Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Three Days Later

“Elizabeth?”

Sighing tiredly, Elizabeth turned towards the voice, but didn’t open her eyes, “What?” she asked in a sleepy tone of voice.

“Elizabeth, do you wanna go outside and watch the snow fall for a minute?” Elizabeth suddenly heard Mark ask softly.

Frowning, Elizabeth opened her eyes and was surprised to see Mark sitting beside her bed wearing green scrubs with a white undershirt, “You’re not wearing a mask?” she queried in a groggy voice.

“You don’t have pneumonia, so I don’t need it here,” Mark replied simply, a smile suddenly filling his face as he studied his wife. “Um, I know this might shock you a little bit, but…you’re pregnant.”

Elizabeth’s eyes widened in shock as she stared at Mark, “We…we were told that we couldn’t have any other children after Ella, though, because of how difficult her birth was,” she spoke in a confused voice. “Is there any risk to the baby or to me?”

“You have an O.B. appointment in about an hour, but we have time to stand outside and enjoy the snow for a minute if you want to,” Mark offered gently. “Rachel and Ella stayed over at the Kovacs last night because Doctor Romano needed help. Amy had her first chemo two days ago…”

Elizabeth sighed grimly and nodded, “I think a walk outside would do us both some good,” she replied as she got up off the bed. “And then maybe we could share a shower before the appointment?”

Mark smirked as he put his arm around her and led her out into the ER, which was quiet and as they moved towards the exit, Elizabeth suddenly noticed that Exam One was still closed off.

Concerned, she moved closer to the door and was shocked and a little bit horrified to see that Dave was unconscious, intubated, hooked to a vent, and seemed to be also taking new medicines via his central line and IV. Carter, meanwhile, was gently flexing Dave’s legs one at a time and talking to him, but she couldn’t hear what he was saying.

“Malucci’s pneumonia worsened two days ago and Peter and Edson…” Mark began grimly.

Elizabeth frowned at him, “Dale Edson?” she asked in a confused voice. “What was he doing down here? Edson’s a surgeon, Mark.”

“Anspaugh kicked Edson off the surgical service temporarily and we have his company down here til January,” Mark explained simply, not wanting to get into the details as to why. “Anyway, Edson sedated Malucci cause the coughs, and the anxiety were wreaking too much havoc on Malucci’s body, Peter and Edson put in chest tubes, and Carter intubated him. He’s on antibiotics, meds to flush his system, his anti-rejection meds, and the stuff for his colostomy. Carter never got sick, though, so far. He’s been with Malucci in isolation for the last three days and has developed sort of a routine to get them both through those days…”

Elizabeth frowned, “Has anyone gotten Malucci his ADHD meds?” she asked softly, not giving a crap about confidentiality at this point because so much had happened. “Before all this happened, Doctor Meyers from Psych spoke to me about getting Malucci a new prescription. Malucci’s lack of medication may be the reason he’s been so anxious.”

Mark looked shocked, as he didn’t know Malucci had ADHD, but that would explain a lot of the behaviors he had seen from him during his residency, “Not yet, but now that I know about it, I can talk to Edson about it,” he promised softly.

“Talk to Edson about what?” Edson’s voice suddenly filled the air. “Don’t tell me…”

Mark and Elizabeth turned to see Edson standing behind them wearing fresh blue scrubs, his coat, stethoscope, sneakers, and holding a small, covered tray, “Is that Carter’s breakfast?” Mark asked in a slightly firmer voice. “I hope you remembered all the notes he gave you.”

“Oh, he made me write them down,” Edson replied in a quiet voice, nodding while sporting a look of profuse humility on his face. “What do you need to talk to me about…sir?”

Mark sighed, “Malucci’s got ADHD and needs a way of getting his meds for it,” he explained calmly. “Doctor Myers has the information. You might wanna call him after you feed Carter.”

Edson sighed, silently counted to ten, and then nodded before moving off into Exam One with the tray.

Mark silently shooed him away and as Edson went into Exam One, Elizabeth gave Mark a look.

“Anspaugh assigned Edson to help Carter and Malucci until the E.R. re-opens because you were in isolation and Peter was getting tired,” Mark explained in an amused voice, grinning. “I did mention that Carter developed a routine with Malucci. Edson’s part of that routine too. Carter goes to sleep around midnight in a cot that I put in there and Edson’s at Malucci’s side from midnight to 6 a.m. so Carter can actually sleep. Carter wakes at 6, takes his meds, and then puts Dave’s legs through exercises while Edson gets Carter breakfast. After breakfast, Edson takes Malucci’s and Carter’s vitals, takes blood from both of them, and then runs it to the lab while Carter combs Dave’s hair or reads to him, or just talks to him. They do the same thing at lunch and dinnertime and nurses do look in on them to make sure Carter and Edson don’t kill each other, but they seem to be getting along well enough. Peter left me in charge of Edson so he could get some rest, and spend time with Reese and also go to counseling cause this whole thing scared the hell out of him. I’ve also made sure to get some rest when I’m not looking in on Morris and Ray…”

Elizabeth’s frown deepened, as she was suddenly worried that Morris and Ray had also gotten sick and Mark sighed, “I’ll explain outside,” Mark promised. “Tea at the Jumbo Mart?”

“That sounds rather appealing, actually,” Elizabeth replied softly, nodding as Mark led her outside.

“Doctor Morris?” Morris heard Kerry’s voice fill the air as he sat beside Ray’s gurney in the trauma room, at a loss for why the hell Ray hadn’t woken up yet.

Morris sighed tiredly, wondering if he was going to catch hell from Weaver for not working, “I’m working,” he promised in a slightly annoyed voice. “There’s not much to do yet, but…”

Kerry’s eyes narrowed at Morris’s annoyed tone, but didn’t comment as she approached the bed and began looking through the chart, “He’s been unconscious for three days from a panic attack?!” she asked in a concerned voice. “Mark mentioned that Ray had a panic attack…”

Morris suddenly tensed, his expression afraid, as he didn’t want to have the conversation about Ray’s attack with Dr. Weaver of all people. The silence, however, prompted Kerry to look up and frown at him, “You know why,” she realized softly. “Why do you look so afraid?”

“Because Ray was attacked here,” Morris revealed in a quiet, but grim voice, his expression pained as he looked at Kerry. “And you’re the last person he would want to know about it.”

Kerry frowned, “What do you mean attacked?” she asked in a confused voice. “When? And by who?”

A muffled grunt suddenly filled the air as Haleh entered the room with a fresh IV bag of fluids, prompting Morris and Weaver to focus their attention back on the gurney just in time to see Ray’s eyes open.

Ray eyed Morris and Kerry with a terrified expression on his face before he reached up and ripped the mask off, “Archie…why?” Ray asked groggily, glaring at Morris. “You promised you wouldn’t…”

“And you promised that you had it handled!” Morris argued in a concerned, slightly pissed off voice as he glared right back at Ray. “You promised me that you were going to see a therapist and tell your supervisors you needed accommodations after what happened to you in May! Instead, you had a PTSD and catatonic episode at the desk in front of Doctor Greene! He knows about your ear and TBI, by the way. There’s no way in hell could I hide that after you collapsed at the desk! Doctor Greene replaced the battery in your hearing aid, by the way! Quit using the crap from the dollar store!”

Ray scoffed, “I’m not even sure I should be a doctor anymore, Archie,” he replied in a groggy tone. “I almost killed Doctor Kovac’s kid cause I accidentally him gave too much of something that was supposed to help him with withdrawals, something I used to help my bandmates with their withdrawal symptoms because they liked to get high in between shows and then struggle at rehearsal. I measured the dosage wrong cause I couldn’t think properly…”

“I’ve been with you to your appointments and your specialist said the TBI probably started developing back when Elton beat you up at that clinic,” Morris replied anxiously, unaware that Kerry was looking surprised at that information. “You’ve been doing all your therapies…”

Ray scoffed, “And then my judgment lapsed with the Sarah thing, and I was lucky to not be arrested,” he interrupted grimly. “I got so pissed when they sent me back here, as only Banfield knows about my therapy and the meds. I…”

“Doctor Greene called Mercy for your records,” Morris replied nervously. “He knows about all of that.”

Ray sighed irritably and eyed Kerry nervously, fully expecting judgment and walking papers. Kerry, however, looked sympathetic, as she understood what it was like to be a doctor with disability and struggle at work, “You didn’t take your meds before you had the attack, did you?” Morris guessed worriedly.

“I lost the band gig, and I am trying to give Sarah money for the pregnancy since Tony barely has any himself,” Ray explained groggily, closing his eyes as a wave of tiredness suddenly enveloped him.

Morris quickly put the mask back on Ray’s face, “We’ll get you new meds,” he promised softly, sighing heavily. “Doctor Weaver, I’m sorry…”

“I’m ordering him new meds and then I’m getting Anspaugh down here,” Kerry replied firmly as she headed for the phone to call in new meds for Ray. “We’re going to have a conversation about this even if Ray can’t participate, as you know exactly what’s going on and we need those answers.”

Nodding, Morris exhaled and stepped back to compose himself while Haleh gave Ray the new IV.

“…You’ll be late if you don’t go soon, Rachel. Thank you so much for staying last night. My father and I are going to take the kids to school today ourselves, and then go visit Nathan. He might come home next week as long as he doesn’t have another seizure…”

“…Lucas hasn’t gotten out of bed yet. Should I check on him?”

Nathan’s not coming home until next week? Lucas Romano-Kovac thought sadly as he lay atop his bed and gazed over at the empty, freshly made bed that belonged to Nathan. God…why? Why did Nathan almost have to die twice when he’s been really trying to be a good person? I’m the recovering drug addict who had to live in a treatment centre and I’m fine. I’m better off than he is. Maybe…maybe if I wasn’t alive, things would be easier for him and everyone. I don’t know.

“Lucas?”

Lucas sighed as his mother suddenly wandered into his room, “Come on, Lucas,” Amy spoke in a gentle voice, smiling at him. “Your grandpa and I are gonna take you, Erinn, Katie, and Joe to school today. Rachel said you were still in bed. You seem to be dressed…”

“I got up early and ate and I was taking a nap,” Lucas lied softly as he sat up, as he didn’t feel like eating. “I heard you and Rachel talk about Nathan. Is he really not coming home this week?”

Amy sighed as she sat on his bed, “He’s taking a bit to recover from his seizure and everything else, so they’ll let him come home next week just before Thanksgiving,” she explained gently. “Okay?”

Nodding, Lucas sighed and got up off the bed, “Why can’t I walk to school?” he asked softly, grabbing his bag off of his desk. “I’m old enough.”

“Because it snowed and it’s not warm enough for you to walk to school,” Amy replied gently, frowning at how pale Lucas seemed. “Are you all right? You seem a bit pale…”

Lucas rolled his eyes, “Maybe you and Uncle Dave should open another clinic since you like to try and diagnose people all the time,” he replied dryly, faking a smile. “I’m fine. See? I’m getting up.”

Even though she was concerned about Lucas, Amy said nothing because she wasn’t sure what she should say to him. He didn’t seem like himself, but she couldn’t force him to talk if he didn’t want to. Lucas, meanwhile, silently left the room and headed to the door and Amy followed, reaching him just in time to see him accept hugs from Erinn and Katie, but not tell them good morning. Dr. Romano, who was already at the door with Rachel, eyed Lucas worriedly, as did Rachel, but neither one of them said anything, as he seemed to be acting normal, but was just very quiet.

“Are we ready to go?” Amy asked softly, offering all of them a smile. “If so, let’s go.”

Lucas found himself suddenly wanting to stay home and hide in bed with nothing but his thoughts for company, but he said nothing because he was worried that they would either ignore him or overreact. Instead, he nodded and silently followed the rest of the group out to the van.

What Lucas didn’t see was Amy and Dr. Romano exchange a concerned look as they watched him, as they could see sadness and hesitation in his face and they both knew he hadn’t eaten anything that morning despite claiming that he had. The drive to the schools was likewise quiet and while everyone else at least offered a goodbye, Lucas left the van in silence and sporting a distant facial expression even though Amy and Dr. Romano had offered him loving words.

Only once the van was empty and her father was driving them to County did Amy speak again.

“I think something’s wrong with Lucas,” Amy spoke in a distressed voice. “I just don’t know what. I’m going to talk to Luka in private about it when we get to the hospital…”

Dr. Romano sighed heavily, nodding in agreement as he drove, “Do you think it’s drugs again?” he asked in a concerned voice. “I know you and Luka have been testing and searching him, right?”

“He’s been clean since getting out of the center,” Amy replied in a concerned voice. “And it isn’t just today I’ve noticed something. He’s been quiet and withdrawn for a while, according to Rachel. I wish I could talk to Dave about all this, as he’s always been good about knowing what’s going on in the kids’ minds, but he’s still in isolation with Carter and I doubt he’s very much up to heavy conversation…”

Dr. Romano looked grim, “I’ll see if Peds might have someone they can get to sit down with Lucas and talk to him,” he offered softly. “He might just need someone to talk to that isn’t any of us.”

Sighing, Amy nodded and silently looked out of the window, wondering if her father was right.

“…He still having headaches and back pain?”

“…I think his body’s been through too much in a short time…”

“…I think you two need some time alone…”

A dull ache filled Nathan’s entire body as he slowly opened his eyes and looked upward to see his adoptive father talking with his mother and Grandpa Romano at the door to his hospital room. He had fallen asleep with his glasses on the night before, so he could see everyone clearly, but he didn’t want to get up or even talk simply because he was tired, sore, and emotionally spent.

Unfortunately for him, his grandfather noticed that he was awake almost immediately and moved over to him while Luka and his mother moved into the hallway for time alone together, “Hey kid,” Dr. Romano spoke in a soft tone, crouching beside the bed. “Still laying on your side, huh?”

“It’s comfortable and makes everything hurt a little less” Nathan replied groggily, sighing. “I’m not taking any more Tylenols. They make me sleepy. I’m really starting to hate it here. Can I just come home?”

Dr. Romano sighed, “If you can get up, dress yourself in actual clothes, and walk to the door without assistance, I’ll let you go home today,” he replied in a soft, but firm voice, giving his eldest grandson a calm look. “Otherwise, maybe…maybe…we can talk about you taking a little trip down to the Peds social area in a wheelchair after breakfast if you really want to be out of bed for a while.”

“If they have books there, maybe,” Nathan replied softly. “What’s for breakfast, anyway? I know they brought it and tried to wake me up, but I just ignored them.”

Dr. Romano peered at the meal tray that was on the portable tray near the bed, “Applesauce, cottage cheese, and apple juice,” he replied with a sigh. “I know about you blowing off meals or outright refusing to eat, Nathan. The nurses up here tell me everything, as do Doctor Kovac and your mother. You’ve got an appointment with a counselor tomorrow to start working through that, by the way. Your mother had plenty of time on her hands when she was home resting after chemo to arrange that for you and you are going to go to that appointment. Today, though, you’re going to be fed your breakfast, lunch, and dinner by none other than me. And I’ve got all the time in the world to sit here and wait for you to be ready to eat since the ER is closed til next week…”

“Could…could you help me sit up, Grandpa?” Nathan asked groggily. “Please? I want to see if I can do it. I was scared to ask if I could…especially after that bastard who tried to give me the spinal tap got moody with me…and Dad…he’s so tired and has been really patient. When’s it gonna run out?”

Dr. Romano silently studied Nathan for a moment, “Do you really think you can sit up without support right now?” he asked softly. “There’s a reason they’re not letting you out of the hospital until next week, kiddo.”

Sadness filled Nathan’s face, “At least I’m better off than Uncle Dave,” he mused grimly. “I heard my dad and Doctor Weaver talking about him and then I heard some nurses gossiping last night that he’s intubated and on a freaking ventilator and sedated and sick with pneumonia. Like…the nurses were talking about how that’s why the ER’s busy right now even though it’s closed…”

Dr. Romano sighed, irritated about the nurses’ endless gossip chain, “Well, that’s true, but Dave is being looked after,” he replied softly. “Doctor Carter and Doctor Edson are making sure he gets what he needs…”

“Oh, Doctor Edson works here?” Nathan asked softly, suddenly looking intrigued. “I met him a few times when my mom and Uncle Dave would have volunteer surgeons show up at the clinic and do consults for people needing more care than the clinic could give. He said I should become a doctor, as I was good at helping in the clinic, but I don’t want to do that. That’s a lot of school and school is not my friend because I tend to get on the wrong side of teachers too easily. All I need to do is take my Nursing equivalency test when I turn 18 and I can become an LPN because of the skills I have from the clinic. That, and Mom let me take a Nurse’s Aide course offered through the community when I was 15 so I’d be able to help her and Uncle Dave when I wasn’t in school…”

Dr. Romano looked amused, “If you’re strong enough in the spring and still want to do that, I’ll pay for the test myself,” he promised sincerely. “I always thought you’d make a pretty decent nurse. For now, though, let’s get you your breakfast. I personally think you should just rest there and let me feed you since you’re still in pain, but it’s up to you…”

“Alright,” Nathan replied quietly. “I’ll just relax and listen. I don’t have energy to argue, anyway.”

Dr. Romano sighed, but silently got the food and carefully fed Nathan everything. Once the food and juice were gone, Nathan sighed tiredly, “Thanks,” he replied softly. “Can we go for that trip to the Peds social area now? I’m bored.”

“Let me get a chair and someone to help me get you into it,” Dr. Romano replied calmly.

Nathan scoffed, “You can help me, Grandpa,” he stated firmly. “Your arms work fine. At least to me.”

“Well, it’s nice to know that you have faith in your one-armed grandpa, kid, but I had to agree to certain rules to be able to continue practicing medicine here after I got my new prosthesis and one of those rules was no moving patients from their beds alone because my prosthesis can’t tolerate that stress,” Dr. Romano replied calmly. “If I wanna keep my job, which I do, I have to follow the rules I’m given even if they’re infantilizing. Just rest there and behave yourself while I get some help, Nathan, all right?”

Before Nathan could reply, Dr. Romano moved into the hallway, “…I got a call from Doctor Anspaugh last night,” he heard Amy say in a low voice. “Doug wants to come out to Chicago with his wife and twin girls and do the DNA test. I told Anspaugh I’d talk to Nathan and let him know. Anspaugh let me know that Doug…he was drugged with Rohypnol by Elton at that party…”

Dr. Romano stilled at that, “…Mark Greene’s call apparently traumatized the hell out of Doug, but Doug did call Anspaugh, so I should really talk to Nathan,” Amy spoke softly. “Today.”

A silence filled the air and Dr. Romano chose that moment to approach Amy and Luka, both of whom were sitting together further down the hallway, “Um, Doctor Kovac, Nathan has eaten breakfast, and he has expressed a desire to visit the Peds social area,” Dr. Romano spoke in a quiet voice, trying to ask for help per his conditions in a way that didn’t involve humiliating himself. “He has even agreed to use a wheelchair…”

Fortunately for him, Luka understood what Dr. Romano wanted and nodded, “I can help you find a chair,” he offered softly.

While Luka and her father talked, Amy chose that moment to slip into Nathan’s room and crouch beside the bed, “Hey, honey, I…I need to talk to you,” she spoke softly, offering him a sad smile.

“It’s about that Doug Ross guy, isn’t it?” Nathan asked in a quiet voice, giving his mother a concerned look. “You’re way too sad…”

Amy nodded and gently stroked his hair, “Well, it turns out what I thought about Doug Ross isn’t exactly true,” she explained softly. “Doug was at the same party I was forced to be at, but Elton…Elton drugged his drink with a drug called Rohypnol. That is a date rape drug that can cause amnesia, sedation, and muscle relaxation. I was also drugged, so neither Doug nor I…we have no memory of what may have happened between us. Doug ended up getting medical treatment for it at a hospital, so there’s a record of what happened to him, and I have the report from the teen clinic your Uncle Dave took me to. We just don’t know if you’re the result of what happened.”

“And what does Doug…and what do you…think should be done about all this?” Nathan asked softly, frowning. “It hurt you to talk about it, obviously. Do you want me to forget about him? I will…if you want me to.”

Amy sighed, “I want you to have some peace,” she replied softly. “Doug wants to come to Chicago over Thanksgiving with his family and do a DNA test. I’m leaving it up to you whether or not you want to do one too. Whatever you decide to do, Nathan, I will support you and so will Luka. We love you.”

“Yes, we do,” Luka’s voice suddenly filled the air, prompting Amy and Nathan to look up and see Luka and Dr. Romano there with a wheelchair. “I hope you know that, Nathan.”

Nathan looked at Luka, “What would you do if it were you facing this?” he asked softly.

Luka was quiet for a moment before sighing, “Well, my biological family is very small and I lost my first family of creation in the Croatian War of Independence because our apartment in Vukovar, Croatia was bombed while I was out getting supplies,” he replied quietly, sighing as Nathan’s eyes widened in shock. “I did have a second wife, and we had a son, but that relationship ended badly as well. Thankfully, I got Joe from that, and he was enough for a while. Until I met your mother, you, Lucas, Erinn, and Katie, that is. All of you…and Michael and Abigail…you all brought me a peace that I thought I had lost forever. I also consider the people at the hospital, including Dave and Daniel and Carter, family to me and I am very grateful for the opportunities I had to collect additional family however they came into my life. It’s filled holes in me that I thought would never be filled when my first family died, but I had to work at letting them in and they had to work at getting me to trust that they cared about me. My pain about my past is much less than it used to be because I didn’t allow opportunities to heal pass me by when they came. My point is, Nathan, that you have an opportunity to heal pain inside of you that Elton Douglas caused by telling you about Doug Ross. Why not at least see if this Doug Ross is related to you? You don’t have to meet Doug if you don’t want to, but you owe yourself the opportunity to gain peace from what Elton told you. If you hang on to that pain, you’ll never fully heal.”

Nathan sighed, his expression heavy as he contemplated what Luka had just said, “Okay,” he replied softly before he gazed at Amy. “Um, can you arrange that test thing, Mom? I do want to do it.”

Amy nodded and Nathan exhaled, “I think I’d like to go to the Peds social room for a while,” he spoke quietly, his mind reeling as he processed what he had just agreed to do. “Maybe I’ll try reading a book or just sit at the window and look outside. I think it snowed last night, but I’m not sure.”

“Well, let’s get you into the chair then so you can do that,” Dr. Romano spoke gently, shocked as hell that Luka had been able to get through to Nathan in such a powerful way regarding Doug Ross.

“John?”

Sighing, Carter sat up on his cot and frowned when he saw Edson there with the medical cart, “Time for your checkup,” Edson spoke quietly. “I thought you’d be reading to Malucci…”

Carter silently got off the cot and moved over to Dave’s bedside, “I did,” he replied softly. “I was just doing a little silent prayer even though I really don’t believe in God at this point in my life…”

Swallowing hard, Carter gazed down at Dave and found that the man was still unconscious, “He hasn’t woken up in the night either,” Edson commented in a disturbed voice. “But to blame God, John, that’s…that’s a lot. God didn’t cause Malucci to get shot. Just like God didn’t cause Harper to die on 9/11…”

Carter’s eyes widened at the mention of his former medical school fling, “What?!” he asked in a shocked, slightly saddened voice, horrified at the news of Harper's death. “Dale…did you just say Harper died on 9/11?! Harper Tracy?!”

A solemn expression filled Edson’s face, but he nodded and pointed to the cot. Shellshocked, Carter sat back on his cot sporting an equally somber expression and was silent as Edson checked his vitals.

“All normal,” Edson finally spoke quietly. “Just sit tight and let me get the stuff for the blood draw.”

Carter obeyed, not prying for details even though he wanted to hear more about Harper’s death.

As Edson returned with the supplies for the blood draw, he sighed, “Harper and I kept in touch when she was done at County and we actually had a long-distance relationship for a while because she got an internship and residency in New York City,” he explained in a somber voice, noting Carter’s sorrow-filled curiosity. “By the time 2001 rolled around, we were actually engaged to be married, and I was planning to leave County to be with her, but then 9/11 happened and she was one of those who joined the mass of responders at the Towers. Her body was recovered about a month later. I grieved by hiding out in my apartment for two days after I was told. Liquor and ice cream was involved in my grieving process, obviously. Hell, I even contemplated mixing a pile of sleeping pills with the liquor and ice cream and going to sleep forever so I could be with Harper, but I didn’t. I just had endless booze and ice cream floats. Then on the third day, I got up took a hangover remedy and got the hell back to work at County. I work very hard here because it’s literally all I have left in my life except for aging parents who live in a retirement home, but are too far gone to remember who I am half the time! I may sound like a jerk, but I really do not mean to be. I’m…”

“Grieving,” Carter finished in a solemn voice, his expression sad as Dale tied a band around his arm. “Dale, I’m sorry…I’m really sorry.”

Edson sighed, but nodded, “I’m protective of what is left in my world because I’m extremely sad about what I lost and I don’t want to lose anything else, but those feelings of fear and anxiety make me come off as a jerk,” he explained grimly as he worked to find a vein in Carter’s arm and finally did. “I told all this stuff to Anspaugh, by the way. About Harper dying on 9/11. That’s why he sent me down here until January instead of outright firing me.  He also scheduled me for grief therapy three times a week. I feel bad for how I acted earlier with Malucci in ICU. It was not professional for me to ignore his legs and almost kill him. I was triggered by what Doctor Corday had said about him in the past and by my own feelings of inadequacy…”

Carter frowned, deeply confused, “I was one of the surgeons that operated on Malucci when he was injured on Halloween, John,” Edson revealed grimly as he silently drew Carter’s blood. “Helped with all of it. When it was over, I sat in that Post-Op with Malucci for hours trying to re-share all the encouraging stuff he used to tell me at the clinic when I would come over there to volunteer and not know how to connect with the patients there…”

“You…you volunteered at Dave and Amy’s clinic?” Carter asked in a surprised voice, genuinely awed.

Sighing, Edson taped up Carter’s arm, “In an attempt to regain some sort of positive feelings towards life, yes,” he replied softly as he moved the vial to a container on the cart. “I also helped operate on Nathan Romano back when he was stabbed cause his mother asked me to. Anyway, John, back to Malucci. When I was told what his odds of walking again were even after all of the work I and the rest of the O.R. did to patch him up, I was pissed, and I wondered what the hell all of our hard work was even for because the outcome for Malucci sucked. I counted it as a loss. And then I grieved because it made me think of everything else I lost. And now this…all of this…it’s very hard…”

Taken aback by Edson’s vulnerability, Carter moved over to the chair beside Dave’s bed and sat, “You’ve got a hell of a lot of hope, John, and it’s very inspiring,” Edson commented quietly as he gathered fresh supplies. “You have hope that this situation will turn out well when a lot of people are losing hope that it will.”

Carter sighed and nodded grimly, not afraid to acknowledge that at least half the hospital thought that Dave was on death’s doorstep. He silently gazed down at the unconscious Dave and sighed sadly, wondering if his constant hope for Dave’s recovery was in vain.

As Carter sat there, silently waiting for Edson to get his supplies together so the man could check Dave’s vitals, he suddenly saw Dave’s eyelids flutter briefly before his eyes opened, “Dave?” he spoke in a concerned voice, frowning when Dave’s gaze suddenly moved to him. “Dale…Dave’s awake…”

Dave tried to speak, but found he couldn’t because there was a tube down his throat and anxiety immediately filled his eyes, “Dave, you had to be sedated and have a tube put down your throat that’s connected to a vent,” Carter explained in a gentle, but concerned voice. “You were getting too sick and it was putting a strain on your body. You’ve also got chest tubes in…”

Edson, meanwhile, came around the bed with the supply cart and silently watched as Carter gently took Dave’s hand, “You’re okay, though,” Carter continued in a concerned voice, gently rubbing Dave’s cold hand to warm it up a little. “You’re back in Exam One and I’m here. You’re okay.”

For a moment, Dave looked panicked about not being able to speak, but Carter’s hand massage quickly wore him down. He blinked, indicating that he was accepting what Carter was telling him.

“Doctor Edson’s going to check your vitals and blood now, Dave, but do you want to write things down once he’s done since you can’t talk?” Carter asked anxiously, continuing to rub Dave’s hand.

Dave, however, didn’t stay awake for long because he was exhausted and although Carter’s hand massage was very comforting, it was also lulling him back into sleep. Once he was sure Dave was back asleep, Carter put Dave’s hand under the blanket and moved back so Edson could work.

“This is actually very Biblical,” Edson commented softly as he began checking Dave’s vitals. Did you know that, John? I’m not even religious anymore, but this is so Biblical. On the third day after surrendering to the pain and hell of overwhelming circumstances and epic amounts of unkindness, one lost to the world suddenly arises as a new person. They aren’t who they used to be, but they’re still good and still have the ability and desire to do good for those who never lost hope in their ability to survive. As I said before, John, your hope is inspiring. It obviously inspired a small miracle.”

For the first time since the shooting, Carter began to feel that maybe not all hope was lost that things could get better for everyone who had been hurt by that awful day.

Perhaps, Carter mused silently, things would eventually get better for Dave. Dave himself had taken the first step towards that hope coming true by choosing to wake up and continuing to fight for himself.

Of course, Carter promised himself, Dave would not be alone in his fight. He, John Carter, would be right there to help Dave make sure the battle for his life would be a battle that was winnable.

Chapter Text

Peter was off that day, but he had forgotten about his counseling appointment until they had called him at Jackie’s and nobody was around to watch Reese, as his school was out for Thanksgiving break, so he had been forced to take the EL to the hospital with Reese in tow. He had a car, but the holidays were arriving, which was a trigger for him, and he had been warned by his therapist not to drive when he was having trigger moments, as he risked a having a car accident if he did. With that in mind, Peter had bundled Reese up, left a note for Jackie and Walt, and then had taken the EL to the hospital with his son.

As soon as he got to the hospital via the front entrance, Peter had brought Reese up to the Peds social area in hopes of being able to sweet talk one of the people there into keeping an eye on Reese while he went to his counseling session.

The first thing Peter saw upon entering the Peds playroom, however, was something he never expected to see: Dr. Romano sitting by one of the windows quietly reading to Nathan while Nathan sat in a wheelchair asleep with his head on Dr. Romano’s shoulder.

Reese, however, immediately ran over to them because he knew and liked both Nathan and Dr. Romano. Peter watched in wonder as Dr. Romano set the book on his lap, said hi in sign language and speech while looking straight at Reese, and then also kindly told Reese in speech and sign language that they needed to be quiet because Nathan was asleep.

Reese nodded and asked what happened to Nathan and why he was there, a question that made Peter freeze in his tracks. Dr. Romano, however, used speech and sign language to explain to Reese that Nathan was hurt by a bad person and needed to be in the hospital to get better. Reese, to Dr. Benton’s shock, then asked if it was the same bad man who hurt Daniel’s dad with the gun.

Taken aback, Peter covered his mouth, turned away, and closed his eyes to breathe. He had been so consumed with grief over the pending holidays without Cleo that he had not thought to talk to Reese about the shooting at all. As Peter stood there, trying to figure out how to approach Reese about the subject and also compose himself, he didn’t hear footsteps.

“Doctor Benton?” Peter suddenly heard a soft voice say.

Muttering that he couldn’t talk at the moment, Peter silently moved into the hallway and sat himself in a plastic chair before he passed out. He leaned back, closed his eyes, and exhaled deeply. After a moment, he opened his eyes and quickly realized he wasn’t alone. Amy was sitting next to him, having followed him from the room. Peter sighed, prepared to apologize for making a scene, but he quickly saw that Amy wasn’t bothered by him being upset and instead was simply offering him a compassionate glance.

“I did everything I could to save her,” Amy spoke in a solemn tone. “We’ve never really talked about it, but I wanted you to know that.”

Peter suddenly looked thoughtful, “I never blamed you for her death,” he replied quietly, sighing. “You were injured yourself, I remember, and yet you were beating the hell out of yourself physically and emotionally trying to help Cleo. How long did Elton have you as a prisoner for, anyway?”

“Two weeks,” Amy replied softly, her expression grim. “I don’t talk about it much. I…I wasn’t there by myself the whole time, but I don’t think the person Elton made come and force feed me food and water so I wouldn’t die wants to talk about it…”

Peter frowned, “Was it Malucci?” he asked quietly. “If it was, he’s never mentioned it…”

“No, Dave had no idea where I was,” Amy replied softly. “And I’d rather not share who did because I don’t want to jeopardize their future. They’re…they’re a good person and I’d rather not add to their troubles right now. They probably don’t even remember doing it because I think they have a traumatic brain injury, as things I’ve seen from them since have really made me think that, and I don’t want them to be forced to remember. That kind of disruption will only harm them. Do you understand that?”

Peter nodded, his expression concerned, “I hope to God that they’re getting help, wherever they are now,” Amy spoke softly. “And I hope your counseling is helping at least dull your pain a bit.”

“Well, Cleo’s family cut Reese and I off communication-wise after the funeral, so there’s been a lot of pain that I’ve had to work through and am still working through, but Carter…he’s been a good friend and support to me, as you remember when you saw us last Christmas at the church,” Peter explained quietly, sighing as he checked his watch. “And…I need to go now if I’m going to make my appointment. Would you and Luka mind watching Reese? I’ll only be two hours.”

Amy nodded and Peter offered her a grateful smile before getting up and leaving. Amy silently returned to the social room and saw Luka silently watching Dr. Romano read and sign to Reese while Nathan continued to sleep on his other shoulder. Luka sighed worriedly.

“Do you think Lucas might benefit from a counselor for children?” he asked softly. “From what you said, I think Lucas might be depressed. A depressed kid…they should talk to a counselor when they’re depressed. Lucas should at least since he's not talking to us.”

Amy nodded and sighed tiredly, “I agree,” she replied quietly. “Do you have any in mind?”

“I know a few,” Luka replied softly. “One in particular, though, that was helpful with getting Joe to communicate his feelings after his accident with Abby, is Doctor Rena Trujillo and she actually works here. She’s a Child Life specialist. I’ll reach out to her and get an appointment arranged…if that’s all right with you. Doctor Romano actually already made an appointment for Nathan with her, but Nathan and Lucas…they’re very different…and they have different needs and responses…”

Amy scoffed, “They both have one thing in common,” she replied grimly, her expression sad as she looked at her husband. “They’re struggling…so very much and I’m not sure how to help them.”

“I think you’re doing a very good job,” Luka offered softly, pausing as Nathan’s head suddenly lifted.

Seeing that Nathan was awake, Reese suddenly paused and tugged Dr. Romano’s sleeve, prompting Dr. Romano to stop and look at Nathan. Nathan blinked and yawned quietly before sighing, “Sorry, Grandpa Rocket,” the teen whispered tiredly. “Your reading voice was really soothing, and your shoulder was comfy. I just got so tired…just sitting here. I don’t know…what’s wrong…”

“Now do you understand why the hospital wants to keep you until next week?” Dr. Romano replied in a gentle, but parental tone of voice as he gave Nathan a look. “You’re not bouncing back from that seizure particularly fast, and your body needs time to heal from the other stuff it’s been through.”

Nathan sighed, but nodded, “I honestly just wanna go back to bed,” he spoke groggily. “My back hurts less, but I’m just feeling foggy. I might steal a book for later, though. I don’t want to watch TV. Too much noise. Some things are still noisy…”

“That might be something that has to be looked at after you’ve rested,” Dr. Romano replied softly.

Nathan shrugged, “It can wait til Reese’s dad comes back,” he replied in a whispery voice even though he looked ready to drift off. “I heard him come and go.”

“No, we’re here to take you back to your room,” Luka suddenly spoke up from behind. “Your mom and I took time by ourselves in the cafeteria and now we’re here to spend time with you.”

Nodding, Nathan sighed before closing his eyes and letting out a quiet snore, “He might be anemic on top of everything else,” Dr. Romano muttered worriedly. “If I were you, Kovac, I’d get his iron checked. He’s always had a problem with that. It might be worse now.”

Without waiting for a response, Dr. Romano returned to reading and signing to Reese, leaving Nathan to Luka and Amy. Luka immediately took control of the wheelchair and Amy walked alongside it as they took Nathan back to his room for rest. Luka would stay until it was time for him to go get Lucas, Erinne, Katie, and Joe from school and then Amy would rest with Nathan a while, as Amy had decided that Luka could use some time at home to sleep and be with the kids and the hospital was good for her at that time.

The sight of Dale Edson sitting on a couch in the Counseling Services waiting area with his head down and eyes directed at something in his hand made Peter mad as he moved on to the Psych floor. The man looked like he didn't have a care in the world and that pissed Peter off to no end.

“Edson, I thought you were assigned to help Carter with Malucci?” Peter asked sternly.

Edson sighed, not looking up from the thing in his hands, “John knows I’m up here and Malucci’s asleep again,” he replied in a faraway, slightly sad tone. “Corday said she’d spell me off while I was up here.”

Peter paused, “Again?” he asked quietly. “Malucci woke from sedation?”

“Briefly and he freaked out about not being able to talk cause of the tube, but John calmed him down,” Edson replied in the same faraway tone. “I put in an order for Malucci’s meds with Myers, and they’ll get to it later today. That’s not why I’m here, though. I have grief counseling.”

Peter’s eyes narrowed, but Edson didn’t see that because he was still gazing at something in his hand. Deeply curious, as this withdrawn behavior was absolutely not like Dale Edson at all, Peter sat beside him and frowned when he saw a wallet in Edson's hand sporting a wallet-sized, slightly aged photo of Edson and former med-student Harper Tracy in a romantic side-embrace on what looked like a ferry with the Statue of Liberty in the background. Edson and Harper’s heads were close together, they were smiling, and Harper was holding up her left hand that seemed to be sporting a diamond ring on it.

Peter then remembered that Harper had done her medical school in County’s program and had also dated Carter briefly before being accepted into an internship in New York. He had lost track of Harper after she had gone there, Peter mused, but obviously Edson hadn’t. Edson and Harper looked very happy together, like they were in love. Edson at present, however, looked incredibly sad and there were even tears in his eyes. Edson sighed when he realized Peter had seen the picture.

“Fourth of July Weekend 2001,” Edson explained quietly, a sad sigh escaping his lips as he spoke. “We were celebrating our engagement on the ferry because I proposed during a surprise visit to Staten Island. I popped the question while we were alone in the crown. I thought it was fitting because she was my queen…or…she was supposed to be.”

Peter stilled, “Well, we all know what happened in September 2001,” Edson spoke in a grimmer tone, his expression pained and sad as he gazed at Peter. “I was working at County, but I was also writing my resignation letter because I was going to join her in New York whether I had a job or not. And then when the first plane hit, she called me and told me she was going to help the other responders, and we shared our love for each other before she left. Her body was found a month later in the rubble and upon autopsy, they found that she was pregnant with my kid. Can you believe that? I could have been a father if it weren’t for that awful day. Still hurts to this day and I told Anspaugh all of that after he met with me in his office one on one. One of his many remedies was mandatory grief counseling as well as being exiled to the ER until January to work on my apparent lack of ‘people skills.’ Hurts like hell that even now, I can’t keep my crap together. I mean, 9/11 was a while ago and I'm still messed in the head.”

“I get it,” Peter replied softly, appalled at himself for assuming the worst about Edson. “Cleo Finch, she was a pediatric fellow here…she was murdered in front of me some time ago…by the same psycho who shot up the ER on Halloween. She was my wife. It’s…it’s hard as hell to keep going after something like that, but you’re here…”

Edson scoffed, “Being watched like a hawk by the almighty perfect and saintlike John Truman Carter who has never had any sort of loss like that in his life,” he replied darkly, scowling as he snapped his wallet shut and put it away. “If I make one wrong move, even if it’s not intentional, John’s for sure going to hang me out to dry and absolutely revel in it because he’s the hospital’s golden boy and Malucci’s brother. John’s so protective of Malucci that he even organized that routine and watches me like I’m some horribly contagious disease every time I go anywhere near the man. Maybe John should just focus on the fact that he was blessed with a brother, a nephew, soon to be sister-in-law, and a pending new niece or nephew while all I have is my job at County and my aging parents, who are in a nursing home and don’t even know who I am due to memory issues. Everything seems to come up roses for John Carter…that lucky bastard. Even after his little trip to rehab Atlanta and even after his grandparents died…John’s had nothing but good luck. Of course, John’s always been a saint among saints…even when you and everyone else were busting his balls…”

Peter was silent for a moment before sighing, “Obviously nobody told you about Joshua, then,” he replied quietly, not angry at Edson for his comments at all because he knew the man was speaking out of grief and misperception. “Carter…he doesn’t talk about Joshua much, but that…that’s a loss that changed him.”

A door opened nearby, but Edson frowned, “Who’s Joshua?” he asked quietly.

“Joshua…he died before he was born,” Peter explained quietly. “Joshua was Carter’s son. Carter did some work for Doctors Without Borders in Africa and he met this doctor named Kem Likasu over there, they got pregnant, and they got married. He was never gonna come back from Africa because he was happy there, but then Joshua died in-utero due to a cord accident. After Joshua’s death, Carter came back to Chicago to start over, but their marriage went to hell pretty fast. Carter…he’s remarried now, and he and his wife adopted a little girl from Africa, but he still grieves Joshua…”

A throat cleared, “Peter?” Dr. DeRaad’s voice suddenly spoke from nearby. “You ready?”

Sighing, Peter got up, “Anyway, Edson, I know you don’t see anyone here at the hospital as anything other than colleagues and that you don’t want any friends, but you might need them,” he spoke quietly. “You might not have the life that you want, but it won’t hurt you to build yourself a community from the people who are in the life that you have. Just think about that and…take care of yourself. All right? If you ever need to talk…remember that we work on the same floor…”

Edson turned his head away and looked at the floor in a sad silence, unsure of how to respond to Peter’s attempt to reach out. Peter sighed and went to his session, very determined to bring up his concerns about Edson’s obvious grief and depression to Anspaugh when there was an opportunity to because he didn’t want Edson to meet the same gruesome fate as Dennis Gant.

Edson, meanwhile, waited until Dr. Myers called his name and then silently went to his appointment, which was only for an hour that day, mindful of what Peter had told him, but wondering if building a community for himself was even possible because he had done so much work to make people dislike him.

“…That’s some interesting poetry, Carter,” Carter heard Elizabeth say softly as the door to Exam One opened and footsteps entered the room. “I’m not sure I’m familiar with it, though…”

Carter, who had been reading poetry to the sleeping Dave to pass time after Edson had dropped his lunch off before heading off to counseling, smiled at Elizabeth and Mark as they came into the room with the medical cart, “It’s from a Grenada bookshop,” he replied softly. “It’s Dave’s. It keeps him calm.”

“I heard something rather interesting about Doctor Malucci, actually,” Elizabeth spoke softly. “He woke up from sedation earlier briefly?”

Carter nodded silently, not wanting to mention Dave’s agitation, “If he wakes up again and wants to communicate, we got him these,” Mark explained, holding up a small whiteboard, which had an eraser and marker attached to it. “And, Carter, you should know that even after his isolation ends, Malucci will be in the E.R. til after Thanksgiving cause he’s not going back to ICU and the rehabilitation floor won’t take him while his pneumonia’s bad. After Elizabeth and I got back from the Jumbo Mart, I phoned around seeing about long-term care options because I know you’ve been too busy to. I’ve also had a look at the recent notes you left, particularly about the leg exercises. Did Malucci mentioned anything more about pins and needles in his feet before he was intubated?”

“No,” Carter replied grimly, sighing heavily because he knew what that meant. “That doesn’t mean I’m going to stop doing the leg exercises for him, though. Dale’s even done them for him at night…”

Mark shrugged, “It doesn’t hurt to have hope in a miracle, Carter,” he replied gently. “Just remember to take care of yourself.”

“What are the odds at now?” Carter asked quietly, completely ignoring Mark’s words. “Of Dave walking again?”

Elizabeth sighed heavily, “Elizabeth, don’t stress yourself out,” Mark commented softly, knowing from his review of Dave’s chart that Dave’s odds of walking again were less than they were previously. “You need to take it easy for the baby’s sake and for yours…”

Carter’s eyes widened, “You’re pregnant again?” he asked softly, offering a faint smile even though the news made him feel that familiar ache in his heart. “Congratulations.”

“Thank you,” Elizabeth replied softly, offering a smile. “Our first OB appointment…it’s soon. I just agreed to cover for Doctor Edson while he’s upstairs. Mark, would you be bothered if I went ahead so I’m on time? You can check Carter and Malucci’s vitals, right?”

Quickly catching on that Dave’s odds of walking again had obviously decreased and that’s why Mark didn’t want the pregnant Elizabeth talking about it, Carter sighed heavily and set the poetry book on the portable table, no longer in the mood to read. He didn’t know what he was going to tell Jing-Mei during the phone call they had scheduled for later that day. He almost didn’t want to call her, as Daniel’s school was currently out for Thanksgiving break and so Jing-Mei and Abby were working together to keep Daniel busy at his new home so he wouldn’t worry about his father. Because of the calls with Jing-Mei, Carter knew Jing-Mei had told Daniel his father was currently sick so he couldn’t visit, but they didn’t know how much Daniel had understood, so they were keeping him busy with Thanksgiving preparations, baby preparations, and getting to know everyone at the Carter household.

Now that Carter knew that Dave was going to be spending Thanksgiving in the E.R., though, he knew what his own plans would be. He would spend as much of the day with Dave as he could and everyone in his circle would just have to understand…

Exhaling softly, Carter studied Dave’s sleeping form and suddenly noticed Dave’s eyelids fluttering again as his dominant hand fought to emerge from underneath the blanket. Carter carefully took hold of the flailing hand and gave it a gentle squeeze. Dave’s eyes slowly opened in response to that and Dave and Carter stared at each other in silence for several moments before Dave tried to talk again.

All of a sudden, Mark, who had seen Dave wake, set the board in Carter’s hands and Carter released Dave’s hand before popping the lid off the marker and handing it to Dave.

“Use this,” Carter encouraged softly, holding the board up so Dave could write on it.

Mark and Elizabeth watched silently as Dave wrote on the board with his dominant hand even though it trembled from lack of use. When he was done, he tapped on the board and Carter took it to read it. The words, however, were so troubling that Carter didn’t dare read them aloud. He simply stared at the board silently with an expression of solemn disbelief on his face.

Why can’t I talk yet? I want to talk. It’s bad enough that I still can’t feel my legs, but now I can’t speak either. Everything’s being taken away from me…

Wondering what Dave had said, as Carter looked distressed by it, Mark and Elizabeth moved around the bed and froze at seeing Dave’s words, “You can’t talk because you’re not strong enough yet to be extubated, according to your current sats,” Elizabeth explained gently. “I know it’s frightening…”

Dave motioned for the board again and Carter held it up, fearing the worst as Dave wrote more before pushing the board away.

When can I get out of here? I have a family who misses me and needs me…I hope they remember me. Where’s my chart? I wanna know when I can leave.

Carter sighed grimly, “I’ve been talking to Deb on the phone every day about how you’re doing,” he explained gently as Dave studied him. “She and Daniel both miss you, but…I asked my father to move them and all your stuff to the Carter house, so they won’t feel so alone. And Abby and Maggie are there too…as is our mom.”

“You’re not seeing your chart, Dave,” Mark spoke up firmly. “I know you want to, but it won’t be good for you to see it. You’re hopefully gonna be extubated by Thanksgiving, so we might be able to get you some turkey broth as a bit of a treat. Small comfort, I know…”

Dave motioned for the board yet again and Carter worked to stay composed as Dave wrote more.

Can I get access to a computer? I need to order my dad a gift and have it delivered to him via FedEx since I won’t be able to visit his nursing home for a while. I had promised him some time on Thanksgiving when I last visited him, but that was right before Halloween. Now that this has happened, I haven’t seen him in…how long have I been here for?

Instead of returning the board, Dave simply showed it to Carter with a shaking hand and Carter froze, “17 days,” he replied quietly, unnerved that Dave had mentioned his father. “Um…your dad…your dad is alive and in Chicago?!”

Dave nodded, a hint of sadness among the exhaustion in his eyes, and Carter’s eyes widened while Mark and Elizabeth exchanged a look, but Dave silently scribbled on the bottom of the board. Carter, meanwhile, truly wondered if Dave had suffered brain damage to the point of having delusions, as he had first mistaken Sam Taggart for Lucy and was now claiming his father was alive in a Chicago nursing home. Dave handed the board to Carter and also offered the pen, as he was tired of communicating and wanted to rest. Carter stared at the board and Dave’s words in shock.

My dad’s name is Anthony. His care home is called Garden Vista and it’s in Hyde Park. He’s been there since I finished my residency at Mercy. I moved him there because he developed mental health issues and couldn't live on his own anymore and I didn't want him living with Daniel and I in my place. Now that my dad’s older and has more need of medical care, though, he's living in the extended care area. I visit when I can, but he does not know about Daniel or Jing-Mei. It’s better that way. Dr. Romano and Amy don't know. Don’t tell them. I have it handled…or, at least…I did.

Swallowing hard, Carter nodded, indicating he understood even though he didn’t think what Dave had just written could be real, as he knew Dave had been under Dr. Romano’s care since teenhood, as Dr. Romano was a foster parent and had taken the troubled young Dave Malucci in. Amy was also his foster sister because of that, and Carter knew all that from social conversations. Carter suddenly wondered if Dave was simply lost to the world in terms of his mental health because of all that he had been through, as he had mentioned seeing Lucy, had mistook Sam for Lucy, and was now making a story about how he had planned to see his father for Thanksgiving before the shooting happened. Although Carter understood Dave was despairing over his circumstances, the fact that he was mentioning seeing a dead person and was now inventing people with backstories as if they were real...that scared the hell out of him. Carter wondered if on top of everything else, Dave was beginning to develop cognitive issues.

“…You might have to have the tube in til tomorrow or the next day,” Carter suddenly heard Elizabeth explain softly. “You’re also going to get a dose of your ADHD meds later from Doctor Myers…”

Carter swallowed again, trying his best to stay composed as he sat there even though he was anything but composed. Fortunately, Dave didn’t stay awake long after that and was asleep before Carter had to think of anything to say. After making sure that Dave was sound asleep, Carter gave Mark and Elizabeth a worried look and quickly moved to the door with them, the whiteboard in hand.

“This is not the first time Dave’s said something strange,” Carter muttered worriedly once they had followed him over. “He thought Sam Taggart was Lucy the other day and even asked if Lucy had come to visit him again. I’m worried. Do you think he developed some sort of issue during surgery that hurt his brain and is making him see and believe things that aren’t true? Like…Lucy?! Really?! She’s dead. And now he’s taking about his father being alive when I know he was put into foster care and started living in Romano’s house when he was teenager. I’m worried. I’m really worried.”

Mark and Elizabeth exchanged a look, “Maybe an extra blood test wouldn’t hurt to make sure Malucci’s not overmedicated or something else isn’t wrong,” Mark commented gently even though he was indeed curious and was going to quietly place a call to the home Dave had mentioned and see if Anthony Malucci was in fact a resident there because Dave had never specifically mentioned his father being dead…at least not to him. “Speaking of which…”

“I know,” Carter grumbled darkly, sighing as he moved back towards his cot and set the whiteboard on the portable table before taking a seat on his cot. “It’s time for vitals, right?”

Elizabeth nodded, but before she moved away from Mark, she leaned in close to him, “You might also want to mention this little incident to Doctor Edson,” she whispered softly. “If you see him.”

Nodding, Mark silently masked up and left the room, leaving Elizabeth free to do the vitals and bloodwork for both Dave and Carter even though she was secretly unnerved by what Dave had shared and was concerned for the man’s mental health right alongside Carter.

The playground was cold and snow was falling, and Lucas Romano-Kovac found it overwhelming.

Most of the kids in the school were sledding down the small hill the schoolyard had, making snowmen and snow angels, or having snowball fights, but Lucas found that he didn’t want to do that. All he wanted to do was sit on a piece of playground equipment and stare down at the snow covered rocks in silence.

The day was going quickly, everything seemed easy, and Lucas knew he was supposed to feel happy because it was the last day of school before Thanksgiving break, but…he couldn’t feel anything.

Exhaling, Lucas removed his glove and picked up a jagged looking rock, frowning when he couldn’t feel the cold of it even though he knew it was supposed to feel cold in his bare hand. All it was to him was a jagged looking rock. Wondering if a small walk would help, Lucas silently got up with his glove and the rock in hand and began walking to the part of the playground that was behind the school and just out of sight of the hill. As he walked, he began rubbing the jagged rock against his bare wrist to try and wake his seemingly dead body up. All of a sudden, pain shot through his wrist, as did an unexpected rush of energy. Looking down, Lucas saw that the rock had sliced him on his wrist and he was now bleeding, but he could feel.

And that wasn’t good. He knew he should call Dr. Gallant or someone at the center, as they had encouraged him to reach out if he ever needed to talk, but he couldn’t do that or even ask about doing that at school because the school would tell his parents…

Lucas sighed heavily, his eyes on the hole in the fence that was just big enough for a kid his size to crawl through. He needed to go somewhere and use the phone to talk to Dr. Gallant and Dr. Gallant would probably be able to talk to him and help him without needing to involve his parents.

“Hey Lucas, what are you doing?” Lucas suddenly heard Alex Taggart ask softly. “You’re…”

Lucas scoffed as Alex came into view, Alex’s eyes on his bleeding wrist and the bloodstained rock, “Lucas, what the hell?” Alex whispered anxiously. “If you’re bleeding, you need to tell…”

“Shut up, Alex,” Lucas hissed nervously, covering his injured wrist with his gloved hand. “I need to go find a phone that’s not at the school. Don’t tell anyone…”

Alex frowned as Lucas moved towards the hole, “Wait, Lucas, lemme come too so you’re not by yourself,” he offered anxiously. “It’s snowing and cold and people…shouldn’t be by themselves outside when it’s snowing and cold. My mom said so and she’s a nurse.”

Sighing irritably, Lucas nodded and let Alex follow him out of the schoolyard through the hole in the fence, “We can go over to the 7/11 across the street,” Alex offered. “They have a phone…”

Lucas reluctantly followed Alex over to the 7/11 where there was a payphone. Alex put some coins in the phone and watched as Lucas got a card from the wallet he kept in his pocket, a card that had Dr. Gallant’s information and phone number on it. Lucas dialled the number on the card. There were a couple of rings before someone picked up.

“Is this Doctor Michael Gallant?” Lucas spoke anxiously, his eyes wide with fear as he spoke. “Um, it’s Lucas Kovac. Do you remember me? I was your patient and when I got out of the treatment center, you gave me your card and said that whenever I needed to talk, I could call you. I’m at a payphone with my friend, Alex Taggart, and it’s cold and I need to talk to you. Please!”

Silence filled the phone, “Um, Lucas was it?” a female accented voice suddenly filled the phone in a confused tone. “Doctor Gallant…he’s not available right now.”

“When can I call back?” Lucas asked anxiously. “I really, really need to talk to him.”

A sigh filled the phone, “Lucas, Michael Gallant was killed in Iraq recently,” the female voice replied solemnly. “I…they sent me his phone and his things because I'm his wife. Did you say you were a patient of his?”

A heavy chill filled Lucas, so heavy that he suddenly felt himself on the verge of collapse. He had known Dr. Gallant was in the military, as they had talked about it among many other things during their visits at the treatment centre, but Lucas hadn’t known that the man had gone overseas…

And now this strange woman on the phone was claiming that Dr. Gallant was dead…

Letting the phone drop to the ground, Lucas began to run because he needed to get to the center. He didn’t know exactly how to get there on foot, but he’d figure it out. He was just like Nathan and Nathan always found a way to get what he needed on foot if people wouldn’t help him.

The woman on the phone was lying, Lucas reasoned. She had to be. Dr. Gallant wouldn’t just take off and die without saying goodbye…

Alarmed, Alex took off after Lucas while ignoring the fact that the payphone receiver was laying on the cold ground and that the voice was trying to talk to him, “Lucas!” he yelled anxiously.

Meanwhile, on the other end of the phone, Neela Gallant, who had just received her doctor husband’s personal possessions along with an official notification of his death that she could and would use to get benefits, was at home going through her husband’s things when Lucas had called, could hear anxious yelling and the sound of car horns. She was confused, but now she was concerned because the youth on the other end of the line had sounded deeply troubled.

And now that she thought about it, she had remembered hearing the name Kovac at County when she had done shifts there. Even though the last thing Neela wanted to do at the moment was make more calls, she couldn’t simply ignore Lucas’s strange, very concerning phone call that had obviously been meant for Michael.

Sighing anxiously, Neela set Michael’s things aside and went to place a call to County General.

The ER was slightly noisier and busier than he had left it, Edson observed as he came back into the ER from his counselling session feeling slightly better than he had earlier. He noticed that clerks and nurses were actually at the desk along with Dr. Greene, who was on the phone with someone.

“…Thanks,” Edson suddenly heard Mark say in a concerned voice. “Hey, Doctor Edson?”

Edson turned towards the voice, still not fully reconnected to the outside world after his therapy session, as he had actually ended up admitting to Dr. Meyer that he was grieving Harper and his lost child and that Malucci’s very painful health situation had also caused him to grieve the brutal unfairness of the world. Instead of speaking, however, Mark eyed Edson worriedly, as the man was physically present, but he seemed emotionally off and looked a little distant, almost a little sad.

“Yes, Doctor Greene…sir?” Edson replied carefully, being careful to address the man as he would a superior as Anspaugh had made it clear to him that while he was in the ER, everyone there was to be treated as if they were his boss and he was not to cause any trouble down there or else the next conversation they would be having would be regarding his termination from County.

Mark was immediately taken aback by Edson calling him ‘sir,’ as he knew Edson was a seasoned surgeon and had earned the respect that came with it, but the man was acting and addressing him as if he were an intern.

Instead of prying into the why, however, as he could tell that Edson was uncomfortable with the silence, Mark sighed, “I just got a call from upstairs,” he explained. “We’re being ordered to open back up today and function as we are because the hospital’s losing money. If we get busy, you may be on your own taking care of Doctor Malucci.”

Edson nodded, “Did…did you need to talk?” Mark offered quietly, so very concerned by this very uncharacteristic side of the surgeon. “You seem very quiet. Are you okay?”

“I just did a very, very emotionally heavy session of grief counseling,” Edson explained quietly, as Myers had encouraged him to try being vulnerable to his colleagues and seek support from ones he trusted when having moments of grief. “I lost a fiancée…a pregnant fiancée…on 9/11…”

A phone nearby suddenly rang, but Mark ignored it because Edson’s words and show of vulnerability had shocked him to the core and he wanted to try and connect with the man if he could through quiet conversation.

Unfortunately, just as he was about to speak, he felt a hand on his arm, “Doctor Greene, there’s a Doctor Neela Gallant on the phone,” he heard Haleh speak softly. “She said that a Lucas Kovac called her when he was with his friend, Alex Taggart…”

“Excuse me?!” Sam, who had been working nearby, suddenly spoke up in a concerned voice upon overhearing her son’s name. “Alex is supposed to be in school!”

Mark quickly got on the phone, “Doctor Gallant?” he asked in a concerned voice. “I’m Doctor Mark Greene. Did you mention a Lucas Kovac and Alex Taggart?”

Even though he was concerned about the potentially troubling situation, Edson didn’t get involved because he hadn’t been asked to. He had been asked to care for Malucci, keep an eye on Carter, and just keep his head down and not cause issues, so that was what he was going to do. Although, before he returned to the emotionally charged Carter and to the mess that Malucci was, Edson suddenly found himself needing a small moment to breathe outside because he wasn’t yet reconnected with the world after sobbing his heart out about Harper and Malucci and his other struggles to Dr. Meyer.

What Anspaugh hadn’t known, Edson silently thought to himself as he made his way out into the ambulance bay for a moment to himself, was that the exile to the ER had probably saved his life and not just professionally. After realizing how poorly he had treated Malucci and how he had been responsible for the man almost dying, Dale had simply considered ending it all in the quietest way he could because he considered himself unfit to take care of himself or anyone at all.

And then Anspaugh had intervened and had made him step back and change his pace and Dale found himself that he was grateful that he hadn’t gotten to actually do what he had almost planned to do. He hadn’t opened up about his laid aside plan of suicide to anyone except for Dr. Myers and Dr. Myers had thanked him for confiding in him and was now helping him overcome his pain through talking and other ‘therapy homework’ instead of tossing him in the Psych bin indefinitely like a piece of useless trash.

Exhaling, Edson silently hugged himself as he returned inside and to his assigned station of Exam One.

When Edson entered Exam One, he of course saw that Dave was, of course, asleep while Carter was silently flexing Dave’s legs and talking to him gently.

Not wanting to intrude on Carter and Dave’s brotherly bonding time, Edson silently sat down on the floor near the door and rested his head back against the wall. He was drained from his session with Myers and being outside had at least gotten oxygen back into his lungs, but he still needed a moment to collect himself mentally because he was not currently in the frame of mind to be a good doctor. What he didn’t notice, however, was that Carter had heard him come in and was watching him worriedly, especially the moment he had seemingly sank to the floor like he was having a medical emergency of some kind.

“Dale?!”

Fighting the urge to scoff, as he was pissed that Carter couldn’t seem to stop watching him like a hawk for one minute, Edson sighed, took a couple of moments to muster what emotional energy he could, which wasn’t very much at all, and opened his eyes. He was surprised, however, to see Carter kneeling beside him using one hand to check his face and forehead while using the other to try and check his pulse. Before Edson could bring himself to speak, Carter had snatched the stethoscope from around his neck and was checking his heartbeat in silence.

“John, I’m fine,” Edson finally managed to say weakly even though he wasn’t. “Just a little tired.”

Carter sighed anxiously, so Edson gave him a look, “If you really wanna tell someone, don’t be surprised if Anspaugh finds out and I end up unemployed by tomorrow,” he replied tiredly, too exhausted to fight for long. “I’ll probably be homeless six months after that, as paying for my parents stay at Garden Vista eats over half my salary and will eat my savings into nothing in no…”

“Wait, did you say Garden Vista?” Carter asked in a confused voice, remembering what Dave had written on the whiteboard. “Um, while you were gone, Dave woke and wrote a message about his father being there. If your parents are there, you would know if Dave’s father’s there…right?”

Edson exhaled and made to get up, but Carter carefully helped him to his feet instead, “Tony?” Edson spoke quietly, confused as Carter checked his pulse yet again. “Yeah, I’ve seen Tony Malucci there. I’ve also seen Doctor Malucci there visiting Tony when I’ve been there visiting my parents. Tony and Malucci usually argue over food while working on puzzles or watching TV together. Tony always wants coffee and something unhealthy, but Malucci won’t let him have that cause the man’s got Type 2 diabetes. Malucci usually wears his father down after a lot of arguing and a hug, though, unless Tony’s having a bad day mentally and then Malucci usually gets a little bit roughed up…”

Carter frowned as he helped Edson sit on the cot at the other end of the room, “I think, Dale, you could use a bit of a rest,” Carter spoke worriedly. “And what do you mean by ‘roughed up?”’

“Beaten up by his dad,” Edson explained grimly, quickly looking at Dave to make sure the man stayed asleep. “I’ve heard bits and pieces from the staff about how Tony Malucci tried to kill himself by overdosing on diabetes meds back when Malucci was finishing his residency over at Mercy and so Malucci Baker Acted him. That led to Tony being put into Garden Vista in the mental health ward because he was deemed unfit to live alone and Malucci didn’t want him around his kid. Then, as Tony got older and needed more care, he was moved into the extended care area. Tony Malucci was pissed as hell at his son for putting him in a home but tolerates the visits now cause Malucci tries to make them pleasant even when he’s tired. Sometimes, though, Tony has a bad day due to bad blood sugar, lack of meds, staff crankiness, or just memory lapses and Malucci gets the consequences. That place, is so woefully understaffed, though that Malucci has never said anything to anyone. I happened to personally witness it a couple of times, unfortunately, and he offered me moonlight shifts at his and Amy’s clinic to keep my mouth shut. Paid moonlight shifts.”

Carter’s eyes widened and Edson sighed grimly, “Even though I took the shifts, I also noticed that Malucci did his best to avoid me after the last time I saw his father get physical with him at Garden Vista,” Edson continued in a grim voice. “I wanted to help him, but Malucci got anxious as all hell to the point of an anxiety attack, so I promised to keep it to myself, but he still took to avoiding me. I…I know you gotta do something about this now that you know, John. I'm sorry to add to your plate, but Malucci opened the door himself by mentioning it. I just thought you'd be better off with the real story than the fluffy one he probably gave you."

“Dave mentioned having plans with his father for Thanksgiving, plans that he obviously can’t fulfill now,” Carter replied in a quiet, but concerned voice, suddenly feeling like he needed to step up and protect his brother from an obviously bad situation. “He wrote all about it on a whiteboard that Mark gave him. I thought Dave was making it up, as he’s never mentioned any other father except his foster father, Doctor Romano, but now that I know it’s true…maybe I should go there in his place.” I can lie, say I’m Dave’s friend, and that Dave had to work. I want to see this Tony Malucci for myself.”

Edson looked concerned, “If you go see Tony Malucci by yourself, John, that’s gonna end badly for you,” he replied in a concerned voice. “Look, I gotta drop in there to see my own folks anyway on Thanksgiving, so let me come with you to see Tony. He knows me and might behave himself if he has a familiar face around that won't put up with his crap like Malucci does. I'm more familiar with that situation than you are. Promise me that you won’t go over there by yourself, okay? Promise me we can go together."

Carter nodded, but before he could reply, the door opened and Mark poked his head in, “Hey, Carter, Edson, I just got a call from a Doctor Neela Gallant and she said that Lucas Kovac and Alex Taggart called from an unknown number,” Mark explained grimly. “Lucas seemed upset and wanted to talk to Doctor Michael Gallant, but Neela…she told Lucas that Michael had been killed in Iraq recently.”

Fear filled Carter’s face as he checked his watch, “Lucas is supposed to be in school,” he realized in a horrified voice. “And it’s freezing cold and snowing. Did someone tell Amy, Luka, and Romano?”

“Sam Taggart went to see if they’re still here visiting Nathan, as they do that every day,” Mark replied grimly. “And Alex is apparently diabetic. By the way, Carter, the hospital ordered us to re-open and work as we currently are, so Doctor Edson’s going to help you with Malucci while the rest of us get back up and running.”

Carter nodded, “I don’t have a problem with that,” he replied anxiously. “He’s been doing a good job so far, but Mark…can we do anything to help find Lucas and Alex? I’m still not showing symptoms.”

“You keep doing what you’re doing with Malucci, Carter, as whatever you’ve been doing seems to be working for him,” Mark replied in a concerned voice. “If you keep from having symptoms for the rest of the day, you can go have a shower and take breaks outside of the room, but you are helping Malucci’s recovery just by being here for him. Doctor Edson, any questions or concerns? We’ll spell you off whenever you need to take a break, so don’t be afraid to talk to us. We’re here to help.”

Edson shook his head silently, the feeling of still being lost to the world around him still fogging his mind slightly even though he had managed to make conversation.

Even though he wanted to stay and talk to the two of them longer, as he could feel unresolved uneasiness in the room, Mark knew he had to get back to re-opening the ER, check on the recovering Ray, and help try to resolve the crisis involving the missing Lucas and Alex that was suddenly upon them, so he nodded and left the room.

Carter, meanwhile, looked at Edson and could immediately tell that the man needed rest because he wasn’t mentally connected to the world around him at present. Carter knew that the man had just been at counseling, which was part of the conditions that Anspaugh had sent him into his ER exile with, but the man looked absolutely drained from it as if he was almost completely devoid of life and awareness of the world around him. It was so concerning, and Carter knew that although he couldn’t do anything about Anthony Malucci or even do anything about the missing Lucas or Alex at the moment, he knew he could do something about Edson because they were pretty much still isolated, and both needed to be well so they could help Dave. And Edson clearly wasn’t well.

“Listen, Dale, why don’t you lie down for a few hours?” Carter suggested gently, gazing at Edson worriedly. “I’m a doctor and I can keep an eye on Dave for a while well enough, but you…you need to rest.”

Edson looked tempted, as he his emotionally drained self was beginning to feel unusually drowsy, but he simply continued to sit on the cot holding his arms around himself as if he hadn’t heard Carter. He had been given an assignment and didn’t wanna risk getting fired for neglecting it.

Carter, however, gently took hold of Edson and gently maneuvered his body to where it was laying down on the cot and Edson was surprisingly light, making Carter wonder if the man had had time to grab any sort of nourishment since being assigned to take care of Dave. Carter suspected that Edson hadn’t taken time to eat or shower, as Peter had been around more often than not, and would not hesitate to sell Edson out to Anspaugh if he suspected Dave was being mistreated again. Carter knew that Edson was secretly intimidated by Peter Benton, mostly likely to the point where he had neglected himself to make sure he didn’t piss Peter off. That self-harming behavior made Carter suspect that Anspaugh had warned Edson that his next misstep would be his last and Carter didn’t like that at all, as County staff were supposed to practice forgiveness, patience, compassion, and grace among each other, or that was at least what was preached by the board. The head honchos were not supposed to threaten staff into silently harming themselves in order to do and be what the hospital expected them to do and be.

Anspaugh’s unforgiving, ultimatium-filled approach to Edson’s struggles truly pissed Carter off. Carter found himself tempted to go scream at Anspaugh, as he wasn't currently on staff there and would probably face no consequences for it, but others needed him too much at the moment for him to make that plan into a reality.

Edson, who had no idea what was on Carter's mind, wanted very much Carter what the hell he was doing forcing him to lie down when he had work to take care of, but he suddenly felt himself being covered with a blanket before he could open his mouth, “I’ve got you,” he heard Carter speak in a gentle voice. “I know you’re tired and overwhelmed, Dale, but I’ve got you. Rest.”

Exhaling sleepily, Edson rolled on to his side and hunched into a ball while pulling the blanket over his face, as he did not sleep well on his back or in any position but hunched in a secure ball on his side with a blanket over his face, as all of that made him feel safe from the cruelties of the world. He suddenly felt Carter removing his sneakers and yawned. Sleep was calling to him rather loudly.

And so Dale Edson simply let himself surrender to the call. As he allowed his eyes to close, Edson heard Carter move away from the cot and then suddenly didn’t hear anything at all because he allowed his spent body to become lost to the world. Maybe a deep rest would do him some good.

Carter, meanwhile, set Edson’s sneakers on one of the counters in the room and then moved over to the phone to call up to Dietary. Even though Edson had been taking care of his meals for the last three days, Carter had no intention of waking the man when it was time for dinner and the vitals checks that came with dinner. He would order his own food and also order Dale some dinner, and then he would check his own vitals and Dave’s and get someone else to help with blood draws.

As Carter began putting in dinner requests to Dietary for himself and Dale, he silently moved the curtain on the door to look out into the ER just in time to see uniformed police enter the patient area and approach the desk to talk to Mark, most likely about Lucas Kovac and Alex Taggart, who were also currently lost to the world that they knew.

Hopefully, Carter thought sadly, both kids would be found safe.

Chapter Text

Seattle, Washington

“Sir?”

Blinking, Doug looked up from the patch of floor he had been staring at while sitting at the gate waiting for the boarding announcement. He was surprised to see a flight attendant looking worriedly at him, “Yes?” he asked quietly, giving the attendant a confused look.

“Sir, they’re calling for final boarding to Chicago,” she explained softly. “Is this your flight?”

Exhaling softly, Doug nodded and offered the attendant an apologetic look as he got to his seat and grabbed his carry-on bag, which was a duffel of clothes, a headset, a laptop, and a couple of books as well as a flashlight that he would use to navigate the dark hallways at his mother’s house because he didn’t want to risk stumbling around in the dark when a nightmare would wake him. He silently made his way to the gate, showed his boarding pass and ID, and then quietly put his bag in the overhead compartment before settling himself in his first-class seat.

Doug had said he’d be fine flying coach, but Dr. Dremmer had booked for the first-class seat for him after Doug had gotten to work his last shift before going to Chicago for Thanksgiving and had promptly realized he needed to go to Chicago that day and speak to his mother by himself about Elton Douglas and the possibility of having a son before he actually did any DNA testing. Although he loved his family and wanted their support, Doug knew he first needed time alone with his mother to talk over the issue, as when it had happened, his mother had been the one he had turned to first.

Doug, of course, had told Carol immediately about his need to go early and speak to his mother in private and she had supported him, promising to bring the girls once they were out of school.

Doug had then told Dr. Dremmer about his mindset and the man had immediately booked him a flight and sent him home to pack, encouraging him to do whatever he needed to get the issue settled. Grateful for a supportive wife and boss, Doug had packed a bag and had quietly left for the airport while the girls were still in school. On his way to the airport, Doug had called his mother, expressed his need to talk to her about the situation privately, as they had already talked about him and the family coming for Thanksgiving to address something related to it, and said he was coming early alone and his mother had been overjoyed, promising to make up dinner and his room for him.

Now, as he sat in his seat, Doug finally allowed himself a breath and closed his eyes to rest while pretending to listen to the pre-flight chatter and announcements.

Chicago, Illinois

“If I let you out of this bed, Ray, I want you to go rest in the lounge until someone can drive you home,” Kerry spoke in a firm voice as she sat beside the gurney where Ray was sitting, silently changing back into his street clothes. “It’s blizzarding, you’re coming off of a panic attack…”

Ray sighed tiredly, “You know I have to do a required amount of hours as a med-student,” he replied in a tired voice, frowning as a uniformed police officer suddenly came into the room. “What the hell? You called the cops on me cause I want to leave?! Really?!”

Kerry, however, frowned, “Excuse me, Officer,” she spoke sternly, glaring at the cop. “What are you doing in here?”

“Officer Jones, ma’am,” Officer Jones, a stern looking guy with an olive complexion and a dark crew cut replied sternly. “We need to talk to Ray Barnett about the disappearance of Lucas Kovac…”

Kerry’s eyes widened in shock and Ray froze, “I haven’t seen Lucas in months,” he began shakily, suddenly feeling nauseous again at the thought of being accused of hurting Lucas again after the fiasco in Rogers Park.

“Ray’s been here recovering from an illness for the last three days,” Kerry spoke sternly, glaring at Officer Jones. “When exactly did Lucas go missing?”

Officer Jones frowned, “He was reported missing from school about half an hour ago,” he replied sternly. “It doesn’t matter, though. Mister Barnett is still very much a person of interest in Amy Romano-Kovac’s kidnapping last year because his fingerprints were found on a knife that was taken off Doctor Amy Romano when she…”

“I’ve only met her once that I can remember,” Ray interrupted in a confused voice, frowning. “I did some janitorial work for her clinic last year. That was before I got diagnosed with my traumatic brain injury. My memories in between the times Elton Douglas assaulted me…are sketchy at best. There’s paperwork so you don’t think I’m faking a TBI…”

Officer Jones scoffed as noise filled the hallway and Kerry responded by offering Officer Jones the chart that had information about the TBI, but she paused, “You got assaulted by Elton more than once?” she asked quietly as Elton read through the chart. “When was the…?”

“May,” Ray replied quietly, suddenly laying back because he felt nauseous. “When he was here as a patient. It took a while for a nurse to show up to help me with everything and you were busy arguing with DeRaad about the fact that he let Elton be unrestrained…”

Horror filled Kerry’s face, as she was now most definitely brought back to her memories of Lucy Knight being stabbed. Lucy had been alone with the unstable, unrestrained Paul Sobriki when she had been attacked back on Valentine’s Day 2000 and ultimately killed, and Ray had also been alone with the unstable, unrestrained Elton Douglas when he had been attacked back in May.

Fortunately, Kerry thought grimly, Ray was still alive to tell his tale, and Kerry found herself wondering what exactly Elton had done to Ray…

Ray, meanwhile, had engaged in quiet breathing exercises that Morris had taught him while trying to block the cop and Weaver out. Kerry, meanwhile, turned her back to Ray and began trying to order the cop out, as he was harassing a patient with a TBI who was also dealing with unresolved trauma.

As the argument progressed with no sign of stopping, Ray pushed back his feelings of nausea, slowly sat up again, got up, and slipped out the side door of the trauma room to go find his things, figuring that Morris was babysitting his stuff because he hadn’t seen it anywhere in the trauma room.

By the time Sam reached Nathan’s hospital room to let them know about Lucas’s disappearance, she could hear anxious voices coming from inside of it, “…I feel like this is my fault,” she heard Nathan say weakly. “He’s mad that I killed Elton…”

Quiet cursing filled the air, “Get back in bed,” Sam heard Luka speak anxiously. “Nathan…”

“For the love of God, just let me have the pain that I deserve,” Nathan argued shakily. “I brought this crap on all of us because of what I did. I don’t even know how that gun got inside my jacket, but it was there, and I chose to use it! And now Lucas is lost in a blizzard! He’s mad about what I did and didn’t know how to tell me, so he ran away from school!”

Amy suddenly moved into the hallway and froze when she saw Sam, “I was coming to tell you about Lucas and Alex,” Sam explained in a concerned voice. “But…you seem to already know.”

“The school called us when recess ended and they found the boys missing,” Amy explained in a distressed voice. “Nathan overheard it, threw up on the floor, and now he’s up out of bed. I have to find someone to help me get him sitting down and to clean up the floor…”

Quiet sobbing suddenly filled the air followed by a small thump, “Shh,” they heard Luka say softly. “Just sit here in your chair. The brake’s set so you can just sit and breathe. You really don’t need another seizure…”

“My father’s in the social room reading to Reese Benton,” Amy spoke shakily. “I should find him.”

Without waiting for a reply from Sam, Amy silently made her way to the social room and sighed heavily as she made her way towards her father and Reese. She could immediately see that Reese was asleep on the floor under a small blanket and her father was reading to himself.

 “Dad, the school called…” Amy spoke in a quiet, somber voice. “Lucas and a kid named Alex Taggart…they ran off during recess…they just barely called us.”

Dr. Romano froze and frowned as he turned to face her, “And Nathan’s having a meltdown in his room because he thinks Lucas is mad at about Elton’s death,” Amy continued shakily. “The school called us while we were sitting with Nathan…”

“Oh, my God,” Dr. Romano breathed irritably as Sam came into the playroom. “I never did like that school. How could they not be supervising them properly? Have the police been called?”

Sam frowned as she approached, “They’re downstairs,” she replied in a grim voice. “And the school’s in lockdown. One of the cops went off to talk to Ray Barnett, as Ray’s apparently been on the police’s radar since the Rogers Park thing…”

Amy suddenly looked angry, “Ray Barnett was a victim of Elton’s violence and needs to be left alone so he can recover in peace like he wants to!” she replied in an unusually angry voice. “He’s got absolutely nothing to do with this! Why are they even bothering Ray? He’s not even here…”

“He’s apparently been downstairs for the last three days with some illness,” Sam replied worriedly. “What do you mean Elton attacked him?”

Amy swore quietly, “Elton beat up Ray at my clinic and then forced him to come to the house back when I was kidnapped to feed me food and water so I wouldn’t die,” she replied in an angry, distressed voice. “I don’t know how Elton did it, but I remember Ray being there and I remember Ray also giving me a knife so I could get away. He also pepper sprayed Elton before Elton knocked him out cold. Do you really think I was capable of escaping that monster by myself?!”

Dr. Romano’s eyes widened, and Amy sighed anxiously, “I need to go downstairs and tell the police to leave Ray alone,” she spoke in an anxious voice. “And I don’t need to tell Luka or Nathan.”

Before anyone could comment, Amy silently and quickly left the room and moved to the elevator in a flash, full of concern for Ray and whatever he was dealing with. Dr. Romano, meanwhile, gave Sam a concerned look as if he couldn’t believe what he had just heard come out of Amy’s mouth.

“Ray, I think it’s a mistake for you to leave,” Morris pled in an anxious voice, having spotted and followed Ray to the staff lounge after Ray had left the trauma room. “You should rest.”

Scoffing, Ray silently fetched his bag from his locker, “I was trying to do that, and I got harassed by the cops over the Rogers Park mess,” he replied darkly. “I’m done with this crap. I’ll still pay for the adoption and for Sarah’s care, but I’m literally quitting med-school. Who the hell has faith…?”

“And you should stop giving Sarah money,” Morris argued anxiously. “She’s not using it for anything good, and you already know that.”

Ray sighed anxiously, but nodded grimly, “I just want the baby to be born and given to someone who can take care of it,” he replied in a concerned, slightly pained voice as he looked at Morris. “Sarah wants it born and then she wants to go off on some road trip to God-knows-where. I just want to move on with my life someplace where I’m not harassed by cops and having to reveal my health problems to everyone. Do me a favor, will you, Archie? Walk me to the EL and watch me get on? Then you can lie to Doctor Weaver and say you drove me home.”

Morris sighed heavily, “If I say no, you’re gonna do it anyway,” he acquiesced quietly. “Will you at least call me when you get to our apartment so I know you got there safely?”

As Ray and Morris left the lounge, Ray nodded, “…I’m telling you now, Officer Jones, Ray Barnett saved my life in that house and there is no reason for me to believe he would ever harm Lucas,” an anxious voice suddenly filled the air. “I think your reasoning isn’t correct. He may have made a mistake…”

Deeply confused, Ray followed the voice and found Amy, Mark, and Kerry at the desk with two pissed off looking uniformed police officers, “He almost killed a kid in Rogers Park with drugs…” one of the officers spoke sternly

“That was an accident!” Ray suddenly yelled, sick to death of being reminded of Rogers Park all the time. “Lucas Kovac was suffering from withdrawals to the point where he was really sick! I almost killed Doctor Kovac’s kid cause I accidentally gave him too much of something that was supposed to help him with withdrawals. It was something I used to help my bandmates get through their withdrawal symptoms because they liked to get high in between shows and then struggle at rehearsal! I measured the dosage wrong cause I couldn’t think properly! After that, I went and got tested, did some therapies, and got on medication! For God’s sake, quit bringing up the Rogers Park stuff already! I’m gonna quit medical school anyway, as doctors with TBI’s…”

Amy suddenly looked concerned, “Seeing as I’ve had my own struggles with such injuries and still managed to complete medical school, an internship, and a residency, and I co-owned a clinic til it was destroyed, I’m very interested in hearing what you think of doctors who suffer traumatic brain injuries,” she spoke, suddenly looking amused.

