Chapter Text
Blake and Yang were a couple. Jaune and Weiss were sure to start hooking up at any moment. Ruby was... hopelessly single, as always. Why was it that she was the odd one out? The only one that was seemingly incapable of ever getting into a relationship? She had been actively seeking romance ever since her dad started reading fairytales to her, she wanted someone to sweep her off her feet and carry her in their arms before giving her a true love’s kiss, but life wasn't like a fairytale. She had been planning on asking Penny out on a date once they got to Vacuo, but...
She shook that thought out of her head as quickly as it had arrived as she didn't want to make herself more depressed and distraught than she already was. She had failed to contain her emotions and everything had come pouring out at once, so she said a lot of things she didn't mean. Oh Gods, what if her teammates hated her? Or even worse, what if they thought she was homophobic? She was pansexual, but they likely didn't know that as she had never told them! Rumours would spread that she was a bigot, she couldn't allow that to happen!
It had been hours since she used her semblance to fly away from everyone, and she no longer knew where she was or how to get back to them. The Ever After was so infuriatingly difficult to navigate, there was no structure or logic to anything! She'd also lost Little at some point along the way, meaning that she was completely alone. Giant cakes towered above her on all sides as she trudged through a thick floor of icing and frosting, was this the cake acre? Or the cakre, as Jaune had called it? It was a safe bet but that didn't really help her.
How was she ever going to find the others again in this maze? And more importantly, how were they ever going to get back home? The tree was their only way out but Jaune was adamant about not going there, even though there was no reason to assume that it would kill them. She let out a heavy sigh and sank down to her knees in the layer of cream, a part of her wanted to eat it but that wasn't a risk worth taking. Tears streamed down her cheeks as she thought about what happened back at the village. Jaune didn't mean what he said... right?
No, they both had complete mental breakdowns and both took things too far, even if they were justified in feeling the way they felt. She craved romance more than ever, it would be the perfect way to take her mind off everything. Why was it so hard to get a boyfriend or girlfriend? Or even both, she'd be happy with polyamory if it meant she could finally experience true love! As she looked up from the ground and saw a small wooden hut in front of her through her misty vision from the tears, she remembered that there was someone else in the Ever After with them.
Neopolitan.
But she wasn't actually considering that, was she? Neo was a sociopath that had caused her so much pain and suffering, not to mention the fact that it was partly her fault that they were all stuck in the Ever After in the first place. Besides, it wasn't like Neo was good looking or anything, she... well, she was actually pretty cute, but that didn't excuse all the crimes she had committed! Ruby wiped the tears from her eyes and stood up straight, figuring that the hut would be a good place to rest. Then she could work on figuring out her conflicted feelings regarding Neo.
Dating someone like Neo sounded like the worst idea on the planet but it was also a rather exciting prospect. They'd have such a unique dynamic, which was something the others couldn't say. Sure, there being such a big age gap between Weiss and Jaune made their inevitable relationship pretty taboo, but that paled in comparison to two people dating that openly despised each other. Ruby slowly approached the hut with Crescent Rose attached to her belt, not that she had any intention of using it as the thought of doing so still made her feel sick.
After opening the door and stepping inside the hut, Ruby stopped dead in her tracks. Her silver eyes went wide and every muscle in her body tensed up as her gaze rested on Neopolitan sitting across from her at a large dining table. Cups and mugs of various shapes and sizes were scattered across the table, was this some kind of tea party? Neo had a smirk on her face as she snapped her fingers, causing the door to be slammed shut and for Ruby to let out a squeak of surprise and fear. Had Neo been waiting for her? How did she know she'd come here?
That cocky grin on Neo's face made Ruby's knees wobble slightly, had her enemy always been so attractive? It wasn't something she had ever thought about before but the fact that Neo was beautiful was undeniable. She didn't want that to distract her from Neo's numerous attempts on her life but she was becoming even more conflicted over what to do. Would Neo even be interested in the idea of them being a couple? Probably not, but surely there was no harm in trying? Wait, why was she even considering this? Neo was a murderer!
