Chapter Text
When Ken accepts the part-time job as a summer lifeguard, he doesn’t know that the beach is an alien hotspot. Though, even if he had known, Ken’s not entirely sure whether that would have stopped him from taking the job.
He’s just that desperate, is the thing. After being unceremoniously fired from his paper route after missing work for a week—while he was in a coma and saving the world from an alien invasion, thank you very much—Ken has been finding it difficult to find another job. Having no skills hadn’t been a barrier before, but now that it’s combined with a history of skiving off work and school, he’s being laughed out the door of even the most menial jobs.
The lifeguard position isn’t ideal. The beach is dingy and has a reputation for being covered in trash, and Ken isn’t looking forward to being alert for life and death situations more than he already is. Ken doesn’t even need the job, not to cover necessities. But, ever since the Kur invasion, he’s been wanting to buy a phone. Post-invasion, it feels more important than ever to be able to communicate with Ayase—and the rest of his friends!—at any time.
Also…Ken would like to be able to text Ayase when they’re not together. He just thinks that would be nice.
So he applies for the lifeguard job anyway. Shortly after applying, Ken gets a message from Rokuro, who monitors the job board to an alarming degree. Ever since Ken started applying for jobs there, Rokuro started messaging him to compare notes on which jobs are preferable and to ensure that they aren’t applying for the same positions. Which shouldn’t even matter to Rokuro, given that his resume is somehow much more impressive than Ken’s, but whatever. Ken is willing to commiserate to anyone about the job market at the moment, even an alien who once tried to take his dick.
We will not be competing for the lifeguard position, Rokuro’s message says. The hourly wage is too low for me. I also do not wish to associate with the—and then there was a string of incomprehensible characters—there. But please inform me if we apply for competing positions.
That, perhaps, should have been a clue that there’s something amiss about this beach. But at the time, Ken doesn’t think much of it, too busy resenting the fact that a defective alien clone had higher employment standards than him.
So yeah, Ken accidentally gets a job at an alien-infested beach. But even that could have been bearable if the damn aliens there weren’t so determined to marry him.
///
“Miss Ayase!” Ken waves from his lifeguard stand.
He beams as Ayase waves back from the other side of the beach. His beach. Sure, it’s a bit small and dingy—though Ken has been diligently cleaning up the litter over the past several weeks—but he’s never had a place where he can take his friends before, so he can’t help but feel a certain amount of pride in it.
Ken has plans to invite their entire friend group to the beach, but today he only invited Ayase. He will invite their other friends! He will! It’s just, he feels very official in his uniform and with his life preserver, and he wants Ayase to see it without the chaos of their group to distract her. That’s all.
“Okarun!” Ayase calls, and runs up to the lifeguard stand.
Ken flushes as he realizes that she’s in a bathing suit. Obviously, she’s in a bathing suit. They’re at the beach; he shouldn’t be surprised. But he is, because it’d somehow never occurred to Ken that she owned a bathing suit. From the start of their friendship, Ken and Ayase have either been completely covered by their school uniforms or completely naked, with the latter being entirely off-limits to linger on. Ken had never imagined an in-between, a situation where Ayase is wearing something revealing that Ken is allowed to see.
Her swimsuit is a bikini top paired with practical swim shorts. It has a vibrant polka dot pattern. It’s really cute.
“Thanks for coming,” Ken says, feeling suddenly shy. He shakes his head and climbs down to the beach. “I—I know it’s not the best beach, but the water is actually pretty nice! And—and it’s not too popular, so it’s actually ideal if you’re looking to avoid a crowd!”
Ayase laughs. “Okarun, it’s not like you own the place; you don’t have to upsell it. It’s a beach and it’s free, right? That’s good enough for me.” She clears her throat. “So, uh, is that your uniform?”
“Huh? Yeah,” Ken says, looking down. It’s just a yellow shirt and red shorts. But, ah, it looks like his shorts had ridden up a little bit when he climbed down from the lifeguard stand. He flushes and quickly rolls the legs back down. He used to be a size small, but his legs have gotten a bit bigger from all the running. That’s embarrassing.
He looks up to find Ayase steadfastly looking at the ground. He looks in the direction of her gaze and finds a piece of trash.
“Oh! Thanks, Ayase,” Ken says, leaning down to pick it up.
“Mmhm!” Ayase says, voice strained. “Just…don’t want trash on the beach!”
“People should really litter less,” Ken agrees, to which Ayase nods furiously, making Ken wonder if he missed something.
It’s a colder day, so the beach isn’t so busy that Ken can’t take Ayase on a tour of the beach. He points out the old retired couples who come by regularly to tan; the rock where he’d seen some turtles laying eggs the other day; and the three candy bar wrappers they pass, an all-time low since Ken started cleaning the beach.
