Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Billy’s cast had come off two weeks ago. His wrist was healed for the most part; he was only trying to regain his full mobility back now. It locked up every once in a while. 

Basketball practice had been going well. He still attended and played while his wrist was broken because that’s just how Billy was. He was the best player on the team, surprisingly, and everybody knew it. It would be cutting it close to play a game with him benched. 

It was a Thursday which meant Billy was at the high school late at night. He liked to workout after basketball practice while his adrenaline was still high and ever since Neil got arrested, he was actually able to. He didn’t push himself too hard; just lifted weights, mostly. Their first game was on Friday and Billy wanted to improve his strength as much as he could before then. Given he only had one day left, but he had been working out every Tuesday and Thursday for the past four weeks. He had gotten stronger, that much was for sure. 

It was nearing 9:30pm when Billy had finally finished showering and packed his things up to leave. He dumped his belongings into his backpack, then grabbed his car keys and walked out of the locker room. It was always somewhat eerie walking through the school hallways at night alone. They held an uncomfortable feeling that never failed to put him on edge. Billy walked out the set of double doors and headed towards the parking lot where his camaro was parked. He scuffed when his car came into view because there was another car parked in the space directly next to him. The whole damn parking lot was empty yet they chose to park right there . Billy was ready to give them a piece of his mind as he approached the cars. However, when he finally walked up in between the cars and to his driver's side door, he found their driver's seat empty. He shook his head irritated. 

He was in the process of unlocking his car when he heard footsteps behind him. He started to turn around but was immediately caught off guard when a pair of hands pulled something over his head. He punched blindly, fight or flight kicking in, until another pair of arms wrapped around his torso, keeping his arms by his sides. 

Billy kicked and screamed as he was dragged backwards. Yet another person was grabbing his legs and hauling him into a car. The trunk of a car , his brain supplied helplessly. The trunk was closed harshly and Billy felt the car’s engine rumble to life. He pulled the bag off of his head, but it did not change the fact that he could not see anything. The trunk was pitch black. 

The realization of what was happening started to set in and his breath picked up. No no no no no this can’t be happening. It wasn’t something that he could just walk away from. This wasn’t Neil beating him, or him picking a fight with his classmate. No, this was a real threat. These people might kill me. Billy thought as he continued to hyperventilate. 

The ride was extremely bumpy; there was no way they were driving on pavement. They had to be driving over dirt. They’re gonna kill me and dump me out in the woods. A few tears slipped from Billy’s eyes without his consent. He was absolutely terrified. 

Okay, okay. When they open the trunk I need to kick them; my legs are stronger than my arms. It’s okay. I can do this. I can do this. 

However the more Billy thought about what he was about to have to do, the more his mind tried to flee into his headspace. He couldn’t do this. He was too afraid; he needed somebody else to come fix this problem for him.

Billy wiped his eyes and he attempted to even his breathing. He tried to focus but he could feel himself slipping and there was nothing he could do to stop it. He was so scared. He was about to die. For a moment Billy wondered if your life could flash before your eyes that soon before death, because all he could see was Max. He saw Max smiling and laughing, and tried not to sob over that fact that he was never going to see her again. 

Billy dropped hard. 

The tears had stopped but he was hardly breathing. He had never been so afraid before in his life. He didn’t know where he was, or what was happening. He needed Max desperately. 

The car stopped. Billy heard voices outside but all he could do was lay there completely frozen and petrified. The voices were laughing. 

The trunk opened and Billy was immediately blinded by a flashlight shining in his eyes. Two sets his arms grabbed him again and pulled him out of the trunk. The bag was pulled over his head too. 

“Alright, Hargrove! Now move!” 

Hands pushed on his back and dragged him forward. The slight wind and leaves crunching beneath their feet told him that they were outside. He was so scared. They walked for a few minutes and then he was shoved down to the ground. The bag was pulled off of his head too. 

And he was surrounded. 

Six beasts stood around him, circling him. They had big teeth and scary eyes and Billy had never been so afraid in his life. They are gonna eat me!

He was too Little to notice that the beasts were wearing the letterman jackets of the opposing team for Friday's game. And how the big scary teeth were really made out of cheap plastic. 

Billy’s face crumbled and he cried. 

The beasts immediately began to laugh at him. “Jesus christ, Hargrove! You’re a fucking pussy!” 

Billy cried louder. He was so afraid. 

One of the beasts suddenly stood very still. It slowly pulled its face off to reveal a person; a teenager. He stared at Billy for a moment. 

Billy desperately held his arms out towards the guy, Pick me up! Pick me up! I’m so scared! Save me from these monsters! Please! 

The guy stared at him for half a second longer, then turned to the monster standing beside him and shoved his chest hard. “He’s a fucking Little. You’re gonna get us fucking arrested!” 

All of the masks slowly came off after that and Billy realized he was actually surrounded by high school guys. They may have been assholes, but even they weren’t going to stand there and laugh at a crying Little — that was just something you didn’t do. 

They were less scary once their masks came off, but Billy still didn’t know who any of them were. He was still so afraid.

“Well how the hell was I supposed to know he’s a Little?!” 

“Jesus christ, man!” 

Billy had not stopped crying. He was still loudly sobbing in the middle of the woods surrounded by six stupid high school guys. 

Someone came up next to him and awkwardly put their hand on his shoulder. Billy continued to cry. 

The two guys were still yelling at each other.

“Well what the hell are we supposed to do with him now?! We can’t just leave him here!” 

A third voice spoke up, “We need to take him home.”

“I don’t know where he fucking lives, dumbass!” 

“Well what are we supposed to fucking do?!” 

The guy beside Billy started rubbing his back, but it did little to calm him down. It was obvious that none of them were Caregivers, and Billy was practically inconsolable by that point. Billy stuck his fingers into his mouth and the dirt from the ground stuck to his tongue. They looked at him slightly grossed out, but none of them stopped him or told him to take his hand out of his mouth. 