Ruby was about to try and leave to stop things from getting any worse when Neo randomly took out a picket sign from behind her back and showed it to her. Not knowing what to think of that, Ruby furrowed her eyebrows and tilted her head to the right slightly in confusion. Where had that sign even come from? Had she used her semblance to create it? That seemed pretty silly, it was like something ripped straight out of a comedy spinoff. Upon closer inspection, she noticed that the sign had words written on it in black ink.
Well well, you finally made it. I've been waiting a long time for you to show up.
Oh Brothers, that was one of the most cliché things she'd ever had the misfortune of reading. Then again, Neo was Torchwick's subordinate, so it made sense that they'd be into the same generic villain tropes. It was clear that Neo was going to try and kill her once again, but that just made Ruby want to date her even more. The romances were always so simple in the fairytales but this was so much more exciting and dangerous. She knew that she should leave before she made any bad decisions but she was already too far gone to do that.
She took a step towards Neo as she wondered how she would fare in a fight against her. In her current mental state, things would likely go disastrously for her. Her thoughts were interrupted when Neo winked at her, which definitely wasn't intended in a flirtatious way but that was how it came across. Her brain switched off and all logic went out the window at that moment, she knew exactly what she wanted to do. Everyone else got to hook up and start dating, didn't she deserve some happiness too? This time it was her turn to get into a relationship.
"I'm sure you've got some epic bad guy monologue planned for me, but I'm not interested in heari-, uh... reading it. Neopolitan, I want you to be my girlfriend," Ruby spoke casually and nonchalantly, as though what she had just said was no big deal at all. Neo was completely taken aback and her expression of confidence faded in an instant. The sign she was holding disappeared as she took a moment to make sure she had heard Ruby correctly. There was a look of utter bewilderment on her face, and after a few seconds, she created another sign using her semblance.
I'm sorry?
"Did I stutter? I said that I want you to be my girlfriend."
Neo was a master spy, she had been expertly trained to know when people were lying or trying to trick her. And as far as she could tell, Ruby was being 100% genuine. She struggled to form a single coherent thought as there was zero logic to any of what Ruby had just told her. At first she had assumed that this was just a prank to get her to lower her guard but all the signs pointed to that not actually being the case. She needed answers and was determined to get them, so she made her sign disappear before making a new one to communicate with Ruby.
Why do you want me to be your girlfriend?
That was a loaded question and Ruby wasn't sure how to even begin answering it. She could go on an hour long spiel about why she wanted to be in a relationship with her enemy but Neo would probably get bored and stab her before she made it halfway through. The fact that Neo hadn't tried to kill her yet was a good start though, maybe this had a chance of working after all? Taking too long to answer would lead to Neo getting frustrated, so Ruby took a deep breath and tried her best to answer before she was truly ready to do so.
"To put it simply, I'm desperate. I've wanted to be in a relationship my whole life but have never had any luck. That's why I'm asking you," Ruby explained, giving a brief answer without going into too much detail to stop the conversation from getting too convoluted. Neo simply raised one eyebrow in response, that answer had left her more confused than ever. Something must have changed Ruby somehow because she was not acting like herself at all. She leaned back in her leather chair and flipped her sign around to reveal more writing on the other side.
Why would you come to me? Just ask one of your pathetic friends out on a date.
Ruby clenched her hands into fists and gritted her teeth at Neo's rude remark. She couldn't let herself get violent though as that would ruin her plans, so she needed to stay calm throughout this entire encounter and hope that things would work out. "Firstly, they're not pathetic! Secondly, I would if I could! Weiss is crushing unbelievably hard on Jaune right now and it's only a matter of time before he reciprocates, and Blake and Yang got together yesterday because they were forced to reveal their feelings for each other after getting caught in a punderst-"
Wait a minute. They weren't a couple already?
"...No? Did you think they were already dating?"
To be honest, I've just assumed they were together ever since I first encountered you girls back in Vale. As a lesbian myself, there was zero heterosexual explanation for how they were acting.