At some point, Ayase even holds his hand, citing the unsteady terrain of the sand. But she keeps looking at him too: at his eyes and his shorts and even his lips. Ken’s throat starts to feel dry, though he knows it’s not from all the talking or the salt in the air.
“You’re really proud of this place, huh?” Ayase says warmly.
“Well, sure…” Ken says, clearing his throat. “I mean, you’re proud of your work at the cafe, right?”
“What, in my maid skirt?” Ayase jokes, but then she gives a thoughtful hum as she considers the question. She shrugs. “Eh, I guess. But I wasn’t saying it to make fun, Okarun. It’s sweet, you know. That you care about it.”
Her eyes dart down to his lips again. She’s still holding his hand, and her hand squeezes his, and Ken thinks is this it? and what do I do? and god I love her so much—
And before he can act on these thoughts, a creature emerges from the water and shouts, “By royal decree, I come with a proposal of marriage for Ken Takakura of Kamigoe City!”
Ken and Ayase both scream and jump apart.
Ken gapes at the creature, who now stands primly in the shallows, shoulders back and posture proud upon delivering his message. He’s clearly a Mantisian, bearing more than a passing resemblance to Mr. Shrimp, but he seems like a more amphibious sub-species with fins, webbed hands, and gill slits that flap pathetically in the open air. The creature already looks to have some difficulty breathing on land; after his shouted decree, he has to dunk his head back beneath the water for several moments. Ken wonders if all alien species have difficulty adapting to varied environments, or if this is just the Mantisians’ lot in life.
Ayase, meanwhile, after nearly collapsing from hearing Ken’s legal name, shouts, “A proposal of what?”
The Mantisian lifts his head out of the water. “Pardon?”
“What the hell are you talking about?” Ayase fumes.
Ken looks around, worried that they’re making a scene at his workplace, but realizes that they’re in empty space. Ah. Small mercies, he supposes, but it doesn’t exactly put him at ease, even if this particular alien doesn’t seem to be on the attack.
The Mantisian bows lowly. “Ah, my apologies. While such a joyous occasion is due for pomp and circumstance, I understand that many humans prefer a more straightforward approach.”
“He hasn’t said anything straightforward yet,” Ken mutters to Ayase. He turns back to the alien. “Did you say that you had a…a proposal of marriage for me?”
“Yes!” the Mantisian says brightly. “I’m glad you’ve caught on so quickly. Pardon the suddenness of the proposal! We had intended to spend longer in the courting period, but, well…” He looks between Ken and Ayase. “When we saw that you were already being courted, we had to move up our timeline.”
“I’m not courting him!” Ayase protests, her face reddening as she turns away.
“Y-yeah,” Ken agrees, even as his heart sinks at her words. Maybe he’d just been imagining her staring at his lips…
The Mantisian, oblivious to the awkwardness between them, beams.
“Excellent!” he says. “Then the marriage proposal may continue. You see, our species wishes to establish stronger political ties to the human race before we initiate first contact. I, as the chosen ambassador between our species, have come here as a representative of Prince-“ he babbles an incomprehensible string of alien syllables “-to propose this alliance with the chosen human candidate, Ken Takakura.”
Ken’s head spins, and not just from being out in the sun for so long.
“I-I can’t represent humanity!” he protests. “And aliens have already made first contact with humans!”
“Well, we haven’t,” the ambassador huffs. He quickly dunks his head beneath the water again before continuing. “And of course you can represent humanity! You wear a uniform of authority, establish the rules of this land, and care for its environs. We have been watching you for the past several weeks and have been impressed as you governed with a firm but tender hand, protected the people of the beach, and picked up trash even when you could have gotten a servant to do so for you.” He bows again. “You are most suited to be a bride to our Prince.”
“You morons,” Ayase groans. “He’s just a lifeguard. Picking up trash isn’t even in the job description; he just does that.”
“Even more noble! To go outside the bounds of one’s position to make the world a better place!”
“And besides,” Ayase continues. “He can’t be a bride. He’s a guy!”
The Mantisian waves the matter away. “Human gender is irrelevant here. In our language, a bride refers to a betrothed who takes on the role as guardian and protector of the community. This describes the esteemed—ah, what is the royal title in your tongue? The Lifeguard Ken Takakura.”
“Really? Huh,” Ken muses, his hand itching for his notebook to write down this information about alien marriage rituals—and then he remembers himself and shakes his head. “No, wait, I still can’t be your bride! I-I’ve never even met this person! I don’t even know their name!”
“Is that really the only reason you have?” Ayase seethes, mad at him for some reason, even though Ken is the one trying to refuse an offer of marriage without disturbing alien-human relations!