“This is all your fault!” They were still at it; the first guy to notice Billy was Little walked over and harshly jabbed his finger into the other guy’s chest.

“My fault?!” 

“Yes! This was your fucking idea and look what happened!” 

The first guy took a few steps towards Billy and pointed at him, “Look at him! What the fuck are we supposed to do with him?!” 

The other guy, who was obviously the ringleader to the whole situation, held his head in his hands. Quietly he spoke, “I don’t know.” 

The guy rubbing Billy’s back spoke from beside him, “We could drop him off at the police station. They won’t know it was us. We can literally kick him out of the car and drive off.” 

The ringleader shook his head, “They’ve got us on camera at the school. That will just make it worse. . .Maybe if we go in and explain it won’t be as bad.” 

It was completely silent aside from Billy’s crying. 

The first guy loudly sighed, “We have to. Anything else will get us arrested.” 

. . .

They all ended up back in the car as they drove towards town. Billy didn’t have to ride in that trunk this time. The car only seated five, but all seven of them managed to squeeze in. 

Billy was sitting on one of their laps in the backseat, despite the fact that he was more muscular and heavy than most of them. There was no way in hell he was going to let anyone sit on his lap in the state he was in.

“Where the hell is the police station even at?” the driver asked. Shotgun responded, “Just keep driving; it's a little farther west.” 

Billy sucked on his fingers the entirety of the ride. The suckling noise was kind of irritating to listen to, but they were just relieved he was done with the loud sobbing. Tears continued to run down his cheeks, but at least he was quiet. 

“Oh shit! FUCK!” 

“What?! What the hell is your problem?” 

“He’s fucking pissing on me!” 

The guys in the front of the car laughed. “Well, that’s what you get for helping us fucking kidnap him.” 

They pulled up in front of the police station a few minutes after that. All seven of them got out of the car. Both Billy, and the guy he was sitting on, had wet pants. That guy looked pissed. The ringleader grabbed Billy’s arm, “Let’s go, Hargrove.” He dragged Billy into the building. 

They walked up to the front desk. A woman who looked entirely too tired to be working looked up. “Can I help you?”

The ringleader awkwardly smiled at her, “Hi, uh we uh play Hawkins high school tomorrow for a basketball game, so we uh, like because it’s a tradition, we wanted to prank Hargrove, but we um we didn’t know he’s a Little and he uh- he dropped. And we don’t know where he lives to take him home.” 

She looked at them with a mix between irritated, disappointed, and angry when she finally spotted Billy. Scared, sad, crying, Little Billy. She yelled over her shoulder but did not break eye contact, “Phil!”

An officer walked up to them and gave a tight lipped smile. 

“These boys decided to prank Billy and he dropped into headspace.” 

Callahan looked at each of them with a disappointed expression. Hopper told the entire station to keep a close eye on Billy especially after they arrested his father.

“You better call Hopper.” Then he turned back to the guys, “And none of you are leaving until he gets here.” They all nodded their heads quickly. 

Callahan gently led Billy farther down the hall, leaving everyone else at the front desk. He led him up to Mary’s desk; she was a Caregiver. “Some kids scared him and he dropped. Can you help him get cleaned up?” She looked up at Billy sadly, “Of course. Poor baby.” 

Mary led Billy around the corner to the bathroom and grabbed him some clean clothes. She guided him into the bathroom with her and closed the door behind them. Billy was visibly dirty. He had dirt on his clothes, hands, and face from sitting on the ground in the middle of the woods.

Shy griminced when Billy’s dirty hands made their way into his mouth. “Okay, sweetheart. Let’s wash your hands. It’s okay.”

She led Billy over to the sink and helped him scrub all of the dirt off his hands. “Okay, let’s get you into some dry clothes.” 

She helped him into a diaper and Hawkins PD sweatpants and t-shirt, just like last time. Then, she wet some paper towels and cleaned off his face; the dirt and the tears. “There we go.” 

Mary put her hands on Billy’s shoulders and smiled, “Do you want to lie down? I can set you up on the couch in Hopper’s office while we wait for him.” Billy nodded, but he stuck his bottom lip out and his chin wobbled. She gently ran a hand over his face, then led him down the hallway to Hopper’s office and guided him over to the couch. Billy climbed onto the couch and stuck his fingers in his mouth, again trying to soothe himself. “Let me go see if I can find you a blanket. I’ll be right back.” 

She left the room and Billy closed his eyes for a moment, while he cried. He was tired and upset, and he was still scared. Mary walked back into the room with a worn blanket and a pacifier, “Look what I found you!” Billy immediately did grabby hands for the pacifier. She handed it to him, then covered him with the blanket. “You try and get some sleep. Hopper’s going to be here soon. And if you need anything I’m just outside, okay?” She smiled at him, then briefly rubbed his shoulder and closed the door behind her. Billy looked around the room, his face fell, and he cried. 

. . .

“Okay, kid. Did you put the tape in?” Hopper sat down in his chair with a bowl of popcorn. El nodded. The opening scene of ET rolled across the screen. It was the fifth time they watched it that month. It was El’s favorite movie. 

The phone across the room started to ring. El looked over at him. He smiled, “Ignore it. Tonight is our movie night. Work can wait.” El smiled back at him. 

They continued watching the opening of the movie until the phone rang for a second time. El glanced over at him nervously. Hopper sighed, “Let me just see who it is. . .” He slowly got up and walked over to the phone. 

“Yeah?”

He paused. “What do you mean they pranked him?” 

“Hang on- yeah, yeah, of course. Give me like twenty minutes. Alright.” He hung up the phone.

El looked at him sadly, “You have to leave?” 

Hopper sighed, “Kid, I’m sorry. It’s an emergency. I have to.”

“Billy?”

“Yeah, it’s Billy. Some kids played a mean trick on him. I have to go pick him up.”

“Okay.”

“El, I’m sorry. I’ll be back as soon as I can.”

. . .

Hopper walked through the front doors of the police department exactly eighteen minutes later. He was met with six boys who looked very nervous and very guilty. He put his hands in his pockets. “Well which one of you’s gonna tell me what happened?” 

