Chapter Text
—
Her skin was melting off, burning and draining her of any will to stay alive. Pain, pain, pain. Guilt, guilt, guilt. Pain and more excruciating pain.
She heard Clarisse’s soothing voice, felt her hands cradling her gently, holding her into the mortal realm like an anchor.
‘Don’t let me go. Please. I want to die. This hurts. I deserve this. I want the pain to stop. I want it to stop. Please don't let me go. I don't want to leave you. I love you. I just want to die.’
“You stupid Aphrodite girl.”
Her heart beat faster and faster. She was a traitor, she’d brought all the death and destruction surrounding them. She killed Charlie, she sentenced her friends to death. She deserved to go this way. She deserved no soothing or relief of the raw fear taking over her. She trembled lightly, only trying to focus on Clarisse as tears ran down her face.
“Forgive me.”
She didn't want to go.
A blinding light pulsed before her and the pain ceased to exist then, warmth taking its place.
“You’re not dying.”
It was of no use. She couldn't hear Clarisse anymore. She didn't feel her. She didn't smell the sweat and blood of battle… Clarisse, Clarisse, Clarisse.
Beyond the light appeared the field of Elysium, where Charlie stood with his hand out, smiling warmly.
Clarisse, Clarisse, Clarisse.
“Charlie…See…Charlie…”
Clarisse. She wanted back. She longed for the pain, for the suffering. But she couldn't fight being pulled to the other side. There was no fighting it. After all, she wasn't a fighter, she was nothing.
Then, Silena was alive again.
“Open your eyes, child.”
She wasn't in the fields.
She was in a dark, empty place. A void. Was her soul on its way to Tartarus? It was what she deserved, afterall. But the voice was far from rough or terrifying. It was so soft, Silena felt safe enough to turn and stare in shock at the woman in front of her.
“It is alright. You will live.”
The woman shone as bright as the sun itself. Her golden hair fell loosely around her bare shoulders. Silena’s eyes trailed up the goddess’ frame but stopped before looking directly at her face. She stood frozen in place, unable to react to the pure form of Aphrodite.
“Mother.”
Oh.
“Oh.”
Aphrodite’s laugh warmed Silena’s soul. It slowed her heartbeat and she could finally breathe normally again.
“Your purpose has not yet been fulfilled in the mortal world.”
What.
“I have begged the gods to let you live.”
Silena went to complain. She wanted to scream and cry that it wasn't fair for her to be saved. They should bring back heroes, ones who died in battle and fought until the end. Not a traitor who got her own friends killed.
She didn’t get the chance to, as Aphrodite knelt before her and gently grabbed her face. Silena finally looked at her, and she didn't explode or anything. Honestly, she could have. But instead, she felt safe. Protected. Understood and forgiven.
“Why?” She choked out, lip trembling and tears clouding her vision.
Aphrodite smiled softly: “The Gods have wronged so many, my daughter. But not every soul can be brought back. And not every God can put their pride aside to plead for their children with such desperation.”
“Why would you save me?”
“I told you.”
Your purpose has not yet been fulfilled.
“You have something so special. And, frankly, Hades owed me.”
“Mother-”
“Please, let this be my gift to you. Let this be the Gods’ pathetic way of apologizing.”
“But-”
“Do not think it is going to be easy. This is both a blessing and a curse, but remember, it is for a reason. Have faith. I will be there when you need me.”
Why? Why would Aphrodite suddenly do this and pick Silena as her favored child? It made no sense. Nothing made any sense. She had so many questions.
Then, Silena was, truly and actually, alive.
“I’ll be there when you need me, my ass.” Silena mumbled under her breath three years later, on one faithful tuesday morning slumped across an infirmary bed. Aphrodite was, most certainly, never there afterwards.
Will raised an eyebrow, clearly amused by her rare outbursts: “Careful there.”
“Why do I even have to come to checkups?” she continued with the same frustrated tonne as she sat up, but immediately regretted it upon seeing Will’s beaten up reaction: “I’m sorry. I didn't mean to snap at you, it's just…they're not changing. What's the point?”
The scars. The scars. From the Drakon. She might have been alive, but the venom did irreversible, horrible damage to her face. Half of it was scarred so badly that younger campers were scared out of their minds when they first saw her. Hell, they made horror stories about her around campfires, she knew. Everyone knew. And that included Clarisse.
New campers learned very quickly to not talk badly about Silena, through slightly violent methods not often appreciated by Chiron.