“Not an issue,” the Mantisian reassures them. “As an ambassador, I am here to make introductions. Your betrothed’s name is known throughout our kingdom, and many would pay quite the handsome dowry to be in your position. You will be marrying the Prince-“ and then he says that complicated string of alien syllables again. “But I suppose in your language it would translate to Willy. And I am Ambassador-“ another string of gibberish “-but you may call me Pecker.”
Ken blinks. He blinks again. He takes a deep breath and puts a calming arm on Ayase as he feels her begin to shake beside him.
“We need. Just a moment to talk privately,” Ken manages, before turning both of them around so that they can clamp their hands over their mouths and try to muffle their reactions. Ken says reactions because he’s not sure if you could call the sounds bubbling up in his body laughter. It feels much more desperate than that.
“So it’s not just Peeny Weeny?” Momo gags, sounding as if she isn’t sure whether to cry, laugh, or throw up. “Willy? Pecker? All of their names translate to sound like…private parts?”
“Don’t laugh,” Ken says, not sure whether he’s trying to convince Ayase or himself. He cannot laugh in an ambassador’s face during first contact. In the worst-case scenario they would be souring interspecies relations to the point of getting themselves killed; and, in the second-worse case scenario, they’re pissing off Ken’s future alien in-laws.
“Can you just say no already?” Ayase hisses. “I want to go back to the beach.”
“How am I supposed to say no without offending him!” Ken pleads. “Obviously, I don’t want to marry this guy, but I don’t want to cause an intergalactic incident either! Miss Ayase, help me!”
“Ugh,” Ayase groans, and turns them around. She crosses her arms and stares down Ambassador Pecker. “Okay, no can do on the marriage front. Sorry, Ambassador Shrimp.”
“Ayase!” Ken hisses. “We’re trying to avoid a political scandal!”
“They need to take no for an answer!” Ayase insists. “Okarun doesn’t wanna marry your prince, okay? Isn’t that good enough for you, Ambassador Shrimp?”
“I’m afraid not,” Ambassador Pecker says, albeit contritely and more than a bit abashed at the awkwardness of the conversation. “Obviously, one always desires to marry for love rather than politics, but circumstances being what they are, this is the only way! There are no other suitable candidate in this kingdom. All others with the title Lifeguard at this beach have been deemed inadequate.”
“Really?” Ken says, unable to help but perk up. “Could you maybe tell my boss that?” Ayase elbows him in the side hard enough to gag, and he sputters, “B-but I’m afraid I still can’t marry your prince. I-it's not that it isn’t an honor! But, I still have school and stuff; I can’t get married.”
“See?” Ayase says, jutting her chin up. “The answer is still no. Go to a different beach and marry a lifeguard there if you need a bride that bad.”
“And leave our kingdom?” Ambassador Pecker says, affronted. He dunks his head back underwater, though whether it’s to breathe or to recover from the insult, Ken isn’t sure. When he resurfaces, he huffs, “Impossible! I know humans are not well versed in other species’ cultural norms, but to know that it’s this bad…”
“Miss Ayase, what are you doing?” Ken hisses to her.
“Trying to fix this!” Ayase says. “It’s not my fault you don’t have a backbone.”
“I do too! I’m just trying to approach the situation delicately!”
Ambassador Pecker’s expression is getting darker by the second. Ayase steps protectively in front of Ken, and as her eyes flash from one end of the beach to the other, Ken can see her calculate the odds and weigh them in her favor if worse comes to worse…
And yet, Ken also knows that Ayase doesn’t want to fight, not when it isn’t necessary. Not when someone is—even clumsily, even disastrously—extending a hand in friendship like this.
“Your prince can’t marry him!” Ayase says. Her eyes dart around again as she blurts out, “Because he’s, uh…he’s already taken!”
“By whom?” the ambassador asks.
“Me,” Ayase blurts out, jutting a thumb at herself, and Ken almost chokes on his own spit.
Ambassador Pecker frowns in confusion. “But you already said you weren’t courting him.”
“W-well yeah! But, uh…”
Ken’s gut twists with anxious desperation, and for some reason his mind fills with the memory of Ayase glancing at his lips. He’s not sure which of these things burns stronger within him—he only knows that something inside him leads him to blurt out, “She doesn’t need to court me anymore! B-because we’re already betrothed!”
“What?” Ayase squeaks.
“What?” Ambassador Pecker says. He narrows his eyes suspiciously. “Then why didn’t you say so before?”
“It’s a…secret betrothal,” Ken says weakly. “We’re…eloping?”
“Yeah!” Ayase says, taking Ken’s hand in hers. “We’re eloping because people think we’re too young to get married. So get lost.”
