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Meeting Miles Quaritch felt like a breath of fresh air after having been forced to listen to science talk for hours on end, Jake found. It had only been a few days since he’d woken up in this new world, but he was already tired of seeing the disappointment on people’s faces once they realized that he wasn’t his brother Tommy.
Quaritch didn’t seem disappointed, and it became clear pretty quickly why that was. Jake listened in silence as the man made him an offer he couldn’t refuse.
"You get to me what I need, and I’ll make sure you get your legs back when you rotate home," Quaritch told him, his blue eyes pale, intense. There was a sort of fire in those eyes that Jake respected, a determined glint that reminded him, in some ways, of himself. But there was darkness there, as well. This was a man capable of great violence, Jake knew it without a doubt.
He smiled up at the man, never once breaking their gaze. "Sounds real good, sir."
…
Things were going well. Great, even. Jake had spent most of the day lying in his link unit, taking Tommy’s Avatar -- his Avatar now, he reminded himself -- out for a walk. He wasn’t sure anymore what he’d expected it to be like, but reality had exceeded all his expectations and ground them into dust.
He couldn’t remember the last time he’d felt so alive. Feeling the warm earth beneath the soles of his feet, the wind brushing over his bare skin… it had been glorious, wonderful, and he was already itching to do it again.
Thankfully, he wouldn’t have to wait long. Grace Augustine had dropped by earlier; apparently Selfridge had given them the green light and they were set to leave the base tomorrow. She didn’t seem too happy about the fact that he was coming along, her displeasure evident in every line of her body. To her, he was nothing more than yet another man holding a gun.
Shifting to get more comfortable on the narrow bed, Jake pulled the plain white cotton sheets up to his shoulder and closed his eyes. He was just about to drift off when a sudden noise coming from the common area had his eyes flying open once more. A crash, followed by a low curse.
Resigning himself to the fact that he wasn’t going to get a lot of sleep that night, he moved toward the edge of the bed and heaved himself into his wheelchair, starting for the door.
At first glance, the common area appeared to be empty. Most lights were switched off, the table in the center of the room projecting no hologram at this time of day. Thinking that whoever or whatever -- and wasn’t that a scary thought, being on an alien planet and all? -- had made the noise must’ve already left, Jake made to turn away, when--
"In here, Corporal."
Jake froze at the sound of Quaritch’s voice. Frowning slightly, he peered into the darkness, trying to determine where the Colonel’s voice had come from. Sure enough, it wasn’t long until he noticed that one of the doors at the opposite end of the room had been left ajar. It was the room where the Avatar’s were being kept.
Moving closer, Jake pushed the door open further and found the Colonel sitting on a plastic chair, his legs slightly spread, one hand holding a steaming cup of coffee resting on his thigh. He didn’t look up as Jake entered the room, gaze firmly trained on the huge tank in front of him containing an Avatar’s body. It was the only tank not currently empty.
"Having trouble sleeping, Colonel?"
The man dragged his gaze away from the tank and gave him an unimpressed look, face looking pale in the luminous blue light of the tank.
"Have you?"
"Me? No, no, I was about to sleep, actually. Then I heard this strange noise…" Jake shrugged and gave the man a teasing look. "Sounded suspiciously like someone punching the wall."
The man made a noise that almost sounded like a laugh, though he quickly tried to cover it with a scoff. He lightly raised the hand holding the cup of coffee, giving Jake a look as if this explained everything.
"Vending machine wouldn’t start, as usual. You’d think they’d have a working one in a place like this, but no. They just had to leave all the good stuff on earth."
Jake’s lips twitched at the mental image of the Colonel standing in front of the vending machine and staring it down in an attempt to get it to release his coffee. The man threw him a brief glance, and much to Jake’s surprise – returned the smile, amusement sparkling in his blue eyes for the shortest of moments before fading away once more. Then he turned his gaze away and went back to staring at the tank in front of him, expression thoughtful.
For a moment no one said anything, the silence only broken by the man taking the occasional sip of coffee and the low humming of the tank.
"This one’s mine," Quaritch abruptly said, indicating the tank with a small jerk of his head. Jake followed his gaze to the Avatar within and sure enough, he recognized the Colonel’s features, his strong jaw and thin lips. The only thing missing were the three scars on the side of his head.