Mark and Kerry looked surprised, the officers looked taken aback, and Morris looked shocked, but Ray sighed and lowered his head, “I didn’t mean to offend you,” Ray spoke in a penitent tone.

“I’m sure you didn’t mean to threaten to quit medical school either, because I don’t think you should,” Amy spoke quietly as she walked over to him. “It’s not easy to do medical school with any sort of trauma, including brain injuries, but it is possible. You’re doing the right things, like therapy and medication, but having friends both inside and outside of the work environment helps too. A friend or two can help you with any deficiencies that you might struggle with. You should also make the medical school aware of your situation so you can get proper accommodations.”

Ray sighed, “Who was your friend or two?” he asked in an intrigued voice.

“My fellow student and foster brother, Dave Malucci,” Amy replied softly, much to the amazement of Mark and Kerry. “I couldn’t get into schools in the U.S. because of struggles I had that related to my difficulties with learning and brain issues I had developed from spousal abuse. I got into school in Grenada, though, and my lovely brother, Dave, and his late wife, Dana…they both helped me. Dana was an LPN at the hospital where Dave and I were assigned to do our rotations and so even when Dave was too busy studying, Dana was there to help. I also was upfront about my struggles with my supervisors, so they were helpful with making sure I shared a shift with a helper.”

Ray gave Amy a look, “After how patient you were with me at the clinic, I think you’d be an absolute dream to have as a supervisor,” he admitted softly, suddenly feeling very at ease around Amy. “You’d be tough, I’m sure, but very fair, but I don’t think you work here right now, right? I heard you had two babies on the day of the shooting where Greg Pratt was killed…”

“They’re currently in the NICU with their own struggles because they were born too early and they’re not allowed visitors right now for a long while,” Amy explained grimly. “And I’m currently undergoing treatment for ovarian cancer, but if I was allowed to be your supervisor, I’d very much like to be because I believe you have potential and deserve a fair opportunity to succeed.”

Mark suddenly smirked, “You know I’m Chief of Staff, right, Doctor Kovac?” he spoke gently. “That means I can do anything I want in terms of staffing within reason, and you’ve worked with us before, so I already know your capabilities. I think that between you and me, as we have the most experience with challenges relating to our brains, we could both be a friend to Ray and help him succeed. That is, if he wants to succeed.”

Morris offered Ray an encouraging smile, “Dude, you’re so close to becoming a doctor,” he replied in a kind voice. “Please give it a try?”

Ray sighed before nodding, “Good,” Mark replied encouragingly, smiling. “If you just wanna rest at the desk for a moment, the three of us can have a meeting to talk about what we’ll be doing to help you and what help you need. Doctor Kovac, do you have a minute? Follow me.”

Deeply confused, Amy followed Mark and was surprised when he took her over to the door to Exam One and offered her a mask, “If you want, you can help me look in on Carter and Dave,” he offered softly. “I know it’s been a while since you’ve seen Dave, and I figure he might be happy to see you.” We can chat about Ray after we find Lucas and Alex Taggart, all right? For now, take a moment to breathe.”

Offering Mark a grateful smile, Amy silently took the mask and put it over her face, “I’m going to get back on the phone and keep my ears open for news on Lucas,” Mark promised sincerely. “I want you to take your time, okay? And take a breath.”

Edson was still sound asleep, and Dave was asleep, and Carter was fine, but feeling quite lonely and also feeling distraught over the fact that two children, one of which he knew semi-well, were lost in the current blizzard and he couldn’t do anything to help them.

Instead of dwelling on the worst, however, Carter planted himself in the chair beside Dave’s bed, took a picture of the notes on the whiteboard with his phone, and then erased the notes off the board so that Dave’s private life would stay private. As Carter finished with the board, the door opened and a masked Amy came into the room, “Oh, my God,” Carter replied in a shocked voice, quickly setting the whiteboard on the portable table before getting up. “How are you?”

“Oh, I had one treatment already and it’s doing its thing,” Amy replied softly. “How are you?”

Carter frowned, “Treatment?” he asked quietly. “You’ve started that already?”

“Yeah,” Amy replied simply, sighing as she moved over to the empty chair next to the bed and sat before taking Dave’s loose hand. “How’s Dave doing? I heard you had some excitement here…”

Carter sighed, “He’s strong,” he spoke reassuringly. “But…he’ll be a patient in the ER until after Thanksgiving and then he’ll be moved upstairs for rehabilitation. He’ll probably be on the same floor that I was on after I got stabbed. I’ve been doing exercises with his legs multiple times a day, every day since we’ve been isolated in here, but he’s still not feeling anything…”

“Doesn’t matter,” Amy replied softly, gently squeezing Dave’s hand. “Dave’s still my brother and always will be. And now he’s yours too. We’ve got a pretty awesome person in our life, John. Whether or not Dave can walk doesn’t matter. At least he’s alive.”

Before Carter could reply, Dave suddenly stirred, having felt Amy’s hand, “Hi!” Amy spoke in a warm voice, smiling at seeing the pure shock and joy in Dave’s eyes as she gently brushed the hair off of his sweaty forehead. “Are you happy to see me, bro?”

Dave nodded slightly even though he was very tired and didn’t feel up to using the whiteboard to communicate, but Amy quickly caught on to his tiredness, “Dave, I know you’re tired, so I’m not going to stay long,” she spoke gently. “I’ll come back in a day or two, all right? Love you, my brother.”

To Carter’s shock, Dave signed ‘I love you’ with both of his hands, although it was shaky. As she stood, Amy gently kissed his forehead and Dave sighed sleepily before he closed his eyes again.

“I didn’t know Dave knew sign language?” Carter spoke quietly, awed by what he had seen.

Amy smiled, “He learned it a while ago back when we had the clinic so he could communicate with all types of patients,” she explained gently, suddenly hearing a light snore from behind her. “Wait, John…if you and I are talking…”

Deeply curious, Amy turned and frowned when she saw the blanket-covered mass in the cot, “That would be Doctor Dale Edson,” Carter explained gently, surprised by the relieved expression that suddenly filled Amy's face. “He’s Dave’s official doctor while we wait out our isolation. He’s on loan to the ER from the surgical floor until January.”

“I’m so relieved Dale’s still practicing medicine after what he’s been through,” Amy replied softly, concerned by the way Carter had said ‘on loan,’ her expression suddenly one of pure empathy because she figured Edson must be struggling to the point where the hospital had readjusted his schedule against his will. “And here of all places. I hope he’s got a good support system here. I…well…Dave and I both encouraged him to develop a support system when he told us where he worked, as I thought this hospital had a lot of great people who could be his friend because he had worked here for so long and with so many good people, and he promised he’d try…”

Carter looked concerned, as he had not kept in touch with Edson very well himself after leaving surgery and suddenly felt guilty as hell about that, but Amy didn’t pay attention to his expression and instead turned back around before yawning, “Oh,” she breathed sleepily. “Excuse me.”

Sighing tiredly, Amy rested her arms on the gurney rail and rested her head on top of her arms, “I…I think I just need a little rest,” she spoke sleepily. “Everything…everything’s catching up with me. I hope you don’t mind, John.”

“Not at all,” Carter replied softly, relieved that Amy was taking a rest after all she had been through.

It was dark and snowing harder by the time that Doug landed in Chicago and collected his rental car, so he drove carefully and kept the music off because he really didn’t want to end up in an accident and risk leaving his daughters fatherless.

For what seemed like an eternity, Doug drove and found joy in the silence because it allowed him to process what he was doing and take his time with it.

All of a sudden, just as Doug pulled off the interstate into a commercial/park-filled area of the city that he had to drive to before he would get to his mother’s house, he felt the car begin to crap out. Pissed off, he checked the fuel gauge and realized that there was barely any gas in it.

“I should have checked it before I left the airport,” Doug grumbled, pissed off at himself and his inability to take care of himself properly lately. “I’ve been so distracted lately, though, that it’s a wonder I’ve been able to get out of bed and dress myself in the morning. God!”

Scoffing at his own shortsightedness, Doug pulled over next to an empty curb, got his phone out, and quickly dialed AMA’s 24/7 line for a tow. While he waited, he wondered where exactly he was as it had been so long that he had been to Chicago that he didn’t exactly recognize it anymore.

A loud banging noise suddenly filled the air. Deeply confused, Doug hung up his call, pocketed his phone, and forced his way out of the car only to find a half-frozen Alex Taggart holding a backpack over one shoulder, “Hey, I need some help!” Alex spoke anxiously through chattering teeth. “My friend…he’s in the park…he’s crying and shivering! I want to go home, but he wants to find his doctor! He’s sad and hurt! Can you help?!”

Even though it was freezing cold outside, his mother was holding dinner for him, and he was not in the best frame of mind, Doug nodded because he didn’t want to abandon children who were in need of help, “Where’s your friend?” he asked in a concerned, slightly anxious voice.

Alex pointed into the park, “He’s sitting on the frozen pond near the playground, but I don’t think he knows where he is!” he explained in an anxious voice. “His name is Lucas!  I’m Alex! I’m diabetic, but I wanna help my friend!”

Alarmed, Doug quickly got his phone out and handed it to Alex, “I’m Doctor Ross,” he explained anxiously, quickly moving around to the trunk where he had put his luggage. He quickly found the flashlight in his bag before slamming the trunk shut and made sure Alex was in the car before making his way into the snow-covered park with the flashlight on. “Sit in my car and take your medicine and phone 9-1-1!”

“Lucas!” Doug shouted frantically as he stumbled through the drifts, falling over more often than not because he couldn’t tell where the footpath was. “Lucas!”

After what seemed like an eternity, Doug came across dim lights that illuminated snow-covered playground equipment and bits of what appeared to be a frozen pond covered in snow. As he neared the pond, he could see what appeared to a pre-teen crouched in the middle of the ice, silently hugging himself with his head lowered, “LUCAS!”

Lucas, however, didn’t respond and so Doug carefully made his way out on to the ice and promptly slipped, as the ice was jagged and hard to walk on. Almost immediately, he felt pain shoot through his left leg, but he promptly ignored it, forced himself back to his feet, and continued slowly across the ice where the young man was sitting.

Cracking noises filled the air underneath him as the wind and snow beat him mercilessly, but Doug kept his pace until he reached Lucas, “Lucas?” Doug called out in a concerned voice. “Lucas, I’m Doug. I’m a doctor. Your friend, Alex…he said you were hurt and sad…and that you were looking for a doctor…”

Lucas stared at Doug silently before he sighed, “Doctor Gallant’s dead, isn’t he?” he asked mournfully as if he had no idea where he was or that he was sitting in the middle of a freezing cold park in the middle of a snowstorm. “That’s what I was told on the phone, and I can’t find him.”

“Um, I don’t know who that is,” Doug replied in a concerned voice, frowning as he removed his coat intending to give it to Lucas to warm him up. “But, Lucas, we…we can talk about it if you let me help you off the ice. It’s…it’s kind of cold out here…and snowy.”

Lucas blinked, “I…I don’t feel anything,” he replied quietly, shaking his head. “Not a thing.”

“Well, I do, and I can tell you that it’s very cold,” Doug stated patiently. “So how about…how about I give you my coat…?”

Doug offered his coat, but Lucas shook his head, “I’m not cold,” he replied quietly. “I don’t need it.”

Exhaling, as he knew arguing about the coat wouldn’t do any good, Doug tossed it on the bank and instead offered his hands, “Okay then, so why don’t we crawl slowly off the ice and then talk while we walk to my car?” he suggested softly. “Your friend…Alex…is there…”

Shrugging, Lucas took Doug’s hands and Doug promptly noticed a jagged cut on Lucas’s left wrist that looked bad and also looked self-inflicted. Instead of commenting on the cut, however, Doug slowly began to scoot backwards and ignored how the jaggedness of the ice was cutting into his pants, “Scoot forward slowly and don’t get up,” he directed softly, ignoring the pain shooting through his left leg while he focused on Lucas. “Go slow.”

As Lucas and Doug slowly began making their way off of the ice together, the cracking sound increased, and Doug began to feel very afraid that they wouldn’t make it to the bank safely. Suddenly, white lights flooded the area and Doug found himself blinded and unable to see Lucas or where he was.

“Woah! Oh my God! Point the camera over there!”

“What the hell are you idiots doing?! We’re supposed to be here filming nature crap for film studies class!”

Doug could suddenly hear teenagers talking loudly nearby, but he couldn’t see anything, “My God, that guy is trying to rescue that kid from the ice!” a voice shouted. “Are you getting this?! This will totally help our grade!”

“Oh my God, is that Lucas?! Lucas!”

A gasp filled the air as the cracking increased further, “Rachel, you better phone your dad!” Doug heard an anxious voice speak. “That ice is cracking a lot! They’re gonna fall through! We have to phone someone!”

“Rachel?” Doug called out, wondering if it was Rachel Greene talking as the voice sounded familiar. “Rachel, it’s Doctor Ross…do you remember me?”

Rachel, who had been in the park filming a nature assignment for film studies class with a group of classmates and had lost track of time, suddenly froze at Doug’s voice, “Oh, my God…Doctor Ross?!” she called out anxiously, immediately recognizing the name from when she was a little girl. “Doctor Ross, what are you doing?!”

“I’m trying to get this kid named Lucas off of the ice, but I can’t see!” Doug yelled anxiously. “The lights are too bright! There’s also a diabetic kid named Alex in my car that’s at the curb! He’s supposed to be calling 9-1-1 on my phone!”

The cracking intensified and Doug suddenly caught a glimpse of Lucas as the ice beneath both of them suddenly gave way, sending them both plunging into the frigid pond water in a hurry.

“…Sarah, I don’t want you going out tonight,” Tony spoke in a distressed voice as he sat in the passenger seat of Unit 47 with his cell-phone to his ear while his partner Ray Shepard drove their rig through the snowy streets of Chicago. “Why not? Because you’re about four months pregnant and at your last appointment, your doctor said you had to start doing less…”

Ray looked over at Tony as Tony frowned and sighed heavily, “What if I brought you a bag of Cheetos from 7/11 when Shep and I break for meal?” Tony offered in a concerned voice. “And a Slurpee?”

Shep scoffed, “Is that stuff even good for the baby?” he asked in a concerned whisper.

Tony suddenly swore and put his phone away, “Call dropped,” he muttered darkly even though he wondered if Sarah had hung up on him due to needing space. “And so what if she has Cheetos and a Slurpee once in a while? It’s not going to kill her or the kid. Do you think she’s happy about this? Do you think I am? She should be in school!”

“Is the dad even involved?” Shep asked curiously. “I heard he was way over 18…”

Tony scoffed, “He doesn’t want the kid and I’m not pressing charges for what he and Sarah did because I heard he wasn’t in his right mind when he made that decision,” he replied in a concerned voice. “As in…he got some sort of brain injury from violence. I’m not going to punish him if that affected his decision-making ability. Besides, Sarah did admit to me that she told him she was 18, which may have screwed up his judgment even more. I’m a military vet, for God’s sake. Some of my vet buddies have brain injuries and I visit them at the VA. Some of them live there cause they can’t live on their own due to their injuries. They…they struggle with making good decisions sometimes. It was best for me to just have compassion on the guy. It’s weird, though, that he insists on giving Sarah and I money when she’s not even keeping the kid. She doesn’t want it. And I want to stop taking his money, as he’s only a med-student, but he can get a little rude about offering it…”

Before Shep, who thought that the situation with his partner and his partner's pregnant daughter sounded very bizarre, could reply, a snowball suddenly hit Tony’s window, causing it to crack due to the cold, “What the…?!” he snapped in an upset voice, quickly pulling to a stop and putting the ambulance in park.

Wondering what was going on, Shep and Tony got out of the ambulance just in time to see the half-frozen Alex pop the trunk of Doug’s rental car to see if there was anything inside that he could take into the park because he had heard a lot of yelling and seen lights flash on, “Kid!” Shep yelled. “What are you doing?!”

Alex managed to pull Doug’s duffel from the trunk of the car just as Shep and Tony reached him, but before Shep or Tony could scold him, they suddenly heard frantic yelling coming from the park, yelling that had been carried by the wind. It was then that both paramedics realized Alex was completely frozen and so they grabbed hold of him and Doug’s duffel and hustled both into the back of the ambulance. Alex, however, fought to get out, “My friend Lucas is still out in the park and Doctor Ross is trying to help him!”

Tony and Shep exchanged a worried glance before Shep reached for their med bag, “It’s warm in here,” Alex commented in a less shaky voice. “We’ve been walking around for a long time, right? Lucas and I”

“Get the kid in a blanket and check him out, Gates!” Shep ordered Tony, wondering if the Dr. Ross was the one who used to work at County years and years ago as he shouldered the med bag and grabbed the backboard. “And call Dispatch! I think County’s the closest!”

Before Tony could reply, Shep took off into the park at a run, terrified about what he might find.

A massive chill shot through Doug’s body as he forced himself to the surface of the water and found that he still had a grip on Lucas. Even though it hurt to move, Doug made himself do it and quickly pulled Lucas’s soaked body into his arms before he shakily stumbled frigid water and through the chunks of obliterated ice to the snowy shore. He could hear screaming, crying, and even a little bit of swearing in the distance, but he did his best to ignore it as he forced himself to shore.

Ignoring the shaking in his body, Doug gently laid Lucas atop his coat, quickly found that Lucas wasn’t breathing and his airway was swollen, “Hey!” Doug called out shakily. “Does someone have a pen?! Rachel! Do you have a pen?!”

As her classmate continued to film what Doug was doing, Rachel ran over to him with a pen from her backpack, “I’ve been trying my dad and his phone’s off!” she shouted in an anxious voice.

“Try County ER’s main desk!” Doug ordered shakily, ignoring a wave of heavy pain and fatigue that suddenly washed over him as he took the pen and prepared to do a trach on Lucas.

Terror filled Luka’s heart as he finally made his way downstairs after leaving the now sedated Nathan under Dr. Romano’s watch. Peds had finally caught on to what was happening with Nathan and had insisted on sedating him so the boy wouldn’t get sicker, much to Nathan’s displeasure. Dr. Romano had offered to stay behind, babysit, and calm the teen down when he woke up pissed off about needing sedation, as that would most likely happen. Peter had shown up anyway and had taken Reese home, so Dr. Romano was in need of something to do with the school in lockdown, so he was quite happy to keep Nathan company for the time being.

Nathan being sedated, although it had been unwanted, allowed Luka to be able to travel downstairs and see if there were any updates on Lucas. He already knew that Erinne, Katie, and Joe were all stuck at school due to the school going into lockdown upon finding that Lucas and Alex were missing, so he didn’t have to worry about them. His mind could focus on whether or not Lucas had been found.

As Luka approached the desk, he was surprised to suddenly see the ER busy and frowned as the phone suddenly rang, “ER,” he heard Frank say in a concerned voice. “Wait…Doctor Greene?”

Luka paused, frowning at Frank as Mark suddenly came to the phone and answered it, frowning when he heard Rachel’s voice on the other end, “Rachel?!” he spoke in an anxious, slightly confused voice. “What?! What do you mean you’re at Danvers Park with Doctor Ross and Lucas?!”

An alarm suddenly sounded over the radio and Sam, who was confused and concerned about why Alex hadn’t been mentioned, hurried over to the radio, “Dispatch to County,” a voice spoke.

“This is County,” Sam spoke in an anxious voice. “Is something happening, Dispatch?”

A scoff filled the phone, “This is Paramedic Tony Gates from Unit 61 just outside of Danvers Park!” Tony’s anxious voice filled the radio. “I’m here in my rig with an Alex Taggart and he says that a Doctor Ross went into the park to help Lucas Kovac off of the pond, but there’s a lot of noise and lights there. My partner, Ray Shepard, went to check things out, but…”

Another radio signal suddenly filled the air as Sam’s and Luka’s eyes went wide, “…Get the hell out of my face with that camera!” Ray’s angry voice suddenly filled the air. “I don’t give a crap if you’re from Channel 5 News! Doctor Ross, I’m Ray Shepard…I’m a paramedic!”

Alarmed about what was going on, Sam quickly found the remote and turned on the TV that was near the remodeled desk. To the entire staff’s shock, Doug was soaked to the bone, shivering, knee deep in the snow, and traching an unconscious Lucas Kovac, who was laying on a dry winter coat, using a pen, “Gimme some stuff!” Doug shouted, ignoring the fact that there was a camera on him.

Mark’s mind immediately flashed back to when Doug had rescued the little boy from the storm drain many years earlier and he found himself suddenly grateful, albeit confused, over the fact that the man had suddenly decided to show up earlier than planned. Kerry, meanwhile, was making Ray, who was mystified by the TV, sit at the desk because he seemed shaky and she was likewise shocked at Doug’s sudden return and his heroics. As noise filled the desk, Luka began looking around for Amy, as he knew she had taken a walk and hadn’t been back. He suddenly looked at Mark.

“Mark, do you know where Amy went?” Luka asked in a confused voice. “She took a walk earlier…”

Mark pointed to Exam One, “After we had a chat about Ray, I gave her a mask and sent her to visit Malucci for a while to raise his spirits and hers,” he explained in a distressed voice, tossing Luka a mask from a bin behind the desk. “She might still be there.”

“I need to tell her what’s happening with Lucas,” Luka stated anxiously, fitting himself with the mask as he quickly moved off towards Exam One.

“…Dave’s doing as well as can be expected, Deb, but we’re still in isolation,” Carter spoke in a quiet voice as he stood near the door with his phone to his ear as he gave Jing-Mei an update to his and Dave’s day. “I haven’t shown symptoms and neither has Dale Edson, Dave’s official doctor. Doctor Greene actually let Amy put a mask on and come for a bit cause…”

Jing-Mei responded that she was actually watching a news report about the missing Lucas and Alex right at that moment while having a snack in the kitchen, as Abby, Eleanor, and Jack were entertaining Daniel and Maggie elsewhere, and to not mention it out loud in case Dave overheard, as both children meant a lot to him and such news might harm his recovery.

Without warning, though, she gasped and quickly explained that a new report had come on, one that showed a Dr. Ross doing a trach on Lucas in Danvers Park in the middle of a snowstorm. Carter’s eyes widened in shock, as he remembered Dr. Ross, had known that he had moved to Seattle, and was mystified as to why the man would be in the middle of the park in a snowstorm…

The door suddenly opened and a masked Luka poked his head in, “I’ll call you back later, Deb,” Carter spoke in a concerned voice, quickly ending the call. “Luka?”

Luka’s eyes, however, were on the sleeping Amy, “Amy visited with Dave for a while and then she got tired once Dave fell asleep again,” Carter explained, quickly looking at her. “Was chemo rough?”

“We haven’t talked about it or a lot of things yet because Lucas ran away from school with a friend earlier and apparently found out his therapist got killed in Iraq,” Luka explained in a slightly pissed off voice. “The school’s in lockdown and Nathan got sedated after getting really upset over Lucas running away. He thinks Lucas blames him for Elton’s death and ran away over that.”

Carter’s eyes widened, “So that stuff about Doctor Ross and the park that Deb just mentioned on the phone…” he spoke nervously.

“It’s all over the news,” Luka replied in the same pissed off voice as he moved over to the sleeping Amy and gently rubbed her shoulder. “Amy, I need to talk to you. It’s about Lucas.”

Amy slowly stirred and Luka quickly whispered in her ear. Amy’s eyes widened as she frowned at her husband, “Doug is where?!” she spoke in a confused voice. “He wasn’t supposed to come until next week for the DNA test…”

“DNA test?” Carter spoke in a confused voice, suddenly confused about what was happening.

Exhaling anxiously, “I was drugged by Elton at a party when I was younger and then Elton told Nathan that Doug might be his father cause Doug was at that same party,” Amy explained grimly, sighing as Carter stared at her wide-eyed. “When Elton and Nathan were alone, that is what Elton told him, and Nathan told us. And then I learned from Anspaugh that Doug was also drugged…”

Luka gently hugged Amy, who looked distressed about sharing the story, “I…I need to go see what’s going on, I suppose,” she spoke tiredly. “Thanks for letting me visit Dave, John.”

Carter nodded and was silent as Luka led Amy out even though his mind was reeling with what he had just been told. Wanting to make sure that Dave hadn’t overheard any of that, as Dave definitely did not need the additional stress, Carter moved over to the gurney and was relieved to see that Dave was still sound asleep. As Carter looked over Dave’s vitals, Edson suddenly stirred and sat up having been slowly pulled out of sleep by the sound of voices in the room.

“Dale, how was your sleep?” Carter asked kindly, seeing that Edson looked a little better than he had earlier. “I ordered you dinner from Dietary, by the way. It should be here in about an hour.”

Nodding, Edson rubbed his eyes and stretched, “I slept,” he replied in a groggy voice, a yawn filling his voice. “It was probably the best sleep I had in months, John. Um…it’s going to stay between us, right? That I had a nap? I don’t think people upstairs would like it if they knew I was napping on duty. I’d rather just make them feel like I was at least semi-competent during my little exile down here.”

“Don’t punish yourself,” Carter spoke gently, more than a little disturbed that Edson felt scared of his superiors to the point where he had to hide his need for rest from them. “But, if you really want me to keep it a secret, I will.”

Edson looked relieved and offered a small smile, “Thanks, John,” he replied quietly. “Um...how’s Malucci doing?”

“He woke again for a bit, but wasn’t anxious about it cause I talked him through the day a bit,” Carter replied, deciding to purposely omit Luka and Amy’s presence from the room because he knew Dale couldn’t handle the idea of being seen sleeping on duty. “The ER’s back up and running and there’s actually a bit of a situation going on, so we’re going to be on our own for a while…”

Even though he felt like Carter was hiding something from him, as he had definitely heard more voices than just Carter’s in the room when he was waking up, Edson nodded and listened to Carter thoughtfully because he understood that Carter was simply trying to keep him from feeling anything less than good about the work he was being made to do in the ER until January. Although he hated being exiled to the ER with the threat of unemployment hanging over his head if he got out of line, Edson found himself grateful for the supportive lifeline that Carter was apparently offering him.

Doug could barely walk or see straight because the cold, his leg pain, and his time in the water was definitely beginning to get to him, but he continued doing CPR relentlessly as he followed Shep and Lucas’s gurney out of Danvers Park. Lucas had been trached, put on a board, and Shep was now helping where he could to stabilize Lucas, but Doug was still very much involved.

As they reached the ambulance, Doug noticed that the news crew, Rachel, and the other teens from the park were all still following them, but his attention was solely on Lucas, “Oh, my God!” Alex exclaimed in a shocked voice, his eyes wide as he saw the mess on the gurney. “Is that Lucas?!”

“Rachel, come in here and keep Alex calm!” Doug shouted, realizing that he didn’t have the energy or the patience to focus on both Lucas and Alex and the paramedics didn’t either. “The paramedics need to do their thing, I need to work, and Alex needs a buddy to make sure he behaves himself!”

Swallowing hard, Rachel climbed into the ambulance and sat beside Alex while Tony hurried up front to drive and a reporter from Channel 5 immediately tried to join them, but Shep shoved the reporter back out into the street, “Get the hell out!” he barked. “We’re headed to County and we’re too busy to provide you with a story! Go meet us there if you want a story so bad!”

Before the reporter could argue, Shep pulled the doors closed. As the ambulance took off, Shep looked at Doug worriedly, as the man was shivering and bleeding profusely, but seemed to be ignoring all of his own injuries in order to take care of the seriously sick and injured Lucas.

Before Doug knew it, the ambulance had arrived at County and Shep and Tony had rushed Lucas inside while Rachel had rushed Alex inside. Nobody had come out because of the blizzard, nor had anyone encouraged him to follow, which suited Doug fine, as he didn’t even want to be at County.

All he had wanted to do, Doug thought bitterly to himself as he painstakingly crawled out of the ambulance and promptly found himself needing to lean on it for support, was come to Chicago, see Anspaugh for the DNA test, and then deal with the Nathan Kovac situation privately without bringing unwanted attention to himself and the situation that Elton Douglas had put him in 18 years ago.

Instead, he was standing outside County General Hospital soaked to the bone, shivering, bleeding, and in intense pain after crawling across a frozen pond to rescue a troubled kid, falling through the same pond with the kid, and doing a trach and other lifesaving procedures in a freezing blizzard.

“Doug!”

Mark’s concerned voice suddenly echoed across the ambulance bay and despite the amount of pain he was in, Doug began to move away into the night as fast as he could, which wasn’t very fast at all because of his current condition, because he absolutely did not want to deal with Mark after Mark had phoned him in Seattle and had outright accused him of being a rapist. Mark, however, was not alone outside because Tony had also noticed Doug was missing, had fetched Haleh and was headed back outside with a gurney, backboard, and other medical supplies. Carter, who had also heard the commotion, had masked up and had dragged Edson outside to see if they could help because Amy had suddenly come back upset after being told she couldn’t be of help to Lucas and was shocked to see an anxious Mark pursuing a visibly injured Doug Ross in the ambulance bay.

Mark, meanwhile, had caught up to Doug quickly, got between him and the way out, and tried to move in to check him over, but Doug quickly pushed him back, but it was a weak push due to his lack of strength.

“Screw you, Mark!” Doug shouted through chattering teeth, glaring daggers at his ex-friend. “As if I would ever rape anyone! How dare you even accuse me of that! I was drugged, you stupid bastard! I was drugged and I still can’t remember what happened 18 years after the fact! Get away from me before I beat the hell out of you! I don’t want anything to do with you while I have to be here!”

“Doug, you’re hypothermic and bleeding and injured!” Mark argued in a concerned, pissed off voice, shocked to the core that Doug was still able to be very angry with him despite his condition. “Just come inside…!”

As Mark reached for Doug, Doug pulled away in a hurry because he could feel his anxiety rising to the point of a panic attack, swung a fist in Mark’s direction as a warning to the man to get him to back off, and then promptly slipped backwards, lost the weak grip he had on the side of the ambulance, and quickly fell back towards the mess that covered the bay, hitting it hard.

Intense pain and panic immediately shot through Doug’s body, and he quickly found himself unable to move because he was in too much pain from the fall, too cold, and exhausted from his time in the frozen pond. He closed his eyes and simply began to breathe slowly, as Dr. Dremmer had taught him to do during the private chats they had had in Dr. Dremmer’s office when the mess about Elton and Nathan had first come to light in Seattle. The waiting lists had been too long for Doug to get help from Counseling Services before Thanksgiving. Unfortunately, seeing as Doug was not suicidal, he was not a priority situation according to Psych, so Dr. Dremmer had simply taken to talking to Doug himself in his office over cups of herbal tea and he had taught Doug breathing exercises to help with his panic attacks.

Doug suddenly felt himself being strapped to a board and subsequently lifted from the ground, but he was too weak to fight it, “…Amy’s pissed off about not being able to help Lucas, so she said she’d stay with Dave for a bit,” he suddenly heard Carter say in an anxious voice. “Can we help at all?”

All of the talking, the movement, the intense cold, his anxiety, the reminders of his painful past, and the pain rocketing through his body was suddenly becoming too much for Doug and he found himself simply wishing for some time in peaceful darkness where none of that could bother him.

Suddenly, Doug began to feel tired and found darkness beckoning to him…sweet, sweet darkness. A darkness that was quiet, a darkness that would let him be alone, a darkness that would just let him rest, and a darkness where nobody would judge him or accuse him of being things that he wasn’t. Darkness was dark and isolating, Doug thought to himself, but it currently seemed so much more appealing then the world around him was…a world that he currently had no energy to deal with.

And so it was that Doug Ross allowed himself to surrender to the darkness that beckoned to him…

Chapter Text

Seattle, Washington

Carol felt unsettled as she lingered in the upstairs hallway of her home, watching Tess and Kate pack their suitcases in the bedroom that they shared. The three of them had eaten dinner in silence after she had gotten them from school and there had been no word from Doug despite him promising that he would call when he landed in Chicago. Why hadn’t Doug called?

Sighing heavily, Carol silently moved away from the door and made her way downstairs to make herself and her girls some hot chocolate before bed. Maybe that would help with the unsettled feelings she was experiencing. Doug had rarely travelled since moving to Seattle and since they had moved to be with him, he hadn’t gone anywhere without them. They had even had a family staycation within the city for their wedding night, as Doug hadn’t wanted to go anywhere.

As Carol passed the front door, frantic knocking suddenly filled the air. She quickly turned, opened it, and frowned when she saw Dr. Dremmer standing on her doorstep with a heavy jacket over his work scrubs and an unusually anxious expression on his face, “Will,” she spoke in a concerned, slightly confused voice. “What are you…?”

“Are the girls asleep?” Dr. Dremmer asked in an anxious voice, his slight German accent suddenly emerging as he spoke. “I need you to see the news.”

Carol’s eyes widened and gestured for him to come inside, which he did. As she closed the front door, she heard him move into the living room without taking his shoes off and a moment later, she heard the TV being switched on, “…Around five o clock this evening, a Doctor Doug Ross rescued a Lucas Kovac from an icy pond in Danvers Park in Chicago…” a voice suddenly spoke.

Alarmed, Carol rushed into the living room just in time to see video footage of Doug slowly crawling backwards on an icy pond while a shaky-looking kid, who was holding on to Doug’s hands, slowly crawled forwards while bathed in white security lights.

All of a sudden, the ice gave way, and both Doug and the boy plunged into the frigid water. Carol swore, jumped, and covered her mouth to keep from screaming aloud because she didn’t want the girls to overhear, “…The evening took a frightening turn when both Doctor Ross and Lucas Kovac plunged into the icy water, but Doctor Ross’s resilience prevailed…” a voice spoke.”

More footage was shown of a soaked Doug suddenly bursting out of the water, pulling an unconscious Lucas into his arms, and dragging himself and Lucas through water and chunks of jagged ice to the snowy shore. As he climbed on to the shore, Carol was alarmed to notice that Doug was limping and bleeding and shivering, but his attention was entirely on Lucas and she continued watching as Doug, with the assistance of tools provided by some high school age girl she didn’t recognize, performed a trach on Lucas Kovac after laying the boy in a dry coat. All of a sudden, much to Carol’s shock, an older Shep arrived and began providing assistance.

Carol froze at the name Kovac and she wondered if Luka had found someone with children and had adopted the children, as the boy looked too old to be his biological child. Even though she was worried for Doug, she was also happy that Luka had found someone, as she had told him he would back when she had ended their relationship in favor of joining Doug in Seattle.

“…Doctor Ross is currently at Cook County General Hospital receiving medical treatment…” a voice suddenly spoke. “An altercation between himself and a Doctor Mark Greene in the ambulance bay, which was caught by our cameraman, exacerbated Doctor Ross’s injuries…”

Carol’s eyes widened and even Dr. Dremmer looked shocked as a scene of Mark suddenly blocking the battered, soaked Doug and trying to move in on him appeared on the screen. Doug pushed Mark back, but it was obviously a weak push.

“Screw you, Mark!” Doug shouted through chattering teeth, glaring daggers at his ex-friend. “As if I would ever rape anyone! How dare you even accuse me of that! I was drugged, you stupid bastard! I was drugged and I still can’t remember what happened 18 years after the fact! Get away from me before I beat the hell out of you! I don’t want anything to do with you while I have to be here!”

“Doug, you’re hypothermic and bleeding and injured!” Mark argued in a concerned, pissed off voice. “Just come inside…!”

As Mark reached for Doug, Doug pulled away, swung a fist in Mark’s direction, and promptly slipped, lost the weak grip he had on the side of the ambulance, and quickly fell back towards the mess that covered the bay, hitting it hard.

Carol swore out loud this time as she watched Doug close his eyes and simply began to breathe slowly. Dr. Dremmer, meanwhile, looked and felt pissed off, but he was not mad at Doug. He was madder than hell at Mark Greene for making Doug feel unsafe, getting in Doug’s face when he was in panic mode, and making an already bad situation worse to the point where it was now public information.

Unable to watch any more, Carol turned away, “Will, I know you’ve got a whole hospital full of staff to look after, but I need your help with this,” she spoke in a pained voice. “You’ve been so good to Doug ever since this thing started and I really don’t think he’ll be okay without your help. This whole thing has been incredibly hard on him, and he’s admitted as much to me when we’ve been alone…”

Dr. Dremmer suddenly looked amused, “It just so happens that the board has also been hassling me about using up some of my unused vacation time before the end of the year since I am worse than Doug at taking a break and I’m always busy with medical stuff even when I’m not at the hospital,” he replied in a concerned voice. “I happen to agree with you about Doug. I also want to have a few words with this Mark Greene…”

“We’re supposed to fly out in the morning, the girls and I, if you wanted to join us on our flight,” Carol spoke in a quiet voice, sighing. “Thanks for letting me know about what happened. I’ve been worried about why Doug didn’t call. Did you need to use our phone to book a ticket? You said you were taking time off…”

Dr. Dremmer scoffed, “Come on, Carol, you know me better than that,” he replied gently, shaking his head. “The moment I saw the news, I booked myself a ticket on the midnight flight to Chicago and I also booked a hotel out there. I just stopped here on my way to Sea-Tac to let you know about things. It’s not like I have a wife and kids to worry about anymore, so I might as well go to Chicago as fast as I can and check on my friend. He’s probably not in the best headspace right now for a visit from you and the girls, but maybe I can get him there by the morning. I hope.”

Carol looked surprised, but grateful and Dr. Dremmer sighed, “By the way, the weather reports say it’s blizzarding in Chicago, so you and the girls had better bundle up when you come out there,” he advised softly. “I gotta get going so I get to the airport in plenty of time to check in and use pre-boarding. Try and get some rest tonight.”

Nodding, Carol turned just in time to see Dr. Dremmer turn and head for the door, “By the way, I got Doug paid leave until New Year’s cause he probably got hurt falling in the park,” he called out as he left the house. “I’ll let him know.”

As the door opened and closed, Carol quickly turned the TV off and then moved to lock the door, deeply grateful that Dr. Dremmer was such a good friend to Doug, as Doug didn’t let himself have a lot of friends despite being a good father, a hardworking and respected physician, and a wonderful husband. Dr. Dremmer, however, was one of the few outside the family that Doug had trusted to get close to him.

Exhaling softly, Carol took a seat on couch to breathe and suddenly found herself angry at Mark, as Mark had never been the type to be so aggressive towards anyone he called friend, even ex-friends, but she had seen just that.

Chicago, Illinois

“…Why the hell aren’t you with Malucci, Edson?! Your orders were clear! He’s your patient!”

“…Come on, Mark, there’s no need to yell at Dale. I’m the one who dragged Dale in here! Besides, Dave’s not by himself. Amy’s sitting with him since she’s not allowed to work on Lucas!”

“…And you, Carter, you were told to stay in isolation with Malucci! I don’t know what the hell you’re doing in here anyway! You don’t work here!”

Pissed off voices greeted Doug as he slowly came to, blinked because his vision was slightly blurry, and frowned when he saw a masked and gowned Mark standing near the double doors arguing with a masked Carter and a masked Edson, both of whom looked pissed off.

Unable to take Mark’s presence or another potential fight with Mark, Doug made to get up to leave and go sequester himself somewhere quiet, but pain suddenly shot through his body and a warning alarm shot promptly through the air. He tried to speak and continued in his struggle get up, but he found he couldn’t move his left leg and his speech was muffled. As Doug reached up and pushed the mask off his face, he saw Mark approach the bed and he also felt other hands gently hold him down.

“I thought I told you to get away from me, Mark,” Doug hissed, glaring daggers at Mark as he winced. “Did you not hear me?!”

Mark paused and he sighed, “Doctor Greene, maybe you’d better go,” Dr. Edson suddenly spoke up in a concerned voice. “He’s not comfortable around you. John and I can handle this…”

Scoffing, Mark looked away from Doug to glare at Edson, “I thought I told you and Carter to go back to Malucci, Edson!” he ordered sternly. “Or do I need to go have a chat with Anspaugh about you?!”

Instead of backing down at the threat, however, Edson scowled, “Go talk to Anspaugh!” he argued, suddenly growing angry. “I don’t give a crap! Doctor Ross obviously has issues with you and has asked that you leave him alone, so you need to get the hell out of here and leave him alone! Or do I need to call Security and have you removed from the room?!”

Carter looked shocked at Edson’s outburst towards Mark, as he personally knew that Mark was simply trying to deliver some well intended help to Doug and Doug was probably acting out due to being in pain, but Edson was glaring daggers at Mark and suddenly looking protective of Doug.

Mark, however, scoffed, glared at Edson, and then stormed out in silence. Haleh, who was holding Doug down, suddenly looked surprised, but Edson sighed and immediately looked ashamed of himself, “Oh, I shouldn’t have done that,” Edson hissed darkly. “I’ll probably be fired by morning.”

Carter, however, sighed patiently and shook his head, “You were advocating for Doctor Ross, and I’ll tell Anspaugh that if Mark reports you,” he replied reassuringly. “Speaking of which…”

“Yeah,” Edson replied, nodding at Carter before he looked at Doug. “John, help me out, will you? Hey, Doctor Ross, I’m Doctor Edson. Do you remember me at all? How are you feeling?”

Doug sighed, “I’m in a lot of pain and I can’t move my left leg,” he replied in a groggy voice. “Carter…did Mark just say you don’t work here anymore?”

“It’s complicated,” Carter replied gently, not wanting to get into his personal life just then. “Would it be okay if I patched up your forehead?”

Doug shrugged and looked back at Edson, “Is that kid…Lucas…okay?” he asked softly. “And his friend…Alex?”

“Lucas is next door, but you really shouldn’t move your neck til we clear it,” Edson spoke gently. “You performed a freaking trach on a kid in a snowbank after crawling across jagged ice and falling into frozen pond water. My God, that takes guts….”

Doug scoffed and suddenly winced as pain shot up his body, “My leg hurts like hell, as does everything else,” he spoke in a pained voice. “I fell on the ice when I was trying to get to Lucas. How much of my leg is broken?”

“We’re still waiting on the x-rays,” Edson replied calmly. “Your leg’s in a splint, though, and we did full body x-rays of everything else cause you fell in the ambulance bay after falling in the lake…”

Doug sighed, suddenly realizing he was swaddled in heated blankets, “What…what’s my body temp?” he asked groggily.

“That is really not something you should be worrying about,” Haleh spoke in a gentle, but firm voice as she put an oxygen tube in his noise and gave him a gentle look. “Just lie still and relax, all right?”

Doug sighed, “I flew in early to talk to my mom about the Elton Douglas thing before I had to take the DNA test at Thanksgiving, my rental car ran out of gas, and I ended up doing…well…what I did,” he spoke in a groggy voice, frowning. “I think my car and my bag are still at Danvers Park…”

“Your bag’s here,” Carter spoke reassuringly, trying to keep his tone calm even though he was repulsed by the mention of Elton Douglas and the DNA test that Amy had mentioned earlier because it was obvious that it hurt Doug to talk about it. “Paramedic Gates brought it in.”

Doug exhaled weakly, “If I wasn’t so tired and sore, I’d call my mom and then I’d call Carol,” he spoke weakly. “My mom’s holding dinner for me. We were gonna talk about the Rohypnol.”

Just then, Lydia came in with a folder, “Got the x-rays,” she announced. “Where’s Doctor Greene?”

“Doctor Greene left,” Edson replied in a slightly quiet tone. “Um…Carter…”

Carter sighed, seeing the nervous expression on Dale’s face, “We can handle it, Dale,” he spoke reassuringly. “You’re not going to get into trouble for advocating for your patient.”

Edson, however, didn’t look convinced, so Carter took the x-rays and set them up on the light boards, “Your neck’s clear, Doctor Ross,” Carter spoke gently. “I think we can get that C-collar off now. Just try and lie still…”

Doug, however, forced himself into a sitting position once the collar was off even though it hurt like hell to do so. He turned his neck and watched the gaggle of medical staff in yellow gowns, gloves, and goggles work on Lucas, “Is he alive?” he asked in a concerned voice. “God help me, if Lucas dies…”

“You did the hard work,” Edson commented quietly. “That…that was brave. Very brave.”

Pain suddenly shot through Doug’s chest at that moment, unfortunately, and he found himself wincing while placing a hand on his chest, “Doug?” Haleh asked worriedly, seeing the pain in Doug’s face. “What hurts? Your chest?”

Carter and Edson quickly turned to face Doug as he nodded, before promptly slumping back into a semi-conscious haze, and the alarm went haywire, “02 sats are dropping fast!”

A door suddenly burst open, and Kerry moved into the room, having heard the yelling, “Doctor Weaver, we could be looking at a tension-pneumo,” Carter spoke anxiously, his voice muffled by the mask. “Doctor Ross didn’t want Doctor Greene in here and we haven’t been cleared yet…”

Nodding, Kerry looked at Haleh, “Chest tube trays,” she ordered briskly. “Carter, did you x-ray his chest?”

“We x-rayed everything,” Carter explained anxiously as he sorted through the folder of x-rays and found lung ones. “Here we go. Oh…yeah…his lungs definitely took hits. Dale, what do you think?”

Edson peered at the x-ray and nodded, “Two tension pneumos,” he replied firmly. “Um, should we go back to Malucci til our evening labs come back?”

“Have you shown any symptoms, Doctor Edson?” Kerry asked in a concerned voice. “If not, I need your help since you work here. Carter, go back and sit with Malucci since you don’t.”

Understanding himself to be dismissed, Carter silently left the trauma room and made his way back towards Dave’s room.

“…Dave, honey, why…why are you crying so much?” Carter heard Amy ask in a concerned voice as he entered Dave’s room and saw a masked Amy sitting beside the bed, holding Dave’s hand, and looking unusually concerned as she looked at him. “Oh…Do you need the board?”

Carter paused as Amy passed Dave the board and Dave began to shakily write for several moments before he passed the board to her. Amy silently read it for several moments with a concerned expression before she set the board aside and turned her attention back to Dave.

“I’m not mad at you, honey,” she promised softly, shaking her head as she gently swept his bangs off his forehead with a clean rag. “I promise. I’m just glad you’re talking about it now. It must…It must be scary for you to deal with that…”

Dave nodded and Carter paused, “I can’t promise that our dad isn’t gonna have an opinion about it, but I won’t judge you over that,” Amy spoke gently. “You’re looking a little tired. Did you need some more sleep?”

Again, Dave nodded and drifted off as Carter moved around the bed. Carter froze when he saw that Dave had written messy notes about his biological father being alive, in Chicago, and at a rest home. He mentioned that his father isn’t always the nicest to him. God…”

Carter stilled and quickly took a photo of the board with his cell-phone, “Do you want me to tell Doctor Romano or are you going to?” he asked, pocketing his phone again before Amy could speak.

“He’s up in Peds with Nathan right now,” Amy replied quietly, her expression grim as she looked at him. “Nathan got so agitated by Lucas running away that Peds sedated him. Luka’s with Lucas in the trauma room right now and asked me to sit here with Dave to keep us both calm, but I’m anything but. Thank God Rachel and Ella are at our house with the girls and Joe right now…”

Carter sighed, “Did you want to take a nap?” he asked softly. “There’s a cot in here. Dale and I have been taking turns sharing it, but…”

“Oh, God, no,” Amy replied in an annoyed voice. “All I’ve been doing since my chemo session is resting. I was here visiting Nathan today since Michael and Abigail are kind of locked off from visitors. I wouldn’t mind something to eat, though. Um…where were you, anyway?”

Carter exhaled, “I…I was in the ambulance bay with Doctor Greene and…Doctor Ross,” he replied in a quiet voice, slightly nervous about mentioning Doug to Amy. “They were having a fight and Doctor Ross fell…he’s hurt.”

Amy’s eyes went wide, “Doug Ross…he’s here?!” she spoke in a shocked voice. “What…why so soon?! He was supposed to come at Thanksgiving!”

“I don’t know, but he was the one who rescued Lucas and Alex Taggart from Danvers Park Pond,” Carter explained in a concerned voice, frowning as Amy stood and moved towards the door. “Amy!”

Amy scoffed, “I just want to see what he looks like,” she replied softly. “He won’t see me. Stay here.”

Carter very much wanted to protest, but all he could do was nod silently as Amy left the room.

“…If you don’t get your hands off me, those glasses are gonna be in pieces. I promise you.”

Peter froze at the sound of Amy’s angry voice suddenly filling the air, a voice he hadn’t heard in days after they had last seen each other in the Peds social room, “…Why are you even out here?” Mark’s concerned, slightly upset voice filled the air. “Luka’s helping take care of Lucas…”

“So I can see the man who saved Lucas,” Amy’s terse voice spoke. “Is that a crime?”

As Peter collected himself and rapidly moved towards the trauma room where he had been paged, he could see a pissed off Amy facing off with a pissed off Mark just outside the door, “…You don’t officially work here until I file the paperwork for you to supervise Ray’s shifts,” Mark spoke sternly. “You can’t just wander the halls and go wherever you feel like going! If you think you can do that, maybe we need to revisit the idea of you helping Ray! He and Morris went home, but you’re not hired here yet!”

“Oh, so now you’re threatening Ray’s schooling just because I want to see the guy who saved Lucas and the guy who might be Nathan’s biological father!” Amy argued in an angrier voice. “You know Doug Ross…I know you do. What did he do to you in the past that made you hurt so bad and hate him so much? There’s no way in hell he didn’t hurt you. That’s why you’re acting so badly about him now…so what did he do?! And don’t try to lie…I can tell you know him, and you don’t like him. That’s why you’re acting so unprofessional and trying to grab me and threatening Ray!”

Peter frowned at Mark and Amy, “Doug…Doug Ross?” Peter asked nervously, certain he hadn’t heard right. “Doug…he…he might be Nathan’s father?”

“My God, Peter, I don’t wanna keep telling the story over and over because it’s still very traumatic for the both of us, probably moreso for Doug,” Amy replied irritably, glaring at Peter. “Are you here on a surgical consult?”

Peter sighed and nodded, “Edson’s not allowed to do surgical procedures while he’s down here, so he and Weaver paged me to do a couple of chest tubes for a patient,” he explained as he quickly moved into the trauma room.

Amy, however, didn’t leave and watched silently as Kerry, Peter, Haleh, and Edson talked while Kerry and Peter did the chest tubes on Doug, “Dave wouldn’t like this,” Amy muttered, frowning as she watched Edson pretty much do nothing but watch even though he was a skilled surgeon. “Did y’all even bother to ask Dave his thoughts before kicking Doctor Edson to the ER and taking his dignity away? Even though Doctor Edson made some mistakes, keeping him from using his skills in crisis situations seems…extreme. Dave would be pissed off if he knew that was happening.”

“Doctor Edson endangered Malucci,” Mark replied in a confused, dark voice. “He endangered his life…”

Amy sighed, “And Doctor Edson is remorseful for his actions,” she spoke softly. “I can see it in his eyes. Doctor Edson…he doesn’t communicate his emotions very openly anywhere but his eyes. Are you all really going to hold his mistakes against him forever and make him feel like he’s not worthy to be alive? I’m warning you…if you all choose to do that, it might end badly. Don’t let it.”

Mark grew somber, “What do you mean by that?” he asked in a concerned voice, wondering if Amy was implying Edson might harm himself or others if he was bullied too much.

“How’s you and the rest of the ER bullying Doctor Edson going to work out in terms of helping him become a better doctor and person? It’s not going to work out very well. Let me also say this, Doctor Greene. Do you know why Elton was such a violent person when he was alive?”

Mark shook his head and Amy sighed, “Elton was bullied a lot during his life before he met Doug, Dave, and I,” she explained in a quiet voice. “By the time Elton met any of us, he was very much a sociopath, but he was also good at hiding it. Elton was so beaten down by the world that he lost the ability to feel anything good for anyone or even himself. That…that is what can happen to people if they are continually bullied or left without any positive affirmations…”

Before Mark could reply, Peter came out looking surprisingly clean for someone who had been asked to do chest tubes, “Peter…” Mark spoke in a low warning tone. “Did you…?”

“I wrote down on the chart that I did them,” Peter replied firmly. “And then Edson did them while Kerry and I supervised. No need to tell Anspaugh that unless you really wanna be a prick to the guy, Mark. He’s been doing a decent job helping Carter take care of Malucci, so I decided to cut the guy some slack and let him use his skills. You have an issue with that?”

Mark shook his head, “By the way, Edson looks as if he could use something to eat,” Peter commented in a quieter voice as he leaned in close to Amy. “Maybe drag him over to the Jumbo Mart for a deli run or something. You like you could use something too, so…maybe…”

“I might get Nathan something for when he wakes up cause Peds had to sedate him and he’s going to be pissed off about it,” Amy replied in a tired voice. “I think I might need some help with shopping for him.”

Peter cringed at the mention of Nathan being sedated, but Amy silently moved into the trauma room just in time to see Edson silently step back from Doug’s gurney wearing a bloodstained yellow gown, goggles, and gloves and sporting a fatigued expression on his face. Kerry and Haleh, meanwhile, still had their attention on the now unconscious Doug.

Amy silently moved over to Edson and tapped his arm, “Doctor Edson, I think I need to go across the street for something to eat,” she spoke softly. “I was wondering if you could walk me? It’s a little slushy out…”

Edson gave Amy a look before nodding, “I’m starting to get the shakes, but I held it together long enough to do the chest tubes,” he whispered softly, his expression worried as he spoke. “I need something to eat within the next 15 minutes, though, or I’m going to be the next one on a gurney.”

“Okay,” Amy replied softly, nodding as she quickly helped Edson remove his gear and throw it away before gently tucking his hands in his pockets so his shaking wouldn’t be visible. “Let’s go. Quickly and quietly.”

Mark and Peter frowned as Amy suddenly came out of the trauma room gently guiding Edson by the arm while the man’s hands rested in his pockets. Edson didn’t look bothered that Amy was guiding him around by the arm. He actually looked…almost relieved…that she was there at his side.

Mark looked like he wanted to say something to them, as it looked odd that Amy seemed so insistent on guiding Edson around by the arm when Lucas was in critical condition in the other trauma room, but Peter gave him a look to leave it alone, as he suspected what Amy was up to and knew she was only trying to give the guy a little dignity.

Mark sighed, turned away, and let Edson and Amy leave without incident and instead decided to look in on Lucas, as Elizabeth and Luka were taking care of him.

Peter, however, silently trailed after Edson and Amy to make sure they made it over to the Jumbo Mart safely. He had returned to County a while after 9/11and had very quickly learned about the Edson’s medical condition when Edson had suffered an attack in the locker room near the end of a shift. Edson had confided in him that he had developed hypoglycemia due to work stress not always making eating proper meals easy and had made him swear to keep it quiet from Anspaugh and their fellow surgeons, as he had always had snacks on hand in his locker that got him through shifts when full meals weren’t accessible.

Peter, however, had sat there with him in the locker room and made him eat before letting him leave. Edson had also promised to go to Anspaugh about his illness later on for accommodations, but Peter suspected that the man never had until Malucci had almost died in the ICU.

Edson’s unprofessional behavior regarding Malucci, Peter knew, had probably stemmed from blood sugar issues and Anspaugh had probably exiled Edson to the ER to give the man time to sort himself out both mentally and physically.

As Peter headed out into the cold night towards the Jumbo Mart, he also knew that the guy had probably told both Amy and Malucci about his health, but they had obviously developed a relationship of trust with each other regarding it to the point where either one of them could just step in and gently guide the guy to help if he needed it and he would accept the help. Peter had figured that out just by watching Amy and Edson’s interaction and noticing that Edson hadn’t seemed bothered by Amy holding him, only grateful.

The slush slowed Peter considerably, but he eventually made it to the Jumbo Mart and got inside just in time to see Edson and Amy sit together at a table in the small café that was part of the market.

Peter silently watched as Amy fed Edson a few bites of macaroni salad from a deli container while Edson kept his hands in his pockets, “You should think about getting a bracelet like Nathan has,” Amy spoke softly. “And I’m a registered advocate for doctors with physical and mental challenges if you need help advocating for yourself…”

“Anspaugh knows about it,” Edson replied quietly, sighing heavily. “I totally dropped the ball with Malucci when he was in the ICU. I didn’t attend the counseling we were all told to get after the shooting in the ER. Hell, I even dropped the ball back on Halloween when I yelled at your dad and threw him out of the O.R. with that stupid comment. I shouldn’t have been mocking his arm…”

Amy sighed, “He forgave you for that, though, because we had a little talk with him after everything settled down,” she spoke gently. “Everything on Halloween was so hellish…”

“I didn’t even make it home that night after I was done operating on Malucci,” Edson spoke between bites of food. “I just went through the snack stash in my locker and three muffins in the cafeteria and passed out in the chapel for five hours. I have been so off my game since Halloween. All of that…Pratt getting killed, Malucci almost getting killed, John getting beat up, Sam Taggart and her kid and yours getting kidnapped...and you, having two premature babies. How…how the hell did you not lose your mind over all that? Like…I remember that you had asked me to come down that day to be backup to you and John while you two treated that bastard and I was just getting off the elevator when I heard the shooting. I was running late that day, so if I had been on time…”

“Then Elton would have knocked the crap out of you and John,” Amy replied firmly.

Peter silently moved out of view of the café with a hand over his mouth. Survivor’s guilt. For God’s sake. I always wondered how Edson managed to make it down there so fast…and he had been asked to be there. God, I should really focus on being nicer to the guy...even if Mark won't do it. 

“…Mom, is that Doug Ross guy gonna be okay?” Peter suddenly heard a quiet voice ask. “And is Lucas gonna be okay?”

Confused and concerned, Peter moved towards the voices and frowned when he saw Sam Taggart and a shaken, tired looking Alex walking down an aisle together with Alex holding tightly to a grocery cart, “Are you sure you’re all right?” Sam asked softly, peering at Alex worriedly. “We could have stayed at the hospital…”

“Nah, I…I wanted to talk to you away from everyone,” Alex spoke quietly, frowning at Sam. “Lucas…he was bleeding at recess. He wasn’t feeling good. He was sad…”

Sam paused and gave Alex a concerned look, but said nothing, “As I was coming over to him, I could see him cutting himself with a sharp rock,” Alex continued quietly. “I…I was too scared to tell Doctor Ross or Lucas’s mom and dad…”

Swearing under her breath, Sam silently pulled Alex close and held him in her arms, “Oh, for God’s sake, Alex, you’re shaking,” she muttered after a minute. “I knew you should have stayed in bed at the hospital…”

“Do you need help walking him back?” Peter spoke up before he could stop himself.

Sam turned to see Peter approach them, “Doctor Benton,” she spoke nervously. “I…”

“I was just here seeing about getting something to eat, but then I realized I wasn’t hungry,” Peter lied softly, wanting to keep his spying on Edson private. “I don’t mind.”

Sam was silent for a moment before she nodded and Alex scoffed, “Now Lucas is gonna be mad at me cause I told on him,” he muttered nervously, gazing at Peter with worried eyes.

“It’s better that you did tell so that Lucas can get the help he needs,” Peter replied gently as he took control of the cart and turned it around. “And actually…you don’t look so good yourself…”

Alex scoffed, “I have diabetes,” he hissed darkly. “My mom checked me over when the ambulance brought me in from the park and I was fine, so we came over here to get dinner. I’m feeling shaky now, but I can make it back…”

Peter nodded, but kept an eye on Alex anyway as they made their way to the front of the store. All of a sudden, Alex paused as he noticed Amy and Dr. Edson sitting together in the café and Amy helping Dr. Edson eat, “Isn’t that Lucas’s mom?” Alex asked softly. “Why’s she feeding that guy?”

Sam frowned and Edson, who had overheard that comment, sighed, “Doctor Kovac…she was helping me eat because I, um, have a little disease called hypoglycemia that makes me feel shaky if I miss meals,” he explained in a quiet voice. “I didn’t get supper tonight cause I was very busy at work and Doctor Kovac was kind enough to buy me supper and help me eat it so I feel better…”

“Is that kind of like diabetes?” Alex asked curiously. “If I don’t eat, I don’t feel good…”

Edson shrugged, “Sort of, but I don’t need insulin,” he replied quietly, suddenly exhaling as he removed his hands from his pockets. “I think I can handle it from here, Doctor Kovac. Thanks so much for helping me out. You should probably go see how your family’s doing. I’ll be okay.”

“Doctor Kovac, I need to talk to you,” Alex spoke up nervously. “By the till.”

Amy looked surprised, but nodded, got up, and followed Sam and Alex to the till while Peter sat himself at the table, “Right, what happened today that made you blow off dinner?” Peter asked in a quiet, but slightly stern voice as he eyed Edson with a fatherly look of concern. “I know you’ve been adjusting to your new schedule, but I also know you’ve been eating when you’ve been getting Carter’s meals cause I told Dietary to make sure to set food aside for you too…”

“I had a nap and then I woke up hungry, but I was kept from getting dinner cause John dragged me outside to watch a fight between Mark Greene and Doug Ross,” Edson replied tiredly. “And then I got busy helping with Doctor Ross. I knew…I knew it was getting bad by the time you showed up, but I just pushed through it for Doctor Ross’s sake. I just didn’t need anyone knowing. Doctor Kovac…she  thinks I should get a bracelet and tell people, though, but I remember chatting with Jeanie Boulet, though and Dave Malucci about them disclosing their challenges to colleagues. Malucci never did it until he went to Mercy and Jeanie…she struggled when she told people about her thing…”

Peter sighed, “Besides, I’ve been hearing Mark Greene mock my exile to the ER for three days now to his wife and to the nurses and I don’t want to tell him about this and give him more ammo to use against me,” Edson spat darkly, scowling as he finished off the macaroni. “I don’t wanna tell John either. John’s giving me grace and letting me do my job, but he’ll coddle me if he finds out. John's got this thing about mother-henning people who have challenges. He's always on that phone with that fiance of Malucci's and coddling her cause she's a high-risk pregnancy. And he's always coddling Malucci to death over his health too. God, could you imagine how he'd coddle me if I told him I have a health condition? I'd never get a chance to breathe.”

“You better have more than macaroni if you’re gonna stay overnight with Malucci,” Peter spoke firmly, perturbed that Mark was acting so unprofessional towards Edson when he had just barely gotten Edson into trouble with Anspaugh over being unprofessional towards Malucci. “And I’m not coddling you. I’m…”

Sighing irritably, Edson got up, quickly bought himself a sandwich and juice from the café counter, and returned to the counter before Peter could say any more, “I might try to send John home tonight if he’s still healthy,” Edson commented quietly, downing the sandwich and juice in short order. “He doesn’t even work at County anymore, but he stayed for Malucci cause they’re related. He’s gotta rest, though, and I know he hasn’t been. That can’t be good for his kidney or his mind. Besides, he's got a wife and a baby and I…don’t.”

A somber expression filled Edson’s face as Amy came back with Sam and Alex, “I think I’m ready to get back to work,” Edson announced in a quiet voice, quickly standing and gathering his garbage. “Thank you very much for helping me out, Doctor Kovac…”

Amy looked concerned, but Edson quickly left, dropping his trash in a bin as he left the Jumbo Mart. Peter looked more than a little concerned at that, but he also noticed that Amy suddenly looked stressed as well as concerned.

“Doctor Benton, can you please take Nurse Taggart and Alex back to the ER and help them?” Amy asked softly. “I need to make a call, so I’ll be a bit longer here…”

Peter, however, looked reluctant to leave Amy alone to walk back by herself, as she had been through nothing but hell since he had known her and she now wasn’t well, “Do you need to make your call from here specifically?” he asked nervously. “It’s late at night, it’s cold out, and I’m not sure you should be by yourself. Besides, it’s not safe for women to walk alone at night in Chicago…”

Amy raised an eyebrow, “No, I suppose I don’t,” she replied gently, immediately understanding why he was nervous. “I can come back to County with you, Nurse Taggart, and Alex…”

“Okay,” Peter agreed in a relieved voice. “Did you need to get anything before we go?”

Swallowing hard, Amy shook her head, “I need to talk to Luka right away,” she replied grimly, knowing she had to pass along what Alex had just told her so they could get help for Lucas. “He is who I was going to call…”

“Alright,” Peter replied softly, knowing that talking about Lucas’s mental health was absolutely not going to be an easy conversation for Luka and Amy to have. “We can go back any time you’re ready.”

“…We’ve done all we can for him right now. It’s just a matter of…”

Quiet, gentle voices filled Lucas’s ears as he slowly stirred and saw that Luka and Ella’s mom were talking near the door, “What about his wrist?” he heard Luka ask softly. “It was bleeding…”

Lucas froze at the mention of his wrist. No. God. I cannot go back into a Psych program. He thought anxiously as he tried to reach out. I…I have to get their attention and lie.

An alarm suddenly sounded, and Elizabeth and Luka turned towards him, “Oh, he’s awake and flicked the pulse-ox clip off,” Elizabeth spoke in a gentle voice as she moved over to his bedside and offered him a pad of paper and a pen. “Lucas, it’s all right. You had a trach, which is a medical procedure that involves creating an opening in your neck in order to place a tube in your windpipe to help you breathe, but you’re okay. You’re also on heated saline and in warming blankets for hypothermia and you have stitches in your left wrist. Don’t try to talk, okay? I have a paper and a pen for you if you want to talk…”

Lucas quickly took the pad and began writing, realizing he could simply put the concerns about his wrist to bed quickly and just focus on resting on his lie.

I fell at recess. It was icy. I caught myself with my hand and it hurt. I heard you and Luka talking about my wrist bleeding when I was waking up. That’s what happened…

Elizabeth paused at what Lucas wrote and even though it sounded like an odd explanation, as the damage looked self-inflicted to her, she nodded. Lucas wrote some more before handing the pad to her because he was growing tired. Can I go be with Nathan? He’s in Peds.

“How about I call up to Peds and see about that?” Elizabeth replied softly, seeing that Lucas was getting sleepy again. “You should get some sleep in the meantime. You look tired.”

Lucas obeyed because he couldn’t talk due to the trach and he was tired.

Once Lucas was asleep, Elizabeth showed the paper to Luka, “He has an explanation for his wrist,” she explained in a concerned voice, frowning at him.

Luka caught her frown, “What?” he asked in a confused voice. “It sounds…”

“It sounds like he could benefit from spending time with his brother upstairs in Peds,” Elizabeth interrupted softly, not wanting to bring up her concerns in front of Lucas in case he woke back up. “I’m going to call upstairs to see if Peds would talk to Nathan about taking on a roommate for a while. He’ll be here until next week, right?”

Luka sighed, “Peds had to sedate Nathan earlier because he got too anxious over Lucas’s disappearance and I don’t know if he’s awake again yet, so you might as well just arrange to send Lucas to Nathan’s hospital room,” he replied quietly. “I’ll give my permission.”

Elizabeth nodded, “I’ll arrange that transfer then,” she replied softly. “Did you also want me to find Amy and tell her?”

“She should be visiting with Dave,” Luka spoke quietly. “I suggested she go there and relax because she’s been on edge for days. If she’s not there, she might have gotten hungry and went across the street. If she’s hungry, that’s a good sign. She struggled to eat at home. The chemo was rough on her and she spent the last few days in bed. Rachel and Ella…they’ve been a very good help to us…”

Elizabeth gave Luka a concerned look, “And are you getting any sleep?” she asked softly.

“Oh, I try,” Luka replied softly. “Michael and Abigail…they’re not allowed visitors right now and it’s harder now with four of my children in the hospital. I just want everyone home. Erinn and Katie and Joe…they’re scared for their big brothers and for their littlest brother and sister. Between all this and Amy being sick and work…I’m being pulled in 100 directions.”

Elizabeth sighed and left the room as Luka silently took a seat beside Lucas’s bed to watch him sleep.

“…John, I think you should go home tonight and be with your wife and your kid. I can stay overnight.”

“…Dale, Dave might get upset if he wakes and I’m not here!”

Raised voices reached Mark as he approached the bed where Amy and Sam were settling Alex, “Alex is diabetic and needs medical attention,” Amy explained quietly as she looked at Mark. “Peter…he went with Doctor Edson to talk to Carter about going home to rest…”

Mark frowned, “Did Carter and Edson get cleared to leave isolation?” he asked quietly.

“I was just with Doctor Edson over at the Jumbo Mart and he wasn’t showing symptoms, and I also think John could use time at home with his family,” Amy spoke quietly, giving Mark a look. “He’s been here three days without a break. If you need someone to stay with Dave, half my family’s in the hospital and I’m sure the other half will show up eventually…I can stay”

Mark sighed as the raised voices continued, “What the hell are they arguing about in there?” he asked in an irritated voice. “They need to settle down or they’re going to wake Malucci up.”

“Do you think Dave can be extubated soon?” Amy asked quietly, frowning at Mark. “He probably hates not being able to talk…”

Exhaling softly, as he could hear Carter and Edson still arguing, Mark gave Amy a look, “I’ll go check,” he replied in a tight voice, annoyed that the two couldn’t seem to stay professional.

“…John, for God’s sake, you should go home, sleep in a real bed, and see your family. You’ve been here for three days…!”

“…Dale, I’m good to stay. You shouldn’t have to work all night without a break…”

Anxious, concerned voices caused Dave to stir from sleep just in time to hear the door bang open, “What the hell are you two arguing about in here?!” he heard Mark ask in a stern voice. “You’ll wake Malucci up!”

Dave blinked tiredly, deeply groggy and Mark frowned, “Oh, God, your arguing woke Malucci up,” Mark growled, glaring at Carter and Edson before he approached the bed, quickly checked the machines, and then looked at the groggy Dave. “Dave? I’m so sorry if Doctor Edson and Carter’s noise woke you, but I actually have some good news for you. I think…yeah…I think we can extubate you tonight. Would you like that? You’ll have to be on a mask…”

Dave offered a shaky thumbs up, “Okay,” Mark spoke gently. “I’ll take care of it.”

Mark quickly conducted a spontaneous breathing test and Dave’s breathing reflexes and felt satisfied with both, so he carefully elevated the bed, “Carter, hold Dave’s hand,” he instructed firmly. “Doctor Edson, suction and unsecure the tape…”

Silence filled the room as everyone became very busy following Mark’s instructions and then when it was time, Mark disconnected the vent, “Okay, Dave, take a deep breath and exhale,” he instructed in a gentle voice.

Dave obeyed, but Carter immediately felt his hand being grabbed and squeezed in the process.

As Mark pulled the tube free, Dave began coughing violently, “Suction!” Mark ordered.

Edson provided suction and then Mark quickly put a mask over Dave’s face, “Your throat’s going to be sore for a few days,” Mark spoke gently. “Try and rest. Someone will check your swallowing in about an hour…”

Dave slowly drifted off to sleep, physically drained by the extubation process and coughing, “John, you can and should go home,” Edson spoke up quietly. “Get some rest. See your family.”

Carter, however, looked reluctant to leave, “What about you?” he asked quietly.

“My God, John, I’ll see my parents in time,” Edson replied in a quiet, slightly false cheerful tone, offering Carter a fake smile that Mark and Carter both knew to be fake. “I’m fine. I’ll keep up the routine you started Dave on, and I’ll be sure to nap when I can…”

Mark suddenly felt bad for yelling at Edson earlier, as he could tell the guy was tired and a little sad at the thought of Carter of going home to see family, “Doctor Edson, if you want an hour or so to go see your family, I can stay,” he offered quietly. “You’ve both been working hard for days…”

Edson suddenly went very quiet, and Carter’s eyes went wide, as he knew that Dale’s parents were out at Garden Vista and that Harper was dead, but Mark obviously didn’t know that. Before he could speak, however, Edson nodded and silently left the room, “Mark, that was a bad call,” Carter spoke anxiously, his expression worried as he thought about what trouble his friend might end up in because he had been sent off with nowhere to go.

“Go home, Carter,” Mark replied in a tired, but patient voice. “I don’t wanna see you til tomorrow.”

Letting out an irritated sigh, Carter gathered his things, gathered Edson’s left behind coat, and left in a silent huff while Mark remained behind to sit vigil at the sleeping Dave’s side.

As Carter left, he was terrified that his friend was nowhere in sight, but he was relieved when he got outside and saw Edson slogging his way across the slush-filled ambulance bay towards the street, “Dale, you forgot your coat!” he called out in a concerned voice. “It’s freezing out!”

Edson, however, continued towards the street and Carter hurried after him, reaching him just as he got to the street, “Dale, you left your coat in Dave’s room,” Carter spoke anxiously. “It’s freezing cold out…”

“I’m going to visit Harper,” Edson replied quietly, sighing softly as he gazed up into the night’s sky with an expression of sadness in his face. “She’s nearby. When I’m with her, I’m always warm even if it’s the coldest day of the year outside. Doctor Greene told me to go visit my family, so…”

Carter suddenly grew somber, “Do you want some company?” he offered softly.

“You have living family who are waiting for you, John,” Edson replied quietly as he took his coat. “Go see them. I’m just going to see Harper, talk to her a bit, and then come back to work.”

Exhaling, Carter nodded, “If it gets slow and you feel like you want someone to talk to, you can call my cell,” he offered quietly even though he felt uneasy about leaving. “See you tomorrow, okay?”

Nodding, Edson watched Carter move off down the street towards the parkade. Only when he was sure that Carter was gone did Edson turn back, go back up the ambulance bay, and duck into a nearby alley. He found a clean patch of ground, sat down, and reached under his shirt, revealing a small heart-shaped locket that he had put a bit of Harper’s ashes in after he had cremated what of her body they had discovered at Ground Zero. The rest was on his mantle in his lifeless, bland apartment, but he didn’t have energy to go home and remind himself about his pathetic, lonely life.

Exhaling softly, Edson kissed the locket, “Hey there, Superstar,” he whispered softly, his eyes filling with tears as he spoke to the small ashes locket. “It’s been a hell of a day. Now that I’ve got a little chance to breathe, let me tell you all about it…”

“…Yes, I think that Nathan would do very well with some company in his room. His blood pressure dropped when they sedated him because they held him down when they did it cause he was panicking and swearing, so now he’s on a monitor…No, I’m not too happy with them either and I’m about ready to…”

Pain and nausea quickly shot through Nathan’s body as he opened his eyes and felt the light of the room quickly assault his senses to the point where he was gagging, “Oh, God…” he suddenly heard his grandfather suddenly swear. “I’d better go. I’ll see you when I see you.”

Nathan suddenly felt something gently tap his chin and he quickly allowed himself to vomit, “What…the…hell?” he breathed weakly. “Was…was I sedated? I feel…very, very tired…and dizzy.”

“You were,” Dr. Romano replied grimly. “You were held down and given a sedative through your IV because you were upset and swearing. To the idiots in Peds, that was so much easier than actually talking to you about how you were upset over your brother…”

Nathan responded by vomiting into the basin again, “By the way, Lucas was found out at Danvers Park with some kid named Alex Taggart,” Dr. Romano continued quietly. “They’re both here. Lucas had to have a trach, though, cause he fell into some icy pond and that…”

“What the hell was Lucas…what was he doing way out there?” Nathan breathed weakly as he closed his eyes. “Frick, that fricking light. Can’t you turn it off? Danvers Park…like, that’s way out…”

Noise suddenly filled the hallway, and Nathan swore before he promptly began puking into the basin again. Dr. Romano frowned as Amy, Luka, Elizabeth, and several Peds workers suddenly flooded into the room with a gurney containing a sleeping Lucas, who was hooked to a trach that was connected to a ventilator. As Nathan stopped vomiting and looked up from the basin, he froze at the mess surrounding Lucas and suddenly became very quiet and still.

“…What…what the hell?” Nathan breathed shakily, his eyes wide with horror. “Who…?”

Amy sighed as she looked at Nathan, “Apparently, Doug Ross did the trach at the park,” she explained quietly. “He’s downstairs in the ER right now. He got hurt rescuing your brother.”

Dr. Romano’s eyes widened in shock, and he gestured to a Peds nurse, who came quickly, “Hold this,” he ordered briskly, passing her the puke-filled basin. “Stay here and watch Nathan. I need to go…”

Before the nurse could reply or argue, Dr. Romano silently bolted from the room like a thief in the night.

Warmth was the first thing Doug felt as he slowly came to. The second thing he felt were hands…on his leg…someone was casting his leg. The third thing he could feel…was pain…in his head and chest…

Doug suddenly had the urge to cough and so he did it, which he knew was a mistake immediately because it triggered extreme pain and unpleasant noises, “Doug!” he suddenly heard a familiar voice speak. “You’re all right! Just relax…take a breath…”

“Kerry?” Doug breathed weakly through the pain and noise. “What…what’s going on?”

Doug winced as he suddenly felt himself being lifted and he frowned when he suddenly saw his left leg on a pillow and sporting a cast from just below the knee to the bottom of his foot, “You have head and face lacs, a lot of nasty bruises from falling, broken ribs, two collapsed lungs, and a broken leg and ankle…along with hypothermia…and a bit of frostbite…”

“Oh,” Doug replied groggily. “Um…thanks. Thanks for patching me up. Did…did someone call my mom? I came early to talk to her about the Rohypnol cause…she was the only one there for me when…when I was drugged. My rental car…it ran out of gas in Danvers Park and…”

Kerry and Haleh suddenly went quiet at the mention of the drugging and Doug looked pained, “I hope the kids I helped are okay, but…I am just…not feeling very good right now,” he spoke shakily, his memory of the fight with Mark suddenly flooding back to him. “Is Mark still around? I…I don’t want to see him. He thinks…the worst…the very worst…of me.”

“Mark doesn’t need to be in here, but you need to rest,” Kerry replied firmly, giving Doug a look. “All right? Do you want me to call anyone?”

Doug exhaled as he sighed, “I’m tired,” he replied in a groggy voice, suddenly feeling sleepy. “Maybe in a little while. I…I don’t know how I’m going to explain all of this to my mom or to Carol or our girls.”

As Doug began to drift off into oblivion, the doors suddenly banged open, startling him awake, “Where the hell is he?!” Dr. Romano’s voice suddenly filled the room. “Holy…”

Doug peered at Dr. Romano through his tired eyes and was stunned when he saw Dr. Romano gaping at him, completely speechless, “My God,” Dr. Romano breathed. “I’m…wow.”

“What?” Doug replied in a groggy, slightly annoyed voice. “Are you going to accuse me of being a rapist too? Mark already did that before he tried to grab me in the ambulance bay. I fell…”

Dr. Romano paused, his comments about seeing an older version of Nathan suddenly frozen on his tongue as he studied Doug incredulously, “Greene called you a…?” he asked in a pissed off tone.

“I saved two kids from a frozen park, fell through ice with one, and Mark still has the balls to think I raped someone even though I was drugged 18 years ago,” Doug replied in a weakened voice, exhaustion and pain getting the better of him. “Kerry…can I get something? I’m in a lot of pain…”

Kerry looked to Haleh, who nodded that she would help Doug, “Kerry,” Dr. Romano hissed darkly.

Exhaling anxiously, Kerry moved to the door to speak to Dr. Romano, who looked ready to punch Mark out, “Ross just saved my grandson’s life,” Dr. Romano spoke darkly. “I also heard rumors that a fight between Greene and Ross in the ambulance bay made it on the news. You can best believe I’ll be telling Doctor Anspaugh about this and that I’ll be having strong words with Doctor Greene…”

“Take a walk first, Robert,” Kerry advised him firmly. “Please? It’s been a long night for everyone.”

Scoffing, Dr. Romano left the room in silence, not saying whether or not he would actually heed her advice. Fearing the pending bloodbath between Dr. Romano and Mark, which Mark deserved, Kerry turned her attention back to making the horribly injured Doug feel comfortable so he could rest.

Chapter Text

It was about 2 a.m. by the time Carter got home to the Carter Family Mansion and he was surprised to find Abby and Jing-Mei both awake and in the kitchen, both of them sharing a pint of Rocky Road ice cream.

Abby immediately got up and silently embraced him with a hug and a kiss, but Jing-Mei continued to eat in a sad silence while watching them, “Dave’s no longer contagious and Mark actually extubated him right before I left,” Carter stated tiredly. “But he’ll be in the ER over Thanksgiving…”

“His legs?” Jing-Mei asked in a concerned voice even though she probably already knew the answer.

Carter shook his head, his expression grim, “No change even with the exercises Dale and I have been doing with them,” he replied grimly. “Dave will get moved up to the Rehab floor after Thanksgiving, though, and then maybe…”

“I think I want to see him tomorrow,” Jing-Mei interrupted firmly, giving Carter a look before he could protest. “Daniel doesn’t have to go. He can stay here with your father. I will even ride in a wheelchair to protect the baby. I just think a visit from me…it’ll raise our spirits, especially his.”

Carter was quiet for a moment before nodding, “I think Dave would like that,” he acquiesced softly. “But for now, I am going to go to bed. I am…exhausted. Dale had Mark send me home so I could rest and I…definitely need it. I also want to say hi to Maggie and Daniel…how are they?”

“Asleep,” Abby spoke up quietly. “Daniel ate supper, but he wasn’t happy about it. He misses Dave. I promised him, though, that he could make cards for him tomorrow. Daniel told me he wants to see him, but he knows he’s not allowed go see Dave while Dave is sick cause his immune system…it’s still not strong enough.”

Carter frowned and Jing-Mei sighed as she caught his frown, “We talked about that as a family, but I wasn’t sure if Daniel understood the rules that Dave and I set with him,” she commented softly, sighing. “It’s good to know that he understands them. John, Daniel’s immune system isn’t fully recovered from his chemo, so Dave and I set rules about where he’s allowed to go and how he has to be masked at school. His visit to the E.R. on Halloween unmasked…that was a special treat because Dave was with him and wanted to lift his spirits a bit. Otherwise, we’ve had rules in place. There’s also a high chance that…it could come back, so Dave wants us to be careful…”

Sadness filled Carter, as he knew Bobby’s had originally entered remission before recurring and killing him, but treatments were so much different now. And Daniel…he seemed so…strong.