Will watched his friend’s eyes turn sad as she got lost in thought, undoubtedly about the marks on her face, torso, and right arm. Because, yes, the poison reached areas of those too. It took an awfully agonizing time for her to recover, Will knew, because he was there for it. And even if Silena might have healed physically, mentally was still a work in progress.
He couldn't let her slip into the back of her mind like that and cleverly replied:
“Gossip, duh.”
Both of them stared at each other so seriously, it took exactly 10 seconds before they bursted into laughter.
“You’re my favorite person in this place.”
“Second favorite.” Will teased suggestively.
“Don’t even.”
“But I thought we were here for gossip!”
“Not about me! And you know what we’re here for.”
Oh, they both knew. There was a greater reason to wake up at 6am than gossip. Though, that was a great motivator by itself alone…
“I still don't get how Piper agreed to this.”
Will took the bag Silena held out for him and started pulling out a few more from hidden places around the infirmary. They were filled with bows and arrows, and the one from Aphrodite's Cabin, well… a load of pink colored hearts, sprays and various decorations.
“She wanted to mess with Reyna.”
Silena laughed when she remembered her desperate plea to convince their new Cabin Counselor, Piper McClean, to join Apollo’s Cabin on their little plan.
Oh, yeah, she wasn't Counselor anymore, either. After the Manhattan battle, and, well, being a traitor, no one saw her fit to be in charge again. That, and she was bedded from injuries for months anyway. So, Drew took over, and later on after the Gaea War, Piper.
It was the right choice. And while Piper, and some others, suggested insistently that Silena should’ve done it, she knew there was more reason than trust behind that decision. In almost 3 years, she'd earned nearly everyone's trust back. She had proved her loyalty. That, or anyone who believed otherwise was too terrified of Clarisse to speak up.
The real reason was quieter, only confessed to in whispers, behind closed doors, but clearly written all over people’s faces.
Someone kids are horrified to look at can’t be the head of Aphrodite's Cabin .
Well, they could suck it. Her mother wasn't only about beauty. Or at least that's what Silena liked to live by and believe, it wasn't like Aphrodite showed up again to confirm it or help through the long journey of self-hatred after she pulled that little reviving act.
“You’re slipping. Get moving.”
Silena smiled and grabbed a few bags from Will, almost falling over at the weight.
“Gods, how many Apollo kids are in on this?”
“All of us. We’re on the clock, come on!”
“Is Nico coming?” Silena teased as she followed her friend out.
“No gossip!”
—
“You stupid Aphrodite girl.”
Clarisse never cried in her life, genuinely cried, over anyone other than Silena Beauregard. And as she stood there on the battlefield, soaked in glory after killing the Drakon, the only thing that filled her was agony. Pride was not meant for a shattered heart.
“Forgive me.”
“You’re not dying.”
Silena’s head lay in her lap. The girl weighed nothing in Clarisse’s arms, her body limp and cold. It wasn't only Silena close to death, it was, in an inexplicable way, a part of Clarisse’s soul as well. She didn't understand and never tried to, how someone like herself could only feel whole when a daughter of Aphrodite was there to be the better half. With Silena went the last bit of what made Clarisse truly human, she realized, but too late.
Silena never looked at her. She stared out, looking past the horrifying fight field, past her friends. The light was slowly leaving her eyes, that glint that made Clarisse feel like maybe love wasn't so ridiculous, that made her think Aphrodite was, in a way, more powerful than the gods of wars and storms.
“Charlie. See…Charlie.”
It didn't even matter to her, that the girl she loved more than she loved anything in the world was dying in her arms with another person’s name on her lips. As much as it further broke what remained of her soul, she just wanted Silena to live. Because life meant nothing without her, really. Nothing real.
She went completely still. The shaky motion of her chest going up and down stopped. Silena’s divine face now destroyed, burnt and scarred brutally, her heavenly voice never to be heard again, her perfect body wrecked by battle and her soul ripped away by the cruelty of the world… her playful eyes empty forever.
Truth was, it wasn't only Silena who died with that final breath.
The scream Ares’ daughter let out shook the ground with the power of giants. She sobbed like she never had before, and her tears dripped down onto Silena’s soft face, blending with the Aphrodite's daughter’s last tears.