"They gave you an Avatar?" Jake asked, surprised. The man hummed. Jake watched him raise his coffee cup to his lips and empty it in a few large gulps, before saying,
"Yes. The Avatar’s bodies are stronger than ours, more resilient. I’m to use it should things get ugly, if I think I need it."
"But you’re not going to…?"
The man let out a scoff. "Why would I? Unlike your science buddies, I don’t feel the need to go down there and communicate with these savages. Besides, I like the way things look from up here."
Jake refrained from mentioning that his ‚buddies‘ had made it quite clear already that he wasn’t welcome here, that they’d rather his brother was there, and not him. Then again, there was a good chance the Colonel was already aware of that, anyway.
The man abruptly turned toward him, his chair making a loud screeching noise as it was dragged across the floor. He leaned in slightly, close enough for Jake to see the darker flecks of blue in his eyes.
"So I hear you’re leaving tomorrow?“ He asked, and Jake blinked at the abrupt change of topic. "Think you can do it?"
The man’s eyes were blue and attentive. Expectant.
Jake didn’t look away. Instead, he leaned in as well, closer to the man. "I can do it," he said firmly, folding his hands in his lap. He’d been given three months to earn the Na’vi’s trust and convince them to leave their home, and he was determined to do just that.
The sudden noise of the plastic cup being crushed in the man’s fist made him flinch, however, he still didn’t look away for even a moment. He barely dared to breathe.
Whatever he saw in Jake’s eyes seemed to satisfy Quaritch, because he gave a slow nod, his lips twitching in amusement. Then he rose to his feet in one fluent movement. "Good."
Jake heard him walk a few steps, heard the sound of the empty cup being dropped in a nearby trash can. "See to it that you don’t disappoint me," he said. "Good night, Corporal."
His footsteps faded down the hall, and then he was gone. Jake’s shoulders sagged down, letting out the breath he hadn’t realized he’d been holding.
…
Days later, the man visited him in his room while Jake was busy making yet another video log, holding a cup of coffee in his hand. For claiming not to like the taste, the man sure drank a lot of it, Jake thought, and paused the recording.
"Well, it sure has been an eventful day," Quaritch told him then, leaning on the doorframe.
"It sure has." Jake smiled. Talking to the Colonel had become his favourite thing to do during the hours he didn't spend lying in his link unit. It was nice to hear the other man talk about his time on earth, to hear him tell stories of the time he had spent as a marine and to sometimes tell his own stories in return.
"You should’ve seen the way that guy Norm looked at you earlier. The man was practically vibrating he was so jealous."
Jake had in fact noticed the looks Norm had given him during lunch, glaring daggers at him from across the table, visibly unhappy with the way things were going. He couldn’t even blame the man: Jake, in a single day, had achieved more than Norm had during all the months he’d already been here. The Na’vi had agreed to teach him their ways, teach him how to be one of them. It was no wonder Norm was jealous -- he had every reason to be.
"I’m just getting started," Jake said with a grin, nodding toward the man’s coffee. "You brought one for me as well?"
The man looked at him for a moment, and Jake fought off a shiver beneath that intense, unblinking stare. Then, after a few seconds or so, the man’s mouth curled into a wry grin. "Why would you want to? Shit tastes like poison."
Jake couldn’t help the laugh that escaped him at that. The man merely shook his head, though there was no missing the amusement dancing in his blue eyes.
…
The months began to trickle by, the days melting into one another. Jake spent more time lying in his link unit than he did out of it. Waking up felt like a punch every time, like being doused with ice water as he got sucked back into a cold world devoid of color. He was barely taking care of himself anymore, and he looked like hell: his skin was pale, the dark shadows beneath his eyes showing his lack of sleep. His hair had gotten longer, as well, nearly reaching the tips of his ears by now.
Still, he provided the Colonel with information, though he could tell the man was beginning to notice that something was off. That there was something Jake wasn’t telling him.
Well, he was right. There was something Jake wasn’t telling him, something he’d begun to realize weeks ago, but that was only now starting to sink in.
The Na‘vi would never leave the home tree.
"Jake."
