Chapter Text
Mira did feel a bit ridiculous having said what she had just said. A chat? How was she supposed to chat with the Honmoon? She could at best monologue at it and even that did feel a little bit silly. This entire situation, apart from compelling and captivating, felt silly.
Nevertheless, the Honmoon gave a soft green shimmer at her words, as if in agreement with her. So really, was it silly if it worked?
Mira waited for just the fraction of a second for the Honmoon to speak, only to realize the futility of that hope and let out a sigh. She would need to take the lead on this, even if the Honmoon initiated the interaction and clearly had some sort of agenda going.
"Is this going to be a game where you can answer in colors, yes and no?" She didn't mean to sound so amused by the clearly struggling Honmoon but, well, it was a little bit funny to be doing this with the barrier between worlds. The Honmoon stayed green and Mira let out a soft laugh.
"Frustrating, not to be able to talk to us directly, huh?" It was more of a comment to herself, she didn't expect the Honmoon to have much of an internal experience of emotions, but she couldn't quite suppress the confusion and awe that spread across her face as the green intensified tenfold for the fraction of a second. Clearly, the Honmoon could feel some form of emotion and clearly, one of those emotions was frustration.
That certainly was new information. To her, at least. She wouldn't be surprised if Zoey already knew, with the way she interacted with the Honmoon so fluidly. Zoey really was amazing. The Honmoon gave a soft rumble, as if agreeing at the thought.
"…can you read our minds?" Mira asked after taking a second to reflect on the Honmoon's reaction. It hesitated, turning the neutral blue she was used to, for just a moment, before breaking out into what Mira could best describe as a sheepish form of soft lime green that screamed "embarrassed kinda". Mira was not fully sure how to feel about that, but tried not to linger before the knowledge gave her any more of an existential crisis that she needed at this moment. She was overwhelmed enough as she was.
"Do you think I'll be able to guess why you are making my fingers feel all tingly like this?" She held up her left hand, feeling the sense of urgency to reach out and touch the Honmoon increase as they itched to perform the action. But Mira hadn't gone through years of obedience training for nothing and for once, she was happy she had. The Honmoon would need to get her fully informed consent first, even if it was the last thing she made sure of.
Well, not really, but it sounded more dramatic like this and clearly, by the small, pouting grumble the thought received, the idea came across just fine. She wasn't sure how much of her mind the Honmoon could read, but clearly it was enough to catch her drift on this.
The Honmoon gave a soft, apologetic red as the answer to her question. Figured. This was the most broken game she had ever played. But fuck it, if she wouldn't at least try to win it anyway.
"Yeah, I'm sorry I don't understand you as well as Zoey. She would probably make this easier." Mira admitted and the Honmoon shook, as if trying to dispel the thought. Mira uncrossed her legs, having felt them falling asleep. She really only needed one pair of limbs to be tingly at once, thank you.
"Would she not?" Mira asked, to make sure. The Honmoon glowed a soft red. How odd.
"…so this is specific to me?" A soft green this time. Okay, they were kind of, vaguely, getting somewhere here. Mira was already certain this would be an all nighter.
Green.
Great, the Honmoon had a sense of humor.
Actually, that brought up a question. Well, a lot of questions, but Mira felt it best to stick to one at a time.
"Are you sentient?" Green. Red. Confused lime. Enthusiastic green. Giddy purple. Orange. The colors switched in seconds, the waves of the Honmoon gliding around Mira in a burst of excitement at her question, a question that this answer did not actually address in the slightest. Okay fine, so that wasn't an avenue to go down, at least not for now.
"Has Celine ever talked to you like this?" A pause. Neutral blue. A hint of.. nostalgic? blue? Huh. Maybe she should take that question a step further.
"Is it normal for Hunters to talk to you like this?" Mira had expected a reaction, certainly. Maybe more nostalgia, befitting Celine. Maybe some excitement, maybe more colorful chaos. What she hadn't been prepared for was to be hit with a wave of crushing grief, as the Honmoon spread out around her in deep, matted grey. The ripples formed small, serrated edges as they flooded out from beneath her, settling back into the neutral, lined blue once they reached the end of the room.
