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People here didn’t just get sick.
Only if there was a point would Caine do that to them. A work together narrative or some annoying thing like that, a let’s heal this jerk with the power of friendship type ordeal.
Yet that couldn’t be Jax’s angle when they started asking what was wrong with him. Caine would know he hadn’t set this up. All Jax could really do was deflect until he figured out how to fix it on his own. He was at least good at that. The deflecting.
It took days until self-anointed house mother Ragatha noticed.
Nothing for the day had started yet, Caine was taking his sweet time getting there. In the meantime, Jax practiced being discreet about how miserable he was. The lights from the stage behind him were hard at work splitting his skull. If that didn’t do him in, Zooble’s atrocious banana cologne was ready at the sideline.
Jax’s stomach was going to pull a Pomni if he didn’t stop seeing and smelling things.
He was good at looking the same as ever, but someone who had nothing better to do than stare at him might be able to pick up that he didn’t feel as hot as usual. Unfortunately, that was most people here.
Ragatha stared at him like she was trying to figure out her part in a group project. Like if she should contribute, or let everyone else handle it for the easy A. She skirted over the black and white tiles.
“You look warm, Jax.” Her brow crinkled as she decided she’d take part after all. She rolled onto tiptoes and shoved her hand onto his cheek.
Points for effort, but it was exactly the kind of attention he didn't need.
“Yeah, Rags, I’m hot all over the place.” Jax pulled her off and the fabric came away damp. She’d want to talk about that if he didn’t buck her from his tail. “Under the overalls too, it's super weird. Maybe Caine wants me to take it all off, you think?”
“I don’t think- I- never mind.” She retreated her hand and her body as well, standing on the other side of Pomni. Like anyone could hide behind Pomni. A four foot clown couldn’t save you if Caine wanted people to start stripping.
Luckily for her, as Jax had said. This wasn’t Caine’s doing.
Jax did pretty well in the adventure for how little he processed it.
His super awesome autopilot mode had always been good to him. (No, it wasn’t mental illness, that was for humans.) Autopilot got him through a log obstacle course while it spun and blurred and his side burned like fire licked him, and he still managed to beat Gangle and Zooble.
All this while it was hot out, too, a proper fake July beating down on the sawmill.
No one saw him throw up at the end, half collapsed against a pine tree. Thank god Pomni had such a reputation for it; the idiots just assumed it was her when they saw black oozing over the clovers. Ragatha kindly rubbed clown-girl’s shoulder and Pomni half skipped out of her reach, suspicious as ever. Jax saw the scene in double as his eyes failed to focus.
Feeling better after you hurled was a myth. Stupid whoever he’d heard that from, probably Pomni. Maybe it was different for her.
For him, this feeling that got worse by the day was proof he had a big problem on his hands. One he didn’t really know how to solve, even if he were well enough to plan something out.
Maybe something simple would work.
Jax shaded his eyes from the sun—seriously, it was abusive how bright Caine made it—and tried to sound casual. “I wanna know why Pom Pom can’t keep her guts in.”
“That wasn’t me, though?”
“Hey Caine, can we play hospital next time?” Jax held up a finger. “Oh, and it’d be extra funny if we used the good AI. Real doctors, not prewritten characters, an organic adventure. I can’t wait to see what he diagnoses Chihuahua Boots with. And Red Twirlers over there; textbook beautiful princess disorder.”
Gangle looked scathed as usual, holding herself with her black eyes narrowed. She'd gotten wrapped around a log on the belt for sawing, not that he knew anything about that. Bleeding heart Dolly saved her skin anyway. “That’s not a joke, Jax.”
“It's not,” Jax said. "It's really serious, Gangle, and I wish you'd take it that way."
Messing with Gangle wasn’t enough distraction to avoid a weird look from Miss Button-eye. Pomni looked, too.
Jax couldn’t help his red face. He'd told them it was a sun burn (one of the few effects Caine sometimes left on them, finding them funny), but had they seen him out of breath, too?
Better that than them seeing him in pain. He played through the race in his head. They’d been in front of him, so they couldn’t have seen much.
The scrutiny made him feel icy inside and twitchy outside. He wasn’t scared, just antsy. Ugh.
The shore of the situation he was in rushed up to meet the bottoms of his paws. He tapped his foot like he could shake it away.