“Um…I need to go to bed,” Carter replied softly, suddenly needing time by himself because the talk of Daniel’s cancer and thoughts of Bobby’s cancer were making him feel sad. “Excuse me.”

Without waiting for a reply, Carter silently left the kitchen and trudged upstairs. He did not go to bed, however, or even to Maggie’s nursery. He instead went to the room that Daniel and Jing-Mei were currently sharing, as Daniel had very quickly decided that he could not handle having a room to himself in the vast mansion and Jing-Mei had offered to stay with him so he wouldn’t be scared.

To Carter’s surprise, Daniel was awake and sitting in the window seat swaddled in a blanket from the bed. He was silently staring out the window and watching the snow fall.

“Daniel,” Carter spoke in a concerned voice as he entered the room. “Are you doing okay?”

Daniel shrugged, “I was just talking to my mom and to some guy named Bobby,” he replied softly. "They were visiting me."

Carter froze when he was about halfway to the window, his expression horrified and confused, as he knew from Dave that Daniel’s mother had died when Daniel was just a baby and Bobby…Daniel didn't even know him. Why were Dana Malucci and Bobby visiting Daniel?

“Mom knows I’m scared about my dad, but she said he’s gonna be okay,” Daniel suddenly continued in a soft voice. “She also knows I’m struggling, but she needs me to be strong and be there for him right now. And Bobby says he knows I’ve been through a lot, but he says he’ll help me.”

Carter moved closer and joined Daniel in the window seat, “Bobby, he says he misses you, Uncle John,” Daniel spoke quietly, looking at Carter with a curious expression on his face. “Who is he?”

“Oh, he’s my and your dad’s older brother,” Carter replied quietly. “He passed away when he was younger from cancer, but…Daniel…you survived your cancer. Cancer…it’s easier to treat now than it was when Bobby and I were younger. You went through a four-week cycle of chemo and now…”

Daniel shrugged and Carter sighed, wondering if Daniel was even able to connect to what he was saying, “Um, Daniel, it’s kinda late,” he spoke softly. “Aren’t you tired?”

Nodding, Daniel yawned and scooted over to him before cuddling against him, “Can you stay with me while I sleep, Uncle John?” he asked softly. “I don’t wanna be alone.”

Before Carter could reply, Daniel fell asleep against him. Carter gently picked the young boy up, carried him over to his bed, and settled him in there before climbing in beside him. Daniel immediately snuggled close to him and relaxed into a deep sleep.

Carter, meanwhile, didn’t fall asleep immediately. He simply lay there, held Daniel close, and stared up at the ceiling in silence while he pondered the conversation that he and Daniel had shared.

It was nearly 5 a.m. by the time Dr. Dremmer pulled up to the curb in front of County General in the handicap accessible car he had managed to rent for himself at O’Hare after landing in Chicago. Despite the early hour, the airport had been very accommodating about helping him get off the plane, get his things, and get a decent vehicle.

The cold, however, proved challenging to the man as he slowly made his way into the hospital and to the area near the ER. Pain suddenly shot through the residual part of his left leg as he entered the ER, however, and he quickly settled himself on the step to check it.

“Can I help you, sir?” a quiet voice suddenly filled the air as Dr. Dremmer rolled up his pant leg and removed his prosthetic. “Oh…”

Dr. Dremmer scoffed, “Not really,” he replied tersely as he reached for his bag. “My stump’s dry from the cold, so I just need to take care of it before I go see Doug.”

“Doug?” the quiet voice spoke. “He’s…he’s still down here?”

Dr. Dremmer didn’t immediately reply, however, and focused on tending to his stump with the supplies he had in his bag before he reattached his leg and rolled his pant leg down. As he finally stood up, he heard a quiet whimper followed by quiet cursing.

Frowning, Dr. Dremmer turned and frowned when he saw a young man standing near the elevators sporting scrub pants, sneakers, a hospital gown, and a gown draped over his shoulders while his left arm rested in a cast and sling, and his right hand was wrapped around a pole holding IV bags. The young man looked also slightly bruised, tired, and horribly pale and bore a heavy, heavy resemblance to Doug except for a few minor details, including glasses.

“And…just where are you supposed to be?” Dr. Dremmer asked quietly, giving him a look.

Nathan scoffed, “Asleep in Peds,” he replied in a quiet tone. “Between my brother needing a trach and trying to hurt himself and me needing to be in the hospital til at least Thanksgiving cause my body’s a piece of crap…I’m just…so pissed off about everything. I had another nightmare about that godawful house and…I couldn’t sleep, so I went for a walk while my parents were sleeping upstairs and ended up here. I was actually kidnapped from here on Halloween…just near the admit desk. I just wanted to…to see it…and think.”

Dr. Dremmer sighed, “Do you want company on your, um, walk?” he asked gently, deciding to not force the kid back to bed and instead watch him. “I need to give my leg a little exercise anyway…”

Nathan shrugged, as he truly didn’t care, and so Dr. Dremmer picked his bag up and they made their way down the hall together in silence.

Eventually, they reached the Admit Desk and Frank immediately gave Nathan a look, as he knew Nathan was absolutely not supposed to be down there at that time of the night, and definitely not by himself, but Nathan simply eyed the desk silently for several minutes before tears filled his eyes. Instead of speaking, he leaned heavily against his IV pole, and closed his eyes to cry silently.

“Oh…” Frank muttered softly, quickly catching on that Nathan was most likely remembering the events of Halloween and was probably overwhelmed between that and Lucas’s recent issues.

As Frank was debating how to handle the situation, Sam suddenly came into view intending to call up to the cafeteria to see if they could bring Alex a diabetic friendly meal in the next hour and she froze when she saw Nathan standing there shaking and crying while Frank and a guy she didn’t know lingered nearby, “Nathan…” Sam spoke softly, approaching him. “Nathan, it’s Sam Taggart…”

“I’m tired,” Nathan breathed softly as tears continued to stream down his face. “God…”

Frank quickly came around the desk and caught Nathan in a side hug, “Can I help at all?” Dr. Dremmer asked quietly.

“Get him over to Curtain One and get him resting,” Sam spoke anxiously before looking at Dr. Dremmer. “I’ll find Doctor Greene, Doctor Edson, or Doctor Weaver. Sir, patients need to wait in Chairs.”

As Frank led Nathan away, Dr. Dremmer gave Sam a look, “I’m actually fresh off the plane from Seattle and I’m here to see a Doctor Ross,” he explained gently. “My name is Doctor Dremmer and I’m Doctor Ross’s boss. Did you mention a Doctor Greene? I’d like to talk to him if I can.”

“He’s somewhere…” Sam replied in an intrigued voice, wondering why a guy would suddenly show up for Dr. Ross. “Doctor Ross is in Trauma One being looked after by Doctor Weaver. I don’t know where Doctor Edson or the nurses are…I think Edson’s in one looking after Doctor Malucci…”

Dr. Dremmer nodded, “And Trauma One is where?” he asked quietly. “I’ll just go check on Doug myself…if nobody minds. He’s not expecting me, but his family knew I was coming here.”

“I can just take you,” Sam offered quietly. “Alex is sleeping, and Frank can sit with Nathan for a bit…”

Dr. Dremmer nodded, “I’d appreciate that,” he replied gently. “Thank you very much.”

“…Doctor Weaver, this is…”

“…Doctor Will Dremmer…I’m Chief of Staff at the University of Washington Medical Center in Seattle. I came here to check on my employee and best friend after I saw the news. My God…”

Will? Doug thought groggily as he slowly came to awareness at hearing Will, Sam, and Kerry talk. Will…he’s in Chicago? That’s…

“Hey there, Doug…” Doug suddenly heard Will’s gentle voice speak into his ear.

Doug frowned as he woke and saw that Dr. Dremmer was standing there in long pants, a sweater, and a winter coat with a black winter hat over his head, “Oh my God…” he breathed groggily, squinting at him. “You’re…you’re in Chicago? What…what about your leg? The cold will hurt it.”

Kerry, Sam, and Haleh, all of whom were lingering nearby, frowned, but Dr. Dremmer scoffed, “I already took care of it when I got inside,” he replied gently. “And the airport people were incredibly helpful to the point where I got an accessible car. I didn’t even have to take the leg off at TSA…”

“Um, Doctor Dremmer, I couldn’t help but overhear…” Kerry spoke up as she approached Dr. Dremmer. “You mentioned having a…?”

Dr. Dremmer gave Kerry an amused look, “I have a prosthetic leg,” he finished softly. “Lost my entire lower left leg and my family in a bad, bad car wreck back when I was an intern and had to switch specialties and repeat the year cause of it. I was gonna be a surgeon, but I switched to Emergency Medicine because there was more moving around in the ER and my body could tolerate that more than standing still for hours. I also relocated to Seattle cause the climate there was less stressful on the limb…”

Kerry’s eyes widened in horror and Haleh immediately brought him a chair, which Dr. Dremmer took, “Thanks,” he spoke quietly, nodding to them before turning his attention to Doug. “You are most definitely going to need all that leave I got for you. You’re off til New Year’s. And you’re not arguing with that. Did someone call your mom?”

“I was going to, but then I ended up passing out and needing chest tubes,” Doug replied groggily. “And I was given pain meds after that. What time is it?”

Kerry moved towards the gurney, “About five,” she stated gently. “You want me to call your mom?”

“And Carol,” Doug spoke in a groggy voice. “I’m feeling really, really foggy…”

Dr. Dremmer sighed as he rested his arms on the gurney rail and peered at his battered friend and colleague, “Carol and your girls are gonna take a morning flight from Seattle,” he explained gently. “I talked to Carol last night before I came. You sorta made the news all the way out there.”

“Oh, God,” Doug breathed groggily as he suddenly began to feel sleepy again. “You know, Will, I only came out here to stay with my mom and do the DNA test and see if Nathan Kovac is my son. And then I ended up rescuing a Lucas and an Alex…and getting hurt. Was Carol mad?”

Dr. Dremmer gave Doug a look, “Naptime,” he replied in a gentle, but parental tone as he gave Doug a look to listen. “I can tell you need to sleep, Douglas, and so sleep is what you shall do. We can talk later on after you rest some more. I’ll be here over the holidays. Board made me take time off too, so I’m gonna do some sightseeing…”

“Just…take care of yourself,” Doug spoke sleepily as he closed his eyes. “You…don’t travel much.”

Dr. Dremmer exhaled softly, “Did you need some information about some disability-friendly places in Chicago?” Kerry offered softly. “I used to have a hip issue and required the assistance of a crutch, so I know about some places in the city you might enjoy visiting.”

“Oh,” Dr. Dremmer replied in a tired voice. “That…that might be helpful. Thank you. Once Carol and her girls get here, I’m going to head to my hotel, get some rest, and then…I’m not sure. This is the first time I’ve travelled since the accident, so…I’m a little overwhelmed. I only came here cause Doug…he and his family. They’re good friends of mine.”

Kerry suddenly went quiet as she looked towards the door and saw Mark lingering in the hall, “Um, hold that thought,” she spoke nervously. “I need to go outside…”

Quickly catching Kerry’s change in tone, Dr. Dremmer looked in the direction she was looking in and froze when he saw Mark lingering at the door looking uneasy, “Wait…is that him?” he asked coldly. “Is that that bastard?!”

Before Kerry or Haleh could reply, Dr. Dremmer got up and moved out into the hallway, “You must be the infamous Mark Greene,” he spoke in a cold tone, glaring daggers at Mark. “Am I right?”

Mark froze, “Yes,” he replied in a confused voice. “And who exactly are you?”

“Doctor Will Dremmer,” Dr. Dremmer replied coldly, continuing to scowl at Mark. “Chief of Staff at University of Washington Medical Center. I’m Doug Ross’s boss and friend.”

Mark’s eyes widened in shock, but he didn’t say anything, “And you are the unfeeling bastard who called Doug a rapist over the phone and sent him to the emergency room with a panic attack,” Dr. Dremmer continued, his cold tone deepening into a dark growl. “How dare you…”

“Did Doug…did he tell you about our history?” Mark asked in a cold voice. “About how we were friends and why we stopped being friends? He killed a kid named Ricky Abbot…”

Dr. Dremmer scoffed, his expression suddenly murderous, “I know all about that and it doesn’t define who Doug is now,” he replied coldly. “You’re quite the conditional friend, aren’t you? Only choosing to be a friend when it’s comfortable for you. When things are hard, you run like a little coward and never mind his feelings, right?”

Mark suddenly cursed and lunged at Dr. Dremmer as Kerry came out of the trauma room, “Mark!” she shouted in an appalled voice. “What the hell…?”

“Screw you!” Dr. Dremmer snapped, glaring at Mark as footsteps suddenly filled the air.

A heavy silence filled the air and Kerry suddenly paused as she noticed Jing-Mei sitting in a wheelchair being pushed by Abby, “Jing-Mei,” she spoke in a surprised voice, her eyes widening. “Abby.”

“Hi,” Jing-Mei spoke softly, offering a smile. “I thought I’d come visit Dave today…at least for a bit. I slept most of yesterday and was up at 2 having a midnight snack when John got home. I got a couple of more hours of sleep after that, but then I woke up, so Abby and I decided to just come here ourselves. John’s at home with Daniel. They’re still asleep and Jack’s looking after Maggie.”

Abby smiled as Dr. Dremmer turned and began moving away from the trauma room to compose himself, but Mark followed, “We’re not done!” he shouted. “You can’t just show up and…”

“Let me show you where Malucci is,” Kerry offered softly, smiling at Jing-Mei. "It's good to see you."

The sight of a pale Dave asleep on a gurney with an oxygen tube in his nose made Jing-Mei smile as Kerry pushed her wheelchair over to the bed. She didn’t care if Dave couldn’t feel his legs; she was simply glad he was still alive after nearly dying twice.

Ever so gently, Jing-Mei leaned down and administered a gentle kiss to Dave’s lips, “Mmm,” Dave mumbled in a weak whisper, a small smile suddenly filling his lips as he woke. “I know those lips.”

“And hello to you too, my Sleeping Beauty,” Jing-Mei spoke softly, smiling at him as she gently brushed sweat-covered bangs off of his head. “I’ve missed you, Dave.”

Dave sighed tiredly, “It…it hurts to talk, but…I’ve missed you so much,” he replied softly.

“How are you feeling, Malucci?” Kerry gently cut in as she approached the bed. “Where’s…?”

Dave blushed, “Oh, hey Chief,” he spoke tiredly, squinting at Kerry. “Um, Doctor Edson…he went to sleep, I think. He read some poems to me and did work on my legs and then asked if he could have a nap. He’s been up most of the night and I think he even spent some time outside in the freezing cold. I sorta…faked sleeping so I could keep an eye on him without him knowing. He’s been working so hard and I’m worried about him. He seems so sad. He spent some time by the window…talking to a locket and crying quietly. And I think Doctor Greene’s been bullying him. He, um, mentioned that to the locket…”

Kerry and Jing-Mei paused, both concerned, “I…I want to help him, but I’m not sure how I can,” Dave spoke quietly, frowning. “If you could help him, Chief, since I’m stuck in this bed…”

A sleepy groan suddenly filled the air and Dave fell silent as Edson slowly sat up, “I thought I heard voices in here,” Edson spoke groggily, immediately tensing when he noticed Kerry and Jing-Mei. “Um…”

“Did you get breakfast yet, Doctor Edson?” Dave spoke up weakly. “I could use something to eat if you haven’t. Could you maybe grab me something from the cafeteria? Please? I’m actually feeling hungry this morning.”

Edson relaxed, nodding, “I…I can do that,” he replied in a relieved tone. “I can do that right now.”

Once Edson had got up and left, Dave sighed, “He needed to feel appreciated and useful,” he spoke in a tired voice. “I always made sure to do that at the clinic when he worked there. I could always hear John doing that here too. I…I feel like I’ve been asleep…forever. God, it hurts to talk.”

“You don’t have to talk,” Jing-Mei spoke softly, gently stroking his face. “I just wanted to be with you.”

Dave suddenly looked excited, but Jing-Mei gave him a look, “We’re not going to have any sex while you’ve got chest tubes in, Dave,” she spoke sternly. “When you get them out, we’ll talk about that, okay? How about I tell you about what’s been going on since we moved in with Carter and you just rest your voice for a bit?”

As Jing-Mei began talking to Dave, Kerry suddenly heard raised voices in the hallway and she moved outside to see what was happening, trusting that Jing-Mei and Dave would be fine by themselves.

“…Oh, my God!” Abby yelled anxiously as she tried to move out of the way of Dr. Greene and Dr. Dremmer wrestling in the middle of the hallway after Mark had decked Dr. Dremmer in the face for calling him ‘a conditional friend.’ “You two are adults, not children!”

Mark, however, swore, and decked Dr. Dremmer again, “Calling me a ‘conditional friend’ when I was there for Doug for years is too far and I’m not gonna put up with it!” he shouted, frowning when Dr. Dremmer didn’t fight back and instead simply lay there, wincing. “What? Are you gonna just…?”

“I have to get up before my pain flares up,” Dr. Dremmer grunted anxiously, gasping as he reached for his bag, which had flown out of his hand and across the floor when Mark had knocked him down. “Do you usually beat up amputees or am I just an exception?”

Abby froze and Mark immediately looked uncomfortable as Kerry rushed into view along with Edson, who had heard the noise and immediately come running, “What the hell’s going on here?!” she shouted angrily, glaring at Mark and Dr. Dremmer. “Why in the hell are you two on the floor?”

“Oh, Doctor Greene and I were just having a bit of…a difference in opinion regarding Doctor Ross,” Dr. Dremmer grunted shakily. “Um, I need some help up and I need my bag. Right now. Before my pain flares up…”

Kerry looked at Edson, who quickly went over and carefully helped Dr. Dremmer to his feet, “Um, you’re bleeding,” Dr. Edson spoke in a concerned voice, suddenly finding himself a little taken aback by Dr. Dremmer’s bright eyes because they reminded him of Harper’s and bright eyes made him feel happy. “Do you mind if I, um, help you?”

Dr. Dremmer froze, his attention immediately captured by Edson’s messy brown hair because it reminded him of his late wife’s and he found that sort of hair very attractive. Kerry immediately noticed the two eyeing each other silently and she could tell there was some sort of connection between them, but she didn’t know Dr. Dremmer at all and she wasn’t entirely sure if Edson was gay…but she had learned long ago, mostly because of her more recent interactions with Malucci, to never assume anything about people even if she had known them for years.

Abby, meanwhile, quickly helped Mark off the floor and the two of them joined Kerry in watching Edson and Dr. Dremmer silently stare at each other, “Um…anyway, if we just step over here, I can check you…over,” Edson finally spoke nervously, realizing they were being watched. “Okay?”

Dr. Dremmer tilted his head, “Okay,” he replied in a quiet voice, offering Edson a smile.

As the two moved off together, Abby suddenly spotted a worn backpack a few feet away, “Oh, that must be Doctor Dremmer’s bag,” she spoke anxiously, quickly running to get it. “Is it just me, or…were there some…sparks between him and Doctor Edson?”

Kerry suddenly looked amused, “What…what are you talking about?” Mark asked in an oblivious tone, deeply confused. “And what did Doctor Dremmer mean by he’s an amputee?”

“Abby, why don’t you go take Doctor Dremmer’s bag to him?” Kerry spoke sternly as she glared at Mark. “I think Mark and I need to have a little talk in the lounge.”

Nodding, Abby moved off as Kerry dragged Mark off towards the lounge to give him hell over his behavior.

Dr. Dremmer and Edson didn’t speak as Edson helped the man to a gurney in the curtain area and helped him sit down before gloving up.

“Greene really clocked you,” Edson commented softly as he gently examined a gash on Dr. Dremmer’s forehead before noticing a bruise beginning to form around the man’s eye. “He also got you around the eye. Mind if I touch your eye?”

Dr. Dremmer scoffed, “Greene’s a jerk,” he replied in a pissed off tone. “Um, you didn’t see my bag anywhere, did you? I…I need my stuff for my leg. It’s starting to hurt.”

Edson frowned, “Your leg?” he asked quietly. “Do you want me to check it?”

“Um, it’s a prosthetic,” Dr. Dremmer replied quietly. “If I broke it when Greene knocked me down…”

Edson gave Dr. Dremmer a look, “Then you could sue him,” he stated simply. “The ADA exists.”

“Suing people is hell, though, and it took me years to get through the process it was to sue the drunk driver who killed my family and made me lose my leg,” Dr. Dremmer replied in a tired voice, yawning. “God, I wanna take a nap. Just…everything hurts now cause Greene knocked me down on to your tile floors. That idiot probably bruised me to hell and now I’m not gonna be able to sleep without taking pain meds. But…I have to wait for Doug’s wife and girls to get here before I can drive to my hotel. I can’t take any pain meds until after I drive to my hotel because I can’t drive for 12 hours after I’ve taken a pain med…”

Edson suddenly felt the urge to gaze into Dr. Dremmer’s bright eyes because he felt bad that the guy was tired and wanted to offer him comfort, so he did just that and offered the guy a smile at the same time, “Do you want me to kiss your bruises better?” he joked softly. “I’m a pretty good kisser.”

Dr. Dremmer, however, looked amused by that statement and offered an impish smile as Edson began to feel his face, “Are you?” he asked softly. “You’re just as wild as that charmingly messy hair of yours is, hmm?”

“And you’re just as sweet and bright as those eyes of yours are, huh?” Edson asked softly, suddenly feeling warm because he had never been into guys before, but this gentleman very much reminded him of Harper in both eyes and personality, and it was making him feel unusually attracted to him. “I actually see a bruise on your cheek. Let…let me…”

Suddenly, Edson and Dr. Dremmer locked lips after Edson leaned in to check Dr. Dremmer’s bruised cheek. They paused briefly while looking at each other in surprise.

“Um, wow,” Dr. Dremmer whispered, suddenly looking pleased and surprised. “I…I guess you were right about being a pretty good kisser. You’re…you’re very gentle.”

Edson smiled, almost a little amused, “I didn’t want to hurt you by being too rough,” he whispered. “You’re hurt…and I wanted to help you…. I wanted to help you forget about being hurt.”

“Oh, I think that was…very helpful,” Dr. Dremmer replied softly, nodding as a pleased expression appeared on his face. “In fact…I…I might need a little…just a little more help to forget…my pain.”

Edson nodded, leaned in close again, and he and Dr. Dremmer continued to kissing for several minutes before pain suddenly shot up Dr. Dremmer’s back…pain that caused Dr. Dremmer to let out a quiet whimper.

The whimper, however, didn’t end the kissing immediately, as both appeared to be enjoying it too much and their pleasure was evident in the relaxed expressions that filled their faces as they kissed. Abby, meanwhile, also found herself secretly pleased by how happy the two of them looked while they were kissing and by the romantic chatting that had preceded the kissing, as it reminded her of how happy Kerry and Sandy used to be together back when Sandy was alive.

Dr. Dremmer suddenly whimpered again and winced, which brought a prompt end to the kissing.

“Oh,” Edson spoke worriedly, his smile fading quickly at the pain in the other man’s face. “You okay?”

“I hope so,” Dr. Dremmer replied worriedly, wincing as they pulled apart. “I had some spinal trauma after the accident along with the leg. Totally screwed me as far as being a surgeon went, but I managed to get into the ER cause walking’s better for me than anything. Now that I’m a Chief of Staff…I’m very active at work just to stay healthy…”

Abby quickly moved forward as Edson propped the gurney up and readjusted the pillow, “Here, lie down,” he instructed, quickly helping Dr. Dremmer do so. “You might need a scan…”

“Oh, please, just let me sleep for a bit,” Dr. Dremmer pled softly. “Those machines…they’ll remind me of being trapped in the mess of the car again after my accident. I cannot stand scan machines. Just let me have a pain med and my stress ball.”

Edson paused as Abby quickly placed the bag on the gurney, “Doctor Dremmer, you dropped this,” she offered softly. “You okay?”

“I’m fine,” Dr. Dremmer breathed weakly, quickly taking his bag and settling it on his lap. “Thank you. I…I just need a little sleep. No chart. Doug will freak if he sees me on a gurney, as will Carol. I have prescribed pain meds that I can take, so I don’t even need to use anything from your ER…”

Edson paused, “What about the gash on your forehead?” he asked worriedly. “It looks like it needs sutures.”

Dr. Dremmer sighed, “Fine,” he replied softly, sighing as he gave Edson an amused look because he was truly intrigued by the doctor. “You can stitch me up…”

“Dale,” Edson spoke softly before remembering that he was at work, not flirting at a club. “Um…I mean Doctor Edson. Doctor Dale Edson.”

Dr. Dremmer looked amused at Edson’s nervousness and offered his own smile, “Will,” he replied quietly suddenly noticing Abby there. “Doctor Will Dremmer. And…who is the young lady?”

“Doctor Abby Lockhart-Carter,” Abby commented softly. “But…I don’t work here…”

Dr. Dremmer suddenly sighed, wincing as he attempted to pull his bag closer to him so he could get his meds. Abby went silent, knowing full well that nobody cared whether or not she was there.

“I can do that, Will,” Edson offered softly, completely ignoring Abby as he focused on Dr. Dremmer because he was so enamored by Dr. Dremmer that he didn’t care who else was around. “What do you need?”

Deciding to leave the two to their own devices, as they looked perfectly content to be with each other and left undisturbed, Abby silently began to take a walk.

“…No lecture today?”

“I don’t think you need it. You can just spend a little quiet time down here.”

“Yes sir. When did you notice I was gone?”

“Oh, about 45 minutes after you left. I had gone to get a shower, and I came back to find your bed empty. Your parents…they’re not pleased, but I said I thought I knew where you were. I was right.”

“I…there’s just a lot of crap going on in my head. Lucas’s crap…he made it so much worse, as did the sedation. I don’t know what he told Luka, but I think he tried to hurt himself. I just don’t know why. Maybe cause I wasn’t there to keep an eye on him…”

Abby moved towards the voices just in time to see Frank raise the gurney so Nathan, who looked extremely distressed, could lie down while Dr. Romano lingered beside the gurney adjusting extra pillows behind Nathan’s head and back.

“I just want you to sleep and not worry about your brother,” Dr. Romano spoke softly. “I already told Dietary to ship your breakfast down here. Doctor Trujillo will be down to talk to you around 10. She’s a Child Life…”

Nathan rolled his eyes, “A therapist?” he hissed darkly, scowling. “God…who’s idea was that?”

“It was mine, actually, and you will talk to her,” Dr. Romano replied firmly, giving Nathan a look. “I don’t care what you talk about, but you will talk to her when she comes to see you and you will be polite. I already spoke to Luka about it and he’s fine with it. You’ve been through a lot…”

Nathan exhaled tiredly, “I’m not talking about that hell-filled house,” he replied irritably as he laid on the pillows and suddenly noticed Abby. “Um, hi…”

Dr. Romano and Frank looked at Abby, who was still warmed by Edson and Dr. Dremmer’s impromptu makeout session, “What are you so happy about?” Dr. Romano quizzed.

“Oh, um, I brought Jing-Mei in to visit Dave today,” Abby spoke nervously, not wanting to out Edson and Dr. Dremmer’s kissing to Dr. Romano because it was widely known around the hospital that Dr. Romano was not a fan of homosexuality or homosexual behavior. “They’re talking in Exam One.”

Dr. Romano suddenly looked amused, “Maybe some playtime with Jing-Mei will kickstart Dave’s legs,” he commented in an amused voice, smirking. “I don’t even care if they have sex all day in there. The hospital’s tried everything else to get Dave’s legs to work, so…I don’t see how a little fun will harm him as long as he doesn’t overdo it. Maybe it’ll even knock the pneumonia out of him.”

Exhaling tiredly, Dr. Romano looked at Nathan, who had fallen asleep on the pillows, “Right then,” he spoke in a softer tone, quickly tucking a blanket around Nathan before taking a seat beside the gurney and glaring at Frank. “What are you looking at? Go mind the desk like a good clerk. And make sure nobody bothers Nathan unless it’s his parents or the nurses. Actually, I want a nurse here in five minutes to get a set of vitals to make sure his little field trip didn’t hurt him.”

“Why can’t Abby do it?” Frank suggested softly as he moved away from the gurney. “She’s a doctor.”

Dr. Romano eyed Abby and she froze, “I…I don’t…” she began nervously. “I’m not allowed to…”

“Why?” Dr. Romano asked darkly. “I would hope that you’ve been forgiven for your past mistakes by now, Abby. You’ve learned from them, correct? At least, I think you have. You delivered my newest grandson and got my newest granddaughter named after you, so…I would think that constitutes forgiveness. Besides, the nurses are annoying. I can tolerate you. So…let’s go.”

Abby hesitated briefly before nodding, “Let me get some supplies,” she replied, nodding.

As Abby went to get some supplies, however, she hurried towards the bed where she had left Edson and Dr. Dremmer, as she wanted to warn them about Romano’s presence in the area because she knew Romano would not hesitate to get Edson in trouble if Romano caught him with Dr. Dremmer.

“…You’re warm,” Abby heard Dr. Dremmer speak in a groggy voice. “Forget my meds. You’re better at making me forget my pain.”

A quiet chuckle filled the air, “I haven’t cuddled with anyone in years,” Edson’s voice filled the air in a quiet, but pleased tone. “Not since before 9/11. I lost my fiancé, Harper, in that…”

“I lost my wife in a car accident that I was in back when I was a surgical intern,” Dr. Dremmer spoke softly. “Kids too. You…hell, I know it’s freaking ridiculous, but your hair and your gentleness…you just have the kind of soul she had. You’re such a healing balm. That’s what I feel…”

A sigh filled the air, “And your eyes are bright like Harper’s were,” Edson spoke softly. “Is that weird?”

As Abby approached the gurney, she paused because she could see that Edson had joined Dr. Dremmer on the gurney and the two of them were laying side by side with their heads together, “No,” Dr. Dremmer replied in an amused voice, smiling. “I’m glad we met today, Dale. I really am.”

Edson smiled back, “So am I, Will,” he replied, his eyes growing wide as he suddenly noticed Abby standing there. “Oh, Abby. You, um…you eloped with John…recently, didn’t you? This is…”

“Yeah,” Abby replied nervously, nodding. “Doctor Edson, I thought I should let you know that Doctor Romano is down in the ER right now watching over Nathan. Consider this a bit of a Romano alert…”

Edson’s eyes suddenly widened in fear and he quickly got up off the bed and smoothed his clothes down before straightening his tie and hair, “Who’s Doctor Romano?” Dr. Dremmer asked in a concerned voice, suddenly feeling a chill in the air. “Why…why are you shaking, Dale? What…?”

“He’s the king homophobe around here,” Abby explained in a quiet, but grim tone, frowning as Edson offered Dr. Dremmer an apologetic look. “He’s run doctors out of County just because they’re gay. I used to work up on the O.B. floor, but news travels around County like wildfire and I’ve heard stories…”

Edson sighed anxiously, “And it wouldn’t take much to run me out of here,” he spoke nervously. “I already got booted out of surgery for almost killing a patient in the ICU cause I let my health problem get the better of me. You see, Will, I have hypoglycemia, and I neglected it to the point where I almost killed a guy recovering from multiple GSW’s. I didn’t guide him through post-op stuff, I was a jerk about him, and I got terfed down here til January with a warning to shape up or…”

“In other words, Dale, we gotta be quiet about us seeing each other so you don’t get fired?” Dr. Dremmer questioned softly, giving Edson a smile. “That’s cool. I want to keep you, and I also want you to keep your job. By the way, if you think I’m going to dump you over some medical condition or some mistakes from your past, you’re a bit of an idiot. I actually find you rather intriguing…”

Edson looked amused and then suddenly looked at Abby fearfully, but Abby smiled, “You both actually remind me of Doctor Weaver and her wife, Sandy,” she commented softly. “How loving they were to each other when Sandy was alive. Sandy was a firefighter who died in the line of duty…”

“Well, I’ve already almost died once,” Dr. Dremmer replied softly. “I’m kinda over almost dying.”

Edson raised an eyebrow, “And I’d be sad if you died,” he commented softly. “Very sad.”

“Well, in the interest of protecting you and our relationship from this homophobic Doctor Romano, how about we continue this conversation over dinner at my hotel this evening?” Dr. Dremmer suggested softly, smiling at Edson. “We can eat in. I have a room with a kitchenette. And I can cook for us. I don’t wanna go out in the cold anyway cause of my leg. I’d rather just rest and enjoy you.”

Edson smiled, the idea of a cozy, quiet dinner with Will Dremmer appealing to him.

“For the moment, though, Doctor Edson, we best behave ourselves,” Dr. Dremmer spoke in a more formal tone, giving him a look. “Once you suture my head, I should rest, right?”

“Right,” Edson replied in a slightly flustered voice, reluctantly forcing himself to look professional. “I’ll just get a suture kit and a nurse to…keep an eye on us and make sure we…behave ourselves.”

As Edson hurried away, Abby looked at Dr. Dremmer, “Thank you for the warning about this Doctor Romano,” Dr. Dremmer replied softly, offering Abby a smile. “You seem very kind.”

“No problem,” Abby replied softly. “It was nice to meet you. I have my own things to do, but I’ll check on you later if you’re still here, okay?”

Dr. Dremmer nodded and offered Abby another smile as she hurried off through the ER.

It was early, but Carter was wide awake.

After his chilling conversation with Daniel, Carter hadn’t been able to sleep at all. He had instead laid awake and held the sleeping Daniel in his arms until 6 before finally deciding that he had better get up for the day. He had left Daniel to sleep, given Maggie a quick kiss good morning and a cuddle, and then had asked his father to babysit Daniel and Maggie while he ran errands downtown.

And then Carter had driven straight to County, parking in the front before quietly making his way up to Anspaugh’s office. He had meant to ask Anspaugh about the grief group he ran anyway, but then Daniel’s comments about his dead mother and Bobby had unnerved him so much that he had decided to talk to someone in confidence about whether or not Daniel needed a psychiatrist or just someone to listen to him. During the trip up to Anspaugh’s office, Carter couldn’t help but wonder if Daniel’s troubles were really over or if Dana Malucci and Bobby were warning him of things to come.

As Carter approached Anspaugh’s office, however, tears filled his eyes, and he paused briefly to compose himself to the point where he had to cover his mouth and close his eyes. For what seemed like an eternity, Carter stood there in silence, overwhelmed by his sudden grief.

“Doctor Carter?” Dr. Anspaugh’s concerned, gentle tone suddenly filled the air. “Doctor Carter?”

Exhaling, Carter removed his hand from his mouth and opened his eyes just in time to see Dr. Anspaugh tilt his head at him worriedly, “Um, Doctor Anspaugh, I was wondering if I could talk to you?” Carter asked in a quiet, shaky voice. “I was sitting up with Daniel Malucci last night, as he and Jing-Mei live with us now, so they have help with the baby and with Dave. Anyway, Daniel…he told me about how he’s talked with people who aren’t alive. His mother and a brother that Dave and I had…one who died of cancer when he was just a kid. I’m not sure what to do about it. Daniel...he seemed like he was making connections with people that aren't alive. Should I be concerned? I thought...maybe you might have some insight seeing as you've lost people close to you and...and I wanted to talk to you about your grief group anyway...for people who have lost children. I know you're busy, but...”

Dr. Anspaugh suddenly looked intrigued and nodded, “Come in,” he replied softly, quickly opening the door to his office to grant Carter entry. “I can definitely spare some time for you today.”

Nodding, Carter swallowed hard and silently followed Dr. Anspaugh into his office, hoping that he could gain a little understanding about his chat with Daniel.

Chapter Text

“Tea?”

Carter fought back a yawn as he shook his head, quietly settling himself in one of the visitor’s chairs that faced Anspaugh’s desk instead, “I’m okay,” he replied in a quiet, tired voice. “Well, I’m not, but…”

Sighing softly, Dr. Anspaugh quickly used his personal sink to fill a cup with hot water and a little honey before sticking a teabag in it, “To tell you the truth, I’ve been meaning to check in on you ever since I heard you got a new kidney,” he spoke softly as he turned, set his cup on his desk, and sat down facing Carter. “Doctor Malucci…he was the one who donated that to you, correct?”

“That’s actually how we ended up finding out how we were half-brothers,” Carter replied softly, sighing. “He ended up being a perfect match and things just sort of snowballed from there. We were just sort of getting to know each other when Daniel got sick. When I shared the family’s history with leukemia, it sort of pissed Dave off and he switched to nights with Pratt for a while…and he punched me in the face. I…I sort of told him about Bobby’s death. It pissed Dave off, but…”

Carter paused, a disturbed expression filling his face, “This morning, when I got home and went up to check on Daniel…Daniel told me that he had been visited by Bobby and Dana,” he spoke in a confused, slightly concerned voice. “Daniel went through a four-week course of chemo and has been in remission since October, but I wonder if he’ll stay there. Especially after what I heard...”

Dr. Anspaugh looked thoughtful, but he didn’t say anything, “Do you think I should tell Dave what Daniel told me?” Carter asked in a concerned voice. “We’re still new to this brothers thing and he…he’s still recovering from the shooting and almost dying in the ICU. I don’t wanna set him back. If I tell him I’m worried Daniel might get sick again, he might…get upset or even get sicker…”

“On the other hand, Carter, if you don’t tell him, he might think you don’t trust him with difficult things, especially difficult things that involve his son,” Dr. Anspaugh replied softly. “In order for a relationship to succeed, it has to involve honesty…”

Carter exhaled softly, his expression sad, “And what if Dave freaks out?” he asked nervously. “Daniel…he’s everything to Dave. And Dave did not handle it well when Daniel was sick before…”

“What’s worse?” Dr. Anspaugh asked quietly, taking a sip of his now ready tea. “Seeing him freak out because you told a painful truth or having him not be able to trust you because you withheld the truth from him?”

Tears filled Carter’s eyes, “And what if Daniel does get sick again?” he asked shakily. “What if what Daniel saw was a warning of what’s gonna happen? Seeing his mother, who died when he was just a baby, and Bobby, who he doesn’t even know…that’s gotta mean something bad’s gonna happen…”

“Then you will be there for him,” Dr. Anspaugh replied thoughtfully, giving Carter a look. “I’ve never known you to be anything less than supportive and caring to anyone in need of support and care, Carter. Speaking of providing support, I was wondering if you might like to take on a few shifts of Luka Kovac’s this month and next month? His wife will be working in the ER providing support to a med-student, but two of his children will be needing medical supervision at home while they recover from injuries, so Luka is going to be taking some time…”

Carter frowned, “So Amy will be working, but Luka will be taking time off?” he asked softly. “Amy…she’ll be supervising a med-student? Just one med-student? That’s…unusual. Most doctors usually…”

“Doctor Amy Kovac’s licensed to provide supervision to individuals with challenges in professional settings and so she’s offered to come on as a supervisor for this unnamed individual while she undergoes chemo treatment for ovarian cancer,” Dr. Anspaugh explained calmly, nodding. “She’ll report to Doctor Greene. Doctor Luka Kovac, meanwhile, reached out to me personally late last night and asked for a reduction in shifts so he can care for Nathan and Lucas while they recover from their injuries and also spend time with Erinn, Katie, Joe, as well as visit with Michael and Abigail when the NICU allows them visitors again. That leaves some shifts free, and I was hoping you, as well as Abby, might want to take some shifts on to ease the pressure on everyone else…”

Carter paused before sighing, “Sure,” he replied softly, nodding. “Sure, I can do that. I’ll talk to Abby and have her talk to you.”

“Wonderful!” Dr. Anspaugh stated in a pleased voice, smiling at him. “Can you start today?”

Carter immediately nodded, “I’ll just call Abby on my way downstairs and let her know I’m going to be busy today,” he replied softly. “Um, before I go to work, I wanted to ask you about this group my therapist mentioned you run. For parents who have lost children? I…I lost a son before he was born, and I’ve been grieving him a lot lately and I was wondering if I met the criteria…”

Without a word, Dr. Anspaugh silently opened a drawer, extracted a pamphlet, and offered it to Carter, “The group meets weekly,” he explained softly as Carter took the pamphlet. “Even if your child wasn’t yet born when he died, he was still alive. Your grief is very valid, as is your want to address it. That kind of a loss…you’re certainly allowed to grieve it and you’ll definitely do that for a long time, probably the rest of your life, in fact. All of the information about the group is in the pamphlet.”

“Thank you,” Carter replied softly, sighing as he stood up. “I, um, guess I’ll get downstairs now.”

Nodding, Dr. Anspaugh sighed, “And I’ll get you a new ID and back on the payroll by the end of the day,” he promised kindly.

The desk was busier now, much like it was at Halloween. Nathan thought as he silently watched Frank, Jerry, and several nurses work at the desk while beyond, Chairs began to fill up with people either needing to be seen or needing shelter from the chaos that was the weather outside. He almost expected…chaos familiar to the chaos from that day to come through the door at any moment…

“…Abby, Anspaugh wants to talk to you in his office…”

“…Oh, that didn’t take long at all. What, does he have little cameras installed down here that tell him every time I come back here?”

“…No, he actually wanted to ask you if you wanted to help me take on some of Luka’s hours this month and next month. Luka asked for some time off. What are you doing with that…?”

“…I asked her to check Nathan’s vitals since Nathan decided to sneak down here from his room in Peds. Lucas got moved there last night and…well…it’s…”

A painful ringing sound suddenly filled Nathan’s ear, rendering him unable to hear anymore of the conversation. He silently pressed his hand over his ear and held it there for a moment, but as he removed it, he felt something sticky on his fingers. Frowning, he brought his hand back to his eyes and froze when he saw blood on his hand. His own. A bigger hand suddenly reached for his.

“…I am going to make sure you feel every bit of pain I give you until you stop breathing, you godawful little bastard!” Nathan suddenly heard Elton’s alcohol, drug-fueled, very angry tone fill his head as images of his violent visit with Elton flooded his mind.

Nathan quickly made a fist with his hand and drew it back from the other one while he huddled forward in a ball. He also closed his eyes so to try and block out the voice he could hear. All of a sudden, Nathan felt someone sit on the gurney and a hand gently rub his back in a circular pattern.

“…Nathan? It’s okay to take a breath, Nathan. I’m right here. You’re in the ER…”

A faint breath escaped from Nathan’s lips, but he didn’t open his eyes because he wasn’t entirely back in reality yet, “Doctor…Carter…” he mumbled weakly, recognizing the voice. “What…my ear…it was ringing for a minute…bleeding…hurts.”

All of a sudden, Nathan felt himself being held and felt something enter his ear, “…So Donald hired you back, did he?” he heard his grandfather ask softly. “I thought you were building your centre on Amy’s clinic land?”

“That’s still happening, but I need…I need something to do for my mental health and working here’s as good a plan as anything for that,” Carter’s voice filled the air. “Yeah…we’ll need to run some tests…”

“In the meantime, Nathan can eat his breakfast since it’s here,” Nathan suddenly heard his grandfather speak sternly. “If someone doesn’t watch him eat, he’ll throw the food away cause Elton put it in his head he wasn’t worthy of food. Do you want the honor or…?”

Carter suddenly looked torn and concerned, as he was officially back on the clock and needed to take it seriously. At the same time, however, he needed to talk to Dave about what Daniel had told him because he had promised Anspaugh he would. Carter’s anxiety must have been evident on his face because he suddenly found himself being pulled aside by a pissed off looking Dr. Romano.

“You don’t look like you’re fully here,” Dr. Romano hissed into his ear, his tone one of warning. “I swear to God in holy heaven, Doctor Carter, you better not have come to work relapsed on pain meds and expect me to keep this quiet, especially seeing as you are taking care of my grandson…”

Carter scowled at Romano, “I’ve been clean for years,” he replied coldly. “Just…something weird happened when I got home. I saw Daniel sitting at the window in the room in my family’s house he shares with Jing-Mei and I sat with him. He told me that he was talking to his dead mother and to my and Dave’s dead brother, Bobby…”

Dr. Romano froze, his expression full of shock as he processed what Carter had just said, “I was here early, talking to Doctor Anspaugh about how to handle it and he thinks I need to be honest with Dave so he’ll trust me,” Carter explained in a quiet, but slightly somber voice, sighing. “I just don’t want to disrupt his recovery…”

“You need to go and tell him and let him decide how he wants to handle the information because he is Daniel’s father, not you,” Dr. Romano replied softly, his expression pained as he looked at Carter. “Go and tell him right now and do not come back until you do. I will supervise Nathan.”

Swallowing hard, Carter nodded and silently excused himself to Exam One to talk to Dave.

Dr. Romano, meanwhile, was about to turn to Nathan to tell him it was time to eat when he suddenly heard a gurney being moved towards them, “I’m really sorry about this, Doug, but we need the trauma room,” he heard Kerry speak in an apologetic voice. “And we’re getting crowded, so there’s really nowhere else to put you for now. We’ll do what we can to get you a room upstairs later today, but for now…try and get some rest…”

Carter suddenly froze in his tracks and turned just in time to see an apologetic looking Kerry and Haleh pull a gurney past the desk and into the curtain area, a gurney that contained a very groggy looking Doug, “Would you mind finding out what happened to Will?” Doug asked groggily as he closed his eyes to block out the bright lights. “He said he’d stay til Carol and the girls got here…”

The mention of Doug suddenly caused Nathan to open his eyes, and he paused, watching in silent shock as Kerry and Haleh settled Doug’s gurney in the space next to his, “Oh, my God,” Nathan murmured softly, his expression filling with anxiety upon realizing who the guy on the gurney was. “Is…is that him? Is that Doug Ross?”

Before Dr. Romano could reply or Carter could come back, Doug’s eyes opened again because he thought he had heard someone call his name. He turned his head towards the voice and froze when he saw a younger version of himself, albeit with different eyes, glasses, a head bandage, and darker hair, staring back at him while resting on a gurney sporting a gown, a hospital housecoat, scrub pants, sneakers, a cast and sling, bruises, and an IV in one hand.

A silence suddenly fell over the curtain area as Doug and Nathan silently studied each other.

“…Mark, have you even been listening to a word I’ve been saying?” Mark suddenly heard Kerry say in a pissed off voice.

Exhaling anxiously, Mark silently helped himself to a cup of coffee before he chose to speak. He was tired and anxious. And he was ashamed of himself for losing it with Doug and Dr. Dremmer, especially given that he had gotten into a verbal confrontation with Dr. Dremmer over Doug that had quickly turned physical. He had hurt the man…along with the man’s prosthetic.

Elizabeth had also recently decided to take a brief step back from work for the next few weeks because of her recent quarantine experience to take care of pregnant self, be there for Rachel while they looked for a lawyer to help them with Rachel’s situation, and also spend more time with Ella, so Mark was alone at work with only his stress as company.

“Mark!” Kerry’s stern voice suddenly cut through the air.

Exhaling anxiously, Mark turned and noticed that Kerry was staring at him worriedly, “I know I screwed up by fighting with Doctor Dremmer and I know I screwed up with Doug,” he spoke in a quiet, apologetic voice, suddenly feeling remorseful for his recent behavior. “Rachel…she was molested by Craig, and she went and did a kit and police report, but the bastard’s pleading not guilty. He wants to drag her to court and make all our lives hell. There’s evidence, but…”

Kerry froze, her expression concerned, “I’m willing to apologize for beating Doctor Dremmer up and I’ll go on record with whoever that I triggered Doug’s panic attacks too,” Mark continued anxiously. “Elizabeth and I…we let Rachel hang out over at the Kovacs so much because it’s been keeping her mind of the situation with Craig, but…we were hoping he’d just plead guilty and go to prison quietly. Now, though, she’s gonna have to testify.”

Before Kerry, who was horrified for Rachel and for the pain it was causing Mark, could reply, Mark silently left the lounge with his coffee, so she followed after him. They moved past the desk and suddenly froze at the sight before them: Dr. Dremmer was laying on a gurney with a pillow behind his back sporting a bandaged forehead and gazing at Edson, who was sitting next to the gurney with a used suture kit and used gloves on a tray. The two were holding hands, talking quietly while smiling at each other, and just looking very happy to be in each other’s company. Malik, meanwhile, was lingering close by and looking as if he were assisting while he was just actually playing lookout.

Mark’s eyes went wide, as did Kerry’s. Malik, unfortunately, quickly caught sight of them looking and whispered something to them. Edson froze, looked at Mark and Kerry, and spoke a few words to Dr. Dremmer and Malik before getting up and leaving in a hurry with a pained expression on his face and a hand over his mouth. Malik inched closer to the gurney and Dr. Dremmer swallowed hard before he slowly sat up. Mark and Kerry silently went over to the gurney.

“…Look, whatever you think you may have seen, leave Doctor Edson out of it and let him keep his job,” Dr. Dremmer spoke anxiously before either Mark or Kerry could speak. “He was suturing my head, and I was resting my back a bit, and we got talking. He was having Malik help him, anyway, so we weren’t unsupervised…”

Mark and Kerry exchanged a look, “Um, anyway, I should get back to Doug because Doug is the reason I came here,” Dr. Dremmer continued speaking nervously, refusing to look them in the eye as he did. “And Doctor Edson…he said he had to go get breakfast for a patient?”

“Doctor Dremmer, I just wanted to apologize,” Mark blurted out anxiously. “For the fight…”

Dr. Dremmer scoffed as he slowly stood up and winced before placing a hand on his back, “Oh, because you heard I have a fake leg, you suddenly pity me?” he asked coldly, sighing. “God…”

“No, I have personal crap going on and I let it cloud my judgment when it came to the whole situation about Doug,” Mark explained anxiously. “I want to apologize…to both of you.”

Dr. Dremmer gave Mark a look before shrugging, “You didn’t get into that brawl by yourself,” he replied in a quiet voice. “I’m protective of Doug and…I acted out. It was not professional of me, but…can you please just…keep quiet about what you saw? I heard about the homophobe who works here. I think Doctor Lockhart-Carter said the guy’s name is Doctor Romano…”

“I’m the ER Chief of Staff and Dr. Romano’s currently an employee of the ER, as is Doctor Edson, so there won’t be any action as long as what whatever you two were engaged in was mutually consensual,” Mark spoke quietly. “And from what we saw, it seemed to be…”

Kerry suddenly looked amused, “Besides, Illinois fully banned discrimination based on sexual orientation through the Illinois Human Rights Act in 2004,” she explained softly. “I did not even know that Doctor Edson was even…”

“I think he’s questioning and exploring,” Dr. Dremmer replied in an equally soft voice. “And that’s okay. I myself used to be married to a woman and had children with her. Lost them all in a car wreck back when I was a surgical intern. While I was recovering, I realized…that I might have a thing for both genders and I didn’t know what to do about it. I just sort of buried myself in work and medical conferences and my colleagues, they thought I was just doing that out of grief and let me be. When I was at a medical conference in San Francisco, though, I dared go out and found myself at a gay bar. Came across a spot and kinda got bullied for my leg there, as it wasn’t as nice back then as it is now, but this doctor from the conference named Maggie Doyle defended me. It sort of turned into a brawl and we got kicked out for being involved in a fight. Almost got arrested. Turns out we were both attending the same conference. As we were leaving, this other doctor named Kim Legaspi…”

Kerry suddenly froze at the mention of Kim, as she had always wondered what happened to Kim and missed her very much more often than not even after Sandy and Henry had come into the picture, “…Doctor Legaspi was also part of the conference, so the three of us left together and just chilled in Golden Gate Park talking til 5 a.m.,” Dr. Dremmer continued softly. “The three of us have been very close ever since then. They’re helping me come to terms with…myself. I was actually gonna host the girls at my place in Seattle over Thanksgiving til this thing happened with Doug and we were gonna have a mocktail and turkey sandwich party since I cannot drink alcohol due to my meds. Now, I’m here…and I should really get back to Doug…”

“We had to move him,” Kerry spoke up anxiously, taking her mind off Kim. “We thought we had a trauma coming in, but...it was redirected. Mark, why don’t you show Doctor Dremmer where Doctor Ross is now? Maybe apologize while you’re there? I’m going to try and find Doctor Edson and talk to him and see if he’s okay.”

Before Mark could reply, Kerry walked off, leaving him alone with Dr. Dremmer, “This way,” Mark said softly. “By the way, does Doug know…?”

“Everyone knows,” Dr. Dremmer replied softly, his expression downcast as he collected his bag from the gurney. “And they’re fine with it. I just don’t get intimate with others because it’s…it’s too painful for me to let others see what’s left of me after the accident. Anyway, you wanna show me where Doug is?”

Mark sighed, “Before we do that, did you want breakfast?” he offered softly. “I, um, wanna talk to you about a brain tumor I had removed and how…how I haven’t been the same since…”

Dr. Dremmer paused and Malik suddenly moved away, deciding to see if he could find Doug himself and make sure the guy was okay, “Sure,” Dr. Dremmer finally replied softly, nodding. “Where…?”

“Cafeteria,” Mark offered quietly. “That way, you don’t have to go outside. It’s pretty cold right now.”

Dr. Dremmer nodded and silently followed Mark down the hallway towards the elevators.

“…Have you been getting enough sleep?” Carter heard Dave ask softly. “You look tired.”

A sigh filled the air, “I’m a lot older than I was the last time I was pregnant,” Jing-Mei spoke in a tired voice. “But we’re both doing fine. I’m eating enough and sleeping enough. Daniel’s very excited and also very protective of us too…”

Sadness filled Carter and he couldn’t help but wonder if Daniel was so excited because he knew that the new baby would be able to look after Dave if there ever came a time he might not be able to personally, “John?” Jing-Mei suddenly spoke in a confused voice. “Hi…how…are you okay?”

Carter paused as he looked at Jing-Mei and Dave, both of whom were looking at him quizzically, and Carter suddenly found himself sharing what Daniel had said…word for word.

When Carter was done, a silence fell over the room and Dave looked…unusually thoughtful…to Carter’s surprise, as did Jing-Mei, “I’ve been told that people with…challenges…they see things and have experiences that typical people often don’t,” Dave spoke quietly as he gave Carter a look. “Um, anyway John, this…this is not the first time Daniel has talked to his mother.”

Carter’s eyes widened in surprise, but he didn’t say anything, “When Daniel was getting night chemo, I’d sit with him when I could and he’d talk in his sleep,” Dave replied softly as tears suddenly filled his eyes. “I asked him who he was talking to once, and he told me, “Mommy. She’s visiting me cause I’m tired and having a hard time.”

Jing-Mei suddenly looked solemn, and Dave sighed, “I didn’t talk to Daniel about it again cause I didn’t want him to feel bad for talking to Dana, but after he was asleep, I spent time some time alone in the hospital chapel praying that Dana would let me keep Daniel with me for now,” Dave spoke shakily. “I’ve never told anyone that story before, John, so…please…please…oh, God.”

Exhaling softly, Dave began to weep, and Jing-Mei silently held his hand and proceeded to kiss his face to calm him. As tears filled his eyes, Carter covered his mouth and stepped out of the room to compose himself and to also give Dave and Jing-Mei some privacy.

While Carter worked to compose himself, he didn’t notice that Dr. Romano had noticed him and was now watching him with a concerned expression while keeping one eye on Nathan, who was still locked in a silent stare off with Doug Ross. Very quickly, however, Carter noticed Romano and also saw that Doug and Nathan were still staring at each other while Nathan’s tray of food sat neglected.

“Um, so…so you’re Doug?” Nathan asked nervously, his expression tense and his complexion pale as he took Doug in. “Doug Ross?”

Doug grew nervous as he took in Nathan, as he almost had a feeling he knew who this young man was, but he wasn’t entirely positive, “Nathan?” Luka’s voice suddenly carried through the ER as Luka approached from the desk after coming down from Peds so Amy could spend time with Lucas.

Carter immediately looked at Luka and frowned when he noticed how tired Luka looked and Luka looked horrified at seeing how battered Doug looked. Dr. Romano glared at Luka, wondering what he was doing there.

Nathan, meanwhile, continued looking at Doug, “What…what happened to you?” he asked softly.

“Um…I got caught in a blizzard rescuing some kid named Lucas from a pond in Danvers Park last night,” Doug replied groggily, peering at Nathan while Haleh watched with concern. “My rental car ran out of gas and this kid named Alex found me and asked for help for him and his friend…”

Nathan froze, his eyes widening, “You,” he realized softly. “You’re the one who saved my brother.”

Dr. Romano swallowed hard and Luka and Carter both looked nervous, “Oh, Lucas…he’s your brother?” Doug asked in a groggy voice, suddenly looking taken aback. “Oh…”

“Yeah, I’m a lot older than him,” Nathan replied softly. “I’m...”

Doug nodded, unsure of what to say because he was feeling overwhelmed by the sight of Nathan and by his own injuries, “You are a growing boy who needs to eat,” Carter spoke up softly as he moved over to Nathan’s gurney. “It’s breakfast time for you…”

Jing-Mei suddenly came out of Dave’s nearby room rolling her wheelchair. “John?” Jing-Mei called out in a concerned voice as she suddenly rolled herself into the hall. “Dave needs to talk to you.”

Carter suddenly froze, as did Luka, “Uncle Dave’s extubated?” Nathan asked softly. “Can I see him?”

“After breakfast, which I will help you with,” Luka spoke up gently as he approached the bed and gave Nathan a gentle look. “Are you okay?”

Nathan exhaled tiredly, “Hell if I know,” he admitted softly. “I gotta see a shrink at ten.”

“Yeah, I know,” Luka replied gently as he sat beside the bed. “Do you want me to stay for that?”

Nathan sighed and gestured to Doug, who had drifted off again the moment Nathan looked away from him, “Um, that…that is Doug Ross, Dad,” he spoke softly. “He saved Lucas. It’s weird…we, um…look kinda like each other…”

Luka suddenly looked thoughtful, and Carter suddenly retreated to help Jing-Mei back to her room while Dr. Romano began to subtly wander over to the desk to call upstairs to Peds to check on Amy and Luka, “How pissed is Mom?” Nathan asked quietly as Luka passed him the tray. “My brain…it literally just got overwhelmed with everything.”

“I think you’ve suffered enough that we don’t need to be angry at you for taking a walk,” Luka replied softly. “I just want you to know that you’re going to be spending a lot of time at home after you get out of the hospital because you need time to recover and I’ll be there making sure you actually take it easy and don’t go places without help or permission. I’m taking some paid time off between now and the end of the year to look after you, Lucas, Joe, your sisters, and also your newest brother and sister. Your mom is going back to work for a while after Thanksgiving to supervise a medical student with a disability, as he needs some help in the workplace, so I decided to take some time to be at home for a while. She has to be here anyway for treatments, so it makes sense for her to work…”

Nathan gaped at him, “I’ve always managed things fine while Mom and Grandpa Rocket worked,” he spoke in a shocked voice. “Why do you…?”

“Because you’re not well and you need to take care of yourself,” Luka replied firmly. “And you’re 17. You’re just a kid yourself. I’m the adult and I adopted all of you when I married your mother, so I am in charge of making sure you are all safe and well when your mother is busy and even when she’s not. I know you’re used to taking care of your siblings for your mom, Nathan, but you don’t have to do that anymore. Okay? Your job is to be a kid and focus on recovering from what happened to you.”

Nathan paused and silently eyed the tray before sighing, “Doctor Carter got hired on here and he was checking my ear cause it was ringing and bleeding,” he spoke shakily, frowning at the food.

Luka paused, his expression suddenly concerned, “Where did Carter go?” Haleh asked in a confused voice, having settled the sleeping Doug. “He was asked to take care of you, wasn’t he?”

“Dave wanted to talk to him,” Luka explained softly. “Doctor Chen came looking for him…”

Haleh frowned, as she hadn’t heard that Dave had been extubated or that Dr. Chen was even there.

“…Yes, Dad, Thanksgiving is very much on,” Carter and Jing-Mei heard Dave say in a quiet, almost submissive tone as they entered the room and saw that Dave had managed to get his phone off the nearby phone off the portable table and was now using it. “Noon at Garden Vista. Yes sir.”

Carter paused, but Jing-Mei looked saddened at seeing the sad pain in Dave’s face as he spoke on the phone, “Understood, sir,” Dave spoke in an even quieter tone. “I will definitely be on time.”

Only when he was sure that the call was over did Carter bring Jing-Mei over to the bed and snatch the phone from Dave’s hand, “Hey, John, what the hell, man?” Dave spoke in a shaky voice, glaring at him. “I was talking to…?”

“Oh, I know full well who you were talking to!” Carter replied in a loud, pissed off voice, glaring at each other. “And I just heard you say you were going up to Garden Vista for Thanksgiving! You can’t even feel your legs right now, let alone take transit or a cab across the city! How in the hell are you gonna go all the way up to Garden Vista for Thanksgiving?! Plus, you’re recovering from gunshot injuries and pneumonia! It’s also freezing cold out! Are you trying to kill yourself?!”

Dave scoffed, “You don’t know my father, John,” he replied in a weak voice, offering Carter a look of fear. “He…he expects…”

“I’m going up to Garden Vista on Thanksgiving and Dale’s going with me since his parents live there anyway!” Carter blurted out angrily. “Your dad wants a visit, and he’ll get one, but not from you! Dale told me how your dad gets violent with you when you visit him!”

Dave suddenly looked like he just had the wind knocked out of him and Jing-Mei looked horrified, “We’re not talking about that, and you can do what you want on Thanksgiving,” Dave replied in a weak tone. “I, um, wanted to…talk to you about what you said about Daniel, actually, and ask if you could get the Carter lawyer to draw up papers or whatever if Daniel gets sick again. I won’t be able to be objective if he gets sick again and things get bad. Nor will Jing-Mei or Amy. You, though…you will be…you’ll be able to make the tough choices that I won’t be able to. I’ll need your help…”

Carter paused, suddenly stunned speechless. Before he could reply, however, the door opened and Dr. Romano poked his head in along with Haleh, “What the hell is going on in here?!” Dr. Romano asked sternly, glaring at Carter. “I could hear you shouting from the desk.”

Dave sighed tiredly, “Just discussing Thanksgiving,” he replied weakly, gazing up at the ceiling. “And our plans.”

“Your plan, I hope, will involve lots of rest right here in the ER,” Dr. Romano spoke in a suspicious tone as he eyed Dave with a stern gaze, suddenly catching on that something was up because Dave wasn’t looking him in the eye. “You wanna tell me what’s up, kiddo, or do I have to beg? Wait…Doctor Carter, why are you holding Dave’s cellphone?”

Dave exhaled tiredly, “Because John was telling me how he is going to visit my father for Thanksgiving,” he replied tiredly as he closed his eyes. “My father…he just called me to remind me of our plans, plans he and I made before the shooting and…John offered to go visit him in my place.”

Dr. Romano suddenly froze, as did Haleh. Dave opened his mouth to apologize and promptly broke into a coughing fit instead, “Dry…throat,” he managed to wheeze.

Haleh quickly hurried to the sink and got him a glass of water and a straw, “It’s okay,” she spoke gently as she helped Dave drink. “Slowly.”

“Doctor Carter, a moment of your time?” Dr. Romano spoke in a quiet tone, motioning to Carter.

Realizing that he was going to catch hell from Dr. Romano over Tony Malucci, Carter set Dave’s phone on the table and meekly walked over to the shorter man, “Let’s take a walk,” Dr. Romano hissed in a quiet, but dangerous tone. “I think you have the time to spare. At least…I hope you do.”

Not daring to refuse a pissed off Dr. Romano, Carter nodded meekly and followed him out.

Oh, I really did it now. Edson thought anxiously as he sat in the corner of the cafeteria with his hands over his head, staring glumly at the table. It was bad enough when I was on the hook for patient neglect, but now Mark Greene can get me fired for homosexual behavior at work with a gay patient and he probably will. I don’t care if there’s an alleged law. Mark Greene hates my guts…

As Edson exhaled in an attempt to calm himself, he suddenly heard footsteps, “Doctor Edson?” Kerry’s soft voice suddenly filled the air. “Are you okay?”

“What happened down there…please…unsee it,” Edson replied anxiously. “All of it. I’m already on probation for neglecting Malucci and that…that was probably cause I let my hypoglycemia go to hell…but if the hospital knew I was…cripes, I can’t even say it.”

Kerry, however, joined Edson at the table and Edson looked at her helplessly, “I lost a pregnant fiancée during 9/11,” he explained grimly. “She was a responder at the Towers. I had her cremated when her body was found. I keep part of her ashes in a locket around my neck and the rest on my mantle. I’ve been celibate since then cause there was nobody else that brought me the joy that she did. I just threw myself into work and just didn’t think about love ever again. Until today. And do you know what’s weird? I never considered myself as one who might be attracted to a man before, but…I was treating Doctor Dremmer after Doctor Greene beat him to a pulp in the hallway…”

Kerry suddenly looked intrigued, and Edson sighed, “Doctor Dremmer and I ended up talking and making out on a gurney until Abby Lockhart-Carter warned us about Doctor Romano,” he explained quietly. “I had honestly forgotten that Romano had switched to the ER after he got his new prosthetic. But I was careless…and Doctor Dremmer…he’s attractive and kind and sweet…and he invited me for dinner tonight. I’m just…scared.”

“I was too when I first started exploring that part of myself,” Kerry replied softly, offering him an encouraging smile. “You don’t have to rush that, though. Take your time with it.”

Edson looked thoughtful, “Um, Abby…she mentioned you had a partner named Sandy,” he spoke in a nervous voice. “She said Sandy was your wife? How…how was that for you around here?”

“Those who truly cared about me supported us and those who didn’t…I didn’t have them in my life anymore,” Kerry replied simply. “You know, Doctor Edson, if you want support, I can go with you to some LGBTQ+ community group meetings so you can learn more about the community at large. This…this journey you’re taking…it’s better done with support…”

A tired sigh suddenly filled the air, “What do you want?” Mark’s kind voice suddenly filled the air. “I’ll pay for it seeing as I knocked you on your back. How is your back, by the way?”

Edson and Kerry turned towards the voice and froze as they saw Mark and Dr. Dremmer

“The crutches you stole from downstairs help me a lot,” Dr. Dremmer’s quiet voice spoke softly. “Remind me to ditch them before I go back downstairs to see Doug. He’ll freak out if he sees them and then he’ll be madder at you than he already is if he finds out why I’m using them. I’d like you two to make up if you can. You were friends for a long time from what he’s told me. I think…I think he misses what you two had…”

Mark sighed, “As do I,” he replied softly. “I’ve just changed. Since my tumor…”

“Oh, like Doug will be bothered by that,” Dr. Dremmer scoffed indignantly. “He’s not bothered by my health, so why would he be bothered by yours? Um…just a hot chocolate and a big chocolate chip muffin. I’m legitimately addicted to chocolate. I can’t drink due to my meds, so I sneak chocolate whenever I can. Oh!”

Edson paused at the sound of Dr. Dremmer’s voice, “Hey,” Dr. Dremmer’s voice suddenly spoke in a warmer tone as he inched closer to him. “I thought that was you. Um…hi there, Doctor Weaver…”

Edson frowned at seeing Dr. Dremmer on crutches, “Don’t tell me you and Doctor Greene got in another fight?” he queried anxiously.

“No, these are just to help me to walk with my backache,” Dr. Dremmer replied reassuringly as he approached the table. “Whenever Carol shows to be with Doug, I’m heading to my hotel, and I’m going to take a pain pill and rest a while. I still wouldn’t mind your company later…if you can spare the time.”

Edson smiled and nodded, having been briefed on Dr. Dremmer’s hotel and room location during their chat in the ER, “…I, um, had better get back to work,” Edson spoke in a shy voice as he slowly got up to let Dr. Dremmer sit. “Take the table and I’ll see you later.”

As Edson silently wandered over to the food counter, Dr. Dremmer sat down and rested the crutches next to the seat while closing his eyes to breathe, “…Ah, Doctor Edson, fancy running into you here!” Dr. Romano’s angry, annoyed voice suddenly filled the air along with footsteps. “Are you or are you not supposed to be on duty in the ER today?!”

“I was getting Doctor Malucci breakfast,” Edson replied meekly, lowering his head so he wouldn’t have to look at Dr. Romano or Carter. “And…and myself…”

Dr. Romano scoffed, “Really?!” he spoke in an annoyed tone, glaring daggers at Edson. “You got kicked out of Surgery for patient neglect and now you’re back to the same old song and dance during your little field trip to the ER just because you’re hungry?! Are you even taking it seriously that Anspaugh decided to give you a little grace?! If you don’t care, we can go to his office right now and we can get your pink slip filled out before the day really starts!”

Carter’s eyes narrowed, as he was more than a little confused about Edson’s sudden penitent attitude and was about to ask what was really going on when Kerry suddenly approached from behind, “Robert, Doctor Edson and I were just having a little private conference about his situation,” she spoke in a quiet tone. “Now that Doctor Malucci’s doing better, Doctor Edson thought it a good idea to talk to someone about his personal situation. You’re in charge of helping doctors with certain situations, aren’t you, Robert? If so, this is something you should know about.”

Edson suddenly looked confused and even a little afraid that he was about to be outed, but Carter and Mark simply looked confused, “Doctor Edson has hypoglycemia,” Kerry spoke firmly. “He needs accommodations.”

Dr. Romano’s eyes narrowed at Edson and both Carter and Mark looked shocked, but Edson suddenly relaxed, “Um, yeah,” Edson replied nervously, deeply relieved that Kerry hadn’t outed him or shared his slowly growing relationship with Dr. Dremmer. “That…that is probably why I screwed up with Doctor Malucci’s care and that is also why Anspaugh sent me down to the ER instead of outright firing me. Doctor Amy Kovac said I should get a medical bracelet, but…”

“And that’s exactly what you’re going to do,” Dr. Romano replied firmly, giving Edson a look. “You’re also going to have bi-weekly meetings with me until January. In addition to that, you’re going to get on a medically approved nutrition plan, have proper meal breaks, and…”

Edson sighed irritably, “Yeah, whatever,” he replied darkly. “I have to get Doctor Malucci his breakfast. He’s probably waiting for it. Before you ask, I ate…”

“Yeah, right,” Dr. Romano cut him off sternly, scowling. “You’re irritable, which means your blood sugar is probably teetering towards a crash. Get Malucci his breakfast and then get Doctor Carter to give you a blood sugar check and food. And I’ll see you for our first meeting at the end of your shift. Doctor Carter, why don’t you help your buddy out? You have a moment to spare, I’m sure. We can talk more later about…your holiday plans. And before you argue and tell me I can't tell you what to do, I oversee doctors with challenges, so guess what...you're my special little project from now on! Now march on over to the food counter and be good!”

Before anyone could reply, Dr. Romano left, and Edson went red before staring at the counter in silence. Mark suddenly felt bad for reaming out Edson earlier, as Edson’s behavior made complete sense to him, as his blood sugar could have affected his behavior and decision-making, but the guy didn’t look like he was currently in the mood to receive an apology.

Making a mental note to apologize later, Mark quickly got a couple of chocolate chip muffins and hot chocolates and made his way to the cashier. Kerry offered a nod to Edson before leaving.

“Um, Dale, I caught Dave on the phone with his dad, and we had a fight about Thanksgiving that Doctor Romano overheard,” Carter spoke in a low voice, his expression anxious. “They both know what we’ll be doing, and Dave’s pissed, but Doctor Romano simply told us to be careful and to make sure either of us is not alone with Tony Malucci at any time…”

Edson sighed tiredly as he turned his attention to the food counter, “You know why that is, John?” he spoke in a tired, quiet voice. “And do not tell Malucci I told you because Dave told me in confidence. Now that Romano knows about our Thanksgiving plans, though, I thought I’d better warn you about why nobody should visit Tony Malucci by themselves.”

Carter frowned, suddenly feeling uneasy, but he nodded, “Tony Malucci committed extreme physical and sexual violence against a child in New York a bunch of years ago, but he was never charged by the police because the child wouldn’t make a statement,” Edson explained in a hushed voice, giving Carter a concerned look. “However, DCFS did get involved and removed the child from their home. DCFS put the kid in a nice foster home in Chicago after this recently widowed doctor in Chicago, a doctor who was a newly licensed foster parent, offered to take the kid in so his daughter would have a friend and sibling to keep her out of mischief. This doctor’s daughter had recently lost her mother to a bad cancer and the doctor was wanting to keep her out of trouble…”

“Oh,” Carter replied in a quiet, shocked voice, his expression horrified because he knew that Edson was implying that Dave had been the victim of childhood sexual abuse. “Oh, my God.”

Edson sighed tiredly, “Anyway, let’s stop talking about this,” he spoke shakily. “Talking about Tony Malucci creeps me out. I need to get Doctor Malucci his breakfast…”

“And I need to help you so we can get you looked after,” Carter replied in an anxious voice, giving Edson a worried look. “Why in the hell didn’t you tell me you were hypoglycemic, Dale? We’re friends…”

Edson scoffed, “Are we?” he asked coldly, scowling at him. “I didn’t think I was worthy of kindness or compassion or even friendship from you since I almost killed your brother, John…”

“That wasn’t your fault,” Carter replied anxiously. “Your blood sugar was probably low, and it affected your ability to make good decisions…”

Edson sighed, “And now the hovering and coddling starts,” he spoke irritably. “I knew the moment that John Carter heard about my medical condition, I’d get coddled. My health doesn’t excuse what I did, John. I almost killed him, and I deserve every bit of hell that I’ve been getting for it…”

Carter responded by grabbing an unwrapped muffin off the counter and forcing Edson into a chair, “You need to eat something, Dale!” he shouted in an anxious voice, deeply concerned for his friend. “I don’t wanna be picking you up off the floor!”

Taken aback by Carter’s anxiety, Edson simply stared at him briefly before getting up and moving away from him and over to the table where Dr. Dremmer was sitting alone, as he had seen the man with crutches and was worried. He was also anxious and was comforted by the man’s presence.

Carter suddenly found himself taken aback as he watched Edson and Dr. Dremmer engage in quiet conversation as if they were familiar with each other. Dr. Dremmer gestured to the table and Edson quickly sat, giving him a worried look as he did so. Dr. Dremmer promptly offered him an amused look before offering him a kind reply. Dr. Dremmer also took the muffin from Dale’s hands and began feeding it to him piece by piece while talking to him with a smile on his face. Dale didn’t argue with being fed, he simply accepted the food and seemed relaxed by Dr. Dremmer’s ministrations.

Holy crap. Carter thought to himself, his expression dumbfounded as he watched the two interact with each other. Is…is Dale into men? He dated Harper and then Lucy. And then…he was engaged to Harper. Now…he’s into a guy? Wow. He looks completely different talking to him. Almost…happy.

Not wanting to bother the two of them, Carter moved over to the food counter and began picking out food and drinks from the mess available and loaded it on a tray, intending to give it to Dale, Dave, and to the expecting Jing-Mei. He eventually caught up with Mark, who was hanging out near the cashier with two muffins and hot chocolates and looking amused while he kept half an eye on Edson and Dr. Dremmer because he didn’t want them to be bothered by anyone.

“Let’s give them a minute, Carter,” Mark spoke softly. “They seem to be helping each other.”

Still stunned by the two new pieces of information he had learned about his colleague and friend, all Carter could do was nod silently as he stood there.

“You wanted to see me, Doctor Anspaugh?” Abby spoke in a nervous voice as she entered Anspaugh’s office. “John…he said you want us to take on some of Luka’s shifts? Are you sure?”

Dr. Anspaugh paused, giving Abby a look, “I…the last time I was an employee here, I had struggles with alcoholism,” Abby continued shakily. “I was actually off when I almost let Joe die…”

“And it’s been a while since that happened, right?” Dr. Anspaugh asked softly. “Your behavior since then…it’s been exemplary. When Luka asked if you and your husband could take on his shifts…”

Abby frowned, deeply confused, “Luka asked if we could take on his shifts?!” she interrupted in a confused voice. “As in John and I?”

“He said that Abigail wouldn’t be alive today if it wasn’t for your quick thinking and actions,” Dr. Anspaugh replied simply. “According to Luka and his wife, you were the one who delivered Abigail Kovac on Halloween in the midst of the crisis in the ER, correct?”

Abby paused, completely floored, “Luka said that?” she replied in a stunned voice. “My ex Luka?”

“You seem surprised that he would say such endearing things about you,” Dr. Anspaugh replied in an amused tone, his expression amused.

Abby sighed as she took a seat at Dr. Anspaugh’s desk, “That’s because I am surprised that Luka would say such endearing things about me after I almost killed Joe,” she replied in a confused voice. “I got drunk and almost let him drown. Luka said so many hateful things to me in the ER the night Joe was brought in and during the custody hearing in court….it doesn’t make sense to me that he’s speaking kindly about me now and recommending me for a job. He forgave me the day of the shooting, yes…but…”

“You obviously haven’t forgiven yourself,” Dr. Anspaugh finished softly, suddenly looking gentle.

Abby paused and exhaled softly, “No,” she admitted shakily, her expression sad. “And John’s the only one who knows I still struggle with it. I’m really grateful that we got to adopt Maggie…that Dave spoke on our behalf to DCFS so we could do that despite John’s health and my history, but it’s not been easy making sure I’m doing everything right with her. When John was sick and I was on my own looking after her, I was so afraid I was gonna fail her like I failed Joe. And I’m still afraid. It helps that John’s parents are living with us and that Dave and Jing-Mei are there, but…”

“I think that this is a good opportunity for you to face the past with courage and make some peace with it,” Dr. Anspaugh interrupted softly. “Because what happened between you and Joe…that’s in the past. And forgiveness is a gift that’s already been given to you. It’s a gift you now need to give yourself.”

Abby hesitated before she nodded, “Okay,” she replied softly. “I’ll take the shifts.”

“Good,” Dr. Anspaugh spoke in a pleased voice, offering Abby a reassuring smile.

“Are you pissed?” Dave asked in a weak voice as he gazed over at Jing-Mei once he had regained his voice enough from his coughing fit to speak. “Are you pissed I didn’t tell you about my dad?”

Jing-Mei sighed, but shook her head, “No,” she promised softly, gently squeezing his hand while looking at him lovingly. “Did you want to talk about the last time you saw him or anything like that?”

Dave exhaled softly, suddenly frowning when he felt himself being moved forward, “What…what’s going on?” he asked in a shaky voice. “Why am I being sat up?”

“I’m just switching out your pillows,” Haleh spoke gently, offering him a reassuring smile. “How are you feeling?”

Dave sighed tiredly, “Like half a person,” he admitted weakly, his expression grim. “I’m…I’m just feeling…so heavy. I still can’t feel my legs and…it’s a lot. I don’t regret saving Daniel, Ella, and Reese, but is a lifetime of paralysis really what I get out of all this? It doesn’t make sense. I know I shouldn’t expect any thanks for doing what I did, but I didn’t expect this either. It’s hell on earth.”

A sympathetic expression filled Haleh’s face as she put fresh pillows on the gurney, “Okay,” she spoke gently, gently easing him back down. “Can I get you or Doctor Chen anything?”

“Jing-Mei and our baby probably could use something to eat,” Dave replied softly, eyeing Jing-Mei worriedly. “You didn’t get a lot of sleep last night and I smell Rocky Road on your breath. Babies…they need things other than ice cream and so do their very hot mommies…”

Haleh’s eyes widened, “You two are expecting a baby?!” she spoke in a shocked voice.

“I guess the gossip chain at County doesn’t work as well as it used to,” Dave commented in a tired voice.

Jing-Mei smiled, “I’m about 3 months along, Haleh,” she replied gently. “We’re very excited.”

“I just wish I could do more to help you,” Dave commented in a tired voice, his expression sad. “I remember when Dana was pregnant with Daniel. I was doing whatever errands she needed because she was a nurse at the time, and she had to work to keep us from starving and being homeless cause I was a med-student and wasn’t making money. I know…it was a long time ago and it’s gotta make you feel weird…”

Jing-Mei, however, shook her head, “I’m glad you feel comfortable enough to talk about Dana with me, Dave,” she replied softly. “And you are helping me. You’re helping me by staying alive so I don’t have to raise Daniel and this baby alone or be without someone I love very much. You’ll be able to do a lot for this baby and for Daniel. You’re not half a person. You may not be able to feel your legs, but you’re still you. I didn’t fall in love with you just for your legs, Dave Malucci. So what if you’re a wheelchair when the baby gets here? We’ll get adaptable equipment so you can take care of him or her just as much as I do. I’m not going to exclude you from parenting.”

“You…you are going to make me cry,” Dave replied in a tired tone, offering her a loving look while Haleh lingered by, deeply touched. “That was incredibly sweet. Please, though, get breakfast…”

Jing-Mei, however, rested her arms and head on the gurney rail before gently stroking his face, “I’ll be fine for a little while longer,” she replied softly. “Why don’t you get more sleep? You look tired.”

“I think breakfast is supposed to be soon,” Dave spoke tiredly. “But a nap sounds like a good…”

Suddenly, the door opened, and a strangely calm looking Edson wandered in carrying the tray that Carter had handed off to him in the cafeteria. After visiting with Dr. Dremmer for a few minutes and letting the man feed him a muffin, Edson had promised to see him later for supper and then had coordinated with Carter to get Dave and Jing-Mei some breakfast and had also submitted to a blood sugar check. Carter hadn’t been satisfied with the results, of course, and had promised to come by Dave’s room quite soon with more food and Edson had reluctantly agreed to that compromise.

“Good morning, Doctor Malucci, Doctor Chen, Nurse Adams,” Edson spoke politely, his expression penitent as he nodded politely at the three of them while moving over to the portable table. “ I…I have breakfast for both of you, Doctor Malucci and Doctor Chen. Doctor Carter also asked me to tell you that he’ll visit when he can, but he’s back to work in the ER, and he’s taking a moment to talk to his wife about it before he comes downstairs.”

Dave gave Edson a worried look, “Are you okay, Doctor Edson?” he asked in a tired voice. “You seem…off.”

“Oh, I just got outed,” Edson blurted out in a frustrated tone without thinking “Big time…”

Haleh suddenly paused sporting a shocked expression on her face and Dave and Jing-Mei exchanged a shocked look, as they were all pretty certain what Edson was referring to by being outed, but nobody said anything, as they hadn’t expected that kind of a revelation from the temporarily demoted surgeon at all. Edson suddenly realized what he just said and exhaled weakly.

