Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

LOCATION: DELTA SPACE STATION; approximately 200 miles above the surface of planet Earth

CORRIDOR B

MILITARY QUARTERS

CABIN 114B: ASSIGNMENT; ANDERS

YEAR: 2315

"Sam, please stop pacing," Ellen pleaded from where she sat on his sofa with her head in her hands. "You're driving me crazy."

"I'm driving you crazy, Ellen?" He turned around to point at her accusingly and gave a bitter laugh.

"You're doing this to yourself," She spit back.

Sam's behavior in the ten days since his resurrection hadn't improved much from the near crazed episode he'd first experienced in his download tub. While he was far more coherent his conduct had been erratic and confrontational.

"I'm doing it to myself? That's a good one. What else ya' got, Ellen? Keep em' coming."

Ellen closed her eyes and rubbed at her temples trying like hell to keep her patience with him. She'd been spending every moment that she could spare with Sam lately just trying to get through to him, to calm him, to fix whatever it was that was making him behave as if there was a constant fire lit under his ass. She'd gone home to Alpha for a few hours at a time here and there over the last week but the bulk of her time was being spent on Delta Station acting as Sam's babysitter. Saul had lost his patience days ago. Helo and Athena had a welcome excuse to leave when they needed to report to duty on Beta. Bill tried his hand for a while but even he couldn't get the man to settle for more than a short conversation. It all fell on Ellen.

They were all frustrated over the disappointment of the anticlimactic last download. Both D'Anna and Anders had woken in quite curious states but nothing else of any note had occurred from getting all of the resurrected leaders together. No notions of grand revelations came to any of them. No one felt any different. Nothing of any significance happened. There was nothing to report to the EOC and nothing for the government to report to the people. There was a looming sense of failure hanging over everyone's heads. All that was keeping them from rushing to conclusions was the fear of snuffing out the last bits of hope they clung to. Inwardly they were all fearful that Caprica and Baltar were the missing pieces that would never be filled and that perhaps D'Anna hadn't quite worked as a suitable replacement for Starbuck.

Saul and Margot had deleted the resurrection process from Ellen's memory just days after the last download as promised. It was gone. Margot went to the basestar as Ellen requested and made sure that any remnant data was purged from Lucy the hybrid's memory. If resurrection; cylon, human or otherwise was needed again then whoever desired it would have to look elsewhere. The Tighs were through with it. They had six out of the eight original leaders to work with and they had to hope that it would turn out to be enough. They were now in a stage of waiting.

"I need you to stop assaulting your guards," Ellen told Sam in a dull voice that demonstrated just how many times she'd had to repeat herself over the last week and a half.

"I need you to stop treating me like a feral child," He countered.

"Then stop acting like one, Sam! For frak sake they're going to put you in the brig if you keep this up!"

"Great people," He said caustically. "They use you to bring me back from the frakking dead and now they're going to thank me for making the cross-dimensional trip by locking me up behind bars? That's a race worth saving," He ended his rant with just as much sarcasm as it started.

"Yes! They certainly will lock you up if you keep proving that you're a danger to others and to yourself, I might add."

He'd already gotten two black eyes and had his lip busted open in the short time that he'd been conscious aboard Delta Station. Saul decided that the next step would be to convince Delta's commander to allow all centurion security for Sam Anders.

"Get me off this frakking station, Ellen. I don't want to be here!"

"I can't. Not yet! Though, if you keep pissing off Cmdr. Thibodaux you might get your wish. He's threatening to have you transferred to Gamma but that won't get you what you want."

Sam stopped his pacing and put his hands on his hips to face the frustrated woman. His face grew serious and his eyes held intent.

"When can I see her?"

"Gods," Ellen palmed her head. "Not this again."

"If you think I'm going to quit asking then you're as crazy as you seem to think I am," He challenged.

"Sam, I don't know how many times I have to tell you this. Katya is very busy. She has her own responsibilities on Alpha Station and I'm sorry, but she just doesn't want to see you."

"Let me apologize to her," He requested for not the first or even the fifteenth time.

Ellen had lost track of just how many times he'd asked.

"I know that you're sorry for how rough you were with her. I've passed that along just like you asked. I told you. She understands how scary the resurrection process can be. She watched Bill wake up just as confused and upset as you were. If it makes you feel any better she accepts your apology but she doesn't want to see you and I won't force her."

Ellen wouldn't dare. The first time that she and Saul had even brought it up in passing Katya went crazy. She refused to even consider being in the same room with Sam again. They knew that the experience must have been jarring for her but they honestly couldn't understand the intensity of how upset she seemed to become at the mere suggestion. Something about the event had Katya shaken and unnerved in a way Saul and Ellen had never seen their daughter. Alexi had followed her refusal with his own fit. He didn't want Katya anywhere near Samuel T. Anders and he'd warned them both against bringing it up to her again.

"She's your daughter, right?" Sam asked rhetorically. "You raised her. You can convince her. Saul can. He can order her."

"Saul will not order her to do something there is no reason for. And if you think that either one of us could actually convince her then you are sadly mistaken. She happens to be an infuriatingly stubborn young woman."

Sam laughed and shook his head, suddenly thoroughly amused.

"Of course," He chuckled as if it made some sort of strange sense to him. "She's stubborn. Of course she is."

As he smiled to himself Ellen looked at him as if he had sprouted three extra heads.

"I have to say, Sam, this interest you have in her is starting to concern me and Saul. You have to understand how strange it's coming off."

It was becoming quite alarming. They'd thought that it would fade after his initial confusion was gone but it was still persistent. Sam was asking anyone and everyone about Katya; if they knew who she was, what she was like. It was bizarre.

"I can't explain it, Ellen. I just want to see her once. Ten minutes is all I'm asking. If she won't come here let me go to her."

Ellen looked down at her knees and gripped the edge of the sofa cushions until her knuckles turned white.

"Sam...I want you to consider seeing a doctor."

"No thanks. I've already had the pleasure of being carted down to the infirmary a few times," He chided, referring to his many scuffles. "I'm fine."

He cracked his bruised knuckled one by one for effect causing Ellen to wince and look away.

"I'm not talking about that kind of a doctor," She admitted.

She braced for his reaction before peeking upward to see the look on his face.

"You want me to see a shrink?!"

"A neurologist," She clarified. "I want to do a brain scan. Just as a precaution," She said looking directly into his eyes. She had to be firm with him. She'd tried being his loving and compassionate protector for the first week. It hadn't gotten her anywhere. "You have to admit that you're acting out of character and that your behavior has been odd to say the least."

"And just how should I behave!? Huh, Ellen!? You tell me! How should someone behave who's been woken from a 200,000 year long death? Like frakkin' D'Anna!? If anyone's sick it's her! Is no one concerned about how she just woke up as if she'd come for a scheduled weekend visit? She obviously knew about that…that...that…girl," He said as if it left a bad taste in his mouth. "Concern yourself with what the hell else she knows. She probably has all your frakkin answers!"

Ellen cringed and thumbed a bit of Sam's spittle from her cheek.

He was right about the high strangeness of D'Anna's download. The both of them had resurrected in far more complex states than Bill, Laura or the Agathons had. While Sam woke wild and confused, D'Anna woke calmly; almost as if she'd been expecting the event and she'd recognized their daughter in an instant.

"I've spoken to D'Anna, Sam. I'll admit that it's strange that she seemed to expect her resurrection and how she somehow woke knowing about her daughter. You told us yourself that you just knew that Kara was with you on the other side and that somehow you lost her. That's just as strange. You haven't been able to explain yourself much more than that. It's been sort of a trend. It seems like the more time passes the less you all can remember the details of where you came from. D'Anna says she can't explain it either."

"Bull," Sam accused, resuming his mad pacing.

"I don't have any reason not to believe her. What could she possibly gain by lying or by keeping things from us? And by the way, Sam, that girl, your daughter, has a name. Her name is Margot for the tenth time. And I happen to care a great deal about her so I'd appreciate if you'd stop talking about her with such disdain in your voice."

Sam stopped his trudging and whipped around to face her again.

"I don't want to talk about her at all! She's not my daughter, Ellen. I have no children. That twenty-one year old woman is certainly not my kid. These sick selfish people might have used my unconscious body to make her but she's not mine and I'd appreciate it if you'd quit trying to tell me otherwise."

"Sam," Ellen started but he cut her off.

"No, Ellen. You care for her all you want. I bet that's made you pretty happy, huh? You and Saul?" He needled, pulling from ages old conversations held during late nights at the office or in their lab. "You two, you collected all of our lab-grown bastard children and you've been playing house with them for years. Well I hope you've been enjoying your frakked up version of motherhood, Ellen. I just don't want a damn thing to do with it."

Ellen shot up off of the couch in a flash slapped her open fist across his cheek.

Sam flinched and when he opened his eyes Ellen had her finger stuck right in his face.

She was enraged. Her eyes wild with anger. If she didn't need him so much she knew that her hands would be around his throat.

"Frak you, Sam! Frak you!" She nearly screeched. "I love those kids. And they weren't lab-grown! They were born! Every one of them! They're people with souls and feelings, one of them who you're hurting very deeply with your blatant and disgusting dismissal," She seethed before hot angry tears started to leak from the corners of her eyes. He was being intentionally cruel and infuriating. He still knew her well enough to understand just what would send her off the edge. She just couldn't fathom why he was doing it. She couldn't understand his anger. "Sam what the frak is wrong with you? This isn't you. What's happening? I want to help."

"You just want to help so that I'll help you and your frakking cause."

"Yes! Yes!" She said throwing her arms up in the air and letting them fall in utter frustration, "We need your help! I've been honest about that from the start but I want to help you because I love you. I care about you. Don't ignore that, Sam. After everything we've been through don't spit on that. You know that I care."

Sam shook his head and looked at the floor. She was relieved when she saw something like remorse flash in his eyes when he looked back up at her.

"Just…let me see her once."

Ellen's lips parted and her eyes welled again as she shook her head at a total loss.

LOCATION: DELTA SPACE STATION; approximately 200 miles above the surface of planet Earth

CORRIDOR C

MILITARY RECREATION

GYMNASIUM

WOMEN'S LOCKERS

YEAR: 2315

Margot was freshly dressed in a clean pair of station tanks and baggy gym shorts. Her hair was still wet from the showers and she should have been feeling renewed and invigorated as she usually did after her post workout shower. Instead she just felt damp and lousy. She sat with her legs straddling a bench and was repeatedly bouncing her pyramid ball against the hard plastic of the rattling lockers. It hadn't wound up to be the gift that she'd intended and now the only enjoyment anyone was getting out of it was the strange satisfaction she felt when chucking it against a solid surface. She should have left already. Her workout was over, she was clean and dressed but she'd started bouncing the damn ball and she couldn't make herself stop. A few other women had complained about the annoyance of the noise and she'd chased them out of the locker room with a couple of threats that she had every intention on seeing through if they gave her enough of a reason. She felt badly about it after. It was out of character for her but she just hadn't been herself lately.

"Fancy a game?" A voice echoed behind her.

The voice gave Margot an icy chill up her spine and made the fine hairs on the back of her neck stand up on end. She paused for a split seconds before turning to see D'Anna watching her standing in nothing but a Delta purple rec-room towel.

She swallowed hard before saying anything in return.

"Where's your security?" Margot asked blankly.

"Now that's not a very nice way to greet your old' mum, now is it?" D'Anna smirked.

Margot gave the other woman a look of near disgust before rolling her eyes and turning to bounce her ball again, this time harder than before.

"You should have an escort," Margot said as she pelted the ball at a locker and caught it again.

"They're right outside."

D'Anna took a few careful steps forward before Margot spoke over her shoulder again.

"What are you doing here anyway? Following me?" The girl accused.

D'Anna had made several attempts to talk to Margot within the last few days. They'd really only had one encounter of any length when Ellen was there to tell D'Anna what she apparently already knew. The cylon woman couldn't explain how she'd known about her daughter but Karl and Sharon had vouched for the fact that the look of recognition on her face was genuine. They had to believe her. Ellen had given D'Anna the full explanation of who Margot was and how she was conceived and born. To Margot's amazement and revulsion, D'Anna seemed almost amused by the entire tale. She'd accepted the fact that Margot was her daughter without batting an eyelash and her quiet eagerness that followed had made the girl even more uneasy. She had one parent who was eerily interested in her and another who had gone from irate at her existence to totally dismissive. Somehow she felt the two almost canceled one another out.

Ellen had tried to comfort Margot. She was spread pretty thin between checking in on D'Anna, dealing with the mess that was Sam Anders and trying to give some measure of her time to her family back on Alpha. Still, she'd tried to be there for the girl.

Katya and Alexi had left in the early hours of the morning after the download. Margot didn't blame them. Katya was shaken and at that point Sam's only words were still pleas to see her or whoever he thought she was at the time. The couple gave Margot their apology and then fled back to their home. Soon Blaze and Sydra left to report back to duty on Alpha too and Margot was left alone. Her mother hadn't said much about the entire event. She was worried about the mental state of Sam Anders. They'd spoken about that at least but when Margot brought up his reaction to her existence Michelle had just snidely chuckled under her breath and said something along the lines of 'what did you expect'. She then followed it up with an 'I told you so'. The rest of Margot's personal leave had been lonely and miserable. She couldn't wait to get back to work. She had a new goal in mind. She would put in a transfer request to be reassigned to Alpha Station as soon as she was back on duty. With Blazer's birthday celebration coming up she would have the perfect opportunity to talk to Kaplan first hand too. She had no reason to want to stay on Delta anymore. She could visit her mother occasionally and see her just as much as she did living on the same station. She wanted to be close to Sydra and begin to work on starting some kind of a life with her. She wanted to be near Katya and Alexi too. They would need her help soon and she didn't want to have to jump between stations and live out half of her life on shuttles. Most of all she didn't want to be anywhere near her birthparents. Alpha seemed liked heaven in comparison to what Delta had become for her.

"I was told that I could use the facilities," D'Anna coolly defended. "This body has been in a tank for the last thirty-some years. I'd like to think I'm allowed to work my muscles a bit."

"You have your own cabin with your own shower," Margot said between bounces.

She knew it was stupid to insinuate that the woman should walk through two corridors dirty and sweating just to shower in her own quarters. She just didn't want to be around her.

"I make you uncomfortable," D'Anna stated plainly.

"Gee, how'd you guess?"

D'Anna rolled her eyes and shrugged as she took a seat on the opposite end of the bench.

When Margot turned to see the woman had sat nearby she swung her legs over to one side. She didn't like having her back to her. She proceeded to bounce the ball off of the bulkhead instead. The metal made an even more satisfying sound and she found herself increasing the force with which she threw it, enjoying the sting when it ricocheted harshly back into her palms.

"I guess he wasn't what you expected," D'Anna hinted, gesturing to the ball.

D'Anna had witnessed Sam's behavior. She'd seen several of his outbursts, some which came after he'd learned of their daughter.

"Don't flatter yourself," Margot said as she clutched the ball in her hands and stood up. "I think you're both freaks."

"That may be but don't you care to talk to me just a bit?" D'Anna cocked her head to the side.

Margot couldn't stand the tiny look of mirth that the woman always seemed to casually wear on her lips.

"Not anymore."

"Why not?"

"Because," Margot said, harshly palming the ball. "You give me the creeps!"

D'Anna hardly looked phased by the insult.

"Well, I want to talk to you," She shrugged, "Your would-be father surely doesn't want to give you the time of day. That so-called adoptive mother of yours doesn't seem to have much more interest either. Why not give me a shot?"

"Don't talk about my mother, okay? She loves me. You don't know her. You don't know anything about how she feels about me."

"Why don't you tell me? I'm a good listener."

The Three seemed almost amused at their banter.

"You're insane," Margot accused.

At this D'Anna truly smiled.

"You know they used to say; to know the face of God is to know madness. Maybe you're right to call me crazy."

"Oh, and you've seen God?"

Margot hardly knew the concept of a deity. To hear anyone claim such a thing just didn't register with her.

"I've seen more than you could ever even dream about."

"See? Nuts!"

D'Anna's smile turned to a simper. She glanced down to floor before looking back up at Margot.

"What can I do to convince you to give me a bit of a chance?"

Margot was about to walk away but in a sudden rage she found herself shouting at the woman.

"Tell me how you knew who I was!"

D'Anna appeared serene in the face of the young woman's ire.

"Well..." She implied, gesturing at their obvious resemblance.

"Don't give me that!" Margot shot. "Besides that. When you woke up you said that you'd been waiting a long time to meet me. I remember. Minutes after your resurrection you looked at me like you knew me and you said that. What's that mean?"

"I don't know."

"Fine. Leave me alone then."

"I can't tell you what I don't know, Margot."

"Don't say my name."

"I can't tell you what I don't know, Specialist," D'Anna briskly and cordially corrected. "When I woke I just knew as soon as I saw you that I'd been waiting for a very long time to finally meet you."

"How? The Agathons, Roslin, Adama, they didn't know about their kids. When they woke up they had no idea. If the Tighs hadn't told them they'd still think Blaze and Katya were just some unrelated strangers. Why did you know about me?"

"I wish I could tell you. I don't remember. I just know that…I knew."

Margot narrowed her eyes with suspicion and looked D'anna up and down from her sandy blonde hair to her bare toes.

"I should tell my mother to medicate you."

"Would she take your call?" D'Anna poked.

"Screw off," Margot spit back.

"Seems to me that you could have left at any time after I showed up here. I'm not keeping you, Specialist. I'd like you to stay but I'm not making you."

"This is my station, this is my locker room!" Margot could here that her shouting sounded juvenile and she almost blushed. She'd seen Katya throw one too many tantrums. After all this time her mother's words had come true; the Tigh's kid had been a bad influence after all. "This is my home!"

"And you're my daughter." D'Anna answered without missing a beat.

Margot felt her anger surge again.

"How'd you know that you were going to be resurrected!?"

"I don't know that either."

"Crap! Total Crap!"

"It's not. It's the truth and I'll swear to it. I know one thing. I'm here to help. I have no one here that gives a damn about me but I'm willing to do whatever I can to help nonetheless. I don't know why. I just am. Why don't you help me to do that…Specialist?

LOCATION: ALPHA SPACE STATION; approximately 200 miles above the surface of planet Earth

CORRIDOR C

COMMAND CONTROL CENTER/ C³

TACTICAL STATION

YEAR: 2315

It was the first shift that all three of them had ever worked together. Kaplan had asked Katya to come in and go over one of her new tactical plans. Saul was there to review. It just happened to overlap with one of Bill's newly appointed shifts in the control center.

In spite of how strange and almost forced the situation was, Kaplan was doing his best to include the Admiral within Orbit Patrol and treat him with respect. He firmly believed that Adama had to have valuable insight and knowledge that the rest of them just didn't have. He'd experienced a similar war before and commanded an ever moving fleet through it all. Despite the close planetary approximation and their stationary status Kaplan believed that Adama's input would help. Though Orbit Patrol let Bill keep his title out of respect for his former service, his position was largely advisory. He had some seniority over junior officers and was expected to be treated with respect but he had little authority and he didn't expect any. He'd thrown himself into studying protocol and procedure as much as he could. He surprised everyone with how quickly he picked things up and Kaplan had even let him take control of the floor a few times as long as his Second or Saul was around to supervise. Kaplan told Bill that soon he thought he might even be able to take a shift on his own. He was in his element again and he was grateful. He knew that they could have easily put him in the sort of positions Helo and Athena had taken on. Karl was training as an LSO on Beta and Sharon was being trained on military flight scheduling, taking over Blazer's temporary spot that was left open when he'd returned home to Alpha. Bill wouldn't have been as glad to do either job but he thought that he still would have accepted it. He knew that they could have and probably should have denied their request to enlist all together. He was sure that Saul had strong armed quite a few people into it and even so he was glad to be back in uniform and serve beside others who wore it too.

"Like old times in the CIC, eh, Old Man?" Saul said across the tactical station.

"Yeah. It sure is," Bill agreed with a small smile.

Katya scowled at the both of them.

"Excuse me, Sirs? If you two are done reminiscing?" She asked, obviously annoyed.

They'd interrupted an analysis she was giving of new station air space protocol.

Both men smirked at each other but Kaplan gave her the go-ahead.

"Go on, Captain Isakoff."