Nobody said a word and Hopper raised his eyebrows. 

“We- We play Hawkins tomorrow night at the basketball game. And uh, we have a tradition to prank the- the best player on the team.” 

Hopper looked at them expectantly, “I already know that. What. did. you. do?”

The kid swallowed hard, “We scared him. We had masks and we scared him. We didn’t know he’s a Little!” 

Hopper pinched the bridge of his nose, “You. scared. Him.”

They all nodded. 

“What else?” 

“Nothing, sir. Nothing!” 

Hopper sat down on the corner of the front desk and put a cigarette between his lips. “Alright. Here’s what’s gonna happen. You’re all gonna write down your name, address, and phone number. I’m gonna call your parents in the morning. And don’t even think about fudging your information because I will find you! And then , I’m going to ask Billy what happened. So . . . Is there anything else you want to tell me?” 

They all stared at Hopper with wide eyes. Not a single person spoke. Until, one of the quiet kids yelled, 

“We pushed him in the car!” The guys sitting on either side of him punched his arms.

Hopper raised another eyebrow.

“The trunk! We pushed him in the trunk of the car!”

Hopper angrily put his cigarette out, “Jesus fucking Christ!”

Hopper headed straight for his office where he knew Billy was. He walked into the room to find Billy lying on his couch, quietly crying. He immediately walked over to Billy and softly ran a hand over his hair.

Billy looked up at Hopper and cried harder. He stuck his arms out towards him desperately. Pick me up, hold me. I need you. Hopper sat down, pulled Billy into his arms and held him tightly. He ran one hand over the back of Billy’s head and kept his other comfortingly on his back. “I’ve got you. It’s okay, I’ve got you.” Billy cried loudly. 

Hopper held him tighter in the bear hug they were embraced in. He whispered, “It’s okay, Billy. I’ve got you, I’ve got you.” 

They had to have stayed like that for at least twenty minutes. Hopper slowly rocked him, and kept a hand protectively on the back of Billy’s head. 

He didn’t stop even after Billy calmed down. He continued to slowly rock him and hold him tightly. Providing him with the comfort he knew he was neglected his whole life. 

Hopper felt something dripping in his shoulder. He didn’t know if it was tears, snot, or drool, and frankly he didn’t care. He continued to slowly rock Billy. 

By the half hour mark, it became obvious that Billy wasn’t going to move. So, Hopper slowly pulled Billy away from him. The kid had tear stains on his face, red eyes, and snot pooled beneath his nose. Hopper smiled sadly at him.

Hopper reached for the tissues on his desk and grabbed two. Gently, he wiped the snot off of Billy’s face. He pulled the pacifier out of his mouth, and shushed him when he whined, “You can have it right back. I promise. I’m just cleaning you up.” 

Once he finished cleaning his face, Hopper pressed the pacifier back to Billy’s lips. He smoothed Billy’s hair back, away from his face and gently smiled at him. 

. . .

Twenty minutes later, Hopper held Billy’s hand as he led him up the front steps to the cabin. He paused and did his secret knock on the door. When he heard the lock click, he pushed it open by the handle. 

Billy tensed up beside him when El came into view. 

Hopper placed his hand on Billy’s back, “Billy, this is my daughter, El.” Billy looked at her nervously, so Hopper added, “El is friends with Max.” Billy’s head shot towards Hopper at the mention of his sister. 

“Max?”

“Yeah, kid. Max and El are friends.”

“Hi. Billy.” El took a step towards them. Billy stepped closer to Hopper. El did not really look scary, but he had also essentially just been kidnapped so he wasn’t taking any chances. 

Hopper wrapped an arm around Billy’s shoulders. He set down the bag he was holding, filled with clean diapers he took from the station. He squeezed his arm around Billy, “Are you hungry?” Billy looked at him nervously, as if he would be in trouble for saying yes. Hopper put on a show of rubbing his own stomach, “I sure am hungry. El, are you hungry?” She looked at him quizatively. They ate dinner before he left.

“Come on, eggos for everyone; like an early breakfast.” 

Hopper led them all into the kitchen, and got Billy situated at the table. El took a seat beside him. He stuck his fingers into his mouth and El watched him curiously. She had never been around a Little before. Brenner, a man essentially stealing children to turn them into weapons, believe it or not, viewed Littles as a waste of resources. So, that in combination with the fact that she had only lived with Hopper for one short year, she never had the chance to meet a Little. Hopper explained classifications to her one night during dinner. She had seen something on the tv and did not understand. She still did not quite understand as she watched Billy suck on his fingers beside her. 

“Billy. Is. Little.”

Hopper glanced at her over his shoulder, “Yeah, Billy’s Little. Billy’s a young Little.” 

El slightly nodded, processing the new information. 

Hopper walked over to the table with three plates of Eggo waffles. He set one plate in front of El, and the other two in front of his chair. Then, he set the syrup and forks on the table and sat down. El covered her plate in syrup while Hopper quickly cut up Billy’s waffles. He drizzled some syrup on top, then placed the plate in front of Billy. 

Billy sat quietly, like he was not really sure what to do. Hopper picked up Billy’s fork and poked it through one of the pieces. He held the fork out for Billy, “Here you go, kid.” Billy hesitantly took the fork from him, then ate the bite. He paused again and nervously glanced at Hopper. Hopper gave him a reassuring smile, “Go ahead, Billy. You can have as much as you want.” Billy gave a small smile in return, then scooped up another bite. As he brought it up to his mouth, it rolled off his fork and into his lap, leaving a trail of syrup down his shirt. Billy looked up at Hopper with tears in his eyes. 

“No, no, it’s okay. It’s okay. We can clean it up.” 

Billy’s chin wobbled and more tears filled his eyes. Hopper got up and stood next to Billy; he held Billy’s head against his body comfortingly. Billy’s reaction told Hopper that Neil without a doubt beat him before for dropping food. That bastard. He ran his hand over Billy’s hair.

