Chapter Text
Harvey never had the chance to consider himself innocent.
He’d known entirely too much about sex before he’d ever reached puberty and had learned to hate it after his abuse at the hands of Bobby’s clients had started.
But he liked control.
He liked that, as an adult, sex had given him an outlet for that control and that the people he’d brought down to this room in the past had been the sort that had craved someone to submit to.
Hoisting his naked form up onto the table now, he might as well have been a virgin.
He felt…fuck, he felt nervous. Even though it had been his idea and he knew that Donna loved him, anxiety pierced through his stomach with the weight of a boulder.
Donna was across the room. She was leaning over the sink, her back to him as she washed her hands and the fact that she had said nothing since agreeing to his offer wasn’t helping his erratic heartbeat calm any.
He took a breath. Then another.
By the time Donna turned around, he was laying back against the cool metal, eyes on her with a mix of desire and apprehension.
She was beautiful. Harvey had always thought so, but tonight, she floored him. The dark green of her dress made her hazel eyes look emerald and complemented her hair and fair complexion.
The silk material clung to her curves and accented the best parts of them. Her back was mostly exposed, something he’d taken advantage of through the evening, running his fingers along her bare skin whenever he could, and the straps falling from her shoulders held her breast up for his ultimate viewing pleasure.
She smiled at him, small at first, and his racing heart stuttered.
That smile grew as she moved closer and his body reacted, cock flexing as blood flowed south. He was half hard by the time she was close enough to touch. Donna lightly smacked his hand when he reached to do exactly that.
“Not yet,” she told him, her voice too soft to be an order, but he obeyed, dropping his palm back to his side.
Donna took a breath and for a split second, he saw a flicker of uncertainty in her eyes.
They met his.
“I know you said I can do anything,” she said, quickly and quietly, “But is there anything that you…I’m…I don’t want to do anything that’s going to-”
Breaking the rule, he grabbed her hand. She allowed him that, her lips parting as he forced himself to smile at her.
“Anything you want,” he repeated, sounding more confident than he felt about what was to come, but he owed her this, “I’m yours, Princess.”
Donna swallowed, then nodded, determination flooding her expression.
“Okay. But like you once told me, if you want to stop this, any part of it, you tell me. No pride. No stubbornness. You have to promise to tell me, because that’s the only way I’m doing this. Understand?”
Harvey felt his muscles relax at the resolution on her face, her insistence that this measure be so securely in place. For his sake.
“I promise,” he told her.
Donna nodded, “Good. And I’ll promise you, too. If you say ‘stop’, we do. Immediately, okay? No matter what.”
Harvey squeezed her hand, “I trust you.”
There was such tenderness in the way she stared back at him, every emotion reflecting in her eyes.
In a short rush, Donna leaned down and brushed her lips over his. It was more of a peck than a kiss, but it helped ease the last bit of his nerves, and hers too, apparently, because there was nothing but confidence radiating from her when she straightened.
His Princess was a damn good actress.
Donna took the hand she held and raised it, until his arm was stretching above his head, and Harvey heard the clinking of metal before he felt the leather of the cuffs touch his skin. Donna fastened it securely, loose enough that he wouldn’t be in danger of losing circulation, even if he struggled against the bind, but tight enough that the material dug slightly into his skin. There was no chance of slipping free.
When Donna wrapped the cuff around his second wrist and cinched the belt-like tether, Harvey felt his adrenaline spike. He controlled his expression through years of practice, but his heart was pounding and he felt unsettled in his skin.
The urge to bolt was strong, increasing as he realized just how stuck he was. When Donna’s lithe fingers secured the cuffs at his ankles, his skin grew balmy.
Harvey closed his eyes and focused on breathing again. He forced himself not to tug against the restraints. It would only freak him out more; remind him that he was trapped. If he closed his eyes and breathed, he could concentrate on the feel of Donna’s touch. He liked her touch. And they could be anywhere in the world.
You’re fine , he told himself, You’re fine .
The mantra worked until Donna’s hand left him and his eyes shot open.
She was passing by him, walking behind his head, out of sight, to where he knew his selection of toys and tools would give her plenty of options to consider.
A moment passed in silence. Then another. Harvey strained a little, tilting his head as he tried to catch sight of her, but he could only manage to see a flash of green.
