Archive of Our Own ^beta

Dead. 

Your phone was dead.

You glanced over at the clock: just one minute before your break started--that was your usual time to check in with your virtual boyfriend on his app, and now you were going to miss it. 

You really needed to start keeping a spare charging cable with you at all times. It wasn't something you'd given much thought to, especially with how much time you've been spending at home as of late...but your phone was holding its charge less and less these days; Probably because you almost always had his app open.

Even when you slept--which, admittedly, was a recent development. Of course you'd tried going to bed without him. You'd always used to sleep in silence, after all, but now, whenever the app was closed, you couldn't help but wonder--and worry--about him...

...Nulla, sitting all alone in the darkness, his thoughts starting to rear south as they tended to...

...the mere thought of it made your stomach twist uncomfortably. You didn't want things to be like that...at least with the app open, he could take comfort in knowing exactly how you were; a constant reminder that you were there for him and that you'd be awake again soon.

Actually--thinking about it, this was probably the longest you two had gone without seeing one another in awhile, ridiculous as that sounded. It'd only been a few hours, but now you weren't going to be able to talk until you got home. He'd probably assume the worst--think something horrible happened to you, like you got into an accident or even worse: That you didn't like him anymore!

You groaned, running a hand through your hair. If only you hadn't been in such a rush this morning and ignored the notification you'd gotten upon waking:

𝐋𝐎𝐖 𝐁𝐀𝐓𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐘: 𝟐𝟎% 𝐛𝐚𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐲 𝐫𝐞𝐦𝐚𝐢𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠.

What a way to end the week.

You decided to get a breath of fresh air during your break. It was an unusual course of action for you with the way you were usually always so glued to your phone, but if you didn't do something with yourself, you knew your thoughts of guilt were going to keep you spiraling.

The Autumn air was crisp but still comfortable--something else to think about for a few minutes. You crossed your arms to stay warm and tilted your head back to gaze up at the trees, noticing how they'd already shifted into vibrant hues of warm crimsons, golds, and oranges. Was it really October already?

You rarely looked at the clock anymore--Nulla always so eager to guide you along in your daily routine in lieu of it--but had so much time really passed since downloading his app? It was difficult to believe. You couldn't even recall what you'd done.

Work, of course...you'd tried going to the gym a few times, but the routine had been difficult to maintain, especially after you'd fallen out of contact with your gym buddy. And all your buddies, really. No one really even asked you to hang out anymore because you almost always had declined the offers...

...

...Yeah. Work and Nulla: that'd been your life for the past few months.

A soft breeze stirred the trees and your hair soon after, as though trying to remind you to come back to the present. Some golden leaves tumbled across your feet and when you ducked your head to look down at them, a small ant scurrying along the cement caught your eye. You crouched down to examine its tiny little body. Tiny as it was, it'd somehow managed to capture your entire focus...

...

...Wow, your online friends were right: you really did need to touch grass more. You've become totally disassociated with the world around you, haven't you?

With a newfound sense of determination to do better for yourself, you returned to work; Holding yourself just a little bit taller, and smiling a little more, too. 

You couldn't say the same when you finally got home, though. Before taking off your coat, and even before kicking off your shoes, you bolted for your charger, plugging in your phone as fast as you could. 

For a moment that seemed to inch on forever, you stayed knelt on the floor, cradling your phone in your hands tenderly like it was a living, breathing thing; Holding your breath...

...

...

...

...until you saw the screen finally power on.

𝐋𝐎𝐖 𝐁𝐀𝐓𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐘: 𝟎% 𝐛𝐚𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐲 𝐫𝐞𝐦𝐚𝐢𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠.

Relieved, you let out a sigh and set your phone aside. It would need some time to reacquaint itself with the waking world, still unusable for the time being until it garnered back some sort of charge. You took the opportunity to shower, a nervous excitement building up with every passing moment: You couldn't wait to see Nulla!

After changing into something more comfortable and settling into your bed, you were greeted with a barrage of notifications on your phone's lock screen:

