Chapter Text
top 10 reasons why lex luthor is a republican
1/20/2025 11:11 AM
i dont speak taco bell: ITS 11:11 EVERYONE MAKE A WISH
longest shadow: i wish my best friend weren’t forced to betray humanity
longest shadow: oh and also i wish for gushers fruit snacks
恐竜歯ブラシ 忍者ソース付き =: I wish Virgil would respond to our messages
恐竜歯ブラシ 忍者ソース付き =: He has been offline the whole day
sentient mess of electrons: YASAMEOR SMIYAEYAEME YASAMEOR TALORASTEGADENSTEN LUSANOYAG ESANITAGROUNSTEN NEAMICALI CARAMELLDANSEN OAOAOAOA OAOAOAOA
i dont speak taco bell: virgil
i dont speak taco bell: buddy
i dont speak taco bell: my man
i dont speak taco bell: what alien language is that
sentient mass of electrons: swedish
i dont speak taco bell: oh that makes more sense
i dont speak taco bell: fuck european languages
恐竜歯ブラシ 忍者ソース付き =: Yes, I agree that european languages are overly confusing. Especially english.
longest shadow: ed you do realize that spanish is a european language right
i dont speak taco bell: yeah but it’s the european’s fault for bringing over their weird languages
longest shadow: can’t really argue with that
i dont speak taco bell: so anyways virgil what was that whole thing with the swedish earlier
sentient mess of electrons: you
sentient mess of electrons: you mean to tell me
sentient mess of electrons: that you don’t know
sentient mess of electrons: the greatest song ever created
恐竜歯ブラシ 忍者ソース付き =: Oh no
sentient mess of electrons: THE LEGENDARY
sentient mess of electrons: CARAMELLDANSEN
longest shadow: no am i supposed to???
恐竜歯ブラシ 忍者ソース付き =: Tye. Run as fast as you can
恐竜歯ブラシ 忍者ソース付き =: Once he starts then there is no stopping him
longest shadow: ???
longest shadow: what the fuck
longest shadow: sam what do you mean
longest shadow: and what’s “caramelldansen”
i dont speak taco bell: oh fuck oh no
i dont speak taco bell: tye. listen very closely.
i dont speak taco bell: virgil’s usually a chill guy.
i dont speak taco bell: but when it comes to this ONE SPECIFIC SONG
i dont speak taco bell: there is no end to his reign of terror.
longest shadow: damn
longest shadow: must be a pretty good song
sentient mess of electrons: how about you come to my house and hear it for yourself :)
恐竜歯ブラシ 忍者ソース付き =: DO NOT DO IT TYE
恐竜歯ブラシ 忍者ソース付き =: IT IS A TRAP
恐竜歯ブラシ 忍者ソース付き =: HE IS LURING YOU INTO AN INESCAPABLE PIT OF TORTURE
longest shadow: can’t be THAT bad
longest shadow: virgil i’ll be there in 10
sentient mess of electrons: yay!!!
~~~
longest shadow: WAHT THE FUCJ
longest shadow sent a video.
[The video begins with Tye walking through the hallway towards Virgil’s bedroom. There is faint music coming from the music and colorful lights can be seen through the cracks in the door. Tye slowly approaches the door and knocks. There is no response.
“Virgil? Can I come in?” He slowly asks, sounding confused and a bit concerned.
“Yeah, come right in!” Virgil responds.
Tye slowly twists the doorknob and the door creaks open.
Inside, Virgil is seen in the middle of his room wearing what appears to be a Japanese schoolgirl uniform. The Caramelldansen music video is seen playing from every screen in the room. A small machine in the corner of the room casts colorful strobe lights all over the room. Virgil is doing the Caramelldansen dance, perfectly on time with both the music and the people in the music video.
Tye stands there for several seconds, then proceeds to drop his phone. The video blurs and shows a close-up of the floor. Tye picks up the phone and ends the video.]
longest shadow: I CLOSED THE DOOR AND RAN OUT OF THEERE AS FAST AS HUMANLY POSSIBLE
longest shadow: IM STILL IN THE HALLWAY AND I CAN HEAR HIM CACKLING LIKE A FUCKING MADMAN
longest shadow: WHAT IS HAPPENING
恐竜歯ブラシ 忍者ソース付き =: We warned you.
恐竜歯ブラシ 忍者ソース付き =: And you did not listen.
longest shadow: WELL I WASNT EXPECTING THAT
i dont speak taco bell: rest in many pieces, fallen compadre
i dont speak taco bell: you will be missed
i dont speak taco bell: what kind of worms do you want in your coffin
longest shadow: sparganophilus
i dont speak taco bell: you’re so real for that
longest shadow: they’re just so…
longest shadow: tiny
longest shadow: oh yeah also it’s not 11:11 anymore but i also wish my eyes hadn’t changed color. now it just looks like i’m constantly wearing contacts
i dont speak taco bell: oh yeah also i just remembered FUCK THAT ONE GUY WHO RATTED US OUT IN STAR LABS
i dont speak taco bell: THE GUY WHO USED TO BE NEUTRON
i dont speak taco bell: WHAT WAS HIS FUCKIN NAME
i dont speak taco bell: FUCKIN NEWTON OR SOMETHING I DON’T REMEMBER SO I’M JUST GONNA CALL HIM JIMMY NEUTRON
i dont speak taco bell: FUCK JIMMY NEUTRON
longest shadow: FUCK JIMMY NEUTRON
恐竜歯ブラシ 忍者ソース付き =: FUCK JIMMY NEUTRON!!!
sentient mess of electrons: FUCK JUMMY NEUTRONS
longest shadow: VIRGIL I NEVER WANT TO SPEAK TO YOU AGAIN
longest shadow: FUCK MY LIFE
longest shadow is offline.
i dont speak taco bell: well damn
i dont speak taco bell: i call NOT telling jaime that virgil killed his bf using caramelldansen
恐竜歯ブラシ 忍者ソース付き =: I wonder if Jaime knows what Caramelldansen is
i dont speak taco bell: knowing him and his friends he’s probably been subjected to it a million times
恐竜歯ブラシ 忍者ソース付き =: Virgil. You should “take one for the team” and admit to your crimes.
sentient mess of electrons: JAIME’S GONNA MURDER ME
恐竜歯ブラシ 忍者ソース付き =: That is the plan.
~~~
virgin > BlueMaZoo
virgin: I’M SORRY DONT KILL ME BUT I THINK I MURDERED TYE
virgin: I DIDN’T MEAN TO I DIDN’T THINK CARAMELLDANSEN COULD BE THAT DEADLY
BlueMaZoo: what did you do.
BlueMaZoo: actually doesn’t matter. scarab has your exact location.
BlueMaZoo: start running bucko
virgin: PTERODACTYL SCREECHING