Mira felt her breath fall short, her hands clasp at her sides, her muscles tense as her body nearly doubled over, the radiating pain in her temple explosive, destructive, truly as if the grief had hit her like a lightning bolt.
Grief-stricken took on a meaning Mira had never imagined a single human being was ever meant to comprehend. It was too massive, too layered, too connected, too much. It filled her veins, clogged her throat, seeped through her tendons, ripped her muscles apart, fiber by fiber, digging itself into the core of her being, as if trying to desperately retrieve lost warmth by creating it through the pure friction of clawing her fragile body apart.
In a flash, the Honmoon retracted, the soft blue back, as if nothing had just transpired. As if Mira hadn't just glimpsed the emotions of thousands, as if she wasn't shaking, alone, alone, on the floor of an empty room. Alone. So alone. Glaringly, obviously alone. How had she never seen just how lonely this world was? How desolate, how disconnected?
Her hand flew forward, ready to grasp at the blue, thrumming and ready strings that lingered well within her reach. She only managed to catch herself by the last second, her fingers curling into a fist, as she sat back again, heaving, eyes wide and wild, shoulders shaking as deep, ragged breaths wracked her body.
After a few minutes, in which the Honmoon offered soft laps of caressing attempts of what Mira could best describe as aftercare, not that she would call it that to the Honmoon's face and she hoped it wasn't hip enough with the times to know in what context she usually encountered the word, Mira slowly felt herself returning to the mortal plain of existence.
With a few more stuttered breaths, she managed to wheeze out a ragged "Illustrative." at the Honmoon, which recoiled ever so slightly, looking apologetic, if that was even possible.
Mira stayed quiet for a bit more, collecting her thoughts and frankly, her nerves. Clearly, that was not a topic she should touch on again, noted. Message received. So, what topics should she address? What topics could she address?
The Honmoon had called to her for something, after all. And this game of color charades was, to put it mildly, the most inconvenient way to be able to figure out what that something was.
The Honmoon, almost softly mocking her, glowed a muted green in response.
Mira leaned back again, the rough edges of the equipment digging into her back.
Maybe she was going at this wrong.
She had the Honmoon, a creature she had only really tonight realized could be described as such, answering her questions. Sure, it had an agenda and yes, she certainly would need to figure it out, as it was almost definitely for her own good. But also. Shouldn't she use this time to her advantage? The Honmoon wanted what was best for her, for them, after all. So surely it would be on board for at least a few more hours of questioning, if not a few more nights.
Wow, Zoey was really rubbing off on her. The thought made Mira smile as the Honmoon hummed in agreement below her. To which thought, she wasn't sure, but she would take this as permission to ask away anyway. They weren't in a hurry, after all.
Okay, so new game plan. Find out what she could, and maybe along the way, get to the root of why the Honmoon had called to her. That was a plan. Kind of. It was a plan enough for the early morning hours and her sleep deprived brain, at the very least.
"Do you have access to the other two's minds in the same way you do mine?" Getting a baseline seemed important right around now. Mira wished she could include Zoey in this, she seemed far more well versed in this kind of a questionnaire. She really was remarkable.
The Honmoon gave a soft green as a response. Interesting.
"So you know that Rumi is hiding something then." It wasn't really a question, more an observation, but Mira was still rewarded with a further pulse of green. She shifted in her spot on the floor, trying to prevent a full body cramp.
"Do you know what it is, that Rumi is hiding?" Again, green. Interesting. So not only did the Honmoon know, in it's… sentience? Mira felt comfortable enough to assume a modicum of sentience, at the very least- it had not felt it necessary to let Mira or Zoey know of the secret. It made Mira feel a bit more relaxed, knowing the all knowing shield had Rumi's back on this.
"Is it dangerous?" It still felt important to ask. The Honmoon wavered in it's response. A soft green, soft red. Stark orange. Mira briefly wondered if the Honmoon would be using the color orange to signal such uncertainty, if it was communicating with her before stoplights were invented. A question for another time
Mira paused before she asked the next question. The Honmoon's answer, as vague as it had been, left her wanting to specify.
