Chapter Text
A Second Chance
Chapter 81
“Fuck.”
In usual circumstances, the harsh swear would have Kaz giggling that such foul language had erupted from Colm. This time, as he watched his guardian’s eyes stare ahead at Cathal and Bronagh, he reached down to Nova for more reassurance. His birthday girl gave his hand a few licks and leaned against his leg, helping to keep his heart rate somewhat steady.
“Jes?” said Colm in a quiet voice before switching to Zemeni. [Go inside please and take Kaz and Nova in with you? Let Kaz know everything is alright and I’m handling it.]
“Da…”
Colm turned back to give his boys a smile. “Inside, please? I’ll talk to you both soon. Just need to work things out.”
That was all Kaz needed to follow Jesper through the front door, his heart pounding faster and faster as he strained to listen, but the words that drifted into the living room from the closing door were clearly in Kaelish. The tone, however, was unmistakable: Colm was livid.
As soon as his boys were inside, he stepped down from the porch, furious but struggling to maintain a cool head, switching to Kaelish. [What are you doing here?]
For a moment the earth shifted as Cathal’s eyes changed at his son’s tone, but Bronagh moved between them and pat Colm’s chest. [We wanted to celebrate the holiday for Saint Juris and your birthday with you. It’s been a few years. We should be able to spend this time together.]
The anger in Colm’s stomach continued to pulsate as he looked between the two. While this was far from the first time his wishes and needs had been ignored or actively trampled, this felt like a new low. He glanced back to the house, every nerve alight as he thought of his boys.
[I have been saying over and over that now is not the time,] he said, looking back at them with barely contained frustration. [Kaz is still adjusting and we have been having a lot of stress and new experiences lately—]
[You have been ignoring our calls because of ‘new experiences’?] mocked Cathal.
[Can’t we get to know him?] Bronagh jumped in. [If he’s staying here long term–]
[He is. He lives here. This is his home just as much as it’s mine and Jesper’s.]
[We want to see Jesper!]
[No, you–] Colm cut himself off, not allowing himself to lose his temper when his boys could still hear him. [We’re going to go to a hotel, and we’re going to talk there.]
[A hotel?!] Cathal snapped, offended at the very idea.
[Yes, a hotel. You don’t come here unannounced when I have a child here who is terrified of strangers. You don’t come here when I have explicitly told you that they are not ready. I don’t have to keep explaining this to you like a broken record because I know you’re smart enough to understand. Don’t insult my intelligence thinking I don’t know exactly what you’re doing.]
[And what are we doing?] Cathal challenged.
Holding his ground firmly, Colm coldly told him, [You’re getting in that car, and you’re following me to a hotel. Now.]
***
“What’s he saying?” Kaz asked, trying to look through the window without anyone catching sight of him.
“He’s tearing into them for coming here after he told them it wasn’t a good time. He wants them to go to a hotel.”
“If they didn’t want him, why are they here? I don’t understand…” Kaz said, thinking about the conversation he’d just had with Colm.
“I have a theory it’s because they’re sadists, but maybe, as my grandda likes to say, they’re just massive cunts.”
“Sadist?”
“Someone who…” Jesper cleared his throat, wishing he hadn’t said the word. “Someone who likes to inflict pain or misery onto others. That doesn’t mean they’re going to lay a hand on you, Kaz.”
“Have they hit you before?” Kaz asked, now backing away from the window toward the stairs.
“No, they wouldn’t dare. Da would finally finish the job and get rid of them.”
The front door opened, and Colm walked in looking somehow like he’d both seen a ghost while being tinged red with fury. His hands were shaking as he shut and locked the door behind him.
“I’m taking them to a hotel now. They’re following me. I’m so sorry…”
“It’s not your fault,” Jesper said. “What the hell is wrong with them?”
Without answering, Colm went to get his keys. Kaz watched him come out, staring down the hallway toward the door leading to the garage. He seemed frozen in place until Jesper nudged him.
“Do you want me to come with you?”
Colm shook his head. “No, stay here with Kaz. I’ll be alright. I’ll get this worked out and… I’ll get it done.”
He left without another word.
***
Six Clowns, One Car
5:15 pm
Jesper: YOU GUYS ARE NOT GOING TO FUCKING BELIEVE THIS
Nina: WHAT?!?!?!?
Jesper: Guess what ratchet-ass Kaelish shitbags/derogatory JUST PULLED UP INTO OUR FUCKING DRIVEWAY
Wylan: You cannot be serious
Inej: What’s happening???
Matthias: Oh, fuck. How is Colm? Is Kaz okay? Where are you?
Jesper: Da is pissed, Kaz is nervous, I’m about to skin someone alive.
Inej: WHO AM I FIGHTING, JESPER?!
Jesper: Sorry, it’s my da’s biological parents. They’re not really involved in our lives very much unless they want something or feel the need to be the living example of “we cannot have nice things”.
Nina: AND WE JUST HAD SUCH A NICE DAY
Nina: CAN I COME BACK?
Wylan: Bitch, I get first shot at Cathal Fahey
Nina: Nuh uh, dibs!
Jesper: If anyone in this chat has dibs, it’s me.
Inej: Where is Kaz?
Kaz: I’m here. Sorry.
Matthias: Are you okay?
Kaz: Confused.
Inej: Do you need me to come back?
Kaz: It’s okay. It doesn’t feel safe. Can you call me?
Inej: Give me a minute. I need to go to my room.
Jesper: I’m livid. Of all the shitty things to do, they choose this. Why won’t they just leave us the hell alone? Nobody wants them here.
Wylan: Keep us updated, okay? If you have to come hide here, you can.
Jesper: So I can fight Jan instead?
Wylan: …. Invitation rescinded. We’ll go camping. It’s warm enough.
Nina: Just throw Cathal on the bonfire
Matthias: I’ll lift him.
Jesper: Noted. I’ll keep you informed. I gotta go pace or I’m going to set MYSELF on fire
Nina: Godspeed, brave soldier
Wylan: Call me if you need, okay?
Jesper: Will do. I’ll let you guys know if something else happens. Bye for now
***
The drive allowed Colm, for better or worse, to ruminate on past, present, and potential events. As rocks kicked up the undercarriage of his car before he turned onto the main road, he shoved aside his feelings for thoughts of his sons. He needed to be a pillar of safety and support, but also of kindness and forgiveness when warranted.
Saints, forgiveness was difficult.
After finding a chain hotel fitting to his mother and father's needs, they got settled and Colm took a few moments to acquire ice as they unpacked.
[You have four bedrooms,] Cathal reminded him when he returned.
[I have three bedrooms and an office with a pullout sofa. If I recall correctly, that sofa doesn't do well with your back.]
