Chapter Text
About an hour after returning from the party, Azura finished drying her long hair; as she already knew that, regardless of what she did to it at night, it would be a mess in the morning, she skipped brushing it. In front of her large mirror, she was applying the last part of her nightly routine, consisting of a facial moisturizer and lip balm, to prevent them from drying out due to the autumn air.
Since the night temperatures were lower as the autumn progressed, the golden-eyed lady, a few days ago, started to wear comfortable navy-blue pajamas with a pattern of white stars on both pieces. Her shirt was long-sleeved, her pants were long and baggy, and her feet, though covered in gray-blue slippers, were without socks.
From their bed, Ike watched her silently, like a hawk. Following her recommendation before showering, the swordsman wore a loose set of pajamas with a red and black checkered pattern, barefoot and without his headband. He was lying on his side of the bed, covered up to chest height with their turquoise duvet, following his wife’s movements with his eyes.
Except for a word he said to let her know it was her turn to shower, the couple hadn’t spoken since the cerulean-haired man entered the bathroom. Even though most of the time, there was no need to use words to fill the void, the silence that reigned in their bedroom that night felt different; it was tense and a little distressing, like something that was about to explode. It was a kind of silence they hadn’t experienced between them.
The songstress moved away from her dressing table and turned off the light in the bedroom, leaving only the oil lamps on their bureaus lit; without adding more, she approached the bed, took off her slippers, and settled on her side. She turned to see her husband, who didn’t take his eyes off her; his gaze emitted a feeling that she could not easily define, but it was certainly not a pleasant emotion.
She wasn’t sure what was wrong with her beloved, but whatever it was, she needed to try to find it out one last time before sleep. She didn’t care what the source of his change in attitude was; she just wanted to be aware of it and do something to correct it. For a moment, she theorized that, perhaps, she could be the cause of his discomfort, but that possibility didn’t bother her. She would rather have that uncomfortable conversation and face that reality than see him in that unsettling state.
- “Thank you for today, my love.” – sheepishly, Azura ended with the silence. – “I had a lot of fun at the party. I loved dressing up, and it was nice to spend a lovely evening with my cousins and their friends.” – although she was smiling, her countenance was sad. – “Thank you for coming with me, and excuse me if I did something to upset you.”
- “… What?” – he felt surprised to hear the last part of what she said. – “Why are you saying that?”
- “Since we left the party, I noticed you were quite tense, and you have been acting defensively. I feel like something enraged you.” – she straightened up, sitting in the bed. – “You said you were tired, but if it were just that, you would be already sleeping. When you’re exhausted, you fall asleep in less than five minutes.”
- “…” – he mimicked her posture to look into her eyes, implying she was right.
- “That’s why I thought maybe I did something that upset you, and I apologize for…”
- “Darling, I’m not mad at you.” – he denied with his head. – “You have not done anything to annoy me.” – his look became gentler. – “What I’m feeling is unrelated to you. If that would have been the case, I would have told you when you asked me. That’s how we do it in those situations.” – she took her hand and stroked it.
- “… So, something is happening to you.” – she pointed out.
- “…” – he left her hand over her lap, evading her gaze. – “I don’t want to talk about it, please.”
- “Why not?” – his answer surprised her. – “Ike, you’re not like this. Since the day we met, we have talked about everything, from the most banal topics to our most complicated feelings.” – she reminded him, searching his eyes. – “There’s no topic we cannot talk about, no matter how hard it is, and you know it.”
- “… This is different.”
- “Why would it be?” – her voice showed worry. – “What could be so terrible that…?”
- “It’s something that makes me feel ashamed, OK!?” – he raised his voice and started panting. – “That’s all I will say about that.” – he aggressively put his head on his pillow, leaning to the other side. – “Good night.”
- “… Tell me.” – she answered in an imposing tone, glimpsing at his back. – “Whatever makes you feel ashamed, you can tell me.”
- “No.” – he said flatly.
- “Tell me!” – frustration flowed through her voice.
- “No!”
- “Tell me, please!” – her tranquil face was getting irritated.
- “Hell, no! I’m not going to tell you, Azura!” – he straightened up again, looking at her angrily. – “Stop insisting, please!”
- “If you don’t tell me what’s wrong, I can’t help you!”
- “I don’t need your help!”