"Is it dangerous, to Rumi, I mean. Is she safe with it?" A soft tinge of orange underlined the sea of green that the Honmoon rippled out in. Mira breathed out a sigh of relief. She and Zoey could deal with, help with, anything that could externally be dangerous. Whether it be to them, though Mira doubted Rumi would hide anything that could hurt them, from them like this, or to the rest of the world. That, they could deal with, together, as a team. But she had been worried that the secret was dangerous to Rumi herself, something outside of their reach. It was comforting to know that whatever it was, for the most part, the Honmoon did not deem it to be so.
The Honmoon lapped at her heels softly, as if trying to comfort her. As if it felt with her, the worry, the fear. Maybe it did. Maybe it didn't so much read their minds, as feel their emotions. A soft green and orange answered the unspoken thought. Interesting.
Mira would need to note this all down, and present it to Zoey. She was sure the girl would be delighted by it. Maybe it could make a good Christmas present. She wasn't even sure if Zoey celebrated Christmas, but she was sure she wouldn't say no to presents.
Mira gave a soft laugh to herself. Honmoon, she was down so bad, crushing so damn hard, so whipped, if she was thinking of writing a whole research paper as a gift. But Zoey deserved no less effort than that. A soft green thrum rippled through the strings of the Honmoon. Mira was glad it agreed that Zoey deserved the world.
"Rumi isn't very good at hiding her secret." Mira muttered, more to herself, as she brought her mind back on track. A small smile betrayed that she was fond of Rumi's inadequate lying skills, but she was sure the Honmoon could tell even if she had put on her best poker face. The Honmoon gave a soft, amused flicker of green.
"Do you…" It still felt a bit odd to be talking to the colorful floor as if it was a person. "Do you think-" Could it think? Surely it could. "Do you think that I should talk to her about that? About how many hints she has dropped?"
The Honmoon remained still, and somehow, Mira could tell it was waiting for her to continue. Like an odd intuition. A new feeling, certainly.
"I mean- I am certain I could put these clues together. Anyone could. I think Zoey already has, if I'm honest. She tried to cover it up, but I think she knows." It was difficult to keep the pride out of her voice, at how quickly Zoey had picked up on the scattered hints and at how quickly, Rumi had felt comfortable to slip up, or let them drop. They worked well together.
"I don't think Rumi knows that though. I'm not even sure she knows just how many hints she has been throwing around. And I haven't let her know, I know that is on me. But I have managed to ignore them until now. Explain them away. Compartmentalize- but-" Mira shook her head as her fingers played with the hem of her shirt, trying desperately to ignore the itching in them. The incessant urge to move them was getting stronger by the minute.
"But Honmoon, she purrs." Even Mira surprised herself with the level of deep affection in her voice. The Honmoon rippled out a soft pink to match her, like an eldritch mood ring. "I can't just ignore that." A soft, barely visible green.
"So I guess my question is- do I talk to her about that? Is it safe for me to do so? Will she be okay if I do it?" A small pause settled in the air, tense, anticipating, as Mira gazed at the docile neutral blue tendons spreading out around her. She was about to ask again, explain further, as the Honmoon cut her off with a short burst of a color that Mira could best describe as "determined and certain green". She was really discovering colors that she wasn't sure actually existed tonight.
"Cool." She nodded, clasping her hands to her side tightly as she jumped up. The urge to reach out was getting overwhelming, and she was not ready for that unknown. Not just yet.
At the thought, the urge subsided drastically, leaving a low hum of sleep in its wake. Her limbs felt tired, heavy. Her body ached. She felt like she had pulled two all nighters in a row and it hit her like six consecutive busses, leaving her to stumble towards the door, propping herself gingerly against it, before shooting a grateful look at the empty room.
"We'll talk again soon." She whispered out as she gave a soft wave, receiving a literal wave in return, which ushered her out the door and into the empty, quiet hallway.
Wow was that a lot to process.
But right now, all she craved was to crawl into bed, with her girls. Sorting through that tidal wave of information could wait until the morning time.
Or, well, the later morning time, at the very least.