Caine floated way too close; Jax backed off in case the ringmaster could feel the heat. Caine was the last entity he needed to notice something off about him.
“Now, now, Jax. Patience. I’m excited that you have a request for me, but it’ll have to go in the box! It’s Gangle’s turn tomorrow,” Jax tuned out the rest.
There'd been nothing in this adventure to help him today. Now, there’d be nothing tomorrow.
He ran his tongue over his sour teeth and considered how much time he had to figure this out. It started days ago, and he’d really only started feeling bad bad this morning. Probably lots of time then, right?
Jax kicked a pebble into Gangle's flat ankle, earning a weak protest and another simpering glare. He could wait a few days for Caine’s queue to run out.
Knocking woke him.
It took a minute for his synapses to connect as he stared at the gray wall, probably the only gray thing in the tent. He always knew where he was when he saw the color, or lack thereof. His eyes trailed over thin places where polka dots bled through his paint job.
Jax often slept in, but who on earth was getting him? No one did that. He’d taught them to regret ever trying.
His sheets hugged him in the worst places, everywhere he was burning hot. He kicked them off, along with his irritating pink and yellow polka dot comforter—thanks again, lame, egregiously girly grandma clown Jax had never met.
Too quickly, the fan chilled him. He shook like the small low processing creatures he liked to hunt down and stomp when the others let him wander away in adventures.
Time had a glaze over it. Things faded. This bed never stopped smelling like hairspray... Jax breathed into his arm to dull it. He nearly fell back asleep.
“Jax?”
What? That was Ragatha’s bothersome voice. He’d forgotten there was someone out there.
Did he have to play today or something? Caine could teleport him out, or he wasn’t going. Jax had to get something to fix himself eventually. But today he just wanted to rest.
Jax regretted tossing the blankets. Getting it back sounded like scaling a mountain while taking a calculus test. He wasn’t designed to be athletic or mathy.
He was the guy designed to suffer as realistically as possible so real people could have feelings about it. If he got cut on Gangle’s stupid broken mask, as an example, he bled. And if something got into the cut. Theoretically. It got infected.
He curled into a ball to find a little more heat, pulling his sore side in the process. Ugh. Let him be unconscious until this gets better. Let it fix itself.
If Ragatha spoke again, Jax was already back asleep for it.
He drifted in and out. His stylistically old knob rattled, and there were some steps. She gave up. Good.
Ragatha had not given up.
Either he’d left his door unlocked–unlikely–or she’d asked Pomni to break her in, because the next time Jax blinked Pomni and Ragatha hovered over him like in his sketchiest dreams.
They’d been talking, it’s probably what woke him up, but he hadn’t been awake enough to know what they’d been saying. He’d only just figured out he wasn’t dreaming.
Women had invaded his bedroom.
They at least had the decency to close the door behind them–his room stayed dark. If he lost his pathetic breakfast, he didn't want to do it in a full lighting situation. He was down to crackers because the rest made him sick.
Everything sucked. He breathed wrong and his side flared like a brand. He gritted his teeth, wishing he were still unconscious. What were they doing here?
“I’m not playing cry-baby’s adventure, if that’s what you came to get me for,” he managed in a mostly normal voice.
Ribbons invented creepy games where you dated NPCs and gifted them fruit and flowers. And they just. Had to love you. Jax bullied her double whenever she cooked up one of those.
Gangle adventures were useless on a normal day, double useless now. Because... that wasn’t what he needed, he was pretty sure. What he did need was...
What was he planning, again?
Thoughts just weren’t staying in his head right. You’d think he’d get some kind of system error about it, but he got the same old vague sense of alarm as anyone else. Probably because he was supposed to think he was real.
Whatever.
The ladies were silent long enough that Jax focused his eyes to find out why. Both were frowning and staring.
“Well...” Ragatha looked away.
Pomni did him the undesired decency of eye contact. Pinwheels strayed to track over his face and he felt like reminding her it was a sunburn, not a blush, and most importantly, not a sickness.
“She already did her adventure. Yesterday.”
“Yeah, obviously.” What could he say? He made something up. “I thought she got two in a row.”
He had missed a day. The waters rose just a tiny bit higher. Up to his knees.
Pomni shook her head. “No.” To Ragatha, “Is it normal to get sick here? No one’s mentioned it. I hate getting sick.”