There was noise, then. Some jingling as she moved through things he couldn’t see.
He was embarrassed by how relieved he felt when she finally came back into his view. There was something in her hands. Black, with metal. She unfurled it and he realized she was holding a gag with a faux leather bit.
“I won’t cover your eyes,” she said, like she knew he needed to be able to see her to keep his wits about him, “But…” She stopped beside his head, pulling the length of the straps taut, “I know how much you like to bite things. So, open your mouth.”
He held her gaze as he followed her command. His lips parted slowly, allowing her the space to slide the leather strap between them. The taste was like latex or wax and felt strange on his tongue, but when Donna looped the strap behind his head and tightened it, he did bite down on the bit and the flavor of it was forgotten.
Holy fuck, it was a struggle to even breathe. His nostrils flared with how hard he inhaled and the erratic pace of his heart increased like the bastard was trying to run away without him.
Frantically, Harvey fought to ground himself. His eyes whirled until landing on Donna’s face and he locked in, staring at her familiar features. She was looking at him too, and with the way her eyes widened, he knew she saw the panic in his own.
Her hand came to his cheek and she stroked him over the strap.
“You’re safe,” she told him, “Harvey. Listen to me.”
He did.
“The first night I went with you to your apartment,” she said, still stroking him, “You told me about the flight and flight response. How, when it’s triggered, it can also increase arousal, right?”
He struggled through the fog in his head to recall the memory.
Her in his apartment.
His hands sliding beneath the lace of her panties, her gasp, hot in his ear as she’d tucked her head in his neck.
He’d made her cum, standing there in his living room. Because she’d been afraid of him. But she’d wanted him just as much.
“You can breathe,” she cooed at him, fingers grazing along his hairline, “You can speak, even with this. Think around your instincts and stay with me.”
Stay with me .
Harvey stared at her until he was able to convince his brain that she was right. He could breathe. He could get out of this if he wanted. Donna would let him loose with a single word or even a sound of discomfort. He knew that.
He trusted her.
Slowly, he nodded, and while her expression didn’t change, he saw the way her shoulders dropped with relief.
Her hand moved from his hair to his jaw, then further as she walked around the table.
His chest, his stomach, his leg, his foot.
Then she stepped back from him and he tilted his chin so that he wouldn’t lose sight of her.
She was studying his body on display and he felt exposed. Vulnerable and open in a way he’d learned to fear a long time ago.
Which was the entire fucking point of this, wasn’t it?
He pushed away the memories of his past as Donna reached up, her hand drifting from her side to her neck and higher.
She removed whatever pinned her hair up in the elegant bun she donned, and the long red curls fell down, framing her shoulders.
Shoulders, where the straps of her dress rested against her delicate skin and she made short work of those, too, carefully pulling them down her arms, letting them fall; letting the dress fall.
Goddamn, she hadn’t been lying about wearing nothing underneath.
But she had added something.
On each of her nipples, metal clamps pinched her flesh and turned those rose pink buds into a deeply flushed fuchsia, hard and demanding attention.
Harvey felt the first tug at his wrists as his hands curled into fists. The urge to reach for her, to pull her body against his own and get his mouth on her, was so fucking strong, he’d almost forgotten why he couldn’t. His teeth snapped down harder on the gag.
Donna smiled, amusement at his predicament obvious, and she approached him. She looked like a cat stalking a canary, but he longed to be her prey.
She stopped at his feet and he could almost see her mind at work, deciding what she wanted to do with him, now that he was completely at her mercy.
He wondered if it would hurt; wondered how she would break him.
Donna hoisted herself onto the table with the graceful ease of someone comfortable in their body. Harvey’s hips bucked slightly when she settled into his lap, one knee on each side of him and that warm heat of her center angled over his cock.
The thing grew hard at the feel of her, begging for an entrance that she denied.
Instead, she lifted her hands again and his eyes followed the movement. She started at her thighs, running the tips of her nails against the skin, making light red marks as she reached her waist.
Harvey could see remnants of past love making; his marks on her body. His initials flashed at him, almost raw pink scars now, and the slit of Donna’s pussy glistened as his gaze continued to roam the path her hand made.
Noting where his attention flagged, Donna made another pass with her fingers, brushing over the “H” and the “S” on her inner thigh, spreading herself for his view in the process.
