Chapter Text
Said ‘coffee date’ would happen in about two sichens, which was more than enough time for Xiao Jiu to go back to his house and bring some clothes for Yue Qi –considering how differently the two brothers were dressed compared to him, he could only guess that his robes weren’t normal in this world.
His clothes were similar to the ones Xiao Jiu was still wearing, which meant that Yue Qingyuan felt slightly naked going out, but not so much as he would if he had tried something from Shen Yuan’s more revealing closet.
Xiao Jiu didn’t want to meet the author, claiming that the urge to throttle the guy for putting him through everything he had would become too tempting to let him concentrate during the conversation, so he tasked Shen Yuan with getting to the bottom of this situation in his stead. Then, the younger brother had given Yue Qingyuan a face mask –which he told him how to put on after saying that it would be necessary for the city– and took another one for himself. Even Xiao Jiu had taken one from his pocket to put over his face, so he guessed that they were common.
With Xuan Su securely put away inside a qiankun pouch that he stored in a man’s purse that Shen Yuan gave him, the three of them left the apartment.
He understood the need for the face masks immediately: the air was extremely polluted! It felt worse than the Immortal Alliance Conference after the Endless Abyss had closed, that was how bad it was. In fact, he had a coughing fit as soon as they stepped foot outside, so he was forced to lean against Xiao Jiu while he got doubled over.
When it ended, he noticed that Shen Yuan’s free arm –for he had brought his cane with him– was patting his back. He sent him a smile that he hoped was visible even with his face mask on, and told the brothers that they could continue.
There were two weird horseless carriages waiting for them. Xiao Jiu wished them luck before mounting in his, and Shen Yuan led him to the other one.
The windows, although shut, were made of glass, so Yue Qingyuan looked through it while they drove at dizzying speeds. Everything around them was gray. The houses were huge, gray, and completely geometrical, and there weren’t any trees anywhere in sight. The people were mostly dressed in blacks and whites, as well as the occasional pale color. Even the sky was clouded, probably polluted, so he couldn’t see the blue that should’ve been visible at this hour. It was extremely depressing.
It was also fascinating, but he was certain that he wouldn’t want to live here. Even if Xiao Jiu was here…
Ah, what a mess.
They arrived in front of a place that clearly served food, which Shen Yuan called a café. As soon as they got inside, they were led to a table, so they sat down while his companion looked at something in his black box.
“Airplane should be about to arrive.”
As soon as he spoke, the café’s door opened. In came a chubby individual with curly hair not unlike Luo Binghe’s, if the half–demon boy ever became unfilial enough to cut it down to shoulder–lenght. The guy put his hands on his knees and wheezed extremely loudly, which caught everyone’s attention inside the small establishment.
“Fuck, I came way too quickly,” he said in a tone low enough that only Yue Qingyuan’s cultivator hearing managed to catch it. Then, he turned around.
Before Yue Qi could process the situation, he was already halfway towards the stranger. The guy flinched, and he could already see the waitress walking towards them in order to diffuse the situation, but before anyone could truly react, he blurted out, “Shang–shidi?”
The Shang Qinghua lookalike’s eyes widened. “What?”
“What?!” That was Shen Yuan’s voice, coming from their table. “That’s him?”
“Oh, my gods.” The guy who could only be his Shang–shidi looked at him and then at Shen Yuan, before laughing in a familiarly awkward way. “At first I thought that the infamous Peerless Cucumber had officially gone insane, but now I fear I’m in a hidden camera show.”
“Don’t say that name out loud!” Shen Yuan hissed from the table.
Yue Qingyuan couldn’t help but smile at their antics. The situation was so familiar, despite how unfamiliar everything else was, that he felt his heart ache. Even so, he bowed slightly at Shang Qinghua and asked in a whisper, “Apologies for the brunt introduction. Are you Airplane Shooting Towards the Sky?”
The guy blinked. “I never thought that the Yue Qingyuan would ever refer to me with that name…” He shook his head. “I mean. Yes. Pleased to officially meet you.”
“The pleasure is mine.”
He led Airplane to the table. As soon as they sat down, he saw Shen Yuan scowling at the author. “So you’re Airplane.”
“And you’re Peerless Cucumber,” Shang Qinghua said, looking smug– for all of two seconds, until his face crumbled into a begging expression that Yue Qingyuan could recognize even with his eyes closed. “Please, don’t dox me.”
“Dox–? How am I supposed to dox you, you hack, if I only know that we live in the same city?!” Shen Yuan scoffed. “I don’t know your address, I don’t even know your name…”
“Oh. It’s Xiang Fei.”
“And even if I did– wait a minute, what?!” He pointed a finger at Airplane. “Your name is Xiang Fei?! That’s a normal name! How the fuck did you end up with–?”
“With that username in Zhongdian? Precisely because my name is extremely common! All variants of it were already taken!”
“So you decided to write a dick joke.”
“Like you’re one to talk, Peerless Cucumber.”
Shen Yuan’s eyes narrowed. “Excuse you?”
“N–Nothing!” Xiang Fei squeaked. “So… I’ve told you my name. What’s yours?”
“...Shen Yuan.”
“I'm sorry, what?!” Xiang Fei asked, snorting. “Is the infamous Peerless Cucumber a Shen? Oh, the forums would explode if they knew…”
“The forums would also explode if I doxxed you, you absolute hack!” Shen Yuan yelled.
Yue Qingyuan put a hand on his arm, trying to calm him down. However, it was the waitress who dispelled the situation, approaching their table with a small notebook in hand and a face that promised to kick them out if they continued disrupting the quiet inside her café.
“Do the gentlemen know what they are going to get?” She asked, her face a perfect mask of politeness that Yue Qingyuan recognized for the years he had worn an identical one, while leading the most powerful sect in the Jianghu. Even Xiang Fei seemed to recognize her veiled threat for what it was, considering how quickly he stopped laughing.
To think that Yue Qingyuan would ever see his own politician's mask on a retail worker's face…
Just how odd could this world be?