Katya cleared her throat with some exaggerated emphasis and looked back down at the table's projection of the Alpha Quadrant. Projected above the brightly lit surface was a full three dimensional rendering of the station, its quadrant's pods and the quarter of the planet they orbited. It hovered over the table as a perfect glowing miniature of their surroundings.

"Along with increasing the number of falcons doing standard ellipses around each station we are also going to increase the number of stationary hawks on all sides of the station. Pending approval of course," She said eying her uncle. "I feel that the amount of patrol craft in civilian airspace should be doubled at the very least. I never realized how lax that side of the station really was. I also suggest we shut down all civilian ports for now," She explained as she swiped a few ships onto the military side of the station rendering. "Traffic can come in through the military decks. We can handle it for now until we can reopen the civilian ports with military crews. I'm not sure how other stations will feel about this but I urge you to implement it here on Alpha at least…" Katya's voice trailed off and she seemed to suddenly be looking past the digital model that floated over the table.

She was overcome with the strangest feeling and it had caught her totally off guard. Her hands went to the side of the table and with her last semblance of wherewithal she gripped it as hard as she could. Her eyes went to Saul and she could see that he wasn't in much better shape than she was.

"Captain?" She heard Bill's voice call but she couldn't get her eyes to focus on him and now there were two Uncle Sauls, then four and now they were starting to rotate.

"Captain Isakoff," Kaplan said a little firmer and louder.

She couldn't make herself answer either of them and now the room was spinning. Slowly and as carefully as she could manage she allowed her knees to bend and with the support of the tactical station's table she sunk to the floor. When she felt her knees hit the hard surface she heard Bill shouting again but this time it wasn't for her.

"Saul?! Saul!" Bill called.

She couldn't be sure but she thought that she heard people rushing over and laying her uncle on the floor on the other side of the table.

"Damn it!" Kaplan barked.

"We've got company!" An officer called from the helm as an alert chimed from the system surveillance.

"Figures!" Bill shouted from where he knelt by a collapsed Tigh. "He's totally out of it. It's happening again."

Kaplan had sunk down by Katya as soon as she hit the floor. She was on her hands and knees now and struggling to even stay steady in that position. The commander was almost sure of what was happening to her. Had Tigh not been there he would have assumed that she was sick but it lined up too perfectly. There was about to be a breach and Katya was feeling it this time.

Kaplan kept a supportive hand to his captain's back. Though the signal effects were relatively harmless once gone, he knew that he needed to be extra cautious with her.

"Get a medic in here!" He ordered and gestured for another officer to sit with her.

When the officer swooped in to take his place he quickly stood up.

"What do you see, Officer?!" Kaplan asked as he stormed toward the console.

"Looks like a fleet of Airbots coming in. Should breach the outer limits of the line in about three minutes," The helm officer stated.

"How many?"

"I can't say. They're flying tight. Could be twenty-five could be fifty."

"All squads out now!" Kaplan ordered.

"Yes, Sir," The officer replied.

In less than a moment the station com was buzzing and the alert lights were flashing.

ACTION STATIONS. ACTION STATIONS.

ALPHA SET CONDITION ONE

ALL UNITS AND ALL SQUADRONS REPORT

REPEAT ALL UNITS AND ALL SQUADRONS REPORT

"Saul!" Bill shouted. "Saul, listen to me. I know you can hear me. I'm not going far. You hang tight. Something's up with Katya. I just…I'm gunna go check on her for you," He said knowing that's what Saul would want him to do.

"I'll stay with him, Sir," A young officer said as she scooted down by Tigh's side.

Bill gave a quick nod of thanks and then rushed over to his daughter's side. She was still on her hands and knees though she hardly looked steady in that position.

"Katya? Katya, what's happening?" Bill asked.

"She said she's dizzy," Her attending officer answered. "I tried to get her to put her head between her knees but she couldn't seem to manage."

Bill put a hand on her shoulder afraid that she was about to sway and lose her balance even on all fours.

"Katya talk to me. What's happening?"

She winced at his words.

"I dunno. It won't stop. Everything's…swirling."

Katya's heart was in her throat but she didn't know where the hell her mind was. It was just like her dream only she wasn't in her bird. The entire world was spinning around her at a rapid pace and she couldn't slow it down no matter how hard she tried to concentrate. Even closing her eyes didn't help much. She could still feel the lurching of her disturbed equilibrium.

"Katya, is this…Are you feeling it?" Bill cringed, afraid that he already knew the answer.

Before she could nod she felt her body inadvertently heave and she lost the contents of her stomach all over the control room floor.

"Sorry," She weakly muttered before finally lowering her body all the way down to rest her face against the cool surface.

"Don't worry about that, Captain," Bill grimaced. The entire room was buzzing with the sound of the alarms. Kaplan was shouting order after order and all Bill could do was look between Saul and Katya and hope that one of them would recover soon. "It's going to pass, Captain. You just try and keep calm," He said as he reached out and squeezed her hand.

Her eyes were cinched shut and she was now curled up as she could make herself.

"Can we get that medic team in here!?" He shouted.

"Uncle Saul," Katya slurred.

"He's alright, Captain. Don't worry about him. He just has to let it pass. He'll be okay."

"Lex...Ell…" She attempted but couldn't speak when she started to gag against the words.

She turned and dry heaved a few times. Whatever she'd had in her stomach was already gone.

"Quit talking, Katya," Bill told her. "I'll find out where they are in just a moment."

He'd have to find out where both boys were, as well as the Agathons, Ellen and now Sam and D'Anna. He hoped they'd all been someplace safe when it hit this time. After a few minutes the commander's voice thundered through the control center again.

"Have a fleet of shuttle-hawks barricade each end of the station by the decks!" Kaplan barked. He looked around to see his captain still suffering on the floor by a puddle of vomit and his colonel still totally catatonic. "Where the hell is that medic team!?" As soon as he said it a small squad of two marines entered. He grimaced when he didn't see a transpo-gurney with them. "What is it, Corporals?"

"Sir, we're here for Admiral Adama, Sir, if you can spare him. Ms. Roslin's been rushed to Med Ward," The first marine answered.

Bill's head shot up at Laura's name and his heart sunk when he finally registered what they'd said.

Kaplan shook his head. In any other circumstance he would have made his officer stay but this was Laura Roslin, one of their saviors. They needed to know that she was okay. Anyone else that could have sought to the woman's well being would be totally indisposed for the next short while. He looked over at Bill who seemed to be thinking the same thing; if Katya was feeling the effects of the signal her mother was too.

"You're excused, Admiral," Kaplan said before giving his attentions back to the helm.

Bill looked over at Saul and then down at his distraught daughter. For a moment he found himself in a mild panic.

"Admiral, go!" Katya shouted knocking Bill out of his stupor.

"Katya, medics are coming soon. You're alright. You and Saul will be okay. It'll pass," He rambled trying to make himself feel better about leaving them both.

"Go!" She yelled again. "Now!"

He quickly got to his feet and followed the two marines out of the hatch to Med Ward.

LOCATION: ALPHA SPACE STATION; approximately 200 miles above the surface of planet Earth

CORRIDOR C

MED WARD

YEAR: 2315

"You sure you're good, Koshka?" Blaze asked as he played with a few instruments on a nearby surgical cart.

"Quit touching that crap with your nasty hands," Katya scolded him like he was a child from where she sat perched on the side of a ward bed. "That stuff is sterile."

"Sorry," He frowned and dropped a pair of scissors, cringing when they clattered against the tray. "So, are you positive you're okay?"

Katya's dizziness was gone. Her vision was steady and her nausea had eased. All traces of the episode had vanished rather quickly before she'd ever made it to the ward. Her only discomfort was a deep gnawing ache low in her back that seemed to come and go. She was almost sure it was from her embarrassing retching. She knew enough about muscle pulls from years of ballet to be almost certain it was nothing alarming. She could deal with it. If she shared it with anyone the problem would just be blown out of proportion and she would be spending more time in the ward.

"Yes. I'm sure. Are you?"

"Yeah. I'm fine," Balze assured her. "I promise that Lex is fine too. I saw him, spoke to him. It was intense this time, Koshka. I won't lie. Going totally catatonic, not having any control over my body, the spinning," He shook his head. "It was like…like a nightmare."

Katya grimaced at the reference and he looked a bit apologetic once he realized his misstep.

"I'm so sorry, Blaze."

"So am I, Kat. This shit is getting stronger. It sounds like you felt it at the level that me and Lex experienced before. Now he and I are getting the same effects as full cylon."

Katya inhaled deep and let out a shaky sigh.

"This is so messed up."

"Tell me about it."

Blaze had been working on the patrol schedule at the time of his episode. He was fortunate to have been at a desk when it hit. At first he'd felt the tell tale sensation that had come to him the times before but soon he realized that this time would be different. When he attempted to call for assistance on his cuff he found that he was having trouble speaking. Alone in Luna's office and not knowing what else to do he slumped over in his seat and soon lost all ability to move. Though he felt as if he was in constant motion he sat there frozen listening to the blaring alarms until it passed.

"Your mother is lucky that she had her little guardian centurion. I'll tell you that much."

Blaze had gotten the scoop on Laura's episode on his way to check on Katya in the ward. It seemed that Vladi had some sense that something was about to go wrong even before the alarms went off. The marine stationed with him outside of the Roslin Adama cabin said that the machine suddenly went crazy trying to open the hatch. The corporal was afraid that the centurion had gone haywire. He'd called for backup, worried that Vladi was going break the door down but when the station alarms started to sound the marine opened the hatch himself knowing that they needed to get Roslin to her designated safe place. Vladi rushed in front of the man and charged right for the head like he was on a mission. They'd found Laura Roslin unconscious on the floor with the shower on. The room was full of steam and there was reportedly a fair amount of blood coming from a cut on her hairline.

"Did Vladi really carry her all the way here?" Katya asked.

"That's what I heard," Blaze shrugged. "Apparently he scooped her up, Corporal Kim threw a blanket on her and Vladi stormed in here like he was carrying a rag doll."

"Kim told you that?"

"Yup."

"Good Vladi," Katya smiled, pleased that her loyal friend had been such a help. "Is he still here?"

"Na. Kim's outside standing post. They sent Vladi off. I have to say, Kat, I'm really surprised that you and Roslin felt it. To be honest, if it hadn't happened to the both of you I would have had trouble believing it. I mean that sub-cylon blood, that transmutation or whatever it is you've got going on. I guess it just never crossed my mind that it could hit you too."

"Me either and I'm pretty sure Roslin wasn't expecting it."

Katya grimaced. A thought came to her. She wondered just how much cylon blood it really took to feel it. If she and Laura could feel it now then how long would it be until the general population with their trace cylon heritage would feel it too? The thought was chilling and she quickly pushed it to the back of her mind. She'd call Ellen about it later and then go to Kaplan.

"I'm told that Tigh is back on his feet like nothing happened," Blaze interrupted her thoughts.

She nodded.

"He was on his feet before the medics even arrived."

By the time the medics had finally shown in the control room Saul and Katya were both mostly back to normal. Saul was insistent that he was fine and refused to let the medics come near him. He jumped right into the mix and took his post during the rest of the attack. Other than being slightly embarrassed that she'd gotten sick on the control room floor Katya was on her feet as well. She went to Med Ward as a precaution. She knew that it would be foolish and selfish not to. Knowing Laura was there helped her decision, though she hated to admit it to herself. She would be that much closer to finding out if she was alright.

"Did you speak to Ellen?" Blaze asked with a yawn.

Katya now knew for herself just how quickly the symptoms of the signal effects faded but Blazer still seemed tired. She frowned wondering just how much the event had taken out of him. It made her want to see Alexi that much more and it made her wish Ellen would finally come home.

"Yeah. She says that she's fine now. I think that she actually considered the episode a break from that lunatic Anders." Though Katya said it with some dark humor the man's name was spoken through gritted teeth. "When I asked about Margot and creepy D'Anna she was really short with me."

Though Ellen was concerned she'd rushed off the line once she'd confirmed that her daughter was alright. It made Katya wonder just what she was dealing with over on Delta.

"I'm sure Margot is fine," Blaze surmised. "She's just in a rough spot right now."

Katya nodded as she tried to discreetly rub at the low ache in her back.

"What about Sharon?" She asked as a bit of a distraction.

"I spoke to Helo. He said that she's alright. She was at a training class and he wasn't there when it happened. I think he was upset about that but it's something they are going to have to deal with if they plan on continuing their service. They can't always be together."

"Laura was all alone," Katya mumbled, looking down at her lap.

"She's a few curtains down. I saw the Admiral step out to ask a medic a question when I came in. I'm not sure how she is. Things seemed calm behind the curtain. I doubt it's too serious."

"Kat," Tawny interrupted sticking her head through the curtain. "I'm sorry. I know you've been sitting here for a while. We have three pilots in critical."

Katya waved her off.

"I'm fine, Tawny just help them. I'm good. I can leave."

"No, no. I'm sending in a medic to give you a look," The doctor insisted.

"I don't need it."

"Peace of mind," Tawny shrugged, rushing off before Katya could protest again.

When she was gone Katya cringed at the thought of the injured pilots. She hated knowing that they were suffering nearby and that there was nothing she could do to help. While she was unable to fly her friends were getting shot out of the air left and right.

"So how many did we lose this time?"

"Well," Blaze started with a sigh, "the airways have been clear for a while now but I didn't get the final count yet. Two I know of here on Alpha. Li'l Bit and Harper."

"No…" Katya said in near disbelief, "Damn it."

"Gone." Blaze watched Katya's head fall toward her lap again. He put a comforting hand on her shoulder and gave it a few gentle squeezes. She'd always felt so small in his hands in contrast to her big attitude and even bigger mouth. "You sure you're alright, Kosh?"

"Yes," She insisted as she straightened her posture. "Stop. Please? You're making me feel like I'm…feeble."

"Okay," He nodded and put his hands to his hips. "I should go get back to my post."

"Blaze, just take the rest of the day off. They'll understand."

"Captain Isakoff," A medic in light blue scrubs called through the curtain before popping in. "Are you ready for me?" She asked.

"I don't really need an exam," Katya told the young woman.

"Dr. T just told me not to let you leave without at least doing a basic."

Katya huffed when she saw the look on Blazer's face.

"Fine. Make it fast."

"Alright. I'll be right in," The medic nodded and left the curtain.

"You be good, Koshka. Listen to what they tell you."

"I'm always good."

"Never," He chided.

"Sometimes," She musingly argued. "I listened to Lex and finally got a new uniform this week," She told him with some pride.

"Oh good. Now you can breathe again," He teased.

Katya took a full and exaggerated breath in and let it out for show. It was in jest but Blaze had no idea how good it felt to be actually able to do it.

He chuckled at her and shook his head as he looked her over.

"The Tighs really haven't noticed?"

Katya's smile faded a bit.

"Nope. Not yet."

"I mean, the Colonel, I get. He's half blind but Ellen."

"I'm just that stealth," She winked.

"Give me a break."

"I know," She relented letting her shoulders drop. "A stranger said something to me yesterday."

"No kidding?"

"A petty officer who works in the mess hall." With Ellen gone Saul and the kids had been frequenting the cafeteria most nights. Family dinners in-cabin just weren't the same without her there. "Won't matter in another week anyway. Just have to get passed it."

Blaze looked skeptical.

"Ellen notices everything. She's been away for most of the week but when she gets back…I'm sorry, Koshka, but there's no hiding... "

"I know, I know," She cut him off. He didn't have to say it. She was aware of just how much things had changed over the last handful of days, "Ellen's too involved with that psycho. Not that I'm complaining. I miss her but it's better that she's distracted, Saul too. I have no answers for them yet. They'd just be worried sick and upset."

"Like the rest of us."

"Blazer," She groaned.

"I mean it, Kat." I worry about you all the time. "Right now I'm leaving you in what seems like satisfactory condition. If anything's wrong and Lex thinks I left your side he'll kill me."

"He won't kill you this close to your birthday," She joked.

"Nice gift."

"Go, L.T. That's an order."

"10-4, Cap," He said as he leaned over to kiss her cheek.

Katya smiled at first but it faded when Blaze seemed to misjudge his target. His delicate kiss landed at the very corner of her mouth and she could swear that she felt him linger just a split second longer than usual. He bowed his head avoiding her eyes and gave her a pat on the knee.

"Hang in there, Cap," He said before turning to leave.

She couldn't respond. She'd known as soon as he'd pulled away that he'd done it at least in part on purpose. She felt anger, sadness and pity all at once overshadow the gratitude she'd just been feeling for him. She didn't know what the hell had possessed him. He hadn't come close to doing anything like that in years. In the last few weeks he had been a little more protective and worried over her. He hadn't returned to Beta Station at all. He'd been checking on her with regularity and sometimes even volunteering to sit up with her at night when she was scared and Alexi was just too tired. She'd chalked it up to him being a good and caring friend but now in the moment she couldn't deny that his concern was still coming from a much deeper place.

What he'd just done was innocent enough but she knew that he'd done it intentionally, if only to take a little bit of her away with him when he left. Her heart broke for him and in tandem she cursed him for hanging so wretchedly onto what should have been left in their childhood. She could still remember being fourteen and in his arms, far too young but far too naive to know it. He'd been her first real kiss, her first real everything, except for her first love. He'd never had her heart like Alexi did. No one could. She wished that she could go back and take it all away. If she'd never given into adolescent curiosity and his sweet nature things wouldn't be like this for him now. What she'd seen as a fun and playful good time he'd stewed and cooked into years of longing. Longing, not even from afar but from right by her side. He stood next to Alexi on their wedding day and smiled through it. He even made a toast that night. She'd seen the sadness in his eyes. She could do nothing but ignore it and pray that it would go away. When other's brought it up over the years it made Katya hate them for noticing. She loved Blaze so much but she could never love him the way he loved her. He knew it, had accepted it, even more so he would never want to hurt his brother and still he couldn't make what he felt for her disappear. She wished that someone would come along who could.

"Ready, Captain?"

Katya was more than grateful when the medic returned to interrupt her thoughts.

With a little more convincing the medic agreed to a less invasive exam. Katya's vitals were taken and recorded and a few other precautions were taken. She never mentioned the ache in her back but it had lessened and seemed to be fading away. Pleased with her condition the medic gave Katya the choice of returning to duty or taking the rest of the day to relax. She decided that she would return to her post but she had something that she wanted to do first.

Exiting the curtain she found the senior Dr. Xao about to enter one of the private rooms nearby.

"Xao!" Katya shouted out after him.

He stopped and turned from the door.

"Yekaterina, were you examined?"

"Yes. I just got dizzy. Nothing happened to me. I didn't even fall," She assured the old man who looked quite unconvinced. "Please, will you just tell me what curtain Roslin is in?"

He looked her up and down and frowned.

"Tonight when things calm I want you to come back here and let Tawny examine you."

Out of respect she fought rolling her eyes.

"Fine. Okay. Just tell me if Roslin's alright."

He pressed his lips together before turning to open the door.

"Curtain five," He muttered.

"Xiè xie," She said in her best E-Rep.

She and Tawny had spent hours of their childhood trying to teach one another their native sector languages. Neither was easy to learn but they used to have great fun listening to each other try. It always amused Xao to hear the girls and he smiled to himself over Katya's thanks as he slipped inside the room.

Katya scanned the ward looking for curtain five. They so often rotated the numbers and she never seemed to know where anything was. Part of it, she knew, was just that she fought so hard to block out her surroundings whenever she was there. Once she found it she made a beeline for the partition. As she came upon it she stopped abruptly as if it were a blockade instead of a thin sheet of fabric. She'd been so anxious to make sure that Laura Roslin was alright but now she couldn't seem to force herself inside. Katya reconsidered going in at all. Laura was in good hands with the Xaos and Blazer was right; she was probably fine.

Katya wanted to get back to the control room. There was nothing wrong with her at the moment and she had a feeling that Kaplan would want to implement her new protocol standards ASAP now that there had been another attack. She was about to turn and leave when she heard Laura let out a single sigh behind the curtain. Her heart tensed at the sound. She didn't know why but the woman's voice just gave her a weird feeling that she couldn't explain. It was smooth and almost liquid. She'd imagined her mother's voice as a child so many times but she was never quite sure of what she would sound like. It was one of the only things about Laura Roslin that hadn't disappointed her those few months ago. Though Katya didn't always like the words that were coming out of the woman's mouth she couldn't help that the sound of her voice gave her the same feeling that being wrapped in a warm blanket did. When she heard Laura's pitiful little sigh she just couldn't make herself leave.

