Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

the party (taylor’s ver.)

8:15 AM

little red: which one you fuckers has the math homework

willow: wow max!!!! good morning to you too, you beautiful ray of sunshine :)

18 wheeler: fuck off max

ellie: michael????

18 wheeler: i mean uhm. no max i don’t have it

look-yas: i have it max. and apparently i’m the only one here who cares about you.

cropduster: goofy simp head ass

look-yas: fuck off dustin

little red: can we stop jibberin and start telling me what the fuckinf cosine of 45 is 

18 wheeler: fuckinf

little red: like actually die except i’m being serious 

18 wheeler: love u too maxie

little red: WILL 

willow: michael leave max alone 

18 wheeler: lame. 

PRIVATE MESSAGE between dustin :) and lucas :)

2:50 PM

dustin :): now that you’ve quit the basketball team can we finally join knitting club?

lucas :): dustin we aren’t joining knitting club

dustin :): and why the fuck not?

lucas :): because we’ve got hellfire in 20, and you’re gonna run yourself in the ground if you join another club.  cmon i’ll be at your house in 5.

dustin :):  i’m in love with you.

lucas :): calm down there kid it’s just a ride 

dustin :): jk dude god take a joke u weirdo

lucas :): [deep, suffered, agonized sigh]

dustin :): [kicks feet] 

the mid afternoon snack club

3:15 PM

the rebel: there are children in my apartment.

the nerd: out of context that sounds absolutely horrifying.

the jock: have you fed them?

the rebel: you have to feed them?

the recluse: eddie-

the rebel: IM JOKING GOD

the princess: you could’ve had me fooled, champ.

the rebel: thanks dad

the princess: anytime son! :)

the nerd: i miss max and will. so. i’m coming over.

the jock: you two being neighbors always throws me.

the nerd: are u jealous?

the jock: pffft no.

the jock: what?

the jock: shut up.

the jock: i’m not.

the rebel: there are now children and robin in my home.

the jock: don’t feed robin. she’ll turn into a monster and start biting your ankles.

the recluse: real.

the princess: real.

the nerd: real.

PRIVATE MESSAGE between edward and steven

3:34 PM

edward: hey man you’re always welcome. at my place. if you do wanna come hang.

steven: no no eddie it’s fine i was joking lmao

edward: oh well

edward: offer still stands.

steven: oh

steven: okay? can i come over in like 2 hours? i’m kinda at work rn

edward: i mean. it’ll just be us since the little shits have plans this evening apparently but yeah? if you’re cool with that?

steven: i’m cool with that .

edward: cool.

Chapter Text

PRIVATE MESSAGE between ellie and little red

12:39 PM

little red: hi ellie

ellie: hi maxie

little red: GROSS

little red: but funny

little red: anyways wanna go thrifting and then get coffee and then go the bookstore off main?

ellie:  yes but i do not want coffee

little red: yes i know we can get you a matcha thing

ellie: the green is very pretty. like you! :)

little red: uhhsnedk haendkdmuhh thank you?

PRIVATE MESSAGE between cut her own bangs and had a bowl 

12:45 PM

cut her own bangs: william.

had a bowl cut: maxine.

cut her own bangs: GROSS.

had a bowl cut: you vs gross

cut her own bangs:  you vs your mom in my bed

had a bowl cut: JESUS MAX. leave my mother out of this

cut her own bangs: god you’re right i’m sorry joyce i love you

had a bowl cut: [voice memo of a chuckling joyce byers, “i love you too, max.” she says.]

cut her own bangs: i would die for that woman.

had a bowl cut: she wouldn’t let you.

cut her own bangs: exactly.

had a bowl cut: what was your original point here other than to insult my mother, take it back and government name drop me

cut her own bangs: OH. right,

cut her own bangs: i’m. in crisis.

had a bowl cut: yeah well that’s like our thing around here.

cut her own bangs: no. will. like a gay one.

had a bowl cut: …. yeah?? that’s still pretty on brand. for a small town our gay population is. roaring.

cut her own bangs: WILL. IM BEING SERIOUS.

had a bowl cut: sorry!! sorry. i just don’t understand the big issue. you’re out as a bi right???

cut her own bangs: well yeah but

had a bowl cut: oh fuck wait you’re

cut her own bangs: dating lucas.