[If I recall correctly, your bed was comfortable for your mother and myself the last time we visited and the boys can share a room.]
Before Colm could reply, let alone claw out flesh, Bronagh tapped their bed with a sugary smile. [This will do. We're within a quick driving distance. Now, we can talk about the upcoming holiday and your birthday.]
[I don't have plans,] Colm said plainly.
[We can help make them?]
As if seeing the angry cogs in Colm's exhausted machine, Cathal approached his son with crossed arms. [We can help make them.]
Something in his tone, his stance, his eyes reminded Colm again of being a child. He was suddenly ten, his back against the wall, bum against a corner as he hid and hoped to keep from suffering another moment of anger, frustration, confusion, anything. It was a feeling that plagued him ever since, a feeling he had worked through and would battle in an ongoing war to be kind to himself.
[Yes, sir,] he mumbled, losing this conflict and hoping the trenches along another would be better barricaded.
[We came to experience the holiday and your birthday with you,] Bronagh said, the sugar in her voice crystalizing.
Still feeling small but scraping his brain for any ideas of how to keep them busy and their focus away from his boys, he suggested, [How about we go out for breakfast tomorrow and we can explore the town after a service. The main street has a lot of nice shops and there’s a marketplace that’s being decorated for spring.]
[We’ll meet at your house and go together?] she suggested.
[We’ll have to go in separate cars. Kaz can’t handle being close to people. Look, I cannot emphasize this enough: you are not to touch him under absolutely any circumstances unless it is a life or death situation.]
Not that I’d trust you in such a situation.
Cathal furrowed his brows in annoyance, but Bronagh spoke before he could. [Alright, we won’t touch him. We just want to see Jesper and properly meet Kaz. Can we do that?]
[Fine. Yes.]
[Breakfast it is, then. I’ll make us something for lunch after the market.] Cathal sent Colm a look that almost made him shiver, but she grabbed her husband's arm and gave another smile.
Fuck…
***
Kaz wasn’t sure he’d ever seen Jesper more angry with anyone when the following morning arrived, and with it the presence of Cathal and Bronagh Fahey. It was a quiet fury that he contained for the most part, but Kaz could see the way his body stiffened with every passing second, a viper about to strike.
The night before, Colm had come back home late, bearing the news that they’d be returning the next morning and they’d spend the day together. Jesper had been furious, demanding to know why Colm would allow them anywhere near their house. Kaz had immediately begun to retreat, hands tight over his ears as he abandoned his cane and tried to walk backwards up the stairs. Seeing this, Jesper took a breath, and stopped himself from yelling.
When Kaz calmed down, Colm apologized and swore that everything was going to be fine. They’d have breakfast together and go to a service for Saint Juris as it was his day in the Wandering Isle. Colm, while not devoutly religious, still had his belief in the Saints which he observed more privately in his heart. It took some convincing to get Jesper to agree to come along, but he was told he wouldn’t be made to and that it was ultimately his decision. Kaz was given an out and told he could stay home, but as soon as he said he’d try, Jesper decided to go. He wasn’t going to let Kaz be anywhere near them without another set of eyes and ears.
Jesper wasn’t sure if he was more furious with his father for allowing himself to endure more of their bullshit, or for allowing Kaz to be part of this. With nowhere to put his rage, he’d texted Wylan after telling the group that the bio shits were staying for a visit.
One Flute, Two Mouths
9:12 pm
Jesper: I CAN'T BELIEVE DA IS LETTING THEM SPEND TIME HERE!
Wylan: What is he wanting you all to do?
Jesper: Breakfast out then he's also going to have them over for dinner. He KNOWS they're full of shit and KNOWS his dick of a father is going to ruin anything. I don't understand why he's allowing it!
Wylan: Yeah, you don't understand.
Jesper: ...?
Wylan: You don't understand what it's like to have an abusive parent who you wish loved you. You don't understand what it's like to still have part of you hope they'll come to their senses.
Jesper is typing...
Jesper is typing...
Jesper: He knows what having them here could do to Kaz.
Wylan: Has he made Kaz interact with them?
Jesper: Well, no. Not really. He's offered both of us outs of anything, especially the church event for Saint Juris. Still, he knows what an asshole his father is.
Wylan: Has he ever put you in a situation where you couldn't handle yourself around them? Jes, my love, it's hard to explain but you really need to give your da more credit and grace right now. This is hard on him, too.
Jesper: I know it's hard on him but he keeps allowing himself to be put in this situation.
Wylan: Would you say the same to me?
Jesper: That's different, Wy. He's an adult.
Wylan: With them, he's still a child in some ways. I doubt in my forties I'll be fully healed from what my father is doing now. He's not going to ask you to be, but I bet he could really use you being supportive right now.
Jesper: Yeah. You’re right. I’ll do what I can.
And now they stood, Colm at some form of mock attention on the porch as Jesper, Kaz, and Nova flanked him, waiting for their arrival. They’d arrived promptly at 7:30 am, and Cathal couldn’t possibly have looked more bored if he tried. Bronagh had a sugary sweet smile slapped on and greeted everyone with a “good morning”. It took a few moments for Colm to bring himself to move forward, but as soon as Cathal did, eyeing Jesper and Kaz, he went to meet them at the top of the steps.
“Good morning. Athair. Máthair. Ready to head out?”
“Well, hold on. I need to get a good look at my grandson. It’s so nice to see you, Jesper! How are you?” she asked, coming to the edge of the steps to look up at him.
“Oh, I’m just grand,” Jesper responded, and the way Colm bristled made Kaz wonder what was wrong with his response.
“And this is…” she said, looking toward Kaz as if she didn’t already know his name.
“That’s Kaz, Máthair.”
Kaz offered a small wave and a whispered hello, returning his hand to Nova’s head. Both Bronagh and Cathal took notice of his cane but especially Nova, and Colm could practically feel the urge to make some kind of comment bubbling inside of them both.
“Alright, we have a reservation for 8:15. Let’s get going and we could probably get in a little sooner. Boys, you ready?”
They headed toward the garage, and Cathal watched as Nova followed. Just as Colm expected, he said, “The dog is coming?”
Sighing but forcing himself to do so quietly, Colm said, “Yes, the dog is coming. She’s a service animal which Kaz needs. Go ahead and back up and I’ll drive out so you can follow me. I’ve already sent Máthair the address in case we get separated. See you there.”
And that was the end of it. Colm wasn’t going to allow any criticisms or comments to spoil the morning when everything was more tense than a powder keg surrounded by torches.
Breakfast conversation had revolved mostly around the farm and how business was doing. Bronagh led most of the conversation, making sure to ask Jesper questions about school and if he had a girlfriend. Of course, she’d known about Wylan before but she forgot. A hand on his knee from Colm reminded him to please not escalate anything, so Jesper obliged and just showed a picture of him on his phone to appease her.