"Laura?" Katya winced.

She said her name quickly like she was tearing off an adhesive bandage, as if she expected it to somehow hurt.

"Yes?"

"It's Katya…can I come in?"

"Oh," Laura sounded caught off guard and a bit surprised. "Yes."

Katya hesitated when she thought that the invitation sounded a little forced but she made herself push the curtains to the side in a swift jerk. She just wanted to get a look at her and then she would leave.

When Laura saw Katya enter she smiled in spite of all the aches and pains she had. She was so relieved to see her. Bill had filled her in on Katya's episode in the control room. She knew how he'd watched the girl suffering on the floor with chaos all around them. She was actually a little upset with him at first for leaving their daughter's side. It was a feeling that didn't last long once Bill informed her that it was Katya who had insisted he leave to check on her. She was so glad to see the captain looking well. Though Bill assured her that the girl was fine she'd been worried, wondering if he were withholding details because of her own injury. She was glad to see that he'd been telling the truth.

"How's the head?" Katya asked as she stood at the foot of the bed.

"It hurts," Laura smirked. The cut had been sealed with a closure gun and was covered by a small strip bandage that did little to hide the surrounding bruise that was forming at her hairline. "I guess I hit the bathroom sink. I did a number on my back too but it's not too bad now. Whatever they gave me for the pain is kicking in. What about you?"

"Unlike you I had a nice soft landing," Katya teased." I mean, I did throw up once I got down there but I feel way better now. I'm totally fine."

"I'm glad to hear it," Laura said with a soft chuckle. "I was worried."

Katya looked down toward the floor and cleared her throat. She seemed to become uncomfortable at the honesty of Laura's statement. She looked up again after a beat.

"I heard Vladi played white knight," Katya ribbed with an arch of her brow and an impish smile. "Not bad for a toaster, hm?"

"That's what they told me," Laura shrugged. "I'm afraid that I don't remember much before I got here."

It was mostly a lie. Though the events after she'd first become dizzy were quite hazy she did have the distinct memory of waking up for a few coherent moments in the chromed arms of the valiant centurion. She wasn't even sure if she'd passed out again because of her head injury or from realizing that she was being carried through the corridors by a bullet head.

"Where's the Admiral?" The girl frowned realizing he was nowhere to be found.

She was sure that she was going to find him glued to Laura's side.

"I just sent him out of here for a while. I know that he really shouldn't have left his post for this, especially during high alert. I'm fine. Once he was sure of that I think he wanted to show the Commander that he isn't just wearing that uniform for show."

"I can understand that. He was worried, though. I couldn't see straight at the time but I can tell you that I heard the fear in his voice when they told us you'd been rushed here. He has priorities. I think you know what comes first for him, uniform or not."

"Yes, I do."

"So…" Katya said looking down at her thumbnail, "knowing that, are you still upset that he's joined?"

Laura tilted her head in consideration and then winced at the pain it caused. She was still learning what muscles were sore from her fall. Her discomfort with Bill's enlistment had been obvious on Delta. She hadn't even tried that hard to hide it. Now almost two weeks later she was finally coming to terms with the fact that he'd actually gone through with it.

"I'll get used to it, Katya. It's just, I think it might take some more time."

"Are you mad at him? Because to be honest I think enlisting has made him kind of happy. Well maybe not happy but at least something better than he was before."

"I was a bit angry to be quite frank. I didn't mean to be but I was," Laura admitted. "But you're exactly right. It did make him feel better about being here and after I saw that on Delta I couldn't be mad at him anymore. I'll adjust."

"That's good," Katya said truly relieved to hear it. "So are you going to take a nap?"

"They don't want me to sleep just yet. Slight concussion."

"Ah," Katya nodded, "I know how that feels. Well then…I came here to sit with you," She lied. She'd come to take a peek. She'd come in just to make sure that Laura's brains were still inside her skull so that she could go back to work without wondering. Now she was offering to stay. "If that's okay, that is?"

"Really?" Laura asked with a sheepish smile.

"Yes. I mean, you did it for me."

It wasn't just her overnight stay in Alpha's ward that she was referencing anymore.

After Katya's strange and alarming meeting with Sam Anders on Delta it was Laura who had accompanied her back to visitor's quarters and made sure that she was settled and calmed. Katya had been in a haze as Blazer walked them back to the cabin. She couldn't think straight. They'd even passed by Saul furiously berating Alexi in the hallway and instead of rushing to her husband's defense as she usually would, she'd blocked their voices out, put her head down and walked between Blaze and Laura until she couldn't see or hear them anymore. She could hardly remember the rest of the walk but she remembered getting to her door. Laura followed her in and insisted on waiting while she showered. Katya thought that she could remember a minimal back and forth of wills but she knew that she'd been the one to give in because Laura was still there when she'd come out of the head. She'd been dripping wet and shaking in her towel and it made Laura worry she was having some kind of anxiety attack or period of extended shock. Katya refused any further offers of help and eventually she got Laura to leave. She had been fighting the urge to cry since Anders put his slimy hand on her and she was so close to letting go. She just didn't want anyone to see it. Once Laura was finally gone she'd totally broken down. Alexi had found her on the bed an hour later, hair still damp and still wrapped in only a towel. She'd cried herself to sleep for reasons she still couldn't explain.

"I've gotten the sense that you don't like it in here much more than I do," Katya went on. "I thought I might keep you company…Just until the Admiral comes back though. I won't sleep over or anything," She ribbed.

"Very funny," Laura answered. She remembered how nervous she'd been to wake up that morning still by Katya's side. She'd been so afraid that she would be angry and now they were laughing about it. "Well that's very nice of you. You don't have to do that. I know you've had quite a morning yourself..." Laura stopped herself, worried her response was coming off as a denial of Katya's gesture, "but I won't turn down the company if you have the time," She added with a smile.

"I don't have the time," Katya corrected. She walked the few paces to the corner of the curtained off room as if she were on a mission and swiftly pulled an empty chair toward the bed. "I'm making the time."

Katya sat down with a pert look on her face that Laura couldn't help but smile at. She'd seen it now in a dozen Tigh home videos. It was a face Katya had made since she was a little girl. Laura almost expected it now when she watched the little clips. The cheeky expression was always followed by Ellen telling Katya not to get sassy but then giving in and kissing the smart little look off of her face until the girl broke into a fit of laughter. Laura had started replaying the moments in her mind as she daydreamed, trying to imagine herself in Ellen's shoes. She wasn't sure what kind of mother she would have made. She was sure that she probably wouldn't have been anything like Ellen Tigh but she still couldn't help but envy all of the woman's precious memories.

"Are you okay, Katya? I mean really?" She asked, the smile on her face quickly becoming a look of concern. She searched her daughter's indigo eyes for any hint of distress. "I know what I felt before I passed out and it was honestly terrifying."

"I'm fine," Katya said with absolution but as she looked back at Laura her face started to show its own form of concern. "Do you understand what happened to us, Laura?"

"I think so."

"Then you understand that it's probably going to happen every time there's a breach from now on?" Katya asked, though she hoped it wouldn't wind up to be the case.

Ellen and Margot needed to find a fix soon. This was dangerous. Laura had been in the shower doing a benign daily task and she'd gotten seriously injured. What would their lives be like if this continued?

"I guess so," Laura considered. "I mean I understand to a point."

Katya nodded.

"Alexi and Blaze were totally out this time just like the others. It seems like you and I felt it at the level they'd been experiencing before."

Laura grimaced. It was yet another thing lumping her in with the cylon left in the world and she hated it.

"Bill said that it hit D'Anna and Sam too."

"Yes," Katya confirmed, "Ellen was there with them. All three of them were out. They're okay now. Elle was actually glad that she was with them for their first time. They'd been warned about what's been going on but I'm sure she felt better being there with them for their first experience. Whatever this is it's getting stronger. I never thought I had enough cylon in me to be affected but as much as I know you hate it…well, it turns out we both do," Katya said looking down at her lap. "I'm sorry that you got hurt."

Laura reached out for Katya's hand but she missed it as she took it away to rub at her lower back.

"It's not your fault, Katya. It was unavoidable. We didn't know."

"I know that. It's just…I know how much time you spent in a bed like this. You've done it enough. You shouldn't have to do it anymore. For any reason."

Laura's heart was warmed by the girl's honest concern. She knew that it couldn't be easy for her to say such things.

"Sometimes people get sick," Laura shrugged.

Katya was sure that she saw a glimmer of suggestion in Laura's eyes and she had to shake her head at it. Laura really was just as bad as Ellen.

With a sigh she leaned back in her chair hoping that it would ease the ache in her back.

"Well I hate it here," She said biting at her thumb nail as she spoke. "When I was eight I got really sick. I mean really sick for a little kid. Some sort of flu or something," She started as she leaned forward again." It advanced really quickly and I had such an awful fever that I was hallucinating. Big surprise, huh?" She teased getting small but sad smile from Laura. "I just remember feeling so bad because Ellen was crying and I wanted to be okay for her. I hate seeing her cry. It's the worst. I've always hated it. It just…kills me. Anyway, Uncle Saul was afraid to move me so Xao came and did a cabin call." Katya looked off to the side and quietly sighed as she thought of the awful childhood memory. "Then the next thing I can remember is waking up here. I was really anemic and Xao wanted to give me a blood transfusion but…well…I can't get a transfusion from anyone but you. I guess that's thanks to Alexi's father, Dr. Baltar," She smirked, looking back at Laura. She saw something strange flash in the woman's eyes as she said it but she went on anyway. "That meant that they would have to take you out of stasis just for that and even though I was deathly ill the EOC didn't want to approve your removal.. Sometimes I think they saw it as an opportunity to get rid of me. Their theory about the four of us was already a bust and a huge scandal. My death would have meant one less reminder for the population." Laura cringed at the morbid implication but Katya just gave a simper of a smile and shrugged."Ellen went crazy. She went absolutely nuts on them and as you can imagine, she got her way. You were out by the end of the day. They took a small supply of your blood while they had you out just in case anything ever happened to me again. Most people in Orbit can actually take synthetic transfusions but there isn't anything like that for cylons and there sure as hell isn't anything like that for you and me, well except each other," Katya mused. "After the transfusion I started to feel a lot better but I also started to become more aware of my surroundings and I hated being here. Ellen never left my side but I still couldn't stand it. I was so happy to go home. "

Laura's heart sank thinking of her child gravely ill and so afraid in the same place they both now sat. She genuinely thanked the gods for Ellen Tigh. Whatever else the woman was, she'd been her daughter's fearless protector. Laura was envious that she hadn't been able to fill the role herself but at least someone had.

"You're right," Laura said as she rubbed at her tender neck. "I do hate this place."

"That's the spirit," Katya teased. Looking down at the mattress she sucked at her lower lip for a second before peering up with a new light in her eyes. "Do you want to get out of here, Laura?"

Laura smiled and shook her head.

"As much as I'd like to, Katya, I don't think that's a good idea. I should probably follow Tawny's orders and stay the night."

Katya rolled her eyes.

"Yes, you probably should but I wasn't asking you to leave," She corrected.

Laura's brow furrowed and she looked back at Katya totally confused for a moment before the meaning of the girl's words sunk in.

"Oh…no, Katya," She suddenly said as her eyes went wide in understanding. "No. I'm sorry. I can't. I can't do that."

Katya folded her arms over her chest.

"Yes you can. You mean you don't want to," She accused.

"I don't know. Maybe that's the more accurate answer," Laura relented.

"Why not?"

"Why not, what?"

"Why don't you want to?"

Laura was in a bit of shock over what she was being asked to do. Katya had grown up totally at ease with her strange abilities. The girl didn't seem to understand just how hard the reality of them was for her.

"I just…I'm not...comfortable."

Katya sighed in frustration.

"Are you comfortable here, Laura? Do you like the antiseptic smell? Hm?" She was being purposefully antagonistic. She didn't exactly want to bully Laura into it but as far as she was concerned the other woman was being irrational and stubborn. Why should they waste the gift they had? "Does that obnoxious beeping making you comfortable? How about knowing that there are three injured pilots in here right now; one who's probably going to die before the end of the day? Does that make you comfortable? "

Laura pressed herself further into her pillows as if she were backing away from the point that was being so harshly made.

"No."

"Me either," Katya huffed. "Makes me sick."

"Katya, if being here is upsetting you then you really don't have to stay," Laura argued.

"I know that I don't have to. I'm choosing to even though it's awful and I hate it. I came because I thought it might make things a little bit better for you. I wanted to return the favor."

"I'm grateful for that."

With Laura's expression of appreciation Katya settled herself.

"So let me help. Let's get out of here. Just for a while. If you don't like it we'll stop," She posed but Laura still looked unconvinced. "Look I'm going to sit here whether you agree to project or not. I just think you're making the wrong choice."

Laura looked down at the ward sheets that covered her lap. Even the linens were awful; scratchy and harsh against already sensitive bruised skin and bones. She never understood why more effort wasn't put into the comfort of patients. She was in a totally different world and the sheets that were currently draped over her were just as awful as the ones her mother lay dying upon in the Caprica City Cancer Center for Women, and they were just as rough as they were in Cottle's Sick Bay.

"Where would we go?" She winced.

"I have an idea," Katya said leaning her elbows onto the edge of the mattress. "What do you say?"

When Katya held her hand out Laura knew in an instant that she wasn't going to be able to resist taking it no matter how much she didn't want to project. It was almost unfair. She'd been lured in by bate that she couldn't possibly resist. She slowly reached to clasp her daughter's hand.

Katya smiled. She was sure that she could help Laura if she would just let her. She just needed to give it a chance.

"Good," Katya said giving Laura's hesitant hand a gentle squeeze. "Let's just give it a shot. Okay? Ready?"

Laura looked at their bound fingers, so alike that she could hardly tell which were hers and which here her daughter's. She bit down hard on her tongue trying not to object. She wasn't ready. She was nowhere near ready but she also wasn't letting go. She offered the slightest nod that she could, letting Katya interpret it herself. The young woman gave her a little smile and for a moment they silently held on to one another.

"Just let me know before you…" Laura's request died on her lips.

The ward was already gone. There was already cold sand under her feet and a bitter salt in the air. She could already hear gulls calling and the waves rumbling in and breaking against the shore.

"Are you okay, Laura?"

Laura nodded but she knew that her assurance was probably less than convincing. She felt her mouth open but she couldn't speak. She looked up toward the grey sky and out at the green waters and felt a split second of panic. She had to remind herself that none of it was real no matter how tangible it all felt. Everything was so vivid and so clear but what was even more profoundly astounding was how familiar it all was.

"What's wrong?" Katya asked giving Laura's hand a firm squeeze to get her attention.

When Laura looked back and Katya let go of her she had to stop herself from pulling the girl's hand back. She tried to wrap her head around the fact that though Katya let go in the projection they were still holding hands in the ward. Weren't they? She was so confused and so distracted by the sights around her.

"Nothing…Nothing's wrong, exactly."

"Something is. What's the matter? You don't like it?"

"It's not that…It's just…" Laura hesitated. She didn't want to come off sounding totally crazy. She was afraid that Katya would think that the projection had finally thrown her over the deep end. "Katya, where did you see this beach?" She tested. "Was it something that Ellen showed you?"

Katya shook her head and tugged at the light and flowy skirt that she wore. Its mossy green matched the color of the waves. Her uniform was gone and her hair was down and blowing with the breeze. She'd exchanged Laura's hospital gown for something similar, putting her in the same burgundy red that she'd worn to the Officer's Ball. She liked her in that color. It suited her.

"No. She's only really ever shown me the one that you accidently saw. And a lake or two. I don't really know where this came from," Katya shrugged. "Maybe I saw a picture of it on the network or something. I don't know. It showed up in a dream I had. It was pretty so I thought I'd try to project it."

Laura's eyes went wide and her brow rose.

"You dreamt this?"

"Yes"

"When?"

"Umm…The night of the ball I think? It was when we were still on Delta Station. I don't know how well I did putting it together. I told you, I've never been to the surface. I did my best but if something's wrong tell me."

Katya didn't know the half of it. Laura still wasn't sure if she should tell her or not. She was almost certain that they were standing on the same beach from her own recent dream. She kept scanning her surroundings trying to take everything in and the more she looked around the more familiar it felt. Katya wanted her to look for mistakes but she couldn't get over just how close it was to being perfectly identical to the one she'd dreamed of. From the fine sands to the green waters and downy gray sky it echoed it exactly, that was, until she looked out toward the horizon.

"What? What is it?" Katya asked.

"Nothing. It's beautiful," Laura said shaking her head.

"But something's wrong. Just tell me."

"Well…the horizon line…the perspective...It's a little, well…off."

"Oh," Katya said turning toward the water. She put her hands on her hips as she tried to evaluate what she'd done wrong but for the life of her she didn't know. "Well…then fix it," She shrugged, turning back to Laura.

"Me?"

"Yeah, you" Katya mocked.

Laura looked at her in disbelief. It was the most absurd request she'd ever gotten in either of her lives.

"I can't do that."

Katya crossed her arms over her middle and gave Laura a challenging look.

"You probably can. I didn't think that I could do much other than share these with Ellen and I eventually found out that I could do a whole lot more than that. I bet you can too."

"I don't want to, Katya. I don't even know how. You fix it."

Katya huffed in frustration.

"If I knew how to fix it then it wouldn't be wrong, now would it?"

Laura frowned and gave a nervous hum. She wasn't thinking clearly.

"I guess not."

"Just try it."

"I don't even know where to start," Laura said at a loss.

Katya closed in on the gap that was between them and took hold of both Laura's hands.

Laura was anxious and a little frightened over what was happening but she couldn't help that in the midst of it all the feeling of holding her daughter's hands made her melt.

As they stood joined together Katya closed her eyes and took a deep breath of the salty sea air.

"It's alright, Laura. Just sort of concentrate and focus and then think about how it's supposed to look," She explained in a more gentle voice than Laura thought she'd ever heard her use before.

"You make it sound so easy."

"I'm not asking you to lift weights," Katya teased, back to her usually wry inclinations. "C'mon. Just try. It's gunna bug me the whole time if I know that something is wrong. Help me fix it."

Laura couldn't tell if Katya was playing her or not. If she was then she was doing a damn good job of it. Her innocent request for assistance was too much for Laura to deny. She cringed as she thought of every homework assignment and arts and crafts project that she'd never helped her with. Could she really deny helping her daughter fix her creation? Laura had a flash of her dream with the little girl on the beach; the tiny toddler who was so happy to play in the sand. She'd tried to help her then. She'd turned her back for only moments and lost her. She couldn't help the child with her tiny little lake and sand cabin. How could she help her fix an entire beach? Laura worried that no matter how hard she ever tried to help her child it would never be right. She felt the threat of tears burn at her eyes and she closed them tight. She bowed her head toward the ground not wanting Katya to notice.

"Huh…so that's what it's supposed to look like," She heard the girl say. "That is better."

Laura opened her eyes and looked at Katya who was staring over her shoulder. Katya let Laura's hands go and gestured for her to take a look. When she did she felt a warm rush heat her face. The perspective was fixed.

"That was me?"

"Yup."

"You didn't do it?"

"Nope," Katya answered simply. "Hell, I didn't know anything was wrong. How could I have fixed it?" She posed as she continued to look past Laura and out at the sealine. "Hmm, your eyes are the same green as the water," Katya observed thinking back to the little girl in her dream; rybka with eyes like the sea.

Laura was still so stunned that she hardly heard her.

"I can't believe I frakking did that," She rasped. "I think I need to sit down."

Katya laughed as she watched Laura start to anxiously wring her hands.

"You're laying in bed right now, Laura. You don't need to sit," She reminded. "Don't worry. Nothing can hurt you here. Nothing physical, that is. At least nothing that comes from here. I'm afraid that it won't do much for the pain of your injuries except distract you," She explained as she reached behind her back trying push her thumb in deep enough to rub at her own discomfort. "You'll still feel what you came with. So what else did I screw up?" She asked putting her hands back to her hips.

Laura noticed that Katya wasn't wearing her cuff in the projection and as she looked down at her own wrist she saw that she wasn't either. For a moment she was happy to be free of it but something about its absence made Laura a little sad. It told her that though Katya had grown up knowing nothing else, somehow she felt the burden of living a life of confinement. In the girl's fantasy she was free of any signs of it.

"Nothing. It's good. I like it very much. It's peaceful it's just..."

"What?"