“I should be pissed that you branded me on a whim,” she said, her voice a husky siren’s call, “But I love seeing these too much. I love knowing that I’m yours, too, Harvey.”
Affection colored the words and he ached for a whole different reason.
He grit his teeth, biting hard into the leather, and Donna’s touch continued up.
He watched as she cupped her breast, the swells overfilling her slender hands and her head kicked back in pleasure as she played with the clamps.
Harvey strained against his binds, wanting so badly to be the one to touch her. He wanted to turn them, to have her on her back with his mouth all over those swelling buds, wringing sharp euphoria from her body.
Donna smiled, feeling his muscles flex and her eyes found his again.
“You said I can do whatever I like,” she reminded him, “You didn’t say I had to do it to you . So do me a favor and lay still. Neither of us will be very happy if you buck me off this table.”
She paired her order with a long, drawn out roll of her hips, grazing everything wet and feminine about her against his throbbing hard on.
He hissed around the bit, using every ounce of control he possessed to keep himself glued to the surface of the table.
Donna still watched him, the smirk on her lips softening.
“I didn’t think I’d like this,” she admitted, her voice just as gentle, “But it’s actually kind of hot. Seeing you like this, seeing how much you want me. And getting to decide how much of me you can have.”
One hand remained on her breast but she dropped the other, dipping it between her legs and Harvey didn’t have to follow the motion to know what she was doing. It was written all over her face as her mouth parted, a quiet gasp leaving her as she rubbed circles over her clit and slid moistened fingers inside of herself.
He was suddenly having issues breathing that had nothing to do with the leather bit in his mouth.
“I like you watching me,” Donna said, her voice arching as much as her back as pleasure took over. She sounded as breathless as him, “I like seeing the hunger in your eyes.”
Making a show of it, she dragged her fingers out of her body and held them up so he could see the slickness that coated them. Her desire, his favorite addiction.
“If you’re hungry, I should give you a taste, shouldn’t I?”
He nodded, too fucking desperate for her to care that it was damn near begging. He’d beg for her if she asked.
Donna did not tease him for his eagerness, or reprimand him for his impatience, as he had done to others.
No, his sweet Princess withheld him nothing, bringing her fingers to his mouth, pushing around the bit, and stroking her taste against his tongue. He lapped at her as best he could around the gag, closing his eyes as her flavor saturated his mouth, replacing the taste of the bit.
She pulled away entirely too soon and he chased her as far as he could, but his restraints only allowed so much movement.
Donna’s hand rested on his shoulder, squeezing his flesh, “What did I say about bucking me off?”
Her brow arched with the reminder and Harvey groaned against the gag, some mix of frustration and a curse that made the sound of her tinkling laugh fill the room.
A room that hadn’t known much laughter before.
But Donna wasn’t laughing at him. She wasn’t stringing him along for humiliation or to teach him a lesson.
She was…playing with him.
A fact made even more obvious when she lowered herself against his chest, the metal clamps on her chest brushing against his, and pressed a damp kiss to his jaw.
“You’re doing so good, baby,” she purred near his ear and her hand ran down his torso, “I can see how hard it is for you to lay here like this. To give up control.”
She kissed him again, this time on his cheekbone, just above the leather strap that ran across his face, “I’ll make it good for you. I promise. Just keep trusting me.”
Her hand closed around his erection.
Harvey wasn’t sure when she had fit it between their bodies, but that first stroke up nearly had his hips jacking off the table again.
He huffed out a breath, moaned, and Donna ran her nose against his, “Shhh, just relax and feel it. Like our first night together, you don’t have to do anything but enjoy, okay?”
Her pumping gained speed, more confident as she worked him and precum dripped from his tip.
Holy fuck, he was already building. His orgasm was coiling deep in his stomach, ricocheting from the pleasure of her palm against him, and Harvey’s head fell back.
He winced and whimpered as she changed speed, working him to an edge then slowing down.
The pressure grew and deepend, until he felt too sensitive to continue. She brushed over the head of his cock and he spasmed, a plea leaving his lips.
Donna released him then, and he made a sound of protest as she slid off of the table, off of him, and stood beside him instead.