had a bowl cut: like by choice or is it like a hostage situation

cut her own bangs: WILL.

had a bowl cut: SORRY SORRY IM JOKING. i love lucas so much. but he’s seemed a little. preoccupied recently. and so do you. but not with each other.

cut her own bangs: i haven’t even noticed he wasn’t noticing me

had a bowl cut: yeah bc you wanna kiss my sister

cut her own bangs: WILL?

had a bowl cut: WHAT? as little miss erica sinclair says “just the facts”

cut her own bangs: but that’s the issue. i don’t wanna dump lucas. i really like him.

had a bowl cut: i mean. you can like lucas and el. those two things aren’t mutually exclusive. but. are the feelings of attraction for lucas still there?

cut her own bangs: uhm.

cut her own bangs: …. i don’t think so :(

had a bowl cut: and that’s not a bad thing? it doesn’t mean that you didn’t like him or love him even. feelings change people change shit happens and we cope with it

cut her own bangs: that feels like it has a double meaning

had a bowl cut: what??? haha no way no haha no :) nope. no.

cut her own bangs: well. you helped a lot. like actually.

cut her own bangs: thanks will

had a bowl cut: ….. say it

cut her own bangs: NO.

had a bowl cut: SAY IT OR I WILL

cut her own bangs: NO NO NO N

had a bowl cut: i love you max :) <3

cut her own bangs: GROSS GROSS GROSS GROSS EW YUCK OH GOD

cut her own bangs: … i love you too

cut her own bangs: [runs away screaming and gagging]

Chapter Text

PRIVATE MESSAGE between max <3 and lucas :)

11:15 AM

max <3: lucas

max. <3: can i come over?

lucas :): yeah is everything okay?

max <3: yeah. Yeah!!

LUCAS knew Max well, too well, probably and for a girl who attempted to phase in and out of people’s consciousness, because hiding is so much easier than being seen and looked through, she was doing a terrible job of keeping her anxiousness to herself. A flyaway hair was brushed back behind her ear, her nails, in need of a new coat of black nail polish, were torn at the cuticles. She played with the slightly curled ends of her braids. 

Lucas just observed her, watched her fidget and jitter her leg. She hadn’t looked him in the eye in the whole ten minutes she’d been at his house.

“Lucas, you know I love you, right?” Max said, and when she looked up at him, tears rolled down her face, slightly tan from the beginnings of the Hawkins late spring sun. 

She was pretty, even when she cried, but Lucas, who knew Max too well, knew she was prettiest when she was happy. He nodded and took her hand, and she wiped her face with her other hand. 

“I love you, so I have to be honest.” She said, each word muttered so rawly, but her voice shook. 

Max exhaled deeply, “I think we need to break up.” 

Lucas blinked once, twice, and the third time tears collected in his eyes. “Oh.” 

He nodded, slowly, and took a quick wipe at his face. “I want for you to be happy,” Lucas settled on finally, knowing that was the only true thing he could say. 

“Do you.. Still want to be, like, friends?” Asked Max, and as the tears fell down her own face, she made no move to wipe them away. 

Lucas smiled, even through the sadness that spread through him, immobilizing him from thinking anything that wasn’t Max, or her hair, or her tears, or her Spotify playlists, or her all consuming way of loving someone,  “I’ll always be your friend, Max.” 

He wasn’t surprised when they hugged as she bid him goodbye, and if he was going to be honest, he wasn’t surprised she’d broken up with him. He’d been distracted by everything under the sun; school, their looming senior year, and a nagging feeling that he wasn’t taking good care of all the parts of his life that needed him. 

But Max didn’t need him, at least not anymore. And knowing her, which Lucas did, well enough to know that she was going to keep to her ask of friendship and that she'd be heartbroken if he didn’t. They didn’t both need to walk away from one another with half functioning organs, Lucas decided. 

He’d be Max’s friend, her best friend, whatever she needed, and Lucas swore to himself he would do better as her friend than he could as her boyfriend. 