"Katya, I've been here before," Laura blurted.

"What?" The young woman said with a scowl.

Laura began to rub at her forehead and winced when she brushed against her newly sealed cut.

"I had a dream not that long ago too…of a beach. It looked just like this."

Katya shook her head. This was the beach from her own dream. It had come out of nowhere and it was hers. The dream had been strange and a little sad but after she'd seen it Katya knew that if she were to ever share a projection with Laura that beach would be it. She would never let her back on Ellen's beach. That was theirs and theirs alone but the beach from her recent dream was perfect. It suited she and Laura better. Ellen's beach had mellow waters, warm sun, and golden sand. This place was a little rough with it's overcast and white capped rolling waves but it was intriguing and inviting in a way that Katya couldn't explain. It made her think of her Laura. She'd planned to show it to her someday if the situation ever presented itself. She didn't understand how the other woman could have possibly seen it already.

"I don't get it."

"I don't either, Katya," Laura admitted. She balled her hands into fists and steeled her will, "Katya was I in your dream?"

The young woman's brow crinkled at the strange question.

"No. Why?"

"Because you were in mine," Laura admitted. "We were here. I'm almost sure."

"I was in your dream?" Katya grimaced.

Laura could have told Katya the truth. She could have told her daughter how she was in so many of her dreams. She could have admitted that she dreamed of rocking her to sleep as a baby and playing with her as a little girl. She could have told her that she still had awful nightmares of the lab and hearing her tiny cries with no way to help her. She could have told Katya how even those heart wrenching nightmares meant so much because she was in them. She could have, but she wouldn't. She wouldn't tell her any of that.

"Yes," Laura answered simply.

"I was alone," Katya lied, leaving out the strange little green-eyed girl who had made an appearance.

"Oh."

Laura seemed almost seemed disappointed. Katya was annoyed by her reaction. It was so rare that she dreamt of anything other than rotating spinning horror and she was expected to dream of Laura Roslin on the nights that she was spared? It was ridiculous and even so she wished that she could tell Laura otherwise just to get the look of sadness off of her face.

"It's just sand and water, Laura," Katya shrugged. "Are you sure that it's the same? I mean it's a beach. Don't a lot of them look alike?"

Laura shook her head and looked down shore.

"Those rocks, I saw them. I just know this was it."

She was insistent and Katya didn't know what to do for her. More than that, it was starting to make her feel a little uneasy.

"I don't know what to tell you. Maybe we both saw a picture of it on the network and then dreamt about it. Sometimes the cabin image screens run satellite photos of Earth when you leave them idle for too long. That's probably it. In fact I'd bet on it. Otherwise I'm not sure how my mind came up with it. I only know one beach and that's Ellen's. It's not even from this planet. Her beach, the one you accidentally saw, it was from her Earth. This one…I don't know. It's possible you and I just saw the same image someplace."

Katya could convince herself to be satisfied with that explanation for now but Laura wasn't buying it.

"Katya, I wasn't looking up beaches on the network. I never saw this place before my dream," She insisted.

Katya stepped back and narrowed her eyes.

"Look, if you want to stop just go ahead and say so," She accused.

Katya was losing her patience. She had a weird feeling in her core and she couldn't tell if it was physical or if Laura's eerie dream connection was making her feel strange. Either way she didn't like it. She'd done this to help and Laura seemed almost disturbed by it. If it wasn't helping either one of them then there was no point.

"No. No. I don't want to stop. I don't," Laura assured her.

"Well then will you stop obsessing over it? I can change it to something else. Ellen showed me a forest trail once. That might be nice. It just seems like a lot more for me to screw up. Unless you want to try one?"

"No," Laura said a little louder than she intended. "This is fine. It's good," She smiled, trying to appear convincing.

"Fine," Katya relented,."Then…do you want to take a walk?"

Laura looked down the shoreline and licked at her lips. How the hell could she actually taste the tang of the salt in the air?

"Yes…I do."

"Good."

They walked quietly for a while just skimming the surf line. The water was cold so they stayed where the sand turned damp. Laura had to marvel at every detail. She wondered what kind of concentration it took for Katya to maintain it all. She couldn't understand how it worked. When she'd fixed the horizon it felt like nothing. She'd merely thought of it and it happened. It was like any thought she'd ever had. Was it possible that an artificial extension of herself could feel so natural? She wondered if she could really create a projected space all on her own. Every grain of sand they walked upon was coming from her daughter's mind and she was blown away at the thought.

"You've really never been to the surface, Katya ?" She asked after a while.

Katya shook her head and kicked at the sand as they continued to walk.

"Never. It used to be standard for basic training. Too risky now. Now the only soldiers who get sent are ones who are selected for special-ops training. More Marines are selected than Orbit Patrol. Alexi went once."

"He did?"

"Yup. I mean, he didn't get to spend much time there. They do ground training in deserted areas but once they're noticed by bots they're out of there and sometimes not everyone makes it back. Pretty shitty to lose kids in basic. That's why most of us don't go anymore. We need special-ops though, for resource replenishment and ground research. Even though most of our needs are renewable here, there are times that it's necessary. Alexi got passed the training but he was taken off of SO and I'm glad. Sometimes I think that Saul or Ellen had something to do with it but if Alexi ever suspected that he'd be livid. He's never been sent back."

Laura nodded. Weeks ago she'd thought that Saul and Ellen had been so careless with the safety of these children who they'd supposedly been watching over. She couldn't get over how young they'd married and how early they'd taken on such dangerous professions. It made her angry that they didn't have better guidance. She still couldn't help feeling that way in some respects but it was obvious that whatever decisions the Tighs had made, wrong or right, they had been made from a place of love.

"Did he tell you about it?"

"Not much. He said that it was strange to see the sky. He said the blue was the most striking thing about it. He'd seen pictures like everyone but I guess really seeing it was different. He said that it took his breath away. Oh. and he said it smelled there."

"It smelled?" Laura giggled.

"Yeah. They were training in an open area; a field of some sort. He said that the air constantly smelled of the topsoil and the low layer of vegetation that covered the ground."

Laura squinted.

"So…it smelled like grass and dirt?"

She had to giggle. It was so surreal to hear the young woman talk about something so natural as if it were so foreign but Laura finally realized just how alien it really was to Katya and it made her laughter stop.

"I guess," Katya shrugged. "I don't know what the hell that smells like."

"You'll get to one day."

"Yeah well, let's hope," Katya said, mostly dismissing the notion. "How's your head?"

"I'm okay," Laura smiled. "I feel better now. I think this is helping."

"Really?"

The bit of hopefulness in Katya's voice made Laura grin. She actually seemed like she was surprised and happy to hear that she'd really helped. Laura was sorry for how ungrateful she must have seemed at first.

"Yes. I think so. I like it here."

"Okay."

Katya looked over and gave her a nod and a little smile in return. They continued walking down the never-ending coast.

"Katya, I really want to talk to you about your dreams," Laura attempted after a while.

She so badly wanted to, especially after seeing the beach. There was something to their dreams. There had to be. Maybe not this one, maybe not the beach dream in particular but it showed there was something special about their nightly visions.

"I brought us here so we could relax," Katya argued.

"I know. I know that."

"So can't we just do that?"

"I think it's important. I think we need to talk about them. Some of them at least."

"Not now."

"When?"

"Not now," Katya repeated. "Not here. This isn't for that. Okay? I just I don't want to ruin this place with that garbage. If you want to stop and talk then, fine. We can stop. It's your choice but otherwise lets save it for later."

"Later?" Laura said with some hope to her voice.

There was a certain appeal in knowing that there would be a later for them at all. Later meant Laura would get to spend time with her again.

"Yeah, later," Katya agreed, "Is that okay?"

"Yeah. We can talk later. Sure."

Katya nodded glad to get past the debate.

"You know, I started keeping a journal like you talked about," She offered.

She wouldn't talk about her nightmares but they needed something to discuss.

"You did?" Laura smiled.

"Yes. I mean I guess it's not really the same. You wrote with ink and paper. I've been using my cuff or the cabin tablets but I think I like it. I've only done it a few times but you're right; getting things out does feel a little better."

"That's good, Katya. I'm really glad that you're trying it."

"I also tried what you said about directing it toward someone other than myself. I tried just writing things down. It wasn't working. It sounded like I was just making a list or writing into the void. I didn't like it but when I tried to write as if it were to someone specific it just came out better. I don't know. I might keep doing it…for now."

"I think that's good, Katya."

Laura's heart swelled with something like pride as she thought of her daughter taking her advice and actually finding some benefit to it.

"I guess. It's just...I dunno…I asked you before about what you would do if anyone ever read yours. You said that half of the things you wrote you would have never really shared. You said that some of the things you wrote were better off unsaid and lost in the exodus. I can't see writing anything down to someone that I wouldn't really say to them. Though, I suppose writing things is easier than actually saying them. I just don't want to write anything down to someone that I couldn't live with them seeing. Does that make sense? "

Laura had to admire Katya's perspective. It showed a sense of honesty or at least intended honesty. She was still glad that her journal from New Caprica had been abandoned with the planet. The dark secrets and memories she'd written about to Bill had been lost to decay in the mud where they belonged. She could hardly stomach the thought of him ever reading some of the pages she'd penned to him. She was happy to know that her daughter was taking a healthier approach to coping.

"It makes perfect sense. Maybe that's a good policy. You just make it your own. Make it into what you need it to be," Laura encouraged. "My mother suggested it to me when I was around, oh I don't know, fourteen, fifteen maybe. Journaling got me through some tough times. It was some of the best advice that my mother ever gave me."

"Your mother…"Katya seemed to ponder out loud.

"Yes," Laura squinted. "What?"

Katya stopped walking and pensively tilted her head. Of course she'd known that Laura must have had parents but she'd never given them much thought. Laura had mentioned two sisters before and now she'd spoken about her mother. Katya was building up the little Roslin family tree in her head the same way she'd done when Saul spoke of Lee, Zak and other Adamas over the years.

"I don't know. I guess…I…nothing," She shrugged and continued walking.

"My mother was full of good ideas like that," Laura continued as they strolled on. "She was a teacher like I was. She was a brilliant woman. She always had the best advice. I lost her too soon. Sometimes that was the worst part. I was always wondering what other wisdom she never got to give me."

Katya frowned. She understood the feeling well.

"I'm sorry to hear that. I feel that way about my dad sometimes. I always wonder about what he had left to teach me."

"Feels sort of unfair doesn't it?" Laura posed.

"Lots of things feel unfair," Katya shrugged in dismissal. So much of her life had been unfair. Now the injustice just felt familiar. "What was her name?"

"My mother?"

Laura sounded a little surprised at the question, simple as it was.

"Yes."

"Judith."

Katya nodded in consideration, committing the name to memory.

"She taught grade school," Laura added. "She um, died of breast cancer too."

Katya shook her head. She should have figured as much. She wondered how many strong and beautiful woman within the family's lineage had been reduced to ashes by the very gene that still laid dormant inside of her.

"You said that you had sisters. Did either of them…"

"No. They didn't," Laura answered before Katya could finish. "But they both died very young. I'm not sure that either of them would have if they'd lived long enough."

"I'm sorry. I didn't know that."

"That's okay," Laura answered.

They walked a few paces before Katya sighed and shook her head. She was fed up with herself.

"I don't know anything about you, Laura. I'm sorry. Uncle Saul tried but he didn't know you. He knew so much about the Admiral; all sorts of stories from when they were young. He knew his family and friends, hobbies. Everything he ever told me about you was relegated to those last four years of your life. And I know that you two went through a lot together but I also know that you weren't exactly friends. He couldn't answer the simplest questions sometimes. He knew nothing about your life before you fled the Colonies other than your position in the government…I know nothing. It's always bothered me."

Laura lost her breath for a moment.

"I know even less about you," She managed to say. "I don't like it either."

Katya nodded in consideration. A wave rolled in and the shallow part of the surf got their feet as they walked.

"Well, what would you want to know?" Katya posed.

Laura smiled. She wasn't expecting the inquiry.

"Oh I don't know. A thousand little things," She shrugged.

"Oh," Katya frowned at the vague response.

Laura looked over and saw the disappointment on her face. Maybe she should have been ready with an answer. She didn't want the girl to think that she'd just been feeding her a line.

There was so much she wanted to know about her daughter. So often she would lay awake at night thinking about all the things that she wished that she knew about her child and now she was having trouble coming up with a worthy response.

"Like…simple things. Things like…umm…your favorite food," She suggested. Katya gave a silent giggle and Laura immediately regretted the example. "I'm sorry," She winced, "Maybe not that. I've heard about…"

"That's okay," Katya cut her off. "So you know about what went on with the four of us as children?"

"Just a little."

Katya nodded and licked at her lips.

"I'm not sure what you've heard. Saul and Ellen make it sound so much worse than it ever was," Katya defended. It was a habit. There were plenty of trials and tests that her father had included her in that she knew he probably shouldn't have but she still felt so compelled to defend him and his work. "I mean, I'm fine. It's just a nuisance really. The boys were never bothered by it and Margot's so much more disciplined about it than I am. She makes sure that she supplements the meals that she misses. I just get lazy about it sometimes. It used to drive Saul and Ellen crazy. Ellen would go nuts trying to get me to eat a full meal. Uncle Saul would keep little candies in his pocket and pop one in my mouth once in awhile when Ellen wasn't looking," Katya laughed at the memory and Laura chuckled softly along at the image of the gruff and stern Colonel Tigh having a constant supply of candy in his pockets. "I think he was always afraid I was going waste away. I didn't though. I couldn't. I needed to keep my strength up for ballet and then when I enlisted. I'm hardly a wafe," She argued. Katya was thin and her graceful frame made her look as if she might be lithe and delicate under her clothes but her years of classical training had made her lean and sturdy. She could both punch and pirouette and she was proud of it. "Those supplements that my father's trial helped to make are perfectly healthy. I've relied on them a lot over the years. I still do a lot of the time. At least the experiment wasn't a waste. If something ever happened to Beta's greenhouses we would all be living off of them until we could get another grow-ops started. They've helped the sick and elderly in a lot of ways too. There are a lot of things that I'm ashamed that my father did but that trial isn't one of them. I'm proud of that. If he had to use me to do it then…well it's like I always tell Margot, we were born to serve," She explained and it made Laura's heart sink in her chest. "I used to have a favorite food though," Katya added, done with her dutiful defense. "When I was little, before the trial. I guess it's still my favorite. I'm just hardly hungry for it."

"What is it?"

"Pierogies," Katya answered knowing that Laura wouldn't have the faintest idea of what she'd just said. "It's a traditional dish from the old Eastern Federalist region. It's sort of like a dumpling. They have a potato filling. It's a big ball of starch but it's good. My Babushka Marina used to make them when I was little."

"Ba-bush-ka?" Laura repeated the strange word.

Katya had to chuckle at Laura's awkward diction.

"My father's mother," She clarified. "My grandmother, I guess you could say. Though I don't think she really ever saw me as her grandchild. She was a scientist too, an organic chemist. She lived on Gamma Station. Marina Isakoff didn't really agree with her son's choice to raise me as his daughter. In her mind I was never his child. She made that clear enough even to a little kid."

"That's awful," Laura grimaced.

"I suppose it didn't make me feel very welcome at family gatherings but she made the best pierogies," Katya teased as if it somehow made up for it. "My father's sister, my Tetya Yelena, she was always very nice to me. It's not like I was totally shunned. After my father died my grandmother never came to visit me on Alpha again. I guess she figured that she didn't have to bother with me anymore just to please him. Tetya Yelena still came sometimes though and she would bring my cousin Miloŝ with her. He's the one who brings the vodka every few weeks. It's their distillery on Gamma Station. Yelena has always been sweet to me. She makes the pierogies now that my grandmother is gone. She sends them over with Miloŝ sometimes. I might not be very hungry most times but I can enjoy those when they come."

Laura smiled. She was suddenly pleased with the foolish little question she'd nervously spouted. She'd learned so much just from it alone. She had to admit that most of it wasn't very pleasant but she knew it now and that couldn't be taken away from her.

"I'd like to try them sometime."

"Aunt Ellen tried to make them once," Katya laughed. "She was so desperate to get me to eat. Poor woman. She called Yelena who kindly and patiently tried to talk her through it. It was hilarious."

"I bet it was," Laura said as her grin grew. Somehow she couldn't picture Ellen in the kitchen. "It's sweet that she tried though."

"Ellen's never been afraid to try anything," Katya said proudly. " I think that's what's made her such a good mom. She didn't know what she was doing a lot of the time but she always tried for me. Uncle Saul and I choked those pierogies down that night with a smile on our faces," She giggled recalling how hard she had to suppress her gag reflex and how Saul attempted to hide of few of his in some napkins. While Ellen cleaned the kitchen that night he helped Katya get ready for bed and told her that if Ellen turned her cooking into a habit that they would look into getting a dog. "So what about you?"

"Me?" Laura narrowed her eyes.

"Yes. Is there a food that you miss from back in the Colonies? Uncle Saul told me that for a long time in the fleet you all survived on only an algae protein. We grow something like that on Beta. I just can't imagine anyone living off of it alone. You must have missed some foods from your home," Katya proposed.

"I did." Laura gave a little hum recalling the bitter taste the green protein gave almost everything they ate for the last few years." That algae wasn't much to bite into," She mused. "Sometimes I guess it made me miss a good steak."

Katya squinted.

"Steak?" She repeated. "Oh, you mean like from an animal?"

Laura smirked.

"Yes…A cow."

"I've seen pictures of cows before. Oh…that actually makes me kind of sad."

Laura laughed quietly at the sweet perspective of the girl as she realized she'd never eaten an animal in her life.

"Well we don't have that here," Katya shrugged. "But maybe one day I'll try and make us some pierogies. I've never cooked anything before but maybe I'll have better luck than Ellen. Perhaps it helps to be an Isakoff. My babushka saved the recipe somewhere on the network before she died. The woman was good for something at least."

Laura's heart sunk at the mention of Katya's grandmother. She wondered what it must have been like for her to feel rejected at such a young age by someone who should have adored her.

"I wish that she would have appreciated you, Katya."

"She had Miloŝ. He was her grandchild, her blood. He wasn't adopted. She loved him. She had no use for me."

Laura cringed at just how casually Katya seemed to say the words. It came off as if it had all been learned and accepted long ago.

"My mother wanted grandchildren so much," Laura recalled. "Adopted or not I can't imagine her making a child feel unwanted. It's something that she didn't get to experience in life. Though sometimes I think she got to in death."

"What do you mean?" Katya asked as she slowed the pace of her steps.

"My sister, Sandra; she was expecting a baby when she passed away. I'm not sure…It's so hard to remember where I was before the resurrection but I just have a feeling that the child's soul was with us there."

Katya stopped walking. She felt her face go flush and her heart grow as heavy as lead in her chest.

"What…what do you mean? What happened to her? The baby…"

Laura turned, realizing Katya had paused a few paces back.

"It was a motor vehicle accident," Laura explained, unsure if Katya would even understand the concept. They had electric carts and transport vehicles aboard the stations but she wasn't sure that the girl had ever seen a street car or roads. "A drunk driver caused it. Both my sisters were killed in the wreck, my father too. Sandra's baby didn't make it."

Katya suddenly felt stricken with painful grief not just for the young woman who'd taken her baby to the afterlife with her but for Laura. She'd always wanted to know more about her mother's life before she fled her home but nothing about it sounded very good so far. Laura had outlived her whole family. It seemed like she'd suffered so much loss in her life. Saul had told Katya over and over how strong of a woman Laura was. He was right but he didn't know how right he was.

"I don't think I've ever heard something so awful."

Katya spoke so softly that Laura could hardly hear her voice over the breaking waves. For a moment she regretted telling her. The sky suddenly seemed to be growing darker, the air had become thick and oppressive. When she heard a dull distant roll of thunder and she quickly realized that Katya's reaction was inadvertently coming through in their surroundings. It gave her the chills. She had to do something to ease the girl's mind somehow and get rid of the melancholy atmosphere that had quickly taken over.

"I know now how at peace they all are, Katya. I didn't before and that made my last life a lot harder. Now I know because I've been there. I don't have the same sadness that I did before."

Katya nodded and as Laura continued to walk she followed suit. Soon the sky lightened and the air thinned a bit.

"I never considered that. It's sort of nice to think about," Katya thought aloud.

"What is?"