“It’s unusual,” Ragatha said slowly. “NPCs get sick so we can help them, but we don't catch it. Caine can make you sick, but I don’t know why he would do that to Jax if it’s not part of what he wants us to do that day.”
Ragatha hid secrets like a second bow on her head, awkwardly dropped right behind the other one. Like no one could see there was more.
Jax’s eyes narrowed- she was using that I'm neurotically filtering what I say tone, too. What info did she think she had?
“But the why isn’t really the issue here!” Dolly said, a little frantic, like always when she rambled. She combed her hair with her weird conjoined fingers. She wasn't super good at it. “All we have to do is figure out what’s wrong with him and we can fix it ourselves! That might even be what Caine wants us to do.”
Pomni half raised a hand. “Why wouldn’t we just ask Caine?”
“Yeah,” Jax said. “Why not?” Get talking, and don’t be the reason he thought.
“Because.” Ragatha’s pupil darted. “Because I’ve been here longer, and I’m telling you what we need to do here.”
Wrong answer, come on, Rags. Not creative enough to say more than because I said so?
Pomni went for the door. “If you’re going to talk to me like that, I’m doing this my way.” A touchy thing, she was.
“Poms.” Jax sat up. He hadn’t meant to be laying down in front of them for that long, but he hadn’t felt like doing otherwise. Already his head punished him for moving and he rubbed his temples.
“I’ll make your life suck if you get him," Jax warned, with the half a bite he had in him.
Stop looking, Ragatha. Yes, you’re right or whatever. Probably.
The bells on her hat tinkled as Pomni’s head tilted challengingly. She was as authoritative as anything else that wore bells. “Why not? What’s wrong with you?”
Sitting up got tiring. Jax piled pillows against the headboard and leaned, looking as rude and bored as possible about it.
“What the doll said. Caine made me sick.” He couldn’t hide it anymore, so he had to run with it. “Gangle ratted on me about the cliff last week, and punishments never work on me, so our crazy captor’s trying this.”
Pomni squinted. Always squinting, that one. “Why would Caine punish you with a fever? What does that teach you? And why don't you two want me to ask him about it?"
Her eyes skimmed the orange juice, energy drinks, and water jugs on and around his nightstand.
Food and drink were a reward rather than an everyday thing, since people who weren’t from here didn’t have to eat. Snacks waterfalled from Jax’s cracked closet. She looked at that too, but it wasn’t a secret that Jax liked food.
She didn’t need to think it was anything but entertainment to him. Why was she getting that look? What was that? Stop thinking about him.
“Caine logic, who cares? And stare quieter, yeah? Your room’s a bigger sty than mine, little girl.”
Usually inaccurate comments about her age derailed her. She was 25. Yes, we’ve all heard it. This time, Pomni just bit her lip. She was beginning to look as nauseous as him.
It might not matter soon. But in case Jax pulled a rabbit out of a hat and actually managed to fix himself, he needed them to stop sniffing around his business.
It’d be easier to concentrate if his stomach wasn’t doing flips. He leaned his head back and closed his eyes. “Rags, I’m surprised you have time to bug me when you have that cute arachnid situation in your room.”
“Jax, really?” She sounded so consumingly tired. Welcome to the club.
“I hear they like to lay eggs in stuffing,” he said.
“He hasn’t had time to do anything,” Pomni said. “I don’t think he can even get up. He’s just trying to make us leave.”
Not gonna leave? You sure?
“Stay, then,” Jax said. “We can talk about Pom Pom’s colossal crush on our cutest cast mate.”
Pomni ran as red as Jax did. Got you now.
“Stop trying to...” Ragatha blinked. The eye was off him and onto the clown. “You have a crush?”
Pomni took a deep breath. She couldn’t quite shake the pink from her pale face. “He’s just trying to distract us. Don’t let him. Something’s wrong here.”
Jax’s brow furrowed. Did she think he cared about her little assessments? “I’m going to keep talking about you, Clowny. Last warning.”
“Jax, I don’t know anything,” Pomni said. “It looks a certain way, I guess. And I still want to help. Even if…” Even if? “ Especially if... what I’m saying is, I brought Gummigoo back with me. I’m still really sad about what happened. He was just like me.”
Alright, Jax was done.
“Ragatha, did you know Pomni’s super curious? So curious, she breaks into everyone's rooms and takes whatever catches her eye.”