He was achingly hard, the length of him had expanded, nearly touching his belly button and he wanted her hands back on him. He wanted the pleasure that only she could give him.
He jerked his hips up, another plea, and Donna took mercy on him.
She took him into her hand, but did not try to bring him to climax. Her touch was gentle and exploratory. She stroked him with slow, deliberate moves, but the sparks of pleasure were enough to make him roll his eyes back.
He felt her other hand travel lower.
She massaged his balls while she pumped him, keeping that leveled pace. It felt nice, almost loving, the way she caressed him.
She lowered her head and took his tip into her mouth and he groaned so loud, the sound echoed off the low ceiling.
His body felt hot, as hot as that perfect mouth of hers, and when Donna hummed around him, he shivered.
It was almost enough to distract him from her other hand.
Her fingertips drifted over his testicles and circled around his inner thighs, the junction where his leg attached to his body; up and down.
Each pass up, she dipped deeper into his groin, below his balls, across his taint.
Her mouth sucked him, saliva dripping all over, and she hummed again when the tips of her fingers pressed against his ass.
“Donna-” he tried to say her name, but it came out mangled, thanks to the gag. Pleasure ebbed to panic again and she paused, lifting off of his cock.
“Shh,” she said again, “I know. But you trust me, remember? Trust me now, Harvey. It’s going to be okay, I promise. I won’t hurt you.”
His mind knew that.
His body, however, was locking down tight. He breathed hard, closed his eyes. Opened them again.
Donna smiled.
She took his cock back into her hand and began moving it, slowly, then faster; intentional pumps that brought the pleasure back to the forefront of his mind.
Then her mouth was on his balls, her saliva dripping down, making a mess of him; lubing him, he realized.
Her fingers began to move, not pushing, not entering, just teasing soft circles against the muscles of his ass, until he was able to relax.
His erection stiffened, he was growing close; fear triggering his adrenaline, driving him higher and higher.
“There we go,” Donna praised him, peppering kisses on his inner thigh, “It’s just us, baby. Just us. And I want to make you feel as good as you make me feel.”
Her words, so soft and genuine, did more to calm him than all the ministrations she levied against his body.
Something uncoiled within him and he felt a prodding pressure. There was something, not quite pain, but a slight discomfort maybe; a foreignness, as Donna’s fingertip pushed past his entrance.
His body responded; tightening, relaxing. He wanted to shove her away and scream at her to stop. He wanted to hold still and see just how different this could feel, coming from someone who loved him.
She didn’t move while he warred. Eyes on his face, watching for any pain, waiting for any signal.
Her patience with him, her care, was what emboldened him to stay put, to allow her to breach this last mental hurdle with him.
With deep breaths and a pounding heart, Harvey nodded and Donna continued.
A finger. One knuckle deep.
Then her mouth was back on him and he jerked.
She worked him in tandem, sucking and pumping, his cock and his ass, until he wasn’t sure where the pleasure was coming from.
Until the only thing that existed was her.
Donna.
The best thing that had ever happened to him.
Donna had known Harvey was a beautiful man from the moment she had first laid eyes on him. But in the midst of an orgasm, aftershocks pinching his brows, flushed and panting, he was devastating.
His lips were parted around the gag she had put on him, his teeth clamped on the bit, and a deep, masculine groan was vibrating through his entire body while she worked him through his pleasure.
The thick jets of his climax shot from him, covering his stomach and groin and she slowly decreased her pace and pressure, withdrawing her finger from his body, using her nails to graze his thigh, soft and comforting.
It was minutes before he settled, his body sagging hard against the table, completely spent. Pride and concern both filled her at the stillness of him.
Then his eyes met hers and he spoke.
Whatever he was attempting to say came out muffled, but when he began yanking on the straps at his wrists, she understood.
Quickly, she reached up and unlatched the gag, pulling it off of him.
“Unstrap me,” he said, as soon as he was able.
Donna did, freeing one wrist, then the other with a speed that she didn’t have time to appreciate before Harvey had grabbed her.
“Harv-” she was cut off as his brute strength dragged her up the table and onto his chest.
His ankles were still bound, but he didn’t seem to care about that.
He didn’t seem to care about anything, in fact, that wasn’t getting her where he wanted her.
Up his body.
On his face.