"The baby," She answered. "I guess that I never thought that once a baby was lost its soul would meet its family just like anyone else. It's sort of comforting."

"I guess it is."

They walked a while more in silence before Katya spoke again.

"Laura did you ever have children?" She asked, wincing at her own question. "Saul could never say for sure."

Katya was almost sure that she knew the answer. Laura spoke of her sister's child being with her in the afterlife but none of her own.

"No."

"I know it's none of my business but…was it by choice?"

Katya knew that she shouldn't be asking such a question. She couldn't get much more personal than that. It was rude. Ellen had always taught her never to ask another woman about such things. They both understood what it was like to be put on the spot and have to explain something so private. She was just so curious. She never questioned how much Ellen loved and wanted her because she knew that she'd so desperately wanted a child for so long. She didn't know if Laura had ever even considered it.

"Yes, it was by choice. I just didn't think I could handle it. The concept terrified me."

That answered it well enough. Not only had the woman's unconscious body been forced to bear a child, but her conscious mind had never wanted one in the best of circumstances. Laura had to deal with what was done to her waiting body and now she was being confronted with something that she'd purposely avoided in her last life. It wasn't fair. Katya couldn't help but curse her father for what he'd done. It was just another reason that she knew she was never supposed to be.

"I'm sorry that choice was taken away from you here, Laura," Katya said solemnly.

She didn't know what else to say to her.

"Katya…" Laura started, "I…I appreciate what you're saying but I just can't feel that way anymore," She told the young woman as she stopped in the sand and turned to face her. Katya furrowed her brow as she stilled, unsure of what Laura was saying. "It's still hard for me to accept what was done to this body. Conscious or not, no one should never be treated that way…I just…I can't be sorry for what resulted of it anymore. I just can't," She admitted as if she was letting out a secret that she'd been holding in for far too long.

"Laura, don't you understand what was done to you?" Katya asked, considering that she might on some level still be confused or perhaps in denial about all the that had been done to her new body.

"Yes. I do. I've seen it all now. All of it."

"Then how can you say that?" Katya challenged. "If you're doing it for my benefit then you don't have to. I understand exactly what happened to this body that you're in. I know what it went through. And now something that you never wanted was just forced upon you."

Katya put her arms out in an exaggerated self-display before folding them over her middle.

"Katya, that isn't entirely true."

"Isn't it? Do you know what the worst part is?" Katya smirked bitterly. "They did it all for nothing. They violated all of you for nothing. Don't you realize that if the concept of my birth hadn't been a complete and total failure that you'd still be resting peacefully with the Admiral and your families? If I had turned out to be what they wanted you would never have had to come here. I don't need to be pacified, Laura. I've known these truths a lot longer than you have. I know that I shouldn't be here."

Laura crossed her arms as she felt the breeze start to pick up.

"I don't believe that," She said shaking her head and moving some errant hairs away from her eyes.

"Laura…"

"No Katya!" Laura shouted, though she hadn't intended to. "I am not saying this for your benefit though I wish like hell I could make you understand it for your own good…I'm glad that you're here. You might think I'm full of it but that's the gods' honest truth. I'm frakking grateful and for more than a few reasons."

"The honest truth?" Katya nearly mocked. "What in the hell could you possibly be grateful for?"

Laura glanced to the side considering all of her answers but she needed something that would encompass all of them.

"If I hadn't found out about you when I did, Katya…I honestly can't say I that I would still be here." Laura admitted. "How's that for honest?" She wasn't explicit but Katya understood what she meant. They stood in uneasy silence for a few moments before Laura went on. "Lords know that I didn't want to stay. The pull to go back was so strong. I was miserable. I was deeply depressed and longing to return to where I came from. I didn't think I could fight it much longer but then…there was you," She shrugged. "And I don't know…Knowing that you existed…it made me want to stay somehow. I didn't care that you hated my guts. I didn't care that I couldn't really stand you either. I just wanted to stay so that I could be here with you, in the same space as you. You made me want to stay. You made me want to live…I don't know why, you just did. The thought of somehow ending my life never entered my thoughts again...except when I realized just how close I had come to giving in. Knowing that I could have really done it and died again never knowing about you…it still makes me sick."

Katya's mouth was slack as she listened to the intimate admission. She didn't know how she was supposed to react to it but she just felt worse. If finding out about her presence had somehow stopped Laura from killing herself then Katya felt even more pity for her. It meant that she was willing to live an awful existence to be near someone who treated her like trash most of the time.

"I know what was done to me, to this body," Laura continued, keeping her voice as steady as she possibly could. "I've been living with it for months now. I don't think I'll ever fully get passed what went on. It was wrong but as much as I know that it was wrong I still can't wish that it hadn't happened. Without it there's no other way you could be here."

Katya's eyes went wide and then darkened to an almost midnight blue.

"Ya' know that's pretty sick, Laura."

"I know that," She conceded. "Look, maybe I never consciously asked for you. In fact…I think that I spent a good portion of my last life trying like hell to avoid you, even just the thought of you…but that doesn't mean that I'm not grateful for you now, even though the way you came to be is so hard to accept."

"Grateful, grateful, grateful," Katya repeated. "You keep saying that word. It doesn't make any damn sense."

Laura ran one of her hands through her windblown hair.

"Gods, Katya, haven't you ever told yourself over and over again that you didn't want something? Almost to the point that you were convinced it was true, only to be glad when it finally came your way?"

Katya dug her toes deeper into the cold sand as if it would help her hide from the familiarity of Laura's statement.

"You can't pick and choose!" She protested rather loudly, though she didn't know why the hell she was yelling at the other woman. "You can't just ignore how wrong it was. You can't convince me that the four of us weren't a fucking travesty!"

"I'm not picking and choosing! I'm not ignoring anything," Laura argued, "Sometimes wonderful things can come from the worst tragedies," She dropped her shoulders with a sigh. "It doesn't make the past hurt any less, but it makes the future worth experiencing."

Katya looked down and toed at the sand.

"I think you have a weird definition of wonderful, Laura," She muttered unable to face her anymore.

Laura cocked her head to the side and studied the girl for a moment.

"You understand that none of that was your fault...Don't you, Katya?"

Katya rolled her eyes and let out a short acerbic laugh.

"Look, I don't need that old lecture again. Saul and Ellen and Xao and almost everyone who's ever cared for me has given me the same tired speech," She ranted. "It's nothing new. I've heard it."

"You've never heard it from me before," Laura shrugged.

"And that should make a difference?"

"Yes."

"Why?"

"I don't know. Maybe because even though neither of us knew it at the time…you and I went through all of it together. Didn't we?"

Katya felt her cheeks go red and she had to look away from Laura's eyes. It was the closest she'd ever heard her come to saying that she was actually her daughter.

"You haven't had to spend the last twenty years dealing with it," She muttered.

"But I may have to spend the next," Laura meekly contended.

Katya didn't respond. She just started walking without looking back. Laura followed and soon they were both in step with each other again. As they walked Katya reached behind herself and pressed a knuckle into the dull ache in her back. In turn Laura rubbed at her sore neck. They were quiet with only the sounds of the gulls and the wave breaks between them until Katya finally answered.

"I can't imagine you sticking around that long…assuming the population isn't exterminated, that is."

Laura squinted, almost forgetting what Katya was responding to.

"Why not?"

"Why would you want to?"

Laura bit her lip hard before she answered.

"Katya…I wish I'd been brought here sooner."

Katya didn't try to argue this time. If Laura was being brutally honest with her now, then she figured that she might as well be too.

"You know, I used to wish that. I used to cry myself to sleep wishing that. I didn't know you worth a damn but I still wished that you were here."

Laura felt like her heart was in a vice. She'd been told as much by Saul and Bill but hearing it from Katya herself was devastating.

"And now?"

"And now I don't know. It's not because of who you are. It's not that. It's more like…like what you just said about not being able to wish things were different because then there wouldn't be the same result. If you had come here years ago then Saul and Ellen might not be my parents," Katya explained. "Looking back on the last fifteen years I wouldn't trade my parents for anything or anyone. Thinking of not having Ellen as my mother just feels awful. "

Laura closed her eyes against what she told herself was the sting of the salt in the air.

"I can understand that, Katya," She almost forced herself to offer. "I know that Ellen feels the same way."

"Thinking of not having her makes me feel as awful as I used to feel about not having you."

Laura nodded. She could literally feel Katya's love for the other woman. She thought at first that maybe it was in her head but whatever it was it was so completely undeniable. It was beautiful and she felt so selfish over how terribly envious it made her. A mere shell of herself had held the girl's heart for a time but she couldn't hug her or kiss her or even love her back and so Ellen did.

They walked for a while in solemn consideration. Laura had to wonder why Katya was still with her. They'd been walking, or at least projecting for quite a while, not all of it pleasant and she hadn't fled. She'd done what she said she would do and she was sticking with it.

"What else did you used to wonder about me?" Laura asked after a while.

Her tone was lighter as she attempt to lift the mood. She was glad when she glanced over and saw the whisper of a smile on Katya's lips.

"What you'd smell like," She answered after a beat.

"Smell?" Laura teased.

"Well…yeah," Katya shrugged. "Soon after Ellen moved off of the basestar she started wearing this perfume they make on Beta. She still wears it. It's made from some sort of flower. I can't ever remember which but on her it's mixed with station laundry, her shampoo and sometimes later in the day, her drink of choice," She mused though it was true. " It's always been a comfort to me. When I was little, once in awhile Aunt Ellen would have to spend a night or two away on the basestar or working on other stations. I've always sort of had trouble being separated from her. Even now with her on Delta it makes me anxious to have her so far. When I was little it was way worse. I'd cry once bedtime came because she wasn't there to tuck me in. So Uncle Saul would spray her perfume on my pillow so I could smell it at night and feel like she was with me. It helped me sleep. She bought me some a while ago but it doesn't smell the same on me. On her it's just better. It's the smell of my mom's hugs. And I guess ever since I knew what her hugs smelled like I started to wonder how yours would smell too. Now that I'm saying it out loud it sounds sort of creepy and…" Katya stopped when she glanced over and saw Laura wiping some tears from her cheeks, "Oh…Laura, are you fucking crying?"

"No," She answered with a quick sniff and cleared her throat.

Her denial was pitiful.

"Yes you are," Katya accused. "I didn't tell you that to make you cry. I'm sorry. "

Katya didn't even know what part had upset her. Was it the part about her or was it what she said about Ellen?

"No, Katya please. I don't want you to be sorry," Laura insisted.

"Maybe you and I shouldn't talk about stuff like this."

"Please, please don't say that."

Laura was begging, something she didn't think she'd ever done out loud. Maybe she'd begged the gods for help, for mercy, for comfort and salvation in her old life but she didn't think she'd ever really begged another person. Not even in New Caprican detention when they'd tried to make her.

"Why?"

"Because this stuff is all I want to talk about."

Laura cringed when her voice cracked and her tears started to flood over her lashes again.

Katya hated that she'd made her cry. No matter the reason she just didn't like inspiring that reaction in people. Seeing Ellen cry had always cut at her so deeply and now seeing Laura, it was almost as bad. She wanted to know things and maybe even share a bit with her but she wished that it wasn't all so painful.

"Don't cry, Laura. Please?" She said putting a hesitant hand on the other woman's shoulder. "The Admiral isn't back yet. Let's just keep walking. Okay?"

Laura nodded in agreement. They walked on and before long she felt a rush of relief when Katya spoke again.

"So what do you suppose your mother would think of me?"

Laura felt a rush of relief flood over her. Katya wasn't going to deny her this. She was answering her plea. The question was her offer to keep going and Laura took it.

"Well, I think she'd be happy to know you…but…"

"She wouldn't take any of my crap, huh?" Katya giggled.

Laura smiled and shook her head.

"No. No she wouldn't."

"I can respect that."

"She wouldn't have given up on you, though. I know that much."

"She sounds like an impressive woman."

"She was."

After walking a bit further Katya began to feel the dull ache in her lower back start to grow, spread through the center of her body and intensify. She abruptly stopped in her tracks as the wave of pain flooded through her. As it peaked she thought that she might double over. Then suddenly it eased and was gone. It came and went like the waves. As quickly as it had come on it faded just as fast into almost nothing.

Laura turned and saw the brief but alarming look of discomfort on Katya's face.

"Are you alright? What's wrong?"

Katya took a few deep breaths and when she was sure that the pain had completely passed she nodded. She was becoming less convinced that it was the strained muscles from her dizzy retching in the Control Room. Whatever it was had come and gone and she wasn't ready to break their projection just yet. She'd just seen a medic who had told her that everything was fine. She was already in the ward. If it happened again at least she was already in the right place.

"I'm fine."

"Maybe you should sit down."

"I am sitting down," She reminded Laura again.

Laura shook her head and blushed a bit.

"I keep forgetting."

"I'm fine…" Katya gave Laura a stern look that warned her not to ask again but the tension faded quickly. "Want to keep going?"

Laura was hesitant but she nodded and they walked for awhile more. She marveled at how she could still feel the slight sting of the cut on her head but her feet weren't the least bit tired from their walk. She could smell the sea air, feel the fine sand and the cool breeze but none of the effects.

"I think one of my nightmares came true, Laura."

Katya interrupted Laura's thoughts with the sudden admission. She paused, afraid of sounding too eager and too pushy.

"What do you mean?"

Katya swallowed and squinted off into the distance.

"What happened to us today," She started, "I think that's part of what I've been dreaming of. I've been having this dream where I feel nothing but that awful sensation of spinning into oblivion and not being able to stop it. It's exactly what I felt today. It's what Alexi says he feels. It's what we're all feeling."

Laura looked over at her and studied the expression on her face.

"I thought that you didn't want to talk about those dreams here."

"I don't," Katya answered, keeping her eyes forward. "I'm done. I just wanted to tell you that."

Laura frowned. She was hopeful when Katya brought it up but now she was shutting down again.

"You said we could talk later."

"Yes. I but I said, not here."

Laura shook her head. Katya had been the one to bring it up and now she was getting annoyed at the questions that followed. She couldn't keep up with the girl's erratic temperament. It was infuriating.

"Then when?" Laura challenged a little more forcefully.

"Just, later," Katya snapped. She stopped and turned toward Laura. "Damn it. Why does everything have to be so damn specific with you?"

"Why does everything have to be so frakking confrontational with you?" Laura quickly went back at her.

She hadn't meant to. She didn't want to run Katya off or make her change her mind but her frustrations had won in the moment. As sick as she knew that it was, Laura was willing to be the girl's punching bag for the most part if that's what it took to spend time with her. Still, her own temper wouldn't be quelled forever and it had just reared its head. Laura let out a frustrated sigh not knowing what to do or say next. She was only somewhat relieved when Katya spoke first.

"I told you. I promised you," Katya shrugged displaying her unwillingness to offer much more. "If later isn't good enough for you then…"

Her words were lost when something over Laura's shoulder caught her eye. For a moment she thought that she'd seen a bit of color, some bright yellow within the sea green surf. When she saw it again her jaw went slack as she realized what it was. It tumbled in the wave's break and then ran in with the tide and out again just to repeat the journey once more. She felt her mouth go dry and a chill run up her spine.

When Laura saw the near stunned look on the now silent young woman's face she turned toward the direction in which she was so intently staring. In a moment she saw it too. The familiar little yellow toy bobbed in the water like a tiny beacon.

"Laura… are you doing that?" Katya asked in a low shaky voice.

Laura shook her head as her hair blew with the breeze.

"No…At least…I don't think so. No."

Laura's eyes immediately stung with tears. She didn't know if they'd welled for real or in the projection or both but she had to fight off the urge that she felt to close them as she watched the toy shovel floating closer and closer to their feet. Soon she couldn't hold her lids opened anymore and they shut tight squeezing hot tears out of the corners of her eyes and down her cheeks. When she was able to open them again she was back in the ward. She was in bed, rough sheets all around her and Katya's hand still held tightly to hers.

"I'm sorry," Katya said without giving Laura her focus. "I couldn't do it anymore," She whispered before releasing Laura's hand and rubbing at her troubled eyes.

Laura made a fist when she felt the ward's cool air hit the spot on her palm where they'd been joined. She cleared her throat and thumbed away a few tears before she could find her voice again.

"That's alright. I was ready to stop," She said softly.

Katya shook her head like she was trying to erase what she'd just seen but it wouldn't leave her mind. She leaned back in her chair with a dejected sigh, closed her burning eyes and rubbed at the tension in her back with a firm thumb.

Once Laura was able to compose herself she looked over and saw that her daughter looked as shaken as she felt herself.

"Katya?" She said getting the girl to open her eyes. "Are you alright?"

She leaned up in the chair and looked down at her feet as she nodded.

"I'm fine," She answered in a voice that didn't sound or feel like it had come from her. "Laura are you sure that you didn't…"

Katya stopped and turned when she heard the curtains rustle and Bill Adama entered. He looked surprised to find them together and his eyes went back and forth a few times before he spoke.

"I'm sorry, ladies. Did I interrupt?" He asked noticing the solemn look on both of their faces. "I didn't know you had company, Laura."

Katya glanced between the two of them and then quickly forced herself to stand. Suddenly the space they were in just felt far too small.

"No, Sir," She answered pushing back her chair. "I was just staying until you returned."

Bill tried to smile in spite of the air in the room.

"Well don't leave on my account. Why don't you stay?" He kindly invited, "There's no rule saying one visitor at a time."

Katya tersely shook her head.

"I can't. I need to go."

"Captain, I don't think it would be out of the question for you to take the rest of the day off considering what you went through this morning," Bill posed. The look on her face as she'd gone pale and sunk to the floor had been replaying in his mind for hours. "Are you sure that you have to go?"

"Yes," She nodded curtly. "I'm fine now. I should get back to the control room; make up the time I missed today. Besides," She said as she started to make her way toward the opening of the curtain, "I need to talk to Kaplan right away."

Bill nodded in acceptance and stepped out of the way to let Katya pass.

"I hope you feel better, Laura," She said over her shoulder before opening the partition.

Laura tried to muster a smile but it didn't work.

"Thank you for coming," She started. "Thank you for…"

"I'll check in later," Katya nodded, cutting her off.

"Goodbye, Captain," Bill said to her back.

"Sir," She answered before slipping out of view.

When she was gone Bill walked over and took her abandoned seat.

"How are you feeling?" He asked Laura as he scooted the chair closer to the bed.

"I'm fine. Better," She nearly whispered, still looking at the break in the curtain.

Bill frowned.

"I'm sorry, Laura. Did I walk in on something I shouldn't have?"

"No," She shook her head and looked to her lap. "It's not that."

She didn't know what had just happened. She was totally at a loss.

"Guess she's not ready for the two of us at once quite yet, huh?" He guessed.

Laura wasn't ready to explain. She didn't want to admit to Bill that she'd been willingly projecting and she couldn't begin to tell him what she'd experienced.

"I think that's part of it," She offered, finally looking at him.

"I feel like I ran her off."

"No. No, Bill. I think she was about to hightail it out of here anyway."

He narrowed his eyes. He could feel that she was holding back. She did it often enough in both lives for him to know the difference.

"She okay?"

"I don't know."

Whatever had gone on between them, he wouldn't push for now, especially with Laura's injuries.

"She will be," Bill insisted but his encouragement didn't have the desired effect.

Laura's eyes welled and she struggled to swallow. She gripped the bed sheet in her fists until she finally forced the lump in her throat down.

"What's wrong, Laura?" He asked, now alarmed.

As Laura rolled her eyes more tears rolled out with them. She ran her hands through her hair half expecting windblown sand to fall out of it as she tried to make herself speak.

"Bill, I just can't put it into words. I can't. I know that used to be my strong suit but when it comes to that girl," Laura sighed, "I can't put two single coherent thoughts together without getting overwhelmed with…well…See my point?"

Bill took her hand in his and gave her a sympathetic nod.