“Billy. Is. sad?” 

Hopper looked at her sympathetically, “He’s scared.” 

“Why. is. Billy. scared?”

Hopper knelt down next to Billy and cupped his face, then brushed his tears away, “You’re not in trouble. Nobody is mad at you, okay?” Billy’s chin continued to wobble, but he nodded his head. 

“. . .Bad man?”

Hopper turned around to look at his daughter, “. . .Yeah, kid; bad man.” 

. . .

After they ate, they all sat down to watch the movie. Hopper quickly learned how clingy Billy was. At first he tried to sit in his chair, but after Billy tried to climb into it with him, then cried when he said they’d break it, they ended up on the couch.  

Billy laid his head down on Hopper's lap and closed his eyes like he usually did with Max. Hopper ran his hand over Billy’s hair the way he learned to do so, as Billy dozed off. Quiet suckling of his pacifier echoed thoughout the room. El watched the pair of them with curiosity. She was still trying to put all of the pieces together involving Littles. Hopper caught her eyes. She held the eye contact. 

“. . .Billy’s papa. is the bad man.” It was not a question the way she phrased it. 

“Yeah,” Hopper said sadly. El nodded like she finally had all the pieces together. 

“Billy. Is Little.” Hopper sighed. She was smarter than she let on. 

“Yeah, kid. Some people don’t like Littles. Just like how some people don’t like gay people; remember when we talked about that?” El nodded her head. She was confused about some of the things she saw in Will’s head when she piggybacked his mind, and she asked Hopper. It prompted a long and meaningful discussion about different peoples views and what was wrong and what was right; it lasted the entire night. “Well, Billy’s dad doesn’t like Littles. He didn’t let Billy be Little and that hurt him. He hurt him a lot.”

El nodded again. “Billy’s dad. is gone?” 

“Yeah, he’s gone.”

“Billy is better. now.” She did not phrase it like a question. She turned back to the movie. 

When it hit 11:00pm Hopper gently woke Billy up, “Hey, kid. It’s time to go to bed.” Billy looked up at him all confused and sleepy, pacifier and all. Hopper smiled at him, “Come on, let's go to bed.” Hopper stood up and helped Billy do the same, then carefully guided him towards the guest room. He helped him get changed then tucked him under the covers. “Goodnight, Billy.” 

“You stay? P’ease?” 

“Uh, yeah, sure. I’ll stay. Close your eyes, okay?” Hopper took a seat at the small desk, and dimmed the lights. Billy tossed and turned for a while, but eventually he laid still. Hopper waited for Billy’s breathing to even out, then quietly left the room. 

. . .

Jim got up at 6:00am to get ready for work, nauseatingly tired. He ate a bowl of cereal then got dressed. He quietly opened the door to the guest room and peered inside. Billy was still asleep, bundled up in the blankets on the bed. He quietly closed the door, then walked into the kitchen and picked up the phone. He dialed the Byers phone number and listened to the dial tone. Over the past few months he had gotten much closer with Joyce. They were now able to bond over being parents, the upside down, and all of the kids they somewhat now felt responsible for. They had become very close friends. So, he felt okay with asking her to come over and watch Billy while he was at work.

“Hello?”

“Hey, Joyce! It’s Hopper.” 

“Hopper? Why are you calling so early? Did something happen? Is El okay?”

“Everything’s fine. I’m calling to ask a favor; are you working today?”

“Yeah, I have a shift at Melvald’s today. I go in at 9:00am.”

Hopper cursed under his breath. Joyce was his first choice. Not only is she a Caregiver, but she is a mother before anything else. 

“Okay, nevermind. I’ll-”

“Well what do you need?”

“No, it’s okay. I’ve got it handled.” 

“Jim.”

“No, really. Joyce, it’s fine. I promise.”

“Well, okay. But call the store if you do need anything!”

“I will. Thanks. Bye.”

Hopper hung up the phone, then picked it back up. He would have preferred for Joyce to come over, but at least he had a few backups lined up. Besides, his second choice in Caregiver also happened to be Hawkin’s best babysitter. 

Chapter Text

The last thing Steve wanted to wake up to on his day off was the phone ringing. And what he wanted even less than that was said phone ringing before 7:00am. 

He groaned and rolled over while the phone continued to ring on his nightstand. He closed his eyes and pushed his head further into his pillow. It felt like forever when it finally stopped ringing. Whoever called can go to hell. Steve only got five seconds of peace and quiet before the phone started ringing again. I swear to god if it's one of my kids needing a ride to school I’m going to strangle them. They know this is my day off!

Steve angrily picked up the phone, “Hello?!” 

“Hey, kid! It’s Hopper, are you busy today?”

“What?”

“I need a favor. Are you busy or not?”

“No, no, I don’t work today. What do you need?” 

“Well, you’re a Caregiver-” Steve sighed loudly into the phone. It’s always the goddamn babysitter. “-I’ve got a Little at the cabin right now and I need someone to look after him while I’m at work.”

Steve paused, “Who is- wait, why do you have a Little?”

“Long story. Yes or no, I’ve gotta find someone else if you can’t do it.” 

“Yes, fine. I’ll be there in like an hour.” 

“Half an hour. I don’t want him to be alone when he wakes up. He’s completely traumatized and El doesn’t know how to handle that.” 

“Hang on, You're leaving me with a traumatized Little?”

“Thanks kid, I owe you.” 

Hopper hung up and Steve listened to the dial tone. He sat frozen for a moment attempting to process what had just happened, then threw a hand up and dropped the phone; it swung back and forth by the cord attached to it. “Okay. Well, I guess this is what I’m doing today, this is great, just great. I’ve always gotta be the babysitter. Why call someone else when you can call Steve? The goddamn babysitter.”

Twenty five minutes later, Steve was walking up the front steps of the cabin, hands shoved in his pockets. He knocked on the door then put his hand back into his pocket. He waited a few seconds, then heard the lock click. He took a step back but nobody opened the door. Steve hesitantly turned the doorknob and pushed the door open. He found El standing a few feet away from the door. 

