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Fired and Missed, and Missed Again

Summary:

Things have been strange in Hisui for a while, what with those space-time distortions popping up every now and again. And sure, the Hisuians could accept maybe one or two people falling from the sky. It happened.

But multiple people appearing out the blue? That’s a little too much for them to handle.

Or; in which Arceus has the worst aim in all of history and keeps sending the wrong people back in time instead of Emmet.

Chapter 1: Tunnel Vision

Notes:

This is a new crack fic I came up with! I’m gonna try to update this frequently (like once a week frequently?) but no promises! I do have all the chapters planned out however so that should help.

All edited by me, so apologies if there are any mistakes! Enjoy!

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

The soil smelled different.

That should not have been what he was focusing on, but that was all that caught his attention, snout to the ground trying to find any trace back home.

No luck.

This shouldn't be possible. For the ground to smell different.

Excadrill would know.

When he had been a Drilbur, his trainer and his trainer's brother had taken him all over Unova. Fighting gym after gym in exciting battles that eventually led to the crux of Excadrill's evolution into the form he had now.

It was a moment that Excadrill would always cherish. The gyms had been different, as the original leaders from his trainer's gym run had long since retired. But it had been a brilliant battle, electrifying and that was why it was perfect for him to secure his trainer's win. And after he had fainted the last Pokémon he evolved and his trainer had hugged him so tightly. Lifting him up into his arms even if his bigger body was a new, but not unwelcome, change that almost caused him to topple over with Excadrill snug against his chest.

He wished... he could go back to that moment.

But he couldn't, so Excadrill continued to dig.

It, of course, had been many years since his trainer's initial gym run. Considering the subway that he and his trainer's twin had built, Excadrill wasn't used to walking along the different routes anymore and thought it fair that the scents of the region would have changed in that time.

Except that was how it should have gone but instead circumstances made it so that he did know how the region smelled presently.

His trainer's brother had entrusted him with the goal, along with the rest of their Pokémon, to find his trainer.

So Excadrill had searched and searched and searched for years. And he knew intimately what the region smelled like.

This was not Unova.

But he couldn't not be in Unova. That wasn't possible! Excadrill had been digging, because it was faster than getting waylaid by any wild species that wanted to pick a fight with him, still searching and surfacing every so often until he was finally assailed by many unfamiliar scents.

And now, no matter how many new tunnels he dug he just couldn't find soil that smelled correct to him.

No, he wouldn't give up. His trainer wouldn't want him to, and he couldn't leave his trainer's twin all alone either.

Excadrill would not disappear on Emmet like Ingo did.

Digging and digging and digging. He was grateful that he was a Pokémon built for just that.

Now, what Excadrill hadn't taken note of, which he probably should have, was that eventually humans were going to take note of the various holes and new tunnels strewn about the region. In fairness to him, he was sorta preoccupied with the tunnel vision of finding a way home.

He was also not expecting that someone would be able to track him based on his tunneling patterns.

When he surfaced next, finding himself in a cave of some sort- and he took note of a particularly hostile Onix in the area, it seemed as though the Pokémon of wherever he found himself were... far more dangerous than the wild Pokémon of Unova- he once again got to scenting the area.

Just when he thought there was nothing familiar- another dud- a scent tickled at his snout. Excadrill paused, racking his brain on why he knew that scent, which smelt slightly of earth on top of a smothered electric twang that he associated with humans who had at least one electric Pokémon.

Kind of how his trainer used to smell... but more so his trainer's twin who let Eelektross curl around his body every now and again.

Then, an accented voice echoed through the tunnel, "I'm tellin' ya, this is where it's gonna emerge again, you'll see."

A pre-evolved human, Excadrill concluded noting the pitch. Baby humans were funny little things, since sometimes he felt as thought they should more aptly be in Eggs still, with the way they crawled around and babbled about. It took a couple of levels before they started acting as baby Pokémon should, but he had to admit it was amusing. His trainer was... he was very good at handling baby humans.

The baby human was probably talking to his minder, which meant a possible trainer. And Excadrill really didn't want to get into a Pokémon battle, not when he had such an important mission to fulfill. So even though something about the second scent poked at his memories he began to tunnel once more.