“Weaver told Doctor Romano, Greene, and John that I have hypoglycemia and now Doctor Romano’s making me get a bracelet and all sorts of accommodations that I really don’t have time to deal with,” Edson spat irritably as he set the tray down. “Would you like help with your breakfast, Doctor Malucci?”

Dave, however, quickly looked at the tray and silently shoved it over to Jing-Mei before gazing at the ceiling in silence with a pained expression on his face.

“You’re not hungry at all?” Jing-Mei asked worriedly, frowning at him. “Are you okay? You need to keep your strength up.”

Dave shook his head, “I’m really not hungry right now,” he replied in a quiet, slightly pained voice. “Even the idea of eating makes me want to puke. If you don’t want the stuff, take it and give it to the people in Chairs who will have to sit there half the day or take it out to the homeless who live in the alleys near the hospital. Don’t waste it…”

Jing-Mei and Haleh suddenly looked worried, “Why don’t you want to eat, Doctor Malucci?” Haleh asked softly, frowning at Dave because she was concerned by Dave’s sudden lack of appetite and sudden mood swing. “Is it because of what you said earlier?”

Dave, however, shrugged and didn’t offer a reply before closing his eyes to sleep, “I…I don’t know what to do about this,” Edson spoke nervously, frowning at Haleh and Jing-Mei. “What did he say earlier?”

“I’m tired,” Dave spoke in a soft voice. “It’s already been a long day. I wanna sleep for a bit.”

Haleh silently left the room, fully intending to find Carter or Dr. Romano or someone who might be able to talk to Dave and see what was going on with him. Jing-Mei, however, remained where she was and took Dave’s hand in hers. He didn’t pull it away from her, so she simply held it while he slept.

Edson, meanwhile, silently began to check Dave’s vitals, dressings, and drain containers to make sure that it wasn’t anything physical that was causing the mood shift and the loss of appetite simply because he didn’t know what else to do besides his job as a doctor. He didn’t dare leave the room to get help, as then it would be one more nail in the coffin that County was hellbent on burying him in. All he felt safe doing was his job…while he still had one. Even if it was working in the ER and being forced to treat everyone like his boss and even if it was on the ER’s salary…it was still a job and…

“Did you find any physical reason why Dave’s not wanting to eat?” Jing-Mei suddenly asked in a tired, concerned tone, bringing Edson out of his thoughts. “I…I hope he’s not getting sicker.”

Edson shook his head, not sure what words of comfort he could offer that wouldn’t be misinterpreted. Instead of pressing him for further answers, however, Jing-Mei simply watched him in silence because she could tell he cared about his job in the ER but was so nervous about being in the unfamiliar environment that he was struggling to connect with those around him. During their many phone calls, John had explained to her in detail about Edson’s exile and how he was trying to help the man feel at ease outside of the surgical arena, as everyone else in the ER had been outright mocking him behind his back about his fall from grace and ‘exile.’

“There’s no physical reason that I can see,” Edson spoke nervously. “I might order bloodwork and scans, but…I’m wondering if it’s a psychological thing. Like…I remember after my fiancé was killed, I didn’t really eat for a couple days. I just mixed ice cream and liquor. Maybe…maybe Doctor Malucci is just anxious over something he can’t talk about, and his anxiety is also affecting his ability to eat. It’s something I learned about from an old friend…anxiety can affect appetite.”

Jing-Mei looked intrigued, “Was your friend a psychologist?” she asked softly.

“Um, she…she was certainly good at her Psych rotation,” Edson replied as he moved back from the bed and leaned against the counter to face Jing-Mei. “But…she never got the chance to…graduate.”

Jing-Mei froze as Edson sighed, “Anyway, it’s not important,” Edson spoke quietly, not wanting to slip into his own griefs while treating a patient who was currently trapped in anxiety. “It’s in the past.”

“Speaking of the past, I, um, never got the chance to thank you for helping take care of Dave when he almost died,” Jing-Mei replied in a quiet voice, offering Edson a kind look. “I…”

Edson scoffed, “I let my hypoglycemia get the better of me and my bad judgment almost killed him in the ICU,” he interrupted nervously, frowning. “And then Anspaugh sent me down here til January so I could get myself together. I’m sorry to tell you that I’m not the beloved hero you think I am.”

“Back when I was a med-student, I almost killed a patient by leaving a guide wire in his chest and I almost quit medicine because of it, but I ultimately chose not to,” Jing-Mei replied gently, giving Edson a look. “I took some time and reset myself and got back to work. Don’t give up on yourself or your career just because you made some mistakes. Use the time down here to learn from them.”

Edson studied Jing-Mei, “You’re kidding,” he replied in a shocked voice. “You seem so…perfect.”

Jing-Mei looked amused, and Edson sighed as he got up and grabbed Dave’s chart off the end of the gurney to figure out how to approach the situation, “Um, something did happen that might have had an effect on Dave’s current mood,” Jing-Mei spoke up in a concerned voice. “His father called him.”

Edson froze, a horrified expression filling his face as he looked up from the chart at Jing-Mei, but Dave suddenly stirred before Edson could speak, “I…I was violently molested when I was a pre-teen,” Dave explained in a quiet voice, his expression pained as he spoke to the ceiling. “By my dad. Since everyone wants to talk about me and why I’m not eating, I might as well just spit it out…”

Edson suddenly bowed his head and Jing-Mei looked horrified, “I wasn’t an irresponsible prick during my residency here just because of my ADHD,” Dave revealed in a weak tone, his expression pained as he spoke. “I never got official therapy for what my dad did to me, but it sure affected me, and I never told the cops anything. DCFS got involved anyway cause teachers saw bruises…”

“That’s how you ended up with Doctor Romano and Amy?” Jing-Mei asked softly. “That?”

Dave nodded, sighing tiredly, “I...began feeling like half a person after he called because he always told me I was worthlness and wished I was dead,” he revealed grimly, his face filling with pain and anger as he spoke. “As far as I know, he doesn’t know about the shooting cause I tell the nursing home to not let him read the papers. Plus, he does not know about Daniel, and he never will. I am not going to expose my special needs child to a child molester…”

“I’ll make sure John’s not left alone with him during our visit,” Edson promised firmly. “At all.”

Jing-Mei frowned at Edson, “How did you even know about this?” she asked softly.

“I was working at the clinic when Dave and Jeanie were facilitating youth counseling,” Edson explained softly as he looked at Dave and Jing-Mei solemnly. “I heard Dave share his experience as part of the discussion when one of the teens asked Dave and Jeanie why they were trustworthy adults and how they could understand. I also overheard Dave and Jeanie arguing later cause Dave was asked by the Garden Vista staff to come sit with his father and Jeanie thought it was a bad idea. They argued and Dave went anyway. Dave came back later…with bruises and a bad mood.”

Dave sighed, but before he could reply, Haleh came into the room with Kerry and Dave suddenly felt as if he had the wind knocked out of him because talking about his molestation had hurt. It hurt so much that he couldn’t even look at anyone and instead closed his eyes and began to weep silently.

“What…what’s going on?” Kerry asked in a quiet voice, quickly freezing at seeing Dave weeping.

Edson shook his head and looked at the floor, unwilling to betray Dave’s confidence and Jing-Mei looked at the floor too, also unwilling to betray what Dave had shared. Kerry eyed them both suspiciously, sure that the two of them were hiding something. Through his tears, Dave looked surprised at the silence, as he thought Edson or Jing-Mei would simply tattle on him for not eating.

Haleh, however, moved over to the blood pressure machine and frowned when she saw that Dave’s blood pressure had spiked and that he was sweating profusely while weeping, “Doctor Weaver, his BP’s elevated,” she reported in a concerned voice, looking at her worriedly. “And he’s sweating.”

“What caused this?!” Kerry asked in a concerned, slightly pissed off voice, glaring at Jing-Mei and Edson as she moved over to the bed. “If you two don’t start talking right now, I promise that…”

Just so Kerry wouldn’t think he had passed out, Dave opened his eyes and looked her in the face, “My dad called earlier and made me feel like he usually does,” he spoke shakily, feeling very much like he just wanted to pull his crippled self into a dark hole and just stay there. “His call just brought back memories that I would rather not share with the whole ER…”

Haleh suddenly began to feel very uneasy, “Your dad’s alive?” Kerry asked in a confused voice.

Dave tensed, but didn’t reply, “BP’s continuing to climb,” Haleh reported worriedly. “Doctor Weaver…”

“Malucci?” Kerry pressed in a concerned voice, frowning as Dave began to tremble. “Malucci?”

Swallowing hard, Dave sighed and closed his eyes because he couldn’t bear to look her or anyone else in the face, “My dad molested me when I was younger, Chief,” he spoke shakily. “Every time he calls or visits with me, he likes to bring up the good old days and…he even tries to revisit them.”

Now feeling sick to his stomach, Edson continued looking at the floor in case he puked. Jing-Mei’s eyes filled with tears. Haleh looked horrified. Kerry, meanwhile, looked at Dave’s broken expression, lowered the gurney rail, sat on the edge of the gurney, put a motherly arm around Dave and simply held him while silently stroking his hair in an attempt to comfort the traumatized younger man

And Dave didn’t pull away. He simply sat there, took slow breaths, and let himself be held.

Chapter Text

“John?”

Carter stirred at the sound of Abby’s voice, but he didn’t get up from the lounge couch he had planted himself on after giving Dale and Dr. Dremmer a moment. He had gone into the lounge to reclaim his old, untouched locker, but then he had seen the couch and had remembered his sleepless night with Daniel.

And he had simply laid down, his mind overwhelmed with thoughts of Daniel being visited by Bobby and Dana Malucci. Those thoughts had tired him out to the point where he had closed his eyes to rest.

“John?” he suddenly heard Abby speak again in a concerned tone.

Letting out a quiet groan, Carter opened his eyes and sighed when he saw Abby kneeling next to him looking worried, “I did not get a lot of sleep last night,” he explained groggily as he slowly sat up. “Daniel…he kept me up all night with…a chat that I’m not sure whether or not to be worried about…”

Frowning, Abby joined him on the couch while offering him a look, “Daniel told me he was talking to his mother, Dana, and to my brother, Bobby,” Carter explained in a quiet voice as tears filled his eyes. “And Daniel…he said his mother told him she knew that he was struggling…”

Abby’s eyes widened and she promptly covered her mouth, “What do we do about that?” she finally asked, uncovering her mouth. “Did…did you tell Dave?”

Carter nodded, “I did,” he replied softly. “After I asked Anspaugh what to do because I wasn’t sure. Anspaugh said that I should tell Dave the truth…and so I did. Romano said that too. Um, speaking of Anspaugh, did you know he offered me some of Luka’s shifts between now and Christmas?”

“Doctor Anspaugh talked to me too,” Abby replied softly, nodding. “I don’t know why Luka would…why he would want me to work here....given our history.”

Carter shrugged, “Maybe Luka forgives you,” he replied softly. “And you should forgive yourself. Actually, Abby, you need to stop your night walks in the yard where you think you’re crying about Joe in private. Because you’re not doing it in private. I see you. If you’re gonna be sad about that, let’s sit together somewhere and talk about it rather than you being alone with your pain. We’re married. Let’s share our problems with each other like married people do. Next time you wanna go on a walk where you cry, let me go with you. We’ll cry together.”

Abby gave him a slightly embarrassed look, “I didn’t think you could hear me,” she replied quietly.

“I stand at the window in our bedroom and watch you to make sure you’re okay,” Carter spoke gently, cuddling close to her. “The yard does have security lights, you know, so it’s pretty easy to see you from there…”

Abby sighed, “I know you’ve been grieving over Joshua ever since you heard about Jing-Mei to the point where you’ve gone back to therapy and I know our losses aren’t the same, so…” she began, suddenly stilling when Carter stroked her cheek tenderly while giving her a loving look.

“That doesn’t mean I don’t care about your loss and your feelings,” Carter replied in a gentle, but firm tone. “I care about you losing Joe just as much as you care about me losing Joshua. Our losses are not the same, you’re right, but we shouldn’t have to deal with those losses by ourselves. We’re married, Abby. We can deal with our pain together. I love you. For better or worse. Always.”

Abby smiled and Carter proceeded to kiss her lips, a kiss that she quickly returned, “I love you too, John,” she replied between kisses. “As much fun as this is…you should probably get to work and I should get home to our girl and Daniel. They’ll wonder…”

Nodding, Carter helped Abby up off the couch and they held each other as they left the lounge.

As they looked around at the world they were returning to, however, they suddenly heard footsteps and a soft, but frantic knock on the window. They quickly turned towards the noise and their calm demeanors immediately turned to ones of astonishment when they saw who was knocking.

There, on the other side of the glass, stood a frantic-looking Carol Hathaway-Ross.

Carol’s heart wouldn’t stop pounding in her ears as she stood there, waiting to be let into what appeared to be a newly designed Admit Area.

She had gotten Tess and Kate up before dawn that morning, rushed them all through their morning routines, rushed them and all their luggage to Sea-Tac alone, and they had gotten to Chicago fairly quickly. After getting into O’Hare, she had gotten a cab for them and their things and had gone straight to Doug’s mother’s without calling.

Thankfully, Sarah Ross had been awake when they had arrived and had let them in without hesitation, and she had been shocked as hell that they had shown up so quickly. Sarah had seen the news, knew what had kept Doug the night before, but hadn’t been able to go to bed because nobody from the hospital had bothered calling to give her an update on Doug’s current condition.

Even though she herself was tired from a fairly sleepless night, a night that had been spent distracting the girls from worrying about their dad, Carol had promised Sarah that she would go to County herself and see what was going on. Sarah had promised to simply get the girls to bed in exchange…

And now here Carol was. She was at County, but she couldn’t stop panicking because she couldn’t see Doug anywhere.

“Carol?” Carter’s anxious voice suddenly broke through the air.

Carol turned and saw Carter and Abby, “Carter!” Carol breathed in an anxious voice, unable resist mobbing him with a hug. “Thank God. Do you…do you know where Doug is? And if he’s alive?”

Nodding, Carter held Carol close as he led her into the ER, past the desk, past areas where curtains were drawn, and over to the gurney where Doug was sleeping surrounded by blankets, drain containers, IV stands, and machines. Carol froze at the battered mess that her husband was. Carter immediately excused himself to the vending machines to grab Carol some food, as she looked hungry and he felt like he needed to make sure she was taken care of, plus he wanted to give Carol time with Doug.

“He’s strong, Carol,” a familiar voice suddenly spoke from nearby. “He’s just resting right now.”

Carol looked up and an expression of confusion filled her face when she saw Dr. Dremmer sitting beside the bed in a plastic chair with a pillow behind his back and his personal bag at his feet, “Did you fall, Will?” she asked in a confused voice, frowning at the pillow. “I can tell that you hurt your back…”

“It’s my fault, Carol,” Mark’s voice suddenly filled the air. “Doctor Dremmer and I had a fistfight.”

Carol turned to stare at Mark, her expression astonished, “I was also involved in that, Doctor Greene,” Dr. Dremmer spoke quietly, sighing tiredly. “Anyway, Carol, now that you’re here…I’m going to leave Doug to your loving care and go to my hotel. I’m quite tired from being up all night.”

“…Are you sure you’re okay to drive after you got into it with Mark?” Doug’s groggy voice suddenly filled the air. “Like…maybe you should rest a bit…”

Dr. Dremmer raised an eyebrow as he eyed Doug, who was struggling to wake up while laying half-swaddled on the gurney, “Hello again, Douglas,” he spoke in a gentle parental tone, smiling at the mess that was his friend. “Yes…I think I’ll be fine as long as I take it slow. You, on the other hand, need to enjoy rest and time with your lovely wife…”

Blinking, Doug opened his eyes and stared at Carol while Dr. Dremmer slowly and quietly got up, grabbed his bag, and excused himself. Mark, however, was hot on Dr. Dremmer’s heels, “Did you want me to find Doctor Edson?” Mark asked quietly as they moved away from the desk. “He’s been on all night and I’m sure we could spare him for a bit…”

“Oh, I wouldn’t want Doctor Edson to get in trouble with…what was that homophobe’s name that I saw in the cafeteria?” Dr. Dremmer spoke quietly, eyeing Mark worriedly. “That guy looked small, but somewhat…intimidating…”

Mark, however, suddenly turned away and motioned to someone that Dr. Dremmer couldn’t see.

A moment later, a confused, slightly ill looking Edson wandered into view, “You all right?” Mark asked in a concerned voice, eyeing Edson worriedly. “You look…”

“Oh, I’m fine,” Edson lied nervously, not wanting to share what Dave had shared in Exam One because Dave’s personal life was nobody’s business. “Doctor Weaver just wanted me to do rounds. She and Doctor Chen are going to sit with Doctor Malucci for a while…”

Mark raised an eyebrow at that, as he couldn’t imagine Kerry and Malucci spending more than five minutes in a room together without wanting to kill each other now that Malucci could talk again and decided to check on them once he had sent Edson and Dr. Dremmer off.

“I actually have something else for you to do that might take a while,” Mark explained gently. “Doctor Dremmer…needs a ride to his hotel,” Mark spoke gently, knowing full well that the two would probably end up spending time with each other after going to Dr. Dremmer’s hotel. “You’ve been on all night, so…maybe take a few hours to rest before you come back to work. All right?”

Taken aback, all Edson could do was nod silently. Mark quickly made tracks to Exam One before Edson could speak or argue that he didn’t need such a generous break. He knew he hadn’t been fair or kind to the demoted doctor and he had to start making it up to him and be a better leader.

Kerry Weaver sighed softly, content to stay where she was all day if it meant she could do some good for someone who was obviously broken.

Dave had quickly fallen asleep in her arms after revealing what he had about his father’s continued abuse and shedding tears, but Kerry hadn’t minded at all. She had simply held him like a mother would hold a helpless child in pain. Jing-Mei, meanwhile, had watched them for a moment before allowing herself time to rest, as she was exhausted, could trust that Kerry and Dave weren't going to kill each other, and the cot in the room looked about her size, and so inviting.

As Kerry sat there, she mused about how Dave Malucci had really never had a mother from what she knew of him. His personnel records had not listed a mother and no matter what DNA said about Dave and Carter being half-brothers, Eleanor Carter had definitely not shown any motherly love towards Dave at all since that secret had come out. Eleanor had instead been a disruptive drunk and had probably traumatized Dave to the point where he didn’t think he was worthy of a mother’s love at all.

And maybe that was why Dave had been so unmanageable the first time he had been in County’s environment. Every child needed a mother or someone capable of being a motherly influence to care for them and if they didn’t have that, it was like they were missing something inside. The lack of that influence hurt their ability to develop into human beings capable of being positive influences on the world. Perhaps, Kerry mused as she sat there with Dave in her arms, if he had had that influence…if she had taken the time to mother Dave as she had mothered Carter and even Lucy…Dave might have done better…

Fortunately, Kerry knew there was no time like the present and she could start now. She could…God forbid, influence Dave for good like she was already helping Henry to be a good influence on the world around him...

The door suddenly opened, and Kerry looked up, frowning when she saw Mark at the door.

Mark froze, his expression dumbfounded at the sight of Kerry holding a soundly sleeping Dave in her arms. Dave, Mark observed was cuddled against Kerry like a helpless little kid in need of a cuddle from his mother, or he was as much as he could be with his healing injuries, and he was completely oblivious to the fact that he was using Kerry Weaver as a comfort object and pillow. Kerry quickly gave Mark a warning look to be quiet or there would be hell to pay, and Mark nodded briefly before he noticed Jing-Mei was asleep in the cot with her hands over her growing belly.

Deciding to let them all rest in peace and quiet, Mark moved back to leave, but the aged door creaked, and Dave stirred shakily with heavy breathing. He stared at Kerry with terror in his eyes and Kerry immediately knew that Dave was there, but so deeply terrified that he wasn’t fully aware of his surroundings.

It truly broke Kerry's heart to see such terror in his eyes, as it made her wonder what kind of things his father had put him through and was still putting him through. Mark, meanwhile, simply lingered by the door silently watching in shock, realizing that this was a side of Malucci he had never seen before. And it was a sad, very broken side that he wanted to help fix.

Before Dave could speak, Kerry gave him a motherly look, one filled with love…a look that caused Dave to still and simply stare at her, completely out of it. She could feel Dave's heart pounding out of his chest and she knew it wouldn’t be good if she couldn’t calm him down, as the machines would react to his anxiety and then everyone would come to know his godawful secret when they didn’t necessarily need to.

“You’re okay,” Kerry spoke softly, gently stroking his hair to relax him. “You’re okay. You’re safe.”

Slowly, but surely, Dave drifted back into a deep slumber and again nestled against Kerry for warmth because he felt safe in her motherly embrace. Kerry resecured her gentle, but protective hold on him as if she were a mother hen protecting a defenseless baby chick in need of warmth from a storm.

At that point, Mark quietly excused himself and was careful to not let the door creak again.

Once he was away from the door, Mark promptly  turned his attention to the rest of the ER just in time to see a tired looking Amy wander towards the desk, stop at the desk, and begin talking with Frank.

Deeply curious about how Amy was doing with half her family in the hospital, Mark decided to wander over to the desk.

“…You look beat,” Frank commented worriedly as he gazed at the heavily fatigued Amy. “Did you get any sleep at all last night?”

Amy sighed softly, “Not really,” she replied tiredly. “But it is what it is. I’m a very busy mother who…”

“How’s it going, Doctor Kovac?” Mark cut in as he approached the desk and smiled at her. “How’s Lucas?”

Amy gave Mark a look, “Even with a trach and pain meds, Lucas has still got a lot to say and so he’s got a pad of paper and my father babysitting him so he stays out of mischief,” she replied tiredly. “Lucas also wants his big brother, but I don’t think that’s a very good idea right now. Lucas wants Nathan to fix his problems, as he’s always looked to Nathan to do that for him and that’s not fair to Nathan and his own recovery. I never asked Nathan to help me with his siblings, but before Luka…Nathan always just did it. He didn’t even let Dave get too close to them even though Dave wanted to help. That’s why Luka’s taking paid time off, as Luka can see that Nathan is overwhelmed, and Luka can also see that Nathan is not capable of asking for help in dealing with it…”

“Do you want me to keep having Rachel come over to hang out with Nathan when he’s out of the hospital?” Mark offered. “Craig…he wants the molestation case to go to court, but Rachel’s been at ease around your family…”

Amy smiled and nodded, “If she wants to come over, she’s welcome,” she replied softly. “By the way…how’s Dave doing? I should find a moment to look in on him…”

Mark suddenly stilled, “Kerry has him taken care of,” he replied softly so only Frank could hear. “He, um, had a moment of day terror…”

Amy frowned, “But Kerry…she’s holding Dave while he sleeps, so we’re just gonna leave them alone for a bit,” Mark finished softly. “Do you know anything about that? The day terrors?”

“No,” Amy replied quietly, shaking her head. “But I blame Tony Malucci. I never met the man, but…whatever Dave’s gone through having that man in Chicago…my heart hurts for him. Truly.”

Mark nodded, “I’m glad he’s found his way back here,” Amy continued softly, her expression suddenly growing somber. “Just in case I can’t be there for him forever. This cancer…my mother died of a similar one she got after I was born. And…”

“Cancer’s more treatable now than it used to be,” Mark cut in firmly, giving her a look. “And you’re talking to a survivor of a cancer that was supposed to be untreatable. I get the terror you must be feeling, though.”

Amy gave Mark a look, “I guess you would understand how I’m feeling,” she replied softly. “Um, where’s Nathan? I don’t see him.”

As Mark turned to look, a privacy curtain was suddenly moved back and Amy froze when she saw Luka holding a terrified Nathan in his arms while a full breakfast tray sat nearby and seemingly ignored, “It’s okay,” Luka was saying softly. “It’s not something you needed to be embarrassed…”

“I didn’t want people seeing me puke,” Nathan spat shakily. “Thanks for pulling the curtain…”

Luka nodded and Amy immediately moved over to him, “You puked?” she asked worriedly as she gently embraced him. “Why did you puke, sweetie? Are you okay?”

“So much has happened since last night,” Nathan replied shakily, frowning at her. “And Doug Ross…he’s right beside me. And the food thing I struggle with…it just triggered…stuff…”

Amy froze and turned just in time to see Carol and Doug, who had heard Nathan’s voice, stare at Amy and Nathan in shocked silence. Mark and Luka, meanwhile, stared at the group in silent awe, deeply shocked at how much Doug and Nathan resembled each other. Carol was also in shock at the resemblance between Doug and Nathan and knew it couldn’t be just a coincidence.

“Um, Mom, this is Doug Ross,” Nathan spoke shakily, quickly realizing he had just opened a box of chaos by mentioning Doug’s name to his mother and Luka. “Doug…this is my mom, Amy Romano-Kovac and my…my dad, Luka Kovac. I…I guess we, um, have some things to talk about, right? I guess…I guess we have to talk about…me.”

Just then, Carter returned with a small plastic bag full of snacks and pop he had commandeered from the vending machines for Carol. He had taken a moment longer than intended because he had taken time to see Abby off properly. The tension in the air, however, prompted him to freeze in his tracks and simply watch as Mark, Doug, Carol, Amy, Luka, and Nathan look at each other as if they were trying to make sense of a very confusing, very emotionally heavy situation.

“Hi,” Carter spoke up in a nervous, but kind voice, wanting to help if he could. “Can…can I help with something?”

All eyes were suddenly on Carter, but nobody spoke for a moment and Carter began to worry that he had overstepped.

Finally, Doug sighed as he gazed at Carter through tired eyes, “Yeah, Carter, you can definitely help us with something,” Doug replied in a tired, but clear voice, sporting a pained expression on his face as he spoke words he had been scared to address for days. “We, um…we need your help arranging a DNA test. For Nathan and I. To see if we’re father and son. I feel safe asking you to help us, Carter.”

Carter stilled and was silent for a moment before he nodded, “Okay,” he replied in a patient tone.

Mark, meanwhile, felt utterly ashamed of himself because he knew he had done anything but help Doug feel safe and he knew he needed to make it right…but he truly didn’t know how to…or if he could.

The hotel room was simple: it had an accessible queen size bed, an accessible couch, an accessible desk and chair, bedside tables, a TV, a completely accessible bathroom, and an accessible kitchenette. It was a simple, but beautifully decorated room that provided a lovely view of Chicago’s downtown area when the curtains were opened.

Dale Edson, however, preferred the view of Dr. Will Dremmer and so he simply focused on him as the two entered the hotel room together after Edson had driven them there in Dr. Dremmer’s rental car. Dr. Dremmer had focused on getting himself to the room and Edson had carried the man’s bags without complaint.

Now that they were alone together in the room, the bags sat on the luggage rack and Dr. Dremmer lay on his bed, his back propped up by pillows and exhaustion and pain making it impossible for him to do anything but lay there in his travelling clothes. Edson, meanwhile, sat on the edge of the bed at Dr. Dremmer's feet, wanting nothing more than to help and love him.

“Would you like me to help you get comfortable, Will?” Edson offered softly. “I don’t mind…”

Dr. Dremmer sighed, “I wouldn’t mind your help, Dale,” he replied with a tired sigh. “I just don’t want to…”

“To scare me?” Edson finished in a quiet voice, offering Dr. Dremmer a somber look. “Before I was kicked down to the ER, I was a surgeon. I’m scared of very little after being in the O.R. for so many years. Besides, I think I’ve seen much worse than an amputated limb. I…my late fiancé…I saw what was left of her after she was found in the mess of the Towers. Half her body was broken and half of it…it was just…a mangled, burned mess. They ID’d her through dental and fingerprint records, but I knew her face. It was the only thing not damaged. Her eyes...they were still open…”

Dr. Dremmer silently reached out and gave Edson’s hand a squeeze, prompting the other doctor to offer him a sad smile, “You can help me out of my pants and leg,” he replied softly. “I trust you. I’ll direct you…”

Edson nodded and gently helped Dr. Dremmer out of his pants and leg according to the directions he was given, leaving the man in long boxers and his shirt. He then slipped one of the unused pillows under the femur and knee before gently setting the prosthetic on the floor nearby.

“It’s not much to look at,” Dr. Dremmer spoke bitterly with a distressed sigh in his voice, closing his eyes so he wouldn’t have to look at it. “I hate looking at it, personally. Fecking drunk driver…robbed me of having a life…”

Edson, however, eyed it for a moment before gently stroking Dr. Dremmer’s knee right at the site of amputation and gently kissing it, “I think it’s perfect,” he replied softly, undeterred by it. “And beautiful. You’re beautiful, Will. Just as you are. You’re so much more than just this. You’re…sunshine.”

Dr. Dremmer froze as he opened his eyes and stared at Edson, deeply mystified by Edson’s reaction to him and his disability, “I’m what?” he asked in a confused, slightly frightened voice. “Sunshine?”

“You’re bright and warm and welcoming and safe,” Edson explained as he gazed at Dr. Dremmer with a gentle expression. “That’s what I feel when I look at you anyway. I dunno. Maybe I’m an idiot.”

Dr. Dremmer simply stared at Edson, stunned speechless at the words. Edson meanwhile, carefully covered Dr. Dremmer in blankets to keep him warm and was about to get up when Dr. Dremmer suddenly grabbed his hand. Edson paused, his eyes widening in surprise at the gesture.

“I think you could use a little of my sunshine, Dale,” Dr. Dremmer spoke gently, offering an amused look to Edson. “Besides, didn’t Doctor Greene tell you to take a nap before you went back to work? The bed…it’s very comfortable. What better place to take a nap than right here? Beside me?”

Edson blinked before he relaxed and nodded, suddenly feeling very comfortable in Dr. Dremmer’s presence, “I agree,” he replied softly, nodding as he removed his winter coat, white coat, and tie and set all three items on the bed before going around to the other side of the bed and stepping out of his shoes. “I agree with that suggestion very much. So much in fact that I’m going to do it.”

Dr. Dremmer smiled as Edson climbed into bed next to him and snuggled close to him before taking his hand, “Hi Dale,” Dr. Dremmer spoke in a sleepy, but kind tone as he turned his head and smiled at the man in bed next to him. “It’s nice to see you. It’s nice to see you here. With me.”

“Where else would I be, Will?” Edson spoke softly, smiling right back. “With you, I feel like I’m home. I feel safe. I feel…normal…and happy. I actually feel…happy.”

Dr. Dremmer responded by kissing Edson’s face, “I’m glad I could help you feel all those good things,” he replied gently. “And I’m glad you help me feel the same way. Because you do.”

Edson nodded and silently returned the kiss while smiling, completely finding joy and safety in Dr. Dremmer’s warmth.

Beep-Beep!

What seemed like an eternity later, Edson found himself swearing as he dug through the sheets for his beeper, which had come off during his ‘rest time’ with Dr. Dremmer. Dr. Dremmer, meanwhile, was sound asleep in the bed beside him.

After a few moments, Edson found his beeper and cursed loudly when he saw Peter’s personal number on the beeper. He had made Peter his emergency contact back when the hypoglycemia had first come into his life because Peter had insisted on being there for him and now…

“What is it, Dale?” Dr. Dremmer’s sleepy voice filled the air. “Why are you cursing up a storm?”

Dale nearly fell out of bed as he grabbed the phone and dialed Peter’s number, “Peter Benton,” Peter’s voice filled the phone in a confused tone after one ring. “Who is this?”

“Um, hi Doctor Benton, it’s Doctor Edson,” Edson spoke nervously. “I got your page…”

An exasperated sigh filled the phone, “Ah, so you are alive,” Peter’s parental tone filled the phone. “When Doctor Romano couldn’t find you in the ER, he called me at home to make sure you hadn’t dropped dead somewhere from low blood sugar since I’m your emergency contact and he knows that.”

“Doctor Greene gave me a little time to drive Doctor Dremmer, Doctor Ross’s friend, to his hotel and rest before my next shift,” Edson replied nervously. “I’m just not sure when my next shift in the ER is exactly…”

Peter sighed, “Doctor Romano decided he wanted to move up your meeting with him and assumed you would still be working cause you were assigned to work under Doctor Greene,” he stated in the same parental tone. “It’s nearly 10. Where are you? I’ll come pick you up so you’re not talking the EL in this weather. I have to work anyway, so it’s not inconvenient for me to stop and help you and make sure you’re okay. You sound a little…off, so I’ll pick you up a blood sugar monitor at a pharmacy on the way. Have you eaten a decent breakfast and snack  like you’re supposed to?”

Fear filled Edson, “Oh…I…” he began nervously. “I’m just over at the Embassy Suites…”

“All right,” Peter’s voice spoke again in the same parental tone. “I’ll see you in 20 minutes or so.”

Swallowing hard, Edson quickly got up and began gathering his things, “Hey, Dale, why are you shaking like a leaf in a storm?” Dr. Dremmer asked in a slightly groggy tone as he watched Edson quickly put himself back together. “Who was beeping you? You look terrified. Was it that Romano guy?”

“No, it was my emergency contact who warned me that Doctor Romano’s looking for me,” Edson explained nervously as he quickly redid his tie. “Because of my hypoglycemia, I’m now under Romano’s eye even more now since he supervises doctors with challenges. I’m in hell…”

Dr. Dremmer was silent for a moment before he slowly sat up, “Bring me my leg and help me with my pants, will you, Dale?” he finally asked softly. “What we’re going to do is implement a plan to keep you safe. And we’re going to get a little help from my friends too. Friends that I was going to invite to spend Thanksgiving with me anyway. I think they’ll come to Chicago, as they both used to live here, and they will both definitely be willing to help you out…”

Edson quickly got up and helped Dr. Dremmer get his leg and pants back on. Dr. Dremmer then got up and helped Edson straighten back up before grabbing his cell-phone, wallet, and room key, and pocketing everything but the phone. Edson quickly put his coats back on and gathered his things while Dr. Dremmer sat on the messy bed and quickly made a call on his phone.

“Hey there, Maggie,” Dr. Dremmer spoke in a kind voice, smiling as a voice on the other end answered after a single ring. “It’s Will. How are you? Um, listen…I know I said you were welcome to come to Seattle for Thanksgiving this year, but…I, um, had to come to Chicago to help a friend who got hurt saving a child and I met someone while I’ve been out here. A very special someone.”

Edson suddenly heard an amused chuckle fill the phone, “His name is Dale Edson and he’s very lovely,” Dr. Dremmer spoke in a kind tone, offering a gentle smile to Edson as he spoke. “Anyway, Miss Maggie, Dale works at County General as a doctor…”

Silence filled the air and was followed by a scoff, “Oh, God…don’t tell me that that bastard Romano still works there too,” Maggie Doyle’s voice suddenly filled the air in a pissed off tone. “Does he?”

Edson paused before sighing, “Yeah,” he replied in a nervous, slightly pained voice. “He does.”

“Whatever help Dale needs dealing with that homophobic prick Romano or if he needs help being protected from him, he’s got it,” Maggie Doyle’s voice replied in a protective tone. “I’m literally on the first plane I can get out there. Do you want me to call Kim too? I’m sure she’d wanna help you and Dale out…especially since that prick Romano’s involved.”

Dr. Dremmer smiled, “I think you and Kim will be lovely Thanksgiving company for us, Miss Maggie,” he replied in a kind tone. “Thank you so much for being so willing to help…”

“Oh, can we have our little gathering later on Thanksgiving Day?” Edson whispered. “Maybe in the late afternoon? I promised I’d help my friend and colleague, John Carter, with something earlier that day…”

Dr. Dremmer smiled, “Of course,” he whispered softly. “I’ll take care of the finer details.”

Edson nodded and was silent for the rest of the call, “Maggie will come for Thanksgiving and she’s also going to send an invite to Kim so it’ll look like a double date in case we want to go into public for dinner,” Dr. Dremmer spoke when the call was over. “If anyone asks you, I set you up with a date over Thanksgiving because I noticed you were overworked and tired and looked like you could use a cheerup after you were kind enough to drive me to my hotel. And we talked about this friend of mine for a while and lost all track of time in the process. Maggie said you can use her name in conversations because she thinks this Doctor Romano will pry…”

Edson looked awed, “Thank you,” he replied softly, sighing. “All of this…it’s so new…to me.”

“I get it,” Dr. Dremmer spoke gently, nodding. “Now, we should probably go sit in the hotel restaurant and try to look like we’re in conversation about Maggie over coffee. I’ve got pictures of Maggie on my phone, so that will be helpful. Is this Doctor Benton homophobic too?”

Swallowing hard, Edson shrugged as he followed Dr. Dremmer out of the room to begin their cover.

“Doug, it’s been a while,” Amy spoke in a quiet voice as she looked at the mess that Doug was. “Um, thank you, first of all. Lucas would thank you himself, but he’s quite unable to talk…”

Despite the fact that he was exhausted and slightly loopy on pain meds, Doug offered Amy a small smile, “How are you?” he asked softly, quickly taking Carol’s hand in his own because he was nervous.

“Oh, I’ve been better, but I’m hanging in there,” Amy replied in a quiet voice. “Um, John?”

Carter, who had immediately moved to the phone to call Genetics at Doug’s request, quickly came into view when he heard Amy’s call, “I called up to Genetics,” he offered in an anxious voice. “Doctor Julian’s coming very soon, and he’ll put a rush on getting the results to both your families. Results could be available by Thanksgiving. But…he does want Nathan to undergo counseling before taking the test because he’s under 18…”

“Oh, surprise, surprise,” Nathan grumbled irritably, scowling at Carter. “Another adult talking about me as if I’m not here and yet another medical professional who thinks I’m crazy and need therapy.”

Carter froze, his expression immediately apologetic, but Doug suddenly looked amused, “My God, he hates counseling just like I do,” Doug spoke in an amused tone, unable to stop from smirking.

Carol likewise looked amused, but Amy gently ruffled Nathan’s hair, “You were going to see Rena at 10 anyway, so that’s something you two can talk about,” she spoke gently. “I know it’s scary…everything that’s happened to you, but…”

“Is there somewhere private where I can talk to her?” Nathan interrupted quietly, suddenly looking down at the gurney cause he felt afraid. “It’s so…chaotic here. And no offense, Mom, but not many people know what it’s like to go through what I’ve been through. To be stabbed and then held hostage and not know what to do with any of it and the consequences, including my potential hearing loss. It’s…overwhelming. I know you get the hostage thing, Mom, but…you need a break…and a rest…and time with Dad…”

Amy gave Nathan a look, “I know you wanna be by yourself for your session with Rena, but I’d rather someone with medical training be present too because you are still medically compromised,” she spoke in a gentle, but firm voice. “If you don’t want Luka or I, you can take Doctor Carter or Doctor Greene with you and go sit in an exam room or the staff lounge for your counseling. And that is the only compromise I am offering. Plus, you’ll be in a wheelchair when you go to your session or to and from the bathroom. You won’t be walking around anymore today. That little trip from Peds you took by yourself this morning is the only walk you’re gonna take today. Am I clear?”

Nathan nodded and exhaled tiredly, “I think Carter can go with him,” Mark offered softly. “If Nathan doesn’t want you or Luka to be there. Carter…he gets certain things…”

“Oh, please,” Nathan replied in a slightly perturbed voice, rolling his eyes because he thought Carter was full of crap. “Doctor Carter? He’s perfect and doesn’t understand…”

Carter suddenly stilled, “I was actually almost killed by a patient in this very ER when I was a resident,” he quickly interrupted Nathan in a patient tone because he knew Nathan didn’t know the story and was also troubled by his own trauma. “That patient was a schizophrenic who ended up stabbing a medical student and I. I almost died and the medical student did die…”

Doug’s eyes widened, Mark and Carol looked at the floor, Amy looked horrified, and Nathan immediately looked at Luka for confirmation, which caused Luka to nod silently.

“Oh…” Nathan breathed in a shocked voice, his eyes widening as he looked back at Carter.

Carter nodded, “Nobody really likes to talk about Lucy anymore…except for Dave…” he spoke in a solemn voice. “That’s the name of the student who was killed: Lucy…”

“Can we stop discussing dead people?” Nathan interrupted nervously, suddenly looking queasy. “I…I can’t do this. For God sakes, I killed someone, and I can’t…Holy God…I feel sick now…”

Doug was suddenly wide awake at that, and Carol’s eyes widened in shock.

Luka, however, quickly got up and carefully lowered the gurney so Nathan was laying down and then helped roll Nathan on his side so he was facing him, “It’s okay,” Luka whispered gently. “Deep breaths. Focus on me.”

“I’m moving your appointments to this afternoon,” Amy spoke firmly as she quickly drew the curtain around Nathan’s bed. “Rena and Genetics can both wait. You’re going to get some rest right now.”

A faint mumble was the only response Amy got from inside the curtain, but she simply nodded, “I’ll see if I can’t get that stuff for you,” she spoke in a gentle tone. “I know I brought it to you in Peds, so I’ll go get it from your room. You just relax and do what Luka tells you. Okay? He’ll keep you safe.”

Doug and Carol, however, looked like they very much wanted answers about what they had heard, “Um, Amy, do you wanna share…?” Doug began in a groggy voice as he frowned at her.

“No,” Amy spoke firmly, giving Doug a stern look. “I need to go up to Peds because Nathan wants some things of his. And I don’t think you and I should be discussing Nathan's personal business with each other…at least not until we know if you’re actually related to him or not. I…I actually need to go…”

Carter looked at Amy, “You look kind of tired,” he spoke worriedly. “Do you want me to come help you?”

“Yeah,” Amy replied softly, offering him a grateful look. “I really would. Thank you, John.”

As Carter and Amy walked off together, Mark looked at Doug and Carol and they looked right back at him, “I owe you both an apology,” Mark spoke in a pained tone, sighing heavily. “For everything.”

Doug responded by gesturing to an empty chair that was next to Carol, and so Mark sat, “And I’d like to also apologize if things seem a little tense around here,” Mark continued in a soft tone, his expression apologetic as he spoke. “There was a really bad shooting here on Halloween caused by a patient, an orderly, and a guy who has yet to be found. They killed a doctor named Greg Pratt, caused Nathan’s mother to go into premature labor, kidnapped Nathan and a nurse, and those guys would have killed my daughter and two other little kids, but Malucci used himself as a human shield and…”

Carol’s eyes widened at the mention of Dave and Mark sighed, “Malucci made sure those kids were safe, and he might not be able to walk again,” Mark concluded grimly. “The day after that, Nathan showed up here in a cab half-dead with his attacker chasing him and he found a gun in his jacket. Elizabeth…she was the one who saw Nathan shoot his attacker in self-defense and she told me.”

“Oh, my God,” Doug muttered, not needing Mark to finish the story because he already knew how it ended. “Was his attacker Elton Douglas, by chance?”

Mark nodded and Doug exhaled, suddenly looking pained, “After Nathan was taken from here with the nurse, he and that nurse and that nurse’s son were held hostage in a house and Nathan was tortured there,” Mark continued quietly. “Just don’t pester him for details. He’s really struggling...”

“What can I do for him?” Doug asked in a concerned, but quiet voice. “I want to help.”

Mark sighed tiredly, “Maybe just wait to see if you’re his father, like Amy said,” he replied patiently. “I shouldn’t have told you anything, but I felt like you needed to know so that you wouldn’t misinterpret what he said. Now that you know, just maybe give him a little space til you can both get a DNA test done. I know this has gotta feel overwhelming for both of you, Doug, but Nathan…he just needs to feel safe right now. Luka is helping him feel safe. His mother is helping him feel safe. Or…at least…they’re trying to. Lucas…and whatever caused him to go running off yesterday, is only making things…”

All of a sudden, Amy and Carter came back into view. Amy was carrying a hooded jacket sporting a Grenada med school logo that looked unusually lumpy while Carter was helping Amy along. Amy didn’t look angry about it, simply resigned to Carter’s obvious efforts to be a brother-like protector.

Mark immediately fell quiet and Amy gave him a suspicious look as if she knew what he had been up to, but she didn’t say anything and simply disappeared into the curtained off area. A moment later, the curtain was pulled back and Carter and Mark paused at seeing Nathan sleeping comfortably under the hooded jacket while a teddy bear rested next to his face. Luka looked curious about the bear, but didn’t seem bothered by it.

“My hoodie from medical school,” Amy explained softly. “Nathan wanted it. I got a guy’s one cause they didn’t have girls’ ones in stock when I could afford one and Nathan…he wore it more than I did even though it was too big for him cause he felt safe in it. And Nathan’s grandfather got him the teddy, which Nathan also asked for. I got it from his room…”

Luka nodded, “If he asked for his comfort things in front of you, Luka, that means he’s finally accepted you fully and feels safe around you,” Amy continued softly. “He didn’t when he was stabbed cause he wasn’t sure about you yet…”

“Nathan let himself be uncomfortable because he was scared of how I’d react?” Luka asked worriedly, frowning at her as he gently picked up Nathan’s hand, which was poking out from underneath the hoodie. “I’m not ever going to hurt him. In fact, I told him he needed to…”

Luka suddenly fell silent as he felt Nathan’s hand close around his, “I’m going to call Peds and reschedule Nathan’s appointments for this afternoon,” Amy spoke softly, awed by what she was seeing.

“Amy, I actually need to talk to you,” Carter spoke anxiously. “About something I found when I was examining Nathan earlier. Something that will require further tests. Let’s talk at the desk since I need to make a call upstairs anyway…”

Doug, meanwhile, watched as Luka sat there in silence, holding Nathan’s hand while sporting a loving, protective expression on his face. Doug couldn’t help but wonder: would Nathan have room for him in his life if they were, in fact, related? Or would Nathan not have a need for someone he had just met and simply choose to stay solely with the father he seemed to have found in Luka Kovac?

And that worry made Doug feel tired. Tired enough to sleep and not talk to anyone…at least for a while.

Exhaling softly, Doug readjusted his head and closed his eyes, purposely shutting the world out.

Quiet greeted Peter as he entered the lobby of The Embassy Suites carrying a pharmacy bag that contained a brand-new blood sugar monitor, and he let out an irritated sigh. Romano had called him twice during his drive from Jackie’s, demanding that he and Edson get to County before they both ended up fired and Peter had promised that he would hurry.

The only problem was that Edson was nowhere to be found despite saying he was at the hotel.

A chuckle suddenly filled the air, a familiar chuckle that Peter knew to be Dale Edson’s because he had heard it once when he had overheard the man talking to himself in the surgeon’s locker room. Sighing irritably, Peter began moving towards it and found himself fast approaching a fancy-looking restaurant.

And that’s when Peter froze in his tracks.

Not far into the restaurant, Edson was sitting at a table with Dr. Dremmer and they were sitting on the same side of the table. They were also holding hands and resting their heads against each other as if they were quite comfortable with each other. Dr. Dremmer was also holding his cell phone up and the two of them were talking to each other while looking at the cellphone together.

And Edson’s hair was a mess. Messier than usual. The man was also sporting crooked shirt and coat collars underneath his winter coat. However, he looked extremely happy. Happier than he had in a long time. Peter honestly didn’t know what to do or say, as he knew Edson suffered from long-term depression because of his lost fiancé and the bullying he had been getting since his screw up with Malucci had gotten him demoted to the ER…but he also knew that Romano would not take kindly to…to this. Romano, Peter knew, was very much a homophobe and the man would not hesitate to make life hell for Edson if he suspected Edson was gay or experimenting.

Peter knew he couldn’t let that happen. He had personally been a victim of Romano’s rabuse in the past back when they had been in surgery together and so he knew how painful it was. He also knew that Edson wouldn’t be able to take getting more abuse and intimidation from someone in authority over him when Mark Greene had already thrown such behavior at the man.

Edson was vulnerable, Peter knew. Because of the hypoglycemia and because he was obviously part of a marginalized community. And Edson needed to know he had people who cared about him…who were willing to protect him from the people who sought to hurt the marginalized.

Dale Edson needed to feel safe and loved. The guy needed community. Desperately.

Exhaling softly, Peter moved into their view and Edson immediately spotted him, but didn’t let go of Dr. Dremmer’s hand immediately. Instead, Edson leaned into Dr. Dremmer and whispered something to him, and Peter suddenly noticed the two of them looking at him like they were nervous, scared animals at in a cage at an animal shelter wondering if it was safe to approach people.

Peter silently approached the table and set the bag in front of Edson, “New blood sugar monitor,” he offered in a soft voice. “It’s the best over the counter one they had. Romano will probably make you take one of the hospital’s anyway, but…”

Nodding, Edson released Dr. Dremmer and took the bag, “Thank…thank you,” he replied in a quiet, nervous voice, his happy expression quickly fading as he looked inside the bag. “I…”

“I was just treating Doctor Edson here to lunch and arranging for him to spend Thanksgiving with a friend of mine to thank him for driving me to my hotel,” Dr. Dremmer spoke up in a kind voice, hating how pained Dale suddenly seemed. “I came here from Seattle to help Doctor Ross…”

Peter paused, but before he could speak, Edson nodded silently while holding the bag to his chest, “Isn’t she pretty?” Dr. Dremmer spoke in a kind voice, quickly showing a photo of Maggie Doyle that he had on his phone. “Her name is Maggie and she’s a doctor. My girlfriend, Kim, is actually going to also join us for Thanksgiving. Isn’t that nice? We were just enjoying coffee and…”

For a moment, Peter was silent as he digested the poorly constructed lie that Dr. Dremmer and Edson were trying to feed him about Edson dating Maggie Doyle. He knew very well that Edson was not dating Maggie Doyle because he had heard from Carter a long time ago that Maggie Doyle was gay, had a girlfriend, and had also encountered on-the-job trouble from Romano because of her homosexuality. Peter then silently gazed at the table, which was lacking any sort of evidence that the two had actually been having coffee.

“Look, Doctor Edson, I’m not going to tell anyone what you were really doing,” Peter spoke in a quiet tone, giving them both a look that sent the message that he didn’t buy the story about Maggie Doyle. “It’s private and you have a right to privacy. What I am going to tell you, though, is that Romano called me twice when I was on my way over here, so we need to go and go quickly…”

Dr. Dremmer looked amused, “Maybe I’ll see you later when I bring Doctor Ross and his wife some dinner,” he offered softly, nodding at Edson with a professional expression on his face. “God knows Carol won’t take care of herself very well while Doug’s stuck in the hospital, so they will need some take out. Probably later. Around dinnertime. You have a good day, Doctor Edson. Doctor Benton. I’m gonna hang out here for a bit and just…relax.”

Understanding himself to be dismissed, Edson nodded and picked up his bag as he left the table with Peter. The two were silent as they left the hotel, made their way to Peter’s vehicle, and got in.

Only when Peter started driving did he look at Edson. Edson looked pale, tired, and was slouched in the passenger seat while gazing out the window at the passing city, “Have you thought about making another counseling appointment?” Peter inquired softly. “Besides it being mandatory, you look like you could use someone to talk to. And I know you’ve been hanging out with Carter, but…”

“Christ, John would be appalled by the idea of me with a man,” Edson muttered with a sigh. “After all the times he and I argued over Lucy, John would be absolutely appalled to know that I…”

Peter raised an eyebrow, suddenly looking amused and Edson rolled his eyes at him, “Mhm,” Peter commented softly, smirking. “Well, at least I know now why your hair is messier than usual.”

Edson blushed, “There’s a brush in the glove box I keep on hand for emergencies,” Peter instructed in a fatherly tone. “Do your hair using the visor mirror and then straighten your shirt and coat collars. They’re crooked and Romano will definitely know something’s up if you show up looking a mess.”

Edson quickly got to work getting the brush out and getting his hair in order using the visor mirror. Once his hair was in order, Edson put the brush away, slipped out of his coat, and straightened his collars before putting his coat back on. He then returned to looking out the window in silence.

Peter could feel that Edson was depressed and that the man was masking it. Hard. Even though Edson had obviously been involved in something pleasant and had been with someone who had made him feel happy, Peter could tell that Edson was still battling depression and anxiety. And Peter didn’t want to ignore the signs and lose Edson like he had allowed Dennis Gant to be lost.

Sighing softly, Peter suddenly turned off into the parking lot of a health food restaurant and parked close to the door before turning off the engine. Edson gave him a confused look, but stayed silent.

“I thought we’d get some smoothies and wraps before we went back,” Peter offered softly.

Edson stilled, suddenly confused and more than a little frightened, “You’re not okay…are you?” Peter queried softly, giving the younger man a parental look. “I know you seem happy, but…”

“I’m facing a disciplinary hearing in January about my actions with Malucci after my probationary term in the ER is up,” Edson revealed in a grim tone. “I didn’t tell anyone, but I got a letter in my box about it. Best case scenario is that I’ll be losing vacation days. Worst case scenario is termination and possible loss of my license. Anspaugh sending me to the ER was to see if I could be managed, but…hell…they’ve made up their minds already it seems. And then I heard that Anspaugh hired John and his wife in the ER. I am finished. My last day in the ER is December 31^st and I don’t know if I have a future…anywhere.”

Peter paused, confusion filling his face because he hadn’t heard that Carter and Abby had been hired on, “I hadn’t heard that,” he finally said in a quiet voice. “About any of that…”

“Neither has anyone else,” Edson replied in a grim tone as tears filled his eyes. “Tell whoever you want. I don’t care. Mark Greene will probably throw a party about it. I didn’t even tell Will. I’ll tell him after Thanksgiving. He went to all the trouble to arrange safety dates for us so we could…”

Peter raised an eyebrow at him, “Safety dates?” he asked quietly. “So…you and Doctor Dremmer are…?”

“I guess we’re a thing,” Edson admitted with a tired sigh. “Will makes me feel happy and alive, and I hope I do the same for him. He says I do, but…forgive me if I don’t fully trust what people say anymore. Anspaugh said this time in the ER was just to help me be a better surgeon, but now look what’s happening. I might not to get to go back to that or anywhere at County and it’s not fair…”

Peter suddenly looked thoughtful, “You know…as much as you don’t like being under Doctor Romano’s watch now, you should show him the letter about your upcoming hearing,” he commented softly. “And be open about your anxiety and depression to him, as you’re probably experiencing those negative emotions because of all the bullying you’ve been getting since you got sent to the ER. Do you have the letter about your disciplinary hearing in January?”

Edson was silent for a moment and then reached into his jacket pocket and produced it, showing that it was stuffed in a partially open envelope, “Why are you being so nice?” he asked quietly, hardly able to believe that the god-like Peter Benton actually care about him and his future.

“Because I made the mistake of not caring about Dennis Gant when he was struggling,” Peter replied as he took the letter from Edson. “I don’t know if you remember, but Gant…”

Edson sighed heavily, “Who could ever forget Dennis Gant?” he replied shakily, his expression somber as he spoke. “I sure as hell can’t..."

Peter nodded, his expression solemn as he studied the somber looking Edson with the expression of a loving parent, “I also want to avoid repeating history,” he spoke softly. “And save your life. I want to help you feel safe in this world. I want to help you like I should have helped Gant."

Edson stilled briefly before he nodded, “Thank you,” he replied softly. “For wanting to help me.”

Chapter Text

“Amy Kovac?”

Amy, who had sat at the desk with Carter to eavesdrop on his calls to Radiology and Audiology and also listen to his concerns about Nathan’s hearing, looked up towards the voice, “Rena?” Carter’s stunned voice suddenly filled the air.

Rena Trujillo looked surprised to see Carter and Amy noticed it, “John?” Rena spoke in a surprised tone, her eyes widening at him. “You still work here? I haven’t seen you around…”

“No, I took some time to work in Africa with my wife, and I also had some health issues and I’m just starting to work here again today,” Carter explained patiently. “Um…what…what are you…?”

Amy sighed, “Doctor Carter, Rena is the Child Life specialist that we arranged for Nathan to talk to,” she stated in a kind, but professional tone of voice. “Rena, I’m Amy Kovac, Nathan’s mother. We spoke on the phone. I apologize for pushing Nathan’s appointment back, but he was…”

“Don’t apologize,” Rena cut Amy off gently, offering a smile. “Child Life specialists are trained in trauma reduction. Among other things, we’re supposed to help reduce trauma by going at the pace of the patient, no matter what that pace is…”

Amy nodded, deeply relieved, “Well, Nathan’s awake, in Curtain Area One, and I think Luka got him to at least have some juice,” she replied softly, her expression morphing into one of concern as she spoke. “Nurse Haleh Adams is currently doing vitals. I’ve, um, been going over some things with Nathan’s doctor, but keeping my eye on things over there. I think Nathan’s okay with liquids for now, but…not so great with food. I’ll let him explain it to you. He’s…he’s had a really rough day.”

Rena offered a nod and an expression of understanding, “I’d also like a doctor to be in the room with Nathan when he talks to you,” Amy continued softly. “Because he’s still having medical issues and needs supervision. Doctor Greene suggested Doctor Carter, but if you’re not comfortable…”

“We’re medical professionals, Doctor Carter and I,” Rena replied calmly, nodding at Amy. “Besides, you look tired.”

Amy raised an eyebrow, “Well, I’ve got ovarian cancer, three children at home wanting their family back together, two premature children on visitor lockdown in the NICU, and two sons in the hospital who have different struggles and needs,” she spoke simply, sighing. “Of course I’m tired. When I went to get Nathan some things earlier, Lucas was asleep, and my father said he was being moody earlier. I think Lucas just wants Nathan to get him out of trouble and that’s not happening anymore.”

Rena raised an eyebrow and Amy sighed, “This isn’t the first time Lucas has done something like cut school or behave…like he behaved yesterday, but Nathan always got him out of trouble, and they made a brotherly pact to keep quiet about the misadventure,” Amy explained quietly. “I always figured their little thing out, though, and I simply had them help out at my and Dave’s clinic as a bit of a penance because I knew a discussion wouldn’t do anything useful. We actually spent time together there as a family. It helped the kids stay grounded and responsible…mostly. Anyway, would you like me to introduce you?”

Rena nodded and Amy led her over to Nathan’s bed while Carter followed silently behind them. The curtain had been pulled around Doug’s bed, so Carter couldn’t see Doug and Carol anymore, but Nathan was awake and resting against readjusted pillows with the med-school hoodie draped around his shoulders while the teddy was resting in the crook of his good arm and his good hand was occupied by a pulse-ox clip while a thermometer was resting in his mouth, and a blood pressure cuff was around his arm. There was no longer an IV, as it had run dry and been removed.

An empty drink container sat on the portable table beside a tray of uneaten cottage cheese and applesauce. Haleh was standing next to the bed holding a chart and checking Nathan’s vitals while Luka sat nearby, watching thoughtfully.

The thermometer and machine finally beeped, “Temp’s normal, but your blood pressure’s low, honey,” Haleh spoke softly, offering Nathan a motherly look as she removed the thermometer and checked it and the other machine before removing the other medical equipment from his good arm. “I know your stomach’s not been well this morning, so I’m gonna take a long walk over to a soda machine and get something to help you with that and also do some other things before I come back. Then maybe…we’ll see if we can’t get you eating something to try and bring your numbers up. Okay?”

Nathan nodded and silently drew his teddy bear to his heart while Haleh moved away.

“Hey there, Nathan, this is Rena,” Amy spoke gently. “She’s ready to talk with you if you wanted to go sit in a room…”

“Actually, um, I was hoping to just stay in bed and talk here,” Nathan replied softly. “Is that okay? You and Dad can go and relax a bit if you want. And I’ll just stay here with Rocket…and Doctor Carter…if I can keep Rocket with me, that is.”

Amy smiled, “Yes, Rocket can stay with you,” she replied softly. “And your dad and I will probably go get a tea and a cuddle if you’re okay here…”

“Um, who’s Rocket?” Carter asked in a confused voice as Luka got up from his chair to let him sit.

Nathan gave Carter a look before gesturing to the teddy, “He’s named after my Grandpa Rocket, the guy who bought him for me,” he replied in a quiet, slightly nervous voice because he was now afraid that Carter was going to make fun of a 17-year-old needing a teddy.

Carter, however, looked thoughtful as he sat down, “Um, actually, Rocket reminds me of a toy my daughter, Maggie has,” he commented kindly. “It was actually a gift I bought her shortly after my wife and I became her official parents, and we were able to start spoiling her. The toy I’m talking about is a very special rocking pony that looks similar to an actual pony I had as a child. I named the toy pony Marigold since my actual pony was named Marigold. I, um, wanted an actual pony for my family to enjoy, but it’s not safe for me to ride anymore because of the potential risks to my kidney, but I wanted her to have a piece of Carter family history and I wanted that for myself too because it allows me to keep a more pleasant piece of my past in my life. Anyway, Nathan, my point is that Rocket is not at all unusual or weird. It’s not unusual or wrong for you to have Rocket if he makes you feel safe and comfortable.”

Rena looked intrigued while Amy and Carter looked amused. Nathan, however, gave Carter a look, “You…had a freaking horse?” he asked in a confused voice. “Who…who can afford a horse?”

“Uh, the same guy who can buy the clinic land from your Uncle Dave and I, honey,” Amy spoke up gently. “Doctor Carter…he’s quite well off, but he doesn’t like to talk about it because that’s not what defines him. His hard work defines him. At least, that’s what he told me…”

Carter smiled at Amy before smiling at Nathan again, “Um, anyway, Marigold…my grandparents got her for me as sort of a living being to keep me company after my brother died and it was meant to be just a show pony, but I spent a lot of time with her…just taking care of it and confiding in her,” Carter explained in a kind voice. “Probably like you do Rocket.”

Nathan immediately grew somber, “Um, did you say your brother died?” he asked in a quieter tone, suddenly feeling uneasy enough to look down. “Was…was he sick and sad…like Lucas? And hurting himself?”

A silence filled the air and Carter and Rena both stilled while Amy and Luka immediately looked concerned, “Alex…Alex Taggart, he said the same thing to me at the Jumbo Mart, but…” Amy began anxiously. “Lucas told us he fell and caught himself…”

Nathan rolled his eyes and sighed irritably, “Lucas tried to make me promise not to say anything earlier when I was out of bed checking on him,” he explained with a sigh. “You and Luka were asleep, but Lucas told me the truth on his pad of paper and made me promise to keep quiet. He just wants to go home. I got annoyed by that and said I wasn’t gonna lie, so he told me to get the hell out. I was gonna go outside and go home to my bed and sleep where it was quiet, but that friend of Doug’s caught me and then Frank did. Check his pad of paper if you don’t believe me. It’s not like they change it out. I hate lying for him.”

“I believe you,” Amy replied softly, suddenly heartsick that she had bought Lucas’s lie so easilyand was suddenly angry at herself over her lack of awareness. “Look, Nathan, why don’t you talk to Rena for a bit? Your dad and I are gonna go upstairs and address what you told us. Okay? I love you.”

Nathan looked at Rena, “If you need to go talk to Lucas, I understand,” he spoke nervously, immediately clutching Rocket close while looking like a lost, scared little boy who just admitted to doing something bad. “I can…I can wait.”

“You’re important too, Nathan,” Rena replied gently as he took a seat by his bed. “And we already agreed that you and I would talk today, so we are going to talk.”

Amy immediately marched over to him and gently embraced him, which Nathan reluctantly accepted, “How in the hell can you be so calm right now, Mom?” he asked shakily. “You’re sick.”

“Because my battle with my illness is a battle I intend to win,” Amy replied softly. “Anyway, you do not need to worry about anyone but you, my love. After your appointment with Rena, Doctor Carter is going to help you with that hearing issue and then after school, I think your sisters and Joe might come by for a bit of a visit…with Rachel and Doctor Corday…”

Nathan sighed grimly, “God…I have a TBI, don’t I?” he asked grimly, frowning despite the fact that seeing his other family, Rachel, and Dr. Corday later was pleasant news. “Hearing loss…it can come from that and it…”

“Doesn’t make you any less lovable,” Luka cut in gently, giving him a gentle look. “Okay?”

Nathan sighed, but didn’t say anything, “We’ll be back,” Amy spoke gently, releasing him. “And we’re going to pull the curtain so you can have some privacy. Okay?”

Once Luka and Amy had gone and the curtain had been drawn, Carter and Rena sat, “So…I don’t exactly know how to talk to a Child Life Specialist,” Nathan spoke nervously, eyeing Rena like she was going to bite him while clinging to Rocket for dear life. “That’s what Grandpa Rocket said you were, Rena…”

Carter immediately realized that the anger and the over maturity he had seen from Nathan were his attempts to hide vulnerability, but he didn’t say anything because he wanted Rena and Nathan to be able to communicate with each other and to feel like they could do it safely.

Rena, meanwhile, nodded thoughtfully before eyeing the teddy that Nathan was holding, “Why don’t you start by telling me about your friend?” she suggested softly before offering Nathan a smile. “And just know that whatever we talk about will stay between you, me, and Doctor Carter. Okay?”

“My friend?” Nathan asked quietly, eyeing Rena like she was bonkers.

Rena nodded, “Your teddy…he’s your friend, right?” she replied softly. “You feel safe around him, you talk to him, and you trust him more than you do most others. That’s the definition of a friend.”

“Oh,” Nathan replied softly before he sighed tiredly. “Um, I sleep with Rocket most of the time in the room that I share with Lucas. Especially since I got stabbed. My grandpa got Rocket for me when I was little…”

Rena nodded and continued to listen thoughtfully as Nathan spoke, as did Carter.

“Doctor Malucci?”

Dave heard voices, but he couldn’t move or wake up. He didn’t even know exactly where he was.

The last thing he remembered was talking to Kerry, Edson, and Jing-Mei about what had happened to him as a child and about his subsequent visits with his father. His very uncomfortable visits with his father, who currently lived at Garden Vista in Chicago…

And now…he could hear voices. But why? Where were the voices coming from? And who did they belong to?

Was he with his father again? Was he at Garden Vista with his father? His father…a man who constantly wanted to remind him of ‘the good old days’ by constantly inviting him to ‘watch movies’ or ‘cuddle’ in his room after they shared meals together in the public dining area.

If it weren’t for Dale being there and telling the man not to get too close, Dave thought to himself, things would get very bad very fast, but…where was Dale now?

A hand suddenly came down on his chest and Dave tensed briefly, cringing at the touch before he realized it was a sternal rub, “Oww,” he whimpered in a faint voice. “What…?”

“Dave?” a familiar, loving, but worried voice filled the air. “Dave, can you hear me?”

Light suddenly flooded his eyes, and he jerked away from them briefly before his eyes popped open in pure fear. His gaze darted around as he tried to make sense of what was going on, but he couldn’t see anyone.

“Where…?” Dave whimpered in a faint, slightly terrified voice, wincing as he suddenly felt pain fill his chest. “I’m…I’m scared. My chest…it hurts. I…I can’t breathe…”

As Dave felt sweat engulf him, he was unaware of the fact that Jing-Mei was now awake and that she, Kerry, and Sam were now assessing him, all of them deeply concerned by his sudden show of concerning symptoms.

As much as Dave wanted to insist that he was fine and just needed to be left alone to rest, he was barely aware of anyone or anything around him except for his pain and the voices.

Kerry, meanwhile, looked at Jing-Mei, “Are you okay to walk a bit?” she asked worriedly.

Even though she knew Dave would throw a fit about it later, as he didn’t want her walking around and risking her health or the baby’s health, Jing-Mei nodded, “It could be a catatonic spell from talking about his father earlier,” she observed worriedly, frowning at the semi-conscious Dave. “Maybe he should be in the trauma room as a precaution. John and I share his medical power of attorney. Do you want me to get him?”

Kerry nodded, but before Jing-Mei could get to the door, Dave suddenly vomited over the side of the gurney, hitting everyone’s shoes. As he began to cough, his eyes opened, and he saw the vomit.

“What…what happened?” Dave asked in a confused, quiet voice, eyeing the mess on the floor.

Kerry and Sam exchanged a look, but Jing-Mei silently moved into the vomit and got into his line of view, “You’re okay,” she spoke softly, gently stroking his sweaty face with the sleeve of her sweater. “Okay?”

Dave froze, frowning at her, “You’re…on your feet,” he spoke worriedly. “The baby…”

“We’re both fine,” Jing-Mei responded patiently as if she had done this before. “I promise.”

Dave was still for a moment before he nodded, “I’m all sweaty,” he commented in a tired voice. “And I’m a little tired and…thirsty. Did…did I throw up?”

“Yeah, but it’s okay,” Jing-Mei replied gently, quickly kissing his face. “You’re okay. And you. I’m gonna move out of the way so Doctor Weaver and Sam can help you now, okay?”

Dave sighed tiredly, “Can you please get me something to drink?” he asked softly. “And you and the baby something to eat? You look like you could use a break.”

Jing-Mei nodded, “I love you,” she spoke softly before she moved. “I’ll be back.”

Exhaling softly, Dave looked up and right into the very concerned expressions of Kerry and Sam, “Hi Chief, hi Sam,” he spoke in a slightly quieter tone. “What…what happened?”

“That is what we’re going to figure out,” Kerry replied gently, offering Dave a kind look because she could tell he had no idea what happened. “Okay? Do you trust me and Sam to help you?”

Dave froze, “It…it happened again, didn’t it?” he asked worriedly, giving Kerry a nervous look. “An attack…”

Kerry frowned and Dave sighed grimly, “They don’t happen often,” he explained grimly, his face falling to the point where he couldn’t look Kerry or Sam in the eye. “Ever since I moved my dad to Chicago, I get these spells and the hypnotherapy Doctor Greene made me do…sort of…made them stop for a while, but the shooting…it.…woke them up. And I just sort of slip out of the world…usually at night. Jing-Mei’s the only one who knows. She…she knows what to do…but…it’s…it’s scary…”

Immediately, Sam tensed and her expression became sad because she understood, as she used to have those kind of spells due to memories she had of Steve’s abuse. Kerry, meanwhile, gently embraced the sad, sweaty Dave and simply held him, not caring that she was standing in his vomit.

“Shh,” Kerry spoke softly, suddenly feeling protective of him again. “It’ll be okay. We’ll help you.”

Even though he wasn’t sure how he felt about being hugged by Kerry, Dave didn’t protest nor did he pull away, as he wasn’t bothered by it. The hug made him feel safe and loved. And he struggled with feeling loved. He had the love of Jing-Mei and his son and his foster family and maybe Carter, but…there were also times that he felt like he was alone in a crowd mentally and emotionally…

The door suddenly opened, “Hey, Dave, can we run some tests on you now?” he suddenly heard Kerry ask in a gentle voice. “We’re going to take care of you. Just lie down and relax. Take a breath.”

Dave obeyed and tried not to feel scared even though he didn’t like the idea of ‘extra tests,’ as he was already struggling with losing his wedding day because of the pneumonia and his paralysis potentially being permanent and the idea of more tests…it was so much.

And he could not stop tears escaping from his tired eyes…

“…Peter! Doctor Edson!” Romano’s annoyed voice filled the air as Peter and Edson stepped off the elevator on to the Peds floor where Romano had commanded they meet after phoning them while they were at the health food restaurant. “It’s about time you two decided to get here! I have been waiting…”

Rolling his eyes, Peter ignored Romano’s rant and eyed Edson. The man was silently hugging himself and looking at the floor. He was not present at all, and Romano would definitely have something to say about it once he saw it.

Of course, Peter couldn’t blame Edson at all for being moody. The man had a mental and physical health conditions that had affected his wellness and Anspaugh had lowered the hammer quite severely instead of showing compassion. Edson had been terfed to the ER and now was facing further disciplinary hearing in January, one that had the potential to end quite badly.

Peter truly thought it was a load of crap that Edson was being put through further hell over the issue with Malucci, as everyone had bent over backwards to support Jeanie when she had faced health issues and the hospital had even accommodated Romano when it came to his. Was Edson truly unworthy of grace in the hospital’s eyes?

Edson’s comments and his behavior had probably been because of his hypoglycemia and Anspaugh wasn’t showing any compassion. Nor was Mark Greene. And yet…

“I think I might just quit,” Edson suddenly spoke quietly, his tone resigned. “And go…away.”

Peter froze and turned to face Edson just in time to see him sit on a row of plastic chairs near the elevator, remove a small locket from around his neck, and slip it into the pocket of his scrub pants while sporting an expression of utter despair on his face similar to the one that Gant used to wear shortly before his suicide.

“This…all this grief I’m getting from Mark Greene, from Anspaugh, from everyone…it’s overwhelming the hell out of me,” Edson continued, a tired sigh in his voice as he spoke while staring at the bag containing his blood sugar monitor. “I don’t have to put up with any of it, so I…”

Peter sighed, “You’re right, you don’t, so when we’re done talking to Romano, we’re going downstairs and we’re going to have a little chat with Mark about bullying in the workplace,” he replied firmly, giving the younger man a firm parental look.

Just then, the elevator dinged, and Peter frowned as Edson shrank against the chairs as if trying to make himself invisible to the world. Footsteps filled the air, but Peter didn’t turn around, as whoever it was didn’t need his attention and care as much as Edson clearly did.

“…Ah, Amy, Doctor Kovac, what brings you up here?” Peter suddenly heard Dr. Romano say in an unusually pleasant tone.

A sigh filled the air, “Is Lucas awake?” Amy’s voice filled the air in a concerned tone. “Nathan just told us some things that…that we need to talk to Lucas about. Do you want to be there when we do?”

“I just need to speak with Doctor Benton and Doctor Edson for a moment and then I will,” Dr. Romano’s voice spoke. “You look unusually…serious.”

Footsteps filled the air, “All right, Doctor Edson, let’s make this little intake interview brief, shall we?” Dr. Romano spoke in a parental tone.

“I’m facing a disciplinary committee in January, so what’s the point?” Edson spoke in a monotone voice before he could stop himself. “Me getting terfed to the ER was clearly Anspaugh’s idea of a joke…”

Dr. Romano froze, ready to rip into Edson for his attitude, but then Peter offered him the letter and Romano took it before moving down the hall with it.

A moment later, Romano returned with the open letter in hand, “Go back to work,” he ordered in an eerily quiet voice. “Come by my office at 3. Both of you. Peter, you’re in the ER til then. I don’t care what else you have planned for today…”

“I was at home hanging out with Reese and helping Jackie prep for Thanksgiving until you called me,” Peter replied simply. “I wasn’t even scheduled for today. I only work…”

Romano scoffed, “Whatever,” he replied irritably, annoyed by the babbling. “What took you so long to get over here anyway? Where were you?”

“I was given permission to drive Doctor Ross’s friend, Doctor Dremmer, over to his hotel in his rental car,” Edson spoke up nervously, suddenly looking up from his bag. “He wanted to set me up with one of his friends as a thank you for my kindness. We got to talking about the friend and even talking to the friend when I heard you were looking for me…”

Dr. Romano suddenly looked amused, as in all the years he had known Edson, the man had rarely dated and had not gone on a single date since Lucy Knight had been killed, “Who’s the girl?” he asked in an amused voice. “You haven’t dated since Lucy, so she must be something…”

“Maggie Doyle,” Edson replied in a quiet voice, silently praying that Romano would buy it. “Um, Doctor Dremmer met her at a medical conference and thought she might be a good match for me. He actually talked me into calling her and asking her out for Thanksgiving…”

Dr. Romano’s eyes widened in surprise, “Really?” he spoke in a tone of disbelief. “Maggie Doyle?”

Edson nodded nervously, not trusting himself to speak, “Well, I guess she finally grew out of that immature phase that made me have to initially give her a less than stellar review!” Dr. Romano replied in an amused tone, smirking at Edson like he was saying he could tell he was lying. “You know what, Doctor Edson? I think the ER usually has a very elaborate potluck on Thanksgiving. You should, um, bring her by, treat her to a free meal, and re-acquaint her with everyone. In fact, I think I’m actually working in the ER on Thanksgiving. In fact, I know I am, so I might…see you both there. It might be nice to see Doyle again. To see both of you. And celebrate your new…relationship. For now, get back to work. I’m going to go have a word with Donald about this letter. See you at 3. And keep a watch on your blood sugar like a good little boy so you don’t end up on a gurney. All right?”

Swallowing hard, Edson nodded, and Dr. Romano walked off into the elevator sporting a dominant smirk on his face. Only when he was gone did Edson sigh and allow a pained expression to fill his face, “Oh, my God, I’m officially in hell,” he breathed anxiously. “Romano…he doesn’t believe me.”

Peter sighed, his expression pained, “That cover story was Will’s idea,” Edson continued anxiously, his expression full of panic. “We were supposed to go out together with Maggie and Kim and they were supposed to be able to help us spend time together safely, but now…”

Exhaling irritably, Edson got up and swore loudly as he smacked the DOWN button on the elevator.

Peter and Edson didn’t speak as they got in the elevator and travelled down to the ER, but their mood suddenly shifted as soon as they got off the elevator and saw Haleh walking past them pushing an ECG machine.

“Haleh, do you need some help with that?” Peter called out in a concerned voice.

Haleh frowned at Peter, “If you and Doctor Edson aren’t busy, we could use some help running tests on Doctor Malucci,” she explained in a grim tone. “He’s having trouble…”

Peter’s face filled concern and Edson’s face fell, both of them not hesitating to follow Haleh, “Did you tell John?” Edson asked quietly as they walked with Haleh. “Dave and John are brothers. John should know that something’s wrong…”

“…What else would you like to know?” Nathan asked in a sleepy voice as he gazed at Rena from his resting position. “My mom, Lucas, Erinne, and Katie know about Rocket, as do Uncle Dave and Daniel, and they all know not to bother me about him or to touch him. I just told Luka about Rocket and I think he’s cool with the idea, but…I’m not sure…and Joe doesn’t go in my room. We’re still getting to know each other, though, Joe and I. And obviously…the twins…they don’t know since they’re still in the NICU. I haven’t met them yet cause I’m still too unwell and they’re on...they’re on lockdown…”

Rena, however, looked thoughtful, “You’re getting sleepy, Nathan, so how about we have another chat later or even tomorrow?” she suggested gently. “We’ve covered a lot of ground today. I’ve gotten to know a lot about you and your family. And you’ve shared really well today, but it’s time for you to decompress now, okay?”

“Any homework?” Nathan asked softly as he began to fight to stay awake. “Um, when…when Lucas was at the treatment center, Doctor Gallant…he was always giving Lucas homework…”

Rena smiled, “Take care of yourself,” she replied gently. “Get plenty of rest. And work on giving yourself grace and kindness even when it seems hard for you to do. I’ll email your other homework to your doctor, and he will give it to you when he thinks you’re up for it. Okay? Nice to meet you.”

“Nice to meet you,” Nathan replied in a sleepy voice, exhaling tiredly as he closed his eyes. “Holy crap, I’m tired.”

Carter silently and gently put an oxygen tube on Nathan’s face, which Nathan didn’t fight. Rena smiled at Carter before leaving and he returned the smile.

As Carter drew the privacy curtain back, which included a stand to stretch, he suddenly noticed a slightly anxious looking Jing-Mei sitting at the desk on the phone while Haleh, Peter, and Edson went towards Exam One…

With an ECG machine…

Carter’s face fell and his heart dropped. Dave.

As much as he wanted to rush in and help Dave, however, Carter knew he had a responsibility to look after his patient, who was currently Nathan. And Nathan was currently asleep and looking spent as hell.

Before Carter knew what was happening, Jing-Mei was coming over to him and she paused at seeing Nathan, “Is he asleep?” she asked softly, offering him a worried look. “I need to talk to you.”

Carter eyed Nathan worriedly, “One can never tell,” he admitted softly. “He, um, has a talent for eavesdropping. What is it? I saw an ECG machine…”

Jing-Mei nodded and sighed. “I tried to call your mom about it, but she wouldn’t talk to me,” she explained grimly. “She waned to go out shopping for the nursery and said your dad was spending time with Daniel doing holiday crafts…”

“Do you want me to call Abby?” Carter asked worriedly. “I need to stay with Nathan. He’s my patient. I’m officially on duty…”

Jing-Mei gave him a look, “Dave made both of us his medical power of attorney, John,” she stated in a tired tone. “We need to have a conversation.”

“What exactly happened?” Carter asked in a quiet, but concerned tone.

Jing-Mei frowned, “Brief catatonic spell, delayed response to sternal rub, followed by vomiting, confusion, chest pain, and shortness of breath,” she explained grimly. “Weaver ordered a portable x-ray, ECG, vitals, and labs. Dave told me to go relax, but…I think he’s scared and doesn’t want me to help him this time. He’s probably scared of stressing the baby and I out.”

Carter swore quietly, “This isn’t a new thing, this catatonic stuff… is it?” he asked quietly, giving her a very serious look. “You said this time, Deb…”

“No,” Jing-Mei replied in a grim tone, shaking her head. “When I started living with them, I helped him through a couple. We kept it to ourselves, though, because he was scared…”

Carter sighed grimly as a pained whimper suddenly filled the air. He turned just in time to see Nathan press his good hand over his ear and wince while Rocket lay on his chest, “I called for an ENT consult earlier, but one has yet to show up…” he muttered irritably.

“Did you want me to just help you take him up there?” Jing-Mei offered softly. “I have time and I’d rather be doing something than just be wandering around pissed off at your mother.”

A sigh filled the air, “Where am I going?” Nathan’s voice spoke in a groggy tone. “I…I can sort of read your lips, so I know I’m going somewhere. Are they putting me in Psych for having a teddy bear or til I give my DNA?”

Shaking his head no, Carter looked at Nathan, as did Jing-Mei, “We didn’t even get to talking about Doug cause I got tired,” Nathan spoke with a sigh, suddenly looking sad. “I meant to. I just got tired. I used a lot of energy today. And I just…I can’t even make myself eat to get energy.”

“You know what, Nathan?” Jing-Mei spoke up in a kind voice. “Would you like me to come with you and Doctor Carter? We can go take care of you and then…”

Nathan studied Jing-Mei, “You’re, um, Uncle Dave’s…girlfriend, right?” he questioned softly, giving her a look as if he was trying to gather facts in his mind. “How…how are you?”

