hand drop. His throat feels funny.
"Anyone back home who might be looking for you? Maybe they can open a portal from there."
"I..." Shadow swallows. His eyes are burning. He looks down at the carpet, avoiding the two doppelgangers. "They'll look for me."
A portal, however… might be difficult. They would need the chaos emeralds, at the very least, and even then, they'd be guessing on how and where to open a- most likely- unstable wormhole.
Stranded. With a mistrustful stranger who wears his rival's face.
"I need a minute," Shadow says finally.
"Okay," Sonic says. It's the kindest he's sounded all day, which isn't saying a lot. "You can stay with us until I figure this out."
Shadow nods, not trusting his voice.
"Tails, stay here," Sonic orders lowly. Then he grabs Shadow's wrist and tugs him out of the room.
Normally, any stranger who dared to touch him would receive a bite for their troubles. But Shadow can't bring himself to end something that feels so familiar (even if it's rougher than his Sonic would ever be). He'll accept all the comfort he can get.
"What's your name, anyway?" Sonic asks as they enter a bedroom. It's dark. Shadow doesn't care enough to find a light switch.
"Shadow."
"Well, Shadow, stay put for a few days. I don't know what happened, but I'll fix it. Count on it."
The Sonic who is not Sonic shuts the door on him, and Shadow is left alone in the dark.
----
"Hey."
Shadow doesn't respond verbally, but tries to emanate 'don't fuck with me' vibes as strongly as he possibly can.
Eight days. He's been here eight. Fucking. Days.
It's passed in a blur, answering questions about what he remembers (nothing important), how he feels (none of their business), and what the rings are for (dispersing excess energy), among other unimportant things.
The worst part is, there's nothing to do. Shadow isn't trusted enough to join the fight against Robotnik (apparently being dragged in from another dimension, looking like an impersonator of their most well-known hero, and acting generally unfriendly doesn't inspire confidence. who knew?) and attempting to go against that rule might just end up getting him shot by someone who would otherwise be his ally.
Not that he isn't considering doing it anyway.
Sonic and the rest of the rebellion here, however, are attempting to find a "star pole," which might take a while, so they can enter a "special zone," whatever the hell that is. And even then, they don't seem to have a concrete plan to get Shadow home. Just run in and hope for the best.
(Sonic had mentioned something about the Chaotix, and a warp ring.
...Shadow owes the Chaotix a lot, but he's pretty sure this is outside their realm of expertise.)
Suffice it to say, Shadow's not in the happiest of moods.
The hedgehog who isn't Sonic (but laughs in his voice, runs with his speed) sits down next to Shadow anyway, kicking his legs out to hang off the balcony. He's sitting too close. Their hands brush.
Shadow should move over. This isn't his Sonic. Not the version that would grab Shadow's hand and make fun of him for blushing.
Shadow does not move over.
This isn't his Sonic, but it's as close as he's going to get, for now. Is that shitty, to use him as a replacement? Whatever. It's not like this Sonic ever has to know.
"Alright. This is awkward, but I've been wondering something," Sonic starts. He's not looking at Shadow, instead focusing up on the stars.
Often, Shadow wonders if the sky is truly different here, or if it's just his imagination. He wonders if there are planets out there that don't exist back at home. The constellations look the same, mostly, but the stars themselves shine in all the wrong colors.
He doesn't ask.
"I don't care," Shadow replies, crossing his arms. There's a chill in the air that he hadn't noticed before. "Leave me alone."
"Oh, sod off. Nobody's making you stay here," Sonic snaps. He's so easy to irritate. The real Sonic would have brushed past that comment with a smile. Maybe some light ribbing.
Shadow doesn't want to keep looking at him, so he doesn't. He glares out at the trees, instead. "You said you'd fix this."
"I did. I will."
"Whatever. Ask your question, hedgehog, if it means you'll leave."
Sonic hums. It almost sounds carefree, but there's an edge to it, cold and clinical in a way Sonic's never been. "See, that's my question. You really seem to hate me."
"Is that your question?"
"No. My question is," Sonic moves, lightning-quick, and snatches Shadow's wrist. Shadow's breath catches; he stares at Sonic like a deer in headlights. "If that's actually the case, why do you keep hanging around? If you hated me, you wouldn't stay."
Shadow doesn't respond. The hand around his wrist is warm, but not welcoming. It burns, weighs on his arm like a shackle.
(The worst part is, he knows Sonic has a point. Shadow finds himself leaning in when Sonic talks to him, relaxing slightly when he's in the room. He finds reasons to be in the same room, because even though it's not right, it's still something, and Shadow feels like he's losing his damn mind without any connections to home.