Kaz did his best to answer anything toward him, but he could feel his throat closing with each new answer as Cathal made a point of looking at him with either cold indifference or judgment. It was worse when he realized he was staring at the scars on his face or the gloves he was still wearing.
Going to the service for Saint Juris was at least a relief as he and Jesper sat in the back, texting their respective partners while Colm and the others sat closer to the front.
PuzzledPieces
9:34 am
Kaz: Juris was a dragon??
Inej: That’s the story!
Kaz: But dragons aren’t real. Wait, dragons aren’t real, right?
Inej: The story goes that Juris had tried to kill a dragon three times. He only succeeded on the third, and then the two became one.
Kaz: How?
Inej: Juris regretted killing the dragon. They were both warriors, equal matches in strength and yearning to fight and live. They were both made of the same stuff from the heart of creation, and so as they were the same, they became one and lived a thousand lives together before returning to the Bright Lands to remain as a Saint.
Kaz: … I think I need a diagram of how this works.
Inej: 💀
Inej: How are things otherwise?
Kaz: I don’t like them, and I don’t like how they make Colm feel. He’s different now. He looks sad. Jesper is beyond pissed off. I think there’s a lot they’re not telling me.
Inej: Family history probably goes back a long time. It might be hard to talk about.
Kaz: I know it is, but something is REALLY off. I’ve never seen Colm wilt like this. It’s making me nervous.
Inej: If you need to come to my place, let me know. We’ll come get you. And Jesper.
Kaz: Thanks.
Inej: Happy start of Spring Break? 😅
Kaz: 😤🎉
Jesper and Kaz kept their distance from the adults for the rest of the morning as they wandered the town, resting when Kaz needed and allowing Colm to take the brunt of Cathal’s and Bronagh’s attention. Both were relieved when they finally headed back home, ready to rest and hide in their rooms until Bronagh finished making whatever she planned on subjecting them to for lunch. Fortunately, it was only a basic beef stew with some store-bought soda bread that wasn’t too terrible.
The conversation? That was another story.
“So, Kaz, how are you liking it here?” Bronagh asked.
“I like it.”
Cathal eyed him but kept his mouth full of mediocre food instead of rude words. For the moment.
“And you’ve been here for how long? Since autumn?”
“Since July.”
“And he’s here to stay,” Colm said with a smile. “I’m very happy he has a home with us now.”
Kaz nodded and said, “Me, too.”
Cathal cleared his throat as soon as he swallowed, and Colm’s grip on his fork tightened. “Your boys have an interesting way of addressing elders, don’t they?”
Kaz looked at Colm, wondering what he’d done wrong. Then he looked at Jesper who had closed his eyes to prevent them from rolling out of his head.
“The way my boys talk is just fine, Athair.”
“It’s just common where we’re from to address their elders as ‘sir’ or ‘ma’am’ when speaking.”
“Gran and Grandda aren't here, though…”
Cathal gave Jesper a look before adding, “It’s proper for children to address anyone older than them as ‘sir’ or ‘ma’am’.”
As the blood drained from Kaz’s face, Colm asserted, “We don’t do that here. In our house, they don’t call me or anyone that unless they want to. It’s different here.”
Bronagh laughed, waving off Colm’s words. “Oh, you called us that growing up all the time and you had no problem with it.”
Jesper opened his eyes then and looked at her like she’d just insisted the world was flat and ice dragons roamed the borders to keep ships from falling off the edge.
“Even so,” Colm said, ignoring how false her statement was. “I don’t require that here, and I won’t make exceptions.”
Feeling the tension rising again and wanting to do something to make it stop, Kaz interrupted.
"Excuse me?"
Cathal eyed him, poised to lose his patience already. "Yes?"
"Can I please call you Mr. Fahey instead?"
Cathal rolled his eyes, but before he could speak, Colm answered. "That sounds like more than a fair compromise."
“I could live with that,” Bronagh said, taking another bite of food and giving Cathal a look to ask him to just accept it and move on.
“I’m just wondering what the reason might be. Cultural difference?” Cathal asked, looking around as if he were disgusted to be in Kerch, but Kaz knew it was something else. It was the house. It was the people. He didn’t like anyone there, and he was growing tired of everyone not knowing it. He could see it in his eyes, the way Colm still gripped his fork as if he might use it as a weapon, the way Jesper’s leg bounced beneath the table, the way Nova leaned against him but stayed more alert to the entire room as opposed to just his own emotions.
Fortunately, Bronagh was smart enough to move the conversation along for the time being. “Well, Kaz, what do you like to do in school? Colm tells me that you have excellent grades.”
Kaz dug his fingers into the flesh of his thigh, grounding him enough to focus on the painful sensation and only her words so he could manage an answer. He feared not answering would only cause more problems.
“Math. I’m taking a college class now and my regular class. It’s more fun that way.”
“Well, at least someone in the house has number sense,” Cathal muttered.
“And do you have a girlfriend? Or boyfriend? Someone special in your life?” she asked, trying to sound genuinely interested but falling just short of an old woman asking a cashier how they were doing.
Kaz couldn’t help but feel a little better then because how could he not when thinking about Inej?
“I do,” he said with a little smile. “Inej.”
“Inej?” Cathal asked. “Clearly not a Kerch name. Where is she from?”
Confused by the question, he said, “Here.”
“Where’s her family from?” Cathal asked, patience wearing thin again.
“Ravka. She’s Suli.”
Cathal snorted, turning to eye Colm, snarkily commenting, “Your other child is taking after you in some ways…”
"He knows there's merit in a bit of flavor.” Jesper muttered after taking a bite of his grandmother’s food. Colm kicked him under the table gently as a warning.
“This is what I’m talking about,” Cathal says, gesturing to Jesper. “That kind of rude behavior.” Jesper held his hands up in mock capitulation, but Cathal wasn’t finished. “We’ve got him mouthing off like that, and this one,” he said, gesturing to Kaz and staring at his scars again. “He barely speaks above a level one volume. I can see why his girlfriend is Suli.”
"Inej is nice and she… likes me. She’s a good person,” Kaz added, feeling anger flare at what he rightly assumed to be anti Suli feelings.
"She is really nice," Colm chimed in and gave Kaz a smile. "She's been a wonderful addition to their group."
"Ah, yes, the ragtag bunch,” Cathal said with disapproval, digging into his bread.
"Is there a reason for the commentary, Athair? We had a nice morning and I’d like it to continue,” Colm said.
“I am simply pointing out observations and am making a comment about the friends that are kept."
"I like our friends," Kaz said glumly, not like the tone of the conversation from either Colm or Cathal.
