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In life there were times when she thought the worst would happen, but Kazuma was always there.
Her pretty black hair, the dumb, red and long hachimaki tied around her forehead. That warm and loving smile that made Ryuu want to live another day, even if there was the impending doom ringing in her head about some utterly useless English exam coming up, just because Kazuma was there next to her. Or how her eyes were so pretty, and how they complemented her face.
Anything looks pretty on her, maybe white would too. Ryuu grinned, eyes soft. She let her hand slide down to her cheek, leaning into it.
When Kazuma looked at her, Ryuu thought she would fall to her knees and onto the ground. The thumping feeling in her chest just got worse when their hands brushed, or when their foreheads touched, or when Ryu was up late at night and Kazuma was asleep next to her on the kotatsu where they were studying, just because she decided to stay over.
She could fall to her knees when she heard Kazuma’s laugh. It felt like what home was like.
Well, it truly is entirely dumb when she thinks about it, she hasn’t ever had a crush on anyone. She isn’t sure what a crush is supposed to feel like or if she truly likes Kazuma in her whole, but she knows one thing: whatever that thumping feeling in her chest near her heart is- it feels nice.
She has had a crush on maybe one other person and it lasted a day. But with Kazuma she wants them both to stay together forever, childish as it sounds. How is a crush even supposed to feel? Are you supposed to think about the other person this much? Sure, Ryuu doesn’t really blush, but she wants their lips to press together and ever. Granted, the: ‘this much’ isn’t a lot, but it’s enough to the point that she can’t help herself but write stories and poems and notes in her notebook about Kazuma and herself and how they two would take time in their fingers and use it until there's no more of it left.
Anyone who would see Ryuu would call her dumb for not expressing her feelings to the girl, but what could she do.. she was just herself, with a crush on her friend. Or whatever this, all of this, is.
And sure, it wasn’t normal to like someone the same gender as you. But at some point, actually none of this was normal. It wasn’t even about if Ryuu even cared about the people who thought of her and about what they cared for, but maybe the important part was what she’d wear when she kissed Kazuma and said their vows. How she would greet Kazuma in the morning in their bed after a long night of sleep. If she can be happy with Kazuma, she doesn’t think she cares about anyone or anything else.
She wishes the universe herself would tell Ryuu if she’s doing the right thing or if she could tell her how a crush is supposed to go.. Even then, loving someone is nice.
God. Ryuu hasn’t ever really believed in soulmates, but if she would for just a second: maybe she and Kazuma are.
But for now, she thinks she’s alright with just looking at how Kazuma’s hair covers her eyes while she sleeps laid down on her arm, next to Ryuu in some English language classroom. She can get used to this.
Windows open, love, and all.