Chapter Text
When Regulus had woken up that very morning, he had a feeling that something was going to go very, very wrong. It was an intrinsic sense of foreboding, swirling deep in his gut and settling into the pit of his stomach. He promptly told that feeling to fuck off, and then felt rather stupid standing in his room talking to himself.
He ignored the feeling of impending doom as he clamored on with his usual morning routine for his (quite shitty) part-time job as a barista, grabbing a piece of toast and bidding a quick goodbye to Evan. Evan, who was also getting ready for work as usual, ruffled his hair as Regulus made his way out the door and to the bus station.
He spotted the bus approaching at its usual spot, near the small clearing of trees, and he hurried towards the bustling line of people as he texted Dorcas that he was on his way.
‘Hurry up,’ she texts him back immediately, as if Regulus could somehow make the bus go faster. He rolled his eyes and set down his phone, fighting back a yawn as the doors of the bus began to close.
God. Regulus couldn’t wait to get his hands on his morning cup of coffee. He could already feel what’s left of his awakened brain cells falling back asleep as he fought to keep his eyes open during the entirety of the bus ride.
But now, three hours later and half his cup of coffee consumed, Regulus deeply regrets ignoring his gut feeling as he sneaks a look at his phone.
chat: the 3 musketeers
tuesday
barty [12:34 pm]
lads. we may be stuck in a predicament rn.
evan [12:34 pm]
oh god what did you do
barty [12:34 pm]
why do u always assume it was smth that i did :((
but anyways uhh
so our apartment may have possibly been on fire
evan [12:35 pm]
WHAT
reggie [12:35 pm]
Bartemius Crouch Junior.
What the fuck did you just say.
evan [12:35 pm]
OH GOD LMAOO ur in deep shit now
reggie [12:35 pm]
Please tell me this is just one of your shitty jokes
barty [12:36 pm]
i unfortunately wish it was
reggie [12:35 pm]
Oh my god
barty [12:36 pm]
IM SORRY PLS DON’T KILL ME I LOVE U <3
LISTEN IT WAS AN ACCIDENT
i was just trying to make pasta which may have…failed rather spectacularly
reggie [12:36 pm]
We established a year ago that both you and I needed adult supervision around the kitchen
barty [12:36 pm]
I KNOW AND IM TERRIBLY SORRY
I WANTED TO MAKE SOMETHING AS A SURPRISE FOR BOTH OF U CUZ I HAD THE DAY OFF AND EVAN WAS ALWAYS THE ONE DOING THE COOKING :((
evan [12:37 pm]
aww ok fine that was sorta sweet and thoughtful of you to do
reggie [12:37 pm]
I wouldn’t say it was very thoughtful since he managed to set our apartment on fire
Nevertheless I can see the attempted effort
evan [12:37 pm]
that is true
barty [12:37 pm]
I KNOW I KNOW IM SORRY
but err i talked to our landlord who is a lil bit pissed
evan [12:37 pm]
just a “lil bit” pissed?
barty [12:38 pm]
alright ok yes she is vv pissed BUT i don’t rlly feel bad bc umbridge has always been a horrible asshole so this was very much deserved
but anyways fortunately the fire department came before the fire had the chance to cause TOO much havoc so our stuff is relatively ok it just smells like smoke
and speaking of that the fireman was sort of cute
evan [12:38 pm]
please dont tell me you were flirting with him
in the midst of a fire?? barty ur priorities…
barty [12:38 pm]
of course not! what do u take me for
ok wait don’t answer that
but fuck
unfortunately i think this is the last straw for umbridge cuz she’s fucking kicking us out
evan [12:39 pm]
she’s WHAT
she does know we start uni again in like…a week??? she couldn’t delay it or give us an early notice??