Carter stilled at the obvious memory issues, immediately realizing on that Nathan might very well have some sort of brain injury due to past abuse or even from his recent hostage situation, as Nathan, along with the rest of his family knew all about Dave and Jing-Mei’s engagement and also about how they were expecting a baby.

 Instead of showing his concern openly, however, Carter quickly went in search of a wheelchair.

Jing-Mei, meanwhile, simply smiled and elected to offer Nathan gentle grace, “I’m fine,” she replied gently before she noticed the teddy on his chest. “That’s a nice-looking friend you have there…”

Nathan smiled at that even though he was in pain, “Okay, we have a chair,” Carter suddenly spoke up as he returned with a wheelchair. “How about we go upstairs?”

“Can you hear what they’re saying over there?” Doug asked in a groggy voice as he looked over at Carol tiredly. “I’m still a little groggy from everything and I couldn’t hear everything through the curtains. I thought I heard Nathan talking to a Child Life Specialist…”

Carol frowned at Doug, “It was probably to help him with whatever he went through,” she replied in a patient voice. “Mark said he was tortured…”

Doug sighed anxiously, his expression full of concern, “He’s mine,” he spoke in a tired voice. “Except for a few bits where he looks like Amy, he has a lot of me in him. I don’t need a DNA test to tell me that, Carol. I can just tell. I just don’t know if he’ll want me in his life or what I can give him. Or if his mother will even want us to get to know each other. I…I’m also afraid. Like…that party…I have no memories of it except Elton giving me a beer and gently telling me to loosen up. Elton was older, but I trusted him. I was somewhat…lonely…back then and sought friendship wherever I could find it, even if it was problematic. I heard I had a son about nine or ten months after that party, but…I…I wasn’t sure if I wanted to know or find him at that point, though, because I wasn’t still feeling good about what happened. I was still meeting weekly with Anspaugh in secret, but then he got busy with his son being sick and our meetings sort of petered off…”

Carol frowned and Doug sighed, “It’s probably why I screwed things up with you the first time, actually, now that I think about it,” he admitted tiredly, gazing sadly at her. “Guys…they don’t like to talk about non-consensual experiences, especially once they can’t remember due to being…”

Carol responded to that comment by gently stroking his face, “Give yourself some grace, Doug,” she replied softly, truly hating how broken Doug seemed over having to relive his experience. “Please?”

“Um, did you get something to eat?” Doug asked nervously, uncomfy at Carol’s coddling so much so that he pulled out of reach. “I have no idea what time it is or how long you’ve been here…”

Footsteps suddenly filled the air, and Mark poked his head through the curtain, “Feeling hungry?” he asked in a kind voice. “I wandered over to the Jumbo Mart and got us all something to eat. I thought we might all have lunch together…like old times.”

Doug raised an eyebrow and gave Carol a look, but Carol smirked, “We talked while you were sleeping,” she admitted gently, hoping that Doug and Mark would give each other the gift of grace as she had seen fit to give Mark some grace. “I thought we could use some time together.”

“Um…what…what’s in the drink you got me?” Doug asked nervously, suddenly feeling and looking uneasy. “I don’t…ever since you called me about the fiasco 18 years ago, I haven’t let anyone get me drinks…anywhere…”

Carol suddenly looked grim, and Mark moved into the curtain carrying a bag, a bottle of water, and a container of chicken soup and immediately showed the clear container of chicken broth and the sealed bottled water, “I watched them ladle the soup into the container and never had my eyes off it once,” Mark replied gently. “I figured you might be worried about that, so I was careful. Okay?”

Tears filled Doug’s eyes, “I’m sorry,” he spoke shakily. “This…all of this…it’s been hell for me. I’ve been trying to work through it with Will, but…it’s been so difficult. It’s been hard to just be present at work and present at home. Carol’s noticed something’s off, the girls know something is off, and Amy…my God…she’s mad as hell. She acted like I’m going to attack her and hurt Nathan when I simply wanted to know what was happening with a kid that might be my son. I didn’t ask for what happened to us, and I don’t want to hurt anyone. Does she understand that?”

Mark exhaled softly as he briefly debated whether or not to share about Amy’s mounting issues with Doug, as he suspected that Amy’sTBI, her current load with her struggling family, Dave’s health, her own cancer battle, and the whole trauma that Elton had put her and Doug through was the reason Amy had gone off on Doug like she had. Mark knew Amy was overwhelmed by her personal issues, and he was grateful that she was also willing to help Ray finish medical school

As much as he wanted to clear up Doug’s distress, however, Mark knew he absolutely could not go gossiping about Amy because it was not his place. Amy had a right to her privacy, and she had made it clear that she didn’t want to talk to Doug at the moment. He couldn’t and wouldn’t disrespect her wishes.

What Mark could do, though, was talk to Amy playing his supervisor card and gently encourage her to talk to Doug herself. If Nathan was Doug and Amy’s son, the two would eventually need to talk about it and him, but Mark knew all he could do was be a support to both of them separately til they decided they were ready and willing to talk to each other.

All of a sudden, Doug’s stomach let out a tiny growl and Mark took the opportunity to sit and pass the bag to Carol to rummage through before he turned his attention to Doug with the soup.

“I promise the soup is completely safe,” Mark spoke in a kind voice, offering a kind look to Doug.

Doug hesitated briefly before he nodded that he was at least open to giving the soup a try and Mark proceeded to get things in place to feed his friend.

Mark knew that he and Doug and even Carol had a lot to talk about, including about how to try and salvage their fractured friendship, but the heavier conversations could wait until later…when Doug was feeling better.

For the moment, Mark was simply grateful for the fact that Doug was willing to have him around again after their disastrous fight on the phone. Mark was hopeful that Doug would eventually be able to forgive him for his cruelty too.

Chapter Text

“What the hell’s going on in here?” Carter heard a stern, but familiar voice fill the air as he and Jing-Mei stood in the MRI lab with Nathan sitting in his wheelchair, watching as a tech prepped the tube with a pillow and other things. “Doctor Carter, Doctor Chen…”

Nathan immediately swore at the noise and hunched over pressing his hand over his ear as he pressed his body over Rocket, “Oh, my God,” he hissed irritably. “Whoever’s being so noisy, tell them to shut it. I’ve got a headache.”

Dr. Romano, who had been called by the tech to come to Radiology to authorize the MRI that Carter was demanding because Nathan was a minor and needed consent from a parent or an authorized person to undergo such a test, suddenly stilled at that comment, “Nathan…he’s always known my voice,” he spoke in a confused tone. “This…is this some kind of a sick prank?”

Carter shook his head no, “He’s been experiencing issues with his hearing, suffered ear pain, had memory lapses, and is extremely fatigued,” he replied grimly, but in a quieter tone. “I also tried to take him to ENT, but…they weren’t so nice about us just barging in there…”

A pained expression filled Dr. Romano’s face, “Were there any indicators during his appointment with Rena Trujillo?” he asked worriedly. “Amy said you were there during that…”

“Nathan was tired the entire time and sometimes looked down at Rocket and closed his eyes while he was talking,” Carter explained. “I think Rena just thought he was tired, but I think Nathan was fighting through headaches and didn’t want to say anything. Haleh also mentioned that he had an unwell stomach…but…I’m not sure about the story behind that…”

Dr. Romano groaned quietly, his expression pained, “How did you get here so fast anyway?” Carter asked nervously.

“Uh, because Nathan is a minor and you need approval from his parents or from me to run tests like this on him,” Dr. Romano replied in a pissed off tone, shooting Carter a glare. “It’s something his mother and I insisted upon as part of the requirements we laid down for when he got a job here. Any time any tests are run on him or any time he gets hurt, all departments in the hospital know to tell us. Donald agreed on that condition, as did Nathan, but Nathan obviously forgot…or his brain did. What, did you not bother to check the computer before you brought him up here?”

Carter scoffed, “I just got hired on here again today,” he replied softly. “By Anspaugh. Luka…Luka is apparently taking time off between Thanksgiving and Christmas. He gave his hours to Abby and I.”

Dr. Romano nodded, “He mentioned to Amy and I that he was going to do that, and I think, given what’s going on right now, it’s a very smart idea,” he commented softly, his expression suddenly solemn. “And to answer your question, I was trying to get a meeting with Donald to discuss a Personnel matter, but then I got the call from the tech and…I told Donald we could talk later.”

“You know, Doctor Romano, you don’t have to be here if you have work to do,” Carter replied in a quiet voice, giving the man a worried look. “All I need is your consent. Nathan…he knows…”

Dr. Romano sighed, “You think I give a crap about my work when my family is hurting, Doctor Carter?” he asked in a cold voice, glaring daggers at Carter. “I love my whole family, especially my oldest grandson. Nathan is my namesake, and he has been through more in his 17 years than most people go through in their entire…”

“Grandpa Rocket?” a quiet voice suddenly spoke. “Um…what are you doing here?”

Dr. Romano quickly looked away from Carter just in time to see Nathan look towards them sporting an expression of child-like confusion on his face. Carter immediately knew that Nathan was struggling again, and Dr. Romano was absolutely horrified by it, but they both simply decided to remain calm for his sake.

“Doctor Carter invited me here to support you,” Dr. Romano lied smoothly, offering Nathan a smile. “He thought you might feel better with family here and I was nearby…”

“Oh,” Nathan replied softly as he looked down at the teddy he was holding in his lap. “Um, did he tell you I talked with that therapist? I got tired, so…we didn’t talk for very long…”

Dr. Romano gently embraced Nathan from behind and gently planted a kiss atop his head, “Rome wasn’t built in a day, kid,” he replied gently. “You want me to hold Rocket and your other stuff while you’re in the tube?”

“Yeah,” Nathan replied softly, suddenly looking less nervous. “Thanks.”

Dr. Romano looked at the tech, “We can do this at any time,” the tech replied softly.

“All right, kiddo, let’s have the stuff,” Dr. Romano spoke gently. “Glasses, hoodie, Rocket, shoes, sling, everything that might interfere with the scan. I will hold Rocket and the hoodie personally. And then Doctor Carter and the tech will help you lie in the tube. I can’t because of hospital regulations and Doctor Chen can’t because she’s pregnant…”

Nathan quietly surrendered his problematic items and then let the tech and Carter help him lie down in the tube, “This is really gonna screw with the test I wanna take in the spring, isn’t it?” Nathan grumbled in a pained voice. “My mom had to fight like hell to do everything she did with her TBI, but I don’t even wanna be a doctor. I could barely get through high school. I sure as hell don’t wanna go to med-school. I just wanna do the LPN test and be done. But would they even accept a nurse with a TBI anywhere in Chicago? I don’t plan to leave my family…especially after being kidnapped…”

“Let’s focus on one thing at a time,” Dr. Romano spoke gently, but firmly as he set Nathan’s things inside the computer room and came back to the tube. “Shall we? You doing good, kid? You look a little tired.”

Nathan sighed, “I just want it done,” he replied softly. “Please.”

Nodding, Dr. Romano gently stroked Nathan’s hair, “Okay,” he spoke gently. “We’ll get it done.”

“…From this, it seems like you just might have had an anxiety attack, but I want to do it again later,” Kerry spoke in a kind voice, offering a motherly look to Dave. “Okay? We’ll also assign Doctor Edson to sit with you for a while, as that seemed to work before in keeping you calm. I’ll test the blood we took and get a portable chest x-ray too. For now, just try and rest til we can get the portable here…”

Dave nodded, “Sounds good, Chief,” he replied tiredly. “Um…I, um, wanna talk with Doctor Edson anyway, so it’s good he’ll be here.”

Peter, who had lingered quietly and protectively while Kerry, Edson, Haleh, and Sam had put Dave through the ECG and bloodwork, raised an eyebrow at that, “I think I’ll get a soda,” he commented softly, fully intending to get it and double back in short order.

Sam swiftly left with the bloodwork and the lab orders, but she intended on coming back and talking to Dave as a friend, or at least trying to, as she understood what he was struggling with and wanted to let him know he wasn’t alone. Haleh, meanwhile, went off to check on how Carter was doing with Nathan, as she felt protective of Nathan and wanted to help him however she could given what he had been through.

Finally, Kerry left to add the ECG results to Dave’s file and to check on how long the portable x-ray would take, leaving Edson and Dave alone. Edson silently took a seat at Dave’s bedside, deeply curious and concerned as to why Dave wanted to talk to him alone.

Dave gave Edson a look, “I’m literally missing pieces of what’s happened to me today, but I think…I think I had one of those spells again,” Dave commented in a quiet, somber tone. “Maybe more than one. I’m not sure. And I think it’s because I told Jing-Mei and Chief about my dad. Um…I know this might piss you off, but…I…I don’t want you and John going over there on Thanksgiving. To see my dad.”

Edson paused and Dave sighed, “I think that’s why I had those spells today,” Dave continued in a grim tone, his expression pained as he spoke. “I think it’s just better for me to stay away from the topic altogether and for you and John to stay away from my dad. I haven’t felt good since John said he was going to go over there and see him…but I’m too much of a coward to tell John how I feel. I’m just going to call Garden Vista and tell them that nobody’s going to come to see my dad on Thanksgiving. I know arrangements were made…”

As Dave reached for his phone, however, Edson grabbed it off the portable tray and held it out of Dave’s reach, “I can make the call for you,” he offered in a reassuring tone. “You look tired, and a nap would probably do you some good. I can also check on where your lunch is at. After you sleep and have lunch, why don’t we do some more leg exercises?”

Dave was silent for a moment before he nodded, “Thanks,” he replied in a tired voice. “I appreciate you having my back like you always have since we became friends.”

“Always,” Edson replied even though he wasn’t sure where he was going to be in January because he was more than 90% sure that the disciplinary hearing was going to end badly for him.

As Dave fell asleep, Edson got up and moved out into the hall while finding the private number of Dave’s father in his phone and hitting DIAL.

“Hello?” a quiet, slightly sleepy tone suddenly filled the phone after the first ring. “Is that you, Dave? I was…I was just resting up for our little…Thanksgiving visit. Maybe…maybe we could have dinner in my room and cuddle…while we watch a movie? I’ve always…always…enjoyed…cuddling…with you…”

Edson paused, suddenly unsure of what to say because he suddenly felt sick at Tony’s inappropriate comments, “Um, hi there Tony Malucci,” he finally replied. “This isn’t Dave. I’m one of Dave’s colleagues, Dale. He’s actually working right now, and I grabbed his phone by accident when I went on my break. He actually has to work on Thanksgiving too, but he asked me to spend some time with you since I’m going to be at your spot visiting my parents anyway. We can sit in the dining room and have lunch together after I visit my parents, maybe? And I can read to you for a bit?”

“Oh,” Tony’s sleepy-sounding voice suddenly filled the phone. “Dale…have…have I met you before? Your voice seems familiar…”

There was a pause, followed by the sound of a door closing, “Dale Edson,” Tony’s voice suddenly spoke in a darker, slightly slurred tone. “I know perfectly well who you are. You’re the overprotective little bastard who insists on being my son’s shadow every time he comes to visit me So…Dave has to work Thanksgiving and you’re coming alone? The question is, though, why are you really coming here and why do you come with Dave every time he comes here? I, um, don’t know of any Edsons who live here. And I know everyone who lives here. Perhaps, dear Dale, you and I should get to know each other a little better too? Would you be up for some…private time…with me? You seem very obsessed with coming by all of the time, so…I’m interested in getting to know you…better.”

“Enough,” Edson replied firmly, scowling at the phone because he was disgusted and he was also scared about Tony Malucci’s attempt to intimidate and threaten him. “I’ll see them…and you...on Thanksgiving.”

Before Tony could reply, Edson ended the call and silently returned to the room, unaware that Peter had been returning to Dave’s room with drinks from the vending machine for himself, Edson, and Dave, and had overheard the entire conversation, including Edson’s lies. He had also heard Edson say he was going to visit Tony Malucci alone on Thanksgiving…

As Peter moved towards Exam One to talk to Edson about what he had overheard, however, he suddenly heard wheels and footsteps behind him. He turned just in time to see Carter wheel an exhausted looking Nathan towards the curtain area while Dr. Romano and Jing-Mei walked behind them.

“…Hi there,” Peter heard Haleh say softly. “Where have you been?”

Soft talking filled the air, “You can rest, but you’re also gonna eat everything on that tray and I don’t care if it takes you til suppertime,” Dr. Romano suddenly spoke sternly above the softer voices. “And I’m going to sit with you and feed you…”

Peter wandered over to the voices just in time to see Dr. Romano wrap an oversized hoodie bearing a Grenada medical school logo around Nathan’s shoulders while Nathan lay on a gurney with his head resting securely on a clean pillow, “Where’s Rocket?” Nathan asked in a tired voice, suddenly looking like the owner of a broken soul and sporting a scared expression on his face.

“He’s right here,” Dr. Romano spoke in an unusually gentle voice as he rested the teddy in Nathan’s good arm. “You just stay there and lay as still as possible for a while and cuddle him. I’ll help you eat. Okay? You’re safe here.”

Peter paused at that, completely thrown off by Romano’s unusual kindness, but kept quiet and out of sight while Dr. Romano covered Nathan with his blanket and purposely ignored the looks he was getting from Carter, Jing-Mei, and Haleh, all of whom were shocked by  Romano’s unusually compassionate behavior.

Once Nathan was in bed, Dr. Romano immediately drew the privacy curtain around the bed, “You don’t need an audience,” Dr. Romano spoke in a protective tone.

Jing-Mei began to wander at that, wanting to get a soda before going back to Exam One.

“…You’ll be getting your stuff brought to you later,” Dr. Romano’s voice suddenly spoke again in a softer, slightly more somber tone. “Lucas admitted to hurting himself. He can’t talk right now, but he confirmed it with his pad of paper, so your parents are gonna meet with Psych and they’re gonna talk about a hold. For tonight, though, Lucas is gonna stay where he’s at, but he is currently under sedation and not allowed any visitors but your mom and grandpa for some very inappropriate behavior he engaged in while your parents and Peds staff were around…”

Carter froze at that, his expression suddenly very somber, which is something Peter noticed.

“Oh, I’d live in a box on the street if it meant I saved his life,” Nathan replied in a tired voice. “Let him hate me. I’ll…I’ll figure something out…”

A scoff filled the air, “Well, County’s fresh out of boxes, kiddo, so you can stay here for tonight and we’ll get you a new room tomorrow,” Dr. Romano replied gently. “You’re not gonna be out til after Thanksgiving, so you need to be somewhere safe…”

Carter immediately made a beeline for the doors, as he truly felt bad that Nathan was going through so much and wanted to get him a little treat from the Jumbo Mart in an attempt to cheer him up. Peter quickly followed him, fully intending to tell Carter about the phone call he had heard between Tony Malucci and Edson and what Edson’s current plans were for Thanksgiving.

A moment later, the curtain was pulled by Haleh, who had retrieved a gingerale for Nathan, “Doctor Romano, do you mind if Nathan has this?” she asked softly, showing the gingerale.

“If he eats, he may have it to wash his food down,” Dr. Romano replied in a quiet, but firm tone, giving his eldest a grandson a look that he had better behave himself. “What do you say to Haleh?”

Nathan gazed at Haleh tiredly, “Thank you, Haleh,” he spoke softly. “I appreciate it.”

“Okay,” Dr. Romano cut in firmly. “Time to stop talking and focus your energy on eating.”

“What do you think Nathan might want to eat?” Carter asked in a casual fatherly tone, his eyes on the shelves as he strolled through the Jumbo-Mart. “He was so quiet during the MRI and then I overheard the crap about Lucas hurting himself and threatening him. God, I feel so bad for him.”

Peter sighed, “Maybe a smoothie or pudding or something simple,” he replied patiently, not really paying attention. “Nathan shouldn’t have lots of junk since he’s in the hospital, but a smoothie or pudding or something like it would probably be fine. Carter, we need to talk about a phone call I heard between Doctor Edson and Tony Malucci...”

Carter turned to frown at Peter, “Dale was talking to Tony Malucci on the phone about meeting him for Thanksgiving alone,” Peter stated in a concerned voice. “He also lied to Tony about Dave needing to work. I don’t think Dave knows about the conversation. I also have a feeling that Edson…was purposely trying to hide it from him. I overheard it, though, so I’m telling you.”

“Dale and I were supposed to go over there together,” Carter replied in a confused voice, frowning.

Peter frowned, “You might want to talk to him,” he spoke softly. “After you get Nathan his snacks.”

Ultimately, Carter bought a large strawberry smoothie, some pudding, and a few books and magazines for Nathan before returning to the ER with Peter. Instead of going back to Nathan straightaway, Carter swung by Exam One with Peter at his heels and immediately paused just out of sight at hearing voices.

“…I just couldn’t bring myself to stay asleep and end up in another spell, so I appreciate you being willing to help me stay awake,” Dave’s tired voice filled the air. “Are…are you working on my legs?”

At that, Carter moved slightly so he could see into the room, but kept himself just out of view. He was surprised and pleased to see Edson putting Dave’s legs through exercises, exercises that had happened every day even if Dave hadn’t been conscious, “…Yep, I am,” Edson replied in a patient voice. “I know you’re losing hope, but…there might be a miracle out there. Somewhere. The important thing is that we keep hope alive…”

Swallowing hard, Carter silently turned and moved away and back towards Nathan’s bed with the bag of stuff. Before he could speak, however, footsteps suddenly filled the air.

“Doctor Romano, Officer Grabarsky is here with your granddaughters,” Frank suddenly called out in a firm tone.

Carter turned and froze when he saw a worried looking Frank and Officer Grabarsky lingering nearby at the desk with Erinn and Katie, who both had their backpacks, in tow. Dr. Romano’s eyes widened, as did Nathan’s, “Nathan!” Katie cried anxiously as she spotted Nathan and ran over to his bed. “You’re alive!”

“Um, yeah, I’m alive,” Nathan replied in a tired voice, eyeing Katie worriedly. “What…?”

Dr. Romano quickly got up from beside Nathan’s bed and marched over to Erinn, “Katie had a nap at noon recess, and she had a bad dream that Nathan was dead,” Erinn explained before Dr. Romano could ask. “She kept crying to me that he was laying in blood at home…”

Dr. Romano immediately swore under his breath, quickly realizing why Katie was upset, as Nathan and Katie had been together at home when Katie had been kidnapped by Elton and taken to Africa. Katie had also seen Nathan get stabbedand she was probably just now processing everything.

“We, um, took the bus to the stop near here cause there’s a stop near the school,” Erinn continued softly. “I know I should have asked, but she was scared, and she wanted to go home where nobody is. I got her on the bus to come here cause she wasn’t okay. Joe’s still at school. We’re always told if we’re not feeling okay, we should go to the hospital, right? We were trying to walk here when the police guy found us…”

Dr. Romano was silent for a moment before nodding, “Hey, bug, you wanna come up here and cuddle with me?” he suddenly heard Nathan suggest softly. “Like we do when we’re scared?”

Carter immediately moved to the gurney when he saw Katie nod nervously, “Hey, Katie, do you remember me?” he asked gently. “I’m Doctor Carter. Do you want me to help you get on the gurney so you and your brother can cuddle?”

Again, Katie nodded and so Carter moved Rocket to Nathan’s other shoulder before settling Katie on the gurney next to Nathan and putting her bag under the bed. Nathan immediately slipped his good arm around her and offered a small smile when Katie immediately cuddled against him.

Before Carter could speak more, Dr. Romano came over with Erinn, “Hey, Grandpa, can I just take that test already and be done with it?” Nathan suddenly spoke, frowning at him. “The DNA thing? I don’t need some shrink or other adults to tell me how to feel about the situation. It is what it is. I’ve dealt with much worse than this whole crap with Doug Ross and I’m still alive. Can we just get it done? Please?”

“I’ll talk to your parents about it when I tell them about your sisters,” Dr. Romano replied in a patient voice, nodding because Nathan had given perfectly valid reasons for wanting to do the DNA test. “In the meantime, Doctor Carter and Doctor Benton are going to hang out with you three so I can go talk with your parents. All right? Stay here and stay out of trouble.”

Realizing he had just been voluntold as a babysitter, Peter sighed and silently approached the bed as Carter sat in the chair he had occupied previously and put the bag from the Jumbo Mart on his lap. While Grabarsky and Romano left, Peter found another chair, set it close Nathan, and offered it to Erinn. Erinn sat and Nathan immediately offered her his hand, which she took without hesitation.

Carter, meanwhile, dug into the bag of stuff, pulled out a book that looked child-friendly, and began to read aloud. All eyes immediately went to him, but Carter didn’t care and instead continued reading.

“What in the hell are we supposed to do when Lucas is ready to come home?” Amy asked in an exasperated voice, glaring daggers at Luka as she set Nathan’s laptop and other personal stuff in a box that had been provided by Peds while a sedated Lucas slept in a bed nearby. “His and Nathan’s room has already been set up at home! What if Lucas is still of a mind where he wants to break Nathan’s stuff or beat him up?! It wouldn’t be safe…!”

Luka paused, “They’ll work it out,” he reasoned in a quiet, gentle tone. “Lucas…he’s not well right now, Amy. Him and Nathan will be able to talk later on…”

“And so Peds’s solution to the problem is to drug Lucas, make Nathan stay in the ER until they find him another room, and put Lucas on an involuntary Psych hold and in restraints like he’s some sort of criminal?!” Amy yelled, glaring at him. “They could have found Nathan another room today, but…”

Luka sighed tiredly, “Peds is understaffed due to the holidays, and they also told us they think Nathan will listen to the people in the ER better,” he explained tiredly. “I’d rather Nathan just be at home. I’d rather all of them, including Michael and Abigail, just be at home…”

“Well, so would I, Luka,” Amy replied irritably before she sighed and offered him an apologetic look. “I’m sorry. I’m tired. I should probably nap. God knows I need one, but I need to regulate my sleep so I can get my body used to working Ray’s schedule alongside him.”

Luka frowned, but instead of arguing back, he simply took the box from her and helped her sit on the couch in the room, setting the box aside before he simply put an arm around her and gently pulled her close to him. Amy exhaled softly and leaned into his warmth, which made him smile.

“When’s your next chemo?” Luka asked softly. “I’ll try and be here for it if I can.”

Amy sighed, “Day after Thanksgiving,” she replied softly. “I’ll have it while I supervise Ray and Mark will supervise both of us. It’s all been arranged.”

Luka sighed tiredly, “What are we doing for Thanksgiving, anyway?” he asked tiredly. “We haven’t planned anything. We’ve all been so busy since Halloween that Thanksgiving sort of got forgotten about…”

“I have no idea,” Amy replied in a tired voice, offering him a tired look. “Maybe we should just spend the holiday being grateful all of our family is alive, even if not all of them are well? And just be here with Nathan…and if Lucas will see us, we can also sit with him for a bit too? He seemed pretty angry earlier. By the way, did he get you when he was trying to hit you?”

Luka shook his head no, “He was tired, angry, and too disoriented by anger to aim properly,” he replied softly. “I really don’t think he means any of this behavior. He’s not well inside. That’s what I think…”

Footsteps suddenly filled the air and Amy frowned when she saw her father wander into the room with Officer Grabarsky at his heels, “Did Peds call the police on Lucas because he tried to hit you, Luka?” Amy asked irritably, frowning.

“I hope not,” Luka muttered worriedly as he frowned at Dr. Romano and Officer Grabarsky. “Um, what’s this about? Is this about Lucas’s meltdown? I’m not pressing charges. He didn’t hurt me.”

Officer Grabarsky shook his head no, “I found your girls, Erinn and Katie, trying to get here from a bus stop near here,” he replied in a concerned voice. “Apparently, Katie had a problem at school…”

Amy looked horrified and immediately moved to get up, but Luka stopped her and tucked the now full box under his arm, “You stay here and have a rest,” he spoke softly. “Like you were just talking about doing. My leave can start a bit early.”

“Are you sure?” Amy asked in a tired voice, frowning. “If it’s too much…”

Luka responded by releasing her and planting a kiss on her forehead, “Never,” he replied softly. “Please rest. I’ll handle the situation. Okay? I love you.”

“Love you too,” Amy replied softly, sighing as she laid back. “Send me a text when you get down there and know what’s up.”

Nodding, Luka left the room and Grabarsky followed him, determined to make sure things were sorted before he left.

Dr. Romano, meanwhile, plopped down on the couch next to her and slipped a fatherly arm around her, “Lie down,” Dr. Romano ordered in a fatherly tone. “You definitely look like you need a rest.”

Amy obeyed, “You want to listen to your mom’s playlist while you nap?” Dr. Romano asked quietly as he reached into the pocket of his white coat and extracted a small iPod. “I recently copied her songs from the CD she left us to an iPod that I meant to give you when you first got diagnosed, but…everything was kinda hell then. If you want, we can even share the earbuds and just breathe.”

“That sounds like a plan,” Amy replied softly, sighing. “It’s been a while since we hung out together, Dad. I miss you.”

Dr. Romano smiled at that comment and silently arranged the earbuds so they were each wearing one. He then turned the iPod on and went quiet while music filled both of their ears, music that Amy’s mother, Sarah, had used to get her through the dark days of the illness that she had ultimately lost her battle with.

As Dr. Romano sat there listening to the music and gently holding the joy he and Sarah had created together, however, he thought about how important it was to keep hope alive that Amy would be able to achieve what Sarah hadn’t been able to: remission and survival.

Exhaling softly, Dr. Romano closed his eyes to rest and allowed himself a moment to cling to hope.

“…If we just push this gurney next to your brother like this, you can all rest together,” Luka heard a gentle voice say as he followed Grabarsky into the ER. “Do you want anything to eat or…?”

A sigh filled the air, “No, thanks,” Erinn’s quiet voice spoke. “I’m tired from the walk from school.”

Deciding not to be mad about Erinn and Katie’s trip from school and simply talk to them about it in a calm gentle manner because he didn’t feel there was a point in getting mad at them, Luka silently composed himself as he made his way to the curtain area. He froze when he saw that Nathan was laying awake on a gurney with Katie cuddled up next to him asleep on one side while Erinn was laying on a gurney next to him on the other side looking ready to nap while Kerry watched her.

Carter, meanwhile, was helping Nathan drink a smoothie from a plastic container while Rocket lay on Nathan’s chest. Peter sat nearby, silently watching all of this go down and holding a Jumbo Mart bag in his lap.

“Hello,” Luka spoke calmly, offering a kind look to everyone there. “Um…”

Nathan blinked and promptly spat the smoothie straw out and Erinn gazed at Luka worriedly, “Um, Katie…she was dreaming Nathan was dead during her nap at lunch recess, so I brought her here,” Erinn explained softly.

Luka stilled at that, realizing that Katie was beginning to process what happened prior to being kidnapped to Africa, “Okay,” he replied softly. “Um, I think I’ll be starting my leave a little early. Do you mind if I sit with all of you now?”

Peter immediately got up and moved off after leaving the bag on the table next to Carter’s book, but Kerry lingered silently like a shadow to make sure Luka and Carter weren’t overwhelmed, “Um, Luka, I actually need to talk to you,” Carter spoke up, deciding to enlighten Luka as to what he and Nathan had been up to that day. “Nathan, is it okay if I tell Luka what we were up to upstairs earlier?”

“Luka, did Grandpa Rocket ask you about the DNA test?” Nathan interrupted. “He said he would. I don’t need some shrink or other adults to tell me how to feel about the situation. It is what it is. I’ve dealt with much worse than this whole crap with Doug Ross and I’m still alive. Can we just get it done? Please? Psych wants me to do counseling, but I just want this crap over with. I don’t have to do anything about it right away if something comes of it, but…”

Luka immediately looked confused, “We, um, never talked about that,” he replied quietly. “If you want to do the test, I don’t personally have a problem with it, but I just want you to rest and take your time with everything even if something comes of it. Okay? And I don’t want you talking to Doug Ross by yourself anymore. I’d rather your mother, your grandfather, or I be with you if there are future conversations. We love you and we want you to be safe and supported.”

Nathan nodded and immediately winced, “Nathan, try not to move too much,” Carter cautioned, frowning at him. “ENT is still coming and the results from your MRI…”

Luka shot a worried look at Carter as Erinn dozed off next to Nathan, “Doctor Romano was there and gave permission, but he and I suspect a traumatic brain injury that caused some eardrum issues,” Carter explained quietly while continuing to feed Nathan the smoothie. “Did you wanna try some actual food again now?”

“The cottage cheese sounds nice,” Nathan replied quietly, suddenly wincing again. “Ow…I’ve got a headache.”

Carter sighed, “Is it okay if I let Luka feed you while I go call ENT again and find you some pain meds?” he asked softly, quickly giving his chair and the smoothie to Luka. “I’ll be back as soon as I can.”

Luka offered Nathan a kind look as he moved the chair closer to the bed and sat, “They put Lucas on a hold, didn’t they?” Nathan asked quietly, his expression somber. “For threatening to break my stuff and beat me up?”

“It’s a little more complicated than that, but they did put him on a hold,” Luka replied softly, offering Nathan the smoothie again. “Do you want more of this or do you want the cottage cheese?”

Nathan sighed, “I better eat,” he said with a sigh. “Or Grandpa Rocket will get annoyed.”

“Your grandfather’s hanging out with your mom right now and making sure she gets a chance to rest, but I’ll help you eat,” Luka explained patiently. “After that, you close your eyes for a bit and then we’ll talk to Genetics later about the test. I want them to come here. You do the test here where I can keep an eye on you and make sure you stay safe and well. Okay?”

Kerry chose that moment to move closer to the bed, suddenly feeling very protective, “Luka, do you want me to talk to Doug and explain all of this to him?” she asked softly. “I’ll be nice about it.”

“I…I don’t want to be trouble,” Nathan commented worriedly. “I…I understand everyone’s worried.”

Kerry offered Nathan a motherly look, “You’re not trouble, sweetie,” she replied gently. “This situation…I’m sure it’s a lot. For both you and Doctor Ross. And we just want to make sure you’re both okay through all of it. Okay? Now, let your dad take care of you and I’ll talk to Doctor Ross.”

“Thank you,” Luka replied softly, deeply relieved that he wouldn’t have to talk to Doug himself alongside Carol, as he felt awkward being around Carol after their breakup had hurt him deeply.

Nodding, Kerry stepped back and looked towards the curtain area where she knew Doug was.

“How’d that taste?” Mark asked quietly as he fed Doug the last of the broth. “Good?”

Doug sighed tiredly, “Yeah,” he replied, a tired sigh in his voice. “Thanks for it. How…how are those chicken sandwiches and Cokes you two have over there?”

Carol smiled as she took a small bite of her sandwich, “It’s enough to tide me over for a while,” she replied softly. “Did you want to call your mom? She knows you’re here and you seem better.”

Doug, however, suddenly looked a little lost, “She’ll wanna talk about Nathan and I…how do I tell her that I saw him and how I’m feeling about all this?” he asked softly. “I’m going to do the test this afternoon, but…maybe…maybe I should talk to someone first. Like I talked to Will in Seattle.”

Mark’s jaw dropped at Doug being open to the idea of therapy. Before Mark could comment, however, Carol’s phone went off and she quickly excused herself to the desk to answer it, leaving Mark and Doug to chat by themselves.

Kerry, who had been just about to pop in on Doug, saw Carol on the phone and immediately heard Carol refer to ‘Will.’ Kerry quickly became concerned at that, as she knew Edson had just started seeing someone named Will Dremmer and worried that something was wrong with the man.

“…Oh, Will, you don’t have to worry about bringing us dinner tonight if the cold’s too hard on you and your leg,” Kerry heard Carol say in a concerned motherly tone. “Did you take your meds? No? Why? Oh…oh, really? That’s awesome. When did you meet them?”

Immediately realizing that Edson’s new boyfriend was in trouble and alone, Kerry silently went over to Dave’s room and paused at the door because she could overhear Edson reading poetry to Dave, “Doctor Edson, when do you get off?” she finally asked, poking her head into the room.

Edson paused, looking up from the poetry book like a kid who got caught raiding a cookie jar. Dave, who had been slowly falling asleep to the poetry reading, suddenly eyed Edson with interest, wondering where this conversation was heading.

“I’m not sure,” Edson replied quietly. “I guess whenever Doctor Greene decides to let me out. I’ve been on a while…”

Kerry sighed, “Has Mark not given you a proper schedule yet?” she asked sternly. “Tell you what, you’re off now. I…I think a friend of yours could use some help anyway…”

Dave suddenly looked amused and a little relieved, “You met someone, Dale?” he asked in a quiet, but pleased voice, smiling at Edson. “That’s awesome.”

Anxiety filled Edson’s eyes, “Yeah, Dave, I did,” he replied softly, unable to lie to his friend as he looked at his kind, happy face. “But you…you gotta keep it quiet. The someone…is a guy…”

Dave’s eyebrows raised, “Cool,” he replied in a tired voice, continuing to smile. “Tell me about him.”

Kerry paused, “You’re not bothered?” Edson asked nervously. “You’re…you’re religious, though.”

“I’m actually not really a big believer in God,” Dave replied simply, sighing. “I was raised religious when I was in New York, but I didn’t have any faith in life at all when I moved to Chicago, let alone church, so I quit religion and just tried to like life again. I go to church on Christmas Eve to light a candle for Dana, but I really don’t believe in church. Anyway, I don’t wanna talk about that. Tell me about your new…someone. My foster dad…he doesn’t like homosexuality, so we’ll just talk quietly, okay? So we’re not overheard. I doubt Chief’s gonna say anything seeing as she’s gay herself…”

Edson blinked, “Um, his name is Will, he’s visiting from Seattle, and he’s a doctor,” he explained softly. “We just met, but…”

Dave smirked, “But you totally made out with him and had some fun in the sheets too,” he finished with a mischievous grin on his face. “Come on, dude. I can totally see it in your face. I’ve never seen your eyes full of so much light…and you took your ashes locket off. You must really like him, huh?”

“Yeah,” Edson admitted softly, nodding. “But…I’m facing a disciplinary hearing in January cause I screwed up with your care. I didn’t eat enough, I got tired, and I said and did careless crap that cause you to almost die, so I don’t know where I’m going to be next year. Having a relationship might be…”

Dave frowned, “I thought you being sent here for a month was your disciplinary action?” he spoke quietly. “You spent a ton of your surgeon’s salary on cremating your pregnant fiancé. You also sold your house and gave over half the proceeds to our clinic so we could keep our doors open when the city tried to screw us out of grants. You also pay for your parents stay at Garden Vista and your own expenses. What the hell are you gonna do?”

“Maybe lose my license?” Edson replied with a sigh. “Romano…he sort of adopted me into the accessibility program and he says he’s going to talk to Anspaugh, but…I’m pretty sure my days in Surgery are finished. I can’t keep the pace. And Mark Greene…he’s not exactly making things easy for me down here. I actually thought about quitting after Thanksgiving just to save myself from being gunned down by the hospital’s firing squad in the new year…”

Kerry, meanwhile, stood there looking dumbfounded and concerned, “You gotta keep hope alive that they’ll show you some mercy,” Dave spoke quietly, offering him a kind look because he had a feeling not many had been doing that. “Do you want me to come with you to your hearing? Even in a wheelchair, I can still do some good. I can still speak for you and at least help you keep your license. I can even call Doctor Banfield about getting you a job if County won’t keep you. She helped me finish my residency when County…well…we won’t go into that now. Anyway, let me know…”

“I’ll think about it,” Edson replied softly. “Um, Doctor Weaver…you needed something?”

Kerry nodded, “Your friend, Will…I think he’s needing some help at…wherever he is,” she replied softly. “I overheard Doug Ross’s wife on the phone to him. From what I heard of the conversation…”

Nodding, Edson silently moved towards the door with his head down and any signs of calmness immediately gone. Kerry frowned, fully intending to ask if he was okay, but Edson was gone before she could get a word out. Now, more than a little concerned, she turned to Dave to pick his brain.

The lounge was quiet and empty, and Dale Edson was grateful for that, as he just wanted to be alone for a moment. He needed to gather his thoughts and breathe before he left the building.

Letting out a sigh, he started gathering his things out of the small box in the corner he had gotten for himself during his exile, as nobody had thought to assign him a locker or a proper schedule. Anspaugh had just told him to report to Mark and work when and where Mark told him to.

Edson tried very hard to avoid thinking about how he hadn’t been given a locker in the ER after being ordered to clean out his stuff from the surgeon’s locker room, as he was not allowed to use it during his exile, so he had found an empty box in Storage, put his name on it with a Sharpie, had stuffed his things in it, and had put it in a quiet corner of the lounge. Nobody had noticed or cared, so he had let things be and simply lived with the fact that he and his stuff were now ‘the garbage’ of the ER.

As Edson was putting his coat on and making sure he had his phone and wallet on him, Mark came in to get some tea because Doug had agreed to tea as long as it was from the staff lounge and was put together and steeped in front of him.

Mark, however, immediately froze at seeing Edson gathering his coat from a box in the corner and sporting a tired, broken look on his face.

Mark’s uneasiness grew tenfold when he noticed the demoted surgeon’s name on the box and realized that the man had never been given a locker or a proper schedule. Just an order to get to work and…a lot of hate. Hate that had originated from himself and had spread like a virus, as he had heard people mocking Edson and his situation behind his back and to his face. Edson had simply taken it in silence and had focused on his work. Mark felt absolutely terrible about that, as it was his responsibility as Chief of Staff to protect his staff. All of his staff.

“Oh, Doctor Greene,” Edson suddenly spoke in a quiet voice, turning to face Mark. “I…I was just leaving cause Doctor Weaver said I could. Is that okay? This isn’t gonna be another thing you add to your little list of my sins you bring up at my disciplinary hearing in January, is it? The box in the corner? God, it’s bad enough you went to Anspaugh and demanded the meeting in January to yank my license…now you’re…”

Mark’s eyes narrowed, as he was deeply confused, but Edson simply glared at him while fetching his blood sugar monitor out of the box because he knew Peter would kill him if he forgot it.

“I got the letter in my box that you sent and I took it to Romano, as he is the accessibility guy, but you could have at least given me the courtesy of telling me that I was pretty much going to be screwed out of a career and medical license in January through the disciplinary hearing that you obviously asked Anspaugh for!” Edson continued snapping. “I’ll save you the trouble! I’m thinking about quitting after Thanksgiving! Happy?! Good night and good riddance, you selfish prick!”

As Edson stormed out of the lounge, he nearly barrelled into Carter, who was coming in to grab a tea to get him through the rest of his shift.

Carter, who had just gotten off the phone with a very irritated, overworked ENT specialist about a consult for Nathan, which wasn’t going to happen anytime soon, had come in just in time to hear Dale yell at Mark about a disciplinary hearing. Carter was rightfully confused, but horrified, as he thought that Dale’s punishment had already been handed out. Carter’s concern grew when he also noticed the box in the corner of the lounge with Dale’s name on it, something that Mark was also gazing at rather solemnly.

“Dale?” Carter spoke in a concerned tone, frowning at how pale, sad, and tired his friend seemed and noticed the monitor in his hand. “Dale!”

Without a second thought, Carter turned and bolted out of the lounge, catching up to Edson just as the man was slowly trudging across the snow-filled ambulance bay towards the street with his head down, “Dale!” Carter spoke anxiously, frowning at his friend. “What the hell did I overhear in the lounge?!”

“It’s not your concern, John,” Edson replied tersely, glaring at him. “By the way, I spoke with Tony Malucci. I told him I’d come by myself on Thanksgiving since I’d be up there for my parents anyway. You don’t need to…”

Carter’s frown deepened, but Edson trudged on and nearly fell, prompting Carter to hurry after him, “Where are you going?” Carter asked anxiously. “I can give you a ride. I have my Jeep…”

“I’m going to visit the guy I made out with this morning and slept with at lunch,” Edson hissed, wincing as he suddenly felt a headache come on. “He’s at his hotel room not feeling well and…”

Carter’s eyes widened at that, as he had seen the two together in the cafeteria earlier and had no idea that the relationship had progressed to sex so quickly, but he kept walking after him instead of offering comments, “And you don’t sound too great either,” he argued in a worried voice. “Your voice is tired. You’re pale, shaky in your step, and you look…”

“Give it a rest, John,” Edson hissed darkly, rubbing his head again. “I have a headache. I’m leaving.”

Carter, however, got between Edson and the street, “Dale, if you’re sick, you should come back inside…” he spoke worriedly. “I can help you…”

“And add to the file Mark Greene has on me?” Edson spoke in a pained voice. “The bastard couldn’t even get me a locker, John. A freaking locker. Or a real schedule. I think I’m better off just leaving and dropping off in an alley somewhere with the rest of the garbage. Romano will bite my head off if I go back in there with even a symptom…”

Carter simply stared at him, “The rest of the garbage?” he replied, taken aback by the self-deprication. “Dale…do you hear yourself?”

“Do you hear me, John?” Edson replied in an incredulous tone. “I have a headache, and I am trying to leave to go deal with it. I’m tired and I need to go rest and then help my friend. It’s not like anyone cares how I’m feeling or how I’m doing, though. I’m working as basically an ER intern without any safety net. I don’t have an official schedule, I’m using a box in the corner in the ER doctor’s lounge to store my stuff, I’m in hypoglycemia hell, I’m the target of gossip. I’d rather just quit, try and save my license, and…somehow make it through Christmas with what little I have. I sold my house and car to help Dave and Amy’s clinic sustain itself when the city screwed them out of grant money because they let me work with them when I was depressed after 9/11, but I’m not homeless. I have an apartment that’s within walking distance of the EL, but it’s not in the best neighborhood…”

Carter froze and Edson used the opportunity to slip past him, “How far is it?” Carter called out, quickly turning.

“You’re back on payroll,” Edson replied in a slightly shaky voice even though he paused. “You can’t just…”

Carter scoffed, “Just please come back,” he pled softly, his expression filling with worry as he spoke. “Have a rest in the lounge while I get my stuff and I’ll drive you home. I’ll take my lunch to do it. Maybe check your blood sugar while you’re there…”

“You just wanna get me on a gurney,” Edson groaned with a sigh. “The EL’s right nearby…”

Carter sighed worriedly, “And you could pass out on it,” he finished grimly. “From low blood sugar.”

“Is it just me, or have you grown more annoying since we were surgical interns together?” Edson asked irritably, scowling as he turned to face Carter. “You’re like a crazed energizer bunny…”

Carter offered him a patient look, “And you’re very irritated,” he replied patiently. “Did you eat lunch?”

“Benton made me eat some wrap and tiny smoothie at a health food spot around ten after he picked me up from visiting my friend, but…I’m sure it’s way past that now,” Edson commented with a sigh. “You wanna help me walk back up the bay? It was hard enough getting down to the street.”

Nodding, Carter offered Edson his arm and Edson promptly took it, “Sure,” Carter replied softly.

“Doctor Malucci?”

Exhaling tiredly, Dave opened his eyes, eyes that he had just closed when there had finally been a moment of quiet in his room. He was surprised to see Sam sitting beside his bed, “Is it time for another vitals check?” he asked in a tired tone. “I guess…I guess it’s normal, right? Given earlier…”

“No, I was just wondering if you wanted to talk,” Sam spoke quietly, sighing. “About the spells? I’ve had them too. Because of Steve…”

Dave paused at the mention of Steve, “And I never apologized for taking Alex and running out on you and Daniel when you were so kind to us,” Sam continued softly. “I just ran out…”

“Well, Steve…he stalked me for a bit in June and beat me up and he, um, also sexually assaulted me last November…but I never…I never really dealt with it,” Dave spoke shakily. “The cops processed me, but…”

Sam froze and Dave sighed, “I’m sorry,” he replied grimly. “I didn’t know who he was until you showed me a picture of Steve back when we were all living together. He was drunk and got me in an alley near my clinic…”

Tears filled Sam’s eyes and Dave sighed grimly, “It doesn’t matter now,” he finished softly. “I…”

“It does,” Sam corrected him softly, giving him a look. “You not dealing with it may be part of the reason for your spells. Between Steve, Elton, and your dad…your brain’s…it sounds like it’s overloaded on bad stuff. Do you want to talk to someone about it?”

Dave gave her a look, “Probably, but I’ve already driven County absolutely crazy since I’ve been here,” he stated in a tired tone. “Between the injuries I got in the shooting, the continued paralysis, and almost dying from an infection in the ICU…”

“You still have the right to talk to someone if you want to,” Sam interrupted softly, giving him a motherly look. “Um…did anyone get you anything to eat? It’s way past lunch.”

Dave shook his head no just as two things happened at the same time: his phone buzzed, and Jing-Mei wandered into the room with a couple of sodas from the vending machine. Sam quickly offered Dave his phone and Dave hesitated before he saw the Carter number on it.

Letting out a sigh of relief that it wasn’t his father calling to torment him more, Dave took the phone and answered it. Daniel’s quiet, but happy voice filled the phone and Dave dared to smile, as Daniel was one of the things that made Dave smile automatically, “Hey there, buddy,” Dave spoke softly.

Wanting to give Dave time alone with his son, who he hadn’t seen since Halloween, Sam quietly excused herself to the door, “I’m going to phone up to Dietary and see where Doctor Malucci’s lunch is,” Sam whispered to Jing-Mei. “Do you and your baby want something?”

Jing-Mei offered her a surprised look, “I know you love Doctor Malucci and want to be there for him as much as possible, but you need to take care of you and the baby too,” Sam commented softly.

“I’m just angry cause when I called the house to see if Eleanor wanted to be here for Dave while he was struggling earlier, she blew me off and said she was going shopping for the nursery,” Jing-Mei whispered grimly, sighing. “It’s like she’s wanting to spend all her time in the comfortable parts of the relationship and avoid the hard parts, but that’s not what a mother is supposed to…”

A patient sigh suddenly filled the air, “Well, Daniel, I would love it if you came to visit me for a little bit on Thanksgiving, but we will have to ask Mama Jing-Mei,” Dave spoke gently. “I’m no longer contagious, but she’s in charge of you right now. Do you want me to ask her or do you want to?”

Jing-Mei raised an eyebrow, offered Sam an apologetic look, and quickly made her way over to the bed, “Daniel wants to visit me for a little bit on Thanksgiving,” Dave explained softly, offering her a pleading look. “I’m not contagious anymore, but I told him we’d have to talk to you about it…”

Wanting to give Dave and Jing-Mei privacy to talk to Daniel, Sam left Exam One just in time to see Carter help a very spent looking Edson walk through the door, “Any sign of Greene or Weaver?” Edson muttered in a tired voice. “I just need a place to sit and a pop or something…”

Carter, however, gently guided Edson off down the hallway to Exam Three and shielded him from the ever-watchful Frank at the desk as they watched. Wondering what the hell was going on, Sam silently followed after them and arrived in Exam Three just in time to see Carter help Edson sit on the edge of a gurney.

Sam watched as Carter took a box containing a drugstore brand blood sugar monitor from Edson and popped it open, “You might be more comfortable if you took your coat off,” Carter commented softly.

“And you might wanna hurry up and check my sugar and get me the hell out of here before Romano finds out,” Edson replied shakily, quickly looking at the floor while blinking.

Sam frowned and quickly moved into view, “When did you start having blurry vision, Doctor Edson?” she spoke in a firmly motherly tone. “I saw you blinking your eyes. Trying to correct your vision?”

“That’s it,” Carter spoke firmly, giving him a look. “Coats off. Lie down. Vitals and bloodwork.”

Rolling his eyes at Carter’s bossiness, Edson discarded his winter coat and white coat on the bed and Sam quickly adjusted the gurney for him so he could lay down.

“Um, I should call my friend…” Edson spoke shakily, sighing as he laid back on the pillow. “Maybe.”

Carter simply raised an eyebrow at him and was about to argue when Edson sighed tiredly, “Look, John, I know you gotta tattle on me to Romano, but be nice about it,” Edson spoke in a sleepy voice, a yawn escaping his mouth as he closed his eyes. “Don’t…don’t get Doctor Greene in trouble cause I don’t have a locker or a schedule yet. And don’t tell Romano about what I said in the bay. That…”

“I have to tell Romano about Mark not giving you a locker or a schedule, as that relates to accessibility and you’re now part of his program,” Carter explained gently. “But I won’t…”

A snore suddenly filled the air and Carter realized that Edson had fallen asleep. He handed the glucose meter to Sam, “Doctor Edson has hypoglycemia, and he needs a glucose check and a vitals check,” Carter explained in a quiet voice. “I am going to go let Doctor Romano know what is going on and come back. I know where Romano probably is right now, so I should be quick. Do not let Dale leave if he happens to wake up. Even if you have to tackle him, keep him here.”

“You’re a good friend to Doctor Edson, Doctor Carter,” Sam commented softly, smiling at him.”

Carter sighed, “Dale…he’s worthy of having friends, but he doesn’t have a lot of them,” he explained in a quiet, solemn voice as he headed to the door. “So I’ll be his friend and help him feel like he matters.”

Nodding, Sam turned her attention to the sleeping Edson as Carter left the room to find Romano.

Carter had speedwalked through the ER, gotten a fast elevator up to Peds, and had made fast tracks to the room where Lucas was now alone because he knew Dr. Romano was probably still there.

What John Carter saw upon entering the room, however, was completely unexpected.

Dr. Romano was sitting on the couch near the window with his eyes closed, an earbud in one ear that was attached to an iPod that was laying on the arm of the couch…

And in his arms lay a sleeping Amy, who had the other earbud in her ear…

At a loss for words, Carter quietly moved over to the bed where Lucas lay asleep sporting a tracheotomy that was hooked to a vent and was stunned to see him unconscious and restrained.

There was a pad of paper on the portable table next to the bed and Carter couldn’t resist looking at it. And again, he was stunned by what he was reading. The words were in Lucas’s writing, but they were nasty words…nasty words directed at Amy, Luka, outright confessions that he had cut himself, and outright hate for Nathan.

In fact, Carter observed grimly, Lucas had even written that he wished Nathan had died when Elton had stabbed him and had kidnapped him to the house and Lucas had also threatened to break Nathan’s computer and stab Nathan with the pieces for telling…

It was so gruesome that Carter had to quickly stop reading and turn away from Lucas. He knew that if he continued to look at Lucas and his words, he would quickly remember Paul Sobriki. In fact, Carter knew he couldn’t help but think of Sobriki because Sobriki’s violent words and behavior, much like Lucas’s, had come out of absolutely nowhere. Unlike back then, however, Nathan’s words of concern had been listened to, and Lucas was now getting help.

Carter couldn’t help also feeling regret that he hadn’t listened to Lucy when she had shared her concerns about Paul Sobriki. If he had listened, perhaps Lucy would still be alive…

A sleepy sigh suddenly filled the air, and Carter froze as Dr. Romano’s eyes opened, “Whoever’s here, you have five seconds to get the hell out,” Dr. Romano muttered darkly. “This isn’t a show…”

“Uh, Doctor Romano, it’s just me,” Carter spoke anxiously as he moved into Romano’s view.

Dr. Romano paused at seeing Carter, “What do you want?” he asked in a quieter voice. “I’m busy spending time with my kiddo, so this better be important. Anything back on Nathan?”

Carter shook his head, “Um, I came to talk to you about Dale and his hypoglycemia,” he spoke quietly. “He gave permission for me…”

“Let me guess, Greene’s bullying stressed the kid out to the point where he had an episode bad enough to put him on a gurney?” Dr. Romano guessed coldly, giving Carter a look. “Am I right?”

Carter nodded and Romano sighed irritably, “Dale has been keeping his stuff in a box in the corner of the lounge cause he has no locker and he’s just been hanging around working endlessly since he apparently has no official schedule either,” Carter explained grimly. “He looks like a ghost with legs and I’m also worried about him having depression. Dale literally worked around the clock with me to help Dave during Dave’s three-day coma and he’s been doing everything Mark’s asked of him. I know he made mistakes, but I don’t think they were intentional…”

Dr. Romano gave Carter a look and Carter quieted, “My appointment with Donald is set for 3 and I’m definitely going to do what I can to at least protect Edson’s license and make sure he can have a job somewhere,” Romano replied quietly. “Interestingly enough, I have to start dwelling on my own future because I myself am a senior ER resident now and spring is right around the corner…so maybe I’ll have a chat with Donald about that too…”

Carter paused, “Why don’t you ask about an ER Attending position?” he asked quietly. “You…you wouldn’t leave County, would you? You’ve given your life to this place…”

“And I almost lost it here too,” Dr. Romano replied in a quiet, but serious tone as he gave Carter a firm look. “Or did you forget that I almost died from blood loss, sepsis, shock, and infections when that chopper blade took my arm on the roof? Besides, if I take an attending job in the ER, there won’t be anything left for Dave when he’s able to work again. And he will work again. He’s too stubborn to just quit…”

Carter frowned, “And what about you?” he asked worriedly. “If you leave…what will you do?”

“I imagine there will be a grand parade throughout the hospital the day I hang up my white coat at County,” Dr. Romano replied simply, his expression somber. “Anyway, this one on my lap and her babies and my kiddo holed up in Exam One…they’re all more important than an ER Attending job. Now…could you please do me a favor and get out before you wake my daughter up? Keep an eye on Edson, call up here when Nathan’s results come back, and I will find my way down there after I speak with Donald.”

Understanding himself to be dismissed, Carter left the room quietly, but paused in the hall just out of sight of Romano. He watched as Romano gazed at the ceiling with an expression of sadness on his face for a few moments before closing his eyes again and taking a deep breath to calm himself. Romano, Carter silently observed, suddenly looked like the owner of a broken soul and it was nothing less than heartwrenching to see.

Swallowing hard, Carter silently made his way back to the elevator, suddenly feeling compassion for Romano because the man was clearly suffering just as much as anyone else he knew and he needed compassion just as much as anyone else.

Doug had accepted the tea from the staff room with gratitude, but then had asked for someone from Psych to come talk to him before Genetics came to take his DNA later than afternoon, as he wanted to feel less anxious about the situation without dragging his mother’s attention away from his daughters.

Determined to help Doug any way that he could, Mark had offered to make the call at the desk and so he went and did that as soon as Carol had gotten back to Doug’s side. And now, while Doug rested and chatted with Carol about Dr. Dremmer, Mark was at the desk kindly requesting that Psych send DeRaad or Myers to speak with Doug and nobody less experienced, as Doug’s situation needed someone experienced with counseling and it was most definitely not a teaching case.

As Mark was on the phone at the desk, however, he suddenly noticed Carter wandering down the hallway towards Exam Three with a vitals machine, an IV, a lab cart, and Chuny in tow. And yet, a quick check of the board told Mark that Exam Three…was supposed to be quiet.

Deeply suspicious, Mark politely ended his call with Psych and silently made tracks to Exam Three to find out what the hell Carter was up to. He arrived just in time to see Sam check Edson’s vitals while Edson snored on a gurney in his shoes, dress shirt, and tie. A used blood sugar monitor sat on the portable table beside the bed. Carter, who was lingering at the foot of the bed trying to figure out how to steal Dale’s shoes without waking him, froze at seeing Mark in the doorway.

“Got a moment, Carter?” Mark asked quietly, eyeing the scene before him worriedly.

Sighing, Carter proceeded to gently untie and remove both of Dale’s shoes, “Just a sec,” he replied softly. “I, um, just need to…there.”

Mark paused, but Carter quietly slipped Dale’s shoes under the gurney before moving into the hall and Mark followed, “I thought Weaver sent Doctor Edson home?” Mark quizzed worriedly, frowning at Carter.

“Dale almost passed out near the street from low blood sugar,” Carter replied in a quiet, but pissed tone, glaring at Mark. “Fortunately, I managed to talk him into staying off the EL. I don’t know what the hell went on between you two in the lounge, but I also had a word with Doctor Romano about the box I saw in the lounge and the way you’ve been treating him…”

Mark stilled, realizing how out of control he had allowed the situation to get because he couldn’t be an adult and behave professionally, “Fortunately for you, Doctor Romano’s busy at the moment, so you have a little time to start making things right before you have hell thrown at you,” Carter continued in a quieter tone. “If you wanted to help me with Dale, I wouldn’t say no…”

Before Mark could reply, he suddenly noticed Dr. Anspaugh wander into view and walk off past the desk, “Just hold that thought for a minute, Carter,” Mark spoke anxiously. “I’ll be back.”

Wondering why Anspaugh was visiting the ER, as he usually didn’t, Mark hurried in the direction that the man had gone.

“That tea was…strangely filling,” Doug commented softly, sighing tiredly as he gazed at Carol. “What do you suppose my mom and the girls are up to? Did you tell them about…all this?”

Carol shook her head, “I also told your mom to not let them watch TV in case you were still on the news,” she replied softly. “Do you want the curtain open now?”

“No,” Doug replied quietly, his expression somber as he spoke. “Maybe…maybe read to me a little bit from the book we read together at bedtime? I brought it with me. It should be in my bag.”

As Carol went looking for Doug’s bag, Kerry poked her head into the curtain, “Hi,” Doug spoke in a self-conscious tone, eyeing Kerry nervously. “Um, if you’re here to yell at me about Nathan…I already got the message when his mother gave me the third degree. This situation…I can’t imagine it’s been easy on them or their family. I, um actually asked Mark to call Psych to get me someone to talk to about it…”

Kerry paused at that, “No, I didn’t come to talk to you about the situation with Nathan, although I’m glad you want to talk to someone about it,” she replied in a patient voice. “Situations involving like the one you’re going through can be…complicated for everyone involved. Did you know that I myself was adopted at birth? I met my birth mother when I was an adult…and it wasn’t easy for either of us…”

Doug paused, suddenly unsure what to make of Kerry’s kindness, “Um, you’re right that this isn’t easy,” he replied quietly, being careful to be quiet because he knew Nathan was nearby. “Everyone…they’re acting like I’m the bad guy in all this and…my drink was drugged too. Same as Amy’s. I…I don’t blame everyone for thinking the worst, though, as I was really irresponsible back then. Seeking friends and company in bad places…”

“This…what happened to you was absolutely not your fault,” Kerry replied firmly, suddenly feeling endless compassion for Doug. “You were drugged and forced to have sex with someone against your will. And Nathan’s mother was also drugged and forced into the same situation. I’m so sorry it happened. I’m so sorry to the both of you and you both have a right to feel…however you want or need to feel…”

Carol silently placed her hand atop Doug’s in an attempt to calm him as she could see the monitor was not liking him being upset and Doug sighed, “Um, how are those kids I helped, by the way?” he asked tiredly. “At Danvers Park? Alex and…Lucas?”

“I think Alex…he didn’t stay in the ER for very long and he’s back at school,” Kerry replied softly.

Doug sighed, “And Lucas?” he asked quietly, quickly noticing that Kerry wasn’t mentioning Lucas at all. “Why in the hell was he out on a frozen pond in a park the middle of a snowstorm anyway? Now that I think about it, why the hell weren’t those two in school? During the ambulance ride, Alex told me they ran to the park cause Lucas was sad that somebody named Doctor Gallant died…”

Kerry paused, unsure what to say about that, “Your memory’s obviously doing a lot better,” she finally spoke in a more professional tone. “How about the rest of you? Mind if I do some checks?”

“My head hurts less, but my chest hurts and my leg hurts and I’m tired,” Doug replied in a quieter voice. “Mark fed me some chicken broth and water, and he left me with some tea, though…so at least I’m getting some nutrition. I’d ask how my lungs are, but…”

Kerry quickly checked the drain containers, “Better than they were, but not perfect yet,” she replied simply. “And do you want something for the pain? You have a button…”

“I don’t need to be drugged up for whatever lemming Psych sends down to pick my brain,” Doug responded tiredly. “Do you need to do a neuro exam too?”

Before Kerry could reply, the curtain moved back and Anspaugh appeared, “Doctor Anspaugh,” Doug spoke in a voice barely above a whisper. “What…?”

“Hello again, Doug,” Dr. Anspaugh replied calmly, offering him a smile. “Psych forwarded your request to me, as that was something we agreed on a long time ago, and I said I’d handle it. I think we’re overdue for a private chat, don’t you?”

Doug blinked, “I didn’t think you still worked here,” he replied softly. “Yeah, um, I guess we are.”

Carol stood up and gently kissed Doug on the forehead while clutching her Coke, “I’m gonna go for a walk,” she spoke gently. “Maybe check on your mom and the girls and also let my mom they’re here so they can see both grandmothers. Love you.”

“Love you,” Doug replied softly, exhaling tiredly. “Give the girls and my mom…my love…and apologies…”

Understanding herself to be dismissed, Kerry drew the curtain closed again and left, pausing when she saw Mark lingering nearby. Kerry motioned for Mark to leave it alone before moving over to the area where Nathan was. She was worried that Nathan had overheard Doug’s rant and was upset by it.

Kerry was relieved when she saw that Nathan was asleep surrounded by his teddy bear, Erinn, and Katie. Luka, meanwhile, was sitting by the portable table silently stacking the gifted books and magazines on it next to empty food containers while the box of Nathan’s stuff sat at his feet unpacked.

Curious to see if she could offer help, Kerry wandered over and Mark joined her.

Luka noticed them immediately and stopped what he was doing to look at them, “Um, I know we talked about me starting my leave on Thanksgiving, but I think I may need to start it earlier,” Luka spoke in a quiet voice, looking apprehensive as he spoke. “If I have to go without pay until Thanksgiving, it’s manageable. Erinn and Katie took off from school today and got on the bus to come here because Katie had a nap at lunch recess and had a dream about Nathan being dead. She saw Nathan get stabbed before she was kidnapped and I think she’s just now starting to process it. Amy has to work because she promised Ray she would help him, but I don’t have to.”

Mark and Kerry looked stunned, “Plus, Nathan has some serious medical issues he needs some help dealing with,” Luka continued softly. “It’s better for me to simply take a step back from work. Lucas is in trouble too, but I’m not allowed to do anything about that, and Michael and Abigail are on lockdown in the NICU til further notice, so I’m just going be there for Nathan, Erinn, Katie, and Joe as much as I can be…”

“What do you mean you’re not allowed?” Kerry asked worriedly. “You adopted Lucas, right? You have parental rights...”

Luka sighed and his eyes went to the sleeping Nathan, “Lucas tried to assault me,” he replied softly. “Peds got Psych involved put him on a 72-hour involuntary Psych hold and they are trying to get me to press charges, but I haven’t and I won’t. I’ve been firmly advised to…to keep out of Lucas’s way in the meantime...”

Mark and Kerry exchanged a concerned look, “Um, if you want to help, Joe is still at his school program and needs someone to pick him up since I’m not going anywhere,” Luka continued softly. “And could you find Carter? He’s Nathan’s doctor. I’d like to know if Carter’s heard anything about his test results. Nathan’s also in a lot of pain and I said I’d find someone to help, but he went to sleep to try and help himself after he insisted on eating. I think his pain was made worse by eating, though…”

“I can,” Mark replied firmly, knowing that Carter was still fussing over the ill Dale. “Be back in a bit.”

Kerry, meanwhile, lingered and began checking Nathan’s vitals because she noticed sweat on his brow and was worried about a fever and other concerning issues.

“…John, honestly, I just got a little tired,” Edson protested softly, having woken to find himself hooked to a vitals monitor while Sam took his vitals. “I…I don’t need all this…attention.”

Carter scoffed, “Your blood sugar’s in the tank, Dale,” he replied firmly. “When you went to the health food place with Doctor Benton, did you actually eat what he gave you or no?”

“I ate what he gave me, but…stuff happened between now and then that was stressful and may have caused it to drop,” Edson replied nervously, not wanting to share his conversation with Dave or the threats that Tony Malucci had made to him over the phone. “I just need something to eat. Really.”

Carter, however, gave Sam a look before retrieving a urine specimen cup from the medical cart, “I think we should make sure,” he spoke softly as Mark wandered into the room. “Bloodwork, urine.”

Desperate to get Carter away from him before he lost coherency and blurted out Tony Malucci’s uncomfortable behavior towards him, Edson looked at Mark, “Doctor Greene can do it,” he argued in a tired tone. “Don’t you have patients, John?”

“Yes, he does,” Mark spoke up firmly. “Carter, why don’t you go check on Nathan?”

Carter paused for a moment before nodding and passing the urine specimen cup to Mark, “Let me know when Dale’s ready to leave,” he spoke as he left. “I’ll be happy to drive him home.”

Once Carter was gone, however, Edson looked at Mark silently for a moment, “My phone’s in my coat,” Edson spoke softly, a pained expression on his face. “Doctor Dremmer and I traded numbers after I dropped him off at his hotel. I was supposed to meet him tonight, but…”

“Doctor Dremmer is Doug’s friend and he’s also a doctor who offered to do a few shifts while he was spending holidays in Chicago being a support to Doug during his recovery,” Mark spoke gently, giving Edson a look. “At least, that’s what he said when he was here visiting Doug earlier. I might have to call him and see if I can take him up on his offer since you’re out of commission for now. I might even hand your care over to him if we get busy. For now, though, blood or urine first?”

Edson raised an eyebrow at Mark, wondering if he was in a dream. “Whichever you pick,” he replied quietly, taken aback that Mark would offer him opportunity to spend more time with Dr. Dremmer.

Carter frowned as he approached Nathan’s bed and found Kerry standing beside Nathan’s bed taking Nathan’s vitals while Katie sat in Luka’s lap looking tired and worried and Erinn, who also looked worried, stood beside both of them hugging Luka and resting her head on his shoulder. Nathan, meanwhile, lay in bed quietly with his eyes closed, an arm around Rocket, and a thermometer in his mouth.

“What happened?” Carter asked worriedly, frowning. “I was checking on another patient and…”

A beep filled the air, “Temp’s 98,” Kerry reported as she took the thermometer and looked at it briefly before setting it on the cart. “Did you do an MRI earlier? Nathan’s wincing and muttering. He’s obviously in pain.”

“I can call Radiology and see where it is,” Carter offered. “I’m also waiting on an ENT consult…”

Kerry sighed, “So much talking,” Nathan mumbled weakly, not opening his eyes. “And touching…”

“I’ll go phone Radiology and ENT,” Kerry replied in a stern voice. “Get him some Tylenol and see if we can’t move him somewhere comfortable while he’s here. This area’s…noisy.”

Nathan sighed, “Just don’t put me back in the basement,” he mumbled, wincing. “It’s dark and cold.”

Kerry covered her mouth at that, Carter’s eyes widened in horror, and Luka grew sad while holding Katie and Erinn close, “I’m going to the drug lockup and then I’m going to yell at ENT and Radiology.” Kerry spoke firmly, frowning at Carter. “After that, I wanna know where exactly you were…”

Swallowing hard, Carter nodded and approached the gurney, “Nathan…” he spoke gently, being careful not to touch the young man because he didn’t know what the consequences of that would be. “Nathan, it’s Doctor Carter. Can…can you hear me?”

Luka paused, deeply worried, but he didn’t say anything, “Hm?” Nathan mumbled sleepily, not waking as he sleepily turned his head in Carter’s direction. “What? I’ve got a headache…”

“Doctor Weaver went to grab you some Tylenol for that while we wait for your results,” Carter spoke gently. “Do you feel like you can open your eyes to take that?”

Nathan opened his eyes almost immediately, “Hi,” he spoke in a faint voice. “Um…is…is somebody nearby? I…I was here by myself earlier, but I can hear breathing now…”

“Oh, Luka’s here now and he, um, he got your stuff from upstairs, and he also got your sisters…Erinn and Katie…from school as a bit of a surprise for you,” Carter lied in a gentle tone, silently praying that Luka would go along with it and would make Erinn and Katie go along with it for Nathan’s sake, as it was obvious Nathan was battling memory issues. “I know school isn’t quite out yet, but Luka thought Erinn and Katie might be good company for you.”

Before Nathan could reply, Haleh wandered over with some liquid Tylenol, “Carter, Doctor Weaver said you asked for this liquid Children’s Tylenol?” she asked softly. “It’s extra strength.”

“Um, yeah,” Carter spoke softly, nodding at Nathan. “Nathan’s in some pain right now…”

Quiet filled the air as Haleh helped Nathan take the Tylenol and it was then that both Carter and Luka realized that Erinn and Katie weren’t really saying anything or even looking remotely concerned at Nathan’s memory deficiencies. They were simply looking patient and understanding, as if they were used to seeing him struggle that way and weren’t put off by it.

“Thank you,” Nathan replied in a whisper, sighing tiredly. “Luka…where’s Joe at? Did you bring him?”

Luka sighed, “I, um, can call Doctor Corday and Rachel to pick him up from his program so we can stay here,” he replied patiently. “They’re on the list of people allowed to pick him up from school.”

“Cool,” Nathan mumbled, closing his eyes because the Tylenol was pulling him under fast. “Tired.”

Katie’s stomach suddenly growled, “I’m hungry,” she whined softly. “Are there snacks here?”

“Carter, do you mind hanging around while I take Erinn and Katie to the vending machine?” Luka asked softly though he made no move to get up from his chair.

Haleh suddenly smiled, “I can take them to get something to eat in the cafeteria,” she offered gently. “Food’s better up there than in the machine.”

Luka thought for a moment before nodding, getting his wallet out of his coat, and getting a few bills out, “Thanks,” he replied in a relieved tone. “Um, before you go, Erinn and Katie…are you two…okay?”

“Why wouldn’t we be okay?” Erinn asked softly, giving Luka a strange look as she gently got Katie off Luka’s lap. “Nathan’s our big brother and we love him. We love him just as he is. He’s not scary.”

Luka paused at that, suddenly realizing that both girls were quite unbothered by Nathan’s struggles because they had most likely seen them before and had also been taught to respond to said struggles with love and compassion rather than judgment or fear. Haleh chose that moment to lead the girls away, leaving Luka alone with Carter and a sleeping Nathan.

“That right there just reminded me how new I still am to this family,” Luka commented softly, his expression mystified as he looked at Carter. “I don’t regret marrying Amy or adopting any of her kids as my own by any means, but…I’m definitely still learning about each of my kids each and every day. They’re so strong. They’re really extraordinary kids. I sometimes wonder if I’m enough for them, though...”

Carter silently took a seat in the empty chair beside Nathan’s bed and offered Luka a reassuring look, “You’re doing great,” he replied reassuringly. “You and Amy have only been married since what…February? It’s November. You and Amy haven’t even been married a whole year yet…”

“And we’ve been through so much bad stuff since we became a family,” Luka spoke in a tired, sad, slightly worried voice, looking like the owner of a broken soul as he shared his thoughts. “It just seems never ending. I would just like my family and I to have some good times now. We’re sure trying to make life good for ourselves, but life…it hasn’t been kind to any of us. It just seems to be getting worse, and I hope…I hope I can be a strength for all of us.”

Carter offered Luka a thoughtful look, “Most of the bad stuff that happened to your family up to this point was because of Elton and he’s dead now, so maybe…maybe you can all heal from the bad stuff now,” Carter spoke in a quiet, slightly emotional voice. “I know the healing that’s happening right now seems like it’s doing more harm than good, but…it will get better. At least, that’s what I told myself when I was struggling in the hospital waiting for a working kidney and facing losing Abby and Maggie. And it did. It…all of it…it eventually got better. Abby and I got to adopt Maggie. I…I got a working kidney and along with it, came a brother and a nephew I never even knew I had.”

Luka suddenly looked thoughtful, “How’s that going for you?” he asked quietly. “Your getting to know Dave and Daniel? I haven’t been there for Dave as much as I’ve wanted to be since Halloween and I feel bad about that, but Nathan almost died, and Amy had the twins and then got sick…”

“Dave had Jing-Mei and Daniel move into my place so they can have help with Daniel and their baby,” Carter commented softly, sighing. “And Dave still cannot feel his legs. He was shot on Halloween and it’s almost Thanksgiving and Dave still cannot feel his legs and when we talk, we barely even talk about it anymore because it hurts both of us too much. The last time I talked with my dad on the phone, I actually asked him to look into making the mansion more wheelchair accessible so Dave would be able to get around. I’m also funding a private room for Dave on the rehabilitation floor that’s going to be available once he’s clear to be moved. They originally said he had to wait til he’s over the pneumonia, but he’s doing so much better that they’ll take him after Thanksgiving if he keeps on track. I’m hoping time there will help him regain strength and give him time getting used to...hell, life in a wheelchair’s not something he’s ever going to be happy with. All I can do is try and ease the hurt a little. I suppose the good news in all of this is that our family’s working on a bit of a schedule…my family as in my father, Abby, Jing-Mei, and I…to be with Dave when he’s still here and even when he’s moved so he’s not by himself. Chase even called me a couple times because he wants to see Dave, but he doesn’t have a new worker yet and he needs one to go out in public. Um…”

Luka sighed, “I’m going to be off from now until Christmas,” he interjected softly. “I might have some time to give once the kids are back in school. If you need an extra person to help…”

“That…that’s so nice of you to offer,” Carter replied softly, smiling. “I may just take you up on that.”

Before Luka could reply, Kerry came back over to them looking concerned and confused, “Carter, why didn’t you tell me that Doctor Edson was sick?” she asked sternly, giving Carter a stern motherly look. “Mark says Edson got the flu, apparently, and is going to be getting a basic workup and some fluids for dehydration…”

“I know Abby’s scheduled for tonight, but if you need me to call her to come in early, I can,” Carter offered softly.

Luka suddenly looked concerned and was about to offer to help despite saying he needed to be on leave early, but Kerry gave both Carter and Luka a look, “Mark actually contacted Doctor Ross’s friend,” Kerry continued in a quieter tone. “A friend of Doctor Ross’s came from Seattle earlier to check on Doctor Ross. His name is Doctor Will Dremmer. Apparently, Doctor Dremmer’s going to be here over the holidays and offered to pitch in as a bit of a…as a bit of a thank you to County for taking such good care of Doctor Ross. Mark just told me that Doctor Dremmer will be here in an hour or two and we can manage for that long. I was just about to go let Doctor Anspaugh know…”

Carter’s eyes widened, “Doctor Will Dremmer?” he replied in a surprised voice. “I’ve heard of him. He’s done a lot of work in connection with the Carter Family Foundation. He was friends with Gamma for years. She always invited him to Foundation events, but he…he’s never left the West Coast as long as I’ve known of him. However, what he has done is presented at a lot of medical conferences in the West and published a lot of papers. He’s done a lot of good for…”

Kerry paused at that, “I didn’t realize Doctor Dremmer was that famous,” she replied softly.

Carter shrugged, “He doesn’t talk about all that,” he stated gently, his expression solemn as he spoke. “When Gamma used to tell me about him, she always said he was very humble about everything he’s accumulated over time…”

All of a sudden, the curtain around Doug’s bed shifted and Dr. Anspaugh wandered out looking very calm. He immediately paused at seeing Carter, Luka, and Kerry gathered near Nathan’s bed while Nathan slept and quickly came over to see what was going on.

“Don’t you three have work to do?” Dr. Anspaugh queried in a curious voice.

Luka sighed, “I actually need to talk to you in private about starting my paid leave earlier than planned,” he replied softly, his expression solemn as he spoke. “Some things came up…”

“By the way, what’s Nathan doing down here?” Dr. Anspaugh asked curiously, frowning at the very spent looking Nathan. “I thought he was upstairs in Peds? That’s where he was put after…”

Luka suddenly looked tired, “It’s complicated,” he stated grimly. “Needless to say, I am starting my leave right now and if it has to be unpaid for a few days…”

“I also need to talk to you about someone else too,” Carter spoke anxiously. “If you have a sec.”

Deeply mystified, Anspaugh nodded and followed Carter a small distance away. Kerry and Luka watched as Carter and Anspaugh talked for a few minutes before Anspaugh moved off down the hall sporting a worried expression on his face. Carter swallowed hard as he watched Anspaugh go, silently praying that Dale wouldn’t be angry and that Anspaugh would give Dale grace.

Exhaling softly, Edson silently exited the bathroom and set the filled urine cup on the lab cart with one hand while his other held fast to his IV pole, “You okay?” Sam asked quietly. “I can get a chair…”

“I’m the owner of a broken soul, but other than that…” Edson muttered quietly, fighting the urge to roll his eyes at her before he cleared his throat. “I’m...peachy. I could have done this myself.”

Sam eyed him, not believing for a second that he was alright because he still looked so pale, “Doctor Greene would have both our heads if you went to the bathroom unsupervised in your condition,” she replied simply. “Ready to go back to your bed?”

“Why don’t you just tell me where John hid my shoes, and I’ll go home?” Edson grumbled in an irked tone, glaring daggers at Sam. “I’ll be able to eat what I want there and sleep in my own bed where nobody can pick on me and make me keep my coat in a box in the corner of the lounge,”

Sam, however, wasn’t intimidated by the glare, as she knew Edson was only being cranky and trying to push her away cause he was scared and hurting, “I know you’re not feeling well and scared about not feeling well, Doctor Edson, but nobody wants to hurt you,” she replied calmly. “At least I don’t.”

Edson scoffed, but he didn’t fight, protest or pull away when Sam gently took his arm, “I suppose I owe you thanks for letting me stay in my own clothes,” he spoke with a sigh. “A gown would have been…humiliating. It’s bad enough that John stole my shoes when I was sleeping, but…”

As they approached the doorway to Exam Three, Edson suddenly went still and silent when he saw Mark and Anspaugh standing at his assigned bed, “Oh, God,” Edson groaned softly, wondering if he was going to be given his marching orders that moment. “Um…Doctor Anspaugh…I….”

“Doctor Edson, I just had a concerning conversation with Doctor Carter,” Anspaugh spoke in a quiet, but concerned voice, eyeing him worriedly. “He said you’re not feeling well?”

Edson stilled, suddenly ready to kill Carter for blabbing to Anspaugh, but Mark spoke up, “And that is entirely my fault,” Mark spoke up apologetically. “I just put you to work with Carter helping Malucci and forgot to actually treat you with the same respect I do the rest of the ER staff…”

Quickly swallowing his anger, Edson silently looked at the floor and allowed Sam to help him back to bed, “Um, shouldn’t Doctor Romano be a part of this conversation?” he asked quietly, not looking anywhere else but his hands as he laid back on the pillow. “Sorry…sorry if that was…”

“You’re absolutely right,” Dr. Anspaugh replied in a calm, affirming tone, nodding. “Doctor Romano should be a part of this conversation, so we’ll have this particular conversation tomorrow morning in my office between the three of us and Doctor Romano. We shouldn’t have this conversation when you’ve been clearly worked to the bone by Doctor Greene and look so unwell. You can spend the rest of today and tonight getting well under his care. I think that’s a fair arrangement, don’t you, Mark?”