Silenced by the sheer shock she felt, Ruby couldn't do anything but blink repeatedly as the gears whirred in her head. Had Blake and Yang really been into each other since the early Beacon days? That couldn't be right, she would've noticed it if that was the case. Or maybe Neo was a genius that had figured it out from the start despite barely interacting with them. If that was indeed the case then she was highly intelligent and that made her even hotter. Also, Neo was a lesbian!? That was a pretty big bombshell that she had just dropped on her out of nowhere!
How was she supposed to proceed after that? Her brain was fried and she could barely think straight, everything she thought she knew about Yang, Blake, and Neo had been flipped on its head. It wasn't helping that she kept getting lost in Neo's brown and pink eyes, how could she concentrate on anything when Neo was such a gorgeous woman? Those lips looked so soft, she had never kissed anyone before but she wanted Neo to be her first. She just had to try and find a way to convince Neo that they should be girlfriends, which was easier said than done.
"My point is that they're all taken. I'd choose any of them over you if I had the opportunity, but I don't. Uh... except Yang, since she's my sister," Ruby blushed as she corrected her mistake, she didn't want Neo to think that she was some kind of freak who was into her sister since that wouldn't do her any favours. Neo made her latest sign shatter into fractals before crossing her arms and frowning, if Ruby was trying to seduce her then she was doing a terrible job at it. Not that she'd ever want to be with the person she desired to kill, anyway.
So what you're saying is that you're only after me because you have no other options?
"Well, it's either you or the cat."
I'm offended that it's even a debate.
Ruby let out a light giggle at that snarky comment, it seemed that Neo did have a sense of humour and that she wasn't just permanently angry. Neo had never heard Ruby laugh before and so the sound took her by surprise. In fact, they had never actually had a conversation before this as they were always fighting. A tiny smile spread across her face but she immediately got rid of it once she realised what she was doing, Ruby had gotten Roman killed and she was going to get her revenge! There was no way she'd ever let herself fall for this bitch.
And while there was little to no evidence to support it, she still couldn't be certain that this wasn't just some elaborate con for Ruby to gain the upper hand over her. Was she off her game? What if this was a giant trick and she was falling hook line and stinker for it? Or was Ruby being desperate for romance really all there was to this? She found that hard to believe but maybe she didn't know Little Red as well as she thought she did. Wanting to be absolutely sure that Ruby was being honest, she formed another sign in her hand.
So let me get this straight. You seriously want me to be your girlfriend?
"Yes."
Even though I tried to murder you and your friends numerous times?
"Yes."
Even though I was complicit in the Fall of Beacon and helped ruin your plan of getting the relics to Vacuo?
"Yes."
Even though I tortured you by turning into your closest friends while we were falling, you want us to be a happy couple and for us to go on cute dates together?
"Yes."
You want us to go watch a romantic and sappy movie, then have a lovely candlelit dinner, then cuddle in bed underneath a warm blanket?
"Yes."
You want to passionately make out with me until we're forced to stop to catch our breaths?
"Yes."
You want me to rip all your clothes off your body, then bury my head between your thighs and-
"Ew, gross, no! I don't care about any of that, why is everyone so obsessed with sex anyway?" Ruby shuddered and took a step back out of disgust, repulsed by what Neo had just written on her sign. She had never been interested in sex, even when she hit puberty. At first she had just assumed that she was a late bloomer and that those feelings would arrive eventually, but they didn't. She didn't feel sexual attraction towards anyone and Neo wasn't the exception to that rule. It was just who she was and it was a part of herself that she had accepted.
Every answer Ruby gave made it more and more apparent that she was telling the truth, to the point where it was no longer reasonable to assume that she was lying. That was information Neo needed to sit on, so she leaned back in her large chair again and thought long and hard about what she wanted to do. She had known she was a lesbian from a young age but she had never been in a relationship, the most experience she had was kissing a few female guards to seduce them in order to gather intel. It was a prerequisite of being a spy but she couldn't deny that she enjoyed it.