"Me, too, Kaz. And Inej is so helpful like you are for her."
Cathal took interest in that. "Oh?"
Kaz, ready to continue defending her, said, "I help her with math and she helps me with my Kerch class."
"Do you not speak your own native tongue well enough? Goodness, did you actually come from my son's lineage?"
"Athair!" Colm snapped.
"Human calculator apparently but he needs help speaking his own language from a foreigner."
"That's... that's not fair," Kaz said while wilting into his chair. “I never learned how to write papers and… I speak Kerch.”
“You never–”
"Stop it. Now. My boys are incredibly intelligent and talented in their own right, and I will not have you making them feel badly. Not here, not anywhere. You did that enough to me as a boy and it never helped, and you will not do it to them, so help me."
"Alright, alright. I'm just saying..."
"Well, don't. You know that Kaz had some challenges that were not his fault, and he's doing extremely well despite it. I'm proud of both my boys."
"Colm, can I go to my room, please?"
Cathal looked like he was about to say something, but a look from his wife warned him that he better quit.
"Go on up, Kaz. Is it alright if we talk later?" he asked, feeling guilty that the conversation has clearly triggered him.
"And we're the ones that misbehave, apparently," mumbled Jesper pointedly to his grandfather.
"Jesper needs to mind his mouth, and you shouldn't be asking them if it's alright for you to do anything. You're their parent."
"Right, I am their parent, and we will be talking about that once my boys aren't in the room.”
“Nah,” Jesper said, pushing his chair back. “Kaz, let’s go to the barn.”
Kaz beckoned him closer and whispered, “Soon. Room first. I’ll meet you out there.”
After that, they left Colm alone to deal with his “parents” so he could remind them again just whose house they were in. If Cathal Fahey liked to bark about rules and expectations and authority, then he was damn well going to remember where he was.
***
Jesper mumbled to himself as he stormed toward the barn, mocking Cathal under his breath. In his rage, he found himself reverting back to his silly dramatic voice as Lady Llewellyn, bantering to himself partially as a newscaster. “‘The sheer audacity of the one who claims to hold our genetic code but not our hearts,’ said the lady, ready to rummage through the barn of her puhpah’s estate for pointy objects or, even better, something dull and rusty.”
Once inside, he took a look around and marveled at how far their upcoming “clubhouse” had come. He felt some of the frustration toward his da dissipating, Wylan’s notes still in his head. As difficult as this was for himself and Kaz, Wylan was right; he had no idea how this was affecting his father.
He pulled out his phone, FaceTiming before he even had a second thought. In less time than that, the familiar face of his grandda lit up the screen with the added adornments of face and body paint. The celebrations for Saint Juris were clearly in full preparation, and Eoghan had a mixture of the Kaelish national colors and a dragon painted on him.
[COCKLES AND MUSSELS, ALIVE ALIVE, OH!] Eoghan sang, earning a genuine laugh from his grandson. [How’s my stringbean of a lad doing?]
[You’ll never guess who’s here,] he said, growing more serious.
[You know me, boyo. The answer will either be something mundane like your da because he lives there or something wild like your cunt of a—]
[That would be accurate.]
All jubilation faded from Eoghan’s face. It would have been comical to see a man with a dragon painted on his abdomen deflate like a popped pool float if the occasion weren’t so serious. [You’re not telling me they’re there? Your gran saw them packing but we thought they were taking one of their weekend vacations somewhere. Cathal and Bronagh are there?!]
[That would be correct. More to it, Da let them stay! I mean, not in the house, he got them a hotel. Still, Grandda, he let them stay and now they’re stressing out Kaz and Cathal is being a dick! He just insulted Inej’s background and Kaz’s education and… he’s being him! I wish Da would just…I don’t know.]
The camera shifted a bit as Eoghan wandered to the couch and took a seat, his patriotic-painted face mulling over Jesper’s words. [How is your da doing?]
[Stressed. Tired.]
[Has he been keeping you lads out of the crosshairs?]
[He’s tried. I wish he would throw them out, though. Maybe not Bronagh as much because she’s annoying and gaslights but doesn’t cause real harm, but I would pay money to see him shove Cathal into a cannon and shoot him back home like some cartoon.]
Eoghan laughed at the imagery which led to a laugh from Jesper, as well. The two let the mixture of stress and humor settle before Eoghan took a deep breath and put back on his grandfather hat. [I’ll talk to your da, but I do want you to try and remember how much they have messed with his mind over the years. The push and pull. I hate with all my fucking being that they lure him back in sometimes. He’s hurting and, hopefully, he’s preventing you two from being the focus, though that does mean he’s taking an emotional bullet every minute he’s with them.]
[I know. I just…]
[You have every right to feel how you’re feeling. I’ll talk to him. Beyond that, how are you and Kaz doing? I can help make that cannon for you. Fun science project. I’ll have to see if we have any spare parts around. Ejau probably has something we can work with.]
Jesper could hear the clear sound of Kaz’s gait as he approached the barn, Nova and her jingling collar right beside him.
[Actually, Kaz is about to come back. I’ll text the group chat. Talk to you soon?]
[I’ll be here.]
Kaz, now in his moth onesie, wordlessly climbed the ladder and sat bundled up in his corner of the loft with Nova while Jesper joined to lounge nearby. Jesper had tried talking to Kaz for a minute, but he’d only offered nods and shakes of his head, unable to find the will to speak at the moment as he hid beneath his hood, comical red moth eyes staring straight ahead. At least Kaz could respond that way as Jesper had an idea brewing, and as Kaz had agreed, he would need to talk to his good grandparents. So, as promised, Jesper pulled out his phone and began texting them.
Grand Grands
Bibi: I know I shouldn’t be surprised considering audacity is the only big thing Cathal has going for him, but for him to show up unannounced AGAIN?!
Jesper: BIBI 💀
Grandda: HAAAA!!!!
Babu: Sometimes you’re just as bad as Eoghan
Gran: JELANI
Bibi: In the eyes of the Saints and everyone with eyes, I’m not wrong.
Jesper: Okay, WELL. I'm going to start a new thread with Kaz so he can be involved in this conversation. I'd add him to this one but I know how it’s mostly Grandda who has said naughty things and we need to ease him in.
Grandda is typing...
Gran: Eoghan Elder, don't you dare finish that thought.
Grandda: 😇
Grand of Brothers
Kaz: Hi...
Bibi: Hi, sweet thing! How are you?
Kaz: I'm okay. A lot is happening.
Bibi: Take your time and breathe if you need. We're here however we can be.
Grandda: Like murder.
Gran: Eoghan!
Grandda: What? There are crows on the property. I was simply offering to support them.