And Sonic noticed, of course. Any version of Sonic isn't an idiot, and he's nothing if not observant. He's fully capable of putting the pieces together.)
Sonic raises a brow. There's judgment in his eyes as he files away Shadow's reaction for later examination. "I have a theory. Want to hear it?"
Finally, finally, Shadow tears his arm away. Sonic lets him.
He gets to his feet, shaky in a way that has nothing to do with the cold. "Don't touch me," Shadow says, wishing his voice was steady enough to be threatening, "or I'll kill you."
Sonic laughs. It's too callous for any sense of familiarity. "Nah. You won't. It's because I look like him, right?"
It's unclear whether he's answering his own question or arguing with Shadow. Either way, it's not worth responding to.
Shadow starts to walk inside the house.
"Was he important to you?" Sonic calls after him.
Shadow flinches. "He is important to me," he replies, venom on his tongue. "And you are very lucky you remind me of him."
With that, he resumes walking. He doesn't look back, but he can feel the other Sonic's eyes on him, all the way until he's out of sight.
...
Sonic doesn't approach him again until the following morning.
Shadow is halfway through a book (they're very different here, there isn't a single author he recognizes), zoned out and trying his best not to think about anything except this very strange set of maps.
Can't disobey the rules without first knowing where you're headed, after all.
He may not be able to get himself home, but he can at least not be useless in the meantime. Sonic did have one good point, among all the other bullshit: there's no sense in staying here.
Shadow's just determined the two nearest areas- which, according to the notes scribbled in the margins, have long been under robotic control- when Not-Sonic comes along and slams both hands on the desk.
"So," the hedgehog announces loudly, in his usual annoying accent. "Seems like you're getting a little stir-crazy. And I've got enough death threats without you adding on."
Shadow glowers at him. "What, do you want me to be nicer to you?"
Sonic laughs. "Nah. Say whatever you want, 'cause I certainly will. But I was wondering if you'd like to burn off some of that energy."
He motions at Shadow's wrists, where power coils around his rings. It grew stronger during his first few days here, but seems to have plateaued since then. Probably nothing to worry about.
"One of our freedom fighters is out of commission for a few weeks," Sonic continues, still propping his palms on the desk. His face is slightly too close to Shadow's for comfort. "And I thought you might like to fill in. Pull your weight."
"Sure," Shadow finds himself saying, trying to sound for all the world like someone who wasn't about to go off-grid and fight robots by themself. "Why not."
----
Fighting here is… oddly fun.
This universe's version of Robotnik is viler than his own (seems to be a running theme), and the heroes' attitudes reflect that. They fight with a fury and a fear that Shadow rarely sees back home.
Shadow raises his hands and tears apart a robot with his bare claws and whatever power fills this world, a snarl on his lips as he frees the poor soul trapped inside.
By the look on the person's face, he must look absolutely unhinged.
He catches Sonic's eye, and the hedgehog grins. "Not bad for a copycat," Sonic calls out, then turns back to the fight.
Shadow smiles, and stops trying to maintain control.
(The energy here is tainted, but rises so easily to his fingertips. Like it wants to be released.
It would be so easy to give in and use it all. Unlike chaos, he doesn't think it would burn him alive from inside out. But he gets the feeling whatever does occur might be worse.
His rings keep any of that from happening, however. For all intents and purposes, Shadow has free reign.)
After the battle, he finds Sonic, who seems to be deep in thought but looks over as Shadow approaches.
"A few more missions this lovely and we should find a star post in no time," Sonic informs him. "Eggbreath's always tried to hoard them, but there's still a few left."
"I'm up for another round," Shadow says, and Sonic's answering smile is almost as good as the real thing. His heart is racing; he feels alive for the first time since he arrived here.
Sonic hesitates, then seems to come to a decision. He winks at Shadow, stretching both arms up behind his head. "I'm doing brilliant on my own, but if you wanna tag along, be my guest."
Shadow shrugs. "Someone needs to keep you safe. It might as well be me."
It's a sentiment he's voiced a thousand times. Almost a habitual phrase, at this point. He's just- never said it to this version of Sonic.
His own version might laugh, would definitely make a smart-ass comment about Shadow being a control freak. All while exaggerating his movements to hide any evidence of embarrassment. (Sonic never realized what an obvious tell that was.)
This version of Sonic simply stares at him, his ears pinning down. "I'm not… I don't need protection."
Shadow narrows his eyes. "You're as vulnerable as anyone else."
"No, that's- you-" Sonic exhales, runs his hands through his quills. "I can handle everything myself, I was just saying that if you want to fight-"
"I want to protect you," Shadow interrupts. It's cheating. He would go as far as to call it foul play. His Sonic always becomes flustered by such statements, every time, without fail.