—-
Zoey stretched, her old ancient barely two decades aged bones screeching at her in protest. It was odd, she thought as she rolled over, smothering her face in a turtle plushy. Either she was up on time today, a feat she had yet to achieve, or, the alarm was broken. Between the two, one seemed far more likely and as much as Zoey wished to stay in bed, she knew Celine would be cross if they overslept- though there was a solid chance for that to be hot so maybe- no- focus- so she reached out and flopped her hand down to where she assumed Mira to be.
Her hand landed flat on the mattress, meeting air. Zoey fumbled a few more times, hand up, let it fall, searching for and failing to smack any part of Mira awake.
Shield dammit, she must be up early again. Zoey really hated this new routine Mira had developed. It wasn't every morning, but on a handful a week, completely without pattern that Zoey could observe, Zoey found herself waking up alone in their joint bed, with Mira in the training room, looking mildly sleep deprived and yet satisfied with herself. She had yet to reveal what this secret training of hers was and safe to say, Zoey's mind was racing at all the possibilities.
The most likely being that Mira had some moves she wanted to practice and they were ambitious so she didn't want an audience while she did so. The least likely theory Zoey had yet to build was that Mira had suddenly developed a hankering for midnight snacks and was playing it off in the weirdest way possible.
Zoey groaned as she rolled over, letting her eyes flutter open. If Mira was out doing her secret little training sesh, she would need to be the responsible one and get up. Because it certainly wouldn't be Rumi. Rumi always got up about three seconds after Zoey and Zoey was starting to suspect that it was a terribly thinly veiled attempt at hiding that the half demon needed less sleep than them.
So fine, yes, she could get up, as much as she hated it. Celine was probably already in a bad mood, thanks to whatever she and Rumi had oddly loudly and emotionally discussed right out of intelligible earshot last night, so it was certainly best to not keep her waiting any longer.
Plus, Zoey had to get up to access the notebook in which she was keeping track of Mira's morning absences. So ugh, whatever. Up she went.
No less than the predicted three seconds after Zoey had swung her legs over the edge of the bed and reached to the notebook on her bedside table, did Rumi stir from her bed. The sheets rustled a bit too quickly for her having been deeply asleep before, but it wasn't as if Zoey wasn't aware that Rumi had long since already been awake.
"Good morning." Ough, Zoey's voice was rough this morning. Rumi blinked at her a few seconds, in what almost looked like she was genuinely processing something. Her cover was getting better, good for her.
"Morning." She grumbled out, rubbing her eyes to be extra convincing. Oh Zoey was down bad, that was so cute to watch. She jotted down the date in her notes quickly, before she got too distracted by Rumi's everything.
"I think the alarm is broken." Zoey started and checked her phone, confirming her suspicions. Yup, 8am. Far too late for a normal training day. It was a miracle really that Celine hadn't busted the door down yet.
"Mh." Was all Rumi responded as she sat up, giving a very cute cat like stretch. If Zoey squinted, she could swear she saw a purple streak right below where Rumi's shorts ended as they rode up, ever so slightly. Had the patterns grown? That probably wasn't good. Best not to let her eyes linger before Rumi caught her staring.
"And Mira is out on her morning.. whatever it is." Zoey gestured to the rudely empty bed next to her. Really, Mira was being very inconsiderate by depriving her of her morning cuddles like this. If Mira wasn't so clear about wanting to huddle up as often as she was, Zoey would be worried this was some kind of weird passive aggressive aversion tactic.
Well, no, she was definitely kind of, perhaps even quite, worried about that, but, she hoped and trusted Mira would talk to her about something like that. She could take it. She would cry, but she could take it.
Okay, these were not productive morning thoughts in the slightest. Zoey shook her head, giving her hands a solid few flaps for good measure, before she jumped out of bed, with perhaps too much enthusiasm. Overcompensation, which she hoped Rumi would not catch up on.
"Wanna get some food in the meantime?" Maybe having something in her system would calm the slowly growing dread in her system. Maybe.
Probably.
—-
Rumi wasn't quite sure why Zoey was looking over her shoulder every five seconds as she slapped together pancakes in the kitchen. She was an adult, she was allowed to use the kitchen and nobody faulted her for feeling homesick every once in a while and making an American breakfast. In fact, Rumi was quite looking forward to Zoey's food. She had learned very quickly that Zoey was very hit or miss with her culinary skills, either it was a hit and amazing, or they had to use the fire extinguisher. Thankfully, pancakes were a hit.
