Chapter Text
In this world, soulmates don't exist merely in fantasy, or only for the lucky few. Everybody has a soulmate, a person who understands them best, who can bring them the most comfort.
Most importantly, this world also has a way to find them, existing in blemishes that appeared on your skin whenever your soulmate got hurt, often appearing in their favourite colour, the vibrancy of the mark changing depending on how fresh or severe the injury was.
For the week leading up to Chuuya's 16th birthday, his friends had been persistently teasing him about the looming prospect of him waking up in the morning to a potential mark courtesy of his soulmate.
He had brushed them all off for the most part, apart from comments from his bandaged freak of his best friend.
Then he retaliated with something along the lines of 'At least I don't have to wait another month.'
He couldn't quite place why Dazai's enthusiastic teasing was bothering him so much, but he figured that it might just be the idea of Dazai meddling with his love life.
Regardless, he had brushed them all off, putting up a facade of not caring about who his soulmate was, or whether he would wake up with the evidence of their existence or not.
This was a blatant lie, as he sat on the bathroom floor while brushing his teeth the night before his birthday, filled with anxiety.
'What if I don't have a soulmate? What if I hate my soulmate, or worse, they hate me? What if my soulmate is one of my friends? I would never recover!'
His hands were shaking slightly, but he stood up, spitting out his toothpaste and continuing his nightly routine as usual, ignoring the pit of dread in his stomach. He changed quickly, and collapsed into his bed, thankful for the comfort of the bed he's had for years.
Birthdays were always hard, a stern reminded of the passage of time, but he enjoyed being able to keep hold of dregs of his past.
He grabbed his phone from his bedside table and unlocked it, the screen lighting up to display his messages with Dazai. There had been a few since he last checked.
MCKRL: excited for 16??? :ppp
MCKRL: ik u don’t like ur bday much, but u fought for me to celebrate mine last year, so we're going to the arcade after schl tmr. just us, get away from ppl yknow.
MCKRL: and i alr know ur worried abt ur soulmate, u were doing ur weird fist clench thing today when joking about it. don’t. it'll be fine, and if it's not, i'll walk u to schl tmr like usual and we'll figure it out.
Chuuya was surprised by the seriousness and kindness in Dazai's message. He smiled a little, then frowned.
'Don't smile at the stupid mackerel's messages idiot. It'll get to his head,' he thought to himself, as he looked over the messages again.
He was glad for the opportunity to go to the arcade just him and Dazai again, it had been a while since they had went alone. It was probably better than whatever gift Dazai would get him.
He clicked on the message box, responding quickly.
SLUG!: Since when were yu so nice assheole?
SLUG!: *asshole
The messages were seen instantly, surprising considering that Dazai had sent his messages about five minutes before Chuuya even looked at them.
MCKRL: consider it an early birthday gift. ;)
SLUG!: Kys
MCKRL: hmm, not tonight, i need to give u ur bday gift.
SLUG!: And what would that birthday gift be
MCKRL: a big fat and sloppy kiss, followed by the best head of ur life.
SLUG!: First ew fuck you that’s disgusting
SLUG!: Second that’s illegal youd still be under age od consent
MCKRL: WAIT DOES THAT MEAN NO MORE SEX JOKES UNTIL IM ALSO 16?????
SLUG!: Jokes don’t mean shit
SLUG!: Gwnuinwlt tho, whats my gift
MCKRL: not telling, get wrecked.
SLUG!: Omg im going ro sleep ill see you in the mornign, with my failed soulamte mark
MCKRL: *soulmate + also you'll be fine. You somehow manage to rarely get hurt, so your soulmate is probably the clumsiest person on earth. You'll probably wake up covered in colourful bruises.
Chuuya felt oddly relieved by Dazai's assurance, but his attention momentarily zeroed in on the change in Dazai's speech pattern. He never typed out the full 'you' or 'your'.
He shoved that to the side. It was likely just that Dazai realised how serious this situation was to Chuuya.
SLUG!: …I hope so. On one hand if I wake up with nothing there's nothing I can go off of to find my soulmate but on the other hand if there is something then my soulmate got hurt and I don’t like the idea of that
MCKRL: well the only way to find out is in the morning. go to sleep Chuuya. i'll leave earlier than usual tomorrow.