"Little by little I'm learning who she is," Laura went on. "Some of it I like, some of it I just don't." She couldn't help that she still had mixed feelings over Katya's personality. The girl was so far from what she wished she was and that made her feel so guilty. She had an infuriatingly short temper and almost no patience. She was snotty, at times rude and so obviously emotionally spoiled by the Tighs that Laura wondered if they'd ever truly disciplined her at all. And even with all that in mind she was starting to find that Katya was also compassionate, loyal, well meaning and loving to those who she deemed family. "Some of what I'm learning…it breaks my heart and some of it's actually inspiring," Laura posed. No matter her faults the girl had been tough as nails through the short life she'd lead so far. It was obvious that Katya felt undoubtedly wronged by much of what she'd been through but some of it she was able to defend and put meaning to in order to cope. Though Laura found her immensely immature for her age, in that at least, Katya was beyond her years. "Even now, I still know so little about her and yet just the thought of her is enough to get me up every morning," Laura painfully admitted, taking her eyes away from Bill's intense gaze. "And I just have this feeling that it's never going to change. I feel like I could know everything about her and still I'd wonder more. I feel like I could see her every day still crave her presence at night. I'm pining over the company of someone I have to struggle so hard just to get along with. It's ridiculous really. I keep telling myself that I've formed some kind of obsession but then sometimes I think that I just…" She trailed off and looked forward toward the space in the curtain where Katya had just exited.

"What?" Bill asked, prompting her to finish her thought.

Laura licked at her lips. They were already getting chapped from the dry ward air.

"The day that we all went to Beta for Karl and Sharon's resurrection…the day I first went to Katya's cabin and we spoke…the day she gave me that little doll…" She continued trying to find her words.

"That reminds me," Bill interrupted reaching into his pocket. He pulled out Laura's matryoshka baby and held it out for her to take. "I went back to the cabin. Thought you might miss it."

Laura smiled as she looked down at the funny little cherubic painted face. She took it from him and started to roll it between her thumb and index finger out of habit. She knew that she shouldn't handle it like that. It was hand painted by Alexi's father, a special gift, but she found herself unconsciously fiddling with it so often.

"That day she gave me this doll and she gave me a real genuine smile for the very first time, I remember thinking right then that I didn't just want to know her," Laura went on. Her throat started to close but she fought against it and made her voice squeak past her lips, "I decided that I wanted to find a way to love her," Laura admitted. "But in that moment as strange as it sounds…I think that maybe I already...I know that she's still basically a stranger and I know that this sounds totally irrational, Bill," She rambled through her tears, "But I don't know how else to explain my feelings for her. I feel them in my breath and bones and in my soul and it feels awful and wonderful at the same time."

When she was done her voice hardly had any sound left to it. Bill squeezed her hand firmly letting her know that it was alright to stop, that he understood what she was telling him.

"Laura I know that it doesn't sound right but you don't need a reason to love your child. I don't know why. The fact that they're yours is just somehow reason enough. It just happens. If you're wracking your brain trying to figure out what it was about her that finally sent you over the edge then you can probably stop. Knowing she's our daughter is all the explanation you need. It means that you don't have to like her; it means you don't even have to really know her to feel that pull. It's just natural. All you needed to know was that she was yours, ours. It's alright to love her, Laura. It's alright to not have any other reason for it other than the fact that she's our baby. It's natural. It just happens. It just is. I've felt that inexplicable urge twice over before this. It's normal and you're right, it frakking hurts like hell. In the beginning it feels like your heart might burst. You wonder how you could possibly love a stranger so much and why but you just do and the answers as to how and why come later."

"You love her?" Laura managed to say.

She looked back at him with a kind of wonder in her eyes.

"Yes," He nodded. "It's alright if you do too."

Laura closed her eyes and Bill pulled her hand to his lips.

"I don't need her to love me back," Laura nearly squeaked, "But do you think that she ever could?"

LOCATION: ALPHA SPACE STATION; approximately 200 miles above the surface of planet Earth

CORRIDOR C

COMMAND CONTROL CENTER/ C³

TACTICAL STATION

YEAR: 2315

When Katya walked back into the control room it was in a far calmer state than she had left it. She spotted her uncle talking to Kaplan at the tactical station and glanced over everyone busily working at their command stations or milling around attending to other matters. She was surprised when she found Blazer standing nearby the entrance speaking to another officer. At first she froze, watching him as she unconsciously thumbed at the ache in her back. She couldn't avoid him. It just wasn't possible. However strange the situation was she knew that she had to do just what she always did; act like nothing happened, sweep it under the rug. It was dysfunction at its finest but when she considered it, every relationship that she had was dysfunctional in some way. She didn't know anything else. Katya made her way to the Lieutenant. The officer that Blaze was speaking with excused herself to return to her post.

"What the hell are you doing in here, Blaze?" She asked when the other woman walked off.

"The Colonel called me in," He shrugged.

Katya had been right when she guessed that Kaplan would want to implement her new tactics right away. With Saul as the Aviation Resource Superintendent the Commander had put it in his hands. He'd called Blaze in to go over scheduling logistics.

"Why? You shouldn't be working. I told you to take the day."

Blaze looked a little miffed.

"You're here," He challenged. "If you and the Colonel can work so can I. Alexi went right back too. Besides, it hit you too this time. You see now how quickly it comes and goes," He argued. "So did Tawny check you out?" He asked quickly, purposefully changing the subject.

"No. She was slammed. She had a medic do it."

Katya thumbed at her back again as she answered. She was hardly aware that she was doing it until Blaze gave her a suspicious glare.

"You're sure everything is alright?"

"My back hurts. I think I pulled something. I'm going back later. Xao's orders but for now I'm fine. The medic cleared me."

"You're positive?"

"Yes. I'm fine. It was Roslin who got hurt."

"Is she okay?"

"Yes. Cut on the head, like you heard. Slight concussion. I guess she threw her back out too. She'll be fine."

"Glad to hear."

"Are you two having a frakking private party!?" The Colonel's voice interrupted their conversation from across the room.

"No, Sir," Katya answered, happy to see her uncle looking well. His rough greeting aside, she could tell that he was glad to see her too. "In fact I have something I'd like to propose to you and the Commander in light of today's development, if you'll allow it?"

"What's this about?" Saul asked gruffly.

"About the bot signal and who it affects," Katya answered matter-of-factly as she made her way over to where the two men stood.

Blaze followed close by.

"We know who it affects, Captain," Saul said with a narrowed eye.

"For now," She said almost snidely in return. She ignored the look he gave her and addressed Kaplan instead. "Who's flying patrol by the atmosphere line, Sir?"

"No one," The Commander answered. "I called them back after the breach. We only have guardian raiders out there at the moment but even they aren't on the line. They can't be. That signal is constant down there. Even with their new firewall it's too strong. You know that," Kaplan scowled, annoyed at the fact that he had to tell her what she already knew.

Margot and Ellen's fix had done its job to a point. The raiders and centurions were no longer affected by the transmitted signal in outer Orbit but it seemed that the atmosphere line was its source and when raiders attempted to close in on it they felt the full effects despite all of Margot's efforts. They'd lost at least a dozen cylon ships figuring that out. Raiders, or centurion piloted heavy raiders would become disoriented and spiral out of control, eventually crashing into one another or spinning past the atmosphere line into the gravity field where they would post hole to the surface. For now they were keeping their raiders at a safe distance. No one had come close to the range of the line in weeks, cylon or otherwise. Orbit patrol craft was never sent that close without guardian raiders and raiders just couldn't go now.

"Who's closest in AQ?" Katya asked.

"We have a team out there," Blaze answered for his superiors. "A handful from Luna Force, some Angel."

Katya's eyes went to her Commander.

"When's the last time that any raider or special-ops team attempted to enter the atmosphere below any quadrant?"

"Two weeks," He answered.!"Since the raiders can't get down there anymore it's been avoided. We've been working on getting a team together to go forward but it's been a long time since we've sent anyone down without cylon protection. They're being prepped and retrained to go without guardians."

"We've been playing defense, Captain," Saul added, "You know that. We don't need to go into the atmosphere right now."

Katya scowled.

"So we have no idea if we even can?" She prompted with a raised brow.

"We know that the raiders can't," Kaplan shrugged. "Our ships and pilots could. We just don't know for sure how far they'd get without raider protection."

"What makes you so sure about that?" Katya posed.

"About what?" Kaplan bit, getting frustrated with the Captain's inquiry but Katya was unfazed.

"How are you so sure that our pilots could pass?" She clarified.

"It's only affecting cylon," He answered tersely.

"It affected me today," She challenged. "Laura Roslin felt it too."

"Katya, you and Laura are different," Saul interjected.

"I know that. I understand that but think about it. She and I aren't cylon. We're colonial and we have tansmutated DNA with cylon attributes," She explained reiterating the jargon that had been told to her throughout her whole life. "With all due respect to you, Commander, you're more directly cylon than I am. The entire population is. My cylon attributes may be stronger since they were caused by direct medical intervention performed on my mother but yours?" She posed. " Well, they're natural and weak as the cylon genetics might be, they are still there. What makes you think the rest of our people won't start to feel this thing if it continues to gain strength? It was me and Roslin today but what happens next time?"

"That's a very grim possibility you're proposing, Captain," Kaplan grimaced.

"Ellen never said that could happen," Saul defended.

Katya shook her head at her uncle and the obvious denial in his voice.

"Yeah, well I'm not so sure that she hasn't considered it." She could tell that Saul didn't appreciate the tone of implication in her voice but right now she had more pressing concerns. "Look, Commander, maybe right now the transmitted signal is only strong enough to affect cylons like Colonel Tigh and hybrids like Blazer and whatever the heck I'm supposed to be but we know how strong it is at the atmosphere line. You just said it, Sir; even with Specialist Le Blanc's firewall in place, the raiders can't cross it. If the general population is all made up of cylon amalgamates then maybe none of us can. Maybe we can't get to the surface at all."

"We don't know that," Saul said, now more agitated than before.

"Don't you think that we should know?" Katya sharply countered.

"What are you suggesting?" Kaplan asked.

Katya looked at Saul and then back at Kaplan before answering.

"Get a pilot out there; not a raider, not me, not Blazer. Get an earth human pilot by the line and see if they feel it at the source where it's strongest. At the least it will tell us if we're even able to get to the surface anymore. At the most it will tell us what's coming if that transmission gets any stronger. If it does…"

"We're screwed," Blaze finished for her. "She's right. We should know. Our ships won't be affected. It will be up to the pilot to see if they feel anything physically."

Kaplan's face turned to stone.

"I've never ordered a ship through the atmosphere without a guardian lead or tail. Not once."

"Times are changing, Sir," Blaze shrugged.

"They wouldn't have to fly through," Katya posed. "In fact I don't think that they should. The best approach would probably be for a tight V of three falcons to ease their way in. Lead would just report their condition as they got closer and closer. If they can make it to the outer limits of the line without feeling ill then I would think that would be enough to tell us that the general population is so far unaffected."

"And what if the lead pilot does feel it?" Kaplan speculated.

"We call them back," Blaze advised. "At the very first sign of distress."

Kaplan's expression was stern in consideration but Saul's was running the gamut between shocked, horrified and disgruntled.

"Sounds like a plan," Kaplan finally nodded. "Captain, it's your operation. Take charge."

Katya's eyes went wide.

"Me? Now?"

"Do I have to repeat myself?" The Commander said firmly.

"No, Sir."

"Very good."

As Kaplan walked away Saul followed him.

Blaze and Katya could already hear the Colonel questioning the Commander's decision.

"Who the hell are you going to send in?" Blaze asked.

"Well," Katya considered, trying to get her head straight. "Who's out there?"

Blaze made his way over to a flight plan console and Katya followed. He quickly brought up the current schedule and pilot manifest.

"I want someone fast," She told him as he scanned the names projected over the screen.

"Slip-Shot's pretty close by. He could get two tails and be there in no time."

"Get him on the line."

"Captain are you ready?" Kaplan called across the room.

Saul huffed and grimaced beside him.

"Assembling a special-ops team now, Sir."

Soon Slip-Shot was on the line and Katya explained to him in detail what she wanted him to do. She assigned two other birds to the operation; one from their squad and another from Angel Force. She kept her voice sturdy in her direction and in turn Slip-Shot seemed confident and even excited to go in. When radar was confirmed clear she gave him and his tails the okay to slowly inch forward and hover four minutes outside of the very edge of the outermost limits.

"Standing by for direction," Slip-Shot's voice echoed through the com once he was in place.

Katya licked her lips. Her mouth was dry. She'd lead a few operations outside of the cockpit before but nothing like this. The room was filled with anticipation. Maybe they really couldn't get down there. Maybe she was right. Maybe they really were trapped in Orbit forever until they were all picked off by bots a little at a time.

"Sir?" She asked looking over at Kaplan and hoping he would give her the go ahead.

The man shook his head.

"This is your show, Captain. Make the call."

She looked over at Saul and he gave a stern look in return refusing to aide her in the decision. It irked her and in turn gave her the push she needed to go on.

"Slip, I want you to begin easing up gradually on the outer edge of the line. Have your tails follow no more than thirty seconds behind at all times."

"That's a 10-4, Cap. Going in."

Katya was grinding her teeth as they waited for the pilot to report back. The adrenaline spike was enough to dull the gnawing ache in her back.

They all watched the projection of Slip-Shot's falcon as it flew over the tactical station console toward the quarter globe.

"Report any changes to physical constitution, L.T. Any at all and as soon as you feel it," Katya instructed.

"Nothing yet, Captain," The pilot answered in return.

Katya looked at the commander again and he nodded toward her.

"Proceed another four forward," She ordered," Have your tails hang back."

She was entirely unsure of herself but she'd been the one to bring this up and if she didn't test it all the way she'd be risking the lives of three pilots for nothing.

"Copy that," Slip-Shot answered.

They watched the illuminated rendering. He flew smoothly past the outer limits of the area in space where the conditioned terrestrial climate dissipated into nothing. All seemed fine until his bird seemed to begin to fly off course.

"L.T. Redirect," Katya ordered. "You're angling away from your team."

The com was silent for a moment until he echoed in.

"I…I didn't. I didn't notice. Sorry, Koshka."

The pilot's voice sounded strange, its confidence gone. They watched the console expecting him to correct his trajection but he only went further off course in yet another direction.

"L.T, redirect," She instructed again.

This time the com clicked on and off without the pilot's voice coming in. They heard both of his tails hailing for him but he didn't answer them either.

"Alpha Actual, this is Smoker, flying west tail. Lead has stopped responding to our hails. What are your orders?"

"What the fuck is wrong with him?" Katya said glancing at the board and then to Blaze.

Slip-Shot was still flying totally off course and closer toward the atmosphere.

"Come in Slip. Report!"

"I dunno, Cap," Slip-Shot's voice finally sounded. "I don't…I don't feel so hot. Something's not right. I can't tell my right from my left."

"Damn," Katya said palming her forehead. Kaplan moved in closer, gave her a brisk nod and gestured for her to cut it short. "Lieutenant, I want you to abort mission. Hover until your tails come by to guide you back in."

"No!" Kaplan shouted, finally piping up. "Captain, no. Retract the order.

"What? Why?"

"We aren't sending two more pilots after him just so they can go haywire too."

They had their answer now and it wasn't good.

Katya shook her head at Kaplan in disbelief.

"Slip, I said halt you bird and hover!" She shouted. "Smoker and Big Dig hang back for now!"

The two tail pilots answered in the affirmative but Slip-Shot was silent and he was still barreling forward further toward the zone of the gravity line. If he couldn't control is ship in orbit he had no chance within the gravity field.

Katya turned to face the Commander who was staring at the board like he'd never seen it before. She smacked its surface in frustration finally getting him to look at her.

"What the hell do we do then? Just leave him out there?" She seethed. "Slip, damn it! Stop!" She shouted over the com again.

"I can't, Cap'," The pilot answered, "I can't tell where I'm going. It's all just…It's my eyes…or…I just can't…"

"Slip, halt your bird! That's an order. Cease flight. You are closing in on the gravity sphere. Wait for assistance!" She ran her hands down her face in frustration. "Blaze, get a shuttle out to meet them for taxi transpo once we can guide him out of there."

Blaze nodded and went to call for the hawk but Kaplan stopped him.

"No, L.T," Kaplan called, stopping Blaze in his tracks.

"Commander, we have to get someone to go after him!" Katya argued.

"Then we'll lose two pilots," He said, stoically watching the board.

His face looked remorseful but she could tell that he'd given up.

"He's not stopping!" Saul shouted.

"Shit! C'mon L.T. Stop!" Katya shouted again.

"Alpha, this is Smoker. Lead is over five minutes ahead and gaining."

"Just stay there! Await your orders!" She shouted back.

"Not so fast!" The flight surveillance officer called. "Two airbots just came into range. One coming from the east one west, inbound on the rouge falcon."

The station alarm started to buzz.

"Godsdamn!" Saul roared.

"Fuck!" Katya swore.!"Smoker and Big Dig go weapons free!" She ordered getting a 10-4 in return. What had she done? "Slip, listen to me! You have inbound enemy craft about to flank you! You have to focus. You need to turn around and get yourself out of this. I can't send anyone after you! You're going to breach the line! You'll be flying against the gravity force soon."

"I can't, Cap! I dunno which way is up!" He slurred into the com.

"Closing in," The flight surveillance officer shouted. "Two minutes."

"Slip, they are coming at you from both sides!"

"I can't see em', Cap. I can't see anything but Earth!"

"You need to pull up, Slip. Just pull up! Go hot and just pull up from the atmosphere."

"He's getting dangerously close to the gravity field!" Saul called.

"Call your other pilots home," Kaplan told Katya solemnly.

"You said this was my call!" She argued. "Slip-Shot, pull up! Pull up now!"

"Airbots closing in," Came the other officer's voice from his console. "They're hot!"

"Slip!"

In seconds both airbots were on the pilot's tail. Kaplan took control of the com system and ordered both tail pilots to abort their mission and fly home. Katya shouted in protest but he didn't listen. They stared at the tactical projection, watching Slip-Shot's bird duck and dive in no real defensive measure as he shouted over the com system that he could hear their incoming fire. They weren't even shooting right at him. They were just chasing him further down past the line. When the gravity became too strong he lost all control and they watched him spiral down toward the surface. The airbots abandoned him, satisfied that the rest of their job would be done for them.

"No!" Katya screeched. "No, no! We've got to get a recon team passed the line somehow!"

Kaplan looked down regrettably dismissing her frantic plea. She looked at her uncle but he shook his head.

"We have to!" She shouted but neither man answered.

Blaze came up to her and put a hand on her shoulder trying to calm her.

"Kat, you know that we can't. It's obvious now that you were right. None of us are getting passed that line without becoming bait. Even if we could go after him...single pilot down. It's against regulation."

"Fuck regulations! He wasn't following regulation orders!"

"You all follow orders. All the time, "Saul told her in a more sympathetic tone. The horrified look on her face was killing him. "Some of them are regulation some special-ops. We lose people everyday who were only following orders," He did his best to console her but in the control room he couldn't do what he really wanted to.

He wanted to embrace her. He knew how it felt to send people out who never came home. He wanted tell his little girl that she'd done her duty, that he was proud of her and that he was sorry for her loss but here she was a soldier and he had to treat her like one. He looked away when her tears started to run.

"They were mine," Katya rasped through her squelching throat. "They were my orders."

The station alarms buzzing ceased telling her that it was over in no uncertain terms.

"I'm sorry, Captain," Kaplan added. "We know now. It's good that we know. He was a fine pilot."

"He could have ejected!" Katya challenged. "He could still be alive. Don't talk about him like he's already dead," She told the Commander as he turned his back and walked away.

"Lieutenant Bishop," Kaplan called over his shoulder directing Blaze to see to the Captain. "Colonel Tigh, get your wife on the line. I want to talk to Ellen ASAP," He demanded.

Saul's eye went wide and his attentions were taken away from his distressed daughter.

"You don't think Ellen knew about this?" Saul scowled, "She couldn't have."

"I want her to tell me so herself. And I want a fix to the problem. While you're at it get me Specialist Le Blanc. I want to hear from the both of them. Now."

"The two of them have done nothing but help so far," Saul defended as he walked after him.

The Commander's tone sounded accusatory.

"I gave you an order, Colonel," Kaplan said again.

Saul stopped and reluctantly made his way over to the wireless.

Blaze walked Katya out of earshot. She was in such a daze that she hardly registered the steps they'd taken toward the hatchway.

"I'm sorry, Koshka. It wasn't your fault. It was a special task force done on the fly. You couldn't have known for sure. Who knew Slip would freak like that?"

Katya was shaking as he held her at the shoulders.

"We did…We both know how it feels. I sent him out there to die for a fucking test," She said through gritted teeth as her tears ran hot.

"We needed to know."

"We should have waited."

"For what?"

"I don't know."