So really, Zoey looking so nervous, made very little sense. She had seemed jumpy before too, ever since they had gotten out of bed really. Maybe she had simply slept poorly.
Oh. Or maybe it was because they had broken their routine? She had forgotten to tell her that they had the day off, Celine would surely spend today at Rumi's mother's grave, at Rumi's firm insistence last night and every year before. If that was it, Rumi would let her know as soon as she wasn't worried that interrupting Zoey's flow, would cause a case of arson.
"Hey, I've been thinking." Okay, so Zoey was okay with being distracted, if she struck up a conversation. Rumi found it almost embarrassing how quickly she jumped off the couch and dashed to the kitchen to join Zoey. Almost. It was getting easier to not feel bad about those reactions, now that she was settling in with the idea that she had a crush on Zoey.
"Are we doing anything for Halloween? Is that a thing here? It's a week away- which isn't a lot of time to organize costumes but we can make it work- so yknow- are we?" Zoey spoke quickly, her focus shifting from the stove to Rumi and back to the stove in small intervals.
"It's a thing here, but we haven't really done much for it." Rumi responded, thinking back to her and Mira trying and failing to watch a horror movie the year prior. Mira was a horror reader and Rumi was honestly not the biggest fan in general. She didn't like gore, jump-scares or the really loud, high strung music, and she also, for reasons she did not like to think about, tended to sympathize with the monsters too much to want them to be killed. But if Zoey wanted to do something, she was certain Mira and her could pull themselves together.
"It kinda looses the luster when you fight actual demons." She gave a small white lie. For some reason it felt a bit embarrassing to admit that she was easily frightened by fiction on TV. Maybe because it was a bit ridiculous, given their daily life of demon hunting.
"Really? I always used it as a prime opportunity to get out and kill demons in plain sight!" Zoey flipped a pancake high up into the air, catching it with expertise. Rumi felt herself give a small clap. A shame Mira hadn't been around to see that.
"I could get all dressed up as a fictional serial killer and stab people all night, Halloween is kind of the best." Rumi had absolutely no idea of what to do with the sudden warmth in her body at the thought of Zoey dressed up in such a macabre fashion and so, she strategically chose to ignore it. Or try her hardest to, at the very least. Wow this was easier when she had thought these kinds of things were fictional.
"There aren't enough demons here to do that." Rumi almost felt disappointed as she spoke. Disappointed at the lack of demons. Crushes really did make you lose brain-cells and she wasn't sure if she should complain or not.
"I've noticed- hence why I'm asking! We can still dress up after all! Get some candy, watch some bad horror- there's this movie I've been dying to watch, Girls with Balls- it starts out with a french banjo cowboy narrating, it's got Lesbians, cannibals-" Zoey halted as she turned around, a small grin on her face as she took in Rumi's expression.
"Okay okay so no horror. But we can still dress up!" Rumi found no reason to deny that so she nodded, trying so very hard to get the different costumes Zoey and Mira could wear out of her head.
"Oh! We could paint on demon patterns- scare the shit out of Celine." Well that brought Rumi's thoughts to a screeching halt. What?
"No. Not demon patterns." Her voice came out more defensive, more hostile than she had intended. Zoey seemed to thankfully not notice it as her eyebrows quirked up.
"I mean- demons are evil! We can't just wear their skin, the marks of Gwi-Ma!" Rumi frankly found it ridiculous that she had to spell out why the other two should not tarnish their skin with wretched, parasitic demon patterns. Zoey however, just cocked her head, eyes tinged with amusement for some reason, alongside concern.
"I don't think it's cultural appropriation if it's demons, if that's what you're concerned about." Zoey half joked as she poured the last of the batter onto the pan, letting it sizzle away. Rumi leaned against the fridge, trying her very best not to show any of the emotions on her face. Not the rising panic, not the confused anger, not the yearning, nothing. Faults and fears, hidden. Secured.
She didn't want them to be and that thought hit her hard, knocking the wind out of her as she tightened her grip on the fridge latch. What about this situation made her so desperate to show herself to Zoey?
