Chapter Text
"You will not be taking anyone back to Midgard," Odin said darkly.
Tony, Stephen, and Wong just looked at each other. Everyone else was shocked when they moved. By the time anyone had done more than blindly react Heimdall was out cold. When the various parents looked they found Odin was being held at Tony's sword point. Thor was disarmed and trussed up on the ground next to Stephen exclaiming in shock. The guards that had arrived with the royal men were out cold on the ground from hits to the back of each of their heads through rapid cast portals. Something which left Wong still standing next to Heimdall's unconscious form.
"Yeah, we aren't willing to play nice if you aren't," Tony said conversationally.
"This is why I am willing to, as our son put it, play nice," Dormammu smirked with approval. "All three of them remember being a Dark Lord and my direct Peer at least once. Which is completely disregarding the times I tricked them into being one of my servants or my apprentice, something Wong dodged entirely despite the deals he did strike with me. You both asked me why I hadn't started killing those humans who annoyed me regardless of if they were students at Kamar-Taj or just a random one on the street. I think they just demonstrated my reasoning amply on top of how resistant they would be to work with me and accept the full truth of the adoption afterwards. We still have the magical portions to accomplish in any case even if the legal human requirements have been met."
"Your point is well made," Loki acknowledged with his lips unconsciously frowning in thought. "You were quite right in pointing out that I had not realized how much they were holding back in our spar. It would be a challenge to beat them but I did notice some flaws that one of us could have exploited, especially if we broke their Battle formation."
"They still have much to learn," the Ancient One agreed.
"I recognized that there are some adapted moves from other forms they know or developed. I am uncertain why some moves were even crafted," Frigga said thoughtfully. "They all know at least one common form and have worked together so often they have adapted into each other's forms. For all my skill in magic I am no battle master to truly understand what I know I am witnessing. Thor and Loki developed something similar although it is not as refined with how often they can clash as siblings."
"I like her," Dormammu smirked. "Think she will help with our Heirs?"
"As if I would leave them only to the three of you unless forced," Frigga said with mock disdain and a twinkle in her eye. "I raised Loki and they clearly have a similar skill in unintentional chaos. No, you will not keep my obviously exceptional grandchildren from me. Loki, I know you hid the apples you did not yet need. Please ensure that they each consume one."
"I forbid it!" Odin thundered, his face going purple in rage despite still being held at sword point.
"Uh, potential problem," Tony wince. "I have no idea how a golden apple, assuming that's what you were talking about, would interact with the likely side effects from how we received our memories from the other timelines or the eventual adoption magics. What I do know is that certain overpowered singularities hiding as rocks are incredibly jealous and might take offense to the implied claim."
"Magically shouldn't it simply merge with any existing extensions to our lifespans? Medically.... I don't know enough even with my Mastery and MD to take a guess at what might happen with one of them much less more than one," Stephen said honestly. "I know the amulet is probably going to pitch a fit if I eat one but that's all I can say for certain. If we do it relatively blind... I have no clue. I know that it was an option in some timelines and I have memories for afterwards but the events and complications around it actually happening are deliberately clouded."
"Jealous is definitely an understatement," Wong said mildly.
"Unfortunately, your lifespans will be forcibly extended at some point if you don't take the initiative," Frigga remarked. "It was one of things I foresaw most clearly."
"I get the feeling we have at least a few years before we have to even think about addressing that," Tony said with a snort of amusement. "It isn't an issue yet and we have more urgent things to deal with."
"Not that it matters once I have you drawing properly from the Dark Dimension," Dormammu smirked. "Something that I am going to be very insistent about in your fresh lessons we will be conducting."
"Odin has no idea who you and the Ancient One actually are, does he?" Stephen asked, tilting his head thoughtfully.
"We are acquainted," the Ancient One corrected. "We were friends until I refused to aid him in securing the host of the Phoenix Force of the time as his bride. Odin has been angry with me ever since despite what would have been disastrous consequences had I agreed and helped him at that time. There was an actual reason I asked you what you would do if he ordered Loki to act against you. He turned on me after all despite our originally strong friendship. Odin would hardly think it an issue to order one of his children to do the same so long as they remained loyal to him personally."
"That is fucked up," Tony scowled. "What about you, Daddy Dark Lord?"