Ambassador Pecker looks at them shrewdly, and when his eyes turn to their clasped hands, his lips purse as if he can tell exactly how sweaty Ken’s hand has become in the last few seconds. Maybe he can. Maybe this sub-species of Mantisian can sense moisture in the air, and Ken’s nervous sweat is about to betray their ruse.
“Your partnership seems…new,” Ambassador Pecker decides. “Immature. Lifeguard Ken Takakura, I would not want you to miss out on the opportunity to wed our prince because of a passing fling-“
“Who are you calling a passing fling!” Ayase seethes.
“-So I will be available to you until the end of the week if you change your mind,” the ambassador continues. His eyes flash. “And be warned. Under Mantisian law and as a representative of the prince, if I find your current betrothal inadequate, it can be challenged.”
“You can’t challenge our relationship!” Ayase says. “It’s ours.”
“On the contrary,” Ambassador Pecker chuckles. “In Mantisian society, partnerships—particularly political partnerships—determine the well-being of the colony! You must demonstrate that you can provide for your partner, defend them from threats, and supply them with appropriate affection. Otherwise, your relationship is deemed poor for the well-being of the community and you must be separated by force. Which could be quite dangerous for Miss Ayase.” He says all of this as if it’s routine procedure. “I will monitor you throughout the week to determine whether your relationship contains these traits and inform you of my conclusions. Good day.”
He bows deeply, though the movement is somewhat ruined as he briefly dunks his head beneath the water to take a breath, and then nods to them both before walking into the ocean.
Empty space dissolves around them, and Ken and Ayase are left clutching each other’s hands in a death grip as the rest of the beach go-ers resume their activities as if nothing had occurred.
“That scumbag!” Ayase shouts at the ocean, and a passing couple glance at Ken as if to ask, it’s your job to deal with crazy people on the beach, right?
Ken gives them a sheepish wave and drags them both back to the lifeguard stand, though by the time they get there, his hands have become so clammy that Ayase’s lost her grip on him.
“What was that for?” Ayase demands. “W-why did you have to go and say that we’re engaged?”
“You started it!” Ken says, feeling oddly hurt by how obviously upset Ayase is by this. He wants to jab a finger into her chest to emphasize his point like he normally would, but she’s wearing that fucking bikini top, so he can’t, not without crossing her boundaries more than he already has today. “Why did you have to go and say that we’re a couple?”
“I-it was the only thing I could think of!” Ayase says, looking away from him. “And it worked, didn’t it?”
“But now you’re in danger,” Ken says, his heart sinking as he remembered the stakes here. Get it together, Ken, this isn’t just about your crush on Momo Ayase! “If our relationship doesn’t pass his test, he’ll separate us by force! He said it could hurt you…”
“Eh, I’m pretty tough,” Ayase says. She crosses her arms and groans. “Can’t we just fight him? Or can’t you just quit this dumb job and we can be done with all this?”
“If there’s a whole Mantisian society under the beach, then that sounds like a drastic fight. And I don’t think quitting would throw him off my trail after he’s already proposed…” Ken hangs his head in shame. “Besides, I can’t leave this job. It’s literally the only place that would hire me!”
Ayase hums in thought, narrowing her eyes in concentration. There’s a specific light that goes on in her eyes when she’s thinking of a plan, a liveliness to her gaze that makes Ken feel as though he can see the neurons and synapses firing beneath her irises. It’s only when Ayase speaks again that Ken realizes he’s been staring—ogling, more like—and averts his gaze.
“That’s it!” Ayase exclaimed. “If he’s trying to challenge our relationship, then we’ll just make sure it’s too good to be challenged!”
“Huh? But how? We aren’t actually betrothed, so there’s no way we can pass his test.”
“Sure we can. He said he can only challenge us if he thinks our relationship sucks, right?” Ayase takes his hand in hers. “So if we pretend that we’re in a relationship and make it lovey dovey enough, then he’ll have nothing to challenge!”
Despite the confidence of her words, Ayase runs a nervous thumb along his knuckles. Ken wonders if she even knows that she’s doing it—if she’s even aware of that tell. It makes him want to reassure her, to agree to her plan even if doing so will certainly doom him. There’s no way he’ll be able to survive an entire week of pretending to date Momo Ayase without…
Well, Ken doesn’t actually know what. He’s kept his feelings for Momo so small and so contained that he doesn’t actually know what would happen if they were allowed to come out, even in a game of pretend.
He takes a deep breath. This isn’t just about his crush. Her plan is the best option to keep her safe.
“Let’s do it,” Ken says, squeezing her hand in his and trying not to melt on the sand when she beams in response. Well, at the very least, at least it won’t be hard for him to convince the ambassador that he’s completely in love with Momo Ayase.