Mark nodded, not daring to offer a word of protest because he felt that was more than fair.

“You can also get Doctor Dremmer to help you tonight when he comes in give some time to County as a thank you for helping Doctor Ross,” Anspaugh continued softly, offering a smile to Edson. “You may not know Doctor Dremmer, Doctor Edson, but on top of being the Chief of Staff and active clinician at University of Washington Medical Center, Doctor Will Dremmer is a highly published medical author, famous presenter at conferences, and philanthropist who works with many medical and non-medical charities, including the Carter Family Foundation. He’s actually quite well off with all the work he’s done, but he uses his wealth to do such good and still works daily…”

Edson stilled at that, his expression growing sad and solemn upon suddenly realizing that Will Dremmer was much more accomplished than him and of a much higher social and professional class than him. As nice and comfortable as Will Dremmer was, Edson suddenly felt so very unworthy of the man and immediately regretted the fact that they had not only exchanged phone numbers, but had made out and had slept together. Exhaling softly, Edson silently closed his eyes.

Mark quickly caught the sadness in Edson’s face and immediately realized that Edson hadn’t known any of that about Dr. Dremmer, “Uh, Doctor Anspaugh, I really do think Doctor Edson needs to rest now,” he commented anxiously. “He needs quiet rest, and we need to finish running our tests.”

A look of understanding appeared on Anspaugh’s face, and he quietly excused himself from the room without saying goodbye. While Sam busied herself reconnecting Edson to the vitals machine, Mark tried to make conversation with Edson to see if he was okay after hearing what he had heard.

Edson, however, remained silent with his eyes closed. For a moment, he lay still.

After a moment, however, tears filled his eyes and he let them fall freely down his face.

For Dale Edson was the owner of a broken soul who had the misfortune of being able to feel his heart shattering into tiny little pieces as he processed what an idiot he truly was for daring to let himself fall in love with someone who he hadn't really known at all.

Chapter Text

It was 6 p.m., snowing, and dark when Elizabeth arrived at the ER with Joe, Rachel, and Ella in tow after initially promising that they could visit Nathan and Lucas after school. They had parked on the street and gone through the ambulance bay because Elizabeth didn’t want the kids getting lost in the parkade and it had been difficult navigating the snowy bay. Yet, they had done it well enough.

But it really couldn’t be helped.

Rachel’s assigned lawyer had phoned the moment they had walked through the door from school pickup and Elizabeth had been kept busy with the call while Rachel had entertained Ella and Joe while avoiding her homework. Rachel had wanted to know about the call, but Elizabeth had gently advised her not to focus on any bad things that her mother and Craig might be throwing their way through their assigned lawyers. Rachel had taken the advice to heart and had instead focused on spending time with Ella and Joe. Ella had quickly gotten the idea that Lucas and Nathan might like cards, so they had made cards in the living room along with a mess.

But Elizabeth hadn’t cared about the mess, as the activity had effectively distracted Rachel and had made her temporarily forget about the bad things that Craig had done to her. And even if it was only temporarily, that was absolutely better than nothing.

And now, they were there to visit Nathan and Lucas up in Peds and hopefully bring cheer to three distressed teens…cheer that they all so desperately seemed to need.

“Elizabeth, what…what’s Nathan doing?” Rachel’s curious voice suddenly broke through the air.

Elizabeth froze at that, looked towards where Rachel was looking, and was stunned to see none other than Nathan laying on a gurney in a curtain area sporting a gown, glasses, a hooded jacket on his shoulders, and a teddy bear in his good arm. Nathan was also laying very still as Carter swabbed the inside of his cheek while Dr. Roger Julian from Genetics watched alongside an apprehensive looking Luka, Dr. Romano and Amy, all of whom were also looking very protective of Nathan.

A few moments passed before Carter removed the swab from Nathan’s cheek, spoke some words to him, and then put the swab in a tube, capped it off, and then sealed it in an envelope before passing it off to Dr. Julian.

It was then that Elizabeth noticed other things: a curtain had been semi-drawn around Nathan’s bed and on the other side of the curtain lay an apprehensive looking Doug Ross, who was in a gurney surrounded by drain containers, tubes, wires, IV’s, blankets, and machines.

Doug was swabbing his cheek the same way Carter had swabbed Nathan’s, but he was completely alone. A moment later, Dr. Julian came by Doug’s bed and spoke with him and also collected the swab in a tube and envelope before leaving. Doug then sighed and closed his eyes.

“Wait…were those DNA tests?” Rachel asked softly, gazing at Elizabeth. “Why were Doug and Nathan…?”

Elizabeth, however, didn’t reply because she was pretty sure she knew what was going on. Luka and Amy hadn’t said anything, but…

All of a sudden, Amy said a few things to Nathan before silently making her way towards Exam One looking very parental. Elizabeth chose that moment to approach with Rachel and Ella and Joe. They weren’t noticed right away, however…

“…If she thinks it would be best for them to share a room until all this can be resolved, I happen to agree with her,” Luka was saying quietly to Carter as they stood near Nathan’s gurney. “She and I both trust Dave with our lives and his. And he’s known Nathan all of his life…”

Dr. Romano, meanwhile, was watching Nathan carefully and shot a glare at Luka and Carter, “Go have this conversation somewhere where you’re not overwhelming him,” he barked sternly, glaring at the two of them. “And see what the hell’s taking Radiology and ENT so long with everything!”

Luka and Carter immediately fell silent and looked apologetic, but Romano immediately waved them away, “Go!” he ordered sternly. “And don’t come back until you have answers.”

As Carter and Luka walked away, both of them looking embarrassed, Dr. Romano suddenly noticed Elizabeth, Rachel, Joe, and Ella there holding cards and offered them smiles before looking at Nathan, but Nathan still looked a little somber and nervous, “Hey Nathan, do you feel up to some visitors?” Dr. Romano asked softly, quickly taking Joe into his arms. “Doctor Corday brought Rachel and Ella and Joe…”

Nathan blinked before nodding and turning his attention to Rachel and Ella, both of whom approached the bed eagerly. While the three of them visited, Dr. Romano moved to stand beside Elizabeth with Joe in his arms and kept half an eye on the situation while quietly updating Elizabeth on the events of the day.

Daniel had finally allowed them to end the call without freaking out. After several hours.

But Dave wasn’t exhausted. Because this was normal for Daniel. At least on a good day.

When Daniel felt happy and safe, he could and would talk for hours about anything and everything and Dave would simply let him. Dave was simply happy that his son was there, able to communicate so well, and was still in remission…

Any time with Daniel that he was able to have, even if it was just a phone call, was so precious to him that he didn’t care that the cell-phone bill would probably amount to hundreds of dollars…

Now that it was over, Dave found himself looking forward to Daniel’s visit on Thanksgiving, as they had agreed that Daniel could visit for a little while. There were rumors that there would be yet another Thanksgiving potluck in the ER, so Jack Carter and Abby would bring Maggie and Daniel, who would wear his mask, for that, get some food, and then go home. Jing-Mei would stay with Dave for as long as she could, but she would also go home for dinner at the mansion later.

“Hey, Dave, are you and Jing-Mei busy in here?” a gentle, very familiar voice suddenly spoke.

Dave looked up from the cell phone still in his hand and smiled when he saw Amy wander into the room, “Hey there, my sis,” he spoke in a tired, but warm voice. “How are you?”

“Um, not so great, actually,” Amy replied softly, giving him a look. “But…I’ll only tell you a bit of it for now. Um…do you remember that party you rescued from about 18 or so years ago? The one where I was drugged and raped?”

Dave paused, suddenly looking somber as he nodded, “Um, it turns out the guy I thought raped me was also drugged by Elton and Elton coerced us to have sex,” Amy spoke in a quiet, slightly shaky voice, giving him a look. “The guy, um, showed up in Chicago to see if Nathan is his son and they have met…completely by accident, I might add. But…now he wants to talk to me and Nathan…and I would rather just wait. Both of them just sent their DNA off to Genetics today and it should be ready by Thanksgiving, but I just want Nathan to be protected til then…”

Dave blinked, suddenly a little confused and concerned, and Amy sighed tiredly, “John’s been testing Nathan for a traumatic brain injury because Nathan’s apparently been showing signs,” she explained in a distressed voice. “All this happened when I was upstairs in Peds having a nap in the room that now belongs solely to Lucas. Um, anyway, that is not something I want to get into...”

Dave suddenly looked very thoughtful as if he knew what point Amy was trying to get to, “Are you looking for somewhere safe for Nathan to be for a while?” he guessed kindly. “There’s room in here…and quiet. Nathan…where is he now?”

“Curtain Area Three, right next to Doug,” Amy spoke with a sigh. “And…Nathan’s just…so overwhelmed over there. It’s near Doug, it’s noisy, and he can’t really…process anything…”

Jing-Mei looked concerned at that and immediately moved over to where the empty set-up was, “We’ll make room right now,” she spoke in a professional tone. “Nathan’s welcome in here.”

Dave immediately looked concerned about the overexertion being bad for the baby, but Jing-Mei gave him a look, “Exercise is good for us,” she replied firmly. “And I can’t think of anyplace safer for Nathan to be right now than with you, his uncle. You may not have the use of your legs, but you’re still able to help him, love him, and help keep him safe with your words.”

Dave was silent for a moment before he nodded, taken aback by Jing-Mei’s affirmations, “Go tell him,” he finally spoke quietly. “I’ll be fine on my own for a minute.”

“Thank you,” Amy responded shakily, gently hugging Dave. “You’re such a good brother.”

Dave nodded and held her tenderly for a moment before releasing her, “I’ll see you in a little bit,” he spoke gently, smiling at her.

Nodding, Amy left, and Jing-Mei smiled lovingly at Dave before following Amy out the door.

“Elizabeth?”

Elizabeth looked over in mid-conversation with Romano, who was now cuddling the heck out of Joe, and frowned when she saw Rachel eyeing Nathan worriedly while Ella sat beside her holding the cards for Nathan and Lucas in her lap. Nathan, meanwhile, was asleep and holding Rocket against his face.

“Um, Nathan just dropped off to sleep as I was talking to him,” Rachel spoke nervously. “Is he okay?”

Elizabeth shrugged, suddenly concerned, “Nathan’s as fine as he’s going to get,” Dr. Romano replied in a quiet, patient voice, knowing full well that the fatigue was probably from the TBI. “Just be kind to him…”

Amy and Jing-Mei suddenly came over to the bed and Amy paused at seeing Nathan asleep, “I really do hate to wake him, but he’s going to become Dave’s roommate tonight,” Amy spoke gently. “It’ll be less overwhelming and safer for him, being around Dave than alone in such a wide-open space...”

Rachel quickly moved herself and Ella back so Amy could approach the bed, “Hey, Nathan, it’s Mom,” Amy whispered softly, gently mussing Nathan’s hair as she came close. “I found you a room where you’re going to go as soon as we can get the manpower to move you. Okay?”

“What?” Nathan asked sleepily, not opening his eyes because the hair mussing relaxed him. “You found a room for me? Where?”

Amy sighed gently, “Exam One,” she replied patiently. “Your Uncle Dave’s graciously agreed to be your roommate. It’s a quiet space and what you need right now is quiet. Okay?”

“Does Uncle Dave care about my TBI?” Nathan asked sleepily. “I freaking hate it.”

Amy gently kissed Nathan’s head, “Your Uncle Dave loves you and wants to help you,” she replied softly.

“Mmkay,” Nathan mumbled sleepily, sighing tiredly. “Is it suppertime yet?”

Elizabeth paused at the mention of a TBI, but Rachel looked confused. Amy, meanwhile, noticed Joe in her father’s arms and Joe held his arms out to her. Dr. Romano gently handed Joe to her where she was, and Amy sighed as she kissed Joe’s face. Joe smiled at that, but stayed quiet.

“I’m not sure, but you can stay resting while I ask, okay?” Amy spoke softly.

Rachel looked at Elizabeth, who motioned for her and Ella to come with her, “Rachel, Ella, let’s go take a walk and get some supper from the cafeteria,” Elizabeth spoke softly.

“Can you check on Erinn and Katie while you’re out and about?” Amy asked softly, gazing at Elizabeth. “Erinn sent me a text a bit ago that they went to the media room to watch movies after the cafeteria. I don’t want them near Lucas right now, so when they’re bored, bring them back to me…”

Elizabeth nodded, frowning at the last part, but she didn’t say anything because Dr. Romano gave her a warning look not to. Nodding, Elizabeth instead embraced Ella and Rachel when they came over to her.

“Elizabeth, would you mind finding some muscle to help move Nathan?” Amy asked softly.

Dr. Romano, meanwhile, suddenly paused when he saw a strange individual sporting dark pants, sneakers, a dark blue dress shirt, lugging a bag over one shoulder and carrying a winter coat wander into the ER and over to the desk with an anxious looking Abby at his heels. Carter and Luka, meanwhile, were at the phones, and didn’t notice them and there didn’t seem to be anyone else around.

“I see some at the desk,” Dr. Romano commented in a stern, but determined tone. “Hold on.”

“…Sir, can I help you?” Abby asked nervously, eyeing Dr. Dremmer as they stood together at the desk. “You walked in with me, but patients usually don’t…”

Dr. Dremmer offered Abby an amused smile, “I’m not a patient,” he replied in a kind tone. “I’m actually looking for Mark Greene…”

“Um, are you his family?” Abby inquired curiously, giving him a look.

Dr. Dremmer chuckled, “No, I was asked to come do a shift tonight,” he replied softly. “It’s…it’s an interesting story, but…”

“Oh, my God, are you…Doctor Will Dremmer?” Carter spoke up, suddenly spotting Dr. Dremmer and Abby standing together. “My God. Gamma was after you for years to come out to Foundation events…”

Dr. Dremmer gave Carter an odd look as Carter approached, “Hi Abby,” Carter spoke warmly, smiling at her briefly. “Abby, this is Doctor Will Dremmer…”

“Oh, we don’t need to get into all that,” Dr. Dremmer cut Carter off softly, offering a polite smile. “Um, Gamma? Are…are you John Carter, by chance? Millicent…she always spoke very highly of you.”

Carter nodded, smiling, “What are you doing out in Chicago, Doctor Dremmer?” he asked eagerly.

“Um, I came to support a friend who got hurt saving a child,” Dr. Dremmer replied quietly, determined to protect Doug’s privacy. “As a thank you to County for helping my friend, I offered to pitch in here and there. Doctor Greene took me up on my offer cause he said one of your staff was sick…”

A look of realization crossed Carter’s face, “Oh, you must be here to cover the rest of Dale’s shift,” he realized in an anxious voice. “I’m waiting on calls from Radiology and ENT, but I was also planning to check on Dale anyway…if you wanted to come with me? Abby, are you working tonight?”

Before Abby could respond, Carter led Dr. Dremmer away like an excited schoolboy who knew a secret that others didn’t. Abby, meanwhile, gazed at Luka, who was on the phone trying to get information about Nathan’s tests and Luka couldn’t help but gaze back.

But neither of them did more than look at each other in silence.

They were too afraid to do or say more.

And then Romano arrived at the desk and began to speak to her, something that immediately attracted Luka’s attention, as it was a request to provide Nathan with some help.

“Doctor Edson, your dinner’s here,” Edson heard Sam say softly as he lay there in a state of semi-sleep. “Dietary just dropped it off.”

Edson frowned as he woke up and stared at her, “What?” he asked groggily. “Dinner?”

“It’s six p.m.” Sam replied patiently, eyeing him worriedly. “You slept all afternoon.”

Edson sighed, “Do you have my labs back?” he asked quietly. “You might as well tell me. It’s bad, isn’t it? I had bad symptoms back when the clinic was opened and almost fainted when I was working there. Doctor Malucci warned me to get a handle on it, but…”

“Do you have a glucagon injection kit?” Sam asked as she showed him the chart. “This…this can be managed better with medicine. By the way, I put you on another IV while you were sleeping. To help raise your blood sugar.”

Edson scoffed, “County insurance won’t cover a kit,” he replied grimly. “I looked into it after Malucci warned me to take better care of myself. I just did what I could with snacks and meals, but there’s not always time to eat on the schedule a surgeon has…”

“You mean the schedule you have?” Sam pressed softly, giving Edson a look. “When I first started here, I heard you were a surgeon of all hours. Like, you were famous for working as many hours as you could, especially after 9/11…”

A grim expression filled Edson’s face, “I had a fiancé die at the Towers,” he replied softly. “Work…it’s all I have to be happy about. I thought I had met someone else who could make me happy, but then I found out they weren’t…”

Two sets of footsteps suddenly filled the air, and Edson promptly closed his eyes, “Make them go away,” he muttered as he returned the chart to Sam, not wanting to entertain anyone’s mockery. “I’m not a sideshow exhibit. Where’s Doctor Greene?”

The footsteps suddenly stopped and Dr. Dremmer’s eyes widened at the two IV’s in Dale’s arm, the cotton ball that indicated blood had been taken, and the vitals machine. Dr Dremmer’s eyes then travelled to the covered dinner tray on the portable table and the chart in the dark-haired nurse’s hands before noting that Dale’s coats, tie, and shoes were under the gurney.

Carter, meanwhile, silently picked up the blanket from the end of the bed along and covered Dale with it, “It’s supposed to get very cold tonight,” he commented softly, sighing as he eyed the untouched tray. “Have you told Dale his dinner’s here?”

“He’s, um, slept all afternoon,” Sam lied softly. “Do you want me to wake him?”

Carter carefully perched himself on the edge of the gurney, “Hey there, Dale,” he spoke gently. “It’s…um…dinnertime. You feel like waking up?”

“I heard two sets of footsteps,” Edson replied softly, not opening his eyes. “Who’s with you?”

Carter sighed, “Oh, that’s Doctor Dremmer,” he explained in a kind voice. “He’s here covering your shift tonight. I invited him to help me check on you. Is that all right?”

Even though Edson was hurt by Dr. Dremmer’s lack of honesty about his wealth and prestigious career, he didn’t have the energy or the desire to really be angry with the bright-eyed, gentle man. He couldn’t be, as he knew Harper wouldn’t have wanted it that way. She would have wanted him to give grace like he expected it.

Exhaling softly, Edson opened his eyes, “My sugar…it was bottoming out,” he replied in a tired voice, absolutely not wanting to mention Tony Malucci’s inappropriate behavior towards him. “I, um, guess I didn’t eat enough. Anspaugh says that he, Doctor Greene, Romano, and I are going to meet in the morning to discuss…things.”

Carter raised an eyebrow at that, “Tonight, I’m sort of stuck here for observation under Doctor Greene’s watch, but I guess he disappeared while I was sleeping,” Edson continued tiredly. “What about you? You…you’re on Days, right?”

“I’m officially off soon, but I can hang here out tonight if you need some friendly support,” Carter offered quietly. “Doctor Romano’s currently pacing around the ER on the warpath, so…”

Dr. Dremmer paused at the mention of Dr. Romano and fear quickly filled Edson’s eyes, something that Carter and Sam noticed, “Oh, I might just eat and then spend the rest of the time sleeping,” Edson spoke in a quiet, barely audible voice. “There’s not a lot that I can do around here without attracting attention...and I don’t want to do that. Jeanie…”

Carter paused, “You knew Jeanie?” he asked quietly, intrigued.

“She worked at the clinic sometimes before she got too sick to work,” Edson replied quietly, unable to look Carter in the eye. “We met. Um, I should probably eat…”

Carter eyed Edson worriedly, “Tell you what, I’ll go to the hospital library before I go and get you something to help you pass the time,” he spoke calmly as he got up. “All right? Hang in there.”

As Carter left the room, he made a little ‘go ahead’ motion to Dr. Dremmer that only Sam noticed, “Uh, hi,” Dr. Dremmer spoke softly as he approached the bed and sat down in a chair that was beside the bed. “I’m sorry you’re not well…”

“Thank you,” Edson replied softly as he slowly sat up. “So, um, you’re Doctor Dremmer? Why don’t you tell me a bit about yourself? I’m Doctor Dale Edson. I work…at County. I just sort of…got sick…”

Sam silently moved the portable table so it was right in front of Edson, “Glucose check first,” she spoke softly. “You wanna use your machine or the hospital’s?”

“Might as well use the hospital’s,” Edson replied softly. “Romano will expect me to after tomorrow.”

Sam nodded, “I’ll get it and come back,” she replied calmly. “Don’t eat quite yet, okay?”

Once Sam was gone, Edson silently reached out for Dr. Dremmer’s hand and Dr. Dremmer took it, “We gotta be careful with Romano lurking,” he spoke softly, stroking the man’s hand. “But…this…this is okay.”

“What the hell happened between this morning and now?” Dr. Dremmer asked in a quiet, worried voice, eyeing him worriedly. “You were fine after breakfast. Did you have lunch?”

Edson sighed, “I honestly don’t remember,” he replied softly, disarmed by the man’s bright eyes. “And um…I was calling a patient’s family member earlier and they got inappropriate with me. It stressed me out. Must have dropped my sugar without me realizing it.”

“Did you tell your supervisor?” Dr. Dremmer asked worriedly. “Who is that, anyway?”

Edson sighed, “I’m not exactly sure they’d care,” he replied grimly, sighing. I’m, um, facing a disciplinary review in January where I could lose my license. I might just quit after Thanksgiving because it’s getting to be too hard to be in a place where I’m constantly mocked and where I don’t even have a locker or a schedule. I sold half of what I had to help pay for a community clinic that no longer exists because some psycho destroyed it by driving into it with a semi-truck last New Year’s Eve…”

Dr. Dremmer’s eyes widened in shock, “You worked at that clinic?” he asked in a quiet, but shocked tone. “My God, that made the news all the way out in Seattle…”

“I was supposed to volunteer that day, but I woke up that morning with an attack, so I stayed home and rested, and kept my TV and the phone off cause my headache was so bad,” Edson spoke quietly, suddenly feeling shaky. “Oh…I need to lie back down…now. I’m feeling a little shaky.”

Without hesitation, Dr. Dremmer gently helped Edson lie back down as Sam came back into the room with the monitor. She paused and watched as Dr. Dremmer gently brushed Edson’s messy hair off his forehead before smiling reassuringly at him. Edson offered a faint smile before sighing tiredly, “Someone’s in the room,” he murmured softly. “We have to be careful.”

Dr. Dremmer silently offered a small nod while he acted like he was checking for a fever with his hand, “Just the shakiness then?” he asked in a professional tone. “You don’t seem to have a fever. You might just need actual food.”

Sam chose that moment to return to their view with the monitor and she didn’t comment while she did a glucose check, “Still low,” she commented softly. “How about you eat, wait a bit, and we’ll do another check?”

“The stress of the day may have been a bit much,” Edson spoke softly, exhaling tiredly. “I, um, got some inappropriate, slightly threatening language thrown at me by a patient’s family on the phone…”

Sam paused, “Did you talk to Doctor Greene and file an incident report?” she asked in a protective tone. “Since the shooting on Halloween, it’s become mandatory for any sort of inappropriate behavior in the ER to be reported to supervisors and anyone involved has to fill out an incident report. Did you not get that memo?”

“I’ve been down here for less than a week,” Edson replied nervously, suddenly feeling self-conscious enough to look away from Dr. Dremmer. “And I haven’t really…I haven’t been briefed on anything or given any sort of Orientation. I was just put to work helping John with Doctor Malucci and now that Doctor Malucci’s over the worst, I’ve just sort of been drifting and trying to…not lose my mind keeping him safe…”

Sam frowned at that, as did Dr. Dremmer, “That…that is an interesting comment,” Sam spoke in a concerned tone, wondering what the hell that meant. “Anyway, you, um, wanna try eating a bit?”

Edson slowly sat up again and slowly pulled the food closer while keeping his head down, “If you have things to do, I’m fine on my own,” he spoke quietly. “I’m sure Doctor Greene will be along.”

“He asked that you stay supervised,” Sam replied softly. “Him and Doctor Carter both.”

Edson scoffed, “I can do it,” Dr. Dremmer offered softly. “I don’t mind.”

Sam was silent for a moment before nodding, fully intending to search for Mark and grab an incident report from the desk while she was out because she could tell something bad had happened that Edson wasn’t speaking about. As she left the room, however, she quietly bent down and stole Edson’s phone from his coat, determined to do a little detective work of her own into who had been threatening him because she took threats against colleagues seriously.

“This isn’t exactly what I imagined when I said we’d have dinner together tonight,” Edson spoke in a tired voice, keeping his head down once Sam was out of the room. “Um…I’m not feeling up to doing much besides eating, unfortunately. I don’t even feel like talking.”

Dr. Dremmer silently put the feeding apron around Dale’s neck and smoothed it down against his shirt, “Well, we can just focus on dinner, then,” he replied gently, realizing something bad had happened to Dale between earlier and now that had badly affected the man. “All right? Did…did you wanna look at me so I can help you eat? Please?”

Edson looked up and immediately, Dr. Dremmer could see sadness and anxiety in his eyes, but he didn’t comment because he could tell that comments weren’t wanted, “Okay,” Dr. Dremmer spoke softly, turning his attention to the covered tray. “Let’s see what we’re having for dinner tonight.”

“…Doug?”

Doug frowned at the sound of Mark’s voice, but continued to listen to the voices coming from the curtained off area next to him.

“Doug, what are you doing?” Doug heard the voice again. “And where’s Carol?”

Doug turned his head towards Mark and saw that Mark had food bags with him, “Carol went over to my mom’s for a rest and to spend time with the girls,” he replied in a tired, quiet voice. “Um, I was just eavesdropping. I…I guess Amy’s mad that Nathan and I talked earlier. She’s wanting Nathan moved to a room where his ‘Uncle Dave’ is. Whoever that is. Anyway, they are eating dinner now…Nathan and his mother and I am not supposed to know any of this, but…she is quite…angry.”

Mark’s eyes widened, “By the way, we did the DNA tests, and the results should be ready by Thanksgiving,” Doug continued quietly. “Nathan pretty much demanded to be allowed to do it and they just let him, but his mom…she doesn’t want him talking to me anymore until it’s…”

“Which is pretty reasonable,” Mark finished softly. “I know you’re anxious about this, but…”

Doug sighed, “I don’t want her to think I’m responsible for what happened,” he replied softly, looking grim. “Anspaugh…he says it wasn’t my fault, but…I feel responsible because I chose to trust someone…questionable. I let Elton give me a drink…and I didn’t check it. And…and now…”

Mark sat by the bed and silently set the food, which was more soup and water, out on the portable tray, “I’m actually not that hungry right now,” Doug spoke quietly, looking at the blanket in sadness. “I’d just like to be alone to think.”

“I’ll check back in a bit,” Mark replied gently, standing up. “All right?”

Doug didn’t respond and continued to look at the blanket in sadness, so Mark simply let him be and moved on next door. Next door, on the other side of the curtain, Amy was sitting alone beside the gurney where Nathan lay and she was feeding him a dinner of turkey soup with one hand while gently stroking his face and hair with the other and talking to him. He looked uneasy.

“…I totally freaked her out…” Nathan spoke quietly, sighing. “I just dropped off to sleep when she and Ella were here and in the middle of talking to me and it scared the hell out of both of them. I didn’t mean to…”

Mark paused, “No, honey, it didn’t,” Amy spoke gently. “It’s suppertime. They’re probably just off eating supper. Which is what you should be doing too…”

“Um, when are they moving me to Uncle Dave’s room?” Nathan asked softly. “After supper?”

Amy sighed, “I technically don’t know,” she explained gently. “I don’t have any authority at the hospital until after Thanksgiving, so I asked your dad and grandpa to talk to someone who…”

“How’s it going over here?” Mark cut in quietly. “I heard you were looking to move Nathan?”

Amy gave Mark a look, “I want Nathan in with Dave and away from the drama with Doug and the crap with Lucas,” she spoke firmly, scowling. “Nathan doesn’t need any of the stress and I’ve already talked to Dave and Doctor Chen about it. Luka and Abby are in the lounge talking to my father about it now. Peds…Peds literally wants to blame Nathan for this morning and for Lucas’s violent behavior…”

Mark’s eyes narrowed, but Amy turned her attention back to Nathan and fed him some more soup, “Nathan will be much happier in Dave’s room where he can feel safe,” she spoke gently.

“Um, Doctor Greene, can…can you apologize to Rachel and Ella for me?” Nathan suddenly spoke between bites, frowning fearfully as he did so. “I, um, fell asleep when they were here talking to me. I didn’t mean to…”

Before Mark, who was very confused as to why Nathan was apologizing, could speak, however, Amy shook her head at him, “No,” she spoke gently. “You’re not going to do that. Okay? You’re not going to apologize...”

“But my traumatic brain injury…it made me tired,” Nathan spoke shakily, suddenly looking scared. “Doctor Carter said earlier I might have one and that’s why I had to have the MRI…”

Amy sighed and gently kissed his forehead, “And that is not your fault,” she replied softly. “That is an injury caused by a violent blow to the head. That’s not your fault, my love. You will not apologize for something that is not your fault, okay?”

“Hey, Nathan, I…I, um, can understand how scared you must be right now with your brain not making a lot of sense to you,” Mark commented gently. “I had a couple of brain tumors removed a while back and I can tell you, my brain…it didn’t make a lot of sense to me either for a while after…”

Relief filled Amy’s soul as she saw Nathan eye Mark with an expression of calmness on his face, “So Rachel…she won’t be mad at me for falling asleep on her?” he asked softly. “Or my brain injury?”

“The results aren’t back yet,” Amy spoke gently. “So we’re not going to worry about it right now. We’re just going to finish your dinner and then focus on moving you to Exam One…”

Nathan sighed, but nodded, “Where’s Carter?” Mark asked quietly. “He’s Nathan’s doctor, right?”

“He and my dad…they were on the phones earlier…speaking quite…loudly,” Nathan spoke quietly. “And then they said something about backups and then Grandpa Rocket came and grabbed Dad and Doctor Carter’s wife while Doctor Carter went off with some strange guy. I heard something about Doctor Edson in Exam Three?”

Mark froze at that, and Amy frowned, but before either of them could speak, they spotted Sam at the desk gathering some forms while talking to Frank. The two of them looked concerned about something. Mark couldn’t help himself: he quickly made his way over to the desk.

“…Call the police and have them send an officer over, but don’t say why,” Sam was telling Frank in a low voice. “Maybe Doctor Dremmer can get Doctor Edson to talk. Also, can you help me look through this?”

Mark’s eyes widened in shock when he saw Sam pull a cell phone out of her pocket that had Dale’s name on it, “Is…is that Doctor Edson’s cell phone, Nurse Taggart?” he asked sternly. “Why do you have it?”

“Cause Doctor Edson mentioned that a patient’s family was inappropriate with him on the phone and threatened him,” Sam commented softly as she accessed it and began looking through ‘Recent Outgoing Calls. “Hm…Garden Vista? What’s that?”

Mark’s eyes narrowed and Frank paused, “That’s…that’s a retirement community in Hyde Park,” Mark spoke, remembering what Malucci had written about his father days ago back when he had used a whiteboard to communicate. “Oh, God.”

“Should I call the police?” Frank pressed worriedly.

Instead of responding, however, Mark snatched the phone from Sam and speedwalked off towards Exam Three in an anxious silence, “Yeah,” Sam replied, her tone grim. “Call the cops.”

“I must have been hungrier than I realized,” Edson commented softly as he eyed the plate from dietary that was now empty. “I hope I keep it down.”

Dr. Dremmer sighed gently as he set the silverware back on the tray, “You might if you’re willing to talk about what made you so sick in a matter of hours,” he replied patiently. “You said something about a threatening phone call?”

“And a special friend who was quiet about who he really was,” Edson spoke before he could stop himself. “I heard John and…others…talk about your wealth and…accolades.”

Dr. Dremmer paused, “I’m sorry,” he spoke apologetically, offering an apologetic look. “I do not enjoy bragging about myself. I’m actually quite a hermit who rarely leaves the West Coast and…”

“For Christ sakes, Will, I am in love with you,” Edson blurted out, giving him a look. “I am in love with you, but then I heard you’re socializing with the likes of the Carter Family Foundation and have accolades and a medical street rat like me who is unworthy of even the smallest of courtesies…”

Dr. Dremmer scowled at him, “Excuse me?!” he replied coldly, giving Edson a steel glare. “What the hell is that nickname? That nasty nickname?! Medical street rat?! That’s offensive!”

“Well, I can hardly call myself a surgeon right now, can I?” Edson argued back. “I’m nothing more than medical waste…”

Dr. Dremmer suddenly reached up and gently stroked his face, an act which caused Edson to go very still and lock eyes with him, “I’m in love with you too, Dale, but not when you talk about yourself in such a disgusting way,” he spoke in a quiet, but stern tone, raising an eyebrow at him. “How about you apologize for that, hmm?”

“I…I apologize,” Edson replied in a voice barely above a whisper. “Sincerely. I…I won’t talk about myself like I’m waste…”

Dr. Dremmer nodded, “Good,” he replied softly, gently stroking Dale’s cheek like it were precious treasure. “You know what? All of those accolades. All that money. They allow me to exist comfortably, but they don’t mean I’m living. You, Dale Edson, make me feel…alive. You’re the first…since my wife was killed…to make me feel that way. And I know we just barely met, but still. I…I…”

“Footsteps,” Edson warned in a slightly breathless voice even though he was enamored by Will’s words.

Dr. Dremmer nodded and stopped what he was doing, “You don’t seem to be sweating anymore or trembling,” he spoke in a more formal tone. “The food must have helped.”

Mark, who had been at the doorway hearing and witnessing their intimate moment, looked amused at that, but continued on as if he hadn’t seen anything, “Hey, Doctor Edson, can we talk for a minute?” he asked in a kind, but concerned tone as he approached the bed.

Edson sighed, “Whatever you might have seen…” he began nervously. “I…”

“I didn’t see anything,” Mark spoke calmly. “At least nothing dangerous. I simply saw Doctor Dremmer taking care of a patient, which is what he offered to help do tonight. Right?”

Dr. Dremmer looked amused, but Edson nodded, his expression surprised as he looked at Mark, “Right,” Edson replied softly. “Um…what did you want to talk about?”

Mark showed Edson the phone, “This,” he replied softly. “And some threats I heard you got on the phone…”

The lounge was quiet…at least it felt quiet to Abby as she sat there, silently listening to Romano and Luka talk about moving Nathan into Dave’s room and establishing a schedule where someone could be there for both of them around the clock.

Her attention, while supposed to be on the conversation, was actually on Luka’s lap…where Joe sat, happily chewing on a toy and blissfully unaware of the world. He was unaware of the world. He seemed slightly delayed for his age…

And Abby knew that was her fault.

Joe had been unconscious in the tub for God knows how long and his brain had suffered oxygen deprivation…all while she had spent her moments, moments where she should have been caring for him, enjoying time in the bottom of a bottle of booze.

“Abby?”

Sadness filled Abby and she didn’t respond for a moment. She only continued looking at Joe and silently praying to God that Amy, who had adopted Joe soon after Amy and Luka had married on Valentine’s Day, was being a good mother to him…

Exhaling softly, Abby blinked and paused when she realized Dr. Romano and Luka were staring at her, both of them sporting concerned looks on their faces. Swallowing hard, Abby silently got to her feet, “Um, what’s…what’s Joe doing in here?” she asked in a nervous voice.

“I took him so Amy could feed Nathan supper and spend time with him while Erinn and Katie are off at the media room with Haleh and Lucas is upstairs” Luka replied softly, eyeing her worriedly. “Is that a problem?”

Abby exhaled anxiously, “In all honesty?” she replied nervously. “I almost killed Joe. And you’re sitting here with him like it’s nothing anymore, but I can tell he’s got delays. Delays that I caused because I left him in the bathtub unsupervised while I was drinking!”

Dr. Romano paused and Luka sighed, “I already forgave you for that the day of the shooting and recently, when I told Doctor Anspaugh to give you some of my work hours,” Luka stated softly, offering her a look. “Yes, Joe has some delays, but he’s in a good school program and he’s doing well. He’s happy…”

“How are you so relaxed about this?” Abby asked in a confused voice. “I almost killed our son, Luka…and you’ve got him in here…sitting with us like…like it’s nothing.”

Luka paused, giving her a concerned look, “Have you…have you talked to anyone about how you feel?” he asked quietly. “Even to Carter?”

“I walk the grounds at night sometimes in grief,” Abby replied somberly, stilling. “I’m grateful that I have Maggie, but I wouldn’t have even had a chance at being a mother again if it weren’t for Dave going to Adele and speaking for John and I because I know he did that when John was in the hospital. I guess…I guess I just feel unworthy of the good things I have now…”

Luka looked stunned and Dr. Romano sighed, “Well, people who make mistakes are very much worthy of redemption,” Dr. Romano spoke in an unusually kind tone. “Case in point. Me. I used to be…a cruel human being who hurt everyone I came into contact with…”

“I think your family would disagree,” Abby interrupted in a surprised voice, gaping at him.

Dr. Romano smirked, “That said, perhaps how we see ourselves isn’t always accurate?” he spoke in an amused tone. “Wouldn’t you agree?”

Abby stilled, but she found herself nodding at Dr. Romano’s logic and Dr. Romano offered her a smirk before sighing, “Anyway, as I was saying, Doctor Kovac and I want to draw up a schedule of trustworthy people to keep Dave and Nathan company in Exam One until after Thanksgiving at which point Dave is scheduled to be moved to the rehabilitation floor and Nathan is scheduled to go home.”

“Um, how often would you like me to be on the schedule for?” Abby asked quietly. “Right now, I’m scheduled to work nights in the ER because John can’t unless there’s an emergency situation. He got really tired from the three days he spent here with Dave, and we decided that he can’t do nightshifts for a while…maybe ever again. His body can’t handle it…”

Luka looked a little concerned about that, but Abby gave him a look, “I told Doctor Anspaugh I was fine doing your nightshifts,” she replied firmly. “Okay?”

“Okay,” Luka agreed, nodding.

Dr. Romano sighed, “For now, why don’t you both help me move Nathan to his new room?” he suggested calmly. “We can discuss the scheduling with Greene later.”

Nodding, Luka got up and moved Joe to his shoulder while Romano got up. Romano, Abby, and Luka moved out of the lounge just in time to see a uniformed Reggie stride up to the door and knock.

Deeply confused, Dr. Romano moved to the door and pressed the entry button, “Officer Moore, what brings you here tonight?” he asked in a formal tone, frowning because he was worried that Luka had decided to press charges against Lucas after all.

“I got a call…” Reggie began as Mark suddenly came hurrying down the hall towards them. “Doctor Greene?”

Mark exhaled anxiously, “Nurse Taggart just told me that she had Frank call the police,” he explained in a quiet, but anxious voice. “I think Doctor Edson will talk…as long as you…”

Dr. Romano’s eyes widened, “Excuse me?” he cut in sternly. “Why the hell does Edson need the police?”

“It’s complicated to explain,” Mark replied reluctantly, suddenly looking nervous. “Um…”

Dr. Romano scoffed before looking at Luka and Abby, “Go see to Nathan,” he ordered firmly. “I swear to God, Greene. You had better start talking…”

Not wanting to get in the middle of Mark and Romano’s discussion, Luka and Abby quietly dismissed themselves to the curtain area where Nathan’s bed was. To their surprise, Amy was laying next to Nathan on the gurney and holding him and an iSpy book while Rocket lay on Nathan’s chest. From what Luka and Abby could tell, Amy and Nathan were working through one of the puzzles together. Or…at least Nathan was trying to, but he was visibly tired and struggling to stay focused and awake and Amy was watching him more than she was focused on the book.

“Hey, sweetie, why don’t we do more of this later, hmm?” Amy spoke gently, offering a sleepy smile that Luka knew to be fake. “I think we’re both getting a bit tired. It’s been a long day for both of us. Right?”

Nathan sighed and responded by snuggling against her and closing his eyes. Amy silently closed the book and deposited it on the portable tray before she looked up at Luka and Abby, “We can move him to Exam One any time you’re both ready,” Abby spoke gently. “Do you or he need time?”

“Hey, Nathan, we’re going to move you now,” Amy spoke softly. “Is it okay if I get up?”

Nathan exhaled, “Do you have to?” he mumbled weakly. “I kinda need my mom right now.”

“I don’t have to,” Amy replied softly. “Do you want me to stay with you while you’re moved?”

Nathan sighed, “Mhm,” he mumbled sleepily.

As Luka figured out what to do with Joe so he could help move the gurney, Carter suddenly came into view carrying a plastic bag in of things from the library he had gotten for both Dale and Nathan in one hand and a stuffed folder in the other. He immediately paused upon seeing Amy holding a sleeping Nathan, but his concern eased a bit when he saw the empty food tray.

“I finally got answers from Radiology,” Carter spoke quietly. “ENT will be down soon…”

Amy sighed, “We’ll talk about it after Nathan is moved, John,” she spoke in a quiet, but firm voice, giving him a look because she didn’t want Doug overhearing anything, as he didn’t have a right to know anything about Nathan’s health until DNA confirmed his relation to Nathan. “I think we should just get it done right away, okay? I’ll be staying on the gurney with him…at his request. If you and Abby could please just…get on with it?”

Carter raised an eyebrow at that, but he knew better than to question Amy’s parenting, especially where Nathan was concerned, as he knew very well that Amy was very protective over him because of his past struggles, some of which he had seen himself and some of which she had confided in him when they had dated briefly. Knowing all that, he simply nodded and began to gather Nathan’s things from the floor

The first thing that Dr. Romano noticed when he moved into the doorway of the shadow-filled Exam Three was a male doctor sitting beside the bed where he was told Dale Edson had been laid up with a severe hypoglycemia attack, but…the male doctor was holding Edson’s hand.

Unable to help himself, Romano smirked. He knew that Maggie Doyle was very much a lesbian and that Edson had been only using her as a cover story. Instead of storming in and ripping both Edson and the other doctor to shreds, however, Romano simply stood there, silently lost in thought about Amy’s mother.

Him and Amy's mother, Sarah, had been briefly married and had gotten married because Sarah had gotten pregnant with Amy out of wedlock and Robert believed in doing the honorable thing. Not long after Amy was talking, however, Sarah had filed for divorce and had never told him why. Robert had quickly found out why and Sarah had been open about her romantic partner when he had asked questions about her. Robert hadn’t been able to live with the shame of Sarah dumping him for another woman for years, but he had never denied her access to their daughter. He had only asked Sarah that they not involve Valerie, Sarah’s partner, in Amy’s life and that he raise Amy full-time himself. Sarah had initially protested, but Romano had…God, he had been cruel…perhaps too cruel.

Romano stilled as he remembered that he had threatened to tell the courts of Sarah’s lesbian lifestyle if he wasn’t granted full custody of Amy and Sarah had relented. Valerie had tried to intervene, but Robert had threatened to withhold visits from Sarah if she and Valerie didn’t both back off. And so they had eventually come to an arrangement: Sarah would spend time with Valerie when Amy was with her father and when Robert and Amy were ‘in town,’ Valerie would ‘disappear.’ And Robert, Sarah, and Amy would pretend to be a nuclear family, but Robert always camped on Sarah's couch when he and Amy visited Europe.

The arrangement had worked until Sarah had gotten sick. Valerie had wanted to be there for Sarah in her illness, but Amy had wanted to spend time with her daughter while she could. Robert had brought Amy immediately and had not so subtly warned Valerie off for both Sarah’s dying days and the funeral. Romano had then buried Sarah in Chicago, and they had moved on…all of them.

But now…Romano was filled with regret. He was still very angry at Valerie for stealing Sarah away from Amy, as girls needed their mothers, but…he had taken his anger out on people like Maggie Doyle, Kim Legaspi…and had been quietly angry at Kerry for years. All because of Valerie and Sarah…or what they had robbed him and Amy of. He didn't know how he felt about homosexuality to this day because of Sarah and Valerie, but he had abused perfectly decent people because of his hurt, which is something he had vowed never to do upon taking Dave Malucci into his home as a foster child. Dave had been abused by his biological father because the man was hurt and Robert had vowed never to do that sort of thing, but...he had done exactly that.

Footsteps filled the air at that point and Romano heard Edson mutter, “Footsteps,” in a tired voice.

The hand holding suddenly ceased and Romano couldn’t help but move away from the door at a quick pace. His fear had caused fear. He was the monster he promised to never become.

Someone was calling his name, but Romano didn’t stop. Up the stairs he went. As far as he could go. Before he realized it, he was on the roof of the hospital. The same roof where he had gotten his arm chopped off by helicopter rotors. The chopper…God, he couldn’t think. His head hurt, his chest hurt…everything hurt…and he didn’t know how to make it stop…and it was too cold to stay up there long, but he couldn’t move. He couldn’t move. All he could do was…remember. Remember everything…even the stuff that he didn’t want to remember. He felt so overwhelmed.

Exhaling anxiously, Romano sank against the door, rested his head against the cold metal, and succumbed to his mounting anxiety.

All of a sudden, Romano felt himself in a state of spontaneous freefall.

“Hey there, roomie,” Dave spoke softly, offering Nathan a smile from his bed as he watched Carter and Abby wheel the gurney containing a sleeping Nathan and a protective looking Amy into Exam One. “I take it Nathan’s…in one of his spells?”

Amy nodded at Dave, “I think he’s asleep now, though,” she spoke softly, sighing as she got up off the gurney and gently moved Rocket to Nathan’s arm before covering them both up better. “Luka, if you want to take Joe, Katie, and Erinn home whenever Katie and Erinn are ready…”

“Do you promise not to get in a brawl with Doctor Ross?” Carter asked worriedly, giving her a look.

Amy gaped at Carter as if she couldn’t believe he had said that, “Doctor Ross and I have absolutely no reason to speak until the DNA results come back,” she replied coldly. “He knows I am grateful that he rescued Lucas, but I don’t owe him anything else right now. I didn’t even intend for Doctor Ross and Nathan to meet…”

“…Mom?” Nathan mumbled sleepily, not opening his eyes. “Am I moved yet?”

Amy sighed, glaring daggers at Carter as she turned her attention to Nathan, “Yup, but that does not mean you have to do anything,” she replied gently. “I’m just going to unpack your stuff and put your workbooks and stuff within reach...”

“Do I need to do the exercises before bed?” Nathan asked sleepily. “That’s…the routine.”

Carter and Luka froze at that, but Dave looked non-plussed, “No, honey, we will do those again when Doctor Carter or Peds clear you for physio,” Amy replied patiently. “And the iSpy book…that was a little bit of the cognitive. You found the stuff and then you told me what it was and what it did. It’s time to sleep now, okay?”

A quiet snore filled the air, “When I’m up on the rehab floor, send him to me and I’ll lead him through the stuff,” Dave offered softly, looking at her. “It’ll do us both some good if I can at least teach someone.”

“You could even do that tomorrow when I take some time to be at home,” Amy replied patiently, smiling back at him. “He can sit in a wheelchair beside your bed and you can help him with the books…”

Carter frowned, “Wait…you’re both acting like this…like you already know what I’m going to tell you,” he spoke anxiously. “Did Nathan have a TBI before I put him through the MRI?”

“I tried to get him tested for that after he assaulted you at the clinic, John, but my God…the waitlists are long unless it’s an emergency and not a lot of teachers or doctors have patience with children who exhibit signs of neurodivergency,” Amy replied in a quiet voice. “I also tried to get him assessed for learning disabilities, but the school hinted it was more my problem than his and even speculated that Social Services might be able to better solve the problems I seemed to be creating. They basically blamed me for Nathan acting out and not being...”

Luka tensed at that and Carter looked appalled, but Dave simply looked pissed, as he had joined Amy at the school more than once trying to get help for Nathan that had simply been denied and had witnessed the school and medical systems threaten his friend with Social Services investigations if she didn't go away. The threats had caused Amy to back down and simply do things herself and Dave found himself feeling very fortunate that he was related to Carter, who had money and connections to help make sure Daniel got what he needed to survive in the neurotypical world.

“...Anyway, I wasn’t going to get help from any system with Nathan, so I just watched him like a hawk and had him work with Dave, Jeanie, and I as much as I could and made arrangements where he’d be with me or trusted people when he wasn’t in school," Amy continued in an anxious voice, sighing at Carter. "I’m glad there’s documentation now, though. I mean…I have documentation of his failed appointments and the crap that others said, but…now that we have a diagnosis…that’s what we have, right?”

Carter nodded and offered her the chart, which she took immediately, and he quickly collected the library bag, “Luka, you wanna see this?” Amy spoke softly. “He’s your son too, after all.”

Luka silently carried Joe over to Amy to look at the chart himself and Carter moved back towards Dave’s bed, “How are you doing?” Carter spoke softly. “Where’s Deb?”

“Bathroom,” Dave replied softly. “And possibly the cafeteria. Baby’s hungry. Um…about the rehab…”

Carter scoffed gently patting Dave’s hand, “Don’t worry about it,” he spoke gently. “We’ll do what we can for you when you get moved up there. I’ve seen the room. It’s got a window with a nice view and I’m going to be up there whenever I can be. Speaking of rehab, you wanna do the leg exercises one more time before I go for the night?”

“Why not?” Dave replied with a sigh even though he thought the idea a waste of time. “It’ll pass time if anything else. It’s been…God…close to a month since I last felt my legs. I’ve lost track of days…”

Instead of offering words of comfort, however, Carter simply got on with the leg exercises, as Dave didn’t look like he would necessarily enjoy any well-intended words of comfort. As Carter worked, he didn’t notice the strange expression on Dave’s face. What Dave wasn’t saying was that the toes on his left foot…they could feel…something…sensations…vague sensations.

“…Doctor Kovac, Doctor Romano’s unconscious up on the roof…”

Silence filled the air as Amy, Abby, Luka, Dave, and John stared at the door where Frank stood, “I just got a call from upstairs and Maintenance says Doctor Romano’s unconscious on the roof,” Frank repeated in a quieter tone. “I sent Doctor Greene up there along with the cop that was here for Doctor Edson…”

“Wait, a cop was here for Dale?” Carter asked worriedly, frowning. “Why?”

Frank shrugged, “The cop’s headed to the roof now,” he replied simply. “But Doctor Greene thought that Doctor Kovac…Doctor Amy Kovac…”

“Why the hell was Doctor Romano on the roof?” Dave asked in a quiet, but worried voice, his eyes wide with fear.

Luka immediately wondered if the third shooter had somehow gotten inside to try and finish what they started, quickly handed Joe to Amy, “I’ll go,” he replied firmly. “I want you to stay here.”

In a flash, Luka was gone and Amy looked deeply concerned, but she simply sat at Nathan’s bedside, holding Joe in her arms. Abby immediately sat next to them in an attempt to provide comfort.

“Was Doctor Romano attacked?” Dave asked in a slightly concerned voice, staring at him wide-eyed. “I…”

Carter gave the end of Dave’s left foot a gentle squeeze, “You’ve got enough worries right now, Dave,” he responded gently. “I…”

Dave glared at him briefly before pausing and looking at his foot, “Can…can you do that again?” he asked nervously. “Squeeze my foot?”

Carter stilled, as did Amy, “What?” Carter questioned, certain he hadn’t heard right.

“My foot…it’s feeling funny,” Dave replied in a nervous voice. “My toes, specifically…”

Carter gaped at him briefly and then immediately went for the phone to have Elizabeth paged, as she had been asked to stay on as Dave’s doctor even when he had been in the ICU and after he had been moved to the ER. She would want to know about and investigate this latest development.

“…Doctor Romano? Oh, my God!”

Voices, lights, and cold…all of it flooded Dr. Romano’s mind as he slowly came to and found himself laying on a hard surface.

But instead of the sound of the rotors overshadowing over everything, the night was still.

As much as Dr. Romano simply wanted to get up and go back downstairs, he felt too cold and cloudy to move. Plus, everything still hurt from his ‘freefall experience.’

All of a sudden, however, he felt himself being gently rolled, lifted, and moved.

The sound of wheels, elevator noises, and talking filled Romano’s ears even more for what seemed like an eternity. Then, he suddenly found himself bathed in light and surrounded by endless noise.

“…God, whoever got him…look at his head…”

As Dr. Romano lay there in the trauma room on a gurney that he, Mark, and several nurses had hauled to and from the roof, held in place by a backboard and neck collar, Luka swore quietly when he noticed a bruise on the back of the man’s head.

“Get vitals and get him warmed up,” Mark ordered firmly, suddenly anxious because he was now reminded of his own attack years ago. “I’m locking the ER down. Whoever got him can’t have gotten far.”

Now filled with anxiety, Mark strode from the room and over to the desk just in time to see an annoyed looking, half-awake Edson slowly shuffle down the hallway clinging to his IV pole for dear life while sporting only his socks, pants, and his rumpled dress shirt. He looked tired and ready to leave. Sam and Dr. Dremmer, meanwhile, were tailing him and trying to stop him from leaving and going out into the snow without his shoes and coat.

Edson scoffed at Mark as he approached the desk, “Get me freaking cab and get this crap out of my arm,” he grumbled irritably. “I can’t believe you all called the police just because Malucci’s father was inappropriate with me on the phone! I’m an adult and can handle myself just fine with that idiot! It’s not like he hasn’t behaved that way towards me before!”

Mark froze at that, as did the approaching Sam and Dr. Dremmer, “What are you staring at?” Edson snapped, more than a little pissed off at the man’s vacant expression. “By the way, I was thinking of quitting after Thanksgiving because of the lack of a locker and the lack of dignity I’ve been given since I got terfed down here. Well, the meetings I’ve got coming up and the calling the police thing…without my permission, I might add…that just sealed the deal. I’m gonna call in my notice in in the morning after I go home and sleep in my own bed!”

Mark, however, didn’t reply and suddenly looked past Edson towards Exam One at Carter, who had suddenly come out of the room to look for assistance with Dave. Carter had heard Edson’s yelling and was suddenly looking horrified at what he had overheard, but Edson silently turned and moved out into Chairs before anyone could stop him.

Dr. Dremmer, fortunately, was quick and got between Edson and the main front doors and Sam caught up to them soon after, much to the amusement of those currently waiting in Chairs.

“Uh, Doctor Greene, do you know where Doctor Corday is?” Carter asked in a concerned voice, quickly looking at Mark. “Dave…he’s feeling things in his toes and I…”

Mark’s eyes widened in shock, “John!” Edson suddenly yelled, turning to face the desk despite the fact that Dr. Dremmer and Sam were both trying to talk to him. “Where the hell did you hide my shoes?! I want to go home to my own bed and away from these idiots…”

“What exactly did Dale say about Dave’s father?” Carter asked anxiously, frowning at Mark worriedly.

Mark sighed heavily, “Can you handle it, whatever it is?” he asked worriedly. “I have to lock the ER down,” he replied in a grim tone. “Doctor Romano was found unconscious on the roof with a bruise on his head and hypothermia. The third shooter from Halloween was never found and I’m worried that whoever they are…they came to finish what they started and came across Romano…”

Carter’s eyes widened in shock, “The roof?!” he asked in a stunned voice. “They must have met him somewhere in the hospital and dragged him up there, knocked him out, and…um, Doctor Greene, should Peds be told so they can protect Lucas? If friends of Amy’s ex are involved, maybe Lucas should be moved, but he’s not allowed near Luka or Nathan right now and he’s on a Psych hold…”

Mark exhaled anxiously at that and looked past Carter just in time to see Edson and Dr. Dremmer sit together on some plastic seats in Chairs while Sam hovered nearby, “Dale!” Carter called out. “I need your help with Dave! He started feeling things in his toes!”

Edson and Sam suddenly both went still for what seemed like an eternity and Carter took the opportunity to move over to them, “Dale, if you’re gonna be up and around, can you help me with Dave?” Carter pled anxiously. “Please? Deb went to the cafeteria. Dave…he needs company because Amy…I mean Doctor Kovac…is busy taking care of Nathan…”

“Jesus, John, why do you want me?!” Edson asked in a quiet, almost afraid tone. “I almost…”

Carter sighed heavily while Mark and Frank turned his attention to the phone calls they needed to make to Peds, the other floors, Security, and Administration about the situation with Romano.

“Dale, I wouldn’t ask just anyone to help with Dave,” Carter pressed anxiously. “Please?”

Edson scoffed at that, “Oh, you’re so full of it,” he replied quietly. “You really need me to help you?!”

“No, I want you to help me,” Carter spoke gently, but firmly. “I trust you. And so does Dave. You helped me get him through the worst of it…”

Edson sighed, “The worst that I caused,” he finished solemnly. “I…I told Greene I’m quitting.”

“Quit tomorrow,” Carter pled anxiously, not rattled by the threat. “Tonight, I need your help.”

Edson was quiet for a moment before he scoffed, “Boy, you must be scared that I’m going to run off and jump in front of the EL like Dennis Gant did,” he snipped irritably, scowling. “Am I right?”

Sam and Dr. Dremmer went very quiet and still at that, but Carter exhaled anxiously, “You want the truth, Dale?” he replied, suddenly feeling anxious. “The God’s honest truth?”

“I do want the truth, John,” Edson replied in a quiet, but firm voice. “Are you scared I’m suicidal?”

Carter nodded, unable to lie, “You’ve been so depressed lately…just like Dennis was when we worked with him in Surgery and I…I didn’t say anything to help Dennis or show him care even though I knew he was struggling,” he replied in a quieter voice, his expression suddenly growing somber.

“You can’t even give a straight answer to me,” Edson snipped, shaking his head at Carter. “Christ…”

Carter scoffed, “Well, neither can you, apparently,” he argued. “What happened with Malucci’s father on the phone? It was apparently serious enough that you needed to call the police…”

Rolling his eyes, Edson walked off back towards Exam Three to search for his shoes and other things and to also get away from Carter’s inquisition. At that moment, Mark put a hand over the phone, “Carter, Anspaugh’s on his way down and wants to have a meeting with all available Personnel about the attack in 15 minutes. Get all available staff together, will you?”

“Do you really think anyone’s available for a meeting?” Carter replied irritably. “I’m not even available. I’ve got to find Doctor Corday for Dave and I have to also check on Dale…and I’ve got to keep eyes on Amy and Nathan because I’m waiting for an ENT consult for Nathan. Abby’s in there now, but I’m sure she’s wondering what…”

Mark sighed, “Then get her to help you,” he argued back. “Carter, I really don’t have time to mother-hen you. You’re an Attending Physician, for God’s sake. I shouldn’t have to babysit you anymore…”

While Mark was lecturing Carter, Sam and Dr. Dremmer quickly and quietly made tracks to Exam Three because they didn’t want Edson to be alone even if he didn’t feel up to working.

In the corner of the Curtain Area, meanwhile, Doug slept, completely emotionally spent from the day and oblivious to the chaos around him. He had overheard Nathan being moved and Amy’s comments about why and he didn’t have the energy or desire to deal with that situation or process the fact that he would know by Thanksgiving whether or not he had a living breathing son so he had simply pressed his pain button to knock himself out for a while so he wouldn’t have to.

It took all of Dale’s energy to fetch his stuff from underneath the bed, but he did it and then after it was on the bed, he immediately sat down next to it. He immediately thought about how he had outright dodged the questions about whether or not he was suicidal and Malucci’s father…

Exhaling, Edson silently grabbed the hospital blood glucose monitor off the portable table and silently went about checking his sugar because the argument with Carter had made him tired. Once that was done, he silently rolled his sleeve up and wrapped the blood pressure cuff around his arm and popped the clip on his finger before pressing the buttons to turn the machine on.

“What are you doing?” Peter’s parental tone suddenly filled the air. “Mark and Anspaugh called for a staff meeting in the ER. At the desk…”

Edson scoffed, “I told Greene I’m quitting,” he replied in a cold, but weak tone. “And then I got into it with John cause he wants me to sit with Malucci after I almost killed the guy in the ICU. John also accused me of being suicidal like Dennis was. I…I don’t know why he would do that…”

“You sound like crap,” Peter observed in a less stern tone. “You’ve got two IV lines in and…”

Edson sighed, “I’m sure as hell not going to any staff meeting for ER staff even if Romano did get attacked on the roof and dragged down here on a gurney,” he replied darkly. “John…he thinks I’ll be able to do some good for Malucci even if I’m looking and feeling like crap. John even stopped me from leaving. John’s so scared I’m going to throw myself off the EL tracks like Dennis Gant did that he’s gotten so clingy. Anyway, I’m not ER staff, so I don’t feel the need to go. I’m sort of the parasite in the petri dish that everyone’s passing around and wants to look at under the microscope. I don’t really have a home or a community anywhere. Hell, I don’t even have a locker anywhere anymore. I lost the one I had in the surgeon’s lounge, and I have a box in the corner in the ER lounge. I don’t feel good about any of that. I don’t feel good period.”

Peter stilled at what he was hearing, “What are you even doing down here?” Edson continued quietly as the machine beeped with readings. “You’re not part of the ER…”

“Anspaugh’s having a staff meeting in the ER,” Peter repeated calmly. “At the desk.”

Nodding, Edson exhaled, “Right,” he replied shakily. “Um…just give me like 20 minutes or so and maybe a juice. John comparing me to Dennis…it sucked the life out of me. I just need…”

“I don’t care what Carter said,” Peter spoke firmly. “You need a nap. What’s your glucose level?”

Edson sighed, gestured to the machine on the portable table, and proceeded to rub his eyes, “I slept through the afternoon, apparently,” he replied groggily. “I don’t know why I’m still tired…”

“You might have something else” a voice spoke from behind. “I wouldn’t be surprised, actually.”

Edson scoffed, “I’m defying the laws of gravity, it seems,” he replied with a sigh as he leaned on the machine. “I just keep dropping further into hell and nothing seems to be getting better…”

Footsteps suddenly filled the air, “You know the thing about gravity, though, Dale?” Carter spoke in a quiet, kind voice as he approached his friend holding a couple of books in hand. “What goes down must eventually come back up. Um, I hope you don’t mind me stepping in as your doctor for a little while. Mark sort of grabbed Doctor Dremmer and Sam for power rounds and to gather available personnel for the meeting. Mark also said I sort of needed a time-out from the chaos and the staff meeting, so he’s got Abby sitting with Nathan, Amy, and Joe and asked me to check on you…”

“So…something else, huh?” Edson pressed tiredly, yawning as he spoke. “Got any thoughts?”

Carter eyed the used machine, and the used blood glucose monitor briefly before gently unwrapping his friend from around the machine, “Lie down,” he replied gently, giving his friend a look as he held him upright. “I’ll check the machines, check your chart, and go from there. In the meantime, though, you should rest…”

“What are the books?” Edson asked softly, seeing the books in Carter’s hands. “Novels?”

Carter sighed and surrendered the books, “Large-print historical books,” he replied gently. “I remember how you and, um…Harper…used to read that stuff…historical stuff…when you’d hang out together between shifts. I got the large print to give your eyes a break.”

Edson, however, eyed the books briefly before setting them down atop his coats and laying down in silence, as he was already ill and the mention of Harper made him sad, “Maybe later,” he replied quietly. “I’d kind of like some quiet for a while, actually. If you and John have something to do…”

All of a sudden, Mark and Dr. Dremmer came in, “Doctor Edson, I hope you don’t mind, but I asked Officer Moore to sit with Doctor Kovac and Nathan for a while until we know more about what happened to Doctor Romano,” Mark began anxiously. “We’re just looking in on everyone in the meantime. If you want to talk to Officer Moore or someone else later, I’m sure we can…”

Edson paused, as did Peter, “What happened to Doctor Romano?” Peter asked anxiously, frowning.

“Romano was found unconscious on the roof by Maintenance, and he’s got hypothermia and a bruise on his head,” Mark explained grimly. “The third shooter from Halloween was never found, so I’m worried that they somehow got in here to finish what they started, came across Romano, attacked him, dragged him to the roof to let him die, and then fled. His family, as well as Malucci’s, have been mentioned in the papers because of the shooting, so maybe…Elton had friends…”

Edson froze and Peter looked horrified, “I tried to put the place in lockdown, but Anspaugh said no, that he wants to have a meeting instead to talk safety, so he’s on his way down and we’ll have a meeting,” Mark continued grimly. “Security’s also sending more people to the ER…”

“What do you want me to do to help?” Peter asked in a concerned voice. “Since I’m here…”

Mark sighed, “I want you and Carter to stay right here with Doctor Edson and keep him safe,” he replied firmly. “Elizabeth’s on her way back down from the cafeteria and when she gets here, I’m going to put Rachel and Ella in the lounge til I can figure out a way to send them home safely. Haleh’s also coming back from the media room with Erinn and Katie…”

“You’re going to let Elizabeth work when the third shooter could be in the hospital?!” Peter snapped, suddenly pissed off. “She’s pregnant, for God sakes. She should be at home where it’s safe and not right in the shooter’s line of fire like Cleo was when she and I got gunned down in the street!”

Mark stilled for a moment, “Don’t you think I know she’s pregnant, Peter?” Mark snapped, glaring at him. “She got paged by Carter to look at Malucci and when she heard Romano was hurt, she…”

“Can you two take this crap outside?!” Carter suddenly snapped, glaring at the two of them. "Christ, you two are acting like kids fighting on a playground! Dale's trying to rest!"

Peter and Mark suddenly looked embarrassed and quickly excused themselves, “I’m going to get a lab cart and take some more blood,” Carter spoke gently, offering Dale a smile. “Sit tight, all right?”

Once Carter had left, Dr. Dremmer silently joined Edson on the bed, “I’m sorry you don’t feel well, Dale,” Dr. Dremmer spoke in a soft, soothing tone, sighing as he took Edson’s hands in his own. “Do you want me to stay with you while I have a moment? We don’t have to talk. You look pretty tired, actually…”

Nodding, Edson closed his eyes to sleep because being awake was proving too much of a chore and Dr. Dremmer simply sat there, quietly holding his hands and watching his newly beloved sleep.

Chapter Text

“…Doctor Kovac?”

Amy let out a terse sigh as she looked up and saw Haleh at the door with Erinn and Katie, “Hi there,” she spoke in a kind, but quiet voice, smiling at the three of them as they came in. “Are you two all tired out?”

“We got to watch a ton of cartoons,” Katie replied in a happy voice as she moved over to her mother and smiled at Joe. “And Haleh let us eat hamburgers.”

Amy nodded, not really listening because her attention was on Reggie, who was lingering just outside the door with another uniformed officer and they were in deep, quiet conversation with each other, “Um, when did the police get here and why are they outside the door?”  she asked nervously. “Whatever it is, Nathan…he wasn’t involved…and…Lucas…Luka swore he didn’t press charges.”

“Might have to do with Doctor Romano being found on the roof,” Dave spoke in a gentle, but concerned voice, giving her a look. “Do you have your meds on you?”

Amy sighed irritably, but produced them, “You can use some of the water they left me to take your meds,” Dave spoke in a gentle, but firm voice. “Speaking of meds, I’m due for mine…”

“Meds?” Abby quizzed softly, gazing at Amy. “Besides the cancer meds?”

Amy nodded, “ADHD,” she replied softly as she took a prescription bottle out of her purse and moved over to the pitcher of water on Dave’s portable table, grabbed a cup, and helped herself. “I also have a TBI which nobody could really do anything for except rehab…”

Haleh looked somber at that, but before she could speak, Reggie wandered into the room, “Hey, Amy, could I talk to Nathan?” Reggie asked in a concerned voice. “The staff…they’re at the desk having a meeting right now about your dad and they’re thinking it might be the third shooter from Halloween. I mean, the guy was never found and Nathan is a living witness to what went down, so we need to know whatever he might remember. My colleague went to find Sam Taggart…”

“I’m not subjecting him to that unless his doctor and his father clear it,” Amy replied firmly, giving Reggie a look. “Nathan’s doctor is Doctor John Carter and his current father of record is Luka Kovac. Luka is probably taking care of my father and I don’t know where John is…”

Abby frowned, “You can’t just say no to the cops,” she replied in a shocked voice, appalled. “What if Nathan wants to talk?”

“When I suspected Nathan had a traumatic brain injury, I was very open with him about it and about the fact that the world wouldn’t be kind to someone who struggled with their brain,” Amy explained quietly. “So was his Uncle Dave. After Nathan assaulted John for no good reason, I knew we needed time to figure things out, so I had a chat with Adele Neuman and Nathan was involved in that too. John also went on record that he wasn’t pressing charges and that Nathan acted in defense of others. That said, Adele helped me set up an arrangement for Nathan to be under my guardianship til he was 21 years old so he would have time to get resources to help him. When Luka and I married, I told him about the arrangement and he…stepped up and put his name on the paperwork too. Anyway, even if Nathan wants to talk, Luka and I have to assess the situation first. If we’re not available, the decision-making power goes to my father or Dave.”

Abby paused, “Are you going to do the same for Lucas?” she asked softly. “I heard…”

“That situation is trickier,” Amy replied in a distressed tone. “A lot trickier. Lucas assaulted Luka in view of hospital staff, threatened bodily harm to family members, expressed suicidal ideations, and has been self-harming. He is on a 72 hour hold with visitors limited to medical staff, myself, and my father now and he may very well get the full 21 days. Luka said he wasn’t pressing charges, but Psych doesn’t believe him, and they want him to ‘think about it’ some more and even talk to Myers himself tomorrow…”

Haleh quickly left to find Luka and Carter, “I’m sorry, Reggie, but you already know the terms, as we had this same discussion when Nathan was stabbed and you wanted answers then too,” Amy spoke firmly. “You’re welcome to wait…”

Shrugging, Reggie moved outside the room and Amy sighed as she cuddled Joe briefly before looking at Erinn and Katie, “If you two want a rest, you can rest on the cot,” she spoke softly.

“Is Nathan in trouble, Mommy?” Katie asked worriedly, frowning.

Erinn sighed, “No, he’s gotta talk about the scary basement,” she explained grimly, frowning at her little sister. “And shooting the guy…”

“Erinn!” Amy warned sternly. “Are they talking about it at school?”

Erinn sighed, “They were,” she replied grimly. “I’m sorry, Mom. It was older kids. And Alex…”

“Well, don’t listen to them and don’t talk about it in front of your brother,” Amy warned sternly before frowning at Abby. “Abby, do you think you could sneak to the meeting and see what they’re saying about…?”

Abby sighed, “Mom…what’s all the noise?” Nathan suddenly moaned sleepily, not waking up.

Amy immediately frowned, “If only someone could go to my father’s and get Gretel for the kids,” she muttered anxiously. “She calms the kids, but knowing my father, Gretel probably has good food and a warm fire to keep her occupied tonight.”

“And it’s not safe for you to go running around Chicago alone anyway,” Dave spoke up, his tone fading as he suddenly looked sleepy.

Abby frowned at Dave, “Dave, maybe you wanna get some sleep?” she suggested gently, moving over to his bed. “It might be a while before Doctor Corday can get to you and you’re looking tired…”

“Yeah,” Dave replied in a tired voice. “Can, um, someone go make sure Jing-Mei is safe? I don’t like that she’s walking around the hospital alone…”

Just then, Reggie suddenly returned with a pissed off looking Sam and the other officer, “We need to talk to Nathan,” Reggie spoke apologetically. “I just got confirmation from police reports that Nathan was not with Nurse Taggart the whole time. We need his account of what happened…”

“And I told you no!” Amy spoke sternly, glaring at Reggie. “What are you gonna do, arrest me?!”

Sam paused and Reggie looked reluctant, “No, but we can and will put Nathan under police supervision until he’s ready and willing to talk,” he replied in an apologetic voice. “He’s obstructing an active investigation…”

Worried that the situation was going to become very bad very fast, Sam quietly slipped out of the room in search of Luka. She had been reluctantly dragged away from Edson’s bedside to talk about her and Alex’s abduction and had then learned they were going to bother Nathan about the same thing. She had quite angrily tried to shut that down, but had been told off.

And now…all she could do was get help and hope Amy or Nathan or both wouldn’t be arrested before she could.

“…Body temp’s coming up…”

“…More police are arriving and they’re going to search the ER and the entire hospital…”

Extreme warmth was the first thing that Dr. Romano felt as he slowly regained awareness. He opened his eyes and found himself laying flat, immediately realizing that he was immobilized on a backboard and in a neck collar. Immediately, he opened his mouth to speak and realized he was also wearing a mask.

“…Doctor Kovac, the police are wanting to talk to Nathan and are in a standoff with your wife. She’s not letting them talk to him. I’m afraid it’s going to get ugly and someone’s gonna get arrested…”

Shaken by what was now happening because everyone thought he had been attacked, Dr. Romano tried in vain to get someone’s attention because he knew that there was no need for the police to be bothering his family, as he hadn’t been attacked, and Amy and Nathan were not fans of the police anyway. The only thing he could manage was to flick the clip off his hands. Alarms immediately filled the room and Dr. Romano immediately found Luka staring at him looking concerned.

The mask quickly came off, “Let me up,” Dr. Romano growled in a tense tone, his voice faint because his throat was dry from the mask. “Now.”

“We don’t know what injuries you have from being attacked,” Luka began anxiously.

Rolling his eyes, Dr. Romano glared daggers at him, “I didn’t get attacked,” he hissed darkly. “I…I had an anxiety attack. Now, let me up before my daughter and eldest grandson get arrested or I swear to God…”

There was quiet talking and all of a sudden, Dr. Romano felt himself being freed of the collar and backboard. Anger and panic surged through him as he sat up, saw Luka in the room along with several nurses, and felt their eyes on him. Embarrassed beyond belief, Dr. Romano looked down at himself and saw that he was in a gown and covered in blankets and IV’s. Thankfully for him, his arm was still attached, so he hadn’t lost much of his dignity.

Loud sobbing suddenly filled the air, which immediately prompted Dr. Romano to pull his IV’s, launch himself off the gurney, and storm from the room like a tornado. He flew down the hall, past the desk where a crowd had gathered, and right into Exam One where the sobbing was coming from. To Dr. Romano’s horror, Nathan was huddled against the bedrail in his bed and sobbing into his knees while a reluctant Reggie and an annoyed, impatient looking officer stood next to his bed. Amy, meanwhile, was trying to get between them, but the other officer was holding her back and Dave looked pissed about the whole thing, but Abby was trying to calm him.

“What the hell’s going on in here?” Dr. Romano demanded angrily, his voice weak from the mask.

Reggie and the other officer turned to face him, “We were trying to talk to Nathan about the third shooter,” Reggie spoke up in an anxious voice. “That person may have been responsible for your attack…”

Scowling, Dr. Romano slowly made his way over to the officers, “I had an anxiety attack,” he hissed darkly, glaring at them. “Both of you get the hell out before I get you fired from your jobs.”

Reggie’s eyes widened, but the other officer muttered something about ‘a nutcase wasting everyone’s time’ and swiftly left. Dr. Romano silently moved over to the bed and silently embraced Nathan while taking great care to keep his bleeding arms free of him, “...Take a breath,” he whispered softly. “Don’t go catatonic. Take a breath.”

For a few moments, Nathan struggled before he finally took a breath and relaxed, “You’re…you’re bleeding,” he spoke in a shaky voice, seeing his grandfather’s arm. “What…?”

“Never mind that,” Dr. Romano spoke gently, turning Nathan’s face away from his arm. “Look at me.”

As Nathan obeyed, Dr. Anspaugh entered the room and paused at what he was seeing, “You need anything?” Dr. Romano asked gently, able to tell that Nathan was not quite back to reality yet.

Nathan looked around, “Where’s Rocket?” he finally whimpered softly.

Amy exhaled anxiously, but quickly located the teddy on the floor and returned him to Nathan’s arms, “If you can go back to sleep now, Nathan, I’ll bring Gretel to visit you on Thanksgiving,” Dr. Romano promised softly. “But you gotta go to sleep now, okay?”

Too exhausted to argue, Nathan hugged Rocket close and went to sleep immediately, “God knows he’ll need Gretel’s cuddles that day if Doug Ross actually turns out to be his father,” Dr. Romano muttered darkly, scowling as he turned to Amy. “And you…I heard you were fighting with the police?”

“Dave made me take my meds,” Amy replied softly. “And I sent Erinn and Katie to the lounge…”

Dr. Romano sighed before he nodded at the sleepy looking Dave, “I believe it’s your bedtime,” he spoke in a fatherly whisper. “If you obey and go to sleep like a good little boy, I might even fight for you to get a very thin slice of pumpkin pie on Thanksgiving as a treat…”

“Doctor Corday was supposed to come,” Dave spoke in a tired voice. “My toes on my left foot…they’re feeling…something.”

Dr. Romano froze and Dr. Anspaugh looked mystified, “Excuse me?” Dr. Romano pressed.

“Um…if I’m not needed, I’d like to go talk to Doctor Edson now,” Reggie spoke up quietly. “We were originally called here to talk to him about some threats he received…”

Dr. Anspaugh paused, as did Dr. Romano, “Who called you?” Dr. Romano asked sternly.

“A Nurse Sam Taggart,” Reggie replied simply. “Apparently Doctor Edson’s in Exam Three…”

Amy frowned, but Dr. Romano quickly gave her a look, “Stay here and cool down,” he ordered quietly. “I know Edson’s your friend, but you need a bit of a timeout. Help Abby with Dave and his foot. If he’s regaining feeling, we need to deal with that right away. Not wait until Doctor Corday decides to make an appearance.”

“Robert, should you be up and around so soon after you were attacked?” Dr. Anspaugh asked worriedly.

Dr. Romano glared at Dr. Anspaugh, “I had an anxiety attack, and I went to the roof to calm down, but that…that made it worse,” he replied quietly. “Anyway, we should go address Doctor Edson’s…”

Dr. Anspaugh, however, offered him a concerned look and Dr. Romano responded by simply leaving the room and not stopping until he was in a quiet space near the lounge. He wanted to simply go into the lounge, change his clothes, and then get on with his night, but…reality was hitting him hard.

He had had an anxiety attack at work.

He had had an anxiety attack at work that had been misinterpreted as him being attacked and that had created chaos…

Did he really belong at County anymore?

If his anxiety had caused a crisis response, maybe he didn’t belong at County anymore, as he was becoming more of a liability than he had been back when he had lost his arm, Dr. Romano thought grimly to himself as he silently stood there in the quiet space near the lounge, a space just out of sight of everything. He didn’t have a place to go after the year anyway, as he was no longer a surgeon, his ER residency was near completion, and his antisocial behavior while he was a surgeon had guaranteed he was lacking in connections and friendships. There was nobody to pull him up and nor would they want to. He hadn’t been kind and now he was paying for it.

Exhaling anxiously, Dr. Romano silently made his way into the lounge and heard noise in the lounge area, so he quickly went to the locker room before he was noticed. He quickly retrieved a pair of clean scrubs from his locker and dumped them on a bench before tending to his arms at the nearby sink. Once his arms were clean, he changed into the scrubs and disposed of the gown before sitting on the bench because his energy was gone. His physical and emotional energy was gone.

As Dr. Romano sat there, silently looking around and trying to compose himself, a box in the corner suddenly caught his eye. A box with Dale Edson’s name written on it. Deeply confused, Dr. Romano got up and walked over to the box in his sock feet, frowning when he looked inside and saw spare scrubs, a locket, a stethoscope, a water bottle, and a book about managing life with depression. It was more than obvious that the stuff was Edson’s and Romano was pissed, as the guy should have been given a locker by now.

Dr. Romano’s eyes narrowed dangerously as he picked up the box and headed for Exam Three.

“…So what have you been doing with the Foundation since Millicent died?” Dr. Dremmer asked in a quiet voice as he sat near Edson’s bed, watching Carter draw blood from the sleeping Edson.

Carter sighed, “Quite a bit,” he replied simply, surprised that Dale hadn’t woken during the blood draw. “I’ll tell you if you really tell me why you’re really working tonight. Does it have to do with what I saw in the cafeteria earlier? You feeding Dale the muffin?”

Dr. Dremmer blushed, “Dale and I met after I got in a brawl with Mark Greene earlier this morning and things between Dale and I got very intense very fast,” he replied gently. “But I think we shouldn’t talk about it here. From what I’ve heard, this isn’t the safest of spaces for…”

Footsteps filled the air and Dr. Dremmer picked up the chart from the portable table, pretending to study it as Dr. Anspaugh walked in. He silently approached the bed where Edson was asleep and watched Carter fill a vial with blood and mark it before depositing it in a safe spot in a lab cart.

“Doctor Carter, do you mind telling me what’s going on?” Dr. Anspaugh asked softly, frowning at Carter before looking at Dr. Dremmer. “And Doctor Dremmer, what…?”

Carter sighed, “Doctor Dremmer used to talk to my grandmother a lot when she was alive about Carter Family Foundation stuff, so I thought I’d let him hang out with me for a bit,” he lied softly, unbothered by the fact that Dale and Dr. Dremmer were together because he felt that Dale deserved some sort of happiness. “I heard he was helping us for the night.”

“There’s a police officer outside wanting to speak to Doctor Edson,” Dr. Anspaugh spoke quietly as he eyed the sleeping younger man. “I hate to wake him, but…”

Carter suddenly looked uneasy, as he knew that Malucci’s father and Dale had probably tussled on the phone and the stress of it had likely messed with Dale’s sugar, but he didn’t dare say anything to Anspaugh, as he felt Dale would get the blame for it.

“I can always call the police back when he is awake,” Carter offered softly. “As you said, Doctor Anspaugh, you would hate to wake him. And as his friend…”

Dr. Anspaugh looked thoughtful, “…You wanna tell me what the hell this is?!” Dr. Romano’s angry voice suddenly filled the air. “You’re the Chief of Staff, for God’s sake! It means you care for your staff! All of your staff!”