He pulled her right into a seated position, parting her legs over his head and nearly getting himself kneed in the nose as he did so, but he was a determined man.
Donna was barely able to find her balance before his mouth was on her core, hot and hungry, devouring her with a ferocity that made her shout out.
His arms looped under her legs and he held her in place, forced her to endure the onslaught he brought against her and then he was moaning, as if her pleasure was his own.
She’d been wet before, her body riled by the excitement of this new venture, but now, she flowed for him like a river and he lapped her up like he’d been thirsty all his life.
She came with a loud cry, falling forward and depending completely on Harvey’s grip on her legs to avoid catapulting over the edge of the table.
He held her, stroking her with his tongue until she was too sensitive to bear it, and only then, did he help her lift off of him.
She ended up in his lap, with him sitting up, their bodies hot and sticky from release while they panted, trying to catch their breath.
Harvey’s head tilted forward, bumping hers as he pressed their foreheads together.
“I love you.”
Donna smiled, “I love you, too.”
They cleaned up as well as they could with the sink in the room before dressing and calling a cab.
Neither of them spoke about the experience they had just shared, but Donna could sense a shift.
Harvey was cuddled close to her, his face in her hair for most of the ride back to his apartment building and when his lips weren’t finding patches of her skin to brush kisses onto, he was murmuring soft words into her ear about how beautiful she was and how much he loved her.
The series of hurdles it took to get into his apartment had once felt so intimidating to Donna, but tonight, it felt like safety and privacy. They climbed floors in the elevators, passed the locked doors and the keypad that Harvey had managed to have fixed at some point, until they were in the familiar space of his foyer.
“I love this place,” she admitted, taking in the city view.
The lights were still out, so the illumination from the surrounding skyscrapers lit the whole room with a quiet, blue glow.
Harvey, who had been setting the alarm after locking the door, came up behind her and wrapped his arms around her waist.
“Then stay here with me,” he said.
Donna sank back into him, resting her head against his neck, “I thought I already was.”
He brushed his nose against her ear, “I mean permanently. Let your apartment go and stay with me.”
Surprised, she turned from the view to face him.
“You…want us to move in together?”
Harvey shrugged, “Easier to keep you out of trouble that way.”
“Me?!” she laughed and he pulled her closer with a smile.
“We’ve already been living together at the estate. This would make it more official,” he said, “A room there is fine. But a place here…completely ours…”
It painted a lovely picture, she had to admit.
Donna wrapped her arms around his neck, letting her own smile grow as she beamed up at him, “And you’d be okay with that? Sharing your space?”
Not that she wasn’t enjoying their current cohabitation, but she knew a room at Robert’s was different than sharing an apartment; one that had been his fortress from the world for long before she’d come around.
Harvey studied her, bringing a hand up to cup her cheek, “For you, Princess, I could endure it.”
She hummed a quiet noise of acknowledgement, still smiling, and sidled up closer to him, “I do really enjoy that tub of yours.”
A smirk pulled the corner of his mouth up, “Then it’s settled. Now, what do you say we go soak in that tub? With a glass of wine, maybe?”
Donna considered the offer, “Wine. Or…do you have any joints left?”
Amusement colored his features, “Fucking then getting high? You’re going to make this a habit.”
She chuckled, pulling from his arms and taking his hand, “There are worse ones to have. And for the record, you haven’t fucked me yet, mister.”
Harvey grabbed her waist again as she led them through the room, “An oversight I plan to rectify soon.”
Donna spun on him in the bedroom doorway, grabbing his face, “Another time. I think after our bath, I’d prefer to spend the night a different way.”
His brow arched and she leaned up on her toes, teasing her lips over his, “I want you to make love to me, Harvey. Soft. Slow. I want it to last for hours. I want you to kiss every inch of me.”
“That,” he said with a light exhale, “I can do.”
He leaned forward, capturing her mouth in a promising kiss and walked her backwards into the room.
Donna melted beneath his touches, the way his hands drifted down her sides and up again, caressing her tender breasts, where the clamps they’d removed had left her sensitive and sore.
His thumbs brushed her nipples gently over the silky fabric of her dress and he sighed as they perked.
“Go start the water,” he instructed, “I’ll get the weed.”