Steve offered a small smile, “Hey.” He closed the door behind him, “How did you know it was me?” El simply walked over to the kitchen table and held up a note. Steve squinted his eyes until he could see Hopper’s chicken scratch writing on the paper. He nodded. Steve kicked his shoes off then awkwardly took a few steps forward and put his hands on his hips. El watched him silently. 

“Uhh, Hopper called me about a Little. . .?” El nodded then led him towards a closed door. He waited for her to open the door, but once it became clear that she was not going to, he awkwardly reached for the handle. Steve slowly opened the door and peered inside. He couldn’t help but let his mouth hang open when he spotted Billy Hargrove of all people curled up on the bed with a pacifier in his mouth. Steve stood frozen as he stared. There’s no way. That’s Billy. Impossible. No way Billy’s a Little. Have you seen him? There’s no way. 

After about a minute, Steve snapped out of the trance and turned towards El. “That’s Billy.” 

She looked at him blankly, “Yes.”

His hands went back to his hips, “That’s Billy.”

Steve took a step back and ran a hand through his hair; he brought his shoulders up towards his ears, and held his arms out, “That’s Billy.”

El watched him confused. 

He brought a hand up to cover his mouth then breathed in through his nose. Slowly, he sat down on the couch. El continued to watch him quizatively. 

Both of their heads shot towards the bedroom when they heard movement. Steve was immediately on his feet, heading towards the bedroom. He flipped the light on and took a step towards the bed. Billy was squirming and pushing his face into the blankets. He rolled onto his back and opened his eyes. Steve quickly put a friendly smile on his face, “Hi, Billy. My name is Steve.” Billy laid there frozen with fear in his eyes. Steve kneeled down next to the bed so he did not seem so big. “Did you sleep well?” Billy continued to stare at him frozen. 

Thankfully, El walked into the room. “Steve, is. a. friend.” 

Steve smiled lightly, happy to finally have earned the title. 

Billy glanced back and forth between Steve and El. Steve continued to smile at him, “Are you hungry? I can make you some breakfast?”

El smiled, “Eggos?” 

Steve glanced over at her, “Sure. . . “

He looked back at Billy, “What do you think? Eggos sound good?” 

That was the first reaction he got. Billy ever so slightly nodded his head. 

It took another ten minutes before they were able to convince Billy to get out of the bed and sit at the table in the kitchen. El sat next to him just as she had the night before, while Steve stood at the countertop and worked on toasting all of the waffles. Billy had his fingers in his mouth, pacifier forgotten in the bedroom, and a string of drool dripping onto his shirt. Steve walked up to the table with three plates of Eggos. He set them down on the table, then grabbed butter and syrup from the fridge. 

Billy was being overly cautious while he ate and it did not go unnoticed by Steve. He looked back and forth between Billy and El. El was nervously watching Billy as he ate. Obviously they knew something that Steve did not. They ate in silence. 

When Billy had almost completely cleared his plate, Steve got up from the table and wet a towel to clean him up. 

“Hey, Billy-” Steve made sure to hold the towel out so Billy could see it, “-let's get you cleaned up, okay?”

Steve waited for Billy to nod his head before he got any closer. He knew consent for even the smallest things was crucial in traumatized Littles. He started with Billy’s hands, figuring it would be easier for him to warm up to it if he could watch the whole process. Steve gently cleaned all of the sticky syrup off of Billy’s fingers. 

“I’m gonna wipe your mouth off, okay?” Once he received a hesitant nod, Steve moved onto gently cleaning off Billy’s face. It did not take long, but he also didn’t miss the way Billy flinched at the contact. 

Steve smiled at him, “All clean.” Billy gave a small smile in return. 

Steve quickly cleared the table and rinsed the plates off, then neatly stacked them in the sink. Okay, that’s one hurdle crossed. We’re doing good, we’re doing good. I think he’s warming up to me, so that’s good. Okay, I’ve got this, I’ve got this, okay. It’s fine, I’ve got this.

Steve turned back around to face Billy, who was still patiently sitting at the table. Shit. Okay, here we go. I’ve got this. 

Steve placed his hands on his hips, “Okay, buddy. You probably need a change, yeah?”

Billy shook his head no. 

“It’s okay if you do. I just don’t think you’re very comfortable. I think you’ll feel better once you change.” 

Billy looked at him hesitantly, completely unsure of himself. Steve held his hand out for him to take, “Whenever you’re ready, okay?” He offered one last gentle smile hoping it would help him appear more friendly.

Billy stayed where he was sitting at the kitchen table and stared at Steve’s extended hand. Each time he would look up and catch Steve’s eyes, he would receive another smile. 

After a few minutes of staring at Steve's hand, Billy eventually took it. 

“Good job, buddy!” Steve said as he helped Billy stand up. He led him back to the guest bedroom. 

Once they were in the bedroom, it took Steve a few minutes to actually find the clean diapers, but once he did it was all downhill from there. 

And about five minutes after that, they walked hand in hand out of the guest room.

Two hurdle’s crossed. We’re in the clear. I’m good, I’m good, I've got this. 

. . .

By noon, Billy had really started to warm up to Steve. 

Steve was sitting on the couch watching the movie El had put on while watching Billy from a distance. Billy shyly walked up to him. Up until that point, Billy had wanted to play by himself and had alternated between the bedroom and the living room. Steve smiled at him, “Hey! What are you doing?” Billy handed him a book. A children’s book. Steve accepted it, so Billy sat down next to him on the couch. Steve looked over at him worried, “You want me to read this to you?” Billy looked at him hopefully. Steve swallowed hard, “Okay, uhhh. Oh The Thinks. . .you can think. . .”

Steve opened the book. The first page was filled with strange looking characters and colors that wrapped around the font; making the page unnecessarily busy. He cleared his throat, “You think. . . about gloves. You think. . .” Steve looked over at Billy, “I’m not really super great at reading. Are you sure you don’t want to do something else?” Billy looked at him with sad eyes. Steve quietly sighed and looked back at the book. It didn’t take a genius to figure out that Billy was neglected that particular activity as a child. 

