Chapter Text
As much as Butters loved the idea of leaving behind his parents and all the ridiculous things that came with his home life, it’s a hard decision to kill yourself. Well, maybe not that hard of a decision but definitely difficult to execute properly. Butters hadn’t been the biggest fan of just leaving his body for someone to see and eventually clean up. It’s gross being all strung up for the world to see, even if he was dead.
The problem with deadbeat dads and passive moms is that you get stuck and dragged into whatever they say. If Dad says you’re moving to a new town in the middle of nowhere in less than a week, then you better bet that you’re not talking back and Butters definitely didn’t talk back.
New town means new places to fantasize about killing yourself which is exactly where Leopold was right now. It was snowing here, the ground hard and iced over as his boots crunched the newly fallen snow into the compacted ice. He hadn’t hated this new place so far and the snow had definitely earned some points in favor of that.
He wakes about the town exploring the little shops downtown and the streets they inhabited. The stars in the sky littered the dark streets and as Butters journeyed farther away from the main road, he could faintly see the houses lighting up the little valley beneath him.
It brought him a bit of comfort thinking about all the little people in their comfy beds down there, and the nice warm hugs that mothers would give their sons.
Butters looked around and realized he had actually ventured quite a ways up the hill, not too far from the road though. He thought it would be pretty stupid to jump in front of a car. Once he saw a photo online of a deer that was hit by a car, it was nothing but a pile of mush and it coated the seats of the car in a thick layer of guts. He’d hate to ruin some couples' nights by spraying his guts into their car. He knew it was generally seen as selfish to commit suicide but scaring and traumatizing someone else like that was definitely not part of his big plan. It’s one thing to find someone hanging peacefully and then sprayed onto your girlfriend's face as you’re driving down the highway.
Deciding the cold weather and the cars weren’t going to be his grand escape, he got up and followed the road out into the woods away from town. Just a bit further, he had told himself.
Part of him felt a little bit… well, crazy. Yes, he knew “normal” people don’t generally contemplate their death at any given second but lots of people recover from depression and stuff right? That could never be him, not because he didn’t want to get better, he truly did but a shitty life just leaves you a shitty future. To Butters, the chance of him actually escaping his parents was next to nothing.
He kicked a little rock around as he continued down the street, humming and keeping to his thoughts.
One time in church, he remembered the priest discussing the idea that before we are born we pick our parents. If that was true then Butters was pretty pissed off with his past self and he’d definitely be having a word with him when he died.
A challenge for the bravest warriors!
People say that all the time, don't they?
Kicking the rock with a bit more force, sending it into the road, he thought to himself,
I’m not a warrior or brave, I’m a kid.
Stupid religious people don’t know anything anyways, blindly follow and serve because they’re scared too and hope makes them safe.
Looking at the rock in the center of the road, right between the slip yellow lines, Butters looked both ways before walking to pick up the pebble.
Oh, what dreadful luck he had.
Of course, I would end up dead the one way I didn’t want to.
To be completely fair, he wasn’t trying to kill himself here. The car came speeding up the street with bright lights and loud music ripping through the speakers.
Butters flipped his head in the direction the car was coming and with rock in hand made a move to backup. The car slammed on its brakes, sending the front of the car into the other lane and leaving the tail of it to graze Butters.
Despite it just hitting him a little, it still hurt like hell and he promptly fell straight to the ground, clinging to the side that had been struck. As he cracked his eyes from his position on the cold ground, he realized he still had the stupid rock in his hand. He let out an exasperated laugh/sigh combo.
As his gaze on his rock was fixed, he began to shift his focus to what was behind his hand. He saw a kid, about his age, with his mouth wide open in shock. From behind the kid, he heard two voice shout in panic-
“Oh my god!”
“They killed-“
“He’s not dead!!”
The kid who he’d been staring at had screamed back at the two. Now that he was staring at him he could make out more details on his face. He had dirty blonde hair and ragged clothes that hung off him. His sun-kissed face showed a few freckles too.
An angel is taking me to heaven.
“Haha, Kenny hit a fucking funny-looking deer!”
“Can you shut your mouth for one second Cartman! He’s hurt! And he’s obviously not a deer!”
“That’s not a boy, boy deers got horns and shit.”
“They aren’t called horns, they’re antlers.”
“Is that the biggest problem right now??!”
“It is when you’re siding with this scumbag!!”
Why did that have to be the last thing he heard?
He looked over the angel's face one more time before he fell asleep.
He dreamed he was talking to himself. The first question he asked?
“Why would you pick them as my parents?”