Was she putting too much thought into this? Her instinct was screaming at her to get up and just stab Ruby repeatedly with her parasol, but she couldn't help but weigh the pros and cons of the proposal that her nemesis had just given her. She supposed that Ruby wasn't the ugliest person on the planet, and that she was a mildly skilled fighter. And while the idea of sex did appeal to her, it certainly wasn't a requirement of any relationship. This was a surprisingly tough decision, and she didn't want to make a choice without being certain that it was the right one.
Let's say I decide to start dating you. What do I get out of it?
"You wouldn't be so lonely anymore, for a start," Ruby responded with a shrug, an empathetic tone to her voice which shook Neo to her core. Did Ruby... care about her? No no, that couldn't be right. Was Ruby an idiot? Why would she care about a criminal that had tried to torture and murder her and her friends on numerous occasions? This wasn't just about romance, Ruby had officially lost her mind. But maybe that was something she could take advantage of. She could use this opportunity to get close to Ruby and strike when she least expected it.
It was a genius idea, why hadn't she thought of it sooner? If she played her cards right, she could also kill the rest of Team RWBY in revenge for everything they had done and all the times they had gotten in her way. She could go after Cinder once she was done with them and then she would finally be satisfied. Roman would be avenged and she could return to a life of crime without having to endure any more of this agonising grief. She flicked her hat with her fingers with a smile on her face and created another sign, having come to a decision.
Harsh... but fair. Alright, I accept. I'll be your girlfriend. Now come over here and kiss me.
A soft squeak escaped Ruby's lips as she read those words, she hadn't expected Neo to be so forward like that! Her body acted on autopilot, it felt like she was gliding across the floor until she came to a halt once she reached Neo. It was official, they were girlfriends! She wasn't single anymore! She had finally gotten into a relationship and it felt so good! Her stomach erupted into butterflies as Neo stood up and cupped Ruby's chin with her gloved hand, forcing Ruby to tilt her head downwards so they were staring into each other's eyes.
Neo was shorter than Ruby by quite a fair margin, but there was no doubt in their minds that she was the one in control. She moved her hand to rest it on her girlfriend's cheek as Ruby leaned into it while biting down on her bottom lip gently, her heart was pounding in her chest. This was it, she was about to have her first kiss. What would it be like? She had dreamed about this moment for so long, it was surreal that it was actually happening. Closing her eyes, Neo stood on her tiptoes and pressed her lips against Ruby's, taking her first kiss.
Time seemed to freeze as it took a few moments for Ruby to even process what was happening. She was kissing someone... and that someone was an evil criminal. That was already more than enough to blow her mind, but the fact that she was enjoying it made it even crazier to her. Neo's lips were so soft and sweet, and she closed her eyes before fully melting into the kiss. She wrapped her arms around her and placed her palms on her back, embracing her as they kissed. It was everything she had hoped it would be and so much more, it was magical.
Was this what she had missed out on all this time? Was this how Yang and Blake felt when they shared their first kiss together? It would be too embarrassing to say out loud that was like something out of a fairytale but that was exactly what it felt like. She let out a few moans as Neo placed her other hand on Ruby's hip and pulled her closer, deepening the kiss slightly. She'd never admit it to anyone, not even herself, but kissing Ruby felt absolutely amazing. Her lips were divine, they tasted like strawberries and she was addicted to them already.
The thought of using her tongue was extremely tempting but she decided against it as this was only their first kiss. They'd be having many more together and she could teach Ruby everything there was to know about kissing. Until she got bored and killed her of course, she couldn't forget that that was her ultimate goal here. Fireworks were going off in Ruby's mind as she thought about all the things she and Neo could do together in the future as a couple. The possibilities were endless! She also wanted to kiss Neo as much as possible because of how nice it felt.
The new couple continued kissing and embracing as though they had all the time in the world. All their worries disappeared from their minds as they got lost in each other's arms, they couldn't get enough of each other. Ruby had never felt so happy in her entire life, this was exactly what she needed to get herself back on the right track. She wasn't ready to be a Huntress again just yet, but she was on the path to healing. They had no idea how much time had passed, but eventually Ruby pulled away from the kiss due to the need to breathe.