No one dared say a word to Clarisse. Percy, Annabeth… everyone watched her bend down and press her forehead against Silena’s as she cried until her voice broke. Until there was no feeling left in her. No mourning, no pain or suffering. No grief. Only a hunger for revenge which even Nemesis paled in front of.
Drakon-slayer, who dragged the monster behind her chariot as she cut her way through Kronos’ army to victory, with nothing left to lose.
Silena was dead. Silena was dead. Silena was gone. Silena died in battle in Clarisse’s place. Clarisse let her die. Without ever saying how much she loved her, and maybe if she had, if she got it into Silena’s head that she’d always be loved no matter what, it wouldn't have gotten to this point. To this stupid sacrifice, out of guilt. Or maybe it would've made no difference. Maybe Silena would not have cared about Clarisse, as love used to be tragic like that. But what did it matter? Silena was dead.
Clarisse jumped awake, roughly grabbing at her perpatro’s arm, ready to flip them over and-
“Oh. Shit, sorry.”
Silena. Who was alive, Clarisse remembered. She still had trouble doing that after years.
“Are you okay?” Silena asked softly, seemingly unbothered by the fact she almost got Judo flipped. “Because you don't look okay.”
Clarisse scoffed. The Aphrodite daughter did have a point. She slept in, and the nightmare that kept haunting her lately, screwed her up. She woke sweating and panting, prepared to attack something and take it down with her bare hands.
Not being okay at all, she looked around her Cabin and noticed it was empty. Every Ares kid was already gone, and it made sense when she saw the clock on the wall reading 10:30.
“Risse?” Silena’s voice cut through the air. Clarisse turned to look at her, immediately met with soft blue eyes very close to her face. Suddenly, the adrenaline and fight clouding her mind dispensed and Clarisse’s heart beat faster for very different reasons.
Was Silena charmspeaking? She wasn't even talking, was she charm-minding? Her hand was on Clarisse’s shoulder, palm spread over so Silena’s fingers just grazed over her heart.
That was definitely a thing. Very powerful Aphrodite kids were known to have the ability to control others’s emotions, to an extent. Accelerate their hearts or slow them, calm them down. Only Piper and Silena presented to have these alongside with charmspeak, it proved useful when people had panic attacks in the infirmary or needed a little courage.
That’s what Silena was probably doing now, trying to calm Clarisse down, yeah. That’s why she was basically one inch from her face and her hand quite literally over her chest.
Well, it wasn't working. Clarisse preferred the adrenaline over the urge to either lean closer or shoot through the roof.
Mess as she was, Clarisse didn't break eye contact and blurted out an annoyed:
“What are you doing here?”
Silena shrugged as she took a step back. After years of being the closest person to Clarisse, she wasn't bothered by the girl’s mean personality anymore.
“Wanted to drop off your clothes.”
Yeah, they shared clothes now, that was a thing. Quite often, really. It was more a case of Silena stealing Clarisse’s and an endless source of teasing for her siblings, but whatever.
“No, I meant what are you doing at the Cabins. The ceremony’s starting.”
Today was the celebration of their victory in Gaea’s War. Romans were coming over, as well as the Hunters. It was a long day of Games (Chariot Races, Capture the Flag, sort-of-not-but-not-really-gladiator-fights and so on), ending in a party. It should be fun, but Clarisse wasn't in for it until the fighting for entertaining started.
“Aphrodite and Apollo Cabin had something to get done.”
Silena’s smile took over her whole face and Clarisse was going to combust. The Ares kid looked over Silena, to where she was pointing outside. She raised an eyebrow and walked out.
Her jaw almost dropped at the sight of Artemis’s Cabin, covered in heart-shaped arrows, glowing pink paint and fluffy Valentine’s Day on-sale decorations. You could barely see the wood underneath. Artemis's cabin looked like a glowing barbie dreamhouse havoc.
“There's no fucking way.”
“What's your rating?” Silena leaned arm on Clarisse’s shoulder, smiling at Cabin 8 like a proud mother. Clarisse couldn't hold back her grin anymore.
“Who came up with this?”
“Well, Apollo asked his kids to prank Artemis at first. Then Will told me their lame plan of just wrapping toilet around, and I suggested we…help a little. Since the Hunters think we’re so aggravating to be around.”
“And Piper agreed?”
“Got her to.” Silena replied with a cocky expression. Something rare, probably because the world would implode or something if she’d done it more or something.
Gods, she's going to be the end of me. She can’t just look like that .
“Thalia’s gonna murder us.” Silena continued, not exactly scared, more so proud of it, like it was an achievement.