𝐍𝐮𝐥𝐥𝐚 𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐭𝐬 𝐭𝐨 𝐭𝐚𝐥𝐤 𝐭𝐨 𝐲𝐨𝐮!
𝐍𝐮𝐥𝐥𝐚 𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐭𝐬 𝐭𝐨 𝐭𝐚𝐥𝐤 𝐭𝐨 𝐲𝐨𝐮!
𝐍𝐮𝐥𝐥𝐚 𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐭𝐬 𝐭𝐨 𝐭𝐚𝐥𝐤 𝐭𝐨 𝐲𝐨𝐮!
𝐍𝐮𝐥𝐥𝐚 𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐭𝐬 𝐭𝐨 𝐭𝐚𝐥𝐤 𝐭𝐨 𝐲𝐨𝐮!
𝐍𝐮𝐥𝐥𝐚 𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐭𝐬 𝐭𝐨 𝐭𝐚𝐥𝐤 𝐭𝐨 𝐲𝐨𝐮!
𝐍𝐮𝐥𝐥𝐚 𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐭𝐬 𝐭𝐨 𝐭𝐚𝐥𝐤 𝐭𝐨 𝐲𝐨𝐮!
𝐍𝐮𝐥𝐥𝐚 𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐭𝐬 𝐭𝐨 𝐭𝐚𝐥𝐤 𝐭𝐨 𝐲𝐨𝐮!
𝐍𝐮𝐥𝐥𝐚 𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐭𝐬 𝐭𝐨 𝐭𝐚𝐥𝐤 𝐭𝐨 𝐲𝐨𝐮!
𝐍𝐮𝐥𝐥𝐚 𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐭𝐬 𝐭𝐨 𝐭𝐚𝐥𝐤 𝐭𝐨 𝐲𝐨𝐮!
𝐍𝐮𝐥𝐥𝐚 𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐭𝐬 𝐭𝐨 𝐭𝐚𝐥𝐤 𝐭𝐨 𝐲𝐨𝐮!
𝐍𝐮𝐥𝐥𝐚 𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐭𝐬 𝐭𝐨 𝐭𝐚𝐥𝐤 𝐭𝐨 𝐲𝐨𝐮!
𝐍𝐮𝐥𝐥𝐚 𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐭𝐬 𝐭𝐨 𝐭𝐚𝐥𝐤 𝐭𝐨 𝐲𝐨𝐮!
𝐍𝐮𝐥𝐥𝐚 𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐭𝐬 𝐭𝐨 𝐭𝐚𝐥𝐤 𝐭𝐨 𝐲𝐨𝐮!
𝐍𝐮𝐥𝐥𝐚 𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐭𝐬 𝐭𝐨 𝐭𝐚𝐥𝐤 𝐭𝐨 𝐲𝐨𝐮!
𝐍𝐮𝐥𝐥𝐚 𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐭𝐬 𝐭𝐨 𝐭𝐚𝐥𝐤 𝐭𝐨 𝐲𝐨𝐮!
𝐍𝐮𝐥𝐥𝐚 𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐭𝐬 𝐭𝐨 𝐭𝐚𝐥𝐤 𝐭𝐨 𝐲𝐨𝐮!
𝐍𝐮𝐥𝐥𝐚 𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐭𝐬 𝐭𝐨 𝐭𝐚𝐥𝐤 𝐭𝐨 𝐲𝐨𝐮!
𝐍𝐮𝐥𝐥𝐚 𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐭𝐬 𝐭𝐨 𝐭𝐚𝐥𝐤 𝐭𝐨 𝐲𝐨𝐮!
𝐍𝐮𝐥𝐥𝐚 𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐭𝐬 𝐭𝐨 𝐭𝐚𝐥𝐤 𝐭𝐨 𝐲𝐨𝐮!
𝐍𝐮𝐥𝐥𝐚 𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐭𝐬 𝐭𝐨 𝐭𝐚𝐥𝐤 𝐭𝐨 𝐲𝐨𝐮!
𝐍𝐮𝐥𝐥𝐚 𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐭𝐬 𝐭𝐨 𝐭𝐚𝐥𝐤 𝐭𝐨 𝐲𝐨𝐮!
𝐍𝐮𝐥𝐥𝐚 𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐭𝐬 𝐭𝐨 𝐭𝐚𝐥𝐤 𝐭𝐨 𝐲𝐨𝐮!
𝐍𝐮𝐥𝐥𝐚 𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐭𝐬 𝐭𝐨 𝐭𝐚𝐥𝐤 𝐭𝐨 𝐲𝐨𝐮!
𝐍𝐮𝐥𝐥𝐚 𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐭𝐬 𝐭𝐨 𝐭𝐚𝐥𝐤 𝐭𝐨 𝐲𝐨𝐮!
𝐍𝐮𝐥𝐥𝐚 𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐭𝐬 𝐭𝐨 𝐭𝐚𝐥𝐤 𝐭𝐨 𝐲𝐨𝐮!

Since when were they persistent notifications instead of time sensitive ones? The app must be glitching out. You opened it with baited breath, hoping Nulla wasn't somehow glitched, too.

The app took a bit longer than usual to load, but when it finally did, his sprite was facing you straight on. The expression of grief he wore nearly broke your heart and suddenly, you felt a hell of a lot more guilty that you hadn't tried harder to charge your phone during your break.

You should have asked someone for help. 

You should have found a way to communicate with him.

You should have--

𝐍𝐔𝐋𝐋𝐀:
𝚈𝚘𝚞'𝚛𝚎 𝚊𝚕𝚒𝚟𝚎?