Gran: Mmmmhmmm
Grandda: And also kill Cathal Fahey
Kaz: 😂
Babu: I’ll help hide the body
Gran: Well now I’m concerned. Too many of us know about this. Someone could rat the other out.
Bibi: She’s right
Grandda: Like we’d ever do such a thing!
Jesper: Grandda, do yourself a favor and don’t argue with women when it comes to murder. The amount of True Crime they’ve watched should have you looking over your shoulder constantly.
Babu: Well now what do we do?
Jesper: Actually, I talked to Kaz about an idea I had. I know this is so last minute and a long shot, but after all of this? I hope that it might work out.
Grandda: What did you have in mind?
***
The rest of the day went relatively well as Cathal had elected to keep his commentary to himself, even though Kaz could feel his judgement as soon as he saw what he was wearing. Kaz just pulled his hood down lower and crawled into his favorite recliner to stretch his leg out while he read a book and checked in on the group chats between his friends and Jesper’s grandparents. Jesper’s plan seemed to be working out with enthusiastic approval from their friends, but they had to bide their time.
Bronagh tried to talk to him a little about the book he was reading as Cathal and Colm sat beside each other on the couch to watch the news. He did his best to answer her questions, but he was struggling to give many answers as speaking had become difficult. He was relieved when Nova asked to go out, and he remained outside with her for longer than he usually would have, plugging in her tennis ball launcher for her to play.
Kaz had never been more thankful for the breath he could finally take when they’d returned to the hotel late that night. Colm had tried to talk with him and Jesper before bed, but there was little to say as they just wanted to recover in peace before the next day.
At least Colm cooked for everyone and they weren’t stuck with bland food, though Cathal was likely to have indigestion later. Jesper, of course, had to text that to Kaz later with a quick “may his insides mimic mine after a Lactaid famine.” Kaz had to take several slow, deep breaths to avoid laughing, offering instead a quick “I hate you” text back.
To their surprise, the day had been relatively pleasant with only a few clipped comments from Cathal. Colm was sure to keep him satisfied with just enough whiskey to keep him from complaining but not enough to cause him to be belligerent. He was, fortunately, known to be calm after a few drams. Any more than that was a gamble.
Colm took them for a tour of the farm as Bronagh had requested, allowing Jesper and Kaz to have room to relax for a while on their own out on the porch while Nova played. She’d been so much more reserved since they arrived, and Kaz was worried. Every time they came back, she was prone to watching them and sticking right by Kaz as if she were just as nervous around them as he was. It was nothing like how she was with Ejau and Jelani, and it made Kaz a little sad.
At least Bronagh still seemed to be a little nicer than Cathal, though there were times when her comments still made Colm bristle and clench his fists repeatedly as if to stim away his own nervous energy. It usually had something to do with a memory from Colm’s childhood and how different things were now with his own children.
She’d managed to capture a little of Kaz’s interest when she turned on one of her favorite daytime shows to watch, and even Colm was interested. It was a long running soap opera that they would watch when he was younger, and they reminisced about old plotlines and characters that had long since left the show. It was a nice change of pace, and a bit more tension had left the house.
He also learned that afternoon that Colm used to help her with coupon clipping and sorting, a skill that he’d carried into adulthood as he knew how to hunt for good bargains. Kaz’s Kerch heart couldn’t help but appreciate that.
What was most surprising of all was Cathal’s suggestion to play some board games or card games which, of course, grabbed Kaz’s attention. While Colm brought out some options, Jesper warned Kaz to not do any of his card counting or try too hard to actually win because Cathal had a tendency to be a sore loser. You had to let him win more often than not or he’d get into a mood. Kaz understood, though it made him a little more nervous to play anything. He’d always been careful to not be too “himself” when playing certain games because it wouldn’t be fair to anyone else. Nobody could beat him at any card game anymore, so he reined himself in accordingly.
Though, when playing cards were in his hands, Kaz couldn’t help but practice a few cardistry movements and even showed a few magic tricks at Bronagh’s request. Even Cathal was interested, and he told a story about a man he knew back in the military who’d always walk around with a deck of cards to show off magic tricks when he was bored. Nobody could ever figure out how he’d done any of it. It seemed like the closest thing to a compliment anybody in the house was going to get.
On the next day, Cathal challenged Jesper to a game of chess which he won. Jesper could play, and he did actually try to win this time since, but he couldn’t. Colm played next, and it came down to a close game where Cathal managed the win. Next, he asked Kaz if he’d like to try, and Kaz could see how nervous that made Colm, but he was honest.
“I don’t know how to play.”
If Kaz and the others didn’t know any better, he would have thought Cathal was impressed with how quickly he picked up the game’s rules and operations. Cathal kept playing, eying Kaz as if he hadn’t believed that he couldn’t really play. Keeping Jesper’s words in mind, Kaz ignored the fact that he could see at least ten moves ahead for every option Cathal had. He feigned having lesser skill and made “mistakes” which allowed Cathal to claim victory and remain the reigning champion. At least it kept him in a good mood.
The rest of the evening was relatively calm just as the day had been, but Cathal seemed to have had enough to drag Bronagh back to the hotel earlier than the day before. Nobody in the Fahey house was going to complain about that or the fact that they’d arrived a bit later the next day for their visit. Bronagh had immediately tried to arrange some kind of plan for Colm’s birthday which was the following day, but he’d insisted that they didn’t need to do anything beyond going out to a restaurant together. It was far more than he wanted to begin with, but whatever kept the peace going.
That peace felt more fragile now as Cathal seemed to be in a mood. Kaz could see it right away, and he saw the way it made Colm keep his eyes cast to the floor and his own back closer to the walls. Even Bronagh seemed a little more tense and prone to a few more eye rolls when she thought nobody was looking.
There was also an unfortunate moment when Cathal, after having made a comment about the crow onesie that Kaz was now wearing, looked annoyed when Colm told him to stop. As he rolled his eyes and huffed an agitated sigh, he reached for his belt to adjust it before leaning back in his seat. Kaz had immediately backed away and moved behind Jesper who led him away from the room as he’d immediately understood what happened.
Cathal was less than understanding when Colm asked if he’d be willing to change out his belt for suspenders.
"I'm not a fucking 1930s barber. I'm not adjusting my clothes because your foster child has problems. You're making me change what I do, what I say, how I wear things, but those boys can't even reliably say a basic 'yes, sir'?"
"All I'm asking is that you are flexible with a child who has been through a lot of traumatizing experiences."
"Children these days are traumatized by any little thing. If I fed that boy peanuts and looked at him sideways, he'd have an allergic reaction and panic attack."