You're not a bad kisser, Red. With enough practice, I'd say you could even be as good as me. Want to go for another round?
It was the most tempting offer Ruby had ever received in all seventeen years of her life, to the point where she almost took it in a heartbeat. But her teammates and Jaune were definitely worried sick about her, she had to get back to them as soon as possible. She also needed to apologise for her words and she was sure that they'd all apologise to her too. Besides, they'd have plenty of time in the future to give each other all the kisses imaginable, especially once they were out of the Ever After and back on Remnant. Though they still had to deal with Salem at some point.
"I-I'd love nothing more than that, be-believe me. B-but we need to get back to the others as s-soon as possible. Th-then we can actually work on finding a w-way out of here," Ruby stammered with a blush on her face, she hated to let Neo down like that but she was sure that her loving girlfriend would understand. Trying her best to stop a disappointed frown from spreading across her face, Neo slowly nodded her head in understanding. It was a shame but Ruby did have a point, they couldn't stay in this place forever and the sooner they got out the better.
Ruby gave Neo a warm smile before leaning down and giving her a quick peck on the lips to make up for the fact that they had to stop kissing for a while. Neo certainly didn't have any complaints about it, a quick kiss like that was better than nothing. Ruby kept holding onto Neo as she activated her semblance and made them both burst into rose petals. She soared high into the sky and overlooked the numerous acres of the Ever After, trying to find out how to get back to the others. She hoped that they were still in the same place they were before.
A terrifying prospect crossed her mind, what if she never found them again? Most of the acres were at least visually extremely unique, this would be a lot harder if they all looked the same. She zoomed through the Ever After, praying to the Gods that she'd find them before she got exhausted and fell out of the sky. This was the first time Neo had been swept up in Ruby's semblance, and she didn't know how she felt about it. The sensation was... bizarre. Ruby's heart skipped a beat as she spotted a familiar acre in the distance, was that it?
After Ruby landed them both on the ground and deactivated her semblance, Neo almost fell flat on her face from how dizzy she was. She never wanted to do that again! Unless it was strictly necessary to survive, in which case she'd consider it. The destroyed dam and the remnants of the paper village that had sunk underwater confirmed to Ruby that she was indeed in the right place. She had made it back! Not only that, but she could see her friends! And... Little too, for some reason. How in the world had Little made it back here all by themselves?
"Rubes! Oh, thank the Gods that you're okay!" Yang exclaimed as she rushed over to meet her little sister, with the others following close behind her. Immense relief washed over all of them, they had been so concerned about her. The first thing Ruby noticed was that Yang and Blake were holding hands, which was expected. But Jaune and Weiss were also holding hands, confirming her previous suspicions that they'd get together in no time at all. Not wanting to be the odd one out, she put on a brave face and took Neo's hand into her own, interlocking their fingers.
"Neo and I are girlfriends," Ruby explained in a confident voice as she stood up straight, she was so happy and she didn't want to hide it. Her four friends all took a step back simultaneously as their eyes went wide. Was this one of Neo's illusions? It was the only logical explanation for it. Neo would laugh if she was able to, seeing the looks on their faces was everything she hoped it would be and so much more. Her time for revenge would come, but she was going to enjoy this while it lasted and tease Ruby's friends as much as possible.
She leaned over and gave her girlfriend a loving kiss on the cheek, making Ruby's entire face turn a bright shade of pink. Heat radiated off her body as she tried her best to appear calm and collected, but on the inside she was screaming from nerves and just how much she loved Neopolitan. Her mind was so clouded by her adoration for her girlfriend that she had completely forgotten about Neo's plan to murder her. Her friends were stunned into a long silence but Little didn't understand why. Ruby seemed much happier than before, wasn't that a good thing? Yang eventually regained control of her body and was the first to comment on that bombshell Ruby had just dropped on them.
"YOU WHAT!?"