Jake looked up from where he’d been busy shaving to find Quaritch leaning against the doorframe as usually, two streaming cups of coffee in his hands. Reaching for a nearby towel, he wiped off what remained of the shaving cream and motioned the man closer.
"Thought you said that tasted like poison," he said, and deliberately didn’t add ‚You trying to kill me?‘ as he usually would have done. The air was already tense enough as it was.
Quaritch’s gaze was unreadable as he stepped further into the room, eyes lingering on the paused video log for a moment before returning his attention to Jake once more, holding out one of the cups for him to take.
He then dragged a nearby chair toward himself and sat down with his arms crossed in front of his chest, muscles bulging beneath his shirt. He made no move to drink his own coffee, gaze trained unwaveringly on Jake, watching him like a hawk. "I figured you could use something warm to drink. You’re starting to look like a ghost."
Jake smiled weakly and brought the cup to his lips, taking a small sip. With a grimace, he lowered it again. The man hadn’t exaggerated, it did taste like poison. "Funny, Grace’s said the same thing."
"For once, I have to agree with her."
Jake gave a weak smile in response, though it was half-hearted and made his face hurt for some reason.
"It’s been a while since your last report," Quaritch then said, his head tilted thoughtfully. Jake swallowed and dropped his gaze, staring into the dark liquid within his cup, which was starting to look more and more appetizing by the second. The words didn’t surprise him.
Excruciatingly aware of Quaritch‘s gaze on him, he lifted the cup to his lips again and took another sip, barely tasting it this time.
"You starting to feel something for these savages, Sully? Is that it?"
Jake swallowed, his lips refusing to move for some reason.
Quaritch‘s face suddenly appeared right in front of him, the man’s gaze boring into his own, breath fanning across Jake’s lips.
Funny, Jake thought, slightly hysterically. Under normal circumstances, this would’ve been the moment he would’ve tried to make a move on the man, flirt with him a bit, see what happens.
But these weren’t normal circumstances, he reminded himself, the hand that was holding the cup trembling with barely suppressed exhaustion. He was on an alien planet, torn between the mission and what his heart was telling him. He was--
"Jake," Quaritch said, his voice low, something dark having entered his gaze. Jake’s grip on the cup tightened ever so slightly, fingers curling around it. "Don’t betray me."
Then his gaze dropped again, eyes trained on Jake’s mouth with such intense focus it made Jake’s breath catch in his throat, his heart giving an exhausted flutter inside his chest.
Oh, what the hell.
He leaned in, closing the remaining distance between them before he could change his mind, one hand finding Quaritch’s shoulder as he pressed their lips together.
The way Quaritch immediately froze against him had his blood running cold, had him trying to pull away -- only to have the man grip the front of his shirt and pull him right back in, claiming his mouth in a searing kiss that had his heart fluttering inside his chest and heat rushing to his face. A possessive hand landed on the back of his neck as the man devoured his mouth, determined to kiss Jake senseless, it seemed.
Jake closed his eyes, his lips parting around a groan as Quaritch‘s lips left his in favor of kissing at his jawline, his neck. "Miles…," he breathed, testing the way the name sounded on his tongue and shivering at the feel of the other‘s teeth against the side of his neck, scraping over the sensitive skin there. He drew in a shaky breath, forcing himself to continue. "I don't plan on disappointing you. All I need is a bit more time and--"
It was as if a flip had been switched. Quaritch abruptly pulled away and rose to his feet, his chair nearly toppling over as he did so. He was breathing hard, shoulders heaving as he stared down at Jake with icy blue eyes. Even the air in the room seemed to have turned colder all of a sudden. Jake fought off a shiver.
"Time." Quaritch let out a scoff, shaking his head. "You’ve had plenty of time already, don’t you think?"
Jake said nothing, and Quaritch’s expression darkened further. "Is that why you kissed me, huh, Jake? So I’d give you more time?"
"It’s not," Jake said immediately, and it was the truth.
For a long moment, the man just looked at him, his gaze probing as if trying to determine if he was being truthful. Eventually, he gave the slightest nod of his head, before turning around and heading for the door, stopping in the doorway to give Jake one last look over his shoulder. "Either you get it done now, or things are gonna get really ugly down these. Your decision." Then he was gone, the door falling shut behind him with a final sounding click.