- “You clearly need help! Look at you! Look at us! This is not normal!” – she took a deep breath, trying to calm herself down. – “I don’t know what happened, but before the party, you were fine! You were fine when we arrived! You were fine when we danced! You were fine before…!” – she connected the dots at that moment, and everything was clear. – “You’re scared.” – she declared without an iota of doubt. – “The story about the girl and The Other Mother scared you.” – her gaze became understanding. – “That is what is bothering you, right?”
- “… That would be absurd.” – he grumbled in an unusually arrogant voice, avoiding meeting her eyes. – “Don’t you think it would be ridiculous for someone my age to be scared by a children’s story? That is nonsense.”
- “… Being scared is not ridiculous nor nonsense.” – she spoke softly, holding his hand in hers. – “Feeling scared is not bad, no matter what caused it. Fear is a universal emotion and feeling it does not make you weak. It is a reminder that you are alive.”
- “…”
- “Don’t feel ashamed if something scares you, no matter what. Everybody can feel afraid at some point, even the bravest ones.” – still holding it, she gave circular caresses to his hand. – “You don’t need to be brave all the time, at least not while you’re with me. I thought you already knew it.” – she brought his hand closer to her lips. – “Even if your feelings are unpleasant, you can tell me everything you feel. You can do it whenever you want.” – she softly massaged his rough knuckles. – “I will always listen to you, I will never judge you, and whenever I can, I will do my best to help you. I’m your shelter, and you’re mine. Don’t forget it, please.” – she released her husband’s hand. – “I just…” – a sudden embrace interrupted her words. – “Ike…” – her arms wrapped around him and, gently, rubbed his back as she did with his hand before.
They were in each other’s arms for a few seconds. Despite it being one of their favorite ways to show affection, their embrace felt different from most of them; in that instant, he held his wife desperately, seeking consolation for his complicated emotions. It wasn’t the first time he showed his vulnerability to his beloved, but that didn’t mean it was something easy to do, even knowing Azura wouldn’t judge what was in his heart.
- “I’m aware it’s just a dumb story that children of Fódlan tell in the autumn, but I cannot help feeling that way.” – the blue-haired man finally spoke. – “I’m not sure if it was because of the way Byleth and Beles told it or if it was because of any of the plot elements, but there was something about that story that gave me chills.” – he frowned. – “It’s embarrassing to admit I was scared by a horror story, one that, surely, was invented by a group of children no older than ten years.” – he closed his eyes and sighed. – “I’ve faced much more terrifying situations in and out the battlefield, and I don’t remember feeling this kind of fear before, not even when…” – he opened his eyes, filled with sadness. – “Maybe I’m not as brave as I used to be. Am I becoming a coward?”
- “Never! You’re not a coward!” – she hugged him tighter. – “Don’t ever say that again, please.” – she snuggled her head on his right shoulder. – “You’re brave, truly brave. You’re the bravest person I know.”
- “How can you say that!? How can I be brave if I was scared by a children’s story!?” – his voice broke.
- “You’re brave because you admitted you were scared!” – the light blue-haired lady exclaimed. – “Accepting something is scary is an act of courage, and you did it. It’s the first step to start to face what terrifies us.”
- “… You noticed it first.”
- “That only happened because I know you well.” – she released him, and their gazes met. – “Although I noticed it, the important thing is that you accepted it. And because I know you very well, I’m sure you won’t let fear rule you any longer.” – she kissed his forehead. – “Being brave is not the absence of feeling fear but going on despite fear. That is where true courage lies, the one you possess, the one you showed me when you confessed you fell in love with me, and the one I see in your eyes every day.” – she planted a tiny kiss on his right cheek. – “I know who you are, and I believe in you. I will always believe in you.”
- “…” – he cupped her face and kissed her lips. – “Thank you for everything, my adored. Thank you for giving me courage and believing in me, even in troubled times.”
- “You don’t need to thank. I’m just telling you the truth.” – her hand caressed his cheek. – “The only thing I want for you is your well-being.”
- “I know, and I was a fool for saying I didn’t need your help.” – his voice and eyes filtered regret. – “Sorry for being an idiot a few minutes ago. You only wanted to help me, and my irrational pride prevented me from accepting it.” – there was shame in his eyes. – “I made a storm in a glass of water. That was not right. I’m terribly sorry.”