"I know you want to blame yourself right now, Kat but you can't. The Commander gave the job over to you. He knew what it might mean to send pilots that close without a raider," Blaze went on in a lower yet heated tone. "He fucking passed it off to you so that he wouldn't have to be the one to do it."

Katya shook her head and looked to the floor.

"I rammed right into that kid two months ago," She said referencing her collision. "He had emergency surgery, had his jaw broken in two places, all because my bird spun right into his. He just got back in the cockpit last week. I beat the hell out of him and now I just finished the job."

Blaze gripped her shoulders tighter and tried to give her a little shake when he saw how wild her eyes were.

"Koshka, they were both accidents that you couldn't help."

"This is so fucked up. What the fuck are we going to do!? What the fuck are we even fighting for if no one can even get down there? This is so pointless," She fumed, her face turning beat red.

"Katya, calm down," Blazer said as he pulled her in and tightly put his arms around her.

She sobbed and shook into his chest for a few moments until suddenly he felt her freeze up. Her body went rigid against his and he looked down to see her fists gripping the fabric of his tunic so tightly that her knuckles had lost all color.

"Kat?"

She didn't answer.

Bracing her at the shoulders he pushed her away from his chest to see the anguish on her face. Something wasn't right. It wasn't the anguish of grief. It was pain.

"Katya what is it?"

Her mouth opened but she couldn't make any sound come out. The once dull and aching pain in her lower back was now tearing through her center and she could hardly stand.

"I need to get to Tawny," She said with a hiss.

Blazer's face went flush.

"Alright," He assured her as calmly as he could. "We're going. Hold on." He braced her as firmly as he could without drawing attention to her state. "Excuse me, Commander, Sir?" Blaze called out across the room.

"What is it, L.T?" Kaplan answered.

"Permission to escort the Captain to her quarters, Sir," Blaze requested.

Kaplan looked at Katya.

"Captain Isakoff, do you need some time to compose yourself?"

"Yes, Sir," She answered as steadily as she could but her voice was quaking in her ears.

She felt the waves of pain pulsing through her and it was all she could do to keep from collapsing right there.

"Granted," He affirmed. "Captain you take some time. Remember that you did your job today and nothing else."

Katya couldn't salute. She couldn't do anything but nod as her grip on Blazer's arm got tighter.

When Kaplan turned his back Blaze leaned into her ear.

"Think you can make it out of here?"

She gritted her teeth and nodded.

"Hurry before my uncle is off the line."

They need to get out while Saul was distracted. With all the will and strength that she could muster Katya walked out of the control room's hatch with Blazer's help. Due to her distress over the lost pilot her condition went unnoticed but she couldn't keep her composure once they entered the hallway. With a sharp sob she doubled over and sunk to her knees.

"Blaze! It hurts!"

"C'mon, Koshka," He said bending down and picking her up with one fluid movement. "It's gunna be okay. I'll have you there in no time. Just hang on."

LOCATION: ALPHA SPACE STATION; approximately 200 miles above the surface of planet Earth

CORRIDOR C

MED WARD

YEAR: 2315

When Alexi got to Med Ward he could hardly remember running there. He saw Blazer's message and didn't even stop to think before he took off. The only thought in his mind was getting to Katya's side. As he entered his eyes landed on Dr. Xao recording some notes at the center counter.

"Where the fuck is she, Xao?"

The old man could hardly open his mouth to answer before Tawny rushed out from behind a curtain and put herself in between her father and the barreling man's frame.

"Tawny where is she?! What's wrong!?"

"Shh! Shut up, Alexi," She warned him, putting her palm to his chest. "I still l have Roslin here. Adama is with her. If you don't want them and the whole fucking system alerted then lower your damn voice. You're scaring people."

"Where is she?" He asked again this time somewhat lower but no calmer.

"She's not here."

"Blaze just said…"

"I had in-station ambulatory transport take her to the civilian side. She'll be admitted there."

"What? Why? Did Blaze go with her?"

"No. I sent him to cover. Something happened with a pilot outside of Orbit. Katya was upset. She thought that Tigh might be looking for her. I've sent word to Kaplan he knows to cover too."

"What's going on, Tawny?"

"Alexi we can't wait any longer. This is it."

Alexi shook his head in confusion.

"You told us we still had another week."

"That was the goal. That's out the window now. I've let this go on for longer than it even should have. I'm not letting it go on for another week. Not now. Her body has had enough. She can't do it anymore," Tawny explained forcefully trying to get it through Alexi's thick skull.

"She thought she had more time. Can't you do something?"

"If I let this go on any longer it's going to end badly. No amount of bed rest is going to stop it. She understands that. It's time," She told him simply. "She was ready to go. You need to get ready too."

Alexi stood there with a look of panic on his face and Tawny gave him a bewildered look before giving him a firm push to his oversized chest.

"Alright…alright," He sighed. "I still wish we could do it here."

"This is protocol, civilian or military. I need a specialist with me. The facilities are there. You two are so concerned about keeping it quiet. I would think you'd be glad. How many more times are you going bring this up, Alexi?" She admonished.

"Fuck. I don't know, Tawny. I don't know what I'm doing. I need to get down there."

She could see the wheels and gears turning behind his eyes and none of them were going in the right direction.

"What you need to do is clear your head, Sergeant. Look at me," Tawny directed. "She's alright. She's in good hands. This is the only way to a positive outcome. By this time tomorrow you won't have to lie anymore. Now go back to your cabin, pack your wife a bag and then meet me back here in fifteen. We'll go over together. Go!" She gave him another firm push to the chest and with that he whipped around and ran out of the hatch.

LOCATION: DELTA SPACE STATION; approximately 200 miles above the surface of planet Earth

CORRIDOR A

MILITARY OBSERVATION DECK 2

YEAR: 2315

"Why don't you try sitting still for a second and enjoying the view?" Ellen suggested as she leaned back in the theater seat and pinched the bridge of her nose.

Sam couldn't stay put as they watched the view of the Delta quadrant. Traffic was minimal after the late morning attack. The only crafts in Orbit were patrol ships but the view of Earth was still a site to see.

"Is that why you brought me back here, Ellen? Just to tell me to sit still and shut up, like I'm some some kind of junkyard dog?" He taunted though he seemed to be losing some of his steam.

"I brought you back because you told me to!" She snapped.

She shook her head at him and then settled back into her seat.

"I don't remember that, Ellen. I told you. I don't remember anything about that."

"Fine. Whatever, Sam," She dismissed him, keeping her focus on the view of the globe beneath them.

She'd taken him to the observation deck to calm down after the attack. They were still in his quarters when the signal effects hit. When they recovered she'd left him for a short time, putting him in the hands of his security team. She'd tracked down D'Anna to confirm that she was alright and then went on the hunt for Margot. It wasn't until Ellen found her that she learned that their dreaded theory was coming true. Margot told her that Laura and Katya had been affected this time and they both knew exactly what it would mean for the future. They'd been sitting on the theory for a while now just hoping that it wouldn't turn out to be true. Now there wasn't much denying it. She sent Margot off telling her that they'd regroup when the chaos of the day had settled. Once Ellen spoke with Saul and then Katya she felt like she had everyone accounted for. She returned to Sam's cabin to find him in the midst of yet another argument with the marine security outside of his door. She was able to stop the altercation before it escalated to more than just angry words slung back and forth. She needed to get him out of his cabin. The close quarters weren't doing him any good. With a request to Cmdr. Thibodaux, an observation deck on the military side was cleared for their use. After some convincing Sam agreed to join her and they'd been sitting there uncomfortably ever since.

"Ya know, that was some trip today, Ellen," Sam scoffed.

The only illumination in the theater was from the Earth below but even in the blue light she could see the smug look on his face. It made her wish that she'd let Alexi punch him in it after all.

"Yeah, I know. I tried to warn you."

"Still, you didn't do it justice. That…that wasn't any fun."

"I know."

Sam nodded.

"You're upset because she felt it this time, aren't you? Your daughter or whatever she is to you."

Ellen narrowed her eyes and glared over at him.

"Of course I'm upset, Sam and yes, she's my daughter, thank you very much."

"Okay, okay," He mockingly relented with his palms up and leaned back in his seat, "It's just a little confusing for a newcomer is all. I mean she's Roslin and Adama's but she's yours and Saul's. It's a tangled little web isn't it?" He said as he knocked the purple cuff on his wrist against the plastic arm of his chair.

"Stop breaking those, Sam," Ellen snapped. "I'm sick of it! It's a frakking waste," She told him looking down at the cracked screen of his third or fourth station cuff.

"I don't wana wear one," He shrugged. "I figure if I break enough of them you'll stop having them slap new ones back on me."

"We aren't going to stop. And you can quit trying to get them off yourself because short of cutting your frakking hand off it's not gunna happen. They don't come off. It takes a special tool. Only doctors and the distribution teams have them so just stop."

He shrugged again and finally quit fiddling with the device for the moment.

"I touched a nerve, didn't I?" He asked looking over at the view as a patrol falcon flew passed the floor to ceiling window.

"What?" She said squinting in frustration.

"About the girl? Katya."

His tone was notably calmer and curios but she was still so annoyed with him.

"Just shut up, Sam," Ellen huffed. "I don't want you talking about her."

She was totally fed up with how often he'd been asking for Katya. Now she was just refusing to feed into it.

"You use to talk to me, Ellen. We used to talk about everything. Remember?" He said watching her irritated reaction.

He thought back to the times when the two of them used to stay late at their office or in their lab, hours after everyone else had gone home. They worked and talked and flirted. They had a hundred conversations about a thousand topics over so many late night takeout meals. Once he'd finally remembered it all back on Galactica he'd silently grieved her death all over in the midst of everything that was firing off in his brain. They'd shared so much in their first lifetimes; breakthroughs, failures, birthdays, vacations, trips to the beach with the rest of their team. He could still remember how much she'd loved the water back then.

"You know, Ellen, when you first told me that she was yours, I knew that it couldn't be for real but I was happy for you and Saul. Maybe I didn't seem it. I know how I've been since I got here," He finally admitted," But I was happy for you in my own way. I remember back home, on Earth, I held out hope for you two for such a long time…til' one day you finally told me to stop."

He saw Ellen's cheeks turn red and she looked down at her lap avoiding his eyes.

Ellen had privately shared their struggle to start a family with Sam for years. He'd been so encouraging and sympathetic when they spoke. He was a scientist; practical and logical but he'd always told her not to lose faith. The topic would come up now and then and she never felt awkward talking to him about it or letting him see her tears. He always listened and he always said the right things. One evening after seeing yet another fertility specialist Ellen had come back to their office instead of going home to Saul. Sam was the only one there. He took one look at her before she burst into tears and started unloading all of her grief. She told him how her blood work had come back and how her hormones were starting to drop to menopausal levels. She told him that she just couldn't go back home to Saul because she knew that she was going to have to tell him that it was finally over. Sam held her until her tears stopped. He didn't try to patronize her with silly condolences. He just let her hurt in his arms until she was ready to go home and face her husband.

"I'm sorry, Ellen," Sam started again, "About what I said before…back at the cabin. I didn't mean it. I know you've probably been a great mom and I'm glad that you got to finally experience that. I know how much you've always wanted it."

She finally looked back at him. Her eyes were filled to the brim and Sam knew that her next breath would be enough to shake her tears free. Instead they spilled over her lashes as she nodded at him in acceptance of his apology.

"Ya know, Elle...when we made Daniel I thought that you'd finally come close but then…"

"Don't, Sam," Ellen said squeezing her eyes tight. "Don't talk about Daniel."

He nodded in solemn understanding of her ancient pain.

Ellen felt relief over Sam's words of remorse. It showed her that he still remembered a time when he could trust her, when they could trust each other. It showed her that under his odd behavior was the same friend she'd loved so many thousands of years ago. Now she was confident that there was still hope in reaching him. She needed to be able to count on him. They all did.

"I want to meet her again, Ellen," Sam said carefully. When her eyes rolled he quickly reached for her hand. "Just hear me out? I don't know why I have such a pull to talk to her. I don't know. I just do but, but besides all that, forget all that for a second. I just wana meet your kid, Ellen."

Her eyes seemed to soften a bit but she pulled her hand from his anyway.

"You should worry about talking to your own kid, Sam," Ellen said standing up from her seat with a sigh.

He quickly rose to meet her.

"I can't. I can't do that, Ellen. Not right now. I need this. You want my help but I don't think that I'm going to be able to move on until I get this out of my system. Please? You have to convince her."

"Sam…"

"Please, Ellen. Help me so that I can figure out how to help you. Let me meet the girl who got to grow up with Ellen Tigh for a mother. Please?"

Ellen put her hands over her face and rubbed at her overtired eyes. She just wanted to go home to her family.

"I'll see what I can do," She mumbled reluctantly into her palms before dropping them. "That's not a promise, Sam. That's an acknowledgment of consideration."

"Gods, thank you, Ellen. Thank you."

He ran his hands roughly over his head, tousling his hair in relief.

The amount of weight that her slight yielding seemed to give him alarmed Ellen even more. She wasn't so sure that she really wanted Katya to meet Sam again but for now she was sure that she could use her as leverage to get him to behave.

"Don't thank me yet, Sam. I'm not guaranteeing a frakking thing."

"I'm just asking you to try."

"And I'm asking you to pull yourself together. No more picking fights with your guards, no more trashing your cabin. Stop interrogating everyone you meet about my daughter and for frak sake stop breaking your frakking station cuffs! The next one they put on you better be the last," She warned.

He nodded emphatically over and over.

"I'll try, Ellen. I don't know what's up with me. I just I have this feeling..."

"Well shove your feeling for now. I'll do my part but you need to do yours. I spent the better part of two millennia boxed on a basestar and the last few hundred working my ass off trying to help these people because of words I heard come out of your lips, Sam. Yours. Saul and I have been at this a long time. Too long and now we need your help."

"I don't know how."

"Start by not being such a frakking jackass to everyone. Do you know how much harder you're making my life, Sam? I used to go to you for comfort. Now all you're giving me is stress and anxiety."

"I'm sorry for that. I really am."

Ellen nodded.

"Let's go get you a new cuff. I'm not going to bed tonight if I can't get in contact with you."

Sam sighed and looked down at the cracked device on his wrist. He was going to have to do some work to get what he needed. He wanted it enough to try.

"Alright. Lead the way, Mom," He teased.

They got halfway up the aisle before one of the marines opened the hatch. The light from the hall made them both squint and at first they could only hear the soldier's voice.

"Mrs. Tigh," The Corporal called, "There is an officer here to escort you to Cmdr. Thibodaux's quarters. He has Cmdr. Kaplan on the line for you. He says it's urgent."

Ellen kept walking to meet the marine and her eyes quickly adjusted to the harsh change of light. She looked over the corporal's shoulder toward the officer who had been sent for her.

"What's this about?" She addressed the man.

From the looks of his uniform he seemed to be an administrative officer.

"I'm not sure, Ma'am," He answered. "The Commander wants to see you ASAP. Specialist Le Blanc is already there and they are both awaiting your arrival."

"Godsdamn it," Ellen huffed. Now she had to trust that Sam would get back to Med Ward without fighting with his escorts or starting problems with the medic staff. She turned to ask for his promise of cooperation and was surprised to find him with a look of near horror on his face. "Sam? Sam, sweetie? What's wrong?"

He shook his head and harshly rubbed at his temples with his thumbs.

"Something's wrong, Ellen," He said frantically.

"What? With what? Are you okay?"

"She's in trouble. Something is wrong with her."

"What? With who, Sam? What's wrong?"

"With Kara!"

"Sam, what the frak!?"

"I need to get to her! Something's wrong!"

"Sam, what in the name of the gods are you talking about!? Kara is not frakking here! What is going on?!"

"Kara…I mean…Kara," He repeated. He just couldn't get it right. "Katya!"

"Katya?" Ellen echoed, "What? Sam I spoke to her not that long ago. She's fine."

"No! No she's not. Something isn't right. Ellen, I'm serious."

"Ma'am you need to come with me," The officer called again. "I'm under direct orders."

"I'm kind of in the middle of something here!" Ellen shot back over her shoulder. "You'll have to tell the commander I can't make it!"

When she looked back at Sam his eyes were wide.

"We have to get to Kara, Ellen! Now. Right now. Something's wrong!"

"Sam, you keep saying that! Now do you mean Katya or not!?"

"No…I mean… Yes! "

"Sam, we just talked about this. You promised."

"This is different, Ellen. We need to get over to the other station!"

"You're not leaving here, Sam." Ellen announced.

"Ellen, get me off this frakking station! I need to get to her!"

"You don't even know who you're frakking after, Sam! Now calm down!"

"Ma'am?" The marine guard called, worried about the escalated nature of Sam's behavior.

"Mrs. Tigh, I'm under strict orders not to return without you," The officer added over the chaos.

Ellen's head was spinning.

"Sam, go with these guards and wait for me in the infirmary. I'll be right there. Just don't cause any trouble."

"No, Ellen. There isn't any time. This can't wait," He said making his way toward the hatch.

"Sam!"

"C'mon, Ellen," He called gesturing for her to follow but when he got to the exit a large marine was blocking his way out. "You want to move out of my way, buddy?"

"No. I don't," The marine answered, "And I'm not your buddy."

"I'm sorry, Corporal. We have an emergency so if you'll just move out of the way…"

The marine stood tall in defiance and Sam's worried face turned into one of amusement.

"Sam, don't you dare!" Ellen called recognizing the look on his face but it was too late. She saw him wind up and before she could shout out again he'd punch the guard right in the jaw, "Sam!"

The other guards swarmed and tackled him to the ground and Ellen looked on in horrific disappointment.

"Ma'am," The escort officer said again over the scuffle taking place by their feet. "These gentlemen will take it from here. You really do need to come with me."

LOCATION: ALPHA SPACE STATION; approximately 200 miles above the surface of planet Earth

CORRIDOR A

Alpha Civilian Medical Center

Women's Ward

Room: W32

YEAR: 2315

They were in a private room and they were glad of that. Tawny had told them it would be like that; a sterile closed environment. All of the rooms were private in the civilian medical center. They weren't used to such comfortable surroundings, not that they could really take them in at the moment.

"What's that doctor's name?" Alexi asked from where he sat by Katya's side.

"Huh?"

She was in bed, doubled over in pain with her face in her palms. She'd hardly registered what he'd even asked.

"The doctor, the specialist. I forgot her name."

They'd been comforted by the woman's calm and professional demeanor when Tawny first introduced her. Dr. Diaz was soft spoken, in her late fifties and plainly pretty. She was soothing as she answered their frantic and anxious questions with quiet and honest answers. With Tawny by her side they knew that they couldn't ask for much better care. They'd just been too unnerved to recall what her name was.

"I dunno, Alexi," Katya murmured into her quivering palms.

The sound of his voice was grating on her nerves and every time he spoke she considered shoving her fist in his mouth despite the loving concern that was coming out of it.

"She told us twice. I can't remember. I feel like we should know her name."

"Fuck it, Alexi! Who cares!? Zatknis!"

Alexi frowned but couldn't take any offence to her outburst.

"Let me get Tawny in here to give you something for the pain. She keeps offering and you keep refusing."

"No! No, Alexi. No more chemicals!"

He sighed at her refusal.

"You're obviously suffering."

"I'm not letting her inject any unnecessary garbage into my body. Whatever she gave me before is giving me a roaring headache on top of everything else. I'm ready to pull this IV out."

"You need that stuff, Kat. She told you that could be a side effect. The doctor said that's what's gunna make this all work. Leave it. Maybe you should reconsider. Whatever she gives you for the pain could help your head too."

"I said no."

"Alright, myshka," He relented and leaned back in his chair.

"Besides, I deserve to suffer," Katya said between halted breaths. "I'm sure it's nothing compared to what Slip felt today."

She shook her head in utter disgust.

"Katya, stop that," Alexi warned. "I know you're upset but now isn't the time."

She didn't answer. She just put her head back down in her hands and cringed through it. After a few moments the pain began to fade again.

"I told Laura that I would check on her later," Katya said after she regained some composure. "She's going to think I stood her up."

"Katya, that's what you're worried about right now?"

He couldn't believe where her head was.

"Alexi…I want to send her a message. I can hardly see straight. Will you do it for me?" She asked, holding out her wrist for him.

"Katya, she'll get over it."

"Just help me!"

Alexi took hold of her cuffed wrist with a huff.

"Fine. What do you want me to say?"

"Just tell her that I got held up, that I'm sorry and that I'll make it up to her later this week."