But before he could shuffle along more than a couple of steps away from the hole he created, he heard a voice he hadn't heard in years.

"I don't doubt you, Lian. But is this Pokémon- whatever it may be- truly causing such a disturbance that we need to hunt it down?"

Excadrill started shuffling around in a hurry. That had to be-

"Yes! Well, no, not really," the baby human was sheepish. "I've jus' never seen tunnels like these before. I'm kinda curious what kind of critter is making them."

There wasn't enough light in the tunnel to make a shining halo where his entry point was, but from the hope that was welling inside of him, it might as well have been streams of light descended from the Alpha Pokémon itself.

Now that he had re-emerged, Excadrill could see the baby human in clarity, noting that he sort of reminded him of that one gym leader Clay. Had his attention not been split elsewhere, he might have focused more on the similar but slightly different hat, and the wide-eyed look he gave at the sight of Excadrill before pointing and exclaiming, "There it is!"

His attention, of course, landed squarely on the sight of his trainer. And it was his trainer.

Sure, he may have looked more bedraggled, and his poor coat! Some awful Pokémon must have clawed at it while he was stuck in this unknown place that didn't smell like anything that Excadrill had scented before. His trainer was scruffy, he had a beard now, but that was his trainer!

He couldn't stop himself- and he was sure any of his other compatriots would have done the same had they been the one to discover their trainer first- he leapt out of the tunnel and ran up to his trainer, bawling.

"Ingo!" he wailed, raising his claws up to the man, wanting to be embraced so badly. "I missed you!"

Even though it had been years, Excadrill was so sure that his trainer would have been just as delighted to see him as he was to see Ingo.

But through his tears, he didn't notice the way that the baby human jumped back at the sight of an unknown Pokémon rushing at them, who had its claws raised.

And completely missed the baby human attempting to pull back Ingo with a panicked, "Grampa, careful!"

Nor could Excadrill have been aware at all that his trainer, the lost Subway Boss Ingo, couldn't in fact miss him as he didn't remember him to begin with. But Ingo did not flinch back the way that Lian did, and even though his memory cars were still disconnected, something inside of him forced him to his knees to catch this Pokémon that he both did and did not know into his arms.

He was careful going about it, having noted the sharp points that littered the anatomy of the Pokémon. But it was almost like he had the muscle memory for cuddling this species, as he easily maneuvered the stout Pokémon into a hold that would avoid his claws and spikes.

Finally hugging his trainer once more, Excadrill devolved into more sobs clutching tightly onto the man. Any attempt at rationality was thrown out the subway car doors and all he could focus on was the heat generating from the man, and the way that he could feel his heart beating against his own chest.

"There, there," Ingo said, confused, but comforting the Pokémon nonetheless. He ran a hand up and down the back of the Pokémon, quelling his cries until he devolved into frequent sniffles instead.

Lian, having relaxed, stared at the unknown creature in the older warden's arms. He asked, "What is that?"

Ingo reflexively opened his mouth to answer, but stopped when nothing came forward. He could only say, "You know, I'm not entirely sure."

The younger warden pouted but nodded, approaching closer. He hesitated to pet the Pokémon, not only because it was one that he had never seen before, but also because well. It looked deadly to touch.

Undeniably cool though. Not as cool as Lord Kleavor, of course, as no Pokémon in the whole world could compare to his might in Lian's eyes. But cool nevertheless.

It was with great effort that Ingo stood up, leaning forward and pushing the creature further into his chest- which it seemed that he did not mind at all, and even preferred to snuggle closer to Ingo- as he braced his knees. They creaked with the effort, and his back was straining in a way that let him know it was not happy with his insistence to hold onto the somewhat heavy Pokémon.

Lian reached up a hand to steady him, which Ingo appreciated.

"I think I should bring him to Professor Laventon in the Galaxy Team," Ingo told him. "Perhaps he'll know what species our friend here is."

"Alright," Lian nodded, sniffing before bringing the bottom palm of his hand to rub at his nose, smearing little traces of dirt across his face. "Well, I'm jus' gonna check that none of the tunnels collapsed anythin' too important. You gonna bring 'im back?"

Ingo watched as Lian attempted to conceal his interest in the Pokémon, and so hid his own smile, "If you should like that."