Slightly alarmed, Dr. Anspaugh left the room in a hurry and just barely missed Edson waking up, having been shocked out of sleep by the yelling, “God…what time is it?” Edson mumbled groggily, exhaling wearily. “I was supposed to meet Will for dinner. He’s…”

“Here,” Dr. Dremmer spoke softly, waving at him. “And it’s well after dark. How are you feeling?”

Edson sighed tiredly, rubbing his face, “Ready to leave,” he replied tiredly. “And much less shaky.”

“Well, I just took your blood,” Carter spoke up, immediately earning a look from Edson. “So why don’t you just relax a bit, get your bearings, and I’ll drive you home after I run this blood…”

Edson sighed, “I’m fine to take the EL, John,” he replied tiredly, not looking up from the bed or making any move to get up. “Aren’t you still looking after Doctor Malucci?”

Carter gave Edson a look before sighing, “Just sit tight,” he replied calmly. “You’re still…”

Mark suddenly entered the room looking apologetic and Edson immediately pretended to be still asleep, as he didn’t feel up to talking about anything to anyone, “Um, Carter, is Doctor Edson up for a conversation?” Mark asked quietly, having seen Edson fake sleep just to avoid a chat.

Carter paused for a moment before shaking his head, deciding to be a friend.

“Um…okay,” Mark replied in a pained, but quiet tone. “Romano found the box in the lounge. The one where Doctor Edson is apparently keeping his stuff because I didn’t give him a safe space of his own. Needless to say, Romano wants a conversation with me, Edson, and Anspaugh, but if Edson’s not up to it…would you mind coming instead? Maybe you can give us an idea of how to better help him. You did work closely alongside him for a year before you switched to the ER, after all…”

Exhaling softly, Carter left the room, “…Can I check on Dave too?” he asked worriedly. “Something happened you’re gonna wanna know about…”

Edson immediately looked at Dr. Dremmer, “Will…I know we just met, and you don’t have to trust me or anything I say worth a crap, but please…help me get up and out of this hell,” he pled softly. “I got sick because I got threatened on the phone by someone who is connected to people here…”

Dr. Dremmer, however, scooted closer to the bed and offered a concerned look, “Who?” he asked softly. “It can be between us.”

“Tony Malucci,” Edson admitted softly, unable to resist Will Dremmer’s eyes. “I, um, phoned him to tell him that I would be visiting him on Thanksgiving on Doctor Malucci’s behalf and the man…got inappropriate with me after initially pretending not to know me.”

Dr. Dremmer frowned, “And he also implied he’d like to do inappropriate things to Doctor Malucci,” Edson finished grimly. “I can’t prove it. I didn’t record the call. I just know what I heard, but nobody is going to believe me. Nobody here likes or trusts me.”

Before Dr. Dremmer could reply, Edson slowly sat up and discarded the medical equipment from his body, “Please, Will, just drive me home,” Edson pled shakily as tears filled his eyes. “I…”

Dr. Dremmer sighed and quickly fetched Edson a tissue from nearby, “That would be irresponsible of me to do,” he replied gently. “And you know it would be irresponsible of you to just take off when you’re not feeling well and in danger. Whatever these people in the ER think of you, I know you’re a good, intelligent person…”

“And your soothing voice is making me a tired, intelligent person,” Edson grumbled irritably.

Dr. Dremmer gave him a look, “Go back to sleep then and I’ll page someone to come fix your IV’s,” he replied gently, quickly pressing the call button above the bed. “They got loose when you were sleeping, right? Along with the medical equipment?”

“I do roll in my sleep a lot,” Edson replied as he laid back down. “As you already know.”

Dr. Dremmer smirked at that, “I’ll just fix it all while you’re asleep,” he promised softly. “All right?”

“I appreciate you, Will,” Edson replied softly as he closed his eyes. “I really do.”

“Robert?”

Dr. Romano paused at the sound of Elizabeth’s concerned tone. He had screamed at Dr. Greene about the box he had found in the locker room before retreating back to the locker room with the box because Dr. Anspaugh had come across them demanding answers. Dr. Romano knew he didn’t have the emotional energy to talk with both Greene and Anspaugh, so he simply would avoid it and force Greene to own up to his neglect of ER staff.

“Lizzie,” Dr. Romano spoke in a quiet voice as he set the box back where it had been previously and returned to the bench. “Did you enjoy the staff meeting?”

Elizabeth paused worriedly as she stood in the locker area doorway, “I got there just in time to hear chatter that you weren’t attacked,” she replied in a confused, concerned voice. “I came in here to check on Ella and Rachel and they’re watching a movie with Erinn and Katie, so I was about to go look in on Doctor Malucci, but then I saw you here. Everyone’s saying you had an anxiety attack, but…that doesn’t make sense. What really happened?”

“It makes perfect sense, Lizzie,” Dr. Romano replied quietly as he stared up at his locker. “I avoided counseling as much as I could after my accident with the chopper and it’s catching up with me. I’ve become the monster I never said I would become, but…that monster was born long before I met you or anyone else here…and now I have to take responsibility for him. Because I can’t handle who I was and who I am living in the same space.”

Elizabeth frowned and she promptly joined him on the bench, “I went up to the roof to be alone because I was so overwhelmed by my thoughts and I was immediately reminded of what happened to me once I got there,” Dr. Romano continued quietly, his expression filling with grief as he looked at her. “I must have passed out. It’s vague. I’m feeling very embarrassed and very much like I did back after I first lost my arm: a liability. I caused a hospital-wide crisis because I had a panic attack on the roof. I don’t know what that makes me. It sure as hell doesn’t make me competent.”

“It makes you human,” Elizabeth replied in a gentle voice. “Just like the rest of us.”

Dr. Romano shrugged, “I don’t know how to be like everyone else, Lizzie,” he admitted softly. “I don’t know how to do this helpless and vulnerable crap, but…that is how I am feeling right now. Helpless and vulnerable. And I hate it.”

A door suddenly opened nearby, “Daddy Luka!” Katie called out excitedly. “Are you gonna sit with us?”

“I can in a minute,” Luka’s gentle voice replied. “I was actually looking for your grandfather, Katie. Do you know where he is?”

Dr. Romano looked uneasy and immediately looked at the floor, clearly not in the mood for an interrogation, “I don’t think he’s here,” Rachel’s voice suddenly spoke nervously. “He was talking about getting something to eat in the cafeteria.”

Elizabeth paused at Rachel’s lie, “Okay,” Luka replied in a gentle tone. “Um, are you and Erinn tired? I thought we could go home with Joe if you are. Your mom’s wanting to stay with Nathan tonight and Lucas…he’s not allowed visitors right now. Neither are Michael and Abigail. I thought we could order pizza, watch a movie, and just relax.”

“Mommy should rest too,” Erinn spoke softly. “She seems very tired.”

A sigh filled the air and Dr. Romano silently rose from the bench at that moment. He silently made his way to the other exit and Elizabeth quickly got up and followed, curious as to what he was up to.

“Yes, I can feel something on my toes,” Dave replied in a tired voice, sighing sleepily as he looked up at the ceiling. “I can’t tell what it is, but I can tell something’s there.”

Abby nodded, her expression mystified, “I don’t know if it’s another infection or what,” Dave spoke worriedly, tears filling his eyes. “I want to sleep, but…it’s going to keep me awake.”

Amy, meanwhile, watched them worriedly from Nathan’s bedside while she checked his vitals while holding Joe in a sling around her. Nathan’s vitals were off because of his near catatonic spell. She herself was tired due to her cancer, chemo, and worries about her family, but Nathan was worse off mentally and physically, so she had to pull herself together for his sake. She also had to help Abby with Dave if she ended up needing it, as nobody else seemed to be around.

“I’m not officially staff yet, but do you think I could ask a nurse to help me with Nathan?” Amy asked in a concerned voice. “And do you need help with Dave?”

Dave frowned at Amy and Nathan, “He looks like he has a fever,” Dave observed worriedly. “My toes…they’re not as bad as…”

The door suddenly opened and Dr. Romano came into the room, “He’s got no temperature, but his blood pressure and heart rate are not good,” Amy explained in a concerned voice as a machine suddenly blipped. “Oh, God. He’s tachy.”

A pained whimper suddenly filled the air and Nathan’s hand went to his chest, but he didn’t wake, “Nathan!” Amy spoke anxiously, gently shaking him. “Nathan, it’s Mom. You need to wake up.”

“Everything hurts,” Nathan whimpered, not waking. “I don’t want to. The basement…it’s cold.”

Fury and shock filled Dr. Romano and he hurried over to Nathan’s bed, “Sweetie, you’re not in the basement,” Amy spoke in a quiet, but anxious voice, concern filling her face. “Can you wake up?”

Dr. Romano, however, performed a quick sternal rub, which woke Nathan promptly, “What the hell are you doing that for?” Nathan asked in a semi-irritated, groggy voice, glaring at his grandfather. “I told you I was hurting…”

“You’re having a panic attack, I think,” Dr. Romano spoke gently, ignoring the foul language. “And do you know how I know that? I had one too. Just a bit ago.”

Nathan blinked, staring at him wide-eyed while both Dave and Abby froze. Elizabeth, meanwhile, looked surprised at how gentle Dr. Romano was suddenly acting and simply listened in quietly while looking like she was busy with Dave’s care.

“We can talk about it more a little later since I’ll be staying tonight while your mom goes home to sleep,” Dr. Romano continued in a softer tone. “Your mom and your dad are going to take Erinn, Katie, and Joe home and I’m going to sit here and we’re going to talk our panic attacks out. If you can’t talk to me, you can tell Rocket, and he will tell me.”

Amy gave her father a look like she wanted to argue, but the door opened again and Elizabeth came into the room, “Doctor Corday, Dave’s feeling things in his left foot,” Abby spoke in an anxious voice, quickly looking at her.

Elizabeth offered Dave a stunned look as she walked over to his feet, “It’s not much,” Dave replied in a tired voice, knowing full well she didn’t believe Abby’s words. “When Abby touched my toes, I could feel something on them, but it might be nothing…”

“I disagree,” Elizabeth cut him off in a professional tone. “I think that may be a sign of recovery. I’m just going to get a few things and we’ll run some tests. Did you want me to find Carter or Doctor Chen while I’m out and let them know?”

Dave nodded and Elizabeth left in a hurry, “For someone who’s pregnant, she sure moves fast,” he muttered softly.

Abby frowned, “How can you tell she’s pregnant?” she asked, having seen signs herself.

“Uh, I’m a doctor and a father,” Dave replied in a tired voice, giving her a look. “Um, Abby, while we wait, could you pass me my phone, please? Jing-Mei’s been gone a long time and I’m…I’m worried.”

Abby nodded and quickly retrieved his phone for him while Nathan watched silently, wide-eyed, “Kiddo, take a breath,” Dr. Romano urged softly, quickly looking at the monitor. “Slow and deep.”

Nathan obeyed and whimpered, “It’s going away a little,” he replied softly. “The pain. Do…do I have to wear more medical crap now?”

“That will be up to Doctor Carter to decide when we talk to him about what just happened because we are going to tell him,” Dr. Romano replied softly. “Take another breath, okay? And just focus on me. Amy, why don’t you go tell Luka that you are going to be heading out for the night soon? We’ll be fine here. Won’t we, kiddo?”

Nathan nodded and Amy offered him and her father a smile before she got up and left with Joe.

The desk was quiet.

Only Jerry was puttering around, trying to pretend to be working while eavesdropping on the meeting that Mark, Dr. Anspaugh, and Carter were having near the computer and Frank was due soon, so he was pretending to look busy in case Jerry showed.

“Where is Robert?” Dr. Anspaugh spoke in an annoyed tone, scowling as he looked around in hopes of seeing the man. “He’s the accessibility director and he’s the one who thought it appropriate to scream at Doctor Greene in the hallway like a maniac…”

Just then, Elizabeth walked by the desk in the direction of the medical supply room, “Elizabeth, do you know where Doctor Romano got to?” Mark asked in a concerned voice. “Doctor Anspaugh wanted a meeting that included him because he’s the accessibility director…”

“Um, Doctor Romano’s in with Nathan,” Elizabeth replied in a concerned tone. “Nathan’s not feeling well and Doctor Romano’s helping him through it. I was just going to get some instruments to test Doctor Malucci’s range of motion because it seems his toes…”

Carter’s eyes widened and he immediately bolted from the desk, “I thought Malucci wasn’t contagious anymore?” Mark queried in a concerned tone, frowning at Elizabeth. “You’re pregnant and you should be careful…”

“It’s not pneumonia,” Elizabeth replied coldly, glaring at Mark. “And it’s none of your business what Nathan’s struggling with. You’re not his doctor or his parents.”

Mark gaped at her, “It is my business because I might have to help take care of him if we get busy,” he argued in a concerned tone. “And I’m also Doctor Romano’s supervisor. He reports to me.”

“Then you need to talk to him,” Elizabeth replied coldly as she walked off down the hallway.

Mark looked mystified, “I thought he was found unconscious on the roof?” he asked in a confused, slightly concerned voice. “Now, he’s sitting with Nathan like nothing happened? Is he…okay?”

Dr. Anspaugh looked concerned, “I’m going to talk to Robert personally,” he replied in a quiet voice. “Would you mind checking on Doctor Edson?”

Mark nodded and Dr. Anspaugh quietly left. Mark was about to go to check on Edson when he saw Luka and Amy come out of the lounge with Erinn, Katie, and Joe in tow, “…We’re going to all get some rest and then come be with Nathan tomorrow,” Amy was speaking softly.

“What about Lucas?” Katie asked worriedly. “How come we can’t go see him?”

Amy sighed, quickly looking at Luka, “Because your brother isn’t feeling well right now and a lot of visitors would be hard on him,” Luka replied in a patient voice. “Maybe in a couple of days, he’ll be feeling well enough for visitors along with the babies.”

“Can we say goodnight to Nathan?” Katie asked hopefully, giving Luka a pleading look.

Amy looked nervous about that and Luka immediately noticed, “How about I go say goodnight for all of us?” he suggested softly. “Okay?”

Luka received no argument, so he wandered off. As Amy was about to suggest that they go get a pop to go, she suddenly noticed that the curtain around Doug’s bed had been drawn back and that Doug was quietly thrashing in his sleep to the point where he was on the verge of pulling IV’s. And yet…nobody seemed to notice him.

Wondering if Doug being neglected was her fault, as her overprotectiveness of Nathan had probably made a lot of people dislike the man despite his earlier heroics, Amy looked at Erinn and quickly passed her the sling containing Joe, “Go to the desk and help Jerry,” she spoke in a concerned voice. “Now.”

Before either of them could reply, Amy moved over to Doug’s bed and gently touched his arm, which caused him to jerk awake, “What the hell?” Doug groaned in a groggy tone. “What…what…where am I?”

“County General,” Amy replied softly. “You’re not…you’re not in any danger here, Doug.”

Frowning, Doug looked at her, “Amy,” he spoke in a groggy voice. “Um…”

“You were thrashing in your sleep,” Amy explained softly, sighing. “And I suppose that’s my fault, so I’m sorry…”

Doug scoffed, “I was…I was having bad dreams about that party,” he spoke with a sigh, distress filling his face. “I was in the middle of that room and then all of a sudden, it changed to Danvers Park, and I was falling through the ice, but I wasn’t able to swim to save myself…”

Unaware that Mark had caught sight of them and was silently nearby watching them, Amy sat in the empty chair beside Doug’s bed, “I’ve been so upset for myself and for Nathan that I didn’t really stop to think about how you’d be feeling about all this,” she spoke in an apologetic tone. “So…I’m sorry for not thinking of your feelings. You…you’ve probably been very much affected by all this too.”

Doug studied her briefly through tired eyes, “Um, you seem a bit tired…and sad,” he observed softly. “I’m not angry that you’re protecting Nathan. To him, I might be nothing, and you have a right to be…”

Amy sighed and held up a hand to quiet him, “I admit I was nervous about you, but I’m not now,” she replied in a quiet tone. “I struggle with ADHD and a traumatic brain injury, and I let my anxiety get out of control to the point where I let myself believe you were dangerous and it has obviously affected the level of care you’re receiving, so I am going to fix it however I can. Nathan…he’s also been exhibiting signs of traumatic brain injury since he was 14 or 15 and whatever he went through in that basement worsened it significantly. I am more protective of him than I am afraid of you.”

Mark frowned and Doug’s face fell, “I had no idea,” Doug replied in a concerned voice. “What are you doing to help him? I’m, um a Peds Attending in Seattle…did you want me to put you in touch with Doctor Dremmer? He’s my boss and is here visiting me for the holidays. He would know of resources…”

Amy paused and for a moment, Mark was worried he’d need to step in, but then she sighed and gave Doug a look, “My God, you sound exactly like Nathan used to when he’d help me and Dave at the clinic by welcoming people,” she spoke in a slightly amused voice. “The same inflection. Same tone…same personality...”

“If he is mine, what am I going to be allowed to do in terms of being in his life?” Doug asked quietly. “It doesn’t matter if he’s got a brain injury or other struggles. I’m a pediatrician, for God’s sake. That kind of stuff doesn’t scare me.”

Amy sighed, “Nathan will have a say to a point,” she replied softly. “Things with him are complicated, but I’ll explain more when we know what’s happening with the results of the DNA test…”

Doug sighed, his expression grim and apologetic and Mark chose that moment to approach them, as he was to blame for Doug’s neglect above all else and he wasn’t going to let Amy take that upon herself with everything else she was already carrying, “Mark?” Doug queried tiredly, frowning at him.

“I hope you don’t mind me having a chat with Doug, Doctor Greene,” Amy spoke softly, sighing at Mark. “God knows he and I are overdue for one. And we’ll probably have more if Nathan is his father.”

Mark shrugged, trying to act as if he hadn’t been eavesdropping on the two of them. Before he could speak, however, he noticed Carter and Sam wander towards Exam One with machines. More than a little concerned, he found himself also heading towards Exam One briefly before changing course and returning to Doug’s side.

“I know you don’t like being hooked up to machines, but I think it might be a good idea since your chest still hurts a little even after we tried deep breathing,” Carter heard Dr. Romano say in a gentle voice. “Okay?”

Carter frowned as he approached Nathan’s bed and saw Dr. Romano talking gently with Nathan, who was looking very tired and sporting a nose tube along with a pained expression on his face while he made a feeble attempt to massage his chest. Luka, meanwhile, was sitting nearby looking worried.

Next to him, Dave was now asleep, having gotten too tired to stay awake waiting for Elizabeth to come back to run tests and Abby was simply sitting with him, “I, um have some chest pains,” Nathan spoke quietly, not daring to look at Carter as he spoke. “Grandpa Rocket and I tried to breathe through them, but they’re not going away…”

“You mind if I take a listen?” Carter asked gently. “I’ll be really gentle.”

Nathan nodded and Carter motioned for Luka to come help him, “Can you sit Nathan up, Luka?” Carter asked quietly.

Dr. Romano quietly moved, knowing he wasn’t allowed to do the sort of thing Nathan needed due to the risk to his prosthetic, but he stayed in Nathan’s view while Luka helped Carter with Nathan.

“Yup, your heartbeat’s a little fast and you’re a bit short of breath too,” Carter finally said in a concerned voice once he had listened to Nathan’s heart and breathing with his stethoscope and had laid him back on his pillows. “Just to be safe, I’d like to do an ECG. Do you know what that is? It’s where little electrodes are attached to your chest and they transmit your heart’s electrical activity to a machine. It’s not going to hurt you at all…”

Nathan frowned, “Um…did the cops go away?” he asked nervously. “I’m okay with that as long as they don’t wanna talk about the basement anymore…”

Luka and Carter exchanged a look, now confused and concerned, “The cops are gone,” Dr. Romano spoke quietly, sighing tiredly. “They aren’t going to bother you again.”

“Is that why you have the chest pains?” Carter asked quietly. “The police? And the basement?”

Dr. Romano looked annoyed, but Luka looked concerned, and Nathan simply nodded, “They wanted me to talk about it and it’s…it’s too much for me,” Nathan spoke quietly. “I still can’t remember everything, and it makes me sick to even think about it, let alone talk about it. Do…do you struggle with that? Not being okay with talking about certain things?”

Carter suddenly looked thoughtful, “Actually, yes,” he replied softly, sighing. “Back when I was a resident, a schizophrenic patient stabbed a medical student and I at this hospital and the medical student was killed and I was injured pretty badly. I, um, developed some issues from that and even saw the guy a couple of years later when he was brought in again as a patient. It made me freak out and I ended up running away and throwing up because I couldn’t handle seeing him…”

“Paul Sobriki came back?!” Dave’s groggy, slightly freaked out voice suddenly filled the air. “When?!”

Carter looked up at Dave, who looked pissed and horrified albeit a bit groggy from being woken up. Abby, meanwhile, looked concerned, “A while after you were fired from County,” he replied in a quiet voice. “I’m sorry, Dave. I…I thought you were asleep.”

“Was that the patient’s name?” Nathan asked nervously. “Paul Sobriki?”

Carter nodded, “I don’t like to talk about him,” he admitted quietly. “But…I wanted to make a point that even adults have things that make them feel scared and have panic attacks and there’s nothing wrong with that. It doesn’t make them any less…”

“I guess I’ll do that ECG thingy now,” Nathan interrupted quietly, suddenly feeling tired of talking about stabbings and attacks. “I’m getting tired.”

Carter froze because he quickly realized that mentioning his own stabbing to someone who had also been stabbed may not have been the best idea, “Um, I’m sorry if I made you feel uncomfortable by reminding you of…the past,” he apologized softly.

“I still have nightmares about it,” Nathan admitted quietly. “And…it’s a little scary for me to be alone in unfamiliar places. I like people I know and trust around, but I’m 17 and…I need to get over it…”

Carter shook his head, but Luka spoke up before he could speak, “Nathan, did your mother tell you I was married and had children before I met her and all of you?” Luka asked softly. “They were killed in the Croatian War of Independence in the 90s and I still get sad about it sometimes, but your mother…she helped me keep the memories of my very first children alive by naming your sister and brother…”

“Jasna and Marko?” Nathan commented softly, frowning. “Were those your children?”

Luka nodded, “Sad and traumatic things are not something you should simply get over because you think you have to,” he explained quietly. “Whatever Elton Douglas put in your brain, it obviously wasn’t positive and it’s going to take you time to deal with all of it, but you’re not going to be alone in dealing with it. You’re going to get counseling and spend time at home during your recovery simply resting and talking to your mom or me or even your grandfather if you want to. We’ll just take things slow and not worry about rushing anything…”

“And what about Doug Ross?” Nathan asked uncertainly. “I’m probably not what he’ll expect in a son…if I am his son…”

Luka sighed, “We’ll just take that slow too,” he promised softly. “And your mom and I will support you in getting to know him if you turn out to be related to him and want to get to know him.”

Nodding, Nathan exhaled, “It’s almost gone,” he realized softly. “The pain.”

“Well, we’ll do the ECG anyway just to be safe,” Carter spoke gently. “Okay?”

Luka suddenly paused, “Doctor Romano, can I talk to you in the hall for a minute?” he asked softly.

Dr. Romano gave Luka a look, but nodded and left with him, “Sam, can you stay with Nathan while I get the machine?” Carter asked quietly, deciding to peek in on Dale while he was out.

Sam nodded and Carter left quickly, “Are you really feeling your toes, Uncle Dave?” Nathan asked quietly, giving Dave a curious look as Elizabeth came in with a medical cart full of instruments and Mark at her heels.

“That’s what I’m hoping to find out,” Elizabeth spoke gently. “How are you feeling, Nathan? Rachel was asking…”

Nathan sighed, “Having a few chest pains, so Doctor Carter wants me on a heart monitor,” he replied softly. “Can I watch you help Uncle Dave with his legs? It’ll distract me from the pain.”

Elizabeth nodded and turned her attention to Dave, immediately checking his foot with her instruments, “I know something’s there, but I can’t tell what it is,” Dave replied, not looking at his foot on purpose. “And it’s only my toes on my left foot. I know it’s not much…”

“I disagree,” Elizabeth replied firmly, giving Dave a firm look. “Considering you were shot on Halloween and weren’t expected to regain any feeling below the waist at all, I think this is tremendous news. You might finally be seeing the other side of things. I’d like the leg exercises to continue, and I’d also like to see if you can’t do some sort of whirlpool therapy too…”

Dave nodded, “What about whirlpool therapy?” he suddenly heard Jing-Mei ask from the door.

“Um, my left toes are feeling things,” Dave explained, giving Jing-Mei a look as she came over to the bed. “What took you? Is everything okay?”

Jing-Mei looked surprised, “I had supper, and I called Daniel,” she replied in a kind voice before she gently stroked his hair. “You’re feeling things below the waist?”

Dave nodded and Jing-Mei swiftly kissed his forehead before feeling it, “You’re feeling cooler too,” she commented softly. “How’s your coughing and congestion been? And…Nathan?”

“His mom moved him in here because she trusts I’ll be able to keep an eye on him,” Dave replied in a tired voice. “And I’m coughing less, but I’m tired. No appetite. And my meds…haven’t come yet.”

Elizabeth looked concerned at that and promptly went over to the phone, “Well, you have to eat at least a little bit before bed,” Jing-Mei spoke softly. “Even if it’s a cup of soup. Okay?”

“Could you cuddle me for a bit?” Dave asked quietly, giving her a pleading look. “It’s…comforting.”

Jing-Mei nodded and sat at Dave’s bedside before cuddling him as much as she could, “Why are you trembling?” she asked, quickly able to tell something was off. “What happened?”

“John…he brought up Paul Sobriki and it’s just making me think of that day and of Halloween,” Dave commented quietly, his expression somber as he stared off at the window. “I just need to be held.”

Nodding, Jing-Mei cuddled as close as she could and gently held Dave while Abby looked concerned, “I’m going to rest my eyes for a bit,” Dave spoke in a quieter tone. “You can wake me whenever I need to eat or take meds, right?”

Jing-Mei nodded, determined to be a support to him even when he just needed a moment of silent rest. Across the room, Nathan looked at Sam briefly before also closing his eyes to rest simply because it was easier than trying to initiate a conversation about difficult things. Elizabeth, meanwhile, finished on the phone and left the room to wait for what she had asked for and Abby followed suit, as she wanted to let Carter know that Dave was now struggling emotionally and might benefit from someone to talk to when he woke up.

“Um, I apologize for being nervous,” Edson spoke quietly as he sat up in bed, facing Reggie while Dr. Dremmer sat in a nearby chair. “I…I don’t exactly feel comfortable talking about all this. For one, I’m worried about not being believed. I mean…I can’t prove it. It was on a cell…and I didn’t record it.”

Reggie nodded, a memo book on his knee while a running tape recorder sat on the portable table, “Just take your time,” he replied gently. “Once you share your side, we can always check with the phone company. The number is a landline, so they may have recorded the call…”

Edson sighed, “Okay,” he replied quietly. “Um, anyway, I phoned Tony Malucci at Garden Vista earlier to tell him that his son, Dave, couldn’t visit him for Thanksgiving, but that I would be coming instead. I lied to Tony and said Dave had to work on Thanksgiving, but…I did that to protect Dave. Dave…he was injured in a shooting that took place here on Halloween during which he served as a human shield for three little kids and he’s just been through hell since then with complications. He’s paralyzed and not in any physical or mental shape to deal with Tony…”

Reggie looked concerned, “So you two have had dealings with Tony Malucci in the past?” he asked worriedly.

“Dave brought him here from New York back when he was finishing his residency at Mercy Hospital cause Tony attempted suicide,” Edson explained grimly. “At least, that is what I was told when I first came across Dave at the Free Clinic of Hope and learned about his struggles with his father. Anyway, my parents live at the same home Tony Malucci is in, so I offered to go with him and sort of be backup for him when he visited his father. His father…his father can get very inappropriate at times…”

Reggie raised an eyebrow at that, but nodded, “Um…like, when I was on the phone with Tony, Tony stated that he would like to have dinner in his room and cuddle with Dave while watching a movie,” Edson explained in a grim voice, his expression pained. “He thought I was Dave and said he always enjoyed cuddling. I don’t think I have to explain how…wrong that sounds to me.”

Dr. Dremmer looked concerned, and Reggie simply shook his head, “Once I said I wasn’t Dave, Tony pretended not to know me for about a minute and then called me an overprotective little bastard, questioned why I came with Dave all the time, and then it got very…inappropriate,” Edson continued grimly, not daring to look anywhere but at Reggie. “He also invited me to have some private time with him and said he was interested in getting to know me better.”

Reggie exhaled grimly, “I…I was afraid to bring it up at all, especially after I heard that Doctor Romano was attacked on the roof, as that sounded way more serious,” Edson finished nervously, his expression grim.

“That doesn’t make what happened to you any less important,” Reggie explained quietly. “And I’m glad you finally told me. I’m a police officer. I want to help you deal with this. First things first, do you feel like your parents are in any danger from Tony Malucci?”

Edson sighed and hesitated briefly before shaking his head, “They’re in a locked unit,” he replied softly. “I…John Carter and I were supposed to go visit Tony on Thanksgiving, but…I’d rather John stay away from the man…”

“I’d rather you both stay away from Tony Malucci given what you told me,” Reggie cut in in a gentle, but firm voice as Carter came into the room. “We’ll send police up to Garden Vista…”

Carter frowned as he approached the bed, “Police to Garden Vista?” he asked in a confused tone.

“Doctor Carter, can I have a word with you in the hall?” Reggie asked quietly as he stopped the recorder and took it from the table. “I need to talk to you about something serious.”

Carter eyed Edson worriedly, but the man wouldn’t look at him, “Dale?” he pressed worriedly.

Edson shook his head no as tears filled his eyes, “What the hell happened?” Carter asked worriedly.

“Doctor Carter, I’m happy to get you up to speed in the hall,” Reggie spoke softly. “Okay?”

Carter reluctantly left and Dr. Dremmer moved himself closer to the bed, “Hey,” Dr. Dremmer spoke softly, taking Edson’s hands in his own. “That…talking to the police about what happened to you on the phone…that was really brave of you and I’m proud of you for being brave.”

Edson didn’t reply, but silently squeezed Dr. Dremmer’s hands to let him know his words had been heard, “We don’t have to talk if you don’t feel up to it,” Dr. Dremmer spoke gently, simply deciding to be there for him and not push him into conversation. “We can just sit here…together.”

And sit they did, their hands joined, and their minds focused on the quiet of the room.

“Your vitals seem better,” Mark observed as he finished checking Doug’s vitals. “How are you feeling?”

Doug sighed, “My leg and ankle are broken, my chest has tubes in it, my ribs are broken, and my head hurts,” he replied grimly, frowning at Mark. “And to top it all off, I might have found my son. It’s going to be hell, you know that right? Waiting for Thanksgiving to come so I can know for sure if he’s mine? Doctor Julian said he’d rush it…but the waiting is going to be hell. I tried to take a nap with pain meds earlier, but it obviously didn’t help…”

“Did you tell Carol you did the test?” Mark asked worriedly. “Or your mom?”

Doug shook his head, “No,” he replied grimly. “They are busy and I’d rather they stay busy. Especially the girls. When I was back in Seattle, preparing to come out and deal with this, the girls could tell I wasn’t okay and I didn’t know how to explain any of this to them, so I just said I was tired from working so hard. They’re so young, Mark. How do I explain any of this to them? Carol…she is trying to be supportive, but I’m sure this is hard on her.”

Footsteps suddenly filled the air, “…No, I don’t think my family needs police protection, as we have security at my family estate,” Carter’s voice filled the air. “But maybe an officer wants to hang out near Dale’s room to look after him and Doctor Dremmer and maybe also put an officer near Dave’s room tonight, but don’t let Nathan see you because he’ll freak out. Nathan hates the police…”

Mark and Doug frowned as they saw Carter walk into view pushing an ECG machine while a concerned looking Reggie lingered beside him, “Carter, why are you asking the police to guard Doctor Edson, Doctor Dremmer, and Doctor Malucci?” Mark asked in a concerned voice.

Reggie motioned for Mark to come over for a chat while Doug eyed Carter curiously, an act that prompted Carter to walk over to him, “Um, so that’s where Will got too, huh?” Doug asked curiously, smirking. “He’s with Doctor Edson? I thought Edson was a surgeon? You started out in surgery with him before you came to us, right? I…I kind of knew Will was into both guys and girls, but…I didn’t think he was interested in anyone. Besides hanging out with Carol and I, Will’s not very social at home. The only time he socializes are at those conferences he speaks at and he doesn’t date. His friends have tried to encourage him to try and even take him out when he’s at the conferences, but…”

“His friends?” Carter probed curiously, frowning. “Who exactly are Doctor Dremmer’s friends?”

Doug sighed, “You remember Maggie Doyle, right?” he replied quietly. “She and Will have been best friends ever since he was bullied in a gay bar in San Francisco. Some people didn’t like his leg and she got pissed at them…”

“His leg?” Carter questioned in a confused voice. “Gamma never mentioned anything about…”

Doug scoffed, “Well, Will doesn’t talk about it, as he doesn’t want it defining him,” he replied in a tired tone. “And he’s my buddy, so if he doesn’t tell you…I’m not sure I should. Anyway, if he’s into Doctor Edson, that’s awesome. Will…he’s spent a lot of years being sad and lonely and so he deserves happiness.”

Carter was quiet for a moment before he sighed and nodded, “How are you feeling?” he asked quietly, wanting to make conversation, but not wanting Doug to know how much he actually knew. “I heard you saved Lucas Kovac and Alex Taggart. That’s the talk anyway…”

“The County rumor mill is still alive and well, I see,” Doug replied quietly, frowning at Carter. “I did do that. And…it’s so complicated. Lucas’s brother, Nathan…he might be my son. It’s so complicated, Carter. I don’t know how to feel about it. I talked to Anspaugh about it already, but I thought about talking to Psych about it too. Am I crazy if I do that?”

Carter shook his head, “I used to hate psychiatrists, but…I didn’t expect life to get so overwhelming so fast,” Doug admitted with a sigh, his expression anxious as he looked at Carter. “It’s…it’s hard to explain.”

“Not to me,” Carter replied quietly, sitting beside the bed. “I know how you feel. I got sick when I was in Africa and I ended up back in the States needing a kidney. A colleague of mine, Doctor Dave Malucci, got tested and ended up being a perfect match. Funny enough, we later found out that we’re half brothers. We share a mother. Life definitely got crazy fast and after the shooting, I had his fiancé and his son move in with my wife and I because his fiancé’s pregnant and his son has a disability. He needs my help and I want to get to know him and make up for my mother’s selfish choice to give him up to his abusive father…”

Doug looked surprised, “Jesus, Carter, that’s…a lot,” he commented quietly. “Wow.”

“Yeah, it is,” Carter replied with a sigh. “But…I’m in counseling for it…and counseling…it’s helpful. And if you want it, I think it will be helpful for you too.”

Doug nodded and Carter got to his feet, “I can call Psych for you when I get a moment,” Carter offered.

“No, I’ll ask a nurse when one comes around,” Doug replied quietly. “I appreciate you taking the time to sit with me and talk to me and listen to me, though, Carter. You’re a good guy.”

Carter nodded and looked back towards Exam One just in time to see Luka kiss Amy, Joe, Erinn, and Katie goodnight before disappearing back into Exam One. Dr. Romano, meanwhile, was nowhere to be seen and Amy looked tired, but content.

Deeply curious about what was happening, Carter moved the ECG machine towards Exam One.

“…I offered to stay with you tonight so your mother can go home with Erinn, Katie, and Joe,” Carter heard as he rolled the ECG machine into the room. “Your grandfather said he’ll go be with Lucas.”

Carter raised an eyebrow at that and quickly looked at Dave while rolling the ECG machine over to Nathan’s bed where Luka was now sitting. Jing-Mei was cuddling Dave close to her while he slept sporting an exhausted expression on his face and Abby was sitting at the end of the bed looking tired, but thoughtful.

“I think Grandpa Rocket just wants to be by himself,” Nathan spoke tiredly, frowning at Luka. “Lucas…he pretty much hates the world right now and has for a while. I should have said something before. He wasn’t okay when he got out of treatment. I just didn’t know how to tell anyone.”

Luka looked thoughtful, “What’s important now is that Lucas is now getting help from professionals again,” he replied gently. “And now you’re going to be able to get help for yourself.”

“I’m the oldest and I just feel…like I failed,” Nathan spoke in a tired, grim voice, exhaling and wincing as he spoke. “I really…I really shouldn’t talk about it, though. It makes the chest pain a little worse.”

Carter chose that moment to step in, “And on that note, I have the ECG machine,” he spoke up gently. “Am I okay to set it up or do you have more questions?”

“I’d just like it done so I can sleep, please,” Nathan replied quietly, sighing tiredly as he avoided looking at Luka and Carter because he was overwhelmed by guilt and sadness. “I’m tired.”

Nodding, Carter began gently arranging the machine, “Okay,” he spoke gently.

Luka, meanwhile, studied Nathan worriedly, immediately glad that he had decided to stay.

Lucas’s hospital room was quiet, as was most the Peds floor.

Dr. Romano found himself grateful for the quiet, as it allowed him to simply linger by the window in the room, stare outside at the wintry night, and silently reflect on how he had single-handedly been responsible for hospital-wide chaos simply because he had lost a handle on his mental health.

Noise suddenly filled the air and Dr. Romano turned just in time to see Lucas wake and try to speak briefly before struggling with his restrained hands. Wondering if Lucas was in a better frame of mind now, Dr. Romano moved over to the bed and immediately caught Lucas’s gaze.

As much as he wanted to undo the restraints and give Lucas the whiteboard that was on the portable table so Lucas could communicate, Dr. Romano knew better than to do anything without backup in the room. He silently pressed the call button and waited. After a few minutes, a bored looking Peds nurse wandered in and froze at seeing Dr. Romano there.

“Lucas is having trouble with the restraints,” Dr. Romano spoke quietly, realizing news of his mental health issues was probably making its way all around the hospital. “Can you help with that at all?”

The Peds nurse eyed Dr. Romano suspiciously, “Doctor Bernstein’s over the floor tonight,” she replied in a nervous tone. “Do you want me to get him? I mean…you’re not too…scared to deal with it, right?”

Dr. Romano frowned, “Does Lucas need the restraints or not?” he asked in an annoyed tone.

“The room has cameras, so I don’t know why he does,” the Peds nurse replied, sighing as she walked over and undid the hand restraints before handing Lucas the board and marker. “Here you go. I assume you can handle things while I go talk to Doctor Bernstein? Or are you too much of a nutcase?”

Dr. Romano responded with a silent glare and the Peds nurse left.

Exhaling anxiously, Dr. Romano moved over to Lucas’s bedside and watched as Lucas eyed the board before eyeing him, a slightly upset expression on his face, “Lucas, it’s okay,” Dr. Romano spoke in a quiet, calm tone. “You’re in Peds. You’re on a 72-hour hold…”

Lucas scowled at that, but Dr. Romano sighed, “Nobody wanted this,” Dr. Romano continued in the same tone, distress in his face as he spoke. “I know you’re a good kid, so I’m not understanding why you’d threaten your brother or attack Doctor Kovac. Is the reason something you feel that you can’t tell your mom? We’ve always been able to talk to each other, kiddo. Haven’t we? You and I?”

Lucas tilted his head a bit before offering a small nod, “If you wanna respond, write it down,” Dr. Romano spoke gently, gesturing to the board. “You’ve still got that trach in…”

Lucas, however, simply stared at him looking confused and frustrated for a few moments before reaching his hand out as if asking for someone to hold his hand. Dr. Romano sighed and offered his real hand, not trusting that Lucas wouldn’t attempt to wreck his prosthetic if he suddenly got mad.

Instead of taking the offered hand, however, Lucas frowned and mouthed, ‘Why are you afraid of me?’

Dr. Romano paused before deciding to be honest, “I don’t know,” he replied simply, moving closer. “I really don’t know anything anymore, honestly, when it comes to you. What’s happened to you? I love you very much, but I’m scared about what you’re becoming. Depressed and violent.”

Lucas stilled and tears filled his eyes, something which prompted Dr. Romano to gently ruffle his hair and dry the tears with his sleeve, “I love you, kid,” Dr. Romano spoke quietly. “Okay?”

As Dr. Romano leaned over to kiss Lucas goodnight, he suddenly felt an arm wrap around his neck and pull him down into a headlock choke that was surprisingly strong. For several minutes, Dr. Romano flailed, trying his best to get out of the hold without hurting Lucas, as he didn’t know what was going on, but he didn’t want to hurt his grandson because Lucas was his grandson, and he loved him…even though he was currently being assaulted by Lucas for absolutely no reason.

Noise suddenly filled the air and Dr. Romano suddenly felt himself being shoved backwards into something hard. As a loud crash filled the air, Dr. Romano felt pain shoot through his body.

“…Sedative!” a voice suddenly yelled. “Doctor Romano, are you okay?! Doctor Romano!”

More noise filled the room and Dr. Romano suddenly found himself crawling haphazardly towards the door. His legs were shaking so badly from the shock of being choked that he couldn’t stand.

But he had to get out of that room as soon as possible even if it took him all night.

“Are you going to go home soon?” Abby asked quietly as she followed Carter out of Exam One after Nathan’s ECG had finished, both of them maneuvering the machine together. “I’m sure your dad, Maggie, and Daniel miss you. Besides, you look tired.”

Carter sighed tiredly, “I wanna look over these ECG results, be around if Dave and Jing-Mei need me, and also stay close to Dale tonight,” he explained with a sigh. “Given all that’s happened…”

“You’re very protective of Doctor Edson,” Abby observed quietly. “Is it because of his boyfriend? I saw them kissing on a gurney earlier. They seem like they’re very happy with each other.”

Carter looked amused at that, but shook his head, “It’s because something bad happened between Dale and Dave’s father and I want to make sure Dale and Dave are both safe,” he explained softly. “Needless to say, I don’t think Dale and I will be visiting Tony Malucci on Thanksgiving…”

“…Oh, my God!” Elizabeth’s anxious voice suddenly filled the air. “Robert! What happened?!”

Carter and Abby immediately turned their attention towards Elizabeth’s voice just in time to see her dump her winter stuff at the desk, leave Rachel and Ella at the desk, and hurry down the hallway. The two of them turned again and froze in horror at seeing Dr. Bernstein of Peds helping a shaking, battered Dr. Romano walk down the hallway. Dr. Romano’s head was bruised and bleeding, his neck was bruised, and his entire body, including his legs, were trembling as if they were made of jello. An expression of disbelief and shock filled Dr. Romano’s face, but he continued forward simply because he was being led forward.

Alarmed, Carter and Abby hurried towards Dr. Romano and reached him just as he began to sink to the floor still sporting an expression of shock on his face. Carter and Abby quickly helped Dr. Bernstein get Dr. Romano over to a gurney.

“…I’m not pressing charges,” Dr. Romano suddenly eeked, his voice hollow and whispery as he was gently laid back. “Just…just patch me up. It…it hurts to talk and to even be awake.”

Dr. Bernstein scowled at that, “You were choked and tossed into the portable table like a rag doll,” he argued worriedly. “You’re a fool if you don’t talk to the police since you were actually attacked this time and I witnessed it! If you don’t talk to the police about this, Robert, I will! This is serious!”

“No,” Dr. Romano eeked, wincing as he massaged his throat. “Just…leave me…leave me alone…”

Carter glared at Dr. Bernstein, “Can you argue about it later?” he asked sternly.

“I’m going to talk to Doctor Kovac!” Dr. Bernstein snapped. “Is he still down here or did he leave? You and he have both clearly lost your common sense when it comes to Lucas and his actions! He attacked both of you and you’re both refusing to do anything about it because you don’t think….!”

A shocked silence fell over the area, “Lucas did this?!” Carter spoke in a shocked voice, his eyes wide. “Doctor Romano…?”

Dr. Romano responded by covering his eyes with his hand, not wanting to talk about it because he was still in shock about what had taken place, and he was also angry about being dragged down to the ER against his will by Bernstein while Peds nurses were dealing with  Lucas with the help of Psych.

Bernstein had wanted to call for a gurney, Dr. Romano reflected as he sat there in a self-imposed bubble of silence, but he had insisted on walking…with assistance….to preserve his dignity.

“Robert?” Elizabeth’s gentle voice suddenly filled the air. “Robert, can I check you over?”

Dr. Romano was silent and still for a moment before he opened his eyes. He was surprised to see that Carter was also there, “It’s strange for you, isn’t it?” Dr. Romano eeked quietly, wincing as he spoke. “Being on the other side of an attack in the hospital?”

Carter stilled, briefly taken aback because he hadn’t thought about it, but…he was indeed on the other side of things now. However, he knew it wasn’t the time to dwell on it even though Dr. Romano was trying his best to distract him with memories of Lucy and the stabbing on Valentine’s Day 2000.

All to avoid his own pain.

Carter sighed patiently, electing to give Dr. Romano grace over his comments because the man had just been attacked by his own obviously mentally ill grandson and that kind of experience would hurt anyone and also put them into shock to the point where they would say wild things.

“We’re going to take good care of you,” Carter promised in a gentle, kind voice. “Okay?”

All Dr. Romano did, however, was simply lay there and try not to think about how much he hurt. He didn’t feel like subjecting himself to a medical exam, but if he had to, he’d rather do it in silence.

“Luka?” Luka heard Abby’s concerned voice fill the air as he sat by Nathan’s bedside, watching the overexhausted young man sleep while Dave and Jing-Mei slept nearby. “Luka, are you awake?”

Luka looked up from Nathan’s sleeping form just in time to see an anxious looking Abby come over to him with an angry Dr. Bernstein in tow, “Doctor Kovac, I need your permission to put Lucas on an involuntary 21-day Peds Psych hold,” Dr. Bernstein spoke in a stern, but quiet voice. “Right now.”

“Why?” Luka asked in a quiet, confused voice, frowning at him. “I thought he was on a 72 hour…”

Dr. Bernstein scoffed, “That was before he choked and shoved Dr. Romano into a portable table in front of witnesses,” he spoke sternly, scowling. “Doctor Romano refuses to press criminal charges and I won’t as long as you authorize a hold where Psych can assess Lucas for disabilities. Peds will also oversee his trach care and not authorize any visitors until he’s less aggressive…”

“How is being cut off from his family going to help him?” Luka asked in a confused, upset voice.

Dr. Bernstein scoffed, “He’s a danger to his family now and it’s been proven with this pattern of attacks,” he argued firmly. “I need you to authorize the hold so we can get him the help he needs. We’ll also need to authorize someone from the ER who can act as a liaison…”

Luka suddenly looked and felt cornered, as he wanted Amy involved in the decision, but he didn’t know if she was at home or even awake if she was home. He also knew that Bernstein wasn’t going to be patient while he tried to look for her. Exhaling nervously, Luka found himself looking at Abby.

“What do I do?” Luka asked in a concerned voice, frowning at her. “I want to talk to Amy first…”

Abby gave Luka a look, “You need to do what’s best for your child,” she spoke quietly. “Even if it’s hard. Lucas is your child, and he obviously needs help. What do you think is best for him?”

Swallowing hard, Luka was silent for a few moments before he sighed grimly, “Where’s the form?” he asked in a pained voice, his expression pained as he wondered if his decision to authorize a 21-day Psych hold for Lucas would cause pain for his family. “I think it’s what Lucas needs.”

“I’ll get Lucas’s chart from Peds,” Dr. Bernstein replied firmly, nodding. “This is a wise decision.”

As Dr. Bernstein left, however, Luka found himself filled with grief as he wondered if he had made the right choice to put Lucas on a 21-day hold without talking it over with the rest of the family first.

“Luka, you’re doing the right thing for Lucas,” Abby’s voice suddenly broke through the air. “Just like you did for Joe back when he needed you to make that tough decision for his wellness.”

Completely taken aback, Luka blinked and stared at her, “I know I was angry at the time that you put the restraining order on me and sued for sole custody, but it really was what was best for him,” Abby spoke in a quiet voice. “Just like this is. Lucas…he assaulted you and Doctor Romano, Luka. He needs help that you and Amy can’t provide. I was just with Doctor Romano, by the way. It’s bad.”

Luka stilled as he continued looking at her with an expression of grief and guilt on his face, “Doctor Romano didn’t want to do anything, by the way,” Abby continued in a quiet, but anxious voice. “He’s just sitting on the gurney and not talking to anyone. He’s…he’s probably hurting so much right now…”

“He helped raise Lucas, so of course he is,” Luka replied softly. “I need to call Amy and let her know what I’ve done. There’s no way in hell I can avoid this conversation even though she’s tired.”

Abby sighed, “Do you want me to sit with Nathan so you can make the call outside of the room?” she offered softly. “If you stay in here, you might wake him or Dave or Doctor Chen up…”

Luka sighed before nodding and getting to his feet, “Thanks,” he replied tiredly. “I appreciate it.”

Nodding, Abby took a seat beside the bed and focused on the sleeping Nathan as Luka left the room with his cell and his entire being full of anxiety about what he was going to say to his wife.

“What happened?!”

Dr. Romano tensed at Mark’s voice, “Mark, we have it handled,” he heard Elizabeth say softly. “Carter and I are just examining Robert while he rests...”

“Doctor Romano’s on my staff, Elizabeth, so his health and safety’s my responsibility,” Mark’s concerned voice cut through the air again. “He looks like he was choked and…”

Dr. Romano suddenly felt a hand touch his arm, “Mark, let’s talk over here,” he heard Elizabeth say softly.

“Doctor Romano, it’s Doctor Carter,” Carter’s gentle voice suddenly cut through the air. “Can you…?”

Scoffing, Dr. Romano opened his eyes and frowned when he saw Carter and a concerned looking Haleh standing beside the gurney. A hospital gown was in Carter’s hands.

“No,” Dr. Romano spoke in a pissed off whisper, scowling at them both. “I’m not doing that.”

Carter and Haleh exchanged a look, “We need to check you for other injuries and make a report for Peds Psych,” Carter pressed gently. “Doctor Bernstein…”

Fire filled Dr. Romano’s eyes, “I told you I wasn’t going to press charges,” he replied angrily, pain shooting through his throat as he tried to raise his voice. “My throat…God…”

“And nobody’s going to make you,” Carter replied softly. “But Doctor Bernstein talked to Luka and Luka…he agreed to put Lucas on an involuntary 21-day hold in Peds Psych. Doctor Bernstein is getting the paperwork together and he’s also going to find a liaison…”

Dr. Romano’s scowl deepened, “Do you know what it’s going to do to Amy when she hears about this?” he spoke in a bitter whisper. “She’s battling cancer and anxiety about Abigail and Michael and Nathan’s TBI and Katie, Erinn, and Joe. To hear that Lucas has gone off the deep end and beat me up…it’s going to hurt her worse than any other pain in her life ever has or could.”

“It sounds like it’s hurting you too,” Carter observed quietly, his expression solemn.

Dr. Romano exhaled, “I really don’t know what to say or feel about any of this, to be quite honest,” he admitted in a numb tone, his angry expression fading as quickly as it had come. “I know what I should feel…what I’m probably expected to feel, but I…I don’t feel anything except tired…and sore.”

Carter looked thoughtful, “So just feel that,” he replied gently. “There’s no rush to feel anything else. There’s really not. What happened…it’s shocking and terrible and it’s going to affect you for a while.”

Dr. Romano responded to that by slowly pushing himself into a sitting position and slowly removing his white coat. It hurt like hell to be sitting up and to move around, but it gave him a sense of control in a situation that was so very much out of his control even though he didn’t want it to be. All of a sudden, however, Dr. Romano felt himself slip into a state of freefall that seemed fast and intense…

“…Doctor Romano?” Carter’s voice suddenly broke through the air. “You’re okay. I’ve got you.”

Dr. Romano, however, couldn’t bring himself to respond nor did he realize that he had closed his eyes in the process of slipping into freefall. Alarmed that Dr. Romano had slipped into a non-responsive state, Carter found himself yelling for assistance at the top of his lungs.

Luka, meanwhile, was sitting on the floor beside the desk and had one hand holding his phone to his ear while the other hand was covering his tear-filled eyes. He had managed to reach Amy on the house phone and was trying to explain what had happened since she had gone home and was also tearfully apologizing for having to commit Lucas for 21 days without taking a moment to talk to her.

On the other end of the phone, Amy, who was shocked and horrified to hear about all that had happened and that Luka had basically been bullied into making such a big decision with a moment’s notice, tried to calm Luka. All of a sudden, however, she paused, as she heard noise.

Frowning, Luka sent his love, ended the call, and quickly got to his feet, as he heard the same noise and it sounded very much like someone was…yelling for help. Carter…he was yelling for help.

Alarmed, Luka pocketed his phone and rushed towards the yelling just in time to see Carter plant an oxygen mask over an unconscious Dr. Romano’s face while Haleh got the man on monitors while Mark and Elizabeth were busy getting IV’s and trying to get Dr. Romano’s to respond to them.

Luka immediately felt his heart drop and shatter as he realized the situation surrounding Lucas’s unexpected, very violent assault on Dr. Romano had suddenly become much more complicated.

Chapter Text

“…Tony Malucci?”

Exhaustion filled Tony Malucci’s body as he slowly came to in his bed at Garden Vista Retirement Castle, but didn’t open his eyes. He could hear breathing and suddenly felt annoyed because he didn't want to be bothered after he had been kept awake late by the police the night before.

“If you’re here to harass me like the cops did last night, just go away,” Tony grumbled tiredly. “Those bastards were here well past 11 p.m.…”

A silence filled the air, “I heard about that,” a voice replied. “Night nurses said you were getting stressed out by their visit…”

“What are they gonna do?!” Tony grumbled irritably. “Call Dave?! Tell him I'm not feeling well and ask him to come?! The brat won’t see me. He thinks I’m a nasty child molester who isn’t fit to live on his own and he even told the court I tried to kill myself. Nobody around here knows how much trouble that godawful brat really is! If they did, they'd want to discipline him the same way I did!"

Footsteps filled the air and Tony forced himself to wake up, scowling as he saw an unfamiliar man in a suit and white coat approach him, “My name is Doctor Clemente,” Dr. Clemente spoke in a kind voice, offering the man a kind smile. “I…I was a friend of…”

Tony eyed Dr. Clemente, “Elton,” he replied in a quiet voice, suddenly recognizing Victor Clemente. “You’re the one who helped him with the truck…”

“Yes,” Dr. Clemente replied softly, nodding and smiling because he was pleased Tony recognized him. “I also helped with…”

More footsteps filled the air, “Hey, Victor, how are things going in here?” Morris’s voice suddenly filled the air. “Do you need some help?”

Tony scowled as a nervous, tired looking Morris approached the bed, “Hi there, my name is Doctor Morris and this is Doctor Clemente,” Morris explained nervously. “How are you doing today?”

“I’m tired and grouchy,” Tony replied crossly. “I’d like to get out of bed and eat to try and feel better, but I have no energy…”

Morris raised an eyebrow, “Well, why don’t Doctor Clemente and I help you with that?” he suggested kindly, offering a perky smile. “Maybe some breakfast will help you feel better…”

“Whatever,” Tony replied coldly, sighing, annoyed by the redheaded doctor’s perky kindness. “Could I have my chair, please?”

Morris retrieved the chair while Tony slowly sat up in his hospital-style bed, his shirt and cardigan hanging loosely on his body as he rose. He immediately eyed Morris and Dr. Clemente with a dark expression on his face, although he was less annoyed with Dr. Clemente, and saw that Morris was giving him a worried look.

“Could I please get some help?” Tony asked gruffly, realizing that the redhead wouldn’t leave him alone unless he was given something to do to make him feel useful.

“Oh, yes, of course!” Morris spoke anxiously. “Victor, did you wanna give me a hand?”

Tony scoffed as he was helped from his bed into the wheelchair, “We’re holiday volunteers, by the way, so um…do you want a candy cane or something festive?” Morris asked nervously, giving Tony a worried look. “I, um…I actually don’t know much about volunteering, but my friend died earlier this year, so…I’m just…volunteering so I don’t overgrieve. My roommate didn't feel like going out, so I got a colleague from my old hospital..."

“I’ve got Type 2 Diabetes, so no candy canes,” Tony replied gruffly, quickly tiring of the redhead doctor’s nervous chatter. “Um, I’d just like to go to breakfast. And be left alone. Thank you.”

Nodding, Morris quickly took control of the chair and wheeled Tony from his room, but didn’t stop chatting as they walked, as he was nervous around the older version of Dave and couldn't help but be nervous. Victor walked alongside them in silence, annoyed by the chatter, but too set on maintaining his cover to act out. Tony, meanwhile, simply sat in silence, electing to tolerate the chatter just in case Morris blabbled about his anti-social behavior later to care staff.

After what seemed like an eternity, they arrived at the dining area and Tony suddenly stilled, a shocked expression filling his face as he saw a tired looking Dale Edson, who was dressed in rumpled clothes, sitting at a table near the balcony with a frail looking man who was sporting white hair, a small smile, wrinkles, sweats, slippers, a loose shirt, a cardigan, and a feeding apron. Dale Edson, Tony observed, was silently feeding the man pureed food while ignoring what sounded like the buzzing of a cell-phone.

Tony stared at the two for a moment before he was wheeled away to another table by Morris and parked, “I’ll see if Dietary has your food,” Morris spoke kindly. “Victor, do you mind sitting with him?”

Without waiting for a response, Morris wandered off towards the kitchen, but made a brief stop at the table where Edson was sitting.

“Hi there, my name is Doctor Morris,” Morris spoke kindly, smiling at the two. “I'm a volunteer. Can I get you or your dad…?”

“He’s not my son, but he’s all I’ve got,” the white-haired man replied in a cheerful, slightly loud tone, smiling at Morris. “My son…my son isn’t around anymore. Neither is Dale’s family. But we found family in each other. We used to work at the same hospital, actually. I think Dale still does. As a surgeon. I was an attending in the ER for a while…before I got sick. I ended up moving to California with my son for treatment, but then I lost my son and the only people I know are here, so I came back. A former student of mine and a former colleague…they helped me find this nice apartment to live in, but they haven't visited me at all since they bought me the place. I actually met Dale when he used to come visit his parents. They were a lot sicker than I am, but he was good to them. Dale’s a good boy to visit me so much even though he doesn’t have to...”

Dale offered a small smile, “It’s not a problem, Doctor Lawrence,” he replied gently as Morris, who was overwhelmed by the rambling, moved away to check on others in the room. “I enjoy our visits…”

“I’m not a doctor anymore, kiddo,” Dr. Lawrence replied cheerfully, giving Dale a surprised look. “You can call me Gabe. In fact, I’d prefer it. Being called ‘doctor’ makes me remember what I…”

Dale nodded, “I’m glad to spend time with you, Gabe,” he spoke gently, quickly noticing that the older man was starting to ignore his food. “Are you still hungry or should we take a walk?”

“All food’s starting to taste the same now,” Dr. Lawrence replied in a slightly pained tone, offering him a pained look. “Can we just sit here and not touch it? Did you bring some poems?”

Dale looked a little concerned about the older man’s struggle with taste and food, but he quickly composed himself and got into a bag that was at his feet, quickly unearthing the book of poetry Carter had lent him from the hospital library. It was a book he had chosen to 'temporarily borrow' from County for the purpose of visiting Dr. Lawrence, as he knew the man liked reading poetry most mornings.

“I did,” Dale replied in an encouraging tone, nodding as he smiled at Dr. Lawrence. “You wanna read together or…?”

“I forgot my glasses in my room,” Dr. Lawrence lied in a shaky, apologetic tone, frowning at Dale. “Could you read to me? The print…the print’s too hard for me to read without my glasses…”

Even though Dale suspected that Dr. Lawrence was struggling cognitively to the point where reading was getting to be too challenging for him, he didn’t want to embarrass him by asking about that, so he simply nodded and opened the book while ignoring the buzzing of the cell phone that sat in his pants pocket. As he read, the buzzing stopped for a few moments before starting up again.

Unknown to Dale or Dr. Lawrence, Tony had overheard all of Dr. Lawrence’s comments about Dale's personal life and was now deep in thought about how to deal with what he had overheard.

“Dale, where the hell did you go?” Carter muttered worriedly as he lingered at the desk with the ER phone to his ear, not wanting to use his cell while at work. “Doctor Dremmer and I…”

Footsteps filled the air and Carter sighed as a tired, but very worried Dr. Dremmer came wandering over to him with a bag slung over one shoulder, “I’m so sorry,” Dr. Dremmer apologized in a tired tone. “I fell asleep for less than half an hour and when I woke up, Dale was gone and all of his things were gone too. I do not usually work night shifts. Not anymore. I’m usually at home in bed at night unless there’s a crisis…”

“He’s not answering his phone,” Carter replied with a sigh. “Did he leave a note or a text?”

Dr. Dremmer sighed before holding out a small paper, one that Carter took and skimmed, “…I went to Garden Vista to see someone important,” Carter murmured, frowning. “I’m going to go home after my visit’s over and just be by myself. Thanks for taking care of me. I left my number if you want to stay in touch…if you’re not too scared to…”

“Tony Malucci is someone important?” Dr. Dremmer asked, deeply confused as to why Dale would go see the man after Tony had threatened him on the phone.

Carter sighed, “Maybe Dale went to talk to Dave before he left?” he guessed softly. “Um, maybe we should ask…”

Dr. Dremmer sighed, “Why would Dale go see a man who threatened him over the phone?” he asked worriedly.

“I’m hoping Dave can tell me,” Carter spoke in a concerned tone as he made tracks to Exam One.

Daniel’s call woke Dave early. Dave promptly answered  his son's call without complaint.

He was awake anyway, so it hadn’t been hard for him to answer the phone and give his son attention. Jing-Mei, meanwhile, slept soundly in the cot in the corner of the room after he had convinced her it was better for both her and the baby that she sleep laying down.

Nathan, meanwhile, also slept soundly in his own bed across the room while being held by an exhausted looking Luka, who had finally come in around four and sat briefly before cuddling Nathan and going to sleep. Dave had already been awake by then, but Luka hadn’t noticed him. A bit of chatter about Dr. Romano being attacked had followed the man in, but Dave hadn’t known how to react to that…he had been too stunned to even believe it.

But it had kept him from being able to go back to sleep. So he simply let himself be lost in worries over Dr. Romano and memories of the shooting on Halloween and the stabbing on Valentine’s Day 2000 that had killed Lucy. Dave had sat awake for nearly an hour lost in memories before Daniel’s call, grimly remembering his own near-death experiences, Lucy and Carter’s attack, and he found himself wondering if Dr. Romano was going to meet the same fate as Lucy.

Daniel’s cheerful chatter, however, had managed to distract him from his terrifying thoughts for a little while. Until Jack Carter had come and apologized, saying that it was time for Daniel to get up and eat and get on with the day. So Dave had sent his love and had let himself be alone again…even though he hadn’t wanted to be alone with his memories.

Dave was so lost in his troubling memories that he didn’t hear the door open. Nor did he hear footsteps approach his bed.

“Dave?” Dave suddenly heard Carter ask worriedly. “What…what are you doing awake already? It’s…it’s just after six.”

Dave sighed tiredly, but didn’t look towards the voice, “I’ve been up since four, John,” he replied in a quiet tone. “My toes are still tingly, but…my mind…it’s just so…full. Especially since I heard about…”

Carter frowned, “You heard?” he asked in a quiet, worried voice.

“Some chatter came in when Luka came to sit with Nathan,” Dave replied tiredly, frowning at him. “I was already awake. It made me think of what happened to you and Lucy. Like…what happened, anyway?”

Carter paused, “Doctor Romano was visiting a patient and the patient got violent with him” he replied quietly, his expression tentative as he looked at Dave briefly before his gaze wandered over to the sleeping Luka and Nathan. “I don’t want to say too much right now. Just in case…”

Dave’s face immediately fell, immediately catching on to what Carter was implying, “You’re kidding,” he breathed in a pained voice, his eyes going wide as he realized who Dr. Romano’s attacker was. “No…no, no, no. Seriously? Why?!”

“I don’t know,” Carter replied in a faint whisper, shaking his head because he really didn’t know why Lucas had attacked Dr. Romano.

Tears filled Dave’s eyes and he balled up his hand and held it against his mouth so he wouldn’t cry out loud, “Doctor Corday’s with him right now,” Carter explained softly. “He…Dave…”

All of a sudden, Dave felt Carter hugging him gently and Dave stilled briefly before he simply just let himself be hugged. Dave suddenly felt like he hadn’t done enough to teach any of Amy’s kids how to behave properly, as he had helped raise them and his failure…made him want to punish himself. His father, Tony, had always encouraged him to punish himself when he failed, and he had failed…

Before he could stop himself, Dave found himself silently biting his knuckles in an attempt to punish himself. As Dave lingered in the pain, he suddenly felt his hand being pulled out of his mouth and he found Carter staring at him sporting a half-horrified, half-angry expression on his face.

“What are you doing?!” Carter hissed in a pissed tone. “Are you…biting yourself?”

Dave froze, wide-eyed as he stared into Carter’s face, “…My father, Tony…he…he was a big believer in self-punishment,” he finally spoke in a quiet, grim voice, his expression solemn. “As well as…corporeal…I…”

After a moment, tears filled Dave’s eyes and Carter sighed before pulling Dave against him, simply holding him, and gently stroking his hair. Again, Dave simply let himself be held until Carter was ready to release him, “You’re talking to Doctor Meyers later,” Carter spoke in a firm, but quiet tone, giving Dave a stern, brotherly look. “That’s non-negotiable. And I’m sitting with you when you do.”

Dave nodded, his expression pained because he was scared Carter would suddenly hate him for what he had had to endure in his life, “Um, I came in here to talk to you about your dad anyway, believe it or not,” Carter continued quietly, frowning at Dave’s obvious pain. “Dale disappeared and I was wondering…”

“He and my dad aren’t friends,” Dave interrupted quickly, shaking his head. “My dad actually hates him.”

Carter frowned, “So why would Dale go to Garden Vista then?” he asked quietly. “His parents?”

Dave suddenly got a funny look on his face, “John, Dale’s parents…they, um, passed away a while ago,” he revealed quietly. “I do know of one other person he’d go see, though. Because his parents were friends with the guy. Although, I thought the guy was more friends with Greene and Chief…”

Carter eyed Dave suspiciously and Dave sighed, “Do you remember Doctor Lawrence?” Dave asked quietly. “He was an attending here a long time ago…”

“Doctor Lawrence?” Carter asked quietly, stunned. “I heard Doctor Lawrence went to California…”

Dave sighed, “He did go for a while to live with his son, but then he lost his son and ended up needing to come back to Chicago cause nobody in California could take care of him,” he replied patiently. “I found this out once when I was up at Garden Vista to visit my dad and saw Dale sitting with Doctor Lawrence in one of the courtyards. They were talking about Dale’s parents. I, um, eavesdropped…”

Carter’s eyes widened at that, “From what I was able to get from the staff there, Dale goes up and helps Doctor Lawrence with breakfast most days unless he has an early surgery and then comes to work and then usually goes and visits him at night too unless work keeps him,” Dave spoke quietly. “Don’t tell him I said anything…”

“He did that, worked here, and volunteered at your clinic?” Carter spoke in a stunned whisper. “That doesn’t leave a lot of time for rest or maintaining an apartment or really having a life outside of work…”

Before Dave, who suddenly looked a bit nervous at that, could reply, the door opened and Haleh wandered in with a medical cart, “Morning,” Dave spoke in a sleepy tone, quickly putting his guard up. “Um…how are you, Haleh?”

“I’m going to see about your breakfast,” Carter spoke gently. “And that appointment.”

Dave nodded glumly, but Carter left the room before a word of protest could be uttered.

Carter quickly found Dr. Dremmer sitting on a row of chairs near Exam One, his bag on his lap while his phone was pressed to his ear, “…Do you want me to come pick you up?” he heard Dr. Dremmer ask softly, his expression full of tender care. “You sound much too spent to take the EL. And it’s cold…and it snowed last night. Yes, the car I have has four-wheel drive…”

Carter paused, realizing that Dr. Dremmer was talking to Dale, “Would you let me at least meet you at your place?” Dr. Dremmer asked softly, suddenly frowning. “With warm food?”

There was a click and Dr. Dremmer sighed tiredly, his expression concerned, “I got a ‘maybe’ out of him,” he replied grimly. “I don’t understand. He was so…open last night. Maybe I…maybe I was too much…”

Carter was quiet for a moment before he sighed, “Or maybe Tony Malucci convinced the cops that Dale was lying about the harassment,” he commented quietly. “Earlier this morning, when someone came by to check on Doctor Romano, they mentioned that they were grateful to be called to County for something other than some delulu doc making stories up about harmless, bedridden seniors…”

Dr. Dremmer froze and scowled, “I don’t believe Dale made it up,” he replied in a pissed tone. “It made him sick enough to need hospital treatment…”

“I don’t believe he made it up either,” Carter spoke worriedly. “But…it may explain his mood. I think Dale’s depressed. I think Dale never stopped being depressed. He tried to find a way out, but depression and anxiety…that stuff…it doesn’t just stop. I wasn’t around Dale long enough to know what his life was really like after he lost Harper and I regret it, looking back. I should have been a better friend..."

Dr. Dremmer sighed, “John, you are preaching to the choir about depression,” he replied quietly. “It’s not easy to shake, but…it’s possible to find help for…”

The ringing of a cell suddenly filled the air and Dr. Dremmer quickly answered the phone, “Hello?” he spoke softly. “Yes…yes, of course I can meet you at the EL stop near County...”

Carter paused as Dr. Dremmer went quiet, “You’re not any trouble,” he spoke softly. “Just get there safely. Please.”

There was a click and Dr. Dremmer exhaled softly while putting his phone away, “Dale just asked me to come get him from the EL station near County,” he explained quietly. “Um, Carol is supposed to come by today with the girls to see Doug. I talked to her late last night right before I fell asleep. I should stay, but…Dale sounded so sad and tired on the phone. Would you mind helping Carol when she gets here with her girls? I’m going to go out…”

“Is your leg going to be able to handle the cold?” Carter asked worriedly. “I checked in on you both last night and I noticed you struggling with pain when you were sitting with Dale…”

Dr. Dremmer scoffed, “Honestly, it’s not, but I am very, very worried about him,” he replied in a frank tone, giving Carter a look. “I don’t, um, often show weakness to anyone, so please don’t discuss what you saw…”

“Let me go up to the EL,” Carter offered quietly. “I just have to call up to Dietary and Psych for someone and then I can go. It’ll be less hard on me than it will you…”

Dr. Dremmer offered Carter a look of disbelief, followed by a smirk, “Oh, my God, you are totally reminding me of your grandmother right now,” he replied in an amused tone. “She was always trying to do or say things to try and make my life easier whether it was over the phone or when she’d come to the West Coast to visit me. It’s not offending me in the least, by the way. It’s just reminding me how much I miss her. You have her caring spirit.”

Carter looked thoughtful, “I miss her too,” he admitted softly, nodding. “So, Doctor Dremmer, did you want to stay inside and let me go to the EL? You look like you could use a rest until Carol gets here…”

“I could also probably use some privacy to check and maintain my leg,” Dr. Dremmer commented softly. “I’m doing my best to not use my pain pills, as they will make me sleep for hours…”

Carter nodded, “We have a locker room,” he replied quietly. “Would that work for a private place?”

Before Dr. Dremmer could reply, there was a soft banging sound and both he and Carter turned to see an anxious looking Sarah Ross and Carol with two young, dark-haired girls in tow, all of them dressed for winter, “Oh,” Dr. Dremmer spoke in a kind voice. “No rest for the wicked.”

Carter watched as the older man wandered over to the door and proceeded to let the group in, only to smile when the young girls embraced him, “Uncle Will!” the two girls said in unison, their tones excited.

“Hi there, darlings,” Dr. Dremmer spoke warmly, gently kissing the tops of their heads before he looked at Carol. “Hi Carol…”

Carol gently joined the girls in embracing Dr. Dremmer, “How was Doug last night?” she asked softly. “Wait, Will, why do you look so tired? You look ready to fall down…”

As Carol, Sarah, Tess, and Kate fussed over Dr. Dremmer, Carter found himself secretly amused at Carol mother henning the older man, as Dr. Dremmer looked like he needed it and would accept it only from a few, including Carol, Gamma…and obviously Dale.

“…Well, they were short-handed last night, so I actually volunteered my time,” Dr. Dremmer spoke gently. “It made me miss patient care…”

Twin gasps filled the air and Tess and Kate suddenly darted across the floor, “Daddy!” they cried in unison, their tones anxious.

Carol turned towards their noise, “Carol, he’s okay,” Dr. Dremmer spoke in a quiet, but firm tone. “He’s injured, yes, but he’s going to be…oh…”

Carter’s eyes widened as Carol clung to Dr. Dremmer like a security blanket while tears filled her eyes, “Okay,” Dr. Dremmer spoke softly, gently holding her close. “We’ll go over to Doug right now and I’ll explain everything. Okay? And then you will be able to know that he is okay. Okay?”

Carol nodded, “I know he’s okay, as I’ve been here, but…” she began shakily.

“You probably had nightmares about all this,” Dr. Dremmer finished softly. “It’s normal. Come on.”

While Dr. Dremmer led Carol and Sarah off to Doug, Carter wandered over to the desk. Once he found a phone, he quickly dialled Dietary and ordered breakfast for Dave and then dialled Psych. Dr. Myers wasn’t in yet, but Carter left a quiet message for the man that Dave needed to talk to him as soon as he was available and then thanked him before hanging up. As Carter was preparing to go get his coat for the walk to the EL, he suddenly spotted Elizabeth poke her head out of the curtained area where Dr. Romano had been left to recuperate after the events of the night before.

“Carter, Robert’s showing signs of waking up,” Elizabeth spoke worriedly. “I sent Mark home with Rachel and Ella and said I’d stay, but Robert will probably want to speak to you since he saw you last before he passed out…”

Frowning, Carter quickly made his way over to the curtained area, “I was the Attending on duty tonight and keeping an eye on a lot of people,” he spoke anxiously as he ducked inside the curtain just in time to see the masked Dr. Romano stir. “Doctor Romano? Doctor Romano…it’s Doctor Carter…”

Dr. Romano, who was covered by a blanket and his clothes, frowned as he peered up at Carter. He tried to speak, but he was prevented from speaking due to the oxygen mask on his face.

Dr. Romano’s hand suddenly shot out from underneath the blankets and went straight for the mask, knocking it off his face before anyone could stop him. Carter tried to move closer, but Dr. Romano tried to slap him away, “It’s okay,” Carter spoke anxiously, his eyes wide with shock. “It’s Doctor Carter. It’s not Lucas.”

For a moment, Dr. Romano was still and then a tear escaped his left eye before he rolled on to his side and promptly threw up on the floor, barely missing Carter and Elizabeth’s shoes. Elizabeth looked horrified, but Carter understood: Dr. Romano was still fresh off of being attacked by someone who he thought was safe and was still working through his pain…and probably would be for a while.

Without hesitating, Carter got some tissues from the wall box and proceeded to gently wipe Dr. Romano’s mouth for him. He then threw the tissues away, cleaned his hands, and then gently put the nose tube from the wall in Dr. Romano’s nose. Dr. Romano breathed deeply before promptly closing his eyes and taking slow breaths.

Carter gently adjusted the blanket so it was covering Dr. Romano more and then stepped away to let him rest, “Um, would you mind staying with him while he rests?” he asked softly. “I need to go up to the EL to meet someone. Page me if he gets any worse or wants to talk to me, okay?”

Elizabeth nodded and Carter left, determined to get to the EL by the time Dale arrived and gently convince him to come back to the hospital for at least a conversation, as he was very curious about his friend’s extra activities. Elizabeth, meanwhile, sat by Dr. Romano’s bed and watched him sleep briefly before getting his phone out and calling Mark to see if he could bring Romano some food or access the man’s house to bring him some personal items.

Mark’s phone buzzed in his pocket as he walked up the steps with Rachel and Ella in tow and grocery bags in hand. He had been helping Rachel and Ella get ready to go Thanksgiving shopping since it was his day off when Erinn had called, saying that her mother was sick.

Deciding to check on Amy because he was worried, and because he also knew how tough cancer treatments could be, Mark had quickly bundled his kids up, stopped by a grocery store for food, and had come over.

Now, as he stood at the door, knocking softly, he wondered if he should call 9-1-1 because it seemed too quiet inside.

All of a sudden, however, there was a click and the door opened, revealing a tired looking Amy wearing sweats, slippers, a loose t-shirt that looked like it belonged to Luka, and a robe. Her hair was done up in a loose ponytail and she was wearing glasses, to Mark’s shock. She stared at Mark, Ella, and Rachel briefly before opening the door.

“Erinn told me she called,” Amy spoke apologetically as she led them inside. “I got a little sick this morning because County called…”

Mark frowned as Amy sighed tiredly before looking at Ella and Rachel, “Joe, Katie, and Erinn are still sleeping, but if you’re hungry, you can eat whatever you can find,” she spoke tiredly.

“Can we wake them up?” Rachel offered softly. “You look like you could use a rest.”

Amy nodded and was quiet until Rachel and Ella had discarded their things and disappeared upstairs, “Psych and Peds are both recommending Lucas get an assessment for ADHD while on the 21-day hold,” she continued in a grim tone as she wandered into the kitchen with Mark at her heels. “They’ve also decided that I can be allowed to visit on Thanksgiving because Lucas seems to already be sorry for what happened. He didn’t know it was his grandpa he attacked. He thought it was someone coming to hurt him, apparently.”

Mark’s eyes narrowed, “I told them I’d come see Lucas then and gave them permission to begin assessing him,” Amy commented grimly, getting into a cupboard of mugs. “Coffee? I usually keep it brewing for Luka, but…he stayed with Nathan last night…”

“Oh, no, I’m good,” Mark replied softly, holding up the grocery bags. “I got you groceries, actually.”

Amy looked surprised, “Thank you, but I don’t want special treatment,” she spoke nervously. “I know people have concerns about me going back to work, but…this is to help Ray graduate medical school. I believe that people shouldn’t be stopped from doing what they want to do just because they have disabilities…oh…God…”

Mark’s eyes widened as Amy quickly rushed over to the sink and promptly vomited into the empty basin before cursing anxiously. Mark set the bags on the counter, moved over to the sink, and held her hair back while she vomited.

Once Amy was done, she straightened up and got her hair away from Mark, “Thanks,” she breathed softly before inching her way over to a kitchen stool, planting herself there immediately. “Um…there’s some gingerale in the fridge…helps with the stomach.”

Nodding, Mark quickly found the gingerale in the fridge and got it to Amy as Rachel came into the kitchen holding a sniffling Joe, “He’s needing something,” Rachel announced softly, frowning as she noticed Amy take a drink of gingerale. “Chemo sickness?”

“Mhm,” Amy replied softly. “I don’t think I should go anywhere this morning, but I have to check on my father at some point today. He…he was attacked last night. Luka…Luka called me…”

Tears filled Amy’s eyes and she promptly took another sip of gingerale to calm herself while Mark took Joe, “Hey, Rachel, why don’t you go and see if Erinn and Katie are ready to wake up?” Mark suggested gently. “Amy, why don’t you take a minute? I can take care of…”

“Thank you,” Amy replied in a shaky tone, placing a hand over her eyes to compose herself.

The EL Platform closest to County was cold, but Carter didn’t mind the cold. He was too anxious to really focus on it. He was anxious because he felt like Dale had lied…to both him and Dave…he just didn’t know about what yet.

Unfortunately, Carter was prevented from dwelling too much on it because a train approached and he could see Dale lingering near the doors with a hand clinging to the support rod, an anxious expression on his face as he looked at the floor. The train stopped and Dale got off, immediately freezing in his tracks and looking pissed when he saw Carter there.

Instead of saying anything, however, Dale marched off towards the stairs like he was in a hurry to get somewhere and Carter followed after him, “Dale, do you wanna come back to the hospital?” Carter called out as they moved down the sidewalk away from County. “It’s cold out…”

“If I don’t get back to Sunshine House by 6:45, I’ll be out of luck for breakfast, so if you wanna follow me, you gotta keep up!” Dale called out, not stopping.

Carter’s eyes widened, recognizing the name Sunshine House, as he knew that to be a shelter in the area that housed single people and families who struggled with troublesome circumstances. Alarmed at what his friend and colleague was implying, Carter raced through the snow and caught Dale when he was about two blocks from County and half a block from Sunshine House.

Dale didn’t speak and Carter didn’t force him to. They simply speedwalked together in silence until they reached Sunshine House and Carter simply followed Dale inside, lingering nearby while Dale spoke a few words to people at the front desk before moving down one of the hallways. Carter began to feel uneasy as he looked around: why was Dale moving around a shelter as if he lived there?

The desk staffer suddenly nodded at Carter as if he were welcoming him and so Carter followed after Dale, reaching him just in time to see him go into one of the rooms. Carter moved into the doorway, frowning when he saw Dale sit on a messy adult-sized bed still wearing his winter coat, get his blood sugar monitor out of his pocket, and proceed to check his blood sugar while sighing at the monitor.

Carter took a minute to look around. The room had a bed, a bedside table that held a lamp and a phone charger, a generic picture on the wall, and shelves that held a small urn, an ashes necklace, a photo album, folded pants and shirts, a mess of ties, a few books, and other knick knacks including a calendar, and a small chair and table in the far corner. There was also a small metal rack in the corner that held a couple of garment bags on hangers. A mess of shoes were on the floor just below the garment bags.

“You can come in,” Dale spoke in a tired voice. “I’m sure you have questions.”

Carter came in and settled himself in the chair, “I do,” he replied quietly, his expression troubled as he gazed around the miniscule room. “I thought…at least I had heard that you were living in Dave’s old apartment? Was that a lie or…?”