Horns were blown in the background, announcing the Romans's arrival. Silena tugged at Clarisse’s hand:
“Come on, we’ll be late.”
Clarisse didn't have the heart to tell her she wasn't planning on going until the first game, which she participated in. She actually participated in all of them. Since Romans were playing as well, there were some real challenges and she buzzed with anticipation and excitement. There wasn't anything like a hard, potentially lethal, fight to brighten your day and get your blood pumping. Well, maybe except for Silena Beauregard holding onto your hand and dragging you towards the Colosseum.
----
Silena sat through the ceremony in awe, stuffed between Will and Clarisse as the Seven got onto stage to give speeches and whatnot. The crowd laughed a lot during Leo’s, or maybe they were laughing at Leo. Percy’s was very light hearted and filled with jokes as well, while Annabeth and Piper spoke of Jason and all the sacrifices people made for the cause. Frank and Hazel, while a little more lighthearted, thanked the demigods and gave a sort of recap of what's happened since the victory.
Surprisingly, after Apollo’s trials and Percy’s quests to get into New Rome University, the Gods have been calm. No big prophecy, no world-ending war, no big kids. And camp was more cramped than ever with the multitude of minor gods children, but it was nice. Silena really loved it. It might have taken her a while, but she really started calling this place home again. She kept in touch regularly with Percy and Annabeth, but singer they were gone for most of the time, Piper quickly became one of her closest friends, and Will was like a little brother. Hell, everyone at camp tended to come to her first when they needed aid in emotional situations or, well, ‘matters of the heart’. Little people knew, but she was the one to bug Will so much about asking Nico out until he did.
And if she couldn't solve their problems nicely, she’d direct them to Clarisse for a more “practical” solution. And the Ares kid did almost anything for anyone if they told her Silena sent them.
It was nice, not worrying about wars, monsters and death at all times.
“Now!” Percy yelled from the stage, snatching the mic from Chrion’s head: “Since there's a bit of a problem with the program because my dear cousin has no such concept of ‘being on time’ and the Hunters are late, we’re moving Capture the Flag at the end of day and starting with Chariot Races! Let the War Games begin!”
The crowd erupted in roars, and both Silena and Clarisse laughed at Will’s long groan knowing he’d have to tend to injured greeks and romans all day tomorrow.
The Hunters arrived too, eventually, and went directly to the games rather than Artemis’s Cabin, thank the Gods. Thalia and Percy took jabs at one another before rushing to the stands to watch the games too.
The Seven were forbidden from participating in most, so they hanged together with a few additions like Grover, Rachel Nico, Thalia, Reyna, Will and Silena. Of course they took bets on who’d win. Annabeth watched horrified as Percy placed all of his college fund in front of Travis Stoll.
“On Clarisse.”
“Percy, I swear on the name of my mother if you lose-” His girlfriend threatened, and of course it went unheard as Travis collected the money.
“For which games?”
“All of them.”
Frank raised an eyebrow: “Are you sure? I don't think she’ll beat our guy in sword fighting.”
“Fine. Chariot and spear games. And for Capture the Flag, put them on CHB.”
Thalia laughed: “Didn't know you had a gambling addiction these days.”
“You know you’d be the first to bet if you had money.” Annabeth retorted, not taking any shit from anyone, as per usual.
“Oh. She can bet.” Percy provoked his cousin, looking her up and down as his eyes fixed on the Hunter crescent on her forehead: “She’s just a coward.”
“What’d you call me?”
“You heard it. You wouldn't dare.”
Reyna grabbed at Thalia’s arm firmly, to stop her from doing a very stupid thing out of pride and bet her goddamn sacred symbol of the Hunt: “Thals…”
She ignored the former Praetor’s warning, much like Percy did Annabeth’s, and shoved Artemis’s Crescent on the table.
Rachel gasped: “Isn’t she gonna turn you into a deer or something?”
“Definitely.” Annabeth said with a tired sigh.
“I’m not pleading for you.” Reyna added, arms crossed.
“Oh, relax. My Lady will only take her godly anger out on me if I lose it.”
“Do you know how much money a Hunter’s Crescent is on the black market?” Travis interjected: “I’m not giving it back if Clarisse loses and you fuck up the bet. I lack that type of morality with this type of money involved.”
“Then your girlfriend better win cause I’m doomed.” Thalia addressed Silena directly.