A long sigh escaped Jake’s lips. He didn’t move for several moments, staring at the door as he waited for his heartbeat to return to normal.
Then he moved over to the sink, pouring the rest of the coffee down the drain.
…
Quaritch’s face was the first thing he saw upon waking, staring down at him with barely suppressed anger in his eyes.
"Welcome back, sunshine," he greeted coldly, before fisting a hand in his shirt and forcefully pulling him upwards and into a sitting position.
"What the hell." Jake glared at him, slapping the man’s hand away. A quick glance behind Quaritch revealed two more men standing in the room with them, armed from head to toe. Growing more and more confused by the second, his gaze snapped back to Quaritch.
"What is going on?"
"I heard your log entries, Jake," Quaritch said, giving a smile that didn’t reach his eyes. "They’ll never leave, huh?"
Jake’s mouth snapped shut. Understanding rushed through him, the color draining from his face. As if on cue, Grace Augustine‘s enraged voice echoed through the building, several other familiar voices joining hers, and Jake felt his heart sink.
"Thank you for letting me know we’re wasting our time trying to find a peaceful solution." Quaritch told him dryly, though Jake was barely listening to him anymore. The man slightly turned, jerking his chin at the men standing behind him. "This ends now. Bring him to the others."
When they dragged him from his link unit, Jake didn’t fight them. He’d lost, he knew, had fucked it all up.
It was over.
…
"I‘m gonna get you some help, Grace."
Grace gave him a weak smile. He face was pale, her lips starting to turn blue. "I’m a scientist, remember? I don’t believe in fairytales."
Jake drew in a quiet breath, his shoulders sagging slightly in defeat.
The past few hours had passed in a bit of a blur. He vaguely remembered managing to convince Selfridge to give him one more hour to finally convince the Na’vi to leave their home. He’d failed, to say the least, had been deemed a traitor -- and god, he didn’t think he’d ever forget the look of betrayal in Neytiri’s eyes -- and tied to a tree somewhere, watching helplessly as countless enemy aircrafts started appearing on the horizon.
He remembered being dragged from his unit once more and being locked up in a room with the scientists team, remembered Trudy coming in and helping them escape. Climbing into an aircraft while Quaritch fired countless bullets at them.
He hadn’t gotten hit. Grace, however, hadn’t been so lucky. The woman’s face was turning paler and paler by the second, the bandages she was wearing completely soaked through with blood already. She needed help, and quickly. And if she didn’t get it…
He sighed, pushing the thought away. He knew who would be able to help her, of course he did. But would they even be willing to help them, after everything that happened?
Maybe they would, though he doubted it. Clinging to that small bit of hope he had left, he swallowed the lump in his throat and gave Grace an encouraging smile. "You’re gonna be fine," he whispered, stroking back her damp hair from her forehead. "Just hang in there, alright?"
…
Ashes clung to Jake's skin and hair as he walked through what remained of the forest. Shattered pieces of wood covered the forest floor where the great tree had fallen, the earth beneath his feet dry and gray and cracked in some places. It was like the color had been sucked right out of the place, along with the Na’vi.
Jake’s heart gave a painful thump inside his chest, feeling like someone had wrapped their hand around his heart and was squeezing it with all their might.
So they had left him there. He was an outcast, no longer welcome. It wasn’t very surprising, but that didn’t make it hurt any less.
A sudden noise reached his ears, drawing him out of his thoughts, his head snapping up in alarm. It was the sound of an approaching aircraft, no doubt about it. He’d assumed the humans must’ve already left, but apparently, he’d been wrong.
His ears flattening back against his skull, Jake quickly ducked behind some trees, out of sight. The aircraft landed a few meters from him, sending various leaves and branches dancing wildly through the air. The sound of the side door being kicked open rang out across the landscape, followed by the one of boots hitting the ground, moving through the undergrowth and toward where he was hiding. Jake gritted his teeth, feeling himself tense further.
Then the newcomer spoke up, and the sound of his voice had his blood running cold.
"I know you’re here, Jake," Quaritch called, coming to a stop a couple of feet from him. He didn’t appear to have noticed him yet, but it was only a matter of time. "How’s Augustine, by the way? That must’ve been one hell of a bullet hole."