“It’s something Dave and I came up with together to protect me from the judgment of County,” Dale replied softly as he looked up at Carter solemnly. “I just got so depressed after not being able to recover from Harper’s death that I couldn’t maintain what I had and ended up getting thrown out on the street. I lived on the street for a bit and then I got…found by this street team who ran this clinic. I ended up recognizing Dave and Jeanie Boulet as being part of that team. And they recognized me. They wondered what I was doing out and about in the cold. They got me to go with them to their clinic and they had me stay there a few days cause the weather was crap outside and they didn't want me to die even though I didn't care at the time. They, um, eventually got me into here because the idea of living alone in some apartment, it was too much on me mentally. Dave, Jeanie, and Dave’s foster sister…helped me get a room in here based on the fact that I was the fiance' of someone lost in 9/11 and I developed PTSD, depression, and ideations from that loss. I needed somewhere safe to be and I'm here, but I'm also still on a therapy waitlist. Have been for years..."

Sorrow filled Carter's expression as he listened intently to his suffering friend speak, "Anyway, the shelter and I made an agreement with Dave, Jeanie, and Dave's sister's help," Dale continued quietly, his expression still solemn. "I give free medical care to people here from time to time and I get a room, shower time, and free food in exchange. They know I also work, so I only give the medical care on some weekends. I also agreed to try and get external therapy and do wellness check-ins with the staff once in a while. Nobody from County knows I live here or about anything I told you, by the way. I get my mail sent to a P.O. box so nobody is the wiser."

"Nobody knows how much you're really struggling?" Carter replied in a quiet, pained voice, his expression trouble. "Dale..."

A beeping sound suddenly filled the air and Dale sighed, dropping his monitor and his coat on the bed as he got up, “6:45,” he spoke with a sigh. “Sugar’s a little low from my early morning visit to my parents, but breakfast should…”

“By the way, how is Doctor Lawrence?” Carter asked bluntly, giving his friend an incredulous look as he also stood. “I thought he was closer to Doctor Weaver or even Doctor Greene…”

Dale froze and sighed irritably, figuring Carter pried the truth out of Dave, “Doctor Weaver’s busy with a kid and climbing the career ladder and Doctor Greene’s been continually recovering from his brain cancer, is Chief of Staff of the ER, and has a family,” he replied as he left the room. “They're too busy to see Doctor Lawrence even though he misses them. I don't mind visiting him. It cheers us both up. Besides, I…I promised…”

Carter silently trailed after Dale, “You promised?” Carter pressed as they walked down the hallway together.

Nodding, Dale silently wandered into a large area that resembled a cafeteria, an area where other residents were starting to gather, “My parents were only in the locked unit for the last few months of their lives and before that, they were in the same area where Doctor Lawrence currently is,” he explained quietly. “They made friends with each other, played cards, fussed over me when I visited…”

Carter watched as a few of the residents waved to Dale before lining up at a food service counter and grabbing trays, “Hey, I gotta go get in line, but please give my apologies to Will,” Dale spoke in a quiet voice. “He got so tired, and I didn’t want to wake him to say goodbye, so I just left him a note and left quietly…”

Before Carter could reply, Dale joined the line and grabbed a meal tray before nervously engaging in small talk with others in the growing line. Carter, meanwhile, moved away from the line and lingered against the far wall to wait for Dale to get his food, as their conversation was far from over.

“Doug?”

Pain filled Doug’s body as he forced himself to wake up. His expression quickly melted into one of shock when he saw Carol, his mother, Tess, and Kate all clustered at his bedside, “Hey,” Doug spoke in a groggy voice, forcing himself to muster a smile. “It’s…it’s early…”

Tess and Kate responded by gently hugging him, “Oh, my princesses,” Doug murmured lovingly, exhaling weakly as he held them and stroked their dark hair. “How was your flight and visit with your Grandma Sarah?”

Tess lifted her head and gave Doug a curious look, “Gramma Helen came for supper last night and said we’ll be here for a while cause we have a brother,” she reported softly, giving Doug a confused look.

Doug’s eyes widened and he promptly gave Carol a look, “I was venting to my mom on the phone yesterday because I don’t like how anxious this has made you,” Carol explained apologetically. “I didn’t know she was going to tell the girls…”

“Is it true, Daddy?” Kate asked softly as she lifted her head. “Do we have a brother?”

Doug paused, “Um…I don’t exactly know yet, but there is a young man who might be my son, a young man that was born when I was a lot younger,” he replied shakily, mad as hell at Helen Hathaway for daring to bring Nathan up to Tess and Kate. “That young man and I did a test to see if he is my son. It should be ready…soon. Really soon...”

“Is he nice?” Tess asked softly, suddenly looking eager. “We’ve always wanted a brother.”

Doug looked taken aback, unsure of how to describe his brief interaction with Nathan, and Sarah Ross quickly stepped in, “Girls, why don’t we go to the cafeteria?” Sarah suggested gently. “Your dad and your mom need time together…”

Tess and Kate pouted, but Carol gently kissed them both before sending them with their paternal grandmother, “Nathan’s not here anymore,” Carol commented worriedly as she sat beside Doug’s bed. “Was he discharged?”

“No,” Doug replied in a groggy voice, exhaling as he felt his pain increase. “His mother asked that he be moved, and I not talk to him anymore until we get the results back. She’s recovered from a traumatic brain injury, I guess…and she says Nathan’s also exhibiting signs of one, so she’s very protective of him. I can understand her concerns. I mean, we were both…involved in that awful thing with Elton years ago…and we’re both still struggling with it."

Carol gently patted Doug’s hand and he promptly scowled at her, “Why would your mother feel the need to tell the girls about Nathan?” he asked irritably. “I wasn’t planning on saying anything until the results…”

“Doug?” Dr. Dremmer’s gentle voice suddenly filled the air as Dr. Dremmer approached the bed with a box of tea and a cup of hot water in his hands. “Want some tea? I got it from the lounge here while you were still sleeping.”

Doug raised an eyebrow at his boss, “Have you been here all night?” he asked tiredly.

“I gave my time cause they were short staffed,” Dr. Dremmer replied simply, quickly putting a teabag in the cup of hot water. “Lemon tea okay?”

Doug nodded and looked amused, “You worked outside of an office?” he asked groggily. “How was that?”

Dr. Dremmer chuckled, “I didn’t get involved in any traumas or anything like that,” he replied in a kind voice. “But being involved in patient care again was…interesting. I mostly looked after one...”

Doug chuckled softly, smirking, “And how was keeping Doctor Edson company?” he asked in an amused tone.

Dr. Dremmer blushed, “An old colleague of mine…he mentioned he had seen you and Doctor Edson spending time together,” Doug continued, smiling at his boss. “If there’s something there, I’m very happy for both of you. It’s been a long time since you’ve been really happy, Will. You deserve to be happy. Nobody knows that better than me.”

“We’ll see where it goes,” Dr. Dremmer replied softly, sighing. “I know what I deserve, but life…”

Doug gave him a look, “Stop being self conscious about your leg and your brain,” he spoke firmly. “You may have lost your leg and hurt your brain, but you didn’t lose who you are as a person. Like…you hardly ever socialize outside of work and work conferences. You also hardly ever leave work if you can avoid going home. I know that because I’ve seen the cot in your office…”

Dr. Dremmer exhaled softly before grabbing a loose chair and sitting with them, “Doctor Edson…Dale…he called me ‘sunshine,” he spoke in a quiet voice, daring to smile as he spoke. “And he kissed my leg. The…altered one. He also called me perfect, beautiful, bright, warm, welcoming and safe. We, um, ended up in bed…”

Carol gaped at that and promptly offered a mischievous grin and giggle, “Go get em, Tiger,” Doug chuckled mischievously. “Good for you at grabbing a little happiness for yourself. You seem calmer than you did when you first came to Chicago…”

“It’s Dale’s fault,” Dr. Dremmer replied softly, smiling before he sighed. “Anyway, enough about me. How are you feeling? Did any reporters come pester you about rescuing those kids?”

Shaking his head no, Doug exhaled again before wincing, “I think it’s time for you to take a little pain medication, Douglas,” Dr. Dremmer spoke in a gentle, but firm tone. “Stop pretending to be tough.”

Doug promptly found the pain button and pressed it for meds, “Do you want some help with tea now?” Dr. Dremmer asked softly, peering at the cup. “It seems ready.”

“Sure,” Doug replied softly. “Can you feed it to me? My hands are still a little…”

Dr. Dremmer nodded and picked up the teacup while Carol took Doug’s hands and began to massage them, hoping to relieve his obvious anxiety. Once Doug had finished the tea, he turned towards Carol and promptly drifted off, thoroughly relaxed by her hand massages.

Dr. Dremmer, meanwhile, began cleaning up the tea when all of a sudden, his phone rang.

“Is that gonna be enough for you?” Carter asked worriedly as he eyed the toast, spoonful of scrambled eggs, two slices of ham, and two slices of bacon and the cup of apple juice that Dale was at a corner table with. “You’re hypoglycemic and you work in a busy ER.”

Dale scoffed before picking at his plate, “I thought you went to work, John,” he grumbled. “Or are you going to report me to Anspaugh for living in a shelter just because my mental health was too unstable for me to keep my apartment? If you out me, you’ll get Malucci in trouble too. He’s the one that arranged this. Him and his sister and Jeanie Boulet…”

“I worked all night, so I think I’m off now,” Carter replied gently, seating himself at the table because he wanted to communicate to Dale that he had a friend even if he didn't think he had one.

Dale made a face at Carter seating himself, but didn’t speak and instead focused on eating. Carter, meanwhile, studied him intently, “Where’s Will at anyway?” Dale finally asked. “I was expecting him…”

“His leg can’t handle cold well, so he’s still at the hospital,” Carter replied gently. “I offered…”

Dale suddenly looked grim, “How would I explain this to him anyway?” he asked grimly. “That I live here because having my own place is too much for me to handle mentally? This is sort of a wellness shelter…for people in need of a safe place to be because their circumstances are too much for them. And it’s also been my home for, well...a while. Will, meanwhile, probably lives like you and the rest of the Carters. I’m a surgeon living in a wellness shelter, for God’s sake. Who the hell wants that kind of complication in their life?”

Carter went quiet and stayed quiet while Dale finished his breakfast, “I think you need to tell Anspaugh about where you’re living,” Carter finally said quietly. “And Doctor Benton…he’s your emergency contact, right? And Doctor Greene…”

“Doesn’t give a crap,” Dale finished grimly, giving Carter a look. “He never apologized to me properly for my lack of a locker and the box in the corner, so I’m taking it as I’m garbage to him. By the way, when I was at breakfast with Doctor Lawrence this morning, I promised him I’d visit him on Thanksgiving for a very early meal, so I might offer to come to work around noon. That’ll give people time with their families. Will and I did make plans to meet with some friends of his on Thanksgiving, but…”

Carter sighed, “Keep your plans,” he replied softly. “All of them. I can cover for you. You deserve a happy Thanksgiving. I’m probably going to be at the hospital anyway since Dave arranged for Daniel to visit that day, so I might as well be on the clock…at least for a while. Abby’s already decided she’s going to take the day off to be with our daughter so my dad can bring Daniel to see Dave. Abby actually took a nap after Luka decided to stay over last night. It was surprisingly slow..."

“Speaking of naps, I might do that since I’m not on the clock today…as far as I know,” Dale replied in a tired voice. “My sugar’s better, but the cold and visiting with Doctor Lawrence…it drained me emotionally….so I might just…”

A buzzing sound suddenly filled the air and Dale sighed irritably as he fished his phone out of his pants pocket and answered it, “Hello?” he spoke in a nervous voice. “Oh…hello Doctor Anspaugh.”

“…Mark called in and he’s running errands til noon, Doctor Edson, so we need you and Carter to cover so the other Doctor Carter can go home,” Dr. Anspaugh explained in a patient voice after Carter and Dale had returned to the ER only to find Dr. Anspaugh and Abby at the desk. “Doctor Kovac’s paid leave also came into effect at midnight…”

Abby sighed, offering an apologetic look, “I got a call from your dad this morning that Maggie woke up very cranky, so I need to go spend some time with her,” she explained in an apologetic tone. “Maybe I can get Daniel to help me cheer her up. Daniel likes Maggie.”

“Speaking of Daniel, I need to check on Dave,” Carter spoke quietly. “And, Doctor Anspaugh, I think Doctor Edson needs to talk to you…”

Dale froze and Carter gave him an encouraging look, “I’d rather not do this here,” Dale finally said quietly. “Could we talk in your office, Doctor Anspaugh? Please?”

Dr. Anspaugh frowned, “Didn’t Doctor Greene apologize?” he asked quietly, his tone concerned. "Properly? I asked him to!"

“Um, this isn’t about Doctor Greene,” Dale spoke nervously, paling as Kerry wandered in for the day alongside Sam, Frank, and other nurses. “This is about my…um…current living situation…”

Kerry froze, Abby looked concerned, but Dr. Anspaugh paused, “I’m sort of living in a wellness shelter right now for people who are struggling with their lives,” Dale spoke nervously, silently hugging himself as he looked at the floor in shame. “Um…I have been for a few…um…God…”

The ER went still at that. Even Frank, who was prepared to offer Dale tips on dealing with Mark's hostility, froze in his tracks at hearing that. Near Doug’s bed, Dr. Dremmer and Carol also paused at hearing that revelation while Doug, who had tired out after his tea, slept soundly.

Nobody said anything for what seemed like an eternity and Carter secretly felt pissed for what he perceived as a lack of compassion being shown.

“Can I just get back to work, please?” Dale finally asked timidly, too ashamed to look up.

Again, silence filled the air and so Dale silently fled to the staff room, ashamed of what he had just done.

“I need to go to my office,” Dr. Anspaugh spoke firmly, appalled at what he had just heard. “I need to call Doctor Greene. Doctor Carter, have Doctor Edson work with you today. I’d like to talk to both of you at the end of the day.”

Carter nodded and silently excused himself to the lounge, unaware that Dale’s confession had also been overheard by Elizabeth and a slowly stirring Dr. Romano.

His coat was folded neatly at the bottom of the box and…his wallet would just stay on him, as would his phone. Even if his supervisors didn’t approve, Dale didn’t care. He knew how people could simply walk in and take what they wanted without a care and while he could survive without a coat, he could not and would not survive without his wallet and phone. His wallet also contained the key to his now-locked room at the shelter and if he lost that, he’d be screwed and have to pay $50 for a replacement.

Knowing how lax security was at County and that patients wandered whether they were supposed to or not, Dale preferred just to carry his valuables for however long he was there for. That had been how Lucy and Carter had been stabbed, after all. Paul Sobriki had just wandered right into the lounge and…chaotic patients had also caused the shooting on Halloween…

Exhaling softly, Dale silently plucked his white coat off the side of the box and put it on and then draped his stethoscope around his neck. As he got ready to leave and get to work, the door opened…but it sounded like a gunshot to him and he immediately ducked, placing his hands over his head while fighting the urge to vomit.

“God, I should have been there,” Dale muttered anxiously, tears filling his eyes. “Then Malucci wouldn’t have been…”

Unknown to him, Carter was standing near the door, wide-eyed as he watched his friend’s PTSD response, “Dale?” Carter asked quietly, his expression concerned. “Are you okay?”

“I'm fine,” Dale replied quickly straightening up. “Just getting my stuff out of my box in the corner.”

Carter paused, deeply worried, but decided not to press it as Dale turned to face him, “Um, Doctor Anspaugh asked me to work with you today,” Carter explained quietly. “I hope that’s okay?”

“You’re the boss,” Dale replied quietly, figuring he deserved supervision after his little outburst at the desk.

Carter offered a kind look, “I thought we’d start by checking on Dave and Nathan,” he replied softly. “Dave’s waiting on a meal and a Psych consult and Nathan…he’s had a rough night…”

“A Psych consult?” Dale asked worriedly, frowning. “Why’d you call Psych on Malucci? Isn't he your brother?”

Carter frowned, “I caught Dave biting himself,” he replied grimly. “And I’m worried…”

“His father taught him to do that,” Dale replied grimly. “Um…we should get to work.”

Carter’s eyes widened in shock, but followed Dale from the staff lounge. Carter noticed that Dale kept his eyes on the floor while he made tracks to Exam One, and Carter also couldn’t help but notice that Kerry was now at the desk on the phone and was watching the two of them with a concerned expression.

“…I didn’t mean to do it,” Dave spoke in a quiet voice, giving Carter and Dale an apologetic look as they sat beside his bed and Carter cleaned the bite marks on Dave’s knuckles with an alcohol wipe. “My father…as I said…”

Carter nodded, “Have you ever done it in front of Deb?” he asked softly.

“She caught me once, but we talked about it,” Dave replied grimly, sighing weakly. “I never had the guts for cutting even though my father also told me to do that. Biting, though…it was simple. Nobody really knows how simple it was to bite myself and then just get on...”

A sigh filled the air, “Dave?” Jing-Mei’s sleepy voice suddenly filled the air. “It’s early…”

Dave frowned and he looked towards the cot to find Jing-Mei sitting up, looking at him worriedly, “I bit myself again,” he admitted grimly, sighing. “Stuff happened last night that just set it off and…the nightmares are still there…”

Jing-Mei quickly got up and came over to them, sighing when she took his knuckle from Carter and examined it, “I’m sorry,” she whispered softly, offering him a concerned look. “Whatever it is, do you wanna talk about it?”

“I don’t want to risk the baby,” Dave replied grimly, shaking his head. “Carter left a message for Myers.”

Carter and Dale moved away, giving Jing-Mei a chance to move closer to Dave and gently embrace him.

“I’m going to do more counseling now that I’m getting better,” Dave promised weakly, offering her a pained look. “I don’t want to drag all the crap with my dad into the life we’re gonna have with Daniel and the baby…wherever we end up.”

“I’d like you to stay living with my family and I even after the baby’s born,” Carter suddenly spoke up in a kind voice, tenderness in his eyes as he looked at Dave and Jing-Mei. “Even if you get more feeling in your feet. Even if rehab works to help you walk again. I would like you and your family to stay. We’re family, for God sakes. We’re family. Now that I’ve found you, I don’t want to lose out on getting to know you and be there for you. Nobody knows how excited I really was when I found out I had another brother on this earth, but...I'm glad we're brothers and that we can get to know each other as brothers."

Dave froze, taken aback by Carter’s speech. Before he could reply, however, the sleeping Nathan suddenly burst into a coughing fit that was so severe that he tried to sit up, but couldn’t because he only had the use of one arm. Luka woke in a hurry and helped Nathan sit up, but Nathan gagged before closing his mouth, swallowing, and just sitting still for what seemed like an eternity. Luka gently rubbed his back, but didn’t say anything and Dale quickly made his way over to Nathan, offering the teen a smile as he approached.

Carter watched with interest as Dale suddenly paused and scooped Rocket off the floor, “I think he belongs to you,” Dale spoke gently, offering Nathan the bear along with a smile. “He must have tried to take a walk while you were sleeping.”

Nathan smirked, “Maybe,” he replied softly. “Thanks for finding him, Doctor Edson.”

Dale gently placed the bear on Nathan’s chest near his good arm, “You’re welcome, Nathan,” he replied softly.

“Um, Doctor Edson, do you think you’re gonna host the family day at your building again sometime after Thanksgiving?” Nathan asked quietly. “I wouldn’t mind dropping in and hanging out like I did before with my mom…”

Luka immediately looked confused, and Carter looked intrigued while Dave simply looked tired, but like he knew something they didn’t, “Doctor Edson does a day program for families sometimes at a place downtown,” Nathan spoke quietly, gazing at Luka. “My mom took me cause it was free...and I was suspended from school. She took the day off of clinic and just spent time with me there while everyone else was in school…”

“It has been a while since I hosted one,” Dale commented softly, smiling. “I’ll have to talk to the people in charge. Maybe after Thanksgiving. For now, though, I thought I saw you have a problem. You wanna tell me about that?”

Nathan was silent for a moment before sighing, “I thought I was in that house again…getting choked,” he spoke quietly. “I just started coughing for air and couldn’t get up. Sorry.”

Carter stilled, as did Dave and Jing-Mei, but Dale merely nodded and silently got Nathan some water from the cup and pitcher on his portable table, “Do you think some water might help?” Dale asked softly.

Nathan eyed the water and then eyed Dale, “Yes,” he spoke quietly. “Can…can you please help me, Doctor Edson? My hands…and everything else…they’re just…shaky today.”

Luka moved back and Dale nodded as he helped Nathan drink. When the cup was empty, Dale put it back on the table, “Thank you,” Nathan replied softly. “I’m less shaky now, but still really tired…”

“Maybe you need some food and your meds,” Dale spoke quietly. “I’ll get Doctor Carter to…”

Nathan tilted his head as if he wanted ask a question and Dale sighed, understanding what the kid was wanting, “I’m under very strict supervision here,” he explained quietly. “Every order I make has to be approved by someone higher up, even if it’s a food order. I’m sort of an intern down here.”

“What does sort of an intern mean?” Nathan asked quietly, frowning.

Dale sighed, ignoring the fact that Carter, Dave, and Jing-Mei were all giving him an odd look, as was Luka, “Um, it means that I work down here until January and everyone is my boss while I’m here,” Dale replied simply, fetching the chart from Nathan’s tray. “Doctor Carter, if you wouldn’t mind authorizing Nathan’s meds, I can just go up to the cafeteria myself and get Nathan’s food…and something for Doctor Kovac as well.”

Carter, however, gave Dale a look, “Can we have a conversation outside?” he asked firmly, suddenly a little concerned. “Now, please?”

Dale silently followed Carter from the room, his heart sinking with every step he took towards the door.

“You feeling okay?” Carter asked worriedly once they were out of the room. “Why do you suddenly wanna take off to the cafeteria?”

Dale sighed and promptly pulled his blood sugar monitor out of the pocket of his white coat, “Check it if you’re so worried,” he snipped, offering it to Carter along with a scowl. “I’m fine. I just need some space.”

Carter gave Dale a suspicious look, “You wanna tell me what’s up or do I need to send you straight upstairs to Anspaugh and you can tell him?” he asked in a quiet, but stern voice.

Dale exhaled irritably, “I’m thinking of telling Will I can’t see him anymore because I’m not good enough for him,” he revealed grimly, frowning. “I just need some space to think about it. I’m way out of his league. And he deserves…”

“He chose you,” Carter replied softly, offering Dale a compassionate look. “And you chose him. It’s not about deserving. Are you feeling…guilty? You have guilt written all over your face...”

For a moment, Dale looked like he wanted to sock Carter for prying into his feelings, but then he nodded, his expression melting into one of guilt and shame, “Do you think Harper…do you think she would be okay with me being happy with someone else?”

Carter stilled, taken aback by the mention of Harper, but before he could think of something to say, Kerry wandered over to them, “How are you two doing?” she asked curiously, giving them both a worried look. “We’re slow now, so why don’t you take a break? Get something to eat?”

“I had breakfast, but thank you for thinking of me,” Dale replied quietly, quickly putting his guard up. “I was just on my way to get Nathan Kovac and his father…as well as Doctor Malucci…some breakfast…”

Kerry gave him a motherly once-over, “Get a snack,” she spoke firmly. “Carter…”

“I’m waiting on Psych for Dave and I promised I’d stay close,” Carter lied anxiously, worried that Dave would not talk about the biting if he wasn’t there to encourage and support Dave.

Nodding, Kerry slipped her arm into Dale’s, “I actually forgot to eat this morning because I was so busy getting Henry ready and off to Sandy’s parents,” she spoke quietly. “Mind if I treat you?”

Swallowing hard, Dale shrugged and sighed as Kerry led him off to the desk so she could get her coat, “There’s a nice breakfast sandwich at the Jumbo Mart coffee shop I’ve been wanting to try, but I need to get my coat,” she spoke calmly, releasing him while she went around the desk. “Do you have your monitor on you or do you need to borrow one?”

Dale silently produced his monitor and Kerry nodded before suddenly turning her attention to a small pile of papers and pushing it over to him, “Doctor Anspaugh faxed these down a little bit ago,” she explained softly. “It states that you’ll be lending your medical talents to the ER indefinitely.”

“Until the meeting in January?” Dale asked quietly, eyeing the papers with disinterest. “I already signed these…”

Kerry shook her head, “Indefinitely,” she replied quietly. “Nobody knows how long yet. That's to be discussed.”

Dale paused, choosing to skim the papers in silence, “What…my outburst at the desk led to a sudden stay of execution?” he finally asked in a confused tone. “What did Doctor Greene have to say…?”

“Doctor Anspaugh’s on the phone with Mark now, but he asked that those be given to you and you sign them so the ER will look after you,” Kerry replied gently. “Unless you were thinking of leaving?”

Dale silently stared at the papers in silence before he noticed the pen next to them. He didn’t want to hear the end of Kerry’s sentence, as she sounded much too gentle and he knew she was either worried or pissed about his outburst. He knew his outburst had made waves and would probably continue to make waves for weeks to come, as County was little more than a giant gossip mill. Everyone would likely have something to say about what he had shared and about his choice to continue working in the ER and the gossip...it would probably take an emotional toll on him.

However…the thought of being looked after by the family that was the emergency room staff and possibly humanized to the point where he could escape his lingering depression and heal a bit of his PTSD…it sounded very appealing.

Exhaling, Dale picked up the pen and signed the document, figuring that it was either that or…forever being stuck in pain and struggle.

Nodding her approval, Kerry took the papers and slipped them into Mark’s box before grabbing her coat. She then came around the desk and took his arm, “I was serious about a snack, by the way,” she spoke sternly. "Let's go."

“Yes ma’am,” Dale replied quietly, addressing her as he used to address his mother when she had been alive and able to visit with him at Garden Vista.

Kerry smirked, “Does Doctor Romano know?” Dale asked timidly as she led him to the door. "About my...?"

“He will when he’s back to work,” Kerry replied simply. “Right now, he’s not conscious and Doctor Corday’s sitting with him. The police are due to come later to talk to him. Speaking of the police, did you talk to them? I heard about…”

Dale sighed grimly, “They chose not to believe me after talking to Tony Malucci,” he replied grimly. “I’d, um, rather not talk about it…”

Nodding, Kerry continued walking towards the door, “Do you need your coat?” she asked worriedly.

Dale shook his head, “It’s just across the street,” he replied patiently. “We won’t be out long.”

As they approached the door, however, Dale suddenly froze in his tracks, forcing Kerry to also stop.

On the other side of the ER door, near the rows of chairs, were none other than Maggie Doyle and Kim Legaspi, both of them wearing casual clothes and looking around at the waiting area with expressions of pure awe on their faces.

Dale recognized them both immediately even though they were all older, as he had seen them plenty of times around the hospital, Kim especially. He had never told anyone, but he had quietly visited Kim for counseling sessions at odd hours after Lucy had been killed, as he had cared for Lucy like he had cared for Harper. That is something, however, that he would never admit to anyone. Kim had been encouraging of his long-distance friendship with Harper and had helped him work through his grief over Lucy so he had the energy to invest more into his relationship with Harper and turn it more romantic. Harper had likewise been encouraging of him seeking therapy to deal with his grief and anxieties and they had originally begun the romantic part of their relationship slow, but it hadn’t stayed slow…

Then…9/11 had taken all of that away. It had taken Harper, and it had left him a shell.

And perhaps he still was. Even though he had found happiness in spending time with Will Dremmer, the man was above him socially and professionally…and he was from Seattle. A place he would probably return to after the holidays. Dale didn’t know if he had the strength to be in another long-distance relationship and bear all of the emotions that came with such a thing.

Suddenly, Dale saw a tired, slightly somber looking Dr. Dremmer stream past him and Kerry and into the waiting area towards Kim and Maggie. Kim and Maggie immediately embraced Dr. Dremmer as if they were siblings reuniting after a long period of being apart.

It was at that moment that Dale felt Kerry release his arm and he saw her wander into the waiting area, not knowing she had recognized Kim Legaspi and was surprised to see her to the point where she wanted to say hello.

Feeling very much like an outsider, Dale silently slipped back into the ER just in time to see the curtain around Dr. Romano’s bed be opened. He watched as a now awake, but very groggy Dr. Romano talked with a concerned looking Elizabeth. Neither of them noticed him.

Deciding to make himself useful by getting Luka, Nathan, Dave, and Jing-Mei breakfast from the cafeteria, Dale silently moved off towards the elevator in silence.

Meanwhile, back in the waiting area, Kerry nervously approached Kim, Maggie, and Dr. Dremmer as they broke apart. She cleared her throat and Kim’s eyes were on her immediately. Kerry stilled.

Kim offered a smile to Kerry, “Kerry,” Kim spoke in a quiet, but pleased tone. “Hello.”

“Hi,” Kerry replied softly, suddenly realizing how much she had missed Kim over the years even after Sandy had come into her life. “How are you?”

Quickly realizing that Kerry and Kim knew each other and wanted a moment alone, Dr. Dremmer silently wandered back into the ER and Maggie followed, both of them looking for Dale. They had seen Dale before reuniting, but now the man was nowhere in sight.

Anxious crying suddenly filled the air and a door nearby banged open, “Nathan!” Dave’s anxious voice rang out. “John, stop him before he hurts himself, but be gentle!”

Every eye in the immediate area turned their attention to Exam One just in time to see a terrified, sobbing Nathan trying to shakily leave Exam One, but having a hard time moving because his steps were shaky, “I gotta help my brother!” Nathan whimpered anxiously. “He got into trouble!”

Terrified that Nathan was going to hurt himself, Carter came up on him from behind and looped his arm through the teen’s with the intent of guiding him back to bed, but Nathan suddenly lost his balance while trying to move and began falling towards the floor.

Fortunately, Carter caught him and simply eased him to the floor before gently holding him in his lap. Nathan tried to escape Carter’s hold, but when it was clear that he couldn’t manage it with one arm, he simply laid there in Carter’s lap and sobbed.

“Why did he attack Grandpa Rocket?!” Nathan sobbed, his breathing unsteady while he did so. “God…”

Carter looked helpless as far as providing an answer for that went, as he wasn’t sure either.

As Carter sat there, holding Nathan in his lap, footsteps skittered across the floor and Luka appeared, his expression horrified and confused, “Why didn’t someone tell me about Lucas and Grandpa Rocket?!” Nathan sobbed upon spotting Luka. “Haleh asked me how I was feeling about that and then she went to get me something to cheer me up! What…what the hell happened?!”

Scared for Nathan’s health, Luka promptly got on the floor next to them, “I will tell you everything you want to know, but can you go back to bed?” he asked anxiously, cursing himself for going to use the restroom without leaving a babysitter with Nathan. “Why…why are you even on the floor?”

Not wanting to admit that he lost his balance and fell, Nathan simply remained silent, allowing tears to stream down his face as he struggled to slow his breathing. He also didn’t like Luka’s worried gaze on him, as it felt too intense, so he simply closed his eyes to block him and the rest of the world out while he had a moment with his intense anxiety and sorrow.

Chapter Text

Carter immediately looked at Luka, who was shocked by Nathan’s breakdown.

“He lost his balance,” Carter whispered to Luka, offering Luka a worried look as Kerry, Kim, Dr. Dremmer, and Maggie moved over to them to help. “Nathan…”

Dr. Dremmer quickly found a wheelchair while Kerry crouched down and offered her hands, “Nathan, sweetie, can you open your eyes and look at me?” she asked softly. “Please?”

Nathan, however, didn’t respond, “He’s got damage to his left ear,” Carter explained anxiously. “You need to speak louder. We’re …”

Dr. Dremmer suddenly set the brake on the chair next to where Nathan was sitting and sat down while Kerry gave John a worried look, “Hey, Nathan, do you wanna see something cool?” he asked in a slightly elevated voice.

Nathan suddenly opened his eyes, his teary gaze on Dr. Dremmer, “You’re the guy who walked with me in the ER,” he spoke in a slightly breathless tone. “The guy with the cool leg.”

Dr. Dremmer nodded, his expression gentle, “I don’t think you ever got to see it properly, as it was quite early when we first met,” he spoke calmly. “Did you wanna see it now? Would it help you feel better?”

Nathan’s eyes narrowed, “You’re not scared of me?” he asked in a shaky voice. “I…I’m scary. My brain…it makes me get really upset sometimes because it’s injured. I’m a…monster.”

“People with funny brains aren’t monsters,” Dr. Dremmer replied gently, shaking his head. “My brain sometimes does funny things too. I, um, was in a pretty bad accident when I was a lot younger and I not only lost my leg, my brain got hurt too…”

Maggie looked intrigued, as did Kim, but Luka, Kerry, and Carter all looked shocked, “The good thing about brain injuries, though, is that there are things people who have them can do to help themselves recover,” Dr. Dremmer explained gently. “It takes work, but recovery…”

“What did you do to recover?” Nathan asked in a quiet voice, intrigued. “You said it takes work.”

Dr. Dremmer sighed, “Well, I had to do some therapies and change the type of doctor I wanted to be because what I was originally doing wasn’t going to work for my body and brain anymore,” he explained softly. “Anyway, I’d be more than happy to tell you more if you felt like getting off the floor and going back to your bed…”

“My brother hurt our grandpa,” Nathan replied in a solemn tone. “How do I fix that?”

Dr. Dremmer offered a solemn, but gentle look, “You can’t,” he explained gently. “That’s beyond your control. Just like what happened to me was beyond my control. What you can do, though, is just focus on taking care of yourself and focus on recovering as much as you can.”

“Is it going to make me normal?” Nathan asked shakily, frowning. “I just want to be normal.”

Luka’s heart broke at that, as he now understood that Nathan feared being unloved because he was a little unusual and Luka vowed to help Nathan understand that he would never be unloved no matter how much he or any of his siblings struggled.

Dr. Dremmer, meanwhile, offered a kind look at that, but shook his head, “No, but you’re good enough as you are,” he replied gently. “And you’ll always be good enough to the people who truly care about you. The rest don’t matter.”

Nathan sighed, “Can I use that chair or do you need it?” he asked quietly, significantly calmer.

Dr. Dremmer swiftly got up, “Um, can I get some help with…?” he asked nervously.

Luka and Maggie quickly got Nathan up and into the chair, “Holy crap, I’m tired,” Nathan breathed in a pained tone, closing his eyes. “Everything hurts now.”

“Well, I can take a better look at you once you’re back in your bed,” Carter replied gently. “Okay?”

Exhaling softly, Nathan shrugged and Carter took that as permission to move him, so he did that. Luka, meanwhile, looked pained as he pulled a phone out of his pocket and saw a text from Amy stating that she was feeling nauseous that morning and wouldn’t be able to come to the hospital til later that day. Deeply concerned, Luka moved off down the hall to call his wife, trusting that Nathan would be okay for a few minutes, and trusting that everyone else in the area could and would find things to do other than focus on him and his struggling family. Dr. Dremmer and Maggie, meanwhile, went off to the desk to find out where Dale had gone while Kerry and Kim continued to talk.

The sound of the phone ringing filled the kitchen as Amy sat at the counter, waiting for the cup of tea in front of her to steep so she could drink it. Mark had made the tea for her, saying it would help with chemo nausea, and he had then made breakfast for Erinn, Katie, and Joe. She now sat in the kitchen alone with the tea while he, Rachel, and Ella were in the den with Erinn, Katie, and Joe and their simple breakfasts. Amy could hear the sounds of a movie, but she didn’t care how loud it was.

All she cared about was that she was there to hear it and that her children were happy.

The phone rang again, and Amy quickly got up to get it, “Hello?” she spoke in a quiet tone, grabbing the cordless and turning it on before moving back to her stool. “Yes, this is Amy Kovac.”

A gentle voice immediately responded, identifying themselves as Dr. Roger Julian, Head of Genetics at County General before explaining that they called to talk to her about the DNA tests that Nathan and Doug had taken, as Genetics had to talk to her first due to the fact that Nathan was a minor. A beep filled the phone, indicating that another call was trying to get through, but Amy ignored it.

“Yes, Doctor Julian, I understand,” Amy spoke in a quiet, slightly nervous voice, not noticing that Mark had come into the kitchen carrying a pile of breakfast dishes and had stopped in his tracks at the mention of Dr. Julian. “Can you tell me what the results are, please?”

As Dr. Julian spoke, Amy’s heart stopped and she quickly proceeded to check her pulse in her neck before sighing heavily, “I can come down there right away and collect the paper from your office,” she spoke in a quiet tone. “And then I’ll talk to Nathan myself. And to Doug. Thank you.”

Mark’s eyes widened as Amy set the cordless on the counter while sporting a heavy, subdued expression on her face, “Doug…he’s Nathan’s father,” he realized in a shocked tone. “Isn’t he?”

Biting her lip, Amy nodded and promptly rose from the chair without touching the tea, “I need to get some presentable clothes on,” she spoke in a numb tone. “I need to talk with Nathan about this myself. It’s going to change things…for all of us.”

Before Mark could reply, Amy was gone from the kitchen and Mark quickly made his way to the den where Rachel and Ella were still watching a movie with Erinn, Katie, and Joe, “Hey, Rachel, Ella, we gotta get ready to go to the hospital,” Mark spoke anxiously. “Nathan’s mom has to go talk to him.”

“Is Nathan in trouble?” Katie asked worriedly, suddenly looking scared.

Rachel frowned, “I have holiday volunteering at Sunshine House today,” she replied in a quiet voice, giving her father a look. “I’m gonna go read to little kids and help with lunch. It’s written on the calendar. You said it was okay...”

Mark nodded, an expression of recognition filling his face, “We can drop you off on the way,” he replied calmly. “Did you need me to come back and help you after I drop…?”

Footsteps filled the air, “Erinn, Katie, go get dressed,” Amy called out in a concerned tone. “We need to go see Nathan. Joe, can you crawl to Mommy, please?”

Mark turned to see Amy already at the door wearing socks, a pair of oversized blue scrubs, and a cardigan with her hair done up in a bun up on top of her head, “It’s the only thing that’s comfortable right now,” she explained tiredly, gazing at him as she approached the TV. “Girls, Joe, come on.”

Erinn quickly turned off the movie and got up and Katie did the same, but Joe simply stayed where he was and yawned, “Are we having a bad day today, Joe?” Amy asked gently, approaching him with care and sitting with him.

Joe cooed, smiling at her, “Would you like to go see Nathan and your dad?” Amy asked gently, realizing that Joe had just wanted personal attention.

Giggles escaped Joe’s mouth and Amy sat with him for a few minutes, gently tickling him because she couldn’t lift him at the moment due to her treacherous deliveries and hysterectomy, “Um, can someone pick Joe up for me, please?” she finally asked softly. “I can’t.”

Mark obliged and Amy silently pulled herself into the nearby beanbag chair, deciding to take a rest for a moment. Mark gave Rachel and Ella a look to stay with Amy while he went and dressed Joe and they nodded while Amy lay in the beanbag chair, resting a hand over her bandages as she closed her eyes.

The mansion was quiet when Abby arrived home. She quickly found a note on the foyer table from Jack that he was in his office talking to Chase's nursing home on the phone if anyone needed anything from him, as Chase had been wanting a visitor and had been becoming curious about why Dave or Jeanie hadn’t been coming by lately to the point where the nursing home staff had been asking someone to address that. Before Abby could process that, a cry filled the air.

Quickly recognizing Maggie’s cry, Abby bolted upstairs while stuffing the note in her pocket and reached the nursery just in time to see a crying Maggie stand in her crib sporting her pink sleeper. Smiling at her daughter, Abby wandered over to her and gently kissed her on the head while scooping her into her arms. Maggie immediately stopped crying, cooed, and smiled.

“Good morning, my lovely girl,” Abby spoke gently, peppering Maggie’s face with kisses.

Maggie cooed and Abby held her close as she left the room with her, “Are you hungry?” Abby asked in a kind voice, smiling.

As Abby moved back down the hall to take Maggie downstairs, she suddenly heard Daniel’s soft voice come out of his bedroom. Deeply curious who Daniel was talking to, Abby carried Maggie over to Daniel’s door and froze when she saw Daniel sitting on the window seat, wrapped in his blanket, and looking outside while hugging himself. There was no one else in the room and no sign that Daniel was using the phone. Yet…he seemed to be talking to someone.

“Daniel?” Abby called out gently, being careful to approach gently. “What are you doing awake so early?”

Daniel didn’t turn immediately, “Just talking to my mom,” he replied softly. “And to Uncle Bobby…and to some guy named Eric. He just came to visit my mom and Uncle Bobby today.”

Abby froze at the mention of Eric, but she didn’t want to upset Maggie or Daniel, so she instead joined Daniel on the window seat. Daniel immediately looked at her and Abby smiled at him, but she also became concerned at how unusually tired he looked.

“Daniel, are you okay?” Abby asked in a concerned tone. “Did you want to go back to bed for a while? You don’t have school right now because of Thanksgiving break, so…”

Daniel shook his head, “I was telling Mommy about Daddy and how tired I am,” he spoke softly. “But Mommy said Daddy needs me right now cause he’ll need support learning to walk again and getting to know his new family…”

Fear filled Abby’s eyes, as Carter had told her how Daniel had mentioned his tiredness to him, but now he was doing it again. Instead of saying anything, however, Abby simply nodded silently and looked gentle, “Would you, um, like to go see what’s available for breakfast?”  she finally asked softly. “Maybe we can make some chocolate chip pancakes or something cool like that…”

Daniel was quiet for a moment before he nodded and got up, still wrapped in the blanket, “It’s cold today,” he spoke quietly. “Can I keep the blanket on?”

Abby nodded and stood up, quickly shifting Maggie to her shoulder while she left Daniel’s room alongside him. They travelled downstairs via the elevator and made their way into the kitchen, but to their surprise, Eleanor was there, and she was putting cookies into a Tupperware container while sporting nice clothes and a winter coat. Daniel eyed Eleanor nervously and promptly clung to Abby’s coat, visibly uncomfortable. Eleanor, however, didn’t notice him, Abby, or Maggie as she finished filling the container and left through the back door of the kitchen.

Daniel immediately gave Abby a nervous look, but Abby sighed calmly and put Maggie in the safety of the highchair before she settled Daniel at the table. Daniel immediately grabbed Abby in a hug and Abby could tell he was trembling with fear, probably from Eleanor, so she just held him.

After several minutes, Daniel relaxed and went to sleep in his arms at the table. Abby quickly got to work putting some frozen chocolate chip waffles from the freezer in the toaster and then got Maggie some food. While keeping an eye on Daniel, Maggie, and the toaster, she got on the phone to her mother because she was concerned about what Daniel had said about Eric and wanted to see if her mother knew anything about whether or not Eric was okay.

“…I just want you to rest and not do any moving around for a while, okay?” Carter’s gentle voice echoed through the curtain that surrounded Nathan’s bed. “I know you don’t like pain meds, but I think it’ll help…”

A faint whimper filled the air, “No,” Nathan whimpered weakly. “I’ll just lie still. No meds. And…and I don’t like the curtain closed. Please…”

The curtain swiftly opened, and Nathan curled into as much of a ball as he could with Rocket in his good arm, burying his face in the teddy without saying anything. Luka silently sat beside the bed and gently started stroking his hair while whispering gently to him. Slowly, Nathan relaxed into a sleep.

Carter stared at Luka in wonder, but Luka said nothing and waited a few minutes before he sighed, “It’s how we handle things at home,” Luka finally spoke softly, gazing solemnly at Carter. “Before this, he still had nightmares about the stabbing. Can you get his counselor later?”

“Psych’s backed up more than normal due to the holidays,” Jing-Mei suddenly spoke up in a solemn tone from Dave’s bed where Dave was now asleep. “They called the room while you were out…asked if they could see Dave tomorrow. Told him to rest in the meantime if he got overwhelmed. I’m going to stay with Dave as much as I can, but I have an OB appointment later. Dave wants to come, but he’s still a little overtired, so I told him to stay down today and sleep as much as he can. I was about to see about getting him some tea…”

Frowning, Carter moved over to Dave’s bed while getting his stethoscope prepped, “Hey Dave, can I listen to your chest?” he asked in a concerned tone. “I just wanna make sure you’re okay.”

Dave sighed sleepily, but stirred while Jing-Mei moved back from the bed, “Yeah, go ahead,” he spoke with a tired sigh. “Do you need me to sit up?”

“No, just relax and breathe when I tell you to,” Carter replied gently. “Okay?”

Dave complied and Carter checked his breathing, “You seem better, just a little tired,” Carter spoke gently. “Maybe some breakfast and tea will help. How’s your feet?”

“Tingly,” Dave replied sleepily, his expression tired. “And not just the left. The right one’s tingly too.”

Jing-Mei looked stunned at that, as did Carter and Luka, “Um, I’m going to get Doctor Corday,” Carter explained in an anxious voice, suddenly wondering if a miracle was in the works for Dave.

As Carter left the room to find Dr. Corday, Jing-Mei frowned at Dave, “What is it?” she asked softly, giving him a concerned look. “Your eyes…have a sadness to them. What’s going on?”

“Dana…she misses our son,” Dave spoke in a quiet tone, his expression suddenly sobering. “I didn’t sleep well last night because I was asking her if I could keep him here. I need him.”

Jing-Mei froze as tears filled Dave’s eyes, “I need him,” Dave replied in a fainter tone.

Deeply concerned, Jing-Mei silently embraced Dave and held him while he wept silently. Luka, meanwhile, sat there in silence, feeling shocked and somber about what he had overheard.

And then, Luka bowed his head and quietly began to pray for Daniel Malucci’s life.

Dale fought the urge to curse as he finished the small cup of water he had managed to negotiate from the on-duty cafeteria workers, the whispers of colleagues from various floors serenading him while they made their way through their own breakfasts or snacks at various tables.

He had stocked up on breakfast food for Dave, Jing-Mei, Luka, and Nathan and had gotten to the cashier only to realize he had forgotten his wallet back at his room at the shelter.

And that’s when he had heard the snickers.

And the whispers about how the demoted Doctor Death couldn’t even afford cheap, crappy hospital food now that he had been kicked out of Surgery for almost killing ER hero Dr. Dave Malucci while the man had been under post-op care in the ICU.

Instead of retaliating, however, as that would get him a one-way ticket to Anspaugh’s office and sent to the unemployment office from there, Dale had left the tray at the till, asked for a cup of water, and had promised to come back after he retrieved his wallet from his home.

Not really believing the demoted doctor, as the rumors had labelled him untrustworthy among other things, the workers had put his tray behind the counter and told him to take the water to the corner where they could keep an eye on him. Dale had agreed, but he had also taken a packet of sugar and mixed it with the water so his sugar wouldn’t drop while he was venturing to and from Sunshine House in pursuit of his wallet.

Once the last drop of sugar water was gone, Dale crumpled the cup, dropped it in the trash, and silently left the cafeteria with the whispers and snickers still ringing in his ears. As he disappeared into an elevator that would take him to the lobby and the doors closed, Maggie Doyle and Dr. Dremmer came around the corner from another elevator. They saw Dale briefly, but didn’t have a chance to call out or catch him.

“Where do you think Doctor Edson went?” Maggie asked worriedly, frowning. “He…he looked sad.”

A snicker filled the air, “Probably gone off to cry about how he hasn’t had any money since he got kicked out of Surgery for almost killing Doctor Malucci,” an amused voice filled the air.

Dr. Dremmer and Maggie turned towards the counter and frowned at the worker who was lingering there, smirking, “What?” the cafeteria worker scoffed. “Doctor Malucci saved three kids during that shooting in the ER on Halloween and then that spacey freak, Doctor Edson, nearly killed the poor guy in the ICU…”

“You think it’s cool to make fun of Doctor Edson and his struggles?!” a sharp voice suddenly filled the air.

Dr. Dremmer and Maggie turned just in time to see Sam, who had been in the cafeteria with Alex having a meal before her shift, storm over behind the counter and pin the cafeteria to the wall by their shirt with one hand while looking absolutely murderous. The cafeteria worker looked immediately scared for their life, but Sam didn’t let them go.

“I’ll report you to Anspaugh, you nutcase!” the cafeteria worker cried as he struggled to get free. “Did you lose your mind when you and your brat were held in that basement with Nathan Kovac?!”

Sam scoffed, undeterred in her anger, “Screw you!” she snapped, showing her phone. “I’ll definitely be telling Anspaugh about what I overheard and recorded on my phone about Doctor Edson and Nathan! I hit record the moment Doctor Edson walked in here because I’ve been hearing gossip about him from all over the hospital ever since he got transferred to the ER! Nobody’s doing anything about it, so I thought I’d get some proof so I could get the bullying to stop! You mentioning Nathan Kovac…!”

Swearing anxiously, the cafeteria worker broke out of Sam’s grip and bolted out of the room while everyone else in the room fell silent. Scoffing, Sam turned and froze when she saw Dr. Dremmer and Maggie staring at her, both of them dumbfounded. Sam immediately recognized Dr. Dremmer, as she had seen him in the ER caring for Doug Ross and Dale and Dr. Dremmer offered a concerned look.

“Are you okay?” Dr. Dremmer asked in a concerned voice. “That…that was…wow.”

Sam scoffed, “As much as I can be,” she replied shakily. “I don’t like bullies.”

“What was he saying about a basement?” Maggie asked in a concerned voice. “And Nathan Kovac?”

Sam shook her head at that, “The kid’s been through enough,” she replied coldly. “I’m not gonna talk about Nathan’s business in public. I’m just gonna let Alex finish his breakfast, go to work, and then I’m going to see Doctor Anspaugh about what just happened…”

“Would witnesses help?” Maggie offered worriedly. “We saw everything, Will and I.”

Sam gave her a look, but Alex suddenly came over to her with a backpack slung over one shoulder, “Mom, I’m done,” he announced softly. “Can we go see Lucas in Peds now? I…I miss him.”

“We have to go ask his parents,” Sam replied softly, not wanting to get into Lucas’s situation because even she didn’t quite understand what she had heard about it. “Okay?”

Alex scoffed, “What am I gonna do while you’re working?” he asked quietly. “I’m bored.”

“Maybe make a thank you card for Doug Ross like I’ve been begging you to do since he helped you and Lucas?” Sam suggested firmly, giving Alex a look before she offered an apologetic look to Dr. Dremmer and Maggie. “I’m sorry…my son, Alex…I need to get him and myself to the ER. I’m going to be on time only if we hurry…”

Dr. Dremmer looked intrigued at the mention of Doug, but Sam hustled Alex out of the cafeteria before Dr. Dremmer could press for further details, “Shoot,” Dr. Dremmer breathed irritably. “Now what? I’m not working, Doug has his family, and…”

“How about I treat you to tea and donuts and we have a chat about how you’re doing?” Maggie suggested softly, giving her friend a concerned look. “You seem a little off today.”

Dr. Dremmer sighed tiredly, “I’d love a tea and a donut, honestly,” he admitted quietly, his mind suddenly filled with grief over the missing Dale and how much his fatherly chat with Nathan made him miss his deceased children. “And I'd love to talk.”

Nodding, Maggie silently gave Dr. Dremmer a side hug, “I’ll buy,” she replied in a gentle voice.

Sunshine House was known for helping struggling people whether it be by providing living space, counseling groups, or programs for individuals and families with various struggles.

Or at least that’s what Peter had gleaned during his most recent counseling session, a session that had included a recommendation that he find a day program on the weekends for himself and Reese to enjoy together so he wouldn’t grieve so much.

Sunshine House was known for family programs and Peter promised he would at least look into it even though he doubted anything would help take the sting of grief away during the holidays…

Nevertheless, Peter found himself in the family-friendly waiting area of Sunshine House with Reese, watching as Reese happily played with a wooden puzzle while Jackie encouraged him. Peter had been given the time before Thanksgiving and Thanksgiving off at Psych’s recommendation and he hated it, but he tolerated it only because the time off was paid. Peter had wanted to work doubles through Thanksgiving to avoid his grief, but his therapist hadn’t let him, saying that he needed time to properly grieve and could not use work as a way to avoid the healing process he needed to face.

So he reluctantly listened to his therapist and was now there, but he wasn’t. While Reese was enjoying the toys, Peter found himself lingering at the window, silently hugging himself and watching the snow fall while remembering back to the time when Cleo had been there, enjoying the holidays alongside him and Reese. They had been a family. And now…she was gone. Killed in a senseless act of violence performed by none other than the late Elton Douglas…

Despite the fact that Thanksgiving was almost upon them, Peter didn’t feel much like giving thanks for anything. It would be his first Thanksgiving since Cleo’s death, and he was having to endure forced time off until after the holiday was over. He didn’t know what to do with that…

And his therapist had already made it clear that, barring a crisis, Christmas would be the same deal. He’d get the 23^rd through the 26^th off unless he was absolutely needed.

“…Doctor Edson, this is an unusual time of day to see you,” a warm voice, a voice that seemed slightly familiar to Peter, suddenly filled the air. “Is everything all right at work?”

A nervous sigh filled the air, “Oh, hi there, Cynthia,” Edson’s meek, pained voice suddenly echoed through the air much to Peter’s shock. “I came here after doing my morning visit to Garden Vista, visited with my friend John, had breakfast to boost my sugar, and must have dropped my wallet on my bed without realizing it when I was checking my sugar…”

Peter stilled, but continued to listen, “…We have some leftovers from breakfast if you didn’t get enough to eat,” the voice suddenly spoke again, her tone warm and her expression tender as she looked at him. “And your friend, John, did he…?”

“Oh, no, John is fine,” Edson spoke nervously. “But…I might…I might take a few things. I sort of made a laughingstock of myself in the hospital cafeteria today because I got to the counter after getting breakfast for some patients and their families and saw that my wallet was gone and…well…”

A sigh filled the air, “I swear to God, someone should really hold an anti-bullying seminar at County,” the voice responded, this time in a concerned tone. “Why are you trembling, by the way? You also look as pale as a ghost. Did something happen?”

“They know,” Edson spoke in a pained voice. “The hospital. They know that I live here. And I’ve been reassigned to the ER indefinitely by the powers that be. No promise of pay from the ER yet or a set schedule, unfortunately…”

Footsteps filled the air, “Do you wanna talk to someone after I make sure you get some more food?” the kind voice spoke gently. “I know you’re scared of counselors…”

“I tried going to grief counseling at County, but it just felt…like I was on display,” Edson spoke in a solemn tone that unnerved Peter immensely. “I’m supposed to do sessions til January, but…it doesn’t work for me, so I…I was actually hoping someone was available here…”

Peter couldn’t help himself at that point. He silently moved towards the voices and positioned himself behind a partial wall near the edge of the waiting area. He was shocked to see Edson, who wasn’t even wearing his winter coat, chatting with none other than former County ER desk clerk, Cynthia Hooper, who was wearing a soft pink cardigan, a long shirt, dark sweats and flats. Cynthia was sporting a motherly look, and Edson just looked plain beaten down emotionally.

“You wanna talk to the wellness director while you snack?” Cynthia suggested in a kind voice, offering Edson a smile. “He’s gonna be supervising some teenager volunteers during lunch today, but he’s just doing paperwork in his office right now. I’m sure he wouldn’t mind if you dropped in for a chat.”

Edson hesitated for a moment before nodding, “It’s been a while since I saw Doctor Swift,” he replied in a quiet voice. “I didn’t talk to him after I got demoted. Probably should have. Um…I agreed to work today, but…will they miss me? Probably not.”

Cynthia responded by putting a motherly arm around Edson and giving him a side-hug, “Do you want me to walk you to get your snacks and to Doctor Swift’s office or…?” she offered kindly.

“I gotta get my wallet from my room first,” Edson spoke in a nervous voice. “But I can maybe meet you at the kitchen in a few?”

Cynthia smiled at him, “Okay,” she replied in a warm voice as she nodded. “The shower space is also free if you need an extra few minutes to decompress after what you went through this morning.”

Nodding his thanks, Edson wandered off and Peter moved back and tried to look like he hadn’t been eavesdropping. A few minutes later, Cynthia wandered into the waiting area and looked surprised to see Peter there. Peter immediately felt nervous, but swallowed hard and composed himself.

“I was hoping you could help me find a day program on the weekend for my son and I,” Peter explained as he faced Cynthia. “I’m a newly single parent and…I’m struggling to cope.”

“…We sometimes have a program on weekends for families who have children with special needs or who are in need of a safe place to spend time with their parents,” Cynthia explained in a kind voice as she led Peter, Jackie, and Reese into a giant, playroom style area that was full of chairs of various sizes, tables, cupboards, floors covered in mats, and bookshelves. “It’s volunteer-run, so we only have it as often as the volunteer who runs it is available…”

Peter looked around nervously, “What about on the other weekends or weekdays after school?” he asked nervously. “My son attends a school for children with special needs, but I’d like him to socialize more in the community. I’ve just struggled with being able to involve him in play groups. Reese survived a shooting on Halloween because a colleague of mine used himself as a human shield…”

Cynthia frowned, “Doctor Dave Malucci,” she replied in a shocked voice. “I saw the news about the shooting. I can’t believe Doctor Malucci did that. He’s a hero. Our wellness director was actually planning to pay him a visit…”

“Who’s the wellness director?” Peter asked curiously. “They seem very kind.”

Cynthia smiled, “Doctor William Swift,” she replied in a kind voice. “This place…he and some other doctors opened it after 9/11 because so many people were affected by it even if they didn’t lose people in it. A lot of people suffered a lot of things…”

Peter froze and was prevented from speaking because he felt a tug on his sleeve, “What’s up, Reese?” he asked while signing.

Reese suddenly gestured to a large plaque on the wall that was next to a bulletin board, “Daniel’s dad is on this,” he spoke and signed. “His name.”

Frowning, Peter moved over to the plaque and froze when he saw Dave’s name listed as one of the founders of the clinic alongside Dr. Romano, Amy, Jeanie, Dr. Swift, and several others, “It was a collaboration of funding that got the clinic funded,” Cynthia explained gently. “The city would only give them so much money, so people opened their pockets and fundraised…”

“So the Free Clinic of Hope wasn’t the only thing Malucci funded?” Peter asked quietly, taken aback.

Cynthia shook her head, “Doctor Malucci wanted to do more for the patients he saw at the clinic, so he got a group together and turned this place into a small, but very effective wellness shelter,” she explained in a quiet tone. “Um, speaking of Doctor Malucci, people here have been asking about sending him cards…”

Peter raised an eyebrow as he turned to look at her, “He’s a hero and everyone’s been talking about that,” Cynthia explained in a nervous voice, worried she had gone too far. “They wanna know how he’s doing…”

Swallowing hard, Peter suddenly felt guilty, as he had been too wrapped up in himself to really think about it lately and didn’t know what to say. He had simply passed off Dave’s care the first opportunity he had gotten to get away from it and that had been the wrong thing to do.

Dave deserved better, Peter knew, as the man had literally saved Reese’s life by risking his own.

Peter was so focused on his regret that he almost didn’t hear a familiar voice calling out to him.

“…I’m sorry that we couldn’t stop by the shelter first, but when I got that call…”

Mark sighed calmly and offered Amy a kind look as he, Rachel, Ella, Erinn, Katie, and Joe followed Amy through Chairs, “It’s all right,” he replied in a reassuring tone. “It’s important for you to see Nathan.”

Nodding, Amy waited for Mark to let her in using his ID, as she hadn’t gotten her new one yet, and then she rushed straight to Exam One. The first thing that Amy saw was that Dave was asleep in Jing-Mei’s arms and she nodded to them as she passed by them and went over to Nathan’s bed.

Luka was asleep at Nathan’s bedside and was using his arms to rest his head while Nathan was asleep in bed and cuddling against Rocket as much as he could. A covered tray sat on the portable table along with a note, but Amy ignored it as she quickly checked the machine Nathan was connected to before gently feeling Nathan’s face and forehead. As she was doing that, Nathan stirred and Luka let out a groggy snore.

“Hi sweetie,” Amy spoke in a soft tone, smiling at him. “I, um, heard you had a little trouble.”

Nathan sighed tiredly, “Yeah, I freaked out,” he admitted tiredly. “But it’s over. Um…what are you doing here? Luka got me back in bed and then he fell asleep. I was hurting, so I was asleep…”

Amy was quiet and Nathan eyed her nervously, “Oh, God, the DNA test,” he realized in a grim tone. “That’s why you’re here…isn’t it?”

“Yeah,” Amy replied in an equally soft voice. “Doctor Julian called me at home.”

Nathan frowned, “He’s my father, isn’t he?” he asked in a fear-filled voice. “That Doug Ross guy?”

Amy nodded, her expression solemn, “Yeah,” she replied softly. “He is. I was on my way to meet Doctor Julian to get the results paper when I got a call from Luka and he told me that you had gotten out of bed and were trying to go see Lucas, though, so let's talk about that first...all right?”

“It’s my fault Lucas is up there,” Nathan replied in a pained tone, frowning at her. “If I had just stayed quiet and let him keep hurting me when he got frustrated…”

Amy froze, horror filling her face, “What?” Luka’s voice suddenly filled the air.

Nathan paled at realizing what he had just said, “I…” he began shakily as tears filled his eyes.

“If you don’t want to talk to me or Luka about it, you don’t have to, but I want you to talk to someone about this,” Amy spoke anxiously. “Okay? I believe you. I do. Do you want me to call for a counselor?”

Tears filled Nathan’s eyes, “I never meant to say anything,” he eeked shakily. “I thought I could handle it.”

“It is not your job to handle that,” Amy replied firmly. “It’s mine and Luka’s. Okay?”

As Mark came into the room with Rachel, Ella, Erinn, Katie, and Joe, Nathan whimpered, “I’m sorry,” he replied in a soft, but anxious voice. “I…”

Exhaling anxiously, Amy silently hugged him and then turned to see Mark and everyone else and also noticed the covered tray, “Here, visit with everyone,” she spoke softly. “And eat your breakfast. Luka, come with me…”

“Mom, when are we going to talk about Doug?” Nathan asked shakily. “Soon? I don’t want to talk about Lucas to anyone…”

Amy sighed, “Sweetie, you just told me that Lucas was hurting you and that you were keeping it quiet,” she replied in a gentle, but slightly anxious voice. “That is abuse. It is absolutely not okay to keep quiet when someone is abusing you even if you love them very much…”

Mark’s eyes widened, as did Jing-Mei’s, and Rachel looked apologetic, but Dave remained asleep, “It was very brave of you to tell me, but now I have to be brave and get you some help to deal with it,” Amy explained in a parental tone. “I know you also wanna deal with the Doug thing. I do. And we will. I promise. We just have to deal with this first, okay? What I want you to do right now is visit with your…”

“Did the drugs Sarah and I gave Lucas make him hurt you?” Rachel suddenly asked in a pained tone, tears filling her eyes as she spoke. “Was it after Rogers Park?”

Nathan shook his head no, but didn’t say anything. All of a sudden, however, Carter arrived with Elizabeth and they froze at the crowd in the room.

“It’s so loud in here,” Nathan eeked, suddenly feeling anxious and hating that he was being put on the spot in front of people he didn’t really know well, namely Carter, Jing-Mei, Elizabeth, and Rachel. “I…I can’t…”

Carter frowned worriedly at Nathan, but Luka quickly got up and drew the curtain around the bed before coming out, “Why don’t we go to the cafeteria, hmm?” Luka suggested softly, giving Erinn and Katie a look. “I’ll let you get junk food.”

Katie nodded and moved over to Luka, and Erinn followed suit. Luka quickly collected Joe from Mark, “Is Nathan okay?” Rachel asked worriedly, staring at the curtain with an expression of concern.

“Let’s take you to the shelter,” Mark spoke in a hurried, but quiet tone, quickly recognizing the need to clear the room. “Okay? They won’t mind if you’re early, right?”

Shaking her head, Rachel followed her father and Ella from the room. Luka likewise removed Erinn, Katie, and Joe from the room as Jing-Mei gently poked Dave awake.

As Amy drew the curtain back, Dave stirred, “I…I’m sorry,” Nathan eeked softly, frowning at his mother. “Do we have to talk about it now?”

“No,” Amy replied softly, shaking her head as she sat down beside the bed and pulled the breakfast tray close. “Why don’t we get some breakfast in you instead? We’ll talk about it after.”

Nathan nodded and turned his attention to his food while Carter, Elizabeth, and Jing-Mei had their attention on Dave. Dave looked groggy, but present.

“Carter told me both of your feet are tingling now?” Elizabeth asked softly, giving Dave a concerned look.

Amy froze at that, but Dave merely nodded, “Yeah,” he replied in a groggy tone, nodding. “I don’t know why. I hope it’s not something bad…”

Before Dave could reply, Carter’s phone went off in his pocket and Carter checked it, “Why is Abby phoning me?” Carter commented in a confused voice, frowning at the caller ID.

Concern filled Dave’s face, “Go make sure it’s not about Daniel, John,” he replied in a worried voice. “I can handle this. I can speak for myself. Daniel can’t. Not really.”

Carter, however, looked torn. Dave was about to yell at him to leave when pain suddenly shot through both his feet, “What the hell?” Dave breathed, wincing. “My feet feel like they’re on fire…oh, God…”

Recognizing that Dave looked ready to throw up, Jing-Mei grabbed the bedpan off the portable and held it under his chin with one hand. Dave promptly gagged while trying to push himself forward with his arms. Quickly pocketing the phone, Carter quickly helped Dave adjust himself so he could throw up if he needed to. Fortunately, Dave didn’t end up puking, but simply ended up leaning against him and breathing heavily. Jing-Mei, meanwhile, moved to Dave’s feet to help Elizabeth because she knew she couldn’t bear Dave’s weight in her current condition.

“God, you’re sweating a lot,” Carter muttered worriedly, quickly noticing that Dave’s face, forehead, and hair were damp with sweat. “I hope your fever isn’t worse.”

Dave stiffened, “Just let it go, John,” he replied tersely, not wanting to get into his sleep issues. “Please?”

Carter frowned at Dave’s discomfort, as did Jing-Mei, “Okay,” he replied softly, not wanting to add to Dave’s distress. “What can I do?”

“Just be there for me,” Dave pled softly, giving Carter a pained look. “I…I’m scared. About a lot of things.”

As Elizabeth made her way over to the phone to order tests, Carter nodded, “Okay,” he promised softly.

“Is that…Doctor Romano?”

Kerry froze at the sight of a barely conscious Dr. Romano in the curtain area, looking pained and shaken, but very much aware of his surroundings, “Robert,” she spoke in a concerned tone, frowning at her bedridden, battered colleague.

Dr. Romano, meanwhile, eyed both Kerry and Kim with silent curiosity, unable to help but wonder if Kerry had invited Kim Legaspi for Christmas for ‘old times sake’ now that she was out as a lesbian and County didn’t seem to be bothered by it. Even though he personally hated homosexuality because of Sarah and Valerie’s relationship robbing Amy of her mother, he respected the hell out of Kerry for having the balls to stand up to him regarding her own right to live authentically, so he wouldn’t dog her for resuming a relationship with Legaspi if she, in fact, had.

“Doctor Weaver, Doctor Legaspi,” Dr. Romano greeted the two of them in a quiet, but cool tone, his expression pained because it hurt to be awake and it especially hurt to speak. “Where’s Lizzie? Is she back from Exam One yet? She mentioned that Doctor Carter needed her help with Dave…”

Kerry frowned, but Romano wasn’t done, “By the way, Kerry, what’s this I hear about Doctor Edson living in a shelter?” Romano pressed sternly, scowling at her. “That had better be a joke.”

Kim raised an eyebrow and Kerry froze, “I heard his little outburst at the desk,” Romano continued, clearly unamused. “I also saw my oldest grandson attempt to escape and have a meltdown in the process. Clearly, everything here has gone to hell while I’ve been incapacitated. Get me some scrubs…”

Kerry looked like she wanted to protest, but Romano glared at her as he sat up, “Don’t,” he hissed, wincing at being up. “Just get me some scrubs and let me go see Nathan. He can’t help that he had a meltdown…”

“Is he neurodivergent?” Kim asked softly, suddenly looking thoughtful. "Nathan?"

Romano glared daggers at Kim while Kerry moved off to find the man some scrubs, but Kim wasn’t intimidated by the glare, “What business is it of yours?” he asked coldly. “Are you even still licensed?”

“Doctor Romano, I know you dislike me because of my sexuality, but I do care about Nathan,” Kim replied in a professional tone. “I saw his meltdown, and it reminds me of meltdowns I see in neurodivergent kids I counsel at my practice in San Francisco …”

Romano stilled, his expression pained, “Amy’s mother was neurodivergent,” he replied in a somber tone. “Amy inherited that condition from her mother and I think at least Nathan and Lucas inherited that from her, but I wasn’t sure until I heard Nathan beat the crap out of Doctor John Carter in public for no reason except that he was being annoying. Thankfully for all of us, Doctor Carter did not press charges. And I know Lucas inherited it…because of what happened to me.”

Kim nodded, but didn’t say anything and Romano gave her a look, “And I don’t dislike you,” he spoke in a quieter tone. “I dislike all gay people in general because Amy’s mother turned out to be gay and ran off with a lover instead of being a mother to the child she gave me. She also tried to integrate that individual into our lives and confuse our daughter. It was hard enough for Amy growing up neurodivergent in an unkind world. I didn’t want to make life harder for her…”

Kerry, who had found scrubs for Romano, froze in her walk back because she had overheard that and was not expecting to hear that. Unfortunately for her, Romano quickly spotted her, grabbed the scrubs from her arms, and drew the curtains so he could dress. Kerry gaped at the curtain, stunned speechless, but Kim looked very understanding.

A few moments later, the curtain was pulled and Romano stood there, looking battered and groggy, but determined, “What I said better not get around the hospital,” he hissed darkly, glaring at the two of them.

Kerry frowned at him, “Are you well enough to be walking around, Robert?” she asked worriedly.

“Does it matter?” Romano snapped irritably. “My family needs me and I’m not talking to the police.”

Before Kerry or Kim could reply, Romano made his way towards Exam One.

Kerry and Kim followed and arrived just in time to see Elizabeth test Dave’s feet with an instrument, “…I can feel that,” Dave eeked shakily, his expression stunned. “Do you think I’m getting better?”

Tears of relief filled Jing-Mei’s eyes and Carter smiled while Romano looked stunned, “I want to do more tests and see,” Elizabeth replied in an encouraging tone. “All right?”

Pleased that Dave was finally getting some good news, Romano let out a quiet sigh of relief, but didn’t interrupt Dave’s time with Elizabeth, Carter, and Jing-Mei. He instead went over to Amy and Nathan. Nathan immediately looked at him and was about to comment on his injuries, but Romano shook his head and pointed to the tray of food.

“Breakfast first,” Romano ordered in a firm, but gentle voice. “And then we’ll talk. Clear?”

Nathan sighed, “Mom said that too,” he replied in an annoyed tone. “She said I need to take care of myself before we talk about Doug Ross. Doug’s my dad, she said. She said Doctor Julian called her and told her that…”

A stunned silence filled the room and Dave, Carter, Kerry, Kim, Elizabeth, and Jing-Mei all looked at Amy and Nathan, stunned by the revelation. Romano, meanwhile, sighed heavily, “It doesn’t have to mean anything if you don’t want it to, kiddo,” he spoke quietly, secretly madder than hell about it because he figured Doug would want to get to know Nathan and fight for visitation rights.

“I don’t know what I want,” Nathan replied softly, his expression pained. “Does he know? Doug?”

Amy shook her head no, “No,” she spoke firmly. “I plan to talk to him in private after I speak to Doctor Julian. And before you ask, you can’t be part of that conversation. You’ll get to talk to him eventually. I just want to make sure he understands that he can’t just come in and demand whatever he wants when it comes to you. Okay?”

“I’m…I’m not good at speaking up,” Nathan admitted softly, sighing. “Not without getting crazy. I mean…Doctor Carter knows that better than anyone. I…I beat him up cause I was scared of him and…”

Amy nodded as Carter looked at them worriedly, “Tell you what, I will go talk to Doctor Julian now if you let your grandpa help you eat,” she spoke gently. “And then I will go talk to Doug. Okay? I’ll make sure Doug knows the boundaries and then we’ll all have a conversation together. I promise.”

Nathan nodded and Amy hugged him before leaving the room, unaware that Carter was following her. When Amy, reached the elevator, however, she finally noticed Carter.

“John, what do you need?” Amy asked worriedly, frowning at him. “I’m in a bit of a hurry here.”

Carter frowned, “I wanna talk about Nathan and the fact that he’s still thinking about what he did to me,” he replied in a concerned tone. “I thought we settled that? That’s why we talked to Adele, I thought? And that’s why…”

“Nathan hyperfixates on struggles he has, especially when it comes to struggles he has with people,” Amy explained in a distressed voice. “We’ve been trying to help him stop doing that, but what happened to him on Halloween…it’s set him back a lot. Elton’s words. Whatever was said…”

Carter’s frown deepened, “He still doesn’t remember?” he asked worriedly.

“Not all of it,” Amy replied grimly, shaking her head. “And it’s best to not force the memories. They’ll come when they come. I think he’s dealing with enough right now anyway…”

The elevator door slid open and Carter froze, “So Doctor Ross is really his father?” he asked in a stunned voice.

“Yes,” Amy replied grimly, nodding as Carter’s phone went off again. “And I’m on my way to Genetics to get the paper copy of the results. Are you gonna answer your phone?”

Sighing irritably, Carter answered his phone with one hand while placing his other hand on the elevator door to stop Amy from going upstairs alone because she looked unwell and he was worried about her ending up sick and out of help’s reach, “Hello?” he spoke in a frenzied tone.

“John, I just talked to my mom on the phone,” Abby’s voice filled the air in a solemn tone. “Eric’s dead.”

Carter immediately froze, his eyes growing wide with shock as he stood there, processing the news. He was so shocked that he didn’t see Amy pry his hand off the door until the door closed on him.

Filled with anxiety, Carter swore and pressed the button to try and catch her. A moment later, another elevator opened and Neela came off, looking around briefly before she looked at Carter.

“Excuse me, I was wondering where I might be able to find Peds?” Neela asked Carter in a confused tone. “I’m looking to talk to a Doctor Bernstein...”

Carter paused, “Is…is this about Lucas Kovac?” he guessed anxiously.

Neela likewise paused, “Are you the hospital-appointed guardian?” she asked quietly. “I’m Doctor Neela Gallant come on behalf of my late husband, Doctor Michael Gallant. I called over to ask Doctor Bernstein if I could talk with Lucas because Lucas wanted to talk to Michael. Doctor Bernstein told me they were in the process of appointing a hospital-appointed guardian who could help provide support for Lucas since he was currently a danger to his family, so I’d have to wait…”

Carter found himself shocked speechless, unsure if Amy or Luka knew anything about the situation, “Yes,” he lied anxiously, figuring putting himself in that position would be better for Lucas and his family in the long run because at least they would be dealing with a friendly face that way. “We were told about Lucas needing one and I was just on my way upstairs to offer to be that for him…”

Neela looked relieved, “I’m glad,” she replied softly. “Were you on an important call?”

Exhaling nervously, Carter led Neela into the elevator and returned to his call, “John, what did you just do?” Abby’s shocked voice filled the phone. “What did I just hear?”

“I helped friends who were in need,” Carter replied in an anxious voice. “I’m sorry about Eric…”

Abby’s sigh filled the phone, “I need to call my mom back,” she replied in a pained, slightly out of it tone. “Go do what you need to do. You’ve got a good heart, John. Love you…”

“Love you too,” Carter spoke in a worried tone, concerned as to why Abby sounded so out of it. “Are you sure…?”

There was a click, and Carter bit his lip before looking at Neela, hoping he hadn’t made a mistake in acting before talking to Luka, Amy, or Dr. Romano. He also hoped he hadn’t made a mistake in leaving Abby to deal with her grief alone.

“Is this a homeless shelter?” Mark asked in a confused voice as he led Rachel and Ella into the foyer of Sunshine House and saw that it was a rugged looking foyer with aged furniture, decent security, and minimal staff.

Rachel shook her head, “It’s a shelter for people who are struggling to cope with their lives,” she replied gently. “They’re not necessarily homeless. I learned about this place back when I volunteered at Doctor Malucci’s clinic. It just took a while for me to get approval to help here.”

“Do you want Ella and I to stay and help with lunch too?” Mark asked in a concerned voice, suddenly a little worried about leaving Rachel alone there. “This isn’t the best area…”

Rachel sighed, “It’s really hard to get approved as a volunteer here,” she replied in an annoyed tone, giving her father a look. “I didn’t think they would take me, but…”

“Thanks for talking with me, Doctor Swift,” a familiar voice to Mark suddenly filled the air. “I guess I’ll just grab my wallet from my room and get back to work before they realize I’m missing. I’m still technically on probation down in the ER, so…”

A scoff filled the air, “County ER just gave themselves a gift by bringing you on and they don’t even know it,” Dr. Swift’s firm, but gentle tone spoke. “Go get your wallet, but don’t go back to work before you get something to eat from the kitchen. You look like you could use a pick-me-up. And then I’ll walk you back to work personally and make sure they’re treating you with the respect you deserve. All right?”

Mark’s entire being filled with guilt at hearing that Edson had a room there, as he knew if Edson had a room there, the man was technically without a home of his own elsewhere in Chicago.

And Mark had only added to the man’s pain by never giving him a space of his own during his time in the ER.

“…Doctor Greene?”

Mark paused at Doctor Swift’s aged, but very familiar voice, “Hi,” he replied nervously, taking the older man in. “Um…my daughter, Rachel, she’s supposed to volunteer here today. Help with lunch.”

Dr. Swift eyed him briefly before he nodded, “You look guilty about something, Doctor Greene,” he replied in a direct tone. “Something bothering you?”

Mark, however, simply stood there, not sure of what to say because he had never known how to communicate with Dr. Swift, but he suddenly felt too ashamed to say anything at all.

He had broken his doctor’s oath to do no harm and he now felt heavy regret for his behavior towards Edson, as it was quite obvious the man was drowning.

“Abby?” Jack’s voice filled the air from elsewhere in the house.

Only vaguely aware of Jack’s voice, Abby paused as she stared at the phone in her hand, debating whether or not to actually call her mother back and get details about Eric’s death or simply wait until her mother showed up, something Maggie had promised to do. Something that had annoyed Abby to no end because the last time Maggie Senior had shown up had been after Luka had secured full custody of Joe and she had been problematic, off her meds, and demanding attention that had nearly driven Abby insane. Abby had just barely managed to hang on, send Maggie Senior away, and get herself into an in-patient rehab before she got beyond help.

At the moment, Maggie Senior was currently inconsolable over Eric and far away. And she had no car. Abby had never helped her with that. Nor had she helped her with money even after marrying John.

Despite those limitations, Abby knew it wouldn’t be long before the woman showed up and brought her grief and information about Eric’s death with her. For the moment, however, she didn’t need to worry about it. She needed to worry about Daniel and the fact that Daniel was still tired despite eating a decent amount of breakfast.

Deciding to wait until later to deal with Maggie Senior and Eric’s death, Abby pocketed her phone and turned her attention to Daniel. To her surprise, he was asleep at the kitchen counter while sitting on the stool next to where Maggie was playing happily with Cheerios. His forehead didn’t feel warm when she checked it. He just seemed unusually tired.

“Hey, Daniel, did you wanna go back to bed for a while?” Abby asked softly. “I can bring Maggie with us, and I can read to you…”

Daniel yawned, “No,” he replied sleepily. “I wanna make things for my dad that we can take to the hospital on Thanksgiving.”

Before Abby could reply, Jack wandered into the kitchen wearing casual clothes, having finished his call with Chase's nursing home by promising to bring himself and John for a visit within the next few days, “Good morning,” he spoke in a cheerful tone.

“Are we gonna make things for Thanksgiving today?” Daniel asked curiously.

Jack promptly looked amused at the question, “I thought we were seeing your father for Thanksgiving?” he asked in a kind tone.

“I wanna take him a card,” Daniel replied in an insistent tone. “Can we make him a card?”

Jack chuckled, “Of course we can make your father a card,” he spoke in an amused voice, nodding. “We have supplies in the office. Let me just get something to eat and then we’ll do that, okay? Abby, would you like something? I thought I’d have toast and jam today. Something simple…”

Abby shook her head, “I’m not hungry,” she replied solemnly, thoughts of Eric’s death and Maggie’s pending visit robbing her of her appetite. “I got some news from my mother this morning that’s made me lose my appetite…”

Jack looked concerned, but he didn’t press her as he busied himself making toast. Abby, meanwhile, sat beside Daniel and was surprised when the little boy gently embraced her.

“It seems like everything’s changed here but the food,” Doug grumbled as he stared at the contents of the tray Dietary had dropped off at his bedside. “It’s still the same gross crap that I remember. Carol, can you get me something more edible from…?”

Carol gave Doug a look as he offered her a pleading look, “No,” she replied in a stern voice. “You’re still recovering, so you need to watch what you eat for a little while. Maybe on Thanksgiving, I’ll sneak you in some pumpkin pie without crust if you behave yourself…”

Doug smirked and turned to face her, wincing as he turned away from the tray, “How about a little sugar right now?” he suggested in an amused tone. “It’ll help me feel better about being here over Thanksgiving…”

As Carol leaned and kissed Doug, they failed to notice that an anxious Amy was approaching them holding the folder of results she had collected from Dr. Julian. Amy, on the other hand, noticed Doug and Carol kissing, so she simply lingered patiently by Doug’s bed waiting for them to finish.

After what seemed like an eternity, Carol noticed Amy, “Doug,” Carol spoke nervously, quickly pulling away.

Doug slowly looked up and froze when he saw Amy there with a folder in hand and an anxious expression on her face, “Amy,” he spoke in a quiet, almost reverent voice, his expression nervous. “Um, is that folder from Genetics? I, um, didn’t think they would have the results already…”

“Apparently, they rushed them because of the holidays,” Amy replied softly. “I just got them a little bit ago.”

Doug blinked, his expression purposely neutral as he nodded.

Amy silently collected a stool from a nearby empty area and sat beside Carol, “Do you want to read them yourself or do you just want me to tell you?” she asked in a quiet voice.

“You can tell me,” Doug replied in a quiet voice, suddenly feeling nervous.

Amy sighed as she opened the folder, “He’s your son, Doug,” she stated in a quiet, but clear voice, her expression solemn as she looked at him and Carol. “Nathan is your son.”