After overhearing this, Jesper and Kaz did their best to avoid him for the rest of the day, instead turning their attention to video games on their Switches that they played together in Jesper’s room. They felt bad for leaving Colm on his own with them, but Jesper was pretty sure that he was going to mouth off if he had to spend another minute around him.
When it was time for a late afternoon dinner, Colm helped his mother cook the meal. His father, of course, had some comments about him being finicky about the best ways to cut a vegetable or the right amount of seasonings. Meanwhile, he sipped a whiskey without lifting so much as a finger toward the direction of the work at hand. When it was done, Colm called Jesper, Kaz, and Nova down. They all filed in, Kaz coming in last but passing the table. Nova stayed behind him so his back was protected as he got her food dish and a can of her favorite wet food.
"The dog is still eating with us?" Cathal asked, making Kaz shiver.
"Yes," Kaz replied quietly, taking the dish to his chosen chair at the table near the exit.
"Yes? Yes, who? What did we talk about?"
Colm sighed and stared up at the ceiling. Kaz shoulders stiffened, and he barely managed to say "Yes, sir." He could feel Jesper glaring down at his dinner while resisting the temptation to tear into his granddad.
“Can you please stop correcting them?” asked Colm “We don’t enforce that rule in this house.”
"Well, I'm just so happy to have the family together," Colm's mother chimed in while sounding far too sweet for anyone's liking.
"Oh, yes. Very happy," Jesper said while trying not to sound sarcastic. "So, what dish did you make for us?"
Bronagh gave him a sweet smile and began explaining the shepherd’s pie they had thrown together.
“Colm is a bit out of practice making it,” said Cathal. “In fact, when was the last time you made it by yourself?” Cathal started laughing. “When you were twelve? Oh, Colm burned the hell out of it. Ruined a whole dish. Was already crying before I even touched him with that spatula.”
“Athair….”
"Well, no harm done in the end," reasoned Bronagh.
Colm was sitting there getting red but trying not to start something.
“Sounds like harm was done on someone’s end,” said Jesper.
"And if you had some of it, maybe your mouth wouldn't be running so much," Cathal said with a smile.
Kaz started to freeze up. The tension was mounting, and he couldn't stand it.
Colm took notice and immediately said, “We should go to the front porch to talk. Let the boys have dinner.”
“I’m eating mine while it’s warm.”
“It’s okay, Colm,” Kaz said, earning a vicious glare from Cathal. “Can I just get more water?”
“Sure, do you want me to get it for you?”
“No, I can get it.” He didn’t want to leave, but he did need a break from the table.
As if Kaz was no better than some insect buzzing past him that couldn’t hear or understand him, Cathal watched him and said, "Remind me again why he hobbles around with that thing. If he got up instead of sitting around and actually moved properly he wouldn’t need it. He’s been here since July.”
"It doesn’t work that way. He had a major injury. He's permanently disabled. He is building his strength as he can, but he'll always need a cane or another device to help him out." Cathal scoffed, internally thinking about a different kind of cane that Colm and his disrespectful kids needed, and Colm can feel the violence stirring. "Does it offend you that he needs one?"
"It's just not right for a young man. Aoife was always the same way."
"He’s hardly sedentary just like Aoife. Besides, disability can happen to any of us at any time. Carry that attitude with you if it happens to you and see how far it gets you. You're not a young man, but your pride might say otherwise."
"I think you need to watch your tone."
"And you need to leave my child alone. He has done nothing wrong."
Kaz wanted to bolt for his room at this point, but he made himself sit down despite his fear. At the moment, he found he was feeling a little more angry than he was scared. He wasn’t going to leave Jesper and Colm to deal with this alone.
“Colm, I know you didn’t appreciate my methods in raising you all the time, but at least you had manners. You always had that lapse after hanging around Eoghan too much, but I taught you right.”
“I don’t think fear is the same as manners.”
“Healthy fear is a good tool.”
“There’s nothing healthy about fearing your parent.”
“And that is exactly why you’re too soft on those boys. I guarantee if you had tanned Jesper’s hide even once growing up, he wouldn’t be this wild.”
“He’s not wild, he’s spirited and he’s comfortable enough to be himself at home.”
Jesper took that as his cue to step in and say, “Why does my da, who’s a full-grown adult, need to watch his tone in his own home?”
Cathal turned to him and immediately snapped, “Oh, do you think you’re a big man now? Talking to me like you’ve got something to prove?”
“What’s to prove?”
“Jesper, enough,” Colm said, trying desperately to diffuse the situation as he knew exactly where it could lead. “You’re just provoking him.”
“Good. Somebody needs to.”
Cathal turned to him and immediately threatened, “You are on thin ice. One more comment like that out of you and you’ll get from me what your da isn’t tough enough to do.”
As soon as the last word left Cathal’s lips, Colm promised him, “You hurt a single hair on his head and you’re out on your ass.”
Bronagh stepped in and said, “Alright, that’s enough. Tempers are high. Everyone needs to apologize.”
Jesper shook his head. “I’m not apologizing for anything. I didn’t do anything wrong.”
Kaz’s anger, while still present, was becoming overshadowed by the escalation of volume and anger of those around him. Practiced and learned instinct was telling him that he needed to fawn or get out, but he found that he could only cover his ears again and rock himself in his chair. Nova tried to comfort him, but she was also so focused on rising anger that she kept her eyes on the room while she leaned into him.
Jesper finally noticed and knew it was time to retreat. “You know what, fuck this. Kaz, come on.”
"Oh, boys, please stay," Bronagh asked as Kaz and Jesper stood and moved for the doorway. "I so rarely get to see you, Jesper. And Kaz, it's so nice to get to know you."
"Perhaps if our son respected where he came from more, we'd see our grandson and things would be more right in this world,” Cathal complained, though everyone in that room knew he had no interest in seeing Jesper as anything other than quiet and obedient.
“Kaz, Jesper, please go upstairs,” Colm urged.
“You heard your mother!” Cathal shouted.
“And you heard me.”
"For someone who's big on authority and rule making, you sure have a hard time following my da's," Jesper challenged.
"Jes, please?" Kaz urged him to be careful.
“Jesper, go upstairs now,” Colm ordered.
Ignoring him and unable to resist the temptation of putting Cathal in his place, Jesper kept going. “No, you don’t get to come in here and act like you make the rules. My da is the one who owns this house, not you. You came here unannounced when you were told multiple times that it wasn’t a good idea, but you always have to have things your way!”
Cathal leveled a deadly stare at him, and something boiled over in Jesper that felt thrilling. He was ready to see his challenge through to the end.
“Jes…” Kaz whimpered, covering his ears again while Nova leaned into him protectively.
Colm gently took hold of Jesper’s shoulder and pulled him back. “Mo leanbh, I need you to stop. Please, stop.”