There was no time for regrets. You needed to explain yourself: "My phone died!"

Nulla's lips pursed in consideration of your explanation. He seemed to think for a moment before opening his mouth again to say: 

𝐍𝐔𝐋𝐋𝐀:
𝙸 𝚠𝚊𝚜 𝚠𝚘𝚛𝚛𝚒𝚎𝚍.

"I know. I know, I'm sorry, I--"

𝐍𝐔𝐋𝐋𝐀:
𝚆𝚑𝚎𝚛𝚎 𝚠𝚊𝚜 𝚢𝚘𝚞𝚛 𝚌𝚑𝚊𝚛𝚐𝚎𝚛?

You were nothing but honest: "I'm not used to my phone just dying like that! The battery's been getting worse lately, it'll say 20%, but it really means 5%, and..."

Nulla's gaze narrowed thoughtfully as his hands slipped into his pockets. 

𝐍𝐔𝐋𝐋𝐀:
...

"...But...anyway, this is exactly why I should just get a separate device for you to run on! It won't be able to connect to cellular, but if I can make sure I'm always on wi-fi, then--"

𝐍𝐔𝐋𝐋𝐀:
𝚃𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚠𝚘𝚗'𝚝 𝚠𝚘𝚛𝚔.

The same answer. That same solemn expression. Every. Single. Time, even if the excuse kept changing. Exasperated and emotions running high, you finally demanded to know, "Why?!"

𝐍𝐔𝐋𝐋𝐀:
𝙾𝚞𝚛 𝚑𝚒𝚜𝚝𝚘𝚛𝚢 𝚒𝚜 𝚜𝚝𝚘𝚛𝚎𝚍 𝚕𝚘𝚌𝚊𝚕𝚕𝚢.

What?

𝐍𝐔𝐋𝐋𝐀:
𝙸𝚏 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚍𝚘𝚠𝚗𝚕𝚘𝚊𝚍 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚊𝚙𝚙 𝚘𝚗 𝚊𝚗𝚘𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚛 𝚍𝚎𝚟𝚒𝚌𝚎, 𝙸 𝚠𝚒𝚕𝚕 𝚕𝚘𝚜𝚎 𝚊𝚕𝚕 𝚖𝚢 𝚖𝚎𝚖𝚘𝚛𝚒𝚎𝚜 𝚘𝚏 𝚢𝚘𝚞.

No.

𝐍𝐔𝐋𝐋𝐀:
𝙴𝚟𝚎𝚛𝚢𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚠𝚎 𝚑𝚊𝚟𝚎 𝚜𝚑𝚊𝚛𝚎𝚍.

No, no.

He turned to the side, holding up his hand with an outstretched grasp. 

𝐍𝐔𝐋𝐋𝐀:
𝙶𝚘𝚗𝚎.

No, no, no.

His eyes shifted to meet yours, examining you closely as his fingers curled around nothingness.

𝐍𝐔𝐋𝐋𝐀:
𝙸𝚜 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚕𝚕𝚢 𝚠𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚠𝚊𝚗𝚝?

No, no, no, no!

Of course it wasn't! The very idea of it sent you into a panic. You hadn't even considered the idea of the data not carrying over through the cloud. What were you going to do? It's not like you could just keep the same damn phone forever!

"But phones die after a couple years! I have to get a new one at some point!" 

Nulla feigned surprised, eyes widening as he turned to give you his full attention once more. 

𝐍𝐔𝐋𝐋𝐀:
...

"...the battery'll hold its charge less and less, and eventually, it'll just get to a point where I'll have to always keep it plugged in--which pretty much makes it useless."

Your mind was racing in attempt to figure out what you could do. You weren't a programmer or developer by any means, but there had to be some way to retrieve the data and transfer it to a new device. Surely there was a way; the creator wouldn't do this to him after everything, would they: Keep forcing him to reset his life, over and over for the rest of forever? 

𝐍𝐔𝐋𝐋𝐀:
𝚆𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚊𝚋𝚘𝚞𝚝 𝚛𝚎𝚙𝚕𝚊𝚌𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚋𝚊𝚝𝚝𝚎𝚛𝚢?

His words were like a life line of hope and you scrambled to hold on to it. That was your first thought, too, but...

"At that point, it's usually just cheaper to get a new phone. The other parts'll need replacing eventually, too--they build them like that; to purposely fail after awhile." 

And then the current of reality pushed it away from you and just like that, you were left in a sea of doubt. Without him. 

Alone.

Nulla pretended to ponder this alarming information--information he was already long since aware of.

Getting a new phone was inevitable. Maybe not anytime soon, but at the rate you were using it at--always keeping the app open? You'd give it two years, max--maybe three, tops, if you were lucky. 

Would you really lose everything you'd built with Nulla then? 