Steve looked back down at the page, “You think. . .'' the words floated across the page in a wavy pattern. “Uhhhh. . .” He glanced over at Billy, then back down at the page. “You. . .” The letters danced around and alternated order within the words. God Damn it. 

There was a reason why Steve did not go to college. As much as he would have liked to go, he barely made it through high school. It did not matter just how much time he put into his schoolwork, he just couldn’t do well. After a while, he adopted the ‘I don’t care facadę’. It helped it not hurt so much when he got his graded English essay back and he scored less than a fifty percent. It was easier to just laugh it off with his friends, ‘yeah I wrote it during lunch’ ‘I forgot we even had an essay until this morning’ ‘I hate this class. I’m not gonna waste my life writing stupid papers for it.’ But he did spend time on the papers; he spent days on them. It didn’t matter though. He had not received anything higher than a D on a single essay in his entire life. Steve did try. He tried so fucking hard. 

Fucking dyslexia.

He got diagnosed when he was seven years old. It wasn’t like it really mattered though. His parents weren’t even home to make sure he didn’t starve to death, they sure as hell weren’t going to help him with reading. Steve never received the extra help he so desperately needed. So his teachers, who were unaware of the problem, simply chastised him for his atrocious handwriting, and misspelled words. 

He couldn’t read out loud to save his life, which made itself a known problem throughout high school when they studied plays and took turns reading in class. His teachers merely shook their heads and muttered the word ‘lazy’ under their breath. 

Steve is still a little resentful towards his parents for never getting him help. He accepted the fact that they never would have helped him themselves, that is just who they are, but they could have at least gotten him a tutor or something. He often wonders how he would have turned out if he got help and learned how to read and write in a way that actually made sense to his brain; if he could have gone to college and been successful. But no, he just had to pretend that there wasn’t a problem at all and that he did not have any trouble reading or writing. They really screwed him over in the long run. He had not willingly read a book since before high school graduation. 

Steve looked back over at Billy, who was looking at him expectantly. Fuck it.

Steve looked down at the book and took in the odd looking bird creatures. Fake it till you make it. He cleared his throat. 

“These birds are large creatures that roamed the earth many many years ago-” he turned the page, and took note of the table the creatures sat at, “-they enjoy going to lunch with their friends and they only like to sit at pink tables with blue umbrellas while they eat their lunch.”

No, Steve did not have the ability to read particularly well, but he had an outstanding imagination that made up for it. 

Billy brought him book after book and at some point he laid his head on Steve’s shoulder while he listened. By the time Billy handed Steve the tenth book, El took a seat on the couch on the other side of Steve. He turned to her exasperated, “Why the hell do you have all of these children’s books?” 

“Hopper helps. me. learn, to read.” 

And Steve nodded, because yeah, that made sense. He opened the book on his lap. It was Oscar’s Book. Steve recognized the character from Sesame Street. 

“This is Oscar. He is green and he lives in the garbage.” 

“No.” 

Steve turned towards El; she shook her head, “No. It, says ‘hey. you, came. close. again.”  

Steve threw his head back against the couch. El watched him confused. Steve looked back down at the page. The font did not have serifs, so all of the letters scrunched together and looked the same. There was no way in hell he would manage to get through it actually reading what it said. He turned towards her, then asked nicely, “Would you like to read it to us?” 

She shook her head; Steve could only assume it was also an activity she did not get to experience as a child. Steve sighed as he once again looked down at the book. He did not know why he was so nervous about messing it up; his audience consisted of a Little and a child with superpowers. Steve let out a shaky breath. “Hey, your name again.” 

El’s eyebrows moved together in confusion as she looked down at the page. 

“No-” 

They both jumped when Billy quickly shot up from the couch. “Where am I, what-” his head shot in all directions and his breath quickened. Steve slowly held both of his hands up, “Billy. . .We’re at Hopper's cabin.” 

Billy continued to frantically look around the room, breathing heavily. “No, no; I was outside and the the car and-” he leaned down and placed his hands on his knees while he continued to struggle to breathe. 

“Hey,” Steve slowly stood up, then gently guided Billy to sit down on the couch. “You’re okay; just take some deep breaths.”

Billy loudly hyperventilated and closed his eyes. Steve placed a hand on his shoulder, then rubbed up and down his arm. “You’re safe. Everything’s okay.” Billy shook his head as his breathing remained elevated. El watched them with wide eyes from across the room. 

Steve grabbed both of Billy’s hands and squeezed them, “Billy, hey, look at me. Breathe.” He exaggeratedly breathed in through his nose, then slowly out through his mouth, encouraging Billy to follow along. 

“I think- I think- I think I’m ha-having a heart a-attack.”

“You’re having a panic attack. You’re okay. It won’t last long, let’s just work on breathing. Let’s take a deep breath and hold it. Ready?” Steve took a deep breath, and encouraged Billy to mimic him, “One, two, three, four-” Billy let the breath out and immediately sucked in a loud uneven one. 

“That’s okay, you’re doing good. Let’s try to hold it to eight, okay? I’m right here. I’m right here, Billy. I’m not going anywhere. Let’s count to eight. . . one, two, three, four, five, six-”

Billy let the breath out, “I can’t. I can’t. I can’t. I can’t-”

He was positive he was dying. It had felt like hours since the attack started. He felt sweat drip down his back and his body began to violently shake. Billy lowered his head as the narusa filled his stomach; he was going to throw up.

Steve brought his attention back to his face, “You can. I know you can, Billy. Hey, you can do it. Ready? One, two, three, four, five, six, seven.”

Billy let the breath out. His hands were shaking violently along with his legs, and his ragged breathing vibrated in his throat. 

“There you go. Again, okay? One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight.”

Billy shakily let the breath out. Pressure filled his skull and it made him dizzy. A high pitched whine came out with the breath he let out. 