Sure enough, Sonic stops talking. His mouth hangs open for a second before he shuts it with a soft pop.
"Is that okay?" Shadow asks, trying to convey through tone alone that if it isn't okay, Shadow will do it anyway.
Sonic makes a noise. It's almost a growl, almost a frustrated shriek. He spins on his heel and rushes off, leaving a blue streak in his wake.
Shadow snickers. Who says cheaters never prosper?
----
It's easy to fall into a routine.
Shadow follows Sonic into battle after battle. They haven't found a star post yet, but he can see a difference in the land around them, and that's nearly as good. Less robots, more people. It's a pleasant enough way to spend two months.
They don't go home- er, to Sonic's house- often anymore. Sonic seems to be getting antsier with each base they destroy without finding anything. So now they live on the road with the rest of the rebellion, stealing moments over campfires and between fights.
Spending more time with this Sonic should make it easier to distinguish between the two. This one is too bossy, and at times, outright mean.
But he also sits next to Shadow and tells stupid stories, ranting about anything and everything, gesturing wildly in the air. And when Shadow starts dozing off, Sonic leads him back to the tents and gently scolds him into sleeping.
It's not the same, but it isn't bad.
He still feels… uncomfortable around Sonic, and he thinks the hedgehog can tell, because he stops pushing quite so much.
He doesn't ask why Shadow wakes up hyperventilating some nights, and he doesn't ask why Shadow considers his presence calming enough to fall back to sleep.
They both know he's not the person Shadow wants.
Sonic doesn't seem to care much about being a replacement, though- if anything, it seems to make him calmer. Like knowing another Sonic took a chance on Shadow makes it okay for him to do the same.
And Sonic still stays on those bad nights. Still laughs at Shadow's dry comments and misunderstanding of social etiquette.
(Still pokes fun at things that the original Sonic never would have, like the self-inflicted claw marks mottling his legs, or his evil dads. But, somehow, he knows to draw the line at Shadow's dead sister and aversion to loud noises.)
This Sonic really isn't the same person. He's quieter. Less trusting. Aside from the speed and an inherent need to protect his friends, he's really proving the answer to the "nature versus nurture" question.
But he's a version of Sonic, which means Shadow will always care about him. Just a bit.
----
"So, what's the deal with you and Sonic?" Amy asks, plopping down on the wood panel beside him.
It was an impressive maneuver for one without super-speed; she ran up alongside the wagon and performed a handspring to flip herself off the ground. All without even a second of hesitation.
Shadow startles, too tired to hide it. "What?"
"I mean, your Sonic, obviously." When Shadow doesn't respond, she giggles, and adds, "You just seem to know ours pretty well. Got some prior experience?"
Shadow isn't certain what to make of this Amy. He likes her, sure. She's strong, and caring, just like the Amy from his world.
But she's also… manipulative. For example, this saccharine persona she's putting on right now: all hearts and butterflies and sugary sweet laughter. She wants something, even if it's just gossip.
It reminds him of Rouge, in a way.
"We were rivals," Shadow starts, staring off at the sagebrush. He's yet to grow accustomed to this slow form of travel. Wagons are fun, at first, until you've been sitting on one for hours and what you really want is for the sun to fucking set already. Unfortunately, they've got a big crew and- for some absurd reason- an entire A.I. to cart around. Traveling on foot won't cut it.
"And?" Amy prompts, elbowing him.
Shadow laughs tiredly. She's exactly like Rouge. "And… he taught me that I didn't have to be afraid. Showed me it was okay to open up and care about others."
Amy hums, tilting her head back to soak in the sun. "Sounds like he means a lot to you," she says finally. "Anyone else back home?"
"My roommates," Shadow says. "They're… my family. I guess." Amy smiles at him, so he adds, "One of them, my sister… she's a lot like you. Efficient. Cunning."
(And an absolute dork, if he happens to stumble upon a topic she's passionate about, but Shadow's not close enough to this Amy to chance making the comparison.)
"Oh?" Amy's full-on grinning. Whatever she wanted, she must've gotten it by now.
"Yes," Shadow says. "Once, she told me a mutual friend of ours was on the run from the government again, just to see if I would fight the police for him. We almost got arrested."
"Again?" Amy echoes, and suddenly Shadow's retelling a story he doesn't remember experiencing.
He gets to the section with Rouge, when she conned Eggman (and him) without even trying, and the urge to smile is only rivaled by the urge to drive his claws past his ribcage and rip the pain out of his chest.
Normal family stuff, probably.
Halfway through the story, Amy pulls her crossbow from her quills, unfastening the string so she can clean the spring mechanism.
By the time Shadow's finished, she's moved onto her crossbow bolts, inspecting and sharpening as needed.