PRIVATE MESSAGE between dustin :) and lucas :) 

12:01 PM

lucas :): i just.

lucas :): got dumped?

dustin :): oh-

dustin :): oh no-

dustin :): shit lucas are you alright?

lucas :): i don’t know? 

dustin :): do you want me to come over?

lucas :): yeah :(

dustin :): okay. we can watch x-men and i’ll bring kettle corn.

lucas :): okay :(

PRIVATE MESSAGE between shag cut and erica’s brother 

12:17 PM

shag cut: how’re you doing?

erica’s brother: does everyone already know jesus 

erica’s brother: i’m doing confused 

erica’s brother: i’m sad because i feel like i just got her back after our rough patch but i’m not sad because it’s max. 

erica’s brother: don’t get me wrong i still love her? they’re one of my best friends ever. but i’m not sad that we aren’t together. i’m more sad that now i’m alone.

shag cut: you’re not alone lucas.

erica’s brother: you have a girlfriend who loves you mike.

shag cut: yeah i guess but i also have you, dustin and will. friendships are just as important as relationships. and it’s okay to be sad that an important relationship is changing. 

erica’s brother: yeah. i guess. you’re right. 

shag cut: i’m rarely wrong 

erica’s brother: do we wanna go there? 

shag cut: no we don’t. i take it back.

PRIVATE MESSAGE between annoying red head demon and bitch boy wheeler

12:34 PM

annoying red head demon: is lucas okay?

bitch boy wheeler: he’s been better. 

bitch boy wheeler: this break up feels more permanent.

annoying red head demon: because it is.

bitch boy wheeler: can i ask why?

annoying red head demon: no leave me alone mullet boy 

bitch boy wheeler: it’s not a mullet 

annoying red head demon: pinterest says other wise. artsy fartsy mullet maybe but a mullet no less.

bitch boy wheeler: i hate talking to you <33

annoying red head demon: that means i’m doing something right 

bitch boy wheeler: max.

annoying red head demon: ugh what

bitch boy wheeler: are YOU okay? seriously.

annoying red head demon: yes mike. i’m okay. i’m just realizing my feelings for lucas changed.

bitch boy wheeler: is there any particular reason?

annoying red head demon: i don’t. really wanna talk about that.

bitch boy wheeler: that’s fine by me devil spawn

annoying red head demon: it better have been u shriveled shrimp 

bitch boy wheeler: shriveled. shrimp? i’m like a foot taller than you?

annoying red head demon: you’re about to have my foot up your ass bestie

bitch boy wheeler: sorry bae i mean you’re so tall and awesome and i’m sorry you’re going through a break up. 

annoying red head demon: i hate you just kidding thanks for reaching out i appreciate it

bitch boy wheeler: never speak of this again?

annoying red head demon: i won’t if you won’t! :) 

PRIVATE MESSAGE between eddie!! :)) and henderson

2:05 PM

henderson: eddie!! edster!! my favorite guy!!

eddie!! :)): no 

henderson: what i didn’t even get to say anything 

eddie!! :)): i just cleaned my apartment 

henderson: what’s the implication there, munson? 

eddie!! :)): you and your little freakwad friends make baby messes with your baby hands and grubby fingers 

henderson: [clutches pearls with a dramatic gasp] why i NEVER? 

eddie!! :)): get to the point henderson

henderson: lucas is really sad because max dumped him and i love erica truly really but the girl has a sensitivity issue and he just really needs to get out of the house but we can’t go to mine because my room and basement aren’t clean so please eddie please can we come over 

eddie!! :)): …… 

eddie!! :)): max dumped lucas? 

henderson: yeah story goes she likes someone else :/

henderson: isn’t that insane? imagine you’re dating lucas and then somehow manage to like someone else? 

eddie!! :)): i think my issue here is that i’ve never once in my life thought about dating lucas 

henderson: oh 

henderson: neither have i!

eddie!! :)): [blinks slowly]

eddie!! :)): bring will. he keeps you guys bearable to be around. 

henderson: as if i’d go anywhere without my emotional support friend 

eddie!! :)): god forbid. 

the margaritas for breakfast club

2:19 PM

the recluse: do the younglings seem. 

the recluse: off. to anyone else? 

the rebel: dustin texted me. there’s been a break up.

the nerd: oh did mike and el finally kick the can? 