- “Don’t worry, honey. Now I can understand the reason for your attitude, and I wasn’t offended by what you said.” – she ran her fingers through her hair, flustered. – “I also acted like a dumb. I’m sorry I pressured you to tell me what was happening to you, and I’m sorry I yelled. I should have considered a less aggressive way to intervene, but…”
- “You did what you had to do, and there’s nothing to be forgiven, sweetheart.” – a tiny, shy smile crossed his lips. – “I think I needed a reminder that, when the situation calls for it, you’re a formidable warrior.”
- “A warrior? Me?” – his words surprised her. – “But, on the battlefield, I’m not that…”
- “I’m not talking about that.” – he clarified. – “I refer to those times when you fight for the things you believe in. That is one of the qualities I like most about you.” – he nodded, smiling affectionately at her. – “You are a born warrior, but you rarely show it.” – he took her right hand. – “There are times, like the one we just went through, when your character can become quite intense.” – he delicately ran his fingers over her hand’s back. – “If you add to that the fact that your husband can sometimes be a headache, it’s pretty fair that you have to show me your fierceness from time to time, only so I don’t forget it’s still there.” – he kissed what he was holding. – “I think this happens to us because we’re stubborn, right?”
- “I prefer to say we’re ‘strong-willed’, but yes, we are, and that’s why we make such a good team.” – she giggled. – “Just as you are, you are wonderful, with all your virtues and flaws.” – she stroked his cheek. – “There’s nothing I would like to change about you.”
- “I think just like you. You’re perfectly imperfect, and that’s how I love you.” – he kissed her forehead. – “I deeply love you, Azura. I love you, and every day we can spend together, is a blessing.”
- “And I love you, too, Ike.” – she kissed the tip of his nose. – “I love you more than I ever thought I could love another person.” – she placed her head over her pillow, and he mimicked her.
They locked eyes, and their silence, once again, felt like it usually felt when they were alone. They had just had their first real confrontation since they met, and they got it over through communication and vulnerability, two vital elements for any relationship. That night, they learned a valuable lesson: the only way to solve problems, regardless of their origin, nature, or hardship, was to recognize and face them. Hiding or denying them was useless and, on the contrary, could be counterproductive.
Their love, the love they chose to cultivate and care for every day, far from getting weaker, was stronger after overcoming conflict. Although, reasonably, neither of them enjoyed the confrontation, they knew that, without struggling, there was no opportunity for growth.
- “It’s too late. It’s probably already past one in the morning.” – Azura yawned. – “It was a long day, filled with complex and different emotions, and we need to rest.” – her lips drew a tired smile. – “But, before going to sleep, I want to ask you.”
- “Yes, dear?”
- “Would you like to hear a song I learned a few days ago?” – she tenderly asked him. – “Palla taught me this song. She told me it’s a traditional lullaby in Macedon.”
- “Of course!” – he replied to her, enthusiastic. – “I love hearing you sing.” – he turned off his oil lamp and gazed at his wife, smiling at her. – “I’m ready, sweetie.”
- “…” – she turned to see him, with the light still on. – “At night, when the lake is a mirror, and the moon rides the waves to the shore.” – she sang. – “A single soul sets his voice singing, content to be slightly forlorn.” – she noticed the swordsman’s eyes were starting to close. – “A song rises over the lilies, sweeps high to clear over the reeds. And over the bulrushes’ swaying, to pluck at a pair of heartstrings.” – she gently stroked his head. – “Two voices, now they are singing. Then ten, as the melody soars. Round the shimmering pond all are joining in song, as it carries their reverie on.” – she heard a tiny snore. – “Over the treetops and mountains, over the blackened ravines. Then, softly, it falls by a house near a stream. And over the garden wall… to thee.” – she kissed his temple and covered him with the duvet. – “Good night, darling. Sleep tight. I love you.” – she whispered.
Trying to do it as stealthily as possible, the songstress turned off her oil lamp, and, wrapped in darkness, she sank her head into her beloved’s chest, a place that had become one of her favorite places to sleep.
Feeling her strength was leaving her, the songstress listened to the beating of his calm heart, placed her arm around his ribcage, and almost as quickly as he did, she succumbed to sleep, feeling his comforting warmth, combined with his delicious perfume, before losing consciousness.
The End.