She frowned: “She’s not my girlfriend.”
“She’s not my girlfriend.” Leo mimicked perfectly, like he’s heard Silena say that a hundred times before. Piper pushed him to shut him up, and he fell right into Percy and they started fighting, taking the attention off the subject of matter.
So what if people thought she and Clarisse were dating, huh? They were just very close friends, and Silena was just very hopelessly in love. Seriously, it wasn't that big of a deal.
It didn't matter if everyone knew about it, either.
“Silena, I don't want to push you, but you’re actually head over heels and I’m going to personally force you two together if I have to witness more pining while I’m here.” ~ A very Frustrated Annabeth Chase
“You're like the textbook definition of a homoerotic friendship.” ~Piper McClean, casually in the middle of the night and approved by every other Aphrodite child trying to fall asleep as Silena kept ranting about Clarisse.
“Silena, just talk to her. It's the millionth time you ask for my advice and it's not going to change.” ~ Wonderful, fed up, Will Solace.
“Yeah, we had a betting pool on you last summer. Your siblings lost a shit tonne of money on it.” ~ Connor Stoll, leader of Hermes Cabin.
No one ever blamed her for being madly in love with Clarisse, either. Well, Percy joked about it, but it made sense. After she died (not really), Silena was just the shell of a person. She came back to life like the wreck of a ship, scarred horribly in ever way of the word. She spent almost two entire years hating herself and letting the guilt eat away at her. She couldn't stand seeing her own face, she never smiled anymore or really talked to anyone, no matter how hard they tried to be at her side. She blamed herself for her friends’s deaths and suffering and hated herself more than anyone ever did.
It was Clarisse who pulled her out of the dark place, with help from Will, Piper and Annabeth, of course, but it truly was Clarisse at the center of it. Clarisse was the one who sat by Silena’s bed through her recovery, she was the one who held Silena while she cried and softly whispered words of affection to her. Clarisse helped Silena regain her confidence and start training again, she put the first smile back on Silena’s face and was always there for her. Clarisse was the one who saved Silena in every way a person could be saved, to quote her favorite love movie. Ruthless, dangerous, cruel daughter of Ares, Clarisse, did all of that for her.
All of that was totally platonic, of course.
Because it didn't matter if she was madly in love with Clarisse, because Clarisse wasn't in love with her.
“Chris wasn't even a real thing. They broke up, they're friends now. You do know she's not straight. You have to know that, right? Right, Lena?” ~ Piper, going insane over her sister’s stupidity.
"Do you, like, need a prophecy to get together? Cause I’ll give it.” ~ Rachel Dare
“Gotta agree with Will on that one. She's definitely in love with you, and that's coming from me.” ~ Exasperated Nico DiAngelo
“Aren’t you basically a couple already, anyway? You’re like the moms of camp.” ~ Leo Valdez
“It’s Clarisse, dude. She doesn't act like that with people.” ~ Very confused Percy
“Silena, I love you, but you are lacking serious common sense right now.” ~ Even frustrated Annabeth Chase.
“Oh my fucking gods, Silena. Do you want me to drag mom down here herself to tell you that girl is totally in love with you?” ~ Angry, fed up, dear loving sister, Drew Tanaka
They were all wrong, they…just were. She just knew. She had given Clarisse hints, obvious chances to do something, it just never happened and Silena had given up. She’d rather have Clarisse as a friend than scare her away, so she let her heart break over it everyday and went on like an angsty, deplorable teenager. That’s what she got for falling in love with a daughter of Ares.
Will pat her back sympathetically and Silena followed him along for the next game as Annabeth broke the boys up.
Get it together, Silena.
Clarisse did, in fact, win the chariot and spear fighting competitions. The rest of the titles, however, were taken by skilled romans. Which was fair enough.
Towards the end of the day, everyone gathered for Capture the Flag. ‘Game of the Century’, as Leo had advertised it dramatically. And he was right.
It was romans versus greeks, plus Reyna and Thalia in their respective former teams. The winners would get a prize in money (the Camps needed serious funding) and the golden fleece. Yes, they passed the magical mythical item of high importance around as a prize, deal with it.
Silena didn't participate in the game because, well, they had to have the best fighters in to win. So, she just waited with the others for the winning announcement, hoping Annabeth had a great strategy because Silena was going to seriously commit a felony if she had to share the showers with the Stolls anymore.