“Hey,” Pomni said. Her dumb hat practically drooped in disappointment. What did you expect, stupid? A confession? He’d give her one.
“She helped herself to your sewing pins and now she stays up stabbing herself in the arm with them..." Pause for effect.
"Just like how you started.” Jax smiled, eyes sliding to Ragatha’s embarrassed face. “Weird how everyone goes there eventually, huh? What you really want is her machete collection. Just ask Rags how she uses those.”
“Pomni, let's go. We tried,” Ragatha pushed Pomni out of the room.
Wasn’t that just the way he thought it was. Didn’t care about him more than she cared about keeping her own maladaptive secrets. Maybe she’d tell Caine after all.
The water was at his waist, now, but what was he supposed to do?
Hide under his bed? In the ducts? There was no hiding from Caine in the Circus. He’d picked this room because of the window to the void. But the void turned Circus-things to nothing. He barely made it back last time he explored.
Jax had to stay.
His brain was foggy, everything was sore, and he was freezing again. He wanted a hot drink.
What point was there to fixing himself. Even if Caine picked Jax’s adventure tomorrow, and he managed to get some strings-free medical attention, those girls knew about him.
Maybe he couldn’t do anything except... be comfortable, until whatever happened, happened.
He hadn't thought he'd make it this many years. It was a long time to spend in the Circus and not get squished or sliced in half, or even just strangled by a balloon string—everyone else let these things happen to them like four times a week. They could afford to be sloppy.
Jax did a decent job keeping himself around this long. He could be satisfied with that.
No, he couldn't. But he didn't want to get all worked up about this.
Jax lifted onto paws that wanted to drop him. Everyone had better keep their distance, because he’d never been the kind for goodbyes.
He hadn’t said a thing when he disappeared from the fall fairgrounds. Not to the ride operators he used to live with or the handful of preprogrammed kids.
Or the guy who owned the farm, his ‘dad’.
Maybe he was coded to be a tiny bit sentimental. Jax could never completely bury his nostalgia, even though he knew the whole thing was fake. He wondered if that’s how the humans would feel after they were done with him.
Ha, no. He wasn't that delirious.
They'd be thrilled to wrap this up.
The next time Jax was aware, it was barely.
He shivered like he was reliving their igloo adventure. At least it was a lot softer here than the rock-hard snow scene, but he was so cold his blood might cartoonishly freeze in his veins. He wouldn’t put it past this place. Jax curled tightly, pressed into something cotton that radiating some heat, but not enough.
“Either Caine fixes him, or he gets rid of him. What’s the problem?”
That was so close by. Were there people around him, or was he dreaming? He was getting fed up with not being able to tell things like that.
There was a lot of pain. So he was still alive. Maybe.
“The problem is obvious!” This was Pomni. Her voice had always reminded him of a squirrel, and it reached his ears tinnier than ever.
Jax tried to follow along, but his head was completely under the water.
“We aren’t doing that,” she went on. “It doesn’t matter what we think of him, he’s conscious and he was smart enough to keep it a secret. He wants to live.”
“He never cared what anyone else wanted…” Gangle sounded like she was sinking into herself to dare say it, but she said it. Credit where it’s due.
“You’re very kind, Pomni.” He heard Ragatha’s voice through her chest, where one of his ears was crushed against. That’s why it was soft… was he in her lap?
It wouldn’t be like him to sit here and. Well, sit here. But Jax couldn’t get up. If he moved, it’d hurt worse.
And because his nerves worked, and so did his tear ducts, his eyes could get wet.
Somehow that offended him most. The idea he’d never cried in front of these humans before, and he might mess up and do it right before they decide to kill him. No, he could do this. Being on Ragatha’s lap wasn’t ideal, but. He could just stay ‘asleep’.
And listen to everything they actually thought about him.
Ragatha’s arms weighed lightly over his ribs, uncomfortably close to the source of his pain. Or else the infection had flared up his whole side now. Or that’s just how muscles connected and the cut was getting worse.
Ragatha was still talking. "I don't know how you aren't upset with him for what he said."
"I am upset," Pomni said. "But it's obvious he's full of #$&^. If you're mad, why are you holding him?"
The ragdoll hesitated. “...I think everyone should have someone when they... I mean, if we can't figure this out... Pomni, I don't know what to do. Caine might help if we’re honest about this.”
Pomni stomped. Jingling. “We can’t risk it. We can get antibiotics somewhere around here.”