the princess: not to my knowledge

the rebel: nope lucas and max 

the nerd: oh hoh hoh was not expecting that 

the jock: hm. i wonder how dustin is feeling 

the recluse: why would you be wondering how dustin is feeling 

the rebel: im with steve. the kids got it bad 

the recluse: … for max?

the princess: holy shit you two are right 

the nerd: i’m upset i didn’t see it sooner 

the recluse: i’m confused 

the princess: oh jonathan. 

the recluse: can someone please tell me what’s going on:(

the nerd: no whiny boy figure it out yourself 

the jock: hey rob be nice he’s just an idiot 

the rebel: awww so u guys have a lot in common :) 

the jock: fuck you

the rebel: okay?? 

the nerd has left the margaritas for breakfast club

the jock has added the nerd to the margaritas for breakfast club

the nerd has changed the chat name to the vodka straight from the bottle for breakfast club 

the princess: gay people are miserable to be around. 

the recluse: can i say vouch or no

the princess: i’ll allow it 

the recluse: vouch. 

Chapter Text

PRIVATE MESSAGE between will the wise and dustin the bard 

2:52 PM

dustin the bard: who does max have feelings for 

will the wise: jesus dustin.

will the wise: how do you even know about that

dustin the bard: lucas was crying in my arms like when his guinea pig died in 5th grade and then cuddled me.

dustin the bard: LUCAS JAMES SINCLAIR CUDDLED ME. 

dustin the bard: and i was thinking. lucas and max, they weren’t. in a perfect place, but max wouldn’t have dumped him without a real push from something. or someone. 

will the wise: ouch. yikes. i was not expecting that. he must be feeling absolutely miserable the boy hates physical touch. 

will the wise: i mean it’s for the best max needed to tell lucas sooner rather than later.

dustin the bard: so you knew. max told you she was gonna dump him and you let it happen?

will the wise: okay dustin calm down. max told me she’d been feeling a certain way about lucas and another person. and i told her that it wasn’t fair to lucas to stay with him if she wasn’t actually into him. 

dustin the bard: he’s just. so sad will :(

dustin the bard: and so i was right. she does  like someone else.

dustin the bard: i’m sorry for being mean

will the wise: yeah i know

dustin the bard: as your best friend after max i do wanna know the secrets still :)

dustin the bard: [kicks feet] 

will the wise: dustin.

dustin the bard: ugh you’re no fun

will the wise: i am. the MOST fun.

dustin the bard: …. true :/ 

will the wise: give lucas a hug for me okay? and i think he’ll be okay. i’m not sure if he realized but he was definitely pulling away from max too.

dustin the bard: wait really? he’s my best friend and i didn’t notice?

will the wise: ofc you didn’t lol 

dustin the bard: will? what’re you talking about?

will the wise: oh nothing my dusty bun. my sweet little crop duster. my favorite curly headed little spaghetti noodle.

dustin the bard: what the fuck does that last one even mean?

will the wise: idk i giggled though

dustin the bard: unfortunately i did too

dustin the bard: do you wanna come bother eddie with me and lucas later?

will the wise: sure, as long as he has snacks

dustin the bard: i think steve started forcing him to keep shit in the pantry for us 

will the wise: if we have one ally it’s steve harrington 

dustin the bard: amen to that. see you in like 30?

will the wise: more like 45, ellie wants me to help her pick out an outfit 

dustin the bard: ha gay best friend 

will the wise: shut up you’re gayer than me and also she’s my sister. and you’ve seen her pout it’s like impossible to say no to

dustin the bard: no you’re gayer than me and yeah i know how do you think i ended up being a stand in hand model for her fuckin nail art instagram 

will the wise: it’s bc you’re gay

dustin the bard: no YOURE gay + you had a dumb hair cut in middle school + you do the stupid random british accent + ratio 

will the wise: han solo + you in 5th grade crying bc you didn’t understand why you thought anakin skywalker was so pretty + literally so do you + you learned how to play bass for a boy + you’re gay + ratio 

dustin the bard: luke skywalker + YOU in 5th grade crying because you thought steve was cute + you painted a portrait for a boy + you’re gayer + ratio 

will the wise: the andrew garfield poster in your closet. 

dustin the bard: the picture of mike in yours? 

will the wise: DIE. DIE. DIE.