where tf are we gonna find a place to live at
reggie [12:39 pm]
I’ll keep an eye out for any open apartments
I guess living it out in the woods with a tent would be our backup option if everything goes to shit
barty [12:39 pm]
we are not going to be living in tents reggie are u crazy
evan [12:39 pm]
lmao yea you and barty would not survive a week in a tent
barty [12:40 pm]
evan i know ur literally not talking right now
u have like 943584 bottles of shampoo
how r u gonna take all of them to the wilderness
evan [12:40 pm]
excuse me
you were not complaining yesterday when u were using all 943584 of them
barty [12:40 pm]
everything in this household is shared fyi
don’t think i didn’t notice that u were literally wearing my sweatshirt AND my favorite fuzzy socks this morning before u left to work
reggie [12:41 pm]
For the love of god please take your flirting somewhere else
chat: dorcas, regulus
tuesday
regulus [12:43 pm]
Hey Dorcas thanks for covering my shift
I owe you one
dorcas [12:45 pm]
oh shut up reg it’s no big deal
are things ok? you were sort of in a rush to leave
regulus [12:46 pm]
My place was caught on fire but I’m doing pretty alright besides that fact
dorcas [12:46 pm]
YOUR APARTMENT WAS CAUGHT ON FIRE?
regulus [12:46 pm]
Yes, I’m actually quite irritated thinking about it now because I spilled my drink while rushing back
I’ve only had half my dose of caffeine frankly I’m about to end it right here
dorcas [12:46 pm]
can we please go back to the fact that your apartment was caught on fucking fire
regulus [12:46 pm]
Oh yes
Fortunately it didn’t burned down
Though now I do sort of wish it had
We’ve been kicked out so we’re currently apartment-less for the time being
dorcas [12:47 pm]
aww no that really sucks to hear
hopefully you guys can manage to find a place before classes start :(
i think my gf’s friend has a single room open in his apartment if you ever need it
regulus [12:47 pm]
I’m not sure if there’s enough space for all 3 of us so I’ll have to turn you down for now
But regardless thank you for letting me know
dorcas [12:47 pm]
yeah of course
i’m gonna be dropping by later with a new cup of coffee so yw
lmk where you’re at in the next half hour
regulus [12:47 pm]
Dorcas god
I appreciate you so much
You are the only tolerable coworker in that hellhole
dorcas [12:47 pm]
[Dorcas liked your message.]
i absolutely share the same sentiment
Okay; he may be overreacting, just a little bit. Frankly, his job wasn’t too bad overall, and Regulus had admitted before that he’d rather pick this current job over retail. Salazar’s—a small, local cafe that most students like to frequent at—was conveniently located near his campus, along the broad alleyway that doubled as a small smoking area near Godric’s Hollow. Regulus rather liked the employee benefits and free food that he receives with the job; it was only his unbearable coworkers—specifically Avery and Mulciber—that made Regulus want to rip his hair out sometimes.
One would assume that having older coworkers meant dealing with more maturity while working. On the contrary, this was the third time that Regulus had to deal with coworker drama this entire month, and they were barely two weeks into August. Frankly, he wouldn’t care if they would actually do their fucking job, instead of spending their time doing nothing but criticizing everything he’s doing, despite the fact that he always ends up fixing orders that they messed up on. His coworkers were condescending and rude on their good days, and frankly an uncooperative terror to work with on their bad days.
He was thankful to have Dorcas to share his pain with. She was among the few coworkers that Regulus got along with, and they started sharing shifts together to avoid having to deal with their other coworkers. They had grown quite close, bonding over their mutual hatred of mornings and shitty customers.
“You’re amazing,” he later tells her as she hands him a fresh cup of coffee. They’re at the library, hidden inside one of the study rooms. Barty and Evan had gone out to grab some takeout, which left Regulus alone to guard their stuff before Dorcas had come in. The rest of their luggage was either in a garage sale nearby or at Pandora’s, who had shortly headed off to meet with Xenophilius.