Grace. The name echoed through his mind, reminding him why he was here in the first place. And Quaritch… he was wasting time, wasting time while Grace’s was running out.
Pressing his lips into a determined line, he drew himself up to his full height and stepped out from behind the tree that had been his hiding place. It only took a second for Quaritch to notice him, his lips curling into a cruel smile.
"Jake," Quaritch greeted him, as casually as if he was talking about the weather. "Thought I might find you here."
"I thought you said you preferred how things looked from up there," Jake told him in a dry tone, staring into the barrel of the man’s shotgun before letting his eyes trail across his face. His very, very blue face. "Changed your mind?"
"I made an exception just for you," Quaritch said, taking a step closer, his Avatar’s long tail swishing back and forth behind him. Jake’s eyebrows lifted in mock-surprise.
"You came all the way out here, just for me?"
"What can I say? You’ve disappointed me, and I don’t like being disappointed. I don’t handle it well." He shrugged, though there was no missing the pain that flickered in his eyes for the shortest of moments. A blink, and then it was gone again, replaced by the same cold look from before. Jake had seen it though, and for a moment he couldn't help but wonder if the man had had actual feelings for him, if he was even capable of such a thing.
He huffed, shoving the thoughts away. There was no point in even wondering about that anymore, was there? He knew there was a good chance the man would snap and start shooting at him at any moment. He had to do something, now.
"You’re here to end it?" he asked, keeping his voice calm, his posture relaxed. Quaritch stared at him as if trying to figure out what kind of game he was playing, pale eyes watching his every movement.
"That’s right."
"Then quit stalling, and do it already." And with that, he threw himself at the man, crashing into him and sending both of them tumbling to the forest floor together. A loud shot resounded through the forest as Quaritch pulled the trigger, however all that he ended up shooting were a couple of branches.
Using the man’s momentary surprise to his advantage, Jake twisted the gun out of his hands and tossed it aside, out of reach. A low growl reached his ears and he abruptly found himself being shoved away and onto his back, the air escaping his lungs at the impact. It left him reeling for a moment, gasping for breath.
Spitting blood onto the forest floor, Quaritch reached for the combat knife dangling from his belt instead and shot him a bloody grin. He was panting harshly, blood seeping from a cut on his cheek where Jake had scratched him. "You’ve gotten quite comfortable in that little world of yours, haven’t you?" He sneered, wiping blood off his mouth with the back of his hand. "You like these savages more than your own people, Jake? That blue bitch you spend so much time around?"
Baring his teeth, he hissed up at the man, earning himself a laugh and an eye-roll.
"Right. I forgot, you think you’re one of them." Quaritch let out a scoff, then abruptly leaned down, his warm breath fanning across Jake’s face as he brought the razor-sharp blade to rest against his throat. "I’m here to tell you it’s not real. None of it is. And it’s time for you to wake up."
Jake’s lips parted in surprise, his blood rushing in his ears. If he died in his Avatar now, all would be lost, he knew. Grace would be lost. He had to do something, he had to--
The knife pressed harder against his throat, and he gave a low hiss, feeling his own blood trickle warmly down his neck. Quaritch’s hand was trembling slightly, staring down at him with pale, blue eyes. And to think it had just been a couple of days since the man had kissed him with such passion it had left him breathless… Jake pushed the thoughts away and closed his eyes, bracing himself for the pain that was sure to follow.
It didn’t. There was a slight rush of air as Quaritch brought the knife down, burying it to the hilt in the dry earth beside Jake’s head.
Jake's eyes flew open once more. Quaritch was staring down at him, anger and frustration mingling in his gaze. The hand still gripping Jake's shoulder was trembling violently now. Jake's lips parted in surprise, but no sound emerged forth.
What...?
Letting go of him, Quaritch slowly rose to his feet, looking down at him with an unreadable look in his eyes. The laugh he let out was one of disbelief, as if he couldn't believe he was doing this.
"I guess we’ll see each other on the battlefield, Jake," he said, almost to himself. Then he turned away, disappearing from Jake's field of vision once more.
Listening to his footsteps fade, Jake let his head sink back onto the forest floor with a relieved sigh.