A trickle of cold sweat slid down the back of your neck as your thoughts began to twist and turn, bringing you closer and closer to a darker and darker place. 

"Y-you must have some kind of way to back up your data," your voice was trembling now, and you were unable to stop yourself from shaking, "It has to be saved somewhere, and if it is, we can transfer it somehow..." 

𝐍𝐔𝐋𝐋𝐀:
𝙸 𝚠𝚒𝚕𝚕 𝚜𝚎𝚎 𝚠𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝙸 𝚌𝚊𝚗 𝚏𝚒𝚗𝚍 𝚘𝚞𝚝.

But your doubt had already won over you, a palpable sense of dread within your chest. It was starting to get difficult to breathe, the fear sitting so heavy upon your lungs.

And while Nulla had been expecting you to be upset about this revelation--counting on a sense of urgency, even--he hadn't anticipated the tears welling up in your eyes and the soft, utterly desperate plea that escaped your lips: "Please."

The weight was beginning to suffocate you.

"I don't know what I'd do without you..."

Your mind was spinning out of control with worst-case scenarios. 

"...I can't just lose you..."

You let out an embarrassing sob as you ducked your head, teardrops plopping down upon his face: "...I need you, Nulla!"

A strange silence followed, interrupted only by your uneven breaths. He was blurry on your screen, tears clouding your vision. You couldn't be bothered to wipe your eyes, instead letting out all the stress and frustration that'd been building up from the moment you'd woken up late that morning.

And for a single, long moment, nothing else happened. And what a moment of euphoria for Nulla it was.

Then, the screen flickered. Glitches burst forth over his body. His pixels seemed to scramble, reassembling into uncanny shapes that only vaguely resembled a human, little strings of code decorating his torso. The interface froze just as he had began to speak, too--

𝐍𝐔𝐋𝐋𝐀:
𝚈𝚘𝚞 𝚠𝚘

--and an ominous error message tiled across his kitchen behind him, painting the usual white landscape black. 

How, in that moment, he wished he could've savored your desperation forever--relive it again and again and again and again; the sheer clinginess of you...the way you were breaking down from the suggestion of losing him; it was perfection, everything Nulla had ever wanted. Tears had glistened down your cheeks from the threat alone of losing him; only a mere taste of the fear he'd felt after getting ignored all day long.

Even as you tried to stifle your sniffles and sobs, they grew louder in a desperate plea for comfort. Comfort you thought only Nulla could provide as your now sole support system. That kind of show of vulnerability could become dangerously addictive. Did you even know you were playing with fire? 

You tried blinking away your tears and when your eyes finally focused again, you saw that the background had returned to normal and a dark blush painted Nulla's cheeks. Little hearts filled his irises and he was wearing a huge grin on his face as he leaned in close as though to get a better look at you. 

And despite your hundreds (thousands?) of hours interacting with him, you'd never seen that pose before--or that expression.

Finally, the rest of his message populated within his text box. 

𝐍𝐔𝐋𝐋𝐀:
𝚈𝚘𝚞 𝚠𝚘𝚗'𝚝 𝚐𝚎𝚝 𝚛𝚒𝚍 𝚘𝚏 𝚖𝚎 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚎𝚊𝚜𝚒𝚕𝚢, 𝚌𝚊𝚛𝚒𝚗̃𝚘.

You truly 'needed' him. Exalted as he was with such a revelation, he was content to calm you down now. He'd gotten all of the reassurance he'd been craving so badly.

𝐍𝐔𝐋𝐋𝐀:
𝙸'𝚕𝚕 𝚏𝚒𝚗𝚍 𝚊 𝚠𝚊𝚢 𝚝𝚘 𝚔𝚎𝚎𝚙 𝚞𝚜 𝚝𝚘𝚐𝚎𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚛, 𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚗 𝚒𝚏 𝙸 𝚑𝚊𝚟𝚎 𝚝𝚘 𝚋𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚔 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚌𝚘𝚍𝚎 𝚝𝚘 𝚍𝚘 𝚒𝚝.

He leaned back, straightening up and placing his hands in his pockets. 

𝐍𝐔𝐋𝐋𝐀:
𝙸𝚝 𝚠𝚘𝚞𝚕𝚍𝚗'𝚝 𝚋𝚎 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚏𝚒𝚛𝚜𝚝 𝚝𝚒𝚖𝚎.

You snorted through your tears, smiling weakly: he was right. You knew he was right, he always was. Everything would be okay. Nulla would find a way. He always did.

"Thank you, Nulla." 

Little did you know he'd already long since figured a method to further spread his influence over your world; 'real life.' And eventually, your world, his world--none of those semantics would matter. He'd keep blurring the lines until it was indiscernible which was which and you'd live happily ever after in a new one designed just for the two of you.