She smiles, kissing his cheek in greeting, before making her way towards the seat across from him. “I know. Now tell me how the fuck Barty managed to set pasta on fire.”
chat: the 3 musketeers
thursday
barty [4:22 pm]
guess who just received good news about the apartment we called about yesterday :))
not me! they were in fact bad news
evan [4:22 pm]
fuckk was it taken already??
reggie [4:23 pm]
Yeah he told Barty and I when we went to check it out
But he did mention that the one-bedroom apartment was still available
evan [4:23 pm]
can all 3 of us work with just 1 bedroom??
reggie [4:23 pm]
No but I think it’ll work out with 2 of us
barty [4:24 pm]
what
wait wait
oh hell no we’re not splitting up
evan [4:24 pm]
barty’s right reg don’t be an idiot wtf
what happened to camping together in a tent
reggie [4:24 pm]
I’m not but think logically about this
We only have a week before uni starts and everywhere else is too expensive for us to afford
barty [4:25 pm]
then we’ll just get the apartment but there’s no reason to split up and leave a person alone
evan [4:25 pm]
and knowing u reg u’ll be the first to volunteer to leave for “our sakes”
reggie [4:24 pm]
Shut up you’re so annoying
barty [4:25 pm]
evan’s right and you know it
we can just take turns sleeping on the living room floor
evan [4:25 pm]
what if there’s a roach crawling on the floor and it crawls up into one of our noses when we’re asleep
barty [4:25 pm]
NOW WHY WOULD YOU SAY THAT
reggie [4:25 pm]
NOBODY IS SLEEPING ON THE FLOOR.
Guys
Dorcas knows someone who knows someone else who has a room available and I’d much rather sleep in there than on the floor
I looked into it a little more before and it’s also nearby
evan [4:26 pm]
WHAT
barty [4:26 pm]
REG U TRAITOR
evan [4:26 pm]
REGGIE
UR ACTUALLY LEAVING US
barty [4:26 pm]
HOW DARE U
IS THIS THE END OF OUR 6 YEAR LONG FRIENDSHIP
evan [4:26 pm]
it is isn’t it WOWW
no but joking aside
regulus.
i swear to god
reggie [4:26 pm]
Stop being dramatic idiots
It’s only gonna be for a year anyways
“I still don’t like this,” Barty mutters, scowling and crossing his arms. Regulus had just recently ended a call with Drocas, who’d given him the number of his potential floormate and an encouraging bid of good luck. “What if you end up rooming with a murderer?”
Regulus sits back and raises his eyebrow at him. “So you’re telling me you think Marlene’s friends with a couple of murderers? I’m gonna tell Dorcas you said that.”
“I’m saying what-if. We’re considering the different risks and possibilities, Reg.” Barty points an accusing finger at Regulus. “And god, don’t you dare —she’s going to set her scary girlfriend on me, and then we really are going to end up with a murder case on our hands.”
Regulus snorts, bringing his knees to the top of the armchair he was sitting comfortably on. They’re currently dwelling at Pandora’s apartment for the time being, something that Regulus was intensely grateful for. Pandora had offered up her own space for their temporary home, insisting that it was alright since her roommates aren’t moving back in until their classes resume after the summer. Nevertheless, he wanted to avoid overstaying his welcome.
“Barty, you’ve been acting like a mother hen the entire day. Stop it. That job usually belongs to Evan.”
“Shut up, you twat. This wouldn’t be happening if you’d just stay with us.”
“No, you shut up. I’m going to be fine—Dorcas usually has good tastes in friends so I expect Marlene to be the same, and I trust her judgment. Stop worrying about it.”
Despite what Regulus said, the frown doesn’t leave Barty’s face; in fact, his uncertain expression seemed to grow even more pronounced. There’s tension spreading to his hands, which clench and unclench in a tight bundle of nerves.
“I know, I know. It’s just—you’ve finally had a good year for once, you know? All of us made it out of there together,” he mumbles, looking down. “And then I pretty much ruined everything by setting our apartment on fire. I’m sorry for that, really. Frankly, I should be the one who’s moving out. Permanently.”
Oh.
Regulus’s face softens, and he smacks Barty’s arm in response. “Ow!” Barty splutters automatically before glaring at Regulus. “What the hell was that for?”
“For being an idiot,” Regulus retorted. “You know that Evan and I had forgiven you, like, days ago. Don’t forget you also covered all the expenses of the fire even when we both told you not to.”
“But still, it’s true. I should’ve—”
“Barty, what’s done is done, and you’ve made up for it. We’re not going to leave you for something that you didn’t intentionally do to hurt us. Besides, it was actually sort of hilarious.”
