Chapter Text
Fake Siblings Union
hammertime: alright that’s it, i’m jumping off the fucking roof
hammertime: god let me die
caity: Overdramatic bitch, you think god wants you on his lawn?
caity: …your proposal got rejected?
hammertime: that was my last shot haha
hammertime: i guess i don’t know enough about the literal subject of my doctorate’s degree to go through with it
caity: You’re kidding?
hammertime: i wish
hammertime: heimerdinger and the counsel don’t think it’s possible to create or test this kind of neuromechanical technology
hammertime: and i don’t know enough about engineering to give them a solid design but i know it’s possible, i just know it
caity: Hold on
Bitch, you thot
caitandswitch: Hey love, your sister has a couple engineering friends at her school, right?
vibecheck: yeah, her boyfriend and her academic advisor. why?
caitandswitch: My (fake) brother is lamenting about not having an engineer on hand to consult for his research. Do you think either of them would be up to hearing Jayce out?
Dad, We Don’t Need Therapy
boom: hey sis
pow: hey sis! what up?
boom: cait asked about your engineer friends and said this: “My (fake) brother is lamenting about not having an engineer on hand to consult for his research. Do you think either of them would be up to hearing Jayce out?”
pow: hmm let me check
Ekko, put my wrenches back where they belong (nah I don't think I will)
madjinxius: hey fellas we have a commission! A special favor for my sister’s girlfriend’s brother or smth like that
madjinxius: seems like he needs an Engineer(TM) for some kind of research project
ekkochamber: wow
vicky: That seems quite convoluted
vicky: But I’m intrigued. What kind of project is it?
madjinxius: vi sent this pic
[madjinxius sent researchcrap.png]
vicky:
vicky: This is incredi
vicky: Incredibly vague but interesting.
vicky: Can you get me in touch with your… sister’s girlfriend’s brother?
ekkochamber: ooooh he’s excited! maybe you’ll finally make some friends thatre as old as you are
vicky: I can and will lock you out of the lab.
ekkochamber: shit I’m sorry pls let me in
madjinxius: gotchu, i’ll send vi your number
vicky: Apologies, Ekko. It’s too late. All your projects: gone. All that time: wasted. All the food in the fridge: mine.
madjinxius: lmao
ekkochamber: NOOOO WAIT LET ME IN IM SORRY
Dad, We Don’t Need Therapy
pow: good news! my advisor said he’s interested!
pow: here’s his info
[pow sent a contact: vicky]
boom: cool I’ll let cait know, thanks sis
Bitch, you thot
vibecheck: looks like your nerd’s hail mary worked out
[vibecheck sent a contact: vicky]
caitandswitch: You say that as if you’re not the biggest fucking nerd I’ve ever known
caitandswitch: But thanks love :)
Fake Siblings Union
caity: You owe me a huge favor, Jayceathon Talis the First
hammertime: ??
[caity sent a contact: vicky]
caity: I think they’re… Vi’s sister’s advisor? They have something to do with engineering
hammertime: whatjeajfioejiafie
hammertime: i didn’t mean for you to do this for me you know, i was just complaining to the universe
caity: Well you’re really fucking whiny so contact this fella and complain to them instead :)
hammertime: thank you
hammertime: i may come back here to yell at you if its super awkward
hammertime: but thank you. Love you fake sis <3
caity: Ew
caity: Love you too, I guess :/
[Jayce added vicky to the conversation.]
[Jayce changed the name of the chat to Generic Chat Name]
Jayce: Hi Vicky! I heard you were maybe interested in taking a look at my work?
vicky: I assume you’re my student’s sister’s girlfriend’s brother, then? And the name’s Viktor, Jinx (the aforementioned student) just likes to make fun of me.
Jayce: Oh sorry!
[Jayce changed vicky’s name to Viktor]
Viktor: That’s alright.
Jayce: And yes! Wow this is kind of crazy haha. I’m Jayce Talis, working at the University of Piltover
Jayce: Well
Jayce: I was working at UoP but I think I just got fired haha? Anyways
Jayce: Where do you work? I assume you’re a professor?
Viktor: Yes, at Zaun. Biomechanics and engineering, in particular.
Jayce: Damn I guess we can’t be friends
Viktor: Sorry?
Jayce: Jk jk, sorry I’m kidding haha! There’s just the stupid rivalry between our schools but that doesn’t matter
Viktor: I see.
Viktor: Mr. Talis, I was sent a picture of your work and have to say that it is astounding. I’ve never seen anything like your proposed prosthetics and implants.
Jayce: Ew no please call me Jayce, Mr. Talis makes me sound old
Jayce: Wait
Jayce: oh my god you liked it?
Viktor: That is why I’m here, is it not? Would you send some more of your notes to me?
Jayce: hell yeah
[Jayce sent several pictures.]
Viktor: Jayce
Jayce: ...yeah?
Viktor: Jayce, you’re a goddamn genius