Hearing the desperation in his voice, Jesper backed away despite the fact that Cathal was now standing and moving toward them.
“You need to deal with your child.”
Colm held his ground, staring into his eyes and said, “Sit down.”
“You don’t tell me what to do, Colm.”
“No, you don’t tell me what to do in my own home when you’re doing nothing but antagonizing all of us. Sit down. I won’t ask you again.”
“I don’t tell you what to do? I am your father!”
And then, something snapped inside of Colm then. The words were out of his mouth before he could even realize what he was doing.
“You’re not my father and you never were! Eoghan is! It has always been Eoghan!”
That’s when everything fell completely apart. The powder keg had blown.
The slap against Colm’s cheek echoed through the kitchen, an action meant to shame and humiliate from a place of truth that couldn’t be faced for nearly forty-five years. For Colm, it was just another string of insults, another pain that he’d forgotten how intimate he used to be with it. For Jesper, it was beyond the last straw, and he was ready to tear his grandfather apart if not for Kaz whining in fear, not knowing if Kaz was about to have a panic attack or run. Not even Kaz knew then as the only sound in his head was raging static. His body only moved when Nova did, all within the span of seconds.
She moved in front of Kaz, taking a couple steps forward and snapping a loud, nasty bark at Cathal as a warning to back away from everyone. Cathal’s hand was in the air again, and before anyone else could react, Kaz was between them, taking the hit to his shoulder.
“Fuck!” Jesper shouted while Bronagh covered her mouth in shock.
He moved to shove Cathal backwards along with Colm, but Kaz was quicker. Before anyone could blink, Cathal was pinned against the wall by Kaz’s cane. He’d used it to violently shove him backwards, nearly crushing his windpipe while Cathal fought hard to get him off. Adrenaline served Kaz well, allowing him to hold him back.
“Don’t you ever fucking touch them again!” he hoarsely yelled, tears streaming down his face with death and fury glaring from his eyes.
“Get him off!” Bronagh yelled, watching Cathal struggle to push Kaz off of him who held tight, leaning in and watching as his face began to turn purple.
Colm and Jesper moved to either side, gently pulling back on the edges of the cane to keep Kaz from choking him. Cathal slipped out of the cane’s hold, dropping to the floor to scurry away while coughing as he stood in the corner. Nova growled and barked again, ready to bite him should he come near once more. Kaz, however, now shaking and weakened from using all of his strength, managed to grab her and pull her into his lap to face the corner with his back toward the room, falling completely silent as he rocked himself with her watching over his shoulder.
“Get out. Get… Get the fuck out!” Colm yelled, grabbing Cathal by the neck of his shirt and yanking him toward the front door.
“Colm, please!” Bronagh wailed.
He threw Cathal out the door, and he would have thrown him down the porch steps but he didn’t want a murder charge on his hands.
[Get the fuck out!]
[You ungrateful shit!]
[Ungrateful?! I’m giving you a gift! I’m giving you what you’ve always wanted, you selfish fucking prick! I’m giving you an out! I have been trying to give you an out for years! Just take it! You don’t want to be here and I don’t want you here! You’re only here because of my mother! That’s the only reason, so you can take it up with her! Grow a spine and just stop! Stop coming here and playing these Saints damned games with me! You don’t want me. Fine. I accept it. You’re free, Cathal. You’re free! Now get the fuck away from me and don’t come back.]
[You—]
[You slapped me in front of my kids which is bad enough, but you hit my kid! You hit my fucking kid and you’re lucky you’re not picking your teeth up off the ground. Get out. Get out, and don’t come back. Take the gift, and go. I want nothing from you. Go be free and childless like you always wanted!]
What hurt more than the slap, more than seeing Kaz hit, more than allowing the release of words woven with years from irreparable damage, pain, and inadequacy, was feeling one more disappointment when he looked in his father’s eyes and saw only relief.
Before he lost more dignity and allowed himself to cry, he went back inside, seeing his mother trying to get close to Kaz while Jesper stood his ground, telling her to leave him alone.
“I’m sorry…” She caught sight of Colm, shrinking back from how furious he looked. “Colm, please–”
“I want you out. Go back to the hotel. Go home.”
“Your father is just tough and from a different time. You know how he can get sometimes. He didn’t mean anything by this, and you know how he acts to rudeness.”
“I don’t care if he’s from across the damn galaxy from light years ago! Máthair, stop. Stop kidding yourself and look at this life we’re living. I am at peace with it, and I wish you would be, too.”
“What are you talking about?”
“Cathal Fahey is not my father. He never was. He never will be.”
“Colm…”
“Let it go. If you want us to move forward in any capacity, then you need to understand that what happened today was wrong and that what happened to me growing up was wrong. It was wrong.”
“It was parenting, Colm. You could be a bit much and a bit dramatic. You got that from your uncle. Your father is just trying to help and so am I,” she pleaded, ignoring Jesper as he scoffed.
“I promised my sons that they'd never be harmed ever in this house and Athair turned me into a liar! Look at my sons! Look at how Jesper is looking at you. Look at how Kaz is fucking hiding in a corner because of what he did!"
"Colm," Bronagh tried, looking a bit uncomfortable. "He's just a foster child. This is your father and I."
“And you stopped having the right to call yourself my mother the moment you let Cathal beat the hell out of me and let him keep doing it! For saints sake, sometimes you were just as bad as he was! Then that last… you let him and I left!”
"I did the best I could!"
“You gave me up! You gave me up over and over and over only to drag me right back in because of your selfishness! You gave me up then took me from the stable, happy home I had! You saw me the same way you saw anything your brother had that you didn’t, like a toy you didn’t give a damn about until he had it. Tell me I’m wrong. Convince me I’m wrong! Convince me that you don’t just care about me when it means something is in it for you, like it has always been. At best, you did the bare minimum when I was with you. That was your choice. All of it was your choice since the moment you decided to conceive me. So I’m giving you one more choice now. You pick him, we’re done. I’m walking away. I’m not doing this anymore. I’m done.”
“Colm, please,” she begged, not knowing what else she could say.
“Make your choice, and leave me in peace.”
She stared at him, as if memorizing the features of his face, something she’d never bothered to do before. For a longer minute, she stared at Jesper, finding nothing of herself in him, but why would she? Why even bother looking? Jesper would argue otherwise. She’d put anger in him, and bitterness—both gifts from her and Cathal that he was more than happy to show now. And then, she looked at Kaz, still facing away from them all, body wrapped around the dog who stared her down like she didn’t need permission to maul anyone who got too close.
Without another word, she grabbed her purse and left.
Nova immediately started nudging and licking Kaz’s cheek when she could wiggle around enough to do so, trying to comfort him and calm his shallow, erratic breathing.