"Oh I have no doubt that he is completely clueless as to my identity and reputation or he would have activated the wards over all of Asgard and tried to weaponize his famed bridge against me," Dormammu smirked. "Loki was rather startled at the information in the library at Kamar-Taj about me. Apparently, Asgard has not bothered investigating threats to the universe repelled by other realms and worlds. In the timelines I remember him becoming my apprentice or being driven to becoming my servant he found Kamar-Taj and heard of me through those same tomes."
"At this point I have given up trying to figure out why you are involved at all in any of this beyond the potential entertainment value," Stephen admitted with a sigh. "You could have secured us in other ways if you truly desired to have us for yourself and we all know it."
"Ah but playing along is both entertaining and you three put up far less resistance," Dormammu pointed out. "You never fully fit those other roles when you accepted them so we are trying one that you might fit better, family. I should be able to keep you longer than in the other roles."
"That is not how family works," Tony groaned in exasperation. He idly adjusted his sword positioning to keep Odin in place without killing him while potentially distracted.
"He doesn't have the same mental framework for most of what we value, Tony," Stephen reminded the inventor with a sigh. "We can work on getting him to understand it the way we consider it later. For now we should figure out what to do with Odin and Thor. The guards should be fine along with Heimdall, especially if we put Heimdall somewhere out of sight. However, I am not leaving Odin or Thor vulnerable where the Enchantress can stumble on them. Nevermind the other rebellious minded or discontent members of Asgard or potentially hostile visitors."
"We are not kidnapping them properly," Wong vetoed immediately before anyone could suggest it. "They threatened us and we took them seriously. End of discussion. Figure out where to dump them safely and I will open the portal."
"Do we care about humiliating them in the process?" Tony asked thoughtfully.
"Please don't," Loki grimaced. "Things are more precarious than you were probably lead to believe in the other timelines."
"I mean we could forcibly break the seal Odin is holding to let Hela back out as one of the less desirable options," Tony shrugged. "We could even do it in a way that gave Odin another fifty years before he needs the coma to recover his strength. She is his daughter and technically his oldest child. There are obviously problems with that but it is technically an option."
"The main problem with that is she usually slaughters most of Asgard for refusing her right to rule," Stephen agreed dryly. "Let's try something that doesn't waste lives if you please."
"Fine, fine, fine," Tony waved Stephen's commentary off. "Oh greatly picky healer, do you have a suggestion? 'Cuz I am coming up blank on anything that might actually be useful. I have bad ideas aplenty but nothing we might actually consider to use on someone who isn't an enemy we really want dead. I am also not in the mood to deal with his upset for anything publicly humiliating much less the potential war to sooth his wounded pride."
"Allow me to cast an illusion so that you may deposit them in private quarters," Frigga requested with a smirk. "Thor has yet to learn the lesson that you remember him being sent to Midgard for. Odin will not take kindly to any of this so it is perhaps best to leave him to rest in his quarters or in Thor's."
"Uh, that kinda gives us permanent access with our portals. I figured neither you nor your husband would appreciate the security breech," Tony said warily. "We just need somewhere that they can be safe until found by someone loyal. Giving us access to either one of their personal areas is just all around probably a bad idea."
"It matters not," Frigga said firmly. "You will gain access during the Convergence in any case. It is better that you learn what you need before the time comes so that you may act in defense of the Nine Realms effectively."
"Stupid foresight," Tony groaned. "Okay, fine. Can we still pick somewhere else? We can be shown the necessary areas before the stupid random portals show up along with those equally stupid Dark Elves later. Preferably when we are fairly sure no one is immediately trying to kill us just for being on Asgard."
Frigga chuckled and cast an illusion of one of the royal private gardens. Both Odin and Thor would be safe there and found quickly by loyal servants. Wong was quick to use the reference to send everyone unconscious along with Thor and Odin before closing the portals behind them.
"That was way too easy with too much potential to bite us later," Tony said thoughtfully. "Yeah, something is definitely easing the way, probably in preparation for something big coming. How much you want to bet that God the Father is stepping in for something?"
"No bet," Stephen sighed. "I can feel the echoes across the timelines remembered. The problem is that it's hidden in a way that practically screams protection in one hand and judgement on the other. I get the feeling that we are important but not at the center of this. Honestly, it feels like the Bible just walked off the pages. Echoes of direct intervention on both sides but more strongly on God's side to the tune of patience being gone and him being very angry but also furiously protective for his own. It... Think along the lines of the stars being snuffed out in entire waves in response to whatever upset the Creator."
"So, this is no longer an Infinity matter so much as an issue that existence itself is reacting to," Wong said thoughtfully.
"Yep," Stephen agreed.