SLUG!: Okay then
SLUG!: Goodnight
MCKRL: night, i'll be awake for a few more hrs if u need anything
Chuuya sighed and turned off his phone, placing it back where it had been, plugging it in to charge. Dazai was right, the only thing he could do was wait, and the best way to do that was by sleeping.
So, Chuuya got up, flipping off his light switch and then settling back into bed, still able to hear his parents moving around downstairs.
As he breathed slowly in the dim light of his room, he surveyed the contents.
The window was slightly ajar, allowing the breeze to cool down his stuffy room. It was too warm for this time of year.
He glanced at the ceiling, counting the glow in the dark stars that were stuck up, the same way he had done every night since Dazai had barged into his room and started sticking them up with no warning.
Dazai had gotten a pack of 100 glowing stars, and split the pack between the two of them, each getting 50.
Chuuya had 44 on his ceiling, most of them never moved since he had put them up with Dazai.There was 5 on his mirror, three in the top right corner, and two on the bottom left.
The last one was kept in his wallet. He had put it there because he didn't have anywhere else for it to go, not wanting to mess up the layout he had made with Dazai, and liking the asymmetrical design on his mirror.
After a while of keeping it in there, he had went to the shop with Dazai once, and noticed Dazai also had one of the stars in his wallet. He had never taken it out, and last time he checked Dazai hadn't either.
It was like their version of friendship bracelets.
Apparently Dazai had bought them after they went on a school trip to a science centre, and the two had spent majority of their time gushing over the astronomy section, Chuuya obsessing over the chemical makeup of stars and Dazai explaining the physics behind everything.
Chuuya remembered that day well. They had originally been paired separately, but after Dazai sweet talked the people they were with and the teacher in charge, the people they had been with were put together and Dazai and Chuuya ended up happily sitting next to each other and sharing headphones on the way there, and then Chuuya ended up being a pillow for Dazai on the way back.
If anybody asks, no he did not also fall asleep, he was just trying to still to not wake up the insomniac who was finally sleeping.
Chuuya's eyes grew heavier the longer he thought, being filled with a strange nostalgia he was not too unfamiliar with.
Dazai's words of comfort seemed to have helped however, the pit of anxiety around the whole soulmate business having died down. Eventually, he found himself drifting off, falling into a dreamless sleep.
---
Chuuya woke up on Monday the 29th of April with a headache, and a weird tingly sensation over most of his body. He rolled over to turn off his alarm, sighing in the realisation that it was finally his birthday.
Slowly, he got up, blearily stumbling from his bedroom to the bathroom, rubbing the sleep from his eyes as he grabbed his toothbrush. The taste of the spearmint toothpaste that he quite frankly hated was enough to wake him up as he turned from the cup with the toothbrushes to his mirror.
What. The Fuck.
Chuuya choked on his toothpaste, the sight of an aquamarine line on the back of his arm poking out from below his long sleeve.
He spat out the toothpaste and rinsed the brush off, putting it back in the cup. He yanked his sleeve up, a wave of nausea rolling over him at the sight of more lines.
He pulled the sleeve back down, and stared at himself in the mirror. He hadn't even properly looked, just seen a few more. He looked a mess, his face pale and hair messy, his chin covered in the toothpaste he had choked on, and his eyes wide open.
He left the bathroom in silence, ignoring the confused expression on his little sister's face and entering his room and closing and locking the door.
He looked in his mirror. He had purposely worn a long sleeved shirt and trousers to sleep that way he wouldn't risk seeing something the instant he woke up.
'It worked I guess,' Chuuya thought, '…what the hell am I supposed to do with this?'
He swallowed, and in one swift movement pulled off his shirt.
He stared at the blue lines covering his arms from his shoulders to his wrists, the outside and insides of his arms. There was barely a bare patch of skin.
'At least my soulmates favourite colour isn't red..?' he thought, trying to pull a smile.
He sighed, looking at his actual arms instead of their reflection. The blue had slightly different shades on certain marks, and in certain areas. Some were extremely faint, and others were bright against his skin.
He's seen soulmate marks before of course, his parents have them, his older sister has them, some of his friends have them, but it was different seeing them on his own skin.
This was... jarring, if not downright horrifying. What in the hell had happened to his soulmate?