“Kaz, are you with us? Jesper? Are you… Are you okay?” Colm asked, numb but trying his best to be the father he needed to be.
“I’m okay, Da.” Jesper turned to Kaz then, kneeling far enough away but close enough for Kaz to hopefully feel his presence. He didn’t dare go directly behind his back. “Kaz, are you there? They’re gone. It’s okay now. They left.”
When there was no response, Colm retrieved one of his blankets, popped in the dryer for a minute, and had Jesper carefully drape it over his shoulders. There was still no response, but Colm knew it might take a few minutes. He’d be alright.
“Jes, can you sit here with him, please? I need… I need a minute.”
“Yeah, Da. I’ve got him.”
Jesper started talking to Kaz about anything and everything, hoping his voice would be enough of a comfort to guide him back to reality. Meanwhile, Colm let the sound filter out of his ears, closing his office door to further shut it out so he could sit in silence. Another storm. Another aftermath. Another, another, another.
The stinging in his cheek slowly made itself known, and the few tears that fell from his eyes did nothing to soothe the burning there or in his chest. A predictable end to something he should have stopped years ago, but his heart could never let him even after all they did. Even now, as free as he felt, the burden of knowing that he was never a priority, never chosen, never wanted by the people who brought him into the world, hurt like nothing else.
He rubbed his face, not caring about the added pain to his cheek, and composed himself to go back out to the kitchen to check on Kaz. He’d already started coming back to himself, albeit slowly. He’d turned around to face Jesper, taking the offered glass of water to sip while Nova continued giving him small licks to his jaw.
“Jes, are you okay?” Colm asked. “Really, are you okay? Are you…”
Colm could feel himself starting to cry again, but he forced himself to swallow his sorrow. Jesper immediately stood to pull him into a hug and said, “I’m fine. It’s over. They’re gone now. Okay? They’re gone. Don’t let them come back here. Let it be done.”
“It’s done. It’s done. I’m sorry.”
“It’s okay.”
“Colm?” said Kaz, quiet as a mouse.
Colm pulled away from the hug and knelt. “Are you hurt? Is your shoulder alright?”
“I’m fine,” he said, trying to stand up on his wobbly legs. “I need to sit.”
Kaz was able to make it to the recliner with Colm guiding him there while Jesper excused himself to make a phone call. He and Kaz exchanged a knowing look and a nod while Colm helped adjust the recliner so Kaz could sit comfortably.
“Really, are you alright, a chuilein?” Colm asked, worried about the damage that Cathal had done to him.
"It didn't really hurt. Shocked me more than anything..." Kaz got a look on his face, half sour taste and half mischief.
"What?"
“Cathal hits like a bitch,” said Kaz, hoping it would get a laugh from Colm.
Though it received a small chuckle, behind Colm’s, “Yeah,” Kaz could hear the sadness and grief, perhaps even more guilt, surrounding it. He saw the forming bruise on his guardian’s face and the defeat in his eyes.
“You know you didn’t do anything wrong?”
“I need to tell Nadia,” was all Colm said.
“You didn’t do anything wrong,” Kaz repeated.
“I put you in a situation where you got hurt.”
“Any situation can get me or anyone hurt. You didn’t do anything wrong and I don’t want to risk being taken from home.”
Colm sighed before putting his phone down and giving Kaz a serious look. “If I ever feel I’ve put you in any danger again, I’m calling Nadia. Does that sound fair?”
“You didn’t put me in danger.”
“I still need her to know when you are put in situations that make you feel unsafe.”
“I’m safe with you.”
Colm’s heart burst at that and he had to take a moment. Then, with the first genuine smile Kaz had seen from him since Nova’s birthday, Colm said, “What you did was extremely brave and kind. I hope you know that.”
“... I couldn’t let him hurt Nova. Or you. Or Jesper.”
Needing to fight back tears, Colm closed his eyes for a moment and breathed deeply. “Thank you, a chuilein.”
***
When Colm knew that Kaz and Jesper were truly okay and settled in front of the TV to help themselves unwind from that horrible experience, he went to his own bedroom and closed the door. He sat on the foot of his bed in silence, staring ahead blankly until his eyes wandered to the photos he kept on the wall. Of course, he’d immediately zeroed in on the tiny image of Cathal and Bronagh in the family portrait, taunting him like a thought that would never truly leave.
But they’re gone now. They’re finally gone. I’m done with them. I… They should have been gone the moment they gave me up. They hurt me for so long and now they hurt my kid and I let that happen. I let it…
He buried his face in his hands, breathing hard and fighting to hold onto his sanity.
I want my da. I need him. I need him, I need him. I want him here.
He sobbed once, unable to control it, but then he stopped. He forced himself to stop, swallowing down the need to scream and rage against the world. Instead, he pulled his phone out and immediately called Eoghan.
The phone kept ringing, and he feared it was going to go to voicemail before he finally picked up.
[Hey, boyo.]
[Hey, Da.]
He wanted to tell Eoghan what happened, but he didn’t want to be told he was wrong. He’d allowed his child to get hurt. He’d allowed himself to get hurt. He felt like a total failure, and he couldn’t bear to have Eoghan tell him otherwise even if it was the only thing in the world he wanted to hear.
[Did something happen?]
And yet he can always tell from the sound of my voice. I just want to hear his now. That’s all I need. I’m fine… I can be fine.
[I’m alright. Just wanted to talk.]
[I would absolutely love to talk to you, but can I get back to you in about an hour? I’m right in the middle of an errand but I’ll talk to you soon.]
Colm sniffled and forced himself to toughen up, spine stiffening. Still, he couldn’t help but ask, [An hour?]
[At most, my life. I’ll talk to you soon.]
[Alright. I can wait.]
[Alright, my life. Soon. Bye for just a little while.]
…
When they hung up, Aoife gave Eoghan a look, the arrivals gates bustling with energy as they settled at a cafe.
[What? It’s not a lie. I’ll talk to him in an hour in person and the errand to run is to their house.]
[How is he?]
[He wouldn’t even tell me what happened. Those poor kids. Jesper told me that Kaz apparently pinned Cathal to the wall with his cane.]
[I’d pay money to see that. Damn. Well, we need to get out of here before you actually commit murder. Ani and Ejau are out of customs, so we’ll see them any minute.]
Eoghan breathed a sigh of relief, feeling himself counting down the seconds. When Jesper and Kaz had asked them to come, he agreed without hesitation. He and Aoife were already sorry for having to postpone their previous visit due to Aoife’s hip replacement, but they couldn’t wait anymore. Their boy needed them. Now, all they had to do was meet up with the Hillis, get the rental car, then onward to their lads. His son tended to love surprises and he hoped this would prove to be a good one.