dustin the bard [voice.memo.of.dustin.maniacal.laughing.with.a.sleepy.lucas.in.the.background.asking.what’s.going. on.mp4]

will the wise: im sitting on a bad boy piece of information.

dustin the bard: HUH?

will the wise: nothing :) ohhh nothing :) 

PRIVATE MESSAGE between mikey and silly willy 

3:42 PM

mikey: hey loser 

silly willy: hi nerd 

mikey: wanna hang today? 

silly willy: i’m crashing in on eddie’s later today with dustin and lucas. you can come with us if you want

mikey: sure

mikey: …. is it true that max dumped lucas bc she likes someone else

silly willy: stop talking to dustin 

silly willy: but. yeah. i think dustin thinks lucas needs a distraction and what better distraction than bothering eddie

mikey: real. 

mikey: hey i listened to that playlist you made me

silly willy: oh god i forgot about that 

mikey: i like it a lot :)

silly willy: that’s good considering i made it for you

mikey: oh my god shut up please shut up

silly willy: k

mikey: NO

silly willy: k

mikey: I HATE IT WHEN U DO THIS

silly willy: k

mikey: WILLIAM.

silly willy: hm?

mikey: STOP IT

silly willy: fine… for now.

mikey: i live in fear. 

silly willy: good.

mikey: i’m coming over

silly willy: stalker 

mikey: is el there

silly willy: … she lives here doofus

mikey: DOOFUS? too much time with robin i see

silly willy: not enough time with robin. 

mikey: [eye roll] i was just asking

silly willy: if you’re only coming to make out with her do not bother coming over

mikey: jesus will cool it 

silly willy: no u cool it u horn dog

mikey: WILLIAM.

silly willy: what

mikey: i was gonna say california made u sassy but you’ve always been like this 

silly willy: i think watching mean girls when i was 10 changed the trajectory of my life 

mikey: for the better i like u like this

silly willy: what the fuck does that mean 

[ erased ]

silly willy: that’s good bc i’m not changing. if u come over you’re on ellie outfit duty idk why she asked me to help i wear a variation of the same thing every day

mikey: will you dress like a walking pinterest board 

silly willy: thank? You? i think?

mikey: im omw 

silly willy: k doors open. we’re in el’s room 

Chapter Text

the vodka straight from the bottle for club 

5:43 PM

the rebel: who was gonna tell me dustin plays bass?

the jock: i thought this was common knowledge 

the nerd: no u literally didn’t think that shut up 

the recluse: i knew?

the princess: i didn’t know but that doesn’t surprise me 

the recluse: he has a beanie that says fuck the guitarist, marry the bassist?

the princess: that’s vulgar 

the jock: i got it for him for his 17th birthday #prouddad 

the rebel: …. corroded coffin needs a new bassist.

the jock: no.

the rebel: yes.

the jock: he already does … so much eddie. the boy is running hawkins high but in the nerdy geeky little future tech bro kinda way and also i’m not letting u ruin dustin with ur gay people music 

the rebel: you literally kiss boys

the jock: and so do you. 

the rebel: i’ll kiss you if you don’t shut up

the jock: oh?

the recluse: raise your hand if you’re scared 

the nerd: [raises hand]

the princess: [raises hand]

the jock: [raises hand] 

the rebel: it’s dustin’s choice steve not yours 

the jock: he’s 17, eddie.

the rebel: what’s your point.

the jock: HE WONT EVEN BE ALLOWED IN HALF THE PLACES U PLAY THATS MY POINT

the rebel: just asked

the rebel: he said yes 

the jock: ….

the jock: ….

the jock: …. 

the nerd: uh oh 

the princess: quiet steve is not sitting right with my spirit.

the party (poopers) (not funny dustin) (wdym i'm hilarious) (stop fucking with the gc name - max) (get a life mayfield - mike)

6:15 PM

dust bin: guys i think i’m in a band 

mikey: vouch

lucas skywalker: vouch

pinterest board: vouch

ginger spice: HUH?

ellie: congratulations dustin :) 

ginger spice: i need context. now.