“You’re doing good. You’re doing good. Deep breaths.”

Billy tried to ignore the mix of dizziness that filled his head and the numb tingling pins and needles feeling that took over his hands. His breathing had reached a more controlled state, thankfully. 

“Good job, good job. You’re doing great.” Steve pointed behind him at the tv. 

“El put this movie on earlier. She said it’s her favorite. Have you seen it?” 

Billy looked past Steve to the tv and it took a moment for his eyes to focus on the small screen. He was still extremely shaky and overwhelmed. ET was on. “Yeah.” 

Steve nodded. “Did you like it?” 

Billy nodded again, “Yeah.” His knees knocked against each other as they continued to shake. 

“What was your favorite part?”

“I don’t know.” 

“Come on, what was your favorite part?” 

Billy took a deep breath, “I guess the part when they’re being chased on the bikes.” 

Steve smiled, “Yeah, I like that part too. . . What other parts do you like?”

Billy thought for a moment. Wait. Hang on. “Why are you asking me so many questions?”

Steve smiled gently, “To distract you.”

“What?”

“To help you calm down. I distracted you and redirected your thinking.” 

“. . .Oh.”

“Hey, it’s okay. Do you want some water?” Billy nodded his head so Steve walked off to the kitchen. Billy took that time to look around the room. He wiped the hair off of his forehead that was stuck in place by sweat. He spotted El in the corner of the room. She was staring at him, and he was not sure what to do so he just stared back until she left the room to go to her bedroom. 

Steve walked back into the room with a glass of water. “Here you go.”

“Thank you.” Billy took a sip and splashed some of it onto his shirt; his hands were still shaking really badly. 

Billy looked up at Steve nervously, almost exactly how he had done at breakfast. Steve smiled sadly at him, “Take your time. You’re good.” 

Steve took a seat on the other end of the couch, and looked at the tv to not make Billy feel so watched. 

About fifteen minutes later, Steve was pulled away from the movie. 

“Where did you learn to do that?”

“Huh? Oh, I took a Caregiving class. It pretty much covered everything.”

Billy nodded, then paused, “Why are you here?”

He looked over at Billy, “What?”

“Sorry, that sounded shitty. But why are you here? ”

“Hopper called me this morning and asked me to come over.”

Steve did not miss the way Billy’s face fell, so he added, “Hey, don’t worry about it. I’m the best babysitter in the area.” 

Billy looked even more guilty. 

“You know, your sister and her friends suggested I change my name to ‘Steve the babysitter Harrington’.” Billy slightly smirked and Steve smiled. 

“Yeah, not as nice of a ring to it as ‘the hair Harrington’ but I like being the babysitter. I like being a Caregiver too; I don’t get to do it very often.” Steve studied Billy’s face as he contemplated his next words, “Speaking of which, I had no clue you’re a Little,” the nervous expression returned to Billy’s face, “I mean, this is Hawkins. It’s not a big town. When someone’s a Little, everyone knows.” 

Billy sat and stared at his hands for a few minutes. 

“It’s not a bad thing obviously, I was just surprised.” 

Billy leaded his head back against the wall, “Don’t feel too special. Nobody knew.” 

“How is that even possible?”

Billy closed his eyes, “Well, I was under the impression that if anyone found out, I was getting a bullet in my head, so nobody found out.” 

Steve’s mouth fell open and he could not close it no matter how hard he tried. Billy looked over at him and laughed sadly, “I’m all kinds of fucked up, Harrington.” Steve’s mouth continued to hang open because one thing was obvious; Billy was not joking. 

“Billy-” 

Billy held his hand up, “Don’t. It’s fine. I’m fine now; he’s gone.”

The pieces slowly clicked together in Steve’s head. When he heard through the grapevine that Neil Hargrove was arrested, that was not what he was invisoning. 

Steve was finally able to get his mouth to close. He swallowed, “How the hell are you not dead?” 

Billy looked at him confused with a hint of anger, “Because I didn’t tell anyone!”

“I’m talking about when you dropped. Something tells me that wasn’t exactly allowed either.”

“Max.” 

“What?”

“Max. She’s the reason why I’m not dead.” Billy’s chin began to wobble and a sob fell from his throat. He covered his face with his hands, “Fuck.” 

All Steve could do was stare. How the hell did he go from talking to yelling to crying in a matter of ten seconds?

Steve placed a hand on Billy’s shoulders awkwardly. 

Billy choked out, “I don’t even know why I’m crying!”

Steve started rubbing his back, “That’s okay. It happens.” 

Billy shook his head as his face scrunched up. The more he thought about Max the more upset he became. He was brought right back to the trunk of that car and the memories of her that flashed through his mind. Billy wiped his eyes, and another sob escaped him. As pathetic as it sounded, he missed Max. So much. He cried harder. 

Steve wrapped an arm around him, “It’s okay.” 

Billy shook his head. 

“I promise it’s okay. This is normal after a forced drop, especially in traumat-” Steve shut his mouth. Billy’s crying hiccuped. “Hey, come here.” Steve stood up, pulled Billy to his feet, then wrapped him in a proper hug. Steve cradled the back of his head and rubbed up and down his back. “It’s okay.” Steve swayed them back and forth comfortingly. “It’s okay.” 

After a few minutes Billy pulled away and wiped his face, “Sorry.”

“Hey. Don't apologize for crying. Never apologize for crying.” Steve paused, then smiled. In an attempt to ease the tension, he said, “If anything you should apologize for making me read you fifty god damn books today.” Steve kicked the books by his feet for emphasis and Billy chuckled. 

“I’m serious, man. That’s all we did today.” 

Billy smiled, “I thought you liked Caregiving.” 

“Yeah, Caregiving. Not reading; I’m fucking dyslexic.”

Billy chucked, then looked at him seriously, “I didn’t know that.”

Steve rubbed the back of his neck, “Well I don’t exactly go around advertising it.”

Billy thought for a moment, “Is that why you didn’t go to college?” 