Satyrs flew on pegasi over the forest, giving updates as Chiron narrated dramatically. Silena tried to focus, actually interested, believe it or not, but her mind kept wandering. She couldn't focus to save her life.
“Silena.”
Oh, hell no.
“Silena.”
“Silena?”
“Huh?”
She looked at Rachel besides her, filled with confusion. The redhead stared at her down, a tint of glowing green in her eyes.
“Go talk to your mother.”
Rachel was eery, her eyes darkening as she spoke. Rachel was never scary like this, but Silena had a gut feeling this was the oracle in some way.
She didn't know how she was supposed to go talk to her mother , but she just stood up and walked away, letting her feet move her away on their own accord.
After a minute or so of walking, a dove landed on her shoulder. It chiriped sweetly and flew off. A wave of warmth washed over Selina. The air around her felt hotter, easier to breathe, and her heart beat faster, her senses and brain clouded like she was tipsy on cheap contraband booze from Hermes kids.
It was flying towards the stables, Silena realized and followed the dove, a bit light headed. Everything around her seemed beautiful, even the hoov-trempled sand.
It made sense to meet with the goddess of beauty by pegasi stables, sure. Silena didn't think much of it and took the corner. She stopped in her tracks in front of Aphrodite, the dove resting on her shoulder and still chirping absently.
Silena wasn't as thrilled as last time, but she wasn't angry either. Disappointment was a better word, because, sure, she was mad her mother just left her like that, but it was just common courtesy of godly parents.
Okay, she probably would've been mad if not in the presence of the goddess’s calming allure and blinding beauty that messed with her head.
“Hello, daughter.”
“...hello, mother?” Silena attempted, having no idea how to react at all.
Aphrodite laughed and the demigod’s head spun even more.
“I am not supposed to be here, and there's much to tell you in short time. But all you need to know now is that the next quest is yours. It must be taken by you, and if I am right about everything, you’ll know who to choose. It must be undertaken by them too, to work.”
Silena stared at the woman: “What?”
“And I am sorry. For what's happened and for what is to follow. But you need to trust your heart.”
“Can you be less...cryptic?”
Aphrodite vanished in response.
Great. Amazing, totally cool.
What in the name of Taratarus just happened. Why did Silena feel like there was a new impending doom around the corner?
—
The Romans and Greeks fought in the river water. War Cries echoed off the tall trees, weapons clattering and demigods dropping in surrender.
Both teams had gotten the flags.
Both teams clashed at the river, both one step away from victory.
Clarisse fought three men in full purple attire, protecting the flag behind her. She analyzed the fight, trying to spot the greatest threats of the romans.
Leo, Piper, and Thalia were holding off Frank and Hazel, barely able to contain them. Percy faced almost the entire rest of the roman legion, and all the other greeks were busy getting rounded by Reyna, who guarded the purple flag just fine.
Where the hell was Annabeth and her strategic wisdom.
“Yield.” Frank ordered, pinning Leo to the ground.
“Okay, okay!” The Vulcan put his hands up as Thalia attempted to shoot Frank down.
It wasn't fair, if they could use powers the Romans would be long gone, but whatever.
Someone's hot breath on her neck made her flinch mid punch, allowing her closest opponent to send her stumbling back.
Has someone snuck up on her? Impossible. There wasn't anyone other than the three-
“I’ll take Reyna.”
The air is fucking talking.
Her brain turned back on quickly and Clarisse realized it was invisible Annabeth who finally made it out of her fight somewhere behind them.
She understood fast. Annabeth would confuse Reyna, and Clarisse had to hurry and grab the purple flag, then get it over the river. But it would mean their own getting stolen, there wasn't time to do it fast enough.
She still did as told. If she learned anything in her 19 years of life on this earth, it was to trust Annabeth chase.
The Ares daughter waited until she saw Reyna turn and slash at the air behind her, then get messy as she fought nothing with anger. She definitely knew Annabeth was using Athena’s gift and couldn't be allowed to reach the Flag.
Clarisse screamed so loud her attackers backed off in fear and let her pass right through. She spun her spear and threw it at the ground, using it to boost herself up and jump over Reyna, then grab the Flag.
Every roman in the area ran to her, as the ones on the opposite side stole their flag and almost got it over.
Almost.
Because Thalia shot them down in an instant, clearly prepared for it. Annabeth must’ve told them all what to do. And Clarisse did her part.
She ran her shoulder into Reyna harshly, ignoring the burning pain from the sword of imperial gold that sliced her arm open.