dust bin: mikey, luke, will and i were at eddie’s and eddie got a bass bc he wanted to learn and i was playing it and he was like when did u learn bass and i was like well luke and i made a bet that i wouldn’t stick to a hobby for more than 2 months when were like 12 and i’ve been playing ever since and he was like i need a bassist and i said uhm. okay? and then he was like henderson i’m asking YOU to be our bassist and then i squeaked and then i bounced around a little bit and then i said yeah sure whatever 

lucas skywalker: yep. sounds about right. 

dust bin: i think steve’s a little upset with me now though 

ginger spice: i didn’t know that was possible 

dust bin: he just thinks i’m biting off more than i can chew and also doesn’t think it’s safe for me to be like playing at bars and stuff 

mikey: biting off more than you can chew? you? dustin? president of student council, head of the coding club, math tutor, library assistant, dog shelter volunteer on weekends, and film club vice president? 

dust bin: i’m completely normal :)

lucas skywalker: no you’re not :) 

ginger spice: jesus dustin how do you have time for anything 

dust bin: i have 3 planners and a white board calendar and also a caffeine addiction 

ellie: i think that it is very cool that dustin does so many fun things

dust bin: thanks ellie i love u mwah mwah 

ellie: you are welcome dustin kiss kiss 

lucas skywalker: i think that dustin is headed towards an early grave or intense burnout 

dust bin: SHHHHHH shh shh shh hush. mind your. business.

lucas skywalker: k

ginger spice: does that mean that we get to go to bars now too?

dust bin: uhm. probably not.

ginger spice: lame

dust bin: ugh. steve’s calling me. brb. 

ellie: i miss you all! can we hang out tomorrow?

ginger spice: yes :)

lucas skywalker: im down

pinterest board: as long as we don’t watch something dumb im down too 

ginger spice: what’s something dumb?

pinterest board: the lego batman movie for the 5th time this week?

ellie: i like that movie? :(

pinterest board: i know ellie i know. 

ellie: okay then we can watch harley quinn birds of prey 

ginger spice: hot women movie 

ellie: hot women movie!!!!

lucas skywalker: gay people at work.

ellie: but i am not gay?

lucas skywalker: k

ginger spice: hm.

ellie: will am i gay?

pinterest board: why do i have to decide?-

ellie: because you are my brother and you are gay.

pinterest board: jesus el.

ginger spice: we could ask her boyfriend lol

ellie: what does that mean? :(

pinterest board: max. cool it. 

lucas skywalker: speaking of where is michael

mikey: i’ve been summoned 

ellie: you don’t think i’m gay right?

mikey: wtf? el where’s this coming from?

ellie: just answer

mikey: is this serious?

ellie: yes

mikey: can we talk about this not here 

dust bin: i just got the lecture of a life time what did i miss

dust bin: oh jesus apparently a lot

Chapter Text

PRIVATE MESSAGE between ellie and mikey

ellie: are you mad at me?

mikey: no never ever you’re one of my best friends 

mikey: but i wouldn’t have a reason to be mad at you even if you were gay which only you get to ponder / wonder / think about, okay?

mikey: lucas and max were joking, i’m sure. 

ellie: but what if i am.

mikey: what if you’re what?

ellie: a lesbian

mikey: i’d be okay with that.

ellie: mike

mikey: yeah el?

ellie: i think we need to talk

mikey: i agree. i’ll be on my way.

11:45 AM

ellie: mike you are my best friend 

mikey: yeah i know 

mikey: you’re mine too 

the party 

ellie: i’m a lesbian 

ginger spice: that was a quick turn around 

mikey: proud of u el :)

lucas skywalker: real recognizes real. (there is not one straight person in any of the circles we run in.) 

mikey: that’s not true 

lucas skywalker: you don’t count. i think when your mom and dad bought u from the store they forgot the gay parts in the frozen food aisle 

mikey: ouch :(

pinterest board: we are not dissecting peoples gayness in this gc anymore you’ve already turned my sister 

ellie: I AM GAY! :) 

pinterest board: YAY!

dust bin: IM SO HAPPY FOR YOU ELLIE

ellie: THANK YOU DUSTIN :)

PRIVATE MESSAGE between dipper and mabel

dipper: i’m really happy for you el? and really proud too.

mabel: thank you will 

mabel: i think this is why it didn’t bother me that much when i realized you liked mike

dipper: JESUS EL?!-&3@;@

mabel: what? is that a secret? 