"You really love them all," Amy says, matter-of-fact.
Shadow feels his face heat up. He draws his knees to his chest, glaring down at the road as it rolls by.
Amy waves her hands, dropping her weapons into her lap. "Sorry, didn't mean to embarrass you, it's just- you're not the kind of person I thought you were. I'm… sorta glad you're here."
Shadow frowns. "Why?"
"Because we needed someone like you," Amy says instantly. "It's been a long time since I've seen Sonic make an effort to connect to someone."
"Really?"
Amy nods, staring off into the middle distance. "Yeah. I'm not sure what you did, but… I'm happy he's happy."
Shadow watches her for a long moment. Her eyes are tired, but she's smiling. "Me too," he admits.
The sun is setting. Amy glances at him one more time, before turning her focus to the color-drenched horizon. Shadow does the same.
So, he makes Sonic happy. He can live with that.
...but what will happen when he leaves?
----
"Cold night," Shadow comments, kneeling down beside Sonic.
The hedgehog nods, twisting his fingers into his sweater sleeves without taking his eyes off the horizon. He's standing- sitting- watch tonight, one of a few who won't get sleep so the rest of the rebellion can.
(Allegedly, he needs less sleep than regular people. Shadow used to make the same claim; he knows better than anyone how damaging that particular half-truth can be.)
"Missed you at dinner," Shadow says, when no reply appears to be forthcoming.
He's not upset about being left alone, although it is odd to interact with the others without Sonic to back him up. They all stare at him like the anomaly he is. (Hilariously, his resemblance towards Sonic is what disturbs them, rather than his dimension-hopping.)
"Sucks for you," Sonic mutters.
Shadow huffs a laugh. "Not really. I don't mind a break from your constant bragging."
"At least I don't talk weird, pixel brain," Sonic says. Without prompting, he adds, "Did you know, I used to stop people from fighting alongside me?"
Shadow raises a brow, but stays quiet. Sonic brought this up, he can explain the statement if he wants to.
Sure enough, Sonic continues, "I'm the fast one. I'm smart enough to not get hurt. It was safer to do things myself." He eyes Shadow, abandoning his post to gauge Shadow's reaction. "But you're fast too. And I've seen you heal a broken arm within days."
"Where are you going with this?"
Sonic shrugs. "I don't know. I guess... it's just nice to have someone who can keep up."
Shadow hums. Emotional vulnerability has never been Sonic's strong suit. It must pain him to admit any of this. He probably wouldn't even be saying it without the cover of night and a severe lack of sleep.
As commiseration, Shadow offers, "My version of you used to say the same thing." An eye for an eye, a sad fact for a sad fact. That makes them even, does it not?
"You miss him a lot."
"I miss all of them," Shadow says noncommittally. "My team must be… upset."
If Rouge hasn't torn apart the globe looking for him yet, he'll eat one of his inhibitors. If Omega isn't right by her side, he'll eat the other one, too.
"I will help you get home," Sonic says. "I know it doesn't feel like it, but I swear, you'll make it back."
"I'm not worried," Shadow replies, and it's true. He wants to go home so badly it aches like a hole in his heart, but it's… okay, being here. For some reason, it suddenly feels important that Sonic understands that, as well. So, idiotically, Shadow opens his mouth and says, "And if I had to get stuck somewhere, being stuck with you is… preferable."
A small smirk creeps onto Sonic's face. "Preferable to what?"
Shadow sighs. "Anyone else." At Sonic's grin, Shadow scowls, and mutters, "Don't get used to this. I'm not saying it twice."
"Aw, you do have a heart," Sonic teases, leaning in to tap Shadow on the nose.
Shadow bats Sonic's hand away, but he's smiling too.
"Don't worry," Sonic says. He's still leaning in, close enough that Shadow can feel the heat of his skin. "I won't tell anyone."
"Thanks," Shadow whispers. He can see the moonlight reflecting off Sonic's eyes. They're blue here, like the hottest part of a flame: deadly if you're not careful. Instead of green, instead of growth and love and forgiveness-
(But they're not the same person, are they?)
If he just tilted his head a little-
It's too much.
Shadow plants both hands on Sonic's chest. Sonic only has time to blink once before Shadow slams him backwards, away from himself and into the grass.
Then, smoothly, Shadow rises to his feet, deathly calm and definitely not having a panic attack. "Good night," Shadow tells the open air, almost managing to sound normal until his voice cracks on the second word.
"G'night, Shadow," Sonic replies. His tone is blank, betraying nothing.
He has one hand braced on the grass to keep from falling over. Maybe Shadow should've been a little gentler with that push.
Shadow swallows, nods, and heads back to the tents.
It's hard not to feel like he's running away.