She ran straight ahead, flag right in hand as she deflected any Roman that managed to get to her.
She took the leap over water, and her feet planted into the wet sand. Clarissed raised the purple up and all the greeks cheered, jumping on her back.
“Suck on that, losers!” Leo laughed, quickly shutting up at Reyna’s pointed glare.
The party followed shortly afterwards. After a quick visit at the infirmary to get ambrosia for her injuries, she joined her friends in the big house.
Her brothers and sisters congratulated her and gave her drinks on the house, so she got very hammered very quickly. In the next hours she played drinking games with Leo, discussed weapons with Reyna and bullied Percy like in the good old days. It was a good party. She talked to Silena too, briefly. The Aphrodite daughter looked very torn for some reason, and she lingered around her siblings an unusual amount. Clarisse let her be.
So, it was well past 12, everyone still at the party, and she was talking to Annabeth, drinks in hand:
“Yeah, New Rome is amazing.”
That was it. It was the moment.
“You think they’d take in more greeks?”
Annabeth looked shocked at first, quickly figuring out what Clarisse was asking. She was smart like that.
“I and Percy had to do extra quests for it. It sucked. But I think you’d love some action. Plenty enough in Camp Jupiter as it is, anyway.”
Clarisse sighed, downing her glass: “I’m done with quests and fighting. Well, serious fighting. I might leave… at the end of summer.”
“Why did you stay here for three more years, then?”
“You know why.” Clarisse warned, looking at Annabeth intensely. She was drunk enough to open up a bit to her friend, yeah, but not enough to confess anything about a particular Aphrodite child.
“I do.” The blonde confirmed, moving her gaze on Piper charmspeaking Leo to drink a whole bottle of nectar and vodka cocktail.
“You seriously want to leave, though?”
“I already applied.”
That, Annabeth looked shocked by: “Where?”
“Arizona university, I got in. Don't look so shocked, I’m not as smart as you, but I’m not a completely lost cause.” Clarisse spat, and her friend just laughed.
“Sure.”
“Anyway. I spoke to my mom, she’ll let me live with her for a while. We don't really talk but she's certainly not the worst parent to have.”
“Amen to that.”
“Did you change religions while you were gone?” Grover chimed in happily: “What's the matter?”
“Clarisse is going to college.”
“Hey, I haven’t told anyone else yet!”
“Oh, shoot. Sorry.”
Grover only smiled and fistbumped Clarisse hesitantly, clearly scared by her murderous glare:
“That’s amazing! I won’t tell anyone, don't worry. Wait, Silena doesn't know either?”
“No.”
“Okay.”
“Don’t you have a girlfriend to attend to?” Clarisse insisted, hoping the satyir would fuck off somewhere else.
“Oh, she's with Calypso.”
“Ugh.”
“That’s the Clarisse we know and love!” Percy exclaimed, joining the trio.
Oh my gods does everyone have to be here?
She just wanted to talk to Annabeth and get some might wisdom, now he was stuck next to idiotic Percy Jackson.
The three others fell into familiar conversation that Clarisse refused to join in, busy overthinking her decision.
It wasn't a bad thing to want to leave this life. She's wanted to since Silena “died”. God of War heritage and all, Clarisse didn't want the pain and suffering of it. She desperately wanted to be someone outside of her father, she wanted a somewhat peaceful life and that started with moving back in with her mom to go to college. But Silena would never leave Camp, or the demigod life. Not anymore. She’d said herself, and to Clarisse leaving Camp meant leaving Silena.
She didn't realize that her train of thought ultimately led to her staring at Silena across the room. She looked like a goddess in the dim light, Aphrodite herself and even more. She was laughing with Will and Nico and the light cast a faint glimmer across her face, the scars standing out. They were beautiful in Clarisse’s eyes, as if a famous painter had carefully drawn them across Silena’s face to leave her be a piece of art forever, that showed bravery and sacrifice and gods Clarisse’s heart jumped a little when Silena smiled again.
Get a fucking grip, Clarisse.
She could tell her friend wasn't exactly well, even if she fooled everyone else. She noticed, from far away, that Silena’s deep blue eyes weren't bright, they were clouded with worry. Clarisse just knew from how she wore her dress on one rigid, tensed shoulder and how she stood that something was bothering Silena and it was bothering Clarisse even more to not know what the problem was.