Scratch that, he had a feeling he knew already. Inspecting the lines closer was all he needed.
They were clearly self-inflicted wounds. He knows about self-harm obviously, he has friends who struggle with it, and there had been a time the year before after he came out that he had considered it himself.
Still, the quantity and severity of these injuries was terrifying.
'There's no way I can go to school with these on display,' he realised, quickly moving to find his school shirt and a hoodie to wear.
It was really too hot for a jumper, but well, desperate times. He grabbed his uniform and a jumper, scrambling to cover himself.
He had no clue who his soulmate was, but he was already extremely concerned.
He shed his trousers in order to put on the rest of his uniform, and nearly gagged at the sight of more blue lines along his thighs.
'Oh god,' he thought, covering his mouth with his hand at the sight of those marks, appearing in an even deeper blue to the ones on his arms. He pulled his trousers on without a second thought.
'I need to speak to Dazai,' was his next thought, grabbing his shoes and bag, and pocketing his phone as he practically ran out of the door, much to the bewilderment of his mother in the kitchen, who called out 'happy birthday' in a futile attempt to gain Chuuya's attention.
Surprisingly, Dazai was already outside, leaning against a lamp post with his headphones on. At the sight of Chuuya's pale and alarmed expression, his smile and greeting died.
"What happened?" Dazai demanded instantly, falling into step next to Chuuya as they headed in the direction of school.
Chuuya shook his head frantically, his hands clenched into fists inside his pockets.
"I don't even know- well, I do, but-" Chuuya cut himself off, groaning in frustration. "I woke up with a soulmate mark."
Dazai's expression twisted for a miniscule second, but Chuuya wasn't paying attention, practically vibrating with nervous energy.
"Isn't that a good thing?" he asked dryly. "Happy birthday by the way," he added more sincerely.
Chuuya sighed, kicking a rock.
"Thanks, but it isn't just a mark Dazai," he said, looking up at Dazai, his expression serious. Dazai surveyed his expression, seemingly understanding how serious this was to Chuuya, and waiting for him to finish explaining.
"I am covered in marks. The entirety of my arms, and my thighs. I didn't even bother checking anywhere else before covering them up."
Dazai nodded instantly in understanding, holding out his hand. Chuuya glanced around, double checking nobody was there, then pulled up the sleeve of his jumper and handed his arm to Dazai.
As they walked, Dazai gingerly held onto Chuuya's arm, inspecting the lines, his face paling as he looked.
Dazai opened his mouth to say something, then hesitated. Chuuya looked at him worriedly, watching as Dazai thought.
After a moment, he let go of Chuuya's arm, and nodded grimly.
"Definitely self-inflicted, oldest is likely a week or so old, freshest probably last night or early this morning."
Chuuya pulled his sleeve back down hastily, the amount of people around them increasing the closer the pair got to the school.
The confirmation that the wounds covering his soulmates body were the result of self-harm was not much of a comfort to him, much less the fact that now he was going to have these marks all over him at least until he meets his soulmate, and likely for longer afterwards as well.
He sighed, shoving his hand back in his pocket.
"The fuck do I do now?" he asked bitterly, not expecting an answer. Dazai sighed, and shrugged.
"You wait, I guess. Find your soulmate, hope nobody asks too much about the marks and try and continue as normal."
Chuuya scowled, kicking the ground.
"Yeah, I'll just go around all the potential candidates and ask if any of them have a proficiency for slicing their arms up, it'll be easy and not at all upsetting and rude," he said snarkily, and Dazai smiled slightly.
"I'm sure you would be fine doing that! You can withstand a punch! Besides, dogs like you don't understand manners, so I'm sure they'd forgive you!"
Chuuya elbowed Dazai, and he yelped, jumping out the way.
"I'm not a dog! Are you ever going to let that stupid bet go?!" he yelled in irritation, but he couldn't say that Dazai's usual teasing wasn't making him feel at least a little bit better.
Dazai just grinned, skipping ahead of Chuuya.
"Never!"
Chuuya groaned, but walked faster to keep up with Dazai. When Dazai noticed Chuuya walking faster he broke into a run, turning around to shout at Chuuya.
"Last one to the school has to do the others homework for a week!"
"You're on!" Chuuya called back, not hesitating as he ran after Dazai. Like hell would he do Dazai's homework for him.