Alexi shook his head as he swiped to open a new message.

"Then send one to Ellen saying that I love her," Katya added.

"Oh no," He protested. "She's off station, thank goodness. Just leave well enough alone, Katya," He warned.

Katya snatched her wrist back.

"I'll do it myself! You're a big help, really. Thanks a lot, Alexi," She caustically chastised as she went to work typing her own messages.
Alexi sighed.
Tawny had told him to be patient with Katya but his nerves were getting the best of him.

"Katya, I'm sorry. I just feel like you shouldn't be focused on anything else right now. Those two women invade every part of our lives lately. For right now can't you just concentrate on us?"

Katya just shook her head at him. He didn't understand what he was asking. How could she not think of her mothers right now? She refused to answer him and when she was done sending the second message she let herself fall back onto her pillows with an exasperated sigh.

"Why is it so damn hot in here?" She groaned, kicking down the thin sheet that covered her legs.

Alexi bit his tongue. It was freezing in the ward. He wished that he had brought a sweatshirt.

"I'll turn the air down," He said dutifully getting out of his chair. All he could do was try and make her comfortable. He could tell he wasn't doing a very good job. When he finally found the conditioning panel on the wall it was locked. "Huh, the room is temperature controlled. Guess civvies can't be trusted with a thermostat."

"Why am I not surprised?" Katya huffed.

Alexi made his way to the counter where there was a small sink. He found a clean compress, turned on the cool water and ran it under the faucet. When he returned to her side she was bent over in bed again. She hadn't been able find comfort in any position since she'd arrived and he felt awful for her. He gently moved her hair from the back of her neck and put the cold compress on her flushed heated skin. She sat up, silently giving him better access.

"Is that better?" He asked as he moved the cool rag to the sides of her neck and then down the front of her ward gown to the top of her rapidly rising and falling chest.

"Thank you," Katya said softly.

She seemed to relax a bit and leaned back onto her pillows with a deep breath that she let out as a little whimper. Alexi took the compress and draped it over the pulse point on her neck. He took her hand and kissed it before taking his seat again.

"Tawny says this is the worst part. It's almost over, myshka."

She shook her head and bit her bottom lip hard enough to leave a mark.

"It's not almost over, Alexi…Everything is just about to start."

"You know what I mean, Yekaterina"

Alexi reached over and took the compress, already warm to the touch from the heat of her skin. He put it to the side, knowing it wasn't doing much good any longer. He lifted her hand and blew a cool stream of air across her wrist. At his loving gesture her eyes welled and spilled down the sides of her flushed cheeks.

"I'm so sorry, Alexi," She cried.

"Zachem, Katyy?"

"That this has to be so hard. I'm sorry that I couldn't do any better. I'm sorry that I screwed everything up from the start. I should have known. I should have realized sooner."

"Stop it, Katya. There's nothing to be sorry for. Don't apologize to me. And don't do this to yourself. Not now. It's going to be okay."

"You don't know that."

"We'll know soon."

"I feel so guilty. I don't know if I can take disappointing you like this."

"You could never disappoint me. You don't know how proud I am of you. Whatever happens that won't change."

"You say that now."

"And I'll mean it later."

Alexi couldn't tell if it was the result of another wave of pain or of how upset she'd made herself but she was breathing heavily again. He took the compress that he'd set aside and made his way to the sink once again to wet it with cool water. When he returned to her side he put it to her forehead. When she doubled over into her lap again he tried dabbing at the back of her neck. She whimpered softly to herself and he could tell that she was holding back her cries.

"I love you, myshka. You can handle this. I know it," He attempted as she turned to one side and then the other.

When she sat up again he tried to run the damp compress down her spine. As he did she suddenly stilled under his hands. Her writhing ceased and her heavy breathing halted. For an instant Alexi thought that it had worked to calm her.

"Katyy?"

Without warning her hand shot up gripping his wrist tight and pulling it down against the mattress with a force.

"Katya, what's wrong?"

"Go get Tawny…Now!"

LOCATION: DELTA SPACE STATION; approximately 200 miles above the surface of planet Earth

CORRIDOR B

MILITARY VISITOR'S QUARTERS

CABIN 201B: ASSIGNMENT; TIGH

YEAR: 2315

"So Anders is in the brig, eh?" Saul's voice came through Ellen's cabin tablet as she lay exhausted on her bed.

As Sam fought with his guards on the floor of the observation deck she'd been dragged away to a conference call with Kaplan. She and Margot had been given an earful by the man and she'd spent most of her energy trying to explain their position. After leaving the commander's office she'd spent the rest of the night trying to calm Anders down behind bars with what little strength she had left. By the time she'd dragged herself to her visitor's quarters she was ready to flop. As she washed up in the head and changed into a nighty she truly thought that she might pass out standing up. She was so grateful to finally collapse onto the civilian style bed.

"For tonight he is," She answered with a stretch of her arms over her head. She felt her bones popping into place and it hurt and felt good at the same time. "I'll see what I can do about getting him out first thing in the morning. I'm too drained to move right now. He's not listening anyway."

Saul hated how truly worn-out Ellen sounded. He'd been in on Kaplan's conference call when she and Margot were chewed out for the better part of an hour as they tried to defend themselves.

"Maybe you should leave him in there a while. Let him think about all the trouble he's causing," He suggested.

Ellen groaned into the back of her hand.

"He had just finished apologizing, Saul. That's the crazy thing. Moments before it happened he was promising me that he would try and calm down and help. Then he just snapped."

"Over Kara?"

"Katya, Kara, Katya, Kara! Who knows? He's out of his mind, Saul. It's like he can't keep the two straight in his head. I don't know if it's just a glitch or what. He keeps telling me that Kara was with him on the other side but he lost her, whatever that means. Today when he flipped he was saying that something was wrong with her or Katya…whoever he was talking about. I don't know. You're sure Kat's okay, right Saul?" She asked, turning toward where the tablet sat on the pillow beside her.

She'd put it there so it would be like he was next to her in bed. They hadn't slept in the same rack in days.

"She's shaken as you can imagine. Kaplan gave her and Alexi some leave; a few days R & R on the civvie side. I haven't spoken to her since she was dismissed from the control room but Blaze said she and Lex already headed down there. I guess it's a good idea. She went through a lot today. The signal hit and even after that she picked herself up and came back to work. She couldn't catch a break. Hours later she lost a fellow pilot, a friend and she thinks it's all her fault."

"It's my fault," Ellen moaned. "She's probably furious at me."

"Look, Ellen, I don't blame Kaplan for being angry at you and Margot. Hell I'm mad as frak that you didn't tell me about your suspicions but I understand your reasoning for keeping it a secret. You're right; if rumors had started about the general population being at risk then it would have caused mass panic and chaos throughout the system. I just wish you'd have come to me."

For now the new intel was still a classified military secret. Though Kaplan had been angry about the omission of information he knew that Ellen was right about what would happen if it got out.

"We were trying to fix it before it got to that."

"You and Margot can't just fix the world's problems on your own."

"I know that, Saul," She said rolling her eyes.

They couldn't do it on their own but they'd been doing a damn good job trying.

"How is Margot?" Saul asked, "Kaplan got after her pretty good, poor kid."

"She was upset. She didn't need that berating on top of everything else she's going though. It was her theory. She realized it first back on the basestar. I was the one who convinced her to keep it between us for the time being. I tried to talk to her after we left Thibodaux's quarters. She knows we need to start figuring this out but I didn't want to push it tonight. She got a message while we were talking and she rushed off, said she had to go. I'm sure she was probably just ready to get away from me. I feel just awful, Saul," Ellen cried. "Katya, is a mess over something I could have warned you all about, Margot's being ignored by Sam and stalked by D'Anna. I've been so busy that I haven't even been able to check in with the boys in days. Everything's going wrong. I wanted to do better for these kids, Saul."

"You've done more than fine with all of them, especially our kit. She's upset now but it isn't at you and you know how she wants you to come home. She can't stand it when you're far away," He tried to reassure her.

"I know but I can't leave Sam here with the way he's acting. I need to be with him."

Saul huffed on his end of the line.

"Come home and let me take a few days on Delta," He offered. "Maybe I can have some sense beat into him."

"No, Saul. If he won't listen to me what makes you think that he's going to listen to you?"

"I don't know, Ellen. It'll at least give you some time to regroup, a few nights in your own bed, dinner with the kids."

"But then you'll be away. No, Saul I just need to figure things out here. I'll come home in a day or so to visit, though. I hate being separated from Kat just as much as she does…though I doubt she'll want to even talk to me."

"C'mon,Ellen," He groaned.

"Unless…"

"Unless what?

"Well I need Sam by me but I can't take him to Alpha because then three of them would be on the same station together."

"What's your point?"

"Um, well, Saul, I've been thinking. Maybe I could bring Anders home to Alpha if Bill and Laura moved to Gamma station."

"What?" Saul spit.

"Just hear me out. It would solve a lot of our problems. The EOC doesn't want us to have more than two of them to a station for more than a few days at a time. We had to force them to allow it during the downloads but we can't just keep doing that. Besides, the safety precautions do make sense."

"Ellen, are you kidding me with this? They aren't moving."

"No I'm not kidding at all. I mean think about it. Anders could come back to Alpha where I could keep an eye on him and still get to be home with all of you. We can't send Bill and Laura here to Delta or to Beta Station without breaking the limit of two per station so Gamma is our best choice."

"Ellen, I am not sending Bill and Laura anywhere."

"Well, maybe they'd go willingly if they understood the situation. Gamma's our safest station. You could sell them on that. Ever since the bodies there were eliminated the bots hardly bother it."

"Bill just started serving on Alpha," Saul argued.

"I'm sure Cmdr. Romanov would be able to find a place for him on Gamma Station."

"Ellen no! They're just starting to get comfortable here. You want me to take that away from them? Make them start over? Take them away from their daughter who they only just met?"

"Oh, Katya hardly talks to them," Ellen quickly snapped in response.

She winced when she heard the words come out of her mouth as she realized how they sounded.

"And she'd talk to them even less if they lived a quadrant away, is that it?" Her husband accused.

"I didn't say that, Saul."

"You didn't have to."

"That's not what I meant," She lied. It wasn't the reason she'd proposed the move but she had to admit to herself that it was an added perk once she thought of it." Please, Saul, it was just a suggestion, just a solution to make our lives easier for a while. It could be temporary. Til' Sam adjusts. Is there really any harm in asking them?"

"I guess not but I don't like the idea," He groused.

"Don't you want me home?"

"Of course I do," He defended.

"That's all I want too. I just want to be home with you and to be able to see Katya and Alexi every night when you all get off duty. I just want my family with me. Is that so bad?"

"No. It isn't," He told her with a sigh. "Ellen you're exhausted. Why don't you get some sleep? We'll talk about this tomorrow."

"Yeah, after I spring Anders from…" Ellen was interrupted by the vibration on her cuff and she looked down to see that she had a new awaiting message.

"What is it, Ellen? What's wrong?"

She couldn't answer him right away. The message was from Katya. It was simple, just three little words but they immediately made her get choked up.

"Ellen?"

"Sorry," She sniffed back some tears. "Kit just sent me a message.

"What'd she say?"

"She said that…she loves me," Ellen smiled through her emotion.

She was so happy to hear from her. They'd only spoken once all day. It was late in the morning after the episode was over and they were all checking in on each other. She felt awful for all that the girl had been through. Though Saul assured her that Katya was getting the R&R that she needed, and though she knew that her daughter was safe by Alexi's overprotective side, there was just something about hearing from her directly that made all the difference. She would sleep so much better tonight.

"See? Does that sound like she's mad at you?"

Ellen took in a shaky breath.

"I want to come home. I miss her. I miss you."

"We'll figure it out, Ellen. I love you too, ya' know."

"I love you back."

"Have I ever told you how glad I am that I married you?"

"Not once."

"Then I'll save it for a special occasion."

"I'll be looking forward to it, soldier."

"Goodnight, Ellen."

Before Ellen let her utter exhaustion take over she quickly wrote a few words to her daughter in return. With a quick 'I love you more' sent off to Katya's cuff she was able to close her eyes and finally get some rest.

LOCATION: ALPHA SPACE STATION; approximately 200 miles above the surface of planet Earth

CORRIDOR A

Alpha Civilian Medical Center

Women's Ward

Room: W32

"I'm so proud of you myshka. You did so well," Alexi said, still a little stunned by everything he'd just witnessed.

"Why is Tawny taking so long?"

"I don't know," He sighed. "Can I get you anything?"

"No."

Katya was totally drained but she could already feel herself getting better. She almost felt guilty for it. Her body would be back to some semblance of normality soon. She wouldn't have to worry about getting sick in front of anyone; she wouldn't have to miss shifts. She wished that she could be relieved about it all but they were still waiting.

"Whatever she says when she comes back, we'll get through it," Alexi assured her.

She couldn't bring herself to even nod in response.

"Blaze is worried," Alexi told her with a look to his cuff. "He wants to come visit."

"Not yet, Alexi. I can't. I'm so tired. Tomorrow. But please...tell him thank you for me."

"I already did."

Blaze had rushed her to Med Ward earlier as if he had wings on his feet. She didn't know how he'd managed to get her there on foot so quickly but even in the pain that she was in it felt like only a blink before they'd arrived. He hadn't wanted to leave her side but Tawny insisted that he go do some damage control. When Katya agreed he'd taken off to alert Alexi and pacify the rest. When he returned to the control room he told the Colonel that he'd brought Katya to her cabin. He said that she'd gone to bed still upset but settling down. Tigh seemed to buy it and when Kaplan got Tawny's alert on his cuff he did the rest of the work to cover. The commander told Saul that due to the circumstances he'd given Katya and Alexi a forty-eight hour leave pass for some R & R on the civilian side of the ship. Though Saul wished he'd seen Katya before she left he agreed that the leave was probably a good idea.

Katya lifted her wrist to check on how long Tawny had been out of the room. When she did she found a missed message from Ellen responding to her earlier 'I love you'. She still couldn't believe that things had gotten this far without Ellen knowing. She felt awful for leaving her in the dark. She wished things could have been different. She wished that she could have felt comfortable having Ellen by her side through it all but she was trying to do what she thought was best for everyone.

"What do you think Ellen will say?" Katya asked after a while.

Alexi sighed in consideration.

"I think she's going to be extremely angry that we kept this from her but…"

"Hey," Tawny said as she walked through the door. They both sat up when she entered. The lightness in her voice immediately made them both feel some measure of comfort but they were still totally on edge. "How are you feeling, Kat?"

"Tired. Fine. So?"

"You did amazing, sweetie. It all went as well as we could have hoped and so far everything seems to be okay."

"Really?" Katya asked in near disbelief.

It wasn't the answer they'd been expecting.

"Yes. The next twenty-four hours are crucial. If we can get passed them then we can take a big sigh of relief," Tawny explained.

Katya's tears fell again at her friend's words. Alexi rose to give her a kiss on the temple and hugged her close. They never thought that they would even get this far.

"There's just a few things that I didn't really foresee," Tawny spoke again with a bit of apology to her voice and they both looked up at her. "Some of the tests we need to do, we can't conduct them now. It's not safe."

"So when?" Katya asked.

"Ideally, to eliminate as much risk as possible, a couple of weeks?"

"What?"

"Eto piz`dets," Alexi swore under his breath.

"Look, I know that this is not what you two wanted to hear. I wish that I could tell you that everything was just fine but I can't. Dr. Diaz is making this call. She'll explain it to you better than I can. She'll be back in soon. She's still getting things squared away in the lab. I can tell you that the tests that we can run at this point are being done now. We'll know the results of those in a few hours but there are some crucial ones that just can't be performed yet."

"So we really won't know for weeks?" Alexi said in disbelief.

Katya shook her head.

"I can't tell my family that. I'm not going to them with this when I don't have any more answers than I did yesterday. What the hell am I supposed to say?"

"Kat, they can help you two through this," Tawny countered.

"No. I want to know for sure. I'm not putting this on anyone else!"

"So we're going to keep lying?" Alexi scowled.

Tawny huffed and let her arms fall to her sides. She wouldn't try to convince Katya now. Everything was brand new. She was exhausted and overwhelmed. She might feel differently in the morning.

"At least you'll be back to your old self…more or less," She suggested. "Maybe they'll stop asking what's up. A lot of the suspicion might fade."

Alexi took a step back from the bed and looked at his wife.

"No. No way, Kat. This is wrong!"

He couldn't believe what she was asking him to do. Everyone they considered family had been told except the people who they called their parents. The Xaos, Kaplan, Margot, and Blaze were all in the know and yet Saul and Ellen were being left in the dark. He understood how busy they both were. He knew that Ellen was totally distracted with Sam Anders and that it would just add to her stress but even so, he couldn't take keeping it from her. They owed the Tighs everything and in return they were lying to them.

"Alexi, I'm not going to my family without answers!" Katya went back at him.

"You two both calm down!" Tawny interjected, "I mean it. That isn't what you need to focus on now. Let's get past the next twenty-four hours before you even start making any decisions. Things are stable but we aren't out of the woods yet. You're getting ahead of yourselves. Your asses are covered for now. Katya, you need to recover and relax. Dr. Diaz is going to run those tests just as soon as she feels that it's safe. For now you both should take a breath. We got through this much and it was no small feat. I'm happy for you. I hope that I can tell you that again in a couple of weeks. Let's just focus on tonight. We still have that to get through."

They both seemed to take her words into consideration and at least for the moment they settled down.

"Thanks, Tawny," Alexi told her, "For everything you've done so far. If we didn't have you…"

"Anything for family," She smiled. "My dad is going to come check on you in the morning, Kat. I just spoke to him. He sends his love and well wishes. In a day or so he'll take you to my aunt."

Xao's sister had her own practice on the civilian side of the ship. Her methods were all ancient practices from the old Eastern Republic sector. Xao often referred patients to her when his conventional methods needed some assistance. Katya had been to see Lian Xao many times before. When she was little she'd thought that her medicine tasted worse than anything she ever got in the infirmary but her office was so much less intimidating than Med Ward. There was always soft music playing, E-Rep style rugs and lanterns decorating the walls and the small woman always wore a kind and friendly smile.

"She has a tea for you. It should help move things along and ease the discomfort," Tawny explained. "She and the staff in the lab will come up with a regimen for you. I want you both to know that just because Dr. Diaz is taking over from this point, my involvement won't end. I'll be down here as much as I possibly can. You two still have training over on this side don't you?"

"Yes," Alexi answered.

"That will give you a good enough excuse for the extra visits down here."

"More lies," He muttered.

"You two can talk about that later," Tawny warned again. "For now; Katya, you need to rest and Alexi I need you to come with me."

"Me? Why?"

"There are official documents that need to be filled out."

"Now?"

"Yes, now. It's Orbit Law. We need them done ASAP. It's important so that we can keep track of everything. I need your cuff scanned and you'll need to provide all the important information."

"Can't I do it here?"

"No. It needs to be done in the lab by the attending medic and Dr. Diaz. It won't take long."

"Can Katya come?"

Tawny chewed on her lip and shook her head.

"I'd rather she didn't. She needs the rest."

"No," Katya piped in with some fear on her face. "No, Alexi. I'm...I'm not ready to go. You go."

"Katya, I don't want to leave you," He grimaced. He was angry at the prospect of her asking him to continue to lie but he wasn't angry at her. They'd been through so much together over the past few hours and didn't want to leave her side. "I don't want to go there without you. Shouldn't we go together?"

"Just go, Alexi. Please? It's important. We've talked about this. You know what to do."

"What about Margot?"Alexi asked, turning to Tawny. "She's on her way."

Margot had gotten Blazer's message after the pummeling she and Ellen had taken over the wireless from Kaplan. She'd somehow gotten away from Ellen and sent in a shuttle request immediately but actually getting assigned to one had taken some time. With the morning's attack and the near breach resulting from Katya's test the entire system was set to condition two. It was almost 2030 by the time she'd taken off from Delta.

"Margot and I can fill our part out later," Tawny confirmed. " Just need you for now, Lex"

"Go, malysh."

"Alright, myshka."

Tawny smiled and moved to guide the anxious man toward the door.

"Ready, Sergeant?"

TRANSLATIONS;

E-Fed

Tetya- Aunt

Zatknis- Shut up

Zachem- What for?

Eto piz`dets – That's fucked up

E –Rep:

Xiè xie –Thank you