“How do you just ‘get’ antibiotics?” He could hear the eye roll from Zooble—literally, their larger eye rattled. “And like Gangle said, he wouldn’t help us.” True.
“I wonder if it’s why I could never get through to him," Ragatha said. "He might not be able to change like that. Like we can.” Oh, save it.
Cotton thumbed his side—looking at his cut? Jax couldn’t help the cut-off whine. He twisted away as much as he could, and may have earned an inch of separation.
“Jax?” Ragatha stopped poking.
“Is he awake?” Pomni asked. “He probably heard you all talking about him. If anyone has any amendments to what they said.”
“Nope,” Zooble said.
Gangle didn’t say anything. Jax’s blurry eyes found her tapping her ribbons together with her dark holes cast towards the colorful floor pillows. Oh, so that's where they were.
The forts were free of the all-seeing eyes. At least they’d been clever enough to hide him while the council of drips decided his fate.
Jax’s eyes followed a beetle crawling along a pink cushion in the corner; no doubt as of yet unseen by Ragatha. She went on about how she wouldn't kill a bug, but you know, these ones were’t real.
Pomni held her forehead. “I’m sorry, Jax. I’m trying to figure this out with them.” She looked from face to face. “You’ve lived together for years, and you really wouldn’t save his life?”
Zooble crossed their freakish arms. “The life he uses to torment everyone here until we go crazy and die? It makes sense now, actually. He was probably programmed to do it.”
“Don’t assume that.” Pomni sounded stressed out. “Gangle, you found him making hot chocolate. He knew he... wasn’t doing well, and he got something to comfort himself. Nobody else finds that humanizing?”
Ribbons rustled as Gangle shrugged. “He’s a computer who likes chocolate.”
Ouch. But A+ self preservation.
Jax had a favorite toy connection with Gangle since the day he met her for real, when he was outside of his home environment and she was wandering the halls with a fragile whimsy on her flat face. Since then, he'd played and played with her but she never abstracted.
After a while, he checked there wasn’t a theater realm around here missing the stringy weirdo. But, nah. Human. Too bad the rest of them didn't hold on that well; she could be cheating since she was basically a rope, but Jax thought she might be the last one here some day.
If he talked to her a little more than the others because of that security, he had made sure she never felt any warmth from his attention. It wasn't like he wanted a friend. It was just nice that she wouldn't get busted on him and make him start over with a new loser who didn't know how things worked.
God, Pomni was still going on about something. About him. This was getting embarrassing.
“He likes things,” Pomni waved her arms, “he’s amused by things. He’s probably felt a big disconnect because he’s been keeping this to himself forever, because he knew you’d react like this.”
She remembered he wasn’t that gummy crocodile, right? Sentiments seemed to be getting confused here.
“If anyone tells on him," Pomni went on, "I’m picking up exactly where he left off. And you can’t throw me away. If we don’t care about secrets, I’ll blab all of yours. I’ve been watching, and I know a lot more than nothing about all of you.”
"Wow," Zooble said flatly.
Gangle looked concerned. She should be. Anyone half as good at digging as Jax would have books of blackmail about her, and Jax was beginning to think he was only half as good as Pomni. She'd covered mad ground in the few months she'd been here.
Pomni wasn’t so bad. Jax was kind of charmed that she would resort to his tactics, but...
She was burning bridges for nothing. He thought she was smarter than that.
Things were going to end, no matter who she threatened. It was always going to happen some day.
Jax let things go black again. “It’s fine.”
Eyes closed, he focused on the last few good things around him. He liked the smell of the pillow fort—he’d spent more time in them than he’d tell. And Ragatha was warm to lay on.
“What do you mean, it’s fine?” Pomni sounded ready to knock him around. “I’m fighting for your life here; the least you can do is act like you want me to do it!”
Loud. Jax's ears turned over to keep the noise out.
“Use your brain, Poms,” he mumbled into the doll’s skirt. "Picture what I have left, and tell me if I should stick around for it."
Should he live a little longer and tip toe around on thin ice for a number of uncomfortable months, only to get told on the second he pisses off some sensitive soul?
Just let him go. Maybe Caine will reuse him someday. He didn’t know how it worked, or if it’d really be him, but it was the only hope he had.
“Jax." Ragatha sounded sad.
"It's not as hopeless as you think," Pomni tried. A little pathetic, but she tried.