Getting high with Harvey had been an enjoyable experience the first time around. This time, warm in the tub while stroking each other's bodies with lingering touches, sharing kissing and smoke between them, Donna felt like she was floating in paradise.
She traced the scars that littered his skin, kissed each one, and he returned the favor, focusing extra attention on the newest one; the gunshot wound above her collarbone, where his own bullet had pierced through her.
“I realized something tonight,” he said quietly, pulling her from her drifting thoughts.
“What’s that?” Donna asked.
Harvey swallowed and it took him a moment to speak again.
“Tonight, when you restrained me…it didn’t scare me as much as the thought of losing you did. That day in Jessica’s office, when I thought there was a chance…I was petrified by the possibility. I didn’t feel that tonight. Fear, yes. But nothing like before.”
He ran his fingertips along her spine, “Being tied down isn’t my greatest fear anymore. Being without you is.”
Donna stared at him, at the open vulnerability in his gaze, and had the oddest urge to cry.
For all they had endured. For all they’d overcome. For the future that still awaited them.
She pressed her fingers to his lips and he kissed them.
“You’ll never be without me,” she promised, “I’m not going anywhere and you’d kill anyone who tried to keep me from you.”
“With my bare fucking hands,” he agreed and she smiled, dropping a kiss to his cheek and nuzzled against his skin.
“Hopefully you won’t have to, though. I think I’ve had enough killing to last for a good long while. Enough killing. Enough deals. Enough of all of it.”
He didn’t disagree, but his hold on her tightened and he kissed her wrist, then the crease of her arm, turning them until she was submerged in the water and he hovered over her, at rest between her thighs.
“Need a vacation, do you?”
Donna grinned, “Yes. Preferably somewhere tropical. With a beach. I want-”
“Hot lifeguards and cocktails with umbrellas,” he recalled what she had told him the night they’d swam in the estate pool.
“The cocktails, yes,” she admitted, “But I’d be willing to forgo the hot lifeguards if you promise to give me mouth to mouth instead.”
That earned her a laugh and the sound was beautiful.
“My mouth,” he placed a kiss to the tip of her nose, “Like the rest of me, is all yours.”
Donna smirked and lifted her hand to brush strands of his hair back over his ear. She let her palms come to rest on his neck, after.
“Full lip service, huh? I bet you offer that to all the girls,” she teased.
“No,” Harvey assured her, his expression strangely solemn, “My lips have only ever been yours, Princess.”
She chuckled again, thinking he was teasing her, but when his expression didn’t change, Donna realized there was something more to his statement.
As she drank in the look he gave her, another revelation dawned on her. Something that she probably should have considered a long time ago, but had never crossed her mind.
“Harvey…have you not ever ki-”
“What do you think?” he asked, not unkindly, but as direct as he always was.
His abuse had started so young.
His ideas of sex and intimacy askewed for so long…
The longer she thought about it, the more Donna realized she wasn't surprised at all.
Only ever mind, indeed .
She took notice when Harvey’s features clouded, as he withdrew, sheepishness or embarrassment taking over in her silence.
Donna grabbed his face before he could pull away.
“You must be a quick study then,” she praised, knowing the comfort he found in the validation, “Because you’re really fucking good at it.”
That brought his smile back and, as if to prove her point, he leaned in and kissed her soundly.
It was sweet, teasing, and absolutely perfect.
He was perfect.
“Why don’t we dry off?” Harvey suggested when the kiss had ended, “And I can show you what else I’m good at.”
It was impossible to deny such a generous offer and Donna let him go so they could stand.
“You know how to spoil a girl. I’ll give you that.”
She heard his chuckle as she turned to grab a towel to wrap around herself, but his arms enveloped her before the fabric.
“Get used to it,” he purred in her ear, “Because you’re my Princess to spoil, Donna.”
His .
Donna gave herself up to the notion, to his arms, to this new but permanent reality that was entirely theirs to make of it what they wanted.
And what she wanted was Harvey.
“Until the day I die,” she swore to him and felt his mouth against her shoulder; a gentle kiss.
“Even after that,” he countered, placing another kiss on her neck, “I’d follow you to the grave.”
There was nowhere she could go that he wouldn't find her. He’d assured her of that more than once and she’d never doubted it to be true.
They were going to be together forever. For better or for worse.
And what a lovely truth that was.