Steve took a deep breath, placed his hands on his hips, then nodded. 

“I don’t think I’m gonna go to college either. At least not this fall.” Steve looked at him as if he had two heads, “But you’re like good at school. Really, really good at school.”

Billy smiled, looked down and shook his head, “Nah. . . Up until recently I was dropping like twice a year, so that’s gonna take some time to actually recover from. I wouldn’t be able to function in that setting right now.”

For the second time that day Steve’s mouth hung open. Twice a year?! Although he snapped it shut when Billy looked over at him. “I’m still new to this whole ‘being Little’ thing.” Billy shook his head, “I don’t know why I’m telling you all of this.” 

“I’m a Caregiver. It’s what happens. . . Have you never been around a Caregiver before?”

“I mean, just Max.” 

“Max is thirteen. She doesn’t count.”

“Then, no, other than people at school. I haven’t. And they don’t count either.”

Steve walked towards Billy, trying to forget the flinch he received when he got in his personal space, then pulled him into another hug. 

“I’m so sorry.”

Billy accepted the hug and once again wiped his eyes. He pulled away, “It’s not that big of a deal.”

Steve stepped back but kept his hands on Billy’s shoulders, “Yes it is. It’s not healthy to not drop, and having a Caregiver is an important part of that.”

Billy stepped away from Steve’s grasp. He looked down at his feet, defeated, “. . .I know.” 

“Listen, I get that this is all new, really I do, but you can’t seriously tell me that you don’t know how important having a Caregiver is.” 

“I know.”

“So what’s stopping you? Your dad’s gone. Why haven’t you registered for a Caregiver?” 

Billy sat down on the couch, then continued to stare at his feet. 

“You deserve to have one if that’s what this is about.”

Billy threw his head back then glared at Steve, “I’m scared.” He shook his head and laughed, “Not what you were expecting, huh?” 

“Billy. . .”

“My dad beat me my entire life. What if I get a Caregiver who beats me too? What if they take advantage of me? I can’t do that for the rest of my life!” 

All Steve could do was stare. He was at a loss for words. 

Billy spoke quietly, “Max is safe. I trust her. I know she’s not gonna hurt me.”

Steve sighed sadly, “Billy, Max is a kid. You need a real Caregiver, one you’ll be able to build that same trust with and who will take care of you. You’re a young Little, you need someone who will be able to really take care of you. It’s okay to be scared. I get it, I do, I had shitty parents too. They never hit me or anything, but they were never there. And I’m terrified of turning out just like them; neglectful. But I refuse to let that stop me from being able to care for a Little. And you shouldn't let your fear stop you from being loved and taken care of.” 

Billy held his face in his hands and by the way his shoulders were shaking, Steve could tell he was crying. 

Steve took a few steps forward and placed a hand on Billy’s shoulder, “I’m sorry if I upset you, but-”

“No, you didn’t,” Billy shook his head, “I needed to hear that.” 

Steve's shoulders dropped in relief. 

“I actually feel a little better after getting some of that out.” He wiped his face.

“Yeah? That’s good,” Steve took a seat on the couch, opposite of Billy, “If there’s anything else you want to get out, I’m all ears.” 

“I don’t want to force you to be a shrink.” 

“Who said anything about that? We’re just talking. It’s therapeutic to talk.” Billy did not look convinced and Steve continued, “Come, on; I’ll start. It’s good to open up to people. . . So I already mentioned it earlier; I’m dyslexic. The only person I’ve ever told was Nancy and she really figured it out herself. My parents were never home so I never got help, hell I practically raised myself, anyway, I never really learned how to read.”

“Can you? Read, I mean.”

“Not well.” 

“Do you resent them? Your parents.” 

Steve thought for a second, then nodded, “Yeah. I think about it a lot whether or not I could have been successful if they actually helped me.” 

“. . .I resent my dad. I hate him. When I was really young he used to say he was doing it to help me. As I got older he’d hit me all the time and not even give me a reason. Then he married Max’s mom and they moved in and he backed off a little. And theeen , I started showing signs of being Little. You would’ve thought I burned his house down and stole his life savings. The first time he caught me after wetting the bed, he beat me so hard I couldn’t even remember my name.” 

“How old were you?”

“I don’t know. Thirteen, fourteen, old enough that he knew it was a sign. And then there was the time he found my blanket. He made me throw it in our fireplace and sit there and watch it burn until there was nothing left. He hurt me because he found it and he hurt me even more because I cried. . . He used the buckle side that day. It was the first time ever he used that side,” Billy absentmindedly reached a hand across his ribs as if he was reliving it all over again. “I couldn’t sleep for weeks after that. And then Max started to pick up on things. She had just turned eleven and started really learning about classifications at school. I didn’t think she ever saw anything, but she must have, because one day I came home and found her baby blanket on my bed. She gave me her god damn blanket. She was still a kid herself and she gave me her blanket because she saw how much I missed mine.” 

Steve stared at him with an open mouth. 

“I obviously couldn’t keep it. As much as I wanted to. It was hers and I was so afraid of what would happen if he caught me with it. . . But she was always smarter than she should have been. A few weeks after I got classified I started to drop. I fought it off as long as I could, but after a while I started dropping in between headspaces. She of course noticed and started helping me whenever I’d get overwhelmed and start to drop further. . . I can’t remember the first time I fully dropped, but I woke up with bruises and broken bones lying next to her, hiding under her bed. She was there every time after that when I’d dropped.” 

Steve smiled bittersweetly; he wasn’t really sure how to respond to all of that. He settled on, “She’s really something special. I mean she doesn’t even put up with any shit from the party. She knows her worth. . . You’re really lucky to have her.” Billy smiled.

“You know what? I do feel better.”

“See I told you. It’s good to talk through things. And I’d be happy to do this again, or if you need an emergency Caregiver I'm more than willing.” Billy gave him an ingenuine smile. 

“I’m serious Billy. I mean I don’t really have any friends my own age, so that alone would be nice.”

Billy smiled, “I’ll think about it.”