Chapter Text
Teba: He appears to have flown Medoh over Tanagar Canyon, and… somehow, he fell off! He’s not moving, so he has to be unconscious!
Urbosa: Or he jumped…
Daruk: There’s no way… O.O
Zelda: How did this happen!?
Mipha: WHY did this happen!?
Tulin: Dad, I’m following you!
Teba: We have to try and catch him… but he’s plummeting so fast!
Tulin: I know! We can’t let him reach the ground, or he’s as dead as… he canonically is in BOTW!
Teba: ?
Tulin: NVM POINT IS WE GOTTA GET HIM
Purah: Is there anything we could conceivably build to catch him or at least lessen the impact upon contact? Robbie, do you have anything?
Robbie: Do you think I brought a LAB to a WEDDING? …you know me well! I’ll see what I can do… but I don’t think there’s anything we can build fast enough!
Mipha: If someone could get me to the bottom of the canyon… then there’ll be a chance to save him even if he makes contact.
Tulin: Why do his eyes look like he’s crying?
Teba: OH SH–
*CRASH*
Yunobo: AAAAAAAAAA–
Mipha: E– everyon… pleas tay… cwlm…
Daruk: M– Mipha…?
Urbosa: You’re…
Link: She’s healing him…
Tulin: op power fr, wish I had dat
Teba: …
Mipha: Almst… donr…
Sidon: Sister, hang in there! Please, don’t overexert yourself!
Mipha: Bit if I donr… Ravoli dues…
Tulin: Anyone notice that what she spelled was actually closer to Ravioli than Revali?
Teba: Tulin, son, just shut up for a moment.
(Mipha added Revali to the chat)
Mipha: D– don–
(Mipha was disconnected from the chat)
Sidon: SISTER!
Link: She’s alright. Just unconscious. I’ve got her.
Revali: what in the flying fuck happened…
Daruk: I was just about to ask YOU the same thing, bud! Considering you died and all…
Revali: I’m dead…? Why don’t I get to rest in peace…?
Link: You’re not dead. Not anymore. You fell from in the skies on Vah Medoh to Tanagar Canyon floor, but Mipha saved you.
Revali: …Mipha did…? Oof, the irony…
Urbosa: You wanna tell us what happened?
Teba: Did you fall after being knocked out in training?
Revali: I guess…
Teba: you “guess”?
Revali: I wasn’t trying not to fall… I let it happen. It felt like it might be a pleasant occurrence.
Zelda: …you wanted to die?
Revali: …
Revali: Wait–
Mipha: Your life is that terrible…?
Revali: Um–
Urbosa: And, another important question, why didn’t you come to Mipha and Link’s wedding? Two of your fellow champions are getting married. It is a very important day.
Revali: …I’ve been feeling horrible lately.
Mipha: Do you want to talk about it? Is there any way I can help?
Revali: …
Revali: I don’t want to talk about it…
Zelda: I think I have a guess as to what’s wrong… if I may…?
Revali: ………
(Revali started a private chat)
(Revali added Zelda to the private chat)
(Revali locked the private chat)
Revali: Alright, go.
Zelda: Is it Mipha?
Revali: W– what? Why would she be making me ups–
Zelda: Because you love her.
Revali: …
Zelda: I understand. I love Link. And yet I find myself the bridesmaid at his wedding, not the bride. But Mipha is a wonderful person, and they’ve known each other longer. She’s always been closer to him than I am. Who could possibly blame him for falling in love with her? I’ve come to terms with it, and I’m doing my best to not be upset. Because the truth is, they’re wonderful together. I’m so, so happy for them. And I know Link cares about me a lot, just not in THAT way. Mipha too. You’re happy for them, aren’t you?
Revali: I am! But…
Zelda: Well, remember… Link is a good person. He treats Mipha well, and he takes his duty– the duty you think he doesn’t deserve– with utmost care.
Revali: …I suppose you’re right.
Zelda: And the wedding isn’t officially over. We can go there together, if you want. I promise, it’s not actually that painful. It’s peaceful. Peaceful to know the one you love is happy and with the person who’s most significant to them.
Revali: …oh, alright…
(Revali ended the private chat)
Link: What happened? You two both disappeared for a moment.
Zelda: Everything’s fine. And Revali’s joining us for the rest of the wedding!
Daruk: He is…?
Urbosa: AHAH! I KNEW IT!
Mipha: And Revali… you’re alright? If you aren’t, it’s okay. You shouldn’t feel pressured to go to the wedding, you should rest instead!
Revali: I think… I’m alright. I.. want to go.
Sidon: Alright then, it’s decided! We shall meet back at the wedding!
*later, in Zora’s Domain, at the wedding celebrations…*
(Paya joined the chat)
Paya: Terribly sorry to interupt…
Purah: Oh, Paya! You’re back! Did you figure out what was wrong with the Yiga?
Paya: Yes, well… it’s not a virus, or any kind of pathogen, in fact…
Purah: Oh, really? What is it, then?
Paya: The blood work results… they’re very concerning. The entire Yiga Clan is suffering from severe hyperkalemia.
Purah: …
Robbie: …
Purah: What the hell did I expect…