Lian looked up with a nonchalant expression, "Maybe."

"Then I will," Ingo started to turn toward the exit of Oreburrow Tunnel before he paused, the full events finally catching up to him. "Pardon, did you call me Grandpa earlier-"

The younger warden flushed, face turning a Cheri red as he exclaimed loudly, "I ain't call you nothin'!" Lian was a mess of wild movements, clearly flustered at what was undeniably a slip of the tongue, one that he had hoped Ingo had ignored or didn't hear entirely. But now that it was called to attention, he wished the other man would just leave.

"I could have sworn-"

And Lian conveyed this by rushing forward to push at Ingo's back, loudly saying, "Go! Get! Now! Don't you have a professor to speak to?!"

The unknown Pokémon paused his crying to look down at Lian in a way that felt purely judgmental. As though he were not being a crybaby just a few seconds ago.  And Ingo couldn't quiet his chuckles fast enough, meaning that Lian heard him.

It wasn't possible for Lian to have gotten even more embarrassed, and it felt like his tiny body would explode with the effort that he said, "LEAVE!"

Deciding to take pity on the small boy, despite the fact that his age had taken a bruising from the comment- Ingo was not elderly enough to be called 'Grandfather' thank you kindly- Ingo left before Lian buried himself in the left behind hole to stop from making an even further fool out of himself.

"Well, it's not that far of a walk to Jubilife," Ingo spoke to the Pokémon once outside of the tunnel system. He hefted him up in his arm to readjust his grip, and pointed forward.

To his surprise, that sparked excitement within the Pokémon, and just as he pointed to call, "All aboard!" the Pokémon mimicked him with one set of claws and called out in his own tongue what Ingo presume was the same phrase.

Ingo didn't let it phase him for more than a momentary pause, however, and only shook his head before trudging forward.

Normally he could make such a trek to the village in a little under an hour- his legs were well used to walking long distances by now- but his pace had slowed considerably to accommodate the extra baggage that was the Pokémon.

The one time he tried to set him down, the poor thing had clung on so tightly that Ingo was sure that there would be new rips in the back of his coat so he gave up the fruitless endeavor.

When Lian had sought him out for help dealing with an unidentifiable Pokémon digging tunnels all across the Fieldlands, Ingo never expected for the one responsible to be so... clingy.

But he also never expected that he wouldn't have minded that either, the weight in his arms so familiar and comforting. A part of him, hidden away in his memories, was loath to part with the newfound creature.

Ingo hoped that the professor would know what Pokémon this was, so that Ingo could properly address him. 

And also perhaps invite him to become one of his own battle partners as well.


Elsewhere, up in the heavens Arceus felt like slamming its divine head into a brick wall.

It had not meant to send one of his creations back into the past. He was aiming for the other Subway Boss.

Honestly, it hadn't even been aware that one of the train fellows had fallen through a distortion and appropriately wound up in the past. And when it found out that the human had also lost his memories it was aghast at the carelessness of his children for creating that mess in time and space.

It, of course, placed no blame on itself for not paying attention in the first place. It was busy doing important godly stuff. You know how it is being the divine creator of all.

So, in an attempt to right the wrongs of its children, it decided to grant the human the magnanimous act of reuniting him with his brother.

But it had somehow missed. And accidentally caught the human's Excadrill partner instead.

Well. No matter. 'Twas not a mistake actually, it meant to do that.

Not many knew, but Arceus was actually an expert in never making mistakes.

Summoning its divine power, it got ready to actually send back the second Subway Boss this time. "Let us try again."

And if it missed twice- not that it would or that it even did the first time…- it would just try again. And again.

However many times it took until it got it right.

Notes:

When coming up with this, the basic premise was this: every single person (and some Pokémon too) besides Emmet gets sent back in time XD.

The only reason why this has no concrete chapter count is because I keep giggling coming up with even more absurd characters to add to my spinner wheel. I’m sure I’ll expend my rule of laugh eventually.

Also I love using Arceus as a plot device. It’s my right for fighting that asshole in space for a good hour straight dodging left and right… smh.

Preview of the next chapters title!
Leavanny? No I Said, “Let me Be!”

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