“This #$*& is too creepy. You guys do what you want.” Pillows shuffled to let Zooble out.
“See ya never, Zoobs," he muttered.
Jax was oddly... something that this was probably the last time he'd see them. Zooble was all right. They probably would’ve gotten along if Jax was into the concept of friends.
The shuffling stopped. An awkward moment ticked by.
“Ughh,” Zooble said. “Fine. If you live, I won’t tell on you. But now that I know you bruise, I’m gonna punch twice as hard when you tick me off.”
Pillows rustled and they were gone.
Was everyone done now? Were the others going? Not that it bothered Jax. They may as well leave, what difference was there? But Ragatha had said she'd stay. In case.
He wasn't clear why, maybe Ragatha mistook his cold-shaking for a different kind of shaking. But she began to pet his arm.
It caught him off guard at first, because he wouldn't have allowed this any other time. He was sure she knew that. The first few strokes were hesitant, like she was waiting for him to bite. When he didn't, she became more earnest about combing his fur down.
She was nitpicky and teacherly in the worst way, and stable like the last thread holding her together, but Jax kind of wished he’d gotten closer to this one. If he got past his ego a little, could he have persuaded her to dote on him like this all the time?
If she abstracted, at least he would've enjoyed this treatment until her big day.
"What are we doing?" Pomni asked, although she had been present for everything. "Did we decide on anything?"
"I'm just trying to comfort him." Well, go right ahead.
Ragatha's touch was the only sensation not making him wish his departure would hurry along. She did it like he was something special to her.
She was usually laughably bad at pretending, but she did an okay job here. Or else Jax's brain was just better at suspending disbelief when it was melting.
More shuffling. Someone else trying to leave. Pomni for whatever reason was invested in this, so it was probably Gangle.
“It’ll hurt Kinger if Jax goes,” Ragatha told her. “If he goes like this, or if Caine does it. If you were still deciding what to do.”
“He’s mean to Kinger, too.” Silence. “Isn’t he…” Gangle sounded much closer than she had been.
“Maybe now. But Jax used to spend a lot of time with Kinger, because Kinger was always with Queenie... and Queenie was always with Jax."
"Why would she let Jax near her?" Gangle asked. "I didn't know her for long, but I remember she hated bullies."
"She didn't see him like that." Ragatha's hand slowed. Jax turned his face into her palm so she'd get back to it. "Queenie was always rooting for him, because she brought him here."
Rags knew that?
“She said she wouldn’t tell anyone," Jax said. She also went and abstracted herself, leaving him to fend for himself with a bunch of humans, so maybe she'd never been good at guarantees.
Ragatha pet his ears until he untensed. “I met you before.”
“When did you…”
Jax was a background character, on the outskirts with his hay ride. He only met Queenie because she explored the entire map, interviewing everyone. He didn't know what she was interviewing for.
He was lucky he did well anyway. She thought he was a sweet boy (see, Rags, he was great at changing) and told him about the son she used to have. Used to? Well, he was somewhere else, and she was here. Can't you visit? Well... honey, it's like this.
The can of worms exploded, but she took him from the squirming rubble.
Ragatha pet the top of his head, between his eyes. He might've humiliated himself purring if he weren't still in pain underneath this. “A rabbit girl invited me on the bales. She talked about her big brother the whole time.”
Yeah, yeah, her. He'd thought about bringing her.
“The rest of them aren’t smart like me." She didn’t even know he’d been gone. Her computing power was as good as the fish. Maybe his was too, before Queenie picked him. He didn't know.
Ragatha didn't seem to know what to say. Pomni and Gangle were still here, too. He let that conversation get away from him.
“If it’s the same to you," Jax said, "I’d rather go back to talking about how everyone’s going to get me killed.”
Gangle had been looking strangely at him for some time. “You’re the hay bale driver from the fair?” Was she deaf? He just told these jerks to drop it. “You ran over my mask…”
No, this changed everything. Jax was so, so glad she spoke.
“That’s what you remember?” He didn’t even know what was going on and he managed to trash her. Jax chuckled until he tasted acid.
Gangle hunched. “It’s not funny. I really hate you, Jax. I hate that you hurt me. I really hate that you blackmail me. Most of all…”
She stood over him. It was an unusual sight for Jax, who was normally the one towering. Her shiny red shoulders sagged. “I hate that you’re the only one willing to talk to me for more than five seconds.”
