Chapter Text
In hindsight, it had been a really terrible idea.
One of the worst he's ever had. Then again, when it comes to the Joker, Jason's judgment tends to get... skewed.
Top that off with the fact that he was shitfaced, having drank his weight in the strongest alcohol the bartender had brought him. And the conversation he'd overheard from some randos sitting next to him at the bar hadn't helped, either.
"Ugh, I swear to God, Arkham has got to be the shittiest prison on the planet. How does it keep having so many breakouts?"
Jason looked over at the man, vision doubling before he tried to focus on the tiny TV behind the bartender. And he saw it. That damn, pasty face, yellowed teeth, inhumanly wide smile, eyes that carry more madness than the whole fucking Asylum put together.
"- broken out of Arkham again. The GCPD are looking for clues to his whereabouts, and we have information on Batman and Robin moving into the scene -"
"Ah, fuck. Get ready for more Joker venom in your water the next few weeks, fellas."
"Honestly, someone should kill that motherfucker already, for God's sake."
"You know what?" Jason said, loudly, ignoring his own hiccup and the way the three men looked at him in confusion and just a tad of fear. "Yes. Someone should."
He had the guns, he had the balls, and he had more alcohol than blood in his system.
And he's the fucking Red Hood. He gets. shit. done.
So that had been it.
Tracking the bastard had been surprisingly easy. It was like he wanted to be found - which was honestly his modus operandi, so scratch the surprising part. He had been in a fucking warehouse - the motherfucker - spraypainting some wretched, sadistic love letter for Batsy. Jason didn't hesitate, didn't allow the man to explain his elaborate plan or tell the punchline of his first joke.
"Boy Won-" and then he had a bullet between his eyes.
And Jason left, threw up in the bushes outside, drunkenly drove himself back to his closest safehouse and promptly collapsed on the couch.
Unfortunately, his drunk brain had not realized three extremely important points:
1. He was not carrying his Red Hood uniform - no armor, no helmet. Just the guns.
2. There were security cameras everywhere. Outside the warehouse, inside the warehouse, on the streets he drove through, outside the bar...
3. He left his DNA everywhere on the scene.
He doesn't regret what he did.
But dammit, the fucking Batman is tailing him now, and if memory serves, he's due for the beat down of a lifetime.
Now the man and his birdies are hunting down his allies, his henchmen, dismantling his whole operation with the sole purpose of finding him.
With how aggressively, obsessively and ferally the bats begin chasing Red Hood down, Jason is convinced they somehow found out his real identity. And are out for his blood. Can't leave his casket empty, no sir.
Jason has tried everything to hide. This is not how he wanted his reveal to go - not Batman finding him first and beating him up for killing his favourite counterpart. Definitely not with what his henchmen have described as a rabid, feral, out-of-control Nighwing with him, who, to quote his second-in-command, Hal, "looks terrifyingly desperate to find the Red Hood." And, his own freaking replacement in tow, who is apparently a fucking genius.
Nope. No, thanks. Not yet, anyway.
He needs a game plan first.
He does his best, hiding out in Crime Alley, telling his men to scatter and only communicate through secure lines, halting most of his operations and even stopping patrols until he can figure things out.
It's not enough.
One night, in full Red Hood gear, he finds himself face-to-face with a mob boss in the man's secluded office one second, and then face-to-face with an enraged Batman who just knocked out said mob boss and his whole bodyguard ensemble. He barely blinks, looking down at the groaning or unconscious bodies around him, hands holding a briefcase full of money, and then... he bolts.
Nightwing lands as light as a feather and as terrifying as a freaking nightmare in front of him, stopping him in his tracks with a gasp.
But it almost makes Jason snicker when he realizes that he's now taller and bigger than his older brother.
"Red Hood," Batman speaks behind him.
He takes a deep breath.
"Two bats in one night. To what do I owe the honor?"
He is so thankful for the modulator in his helmet - it hides the way his voice is shaking.
"We need to talk," Nightwing says, and his voice is deep and angry. Jason can't remember hearing him this upset - ever. Jesus. He expected anger from Batman, but why the hell is Nightdick so upset about it?
"Oh?" he plays dumb, clutching his hard-earned money closer. He cut too many heads for it, he's not going to just give it up.
"I know what you've done," Batman says, as he slowly surrounds him so that he is now side by side with Nightwing.
He stares at the two, and something in his heart clenches. It's the first time since he returned that he's seen them up close. The first time they have spoken to him. Something raw and sad inside of him screams, but he locks it even deeper within himself. It's too late for that.
"Pray tell, Batman. What did I do?"
Fuck this, even with all the evidence they surely have, they are going to have to beat the confession out of him.
"You know very well the type of shit you've pulled," Nightwing growls.
"Wow... You let your sidekicks curse now, Batman?"
"We're not here to joke around," Batman says, crossing his arms.
Huh. He would've thought Batman would have started beating him by now but none of them have really moved.
"You're not? Oh, man, what do I do with all of these punchlines I've prepared?"
Ugh, fuck, that sounded way too much like the Joker for his liking. He has to suppress a shiver.
"Red Hood... I will go straight to the point," Batman growls. Oh, boy, here it comes, "I am willing to form a temporary alliance."
...What.
He stays silent.
"We will... turn a blind eye... on your criminal activities and stay away from Crime Alley. Temporarily," Nightwing adds.
"What?" he voices it this time, wondering if he's hallucinating. Maybe the Bat already punched him, cracked his skull open and now he's insane.
"We need you to do something for us in exchange," Batman says, voice low and hesitant.
"...What is it?" he asks, curiosity winning over his instinct to get the hell out of there.
"You know Crime Alley better than anyone. I need you to help us find someone."
Oh... so this is not about the Joker?
"Who?"
"Jason Todd," Nightwing answers, and his voice wavers.
What. the. fuck.
He is struck silent. His brain is all but bluescreening. He feels hot all of a sudden, a rush of blood going to his brain that almost makes him stumble. His throat and mouth go dry.
He is so fucking thankful for his helmet.
"I'm sure you've seen the news. A civilian who ran into the Joker and murdered him. This is highly confidential but... we know who he is. He's Jason Todd. And we know he's hiding in Crime Alley. We need to find him."
He swallows hard. Once. Twice. Three times. His voice still comes out dry, but thank heavens for the modulator.
"What..." he has to swallow again. "What do you plan to do with the guy? Arrest him? Throw him in Arkham?"
"That's between us and Jason," Batman growls.
He almost laughs out loud at that.
"I'm not going to help you send him to jail, seems to me he did your job for you. Gotham already seems healthier without the extra Joker venom the clown was planning to release."
Batman and Nightwing look at each other for a moment.
And then... Nightwing seems to deflate. His anger leaves him, replaced by something raw, desperate.
"You're our only hope, Hood. Please."
Red Hood hesitates a second, looks both of them in the eye. He can't deny it tugs at his heartstrings.
"Why is this person so important to you?"
The question comes out rushed, breathless, and definitely without his permission.
"He's... Bruce Wayne's son. He's been... missing. For too long. And Bruce Wayne will do anything, anything to find him," Batman says, and for a moment his voice goes dry and raspy.
Oh jeeze, a stab to the heart would've hurt less.
But then again, this is so. fucking. funny.
So, of course, he agrees.
This is going to be the best fucking prank he's ever pulled on anyone, ever. The fact that it will be on Batman just makes it so much sweeter.