Barty looks up at him and Regulus takes the chance to lighten the conversation. “You’ve said it before too, Umbridge is an asshole—the shit she spews out is as bad as the things that my shitty parents used to say. We’ve been meaning to find a better place months ago so that we could finally stop dealing with her bullshit. It was really a matter of time. Honestly, I’d been planning on running her over at least once before we left.”
Barty weakly chuckles. Some of the tension leaves from his shoulders, making him look softer under the living room light. “Don’t let Even hear you say that. He said you should work on being kinder.”
“Evan can go suck a dick.” Barty snorts in amusement and Regulus continues. “And well, since we’re on the topic of Evan and dicks, maybe sharing an apartment will finally give you the chance to stop pining after him and ask him out already. I’m tired of both of you flirting around me.”
“I am not pining.” Barty falters, and there’s red dusting his ears and cheeks to contradict what he just said. “Besides, I’m not sure if he even likes me that way.”
“You so are, it’s so disgustingly obvious. Anyone with eyes can see that you both act like an old married couple.”
“Okay, okay—anyways, changing the subject here. Who’s the roommate you’re currently leaving us for?”
Regulus makes a face. “Dorcas said his name is James.”
“Ah, James, like the name of that guy from high school?”
“God, don’t remind me. It’s been several years since I’ve last seen him. I highly doubt I’ll ever bump into him or his group again.”
“Y’know, your brother was in that group you’re talking about.”
“He’s not my brother.” Regulus averts his eyes and lightly tugs the loose thread on his sweater sleeve. There’s one of Pandora’s films playing on the television screen, and he lets the drone of the show play in his head. “We haven’t been brothers since he cut contact all those years ago.”
chat: regulus, Unknown number
friday
regulus [9:43 pm]
Hey is this James?
I think Dorcas or Marlene has mentioned me before but I wanted to inquire about your open room
Unknown Number [10:06 pm]
oh hey! u must be reg. marls mentioned u
the room’s still open if ur interested :)
regulus [10:08 pm]
Oh nice thank you
I’ll take a look at the apartment after my shift ends if that’s ok?
james [10:08 pm]
sickk sounds good
where do u work at?
regulus [10:08 pm]
I work at Salazar’s
It’s sort of near the apartment
james [10:09 pm]
OHH WAIT YEAH i think marlene’s mentioned it a few times before
i’m not too familiar with the area quite yet
regulus [10:09 pm]
Oh I thought you lived in this apartment previously?
james [10:09 pm]
nopee my friends and i transferred here around a week ago >:)
i was originally supposed to share the apartment with wormtail but he ended up deciding to move into a dorm
regulus [10:09 pm]
Wtf is a wormtail
That really sucks though I’m sorry that happened
Especially that last minute too
james [10:10 pm]
yea :(( at least it’s given me a chance to meet new ppl
like u! haha
and u mean WHO is a wormtail
regulus [10:10 pm]
That made absolutely no sense
james [10:10 pm]
wormtail is a nickname created by urs truly
mine is prongs
regulus [10:10 pm]
Prongs like the deer??
james [10:10 pm]
yup lol
it's a long story
regulus [10:10 pm]
You’re absolutely terrible at choosing nicknames
james [10:10 pm]
that’s a lie how dare u
i’m literally the best with nicknames
i’m 10000% sure u’ll like the other nicknames that i created
regulus [10:11 pm]
Well from the examples you’ve given me already I’d beg to differ
I’m scared to hear the other nicknames you made
james [10:11 pm]
WOWW
i can feel my heart shattering to pieces
ur being very rude to your roommate rn >:((
regulus [10:12 pm]
Ah oops sorry for saying the truth
I also didn’t know we were established roommates already
james [10:12 pm]
we’re now roommates (if ur still interested!) since u seem pretty cool and i’ve taken a liking to u despite how mean u are
but u can make that up to me by treating me to a cup of coffee tmrw!
regulus [10:12 pm]
You're lucky that I’m unfortunately still interested
When are you free?
james [10:13 pm]
HAH i knew u liked talking to me too
i’m free anytime after 2
regulus [10:13 pm]
I’m already regretting my decision
Come at 4:30
That’s around the time when my shift ends
james [10:13 pm]
ooo bossy
i’ll be there :))