dipper: YES? 

mabel: oh

mabel: well it is very obvious 

mabel: i think he likes you too

mabel: but he was also my boyfriend 2 hours ago so i wouldn’t know for sure since he wouldn’t have told me bc yknow of the whole boyfriend thing 

dipper: you stress me out so bad 

mabel: you should tell him 

mabel: he is your best friend. he would not be upset with you. i would not let him.

dipper: i’ve faced enough unsaid rejection in my life to know when to just bite my tongue.

mabel: will you are always there for all of us. but who is always there for you?

dipper: ….

mabel: mike.

mabel: who got you a skateboard for your birthday? who sits and talks at you while you paint because he knows you like the company? who when he first got his license drove you to your favorite record store?

dipper: oh god 

mabel: wow i must be really really gay to literally not notice or care that my boyfriend was in love with my brother 

dipper: SHUT UP 

dipper: GO KISS MAX

mabel: maybe i will! 

dipper: OH?

mabel: she is very pretty :) 

PRIVATE MESSAGE between angry bird and student athlete 

student athlete: max. you keep forgetting your airpods at my house 

angry bird: THATS WHERE THEY ARE?

student athlete: yeah i had to pry them from erica’s mouth 

angry bird: i pray for the love of all things holy that you’re being dramatic rn

student athlete: only slightly tbh

angry bird: ugh she’s so real.

student athlete: MAX?/&3&;&;

angry bird: what?? i see her she sees me. 

student athlete: why did god put the most evil women in my life 

angry bird: bc u suck <3

student athlete: imagine i wink at the camera while a sped up version of sweetest pie by dua lipa ft megan thee stallion plays 

angry bird: like a tik tok edit

student athlete: exactly like a tik tok edit, yes. 

student athlete: anyways u were being a dick head in the gc. go apologize to ellie rn

angry bird: HUH?

student athlete: you reeked of jealousy 

student athlete: like it was bad i could smell your funky ass from my bedroom and you live a good 14.3 minutes away

angry bird: oh wow i just read the texts back

angry bird: we wrecked havoc 

student athlete: you more than me 

angry bird: ok so.

student athlete: go apologize 

angry: ugh i hate it when you make me feel bad 

student athlete: do nOT SAY IT LIKE THAT?1$3&4

PRIVATE MESSAGE between ginger spice and wonder woman

ginger spice: i’m sorry i was being so mean earlier. i think i was just. kinda jealous.

wonder woman: why would you be jealous? 

ginger spice: because. 

wonder woman: because why?

ginger spice: remember when you pushed me off my skateboard because you thought i was flirting with mike

wonder woman: oh my :( i feel awful about that. i cannot believe that i ever laid a hand on you 

ginger spice: that kinda jealous ellie 

wonder woman: i’m still 

wonder woman: i think im still confused 

wonder woman: wait 

wonder woman: oh. 

ginger spice: yeah. 

ginger spice: and it’s okay if you like don’t feel the same, because i know you just came to terms with liking girls and you’re also literally my best friend and i’d hate for things to change in a bad way but if you need space i totally understand but. i like you. i really do. 

wonder woman: max

ginger spice: yes?

wonder woman: i like you too. 

read

PRIVATE MESSAGE between cut her own bangs and had a bowl cut 

cut her own bangs GAY CRISIS

had a bowl cut i cannot believe u are dating my sister 

cut her own bangs we are not dating 

had a bowl cut …. k

cut her own bangs WE ARE NOT DATING?

had a bowl cut …. k?

cut her own bangs DID SHE SAY WE WERE DATING????

had a bowl cut i mean she hasn’t said anything since apparently the girl she likes left her on read after confessing to her 

cut her own bangs SHIT FUCK WAIT OH GOD 

PRIVATE MESSAGE between ginger spice and wonder woman

wonder woman: max? 

ginger spice: sorry SORRY i just wasn’t expecting that

wonder woman: oh? i’m sorry

ginger spice: NO no don’t apologize

ginger spice: i’m really happy you like me back 

ginger spice: do you wanna be my girlfriend?

[ erased ]

ginger spice: do you wanna go on a date? 

[ erased ]

ginger spice: THIS IS IMPOSSIBLE

[ erased ]