A slow song came on, and everyone, obviously, paired up. Will and Nico apologized to Silena and left as well. She was still staring like an idiot before Annabeth groaned besides her.
“Ask her.”
Clarisse wouldn't have the courage to in a million years.
“Or someone else will.” Annabeth added before joining the dance floor with Percy.
Okay, yes. She had a point. Some guys were already around the Aphrodite kids and Clarisse didn't want to murder anyone anytime soon, or have to watch Silena dance with someone else.
She walked over to Silena, whose eyes finally sparkled for the first time that night. She could do this. She killed the Drakon, fought actual gods and slain monsters in battle. She was deemed the bravest demigod. She could ask Silena for one dance without passing out from emotion.
“Hey.”
“Hey.” Silena smiled and raised an eyebrow expectantly.
Clarisse held her hand out, clearly an invitation. All the other pairs were saying around them, lost in one another.
Silena stared at Clarisse, clearly not expecting it. Then, her attitude changed completely.
“Oh, actually, no, I- come with me.”
Clarisse wanted to jump off the Empire State at first, then she was being dragged out of the big house before getting a chance to swallow in internal angst.
Silena, for the second time that day, was dragging her across Camp and Clarisse didn't like (she loved it) how it was becoming a common occurrence.
“You couldn't have just said no, you know? Didn't have to sent me back to my cabin too-”
Silena pushed her against a wall and Clarisse forgot how to speak.
What the hell what the hell what the hell what whatwhatwhatwhatwhat.
“Huh? No, no, I did want to dance.” Silena apparently did that just to shut her up. It definitely worked. The Aphrodite girl took a step back and looked at the ground: “I really did.”
Clarisse swallowed and gathered her thoughts as she analyzed Silena again. She was being honest, and she looked so small in the dark, behind the Aphrodite Cabin, Clarisse realised from their surroundings.
“What's wrong?”
Silena took a deep breath and looked her in the eye:
“My mother spoke to me.”
“She what ? Oh, great fucking time to show up after what she said.”
“She said there is going to be a quest.”
“Even better. She throws a new fucking prophecy around. The Gods got bored of not-”
“Clarisse, shut up.”
“No, I won’t. She has some nerve, they all fucking do. Someone had to create a new problem beca-”
“She said I have to take it and I want you to come with me.”
Clarisse frowned. There was… a lot to think over. Why was Silena making a big deal out of it, well, it kind of was, but not this bad.
“Okay…?”
“Clarisse, I know about ACU.”
“How the fuck do you know that ?”
Clarisse stared at her blankly. She didn't want Silena to know yet, or find out at all maybe. It was a conversation too hard to have and with too many feelings involved and Clarisse refused to throw herself into something of sorts.
“The acceptance letter came to Camp. I was helping Connor on mail duty.”
“You-”
“Clarisse.” Silena looked intensely at her. She went quiet, mesmerized: “Are you going to come with me on the quest? Mo- Aphrodite said the person I truly want to come with me must do it. But if you-”
“I’ll do it.”
“Clarisse-”
“I’ll do it, what part of that didn't you fucking get?”
Clarisse regretted her anger in an instant, but she didn’t apologize. She had a right to be mad at Silena hiding that from her, and from quite literally being dragged away from her future like this. Still, Clarisse look at the ground and did say something that was true:
“I would've joined it even if you never asked.”
If you go, I go.
--
Silena’s heart jolted in her chest. What Clarisse just said conveyed a lot more, she wasn't stupid. She could read in between the lines.
And, if Clarisse went with her on the quest or not, or if she decided to leave Camp instead, Silena couldn't miss this chance. Maybe the last.
She brought her hand up and gently lifted Clarisse’s chin up with her fingers. The Ares daughter stood in her place, unsure, as Silena took one step closer.
“Clarisse.” She said her name again, a question.
Clarisse looked her in the eye, not saying a single word. Her soft, searching gaze was enough. Silena felt a hand hesitantly rest on her arm, pulling her closer so shortly the tug almost wasn't there.
They were face to face, body to body, their breaths melding together. Clarisse wasn't moving away, and Silena leaned in to close the gap between them.
“What the fuck?! ”
The two girls jumped away from eachother, breaking out of the trance when an angry Thalia Grace continued to scream with pure rage in her voice from somewhere around Artemis’s Cabin:
“What the actual fuck?! This is mockery of the gods ! I’ll burn off every single one of your fucking hair extensions, you Aphrodite bra-”