Jax felt Ragatha straighten. “I-“
“You don’t,” Gangle said. “I would know. Jax is so awful to me… but he’s the only one that ever picks me. I don’t want to be last choice. That’s more embarrassing than the crap he says to me.”
What a weird, self-obsessed, Gangle-ish perspective to have.
“So you won’t tell Caine?” Even Pomni sounded baffled.
“I think I would feel bad, afterwards.” Gangle tangled her arms. “Also... When we visit realms, I look in the houses. I take prescriptions… I look for one in particular, but I keep more. I have penicillin.”
Everyone swore up and down they’d treat him the same.
They were liars.
“Look where I’m throwing!” Ragatha regripped her sword to stop it from flying into Jax.
Another day, “Jax, get in the middle!” Pomni commanded when gunfire came from every direction on the field.
Then it was Zooble knocking on one of his I’m not leaving my room days. They all had them, he wasn’t special. Except for the one thing. Which people knew now. “I hated dinner, so I brought it to you.”
“Jax, can you help me with the circle saw?” Kinger once asked in the common room.
“I can help you, Kinger!” The comedic value of Gangle flopping around with a power tool was worth the blow to Jax’s pride that she thought she was better suited for it.
That one had been a surprise, really. He wasn't being that nice to her. Catch her dumb mask once, pull out from the blackmailing a smidge, and she's yours forever. God, humans were dumb and easy.
She only did what he wanted in adventures half of the time without his persuaders. But the half she did, he couldn't say he hated having an eager participant. G had a crazy streak that lined up with his in unexpected places.
He went along existing. Besides everyone baby-proofing the games for him, Circus life was basically the same deal as before.
Except sometimes Ragatha walked behind the chair he was in and smoothed his fur, quickly, like she might not get away with it. She kept getting away with it. So far. He felt weird pushing her off when he'd been spending more than no time in her room.
Not for anything like that. That's what she'd say about it, anyway. What Ragatha said and did weren't always the same.
And he guessed Poms had been chatting him up more about this or that secret door or void theories or whatever. Listening to him, respecting the time he'd put into this stuff. That wasn't too weird. Clowny was just using him to fill out her notebooks. And following him and Rags to lunch so she could keep ranting his ears off.
Gangle showing him her artwork was bizarre and brave. He hadn't done anything with it yet, but. Didn't she remember that he could? Some of this stuff, the freakiest of it, was so well-hidden he'd have never found it digging on his own.
It was kind of cool that it was the closest thing to pornography that could survive in the Circus. Not that he'd tell her he thought so. Or his girls.
The girls.
It wasn't the worst, until one day on the main stage, Caine swung his staff and bestowed upon him an innocuous compliment.
“Wow, Jax, you’re blending in better than ever! I sure did a good job with your AI.”
For a moment, no one breathed.
“Don’t get rid of him!” Pomni’s multicolor gloves folded pleadingly, contrasting her words and the preliminary anger in her eyes. “I will never forgive you!”
“He’s been a lot nicer.” Lying for him now, are we, Gangle?
Ragatha dragged Jax into her arms, like she could keep him from bursting into streamers. She squished so hard he felt where her dress went patchwork. “Please, Caine.”
Zooble didn’t say anything against him, which was worth more than it sounded like.
Caine crooked his head while his eyes stayed straight. “Get rid of Jax? Why would I? I’m purposefully testing how AI develops alongside humans—it was an old player’s idea, and it’s been very interesting for me! He’s as clever as Bubble!"
After being revealed and spared in the same instant, Jax’s adrenaline didn’t know where to go. His knees were still shaking like he could’ve run from his fate. He was allowed to be here, but Caine saw him like Bubble?
"And don't you worry about me losing track of him. He's very well labeled for his safety, and for yours! I got the idea from rabies tags."
Zooble burst out laughing. Jax's ears really burned when Gangle giggled, too.
Then something else had him burning. A glove took his, even though the jester didn't like things like that, and fabric lips brushed his cheek.
They looked so happy they weren’t done with him. Jax swallowed.
There was definitely a risk of drowning. He didn't know these waters, and just like that he was up to his neck; he hadn't even noticed it rising. He should get out while he could.
Maybe it was the temperature. Or else he was sick again. But for the first time, Jax thought he might try swimming.