"Demons. Are. Evil." She managed to spit out, with as much conviction as she could. Sure, she knew Zoey and Mira liked the patterns, but painting them on their skin, as Celine had made very clear, was just another way to invite Gwi-Ma in, to normalize them. It was hell enough that Rumi was cursed with these marks.
Zoey gave a soft sigh as she slid the last of the pancakes onto a cartoonishly large pile and set a towel over them, presumably to keep them warm, before turning to Rumi, arms crossed.
"Hey. You saw me hug a demon. Would I do that if that demon was evil? Did she seem evil to you?" Zoey's tone was soft, but she sounded just a bit too much like a kindergarten teacher trying to lead a child to a conclusion for Rumi's liking. And yet, she made a point. A point, that Rumi had shoved to the farthest recesses of her mind.
No, that demon had seemed fine. Nice, even. Familiar. Non threatening. She shook her head and Zoey gave a nod.
"That's because she isn't evil. Kaitlyn is my friend. She was before she turned, and she is now." Rumi felt like all the air had been sucked straight out of her lungs and Zoey gave her an understanding smile in return.
"Maybe- maybe that's why she was like that- an anomaly." Rumi tried to reason. After all, demons were evil, Celine had been very clear on that. Maybe this anomaly was just because of highly specific circumstances. The exception that proved the rule or something along those lines.
"She wasn't an anomaly though." Zoey shook her head as an honest to Honmoon fond smile spread across her face. A fond smile, while thinking about demons!
"I was friends, or at least on solidly good terms, with a few of the local demons. They were good people, they had just been taken advantage of, at their lowest points. When they became demons, sure, they had a contractual obligation to harvest souls but.. they would let me stop them. They would work around my schedule. Hang out with me. Be friends with me." Zoey's voice got quieter as she spoke, her smile small as she stared at the ground, her folded arms now hugging her torso. Rumi felt compelled to reach out to her, and only managed to stop herself at the last second. She shouldn't interrupt.
"Of course, most demons were still.. subpar. Half weren't really sentient, so they had to be killed at any hour of the day, boy did my attendance record suffer, let me tell you." Zoey let out a wry laugh and Rumi parsed together what an attendance record was based on context clues.
"And I'll be real, yeah, even some of the fully sentient, human ones were fucking pricks." There. She had known. Anomalies here or there, demons were evil. There was no changing that. Rumi felt her hands meet her sleeves, tugging them down out of force of habit. Zoey's eyes flit down to Rumi's hands and Rumi let them fall immediately.
"I mean, Sandra- the demon, not my bul- anyway! - you met both but demon Sandra is the one we smashed into her with the chainsaw car-" Zoey gave a soft laugh at the mention of the contraption. What a first time fighting together that had been. Rumi still couldn't believe that Mira and her had not realized Zoey was a veteran demon hunter.
"She was definitely a grade A asshole- you know she called me like three different slurs- all of the wrong flavor by the way- for like a week after she first appeared?" Zoey gave a laugh and rolled her eyes. Rumi remained still. This wasn't the kind of evil she had been expecting.
"That ended when she did it in front of Dr. Toujou and they took her out themselves. They were a chill demon, had a doctorate in medieval European history. Helped me write one hell of a paper, knocked the socks right off of my history teacher." Zoey finished with a grin and a shrug, her eyes meeting Rumi's. Rumi had no idea what to say to that. Demons were evil. They were. They had to be.
And yet. Here Zoey was. Throwing this at her like it was a fun morning story to tell, like it wasn't throwing Rumi's entire worldview in a blender and pressing pulse.
"So yeah, I maintain. I don't care what Celine says, not all demons are evil. I'm pretty sure Sandra was just like that as a human too, just as I know that Kaitlyn barely changed when she got patterns one morning and showed up at my window, distraught out of her mind. It's the same person before and after, just with a new look." Zoey paused, eyebrows furrowing.
"At least it was in California. These demons are a bit different, but I need to do more research on that." She turned around, piling a heaping dose of pancakes onto a plate and smothering it in maple syrup, before handing a still stunned Rumi the plate and a fork.
"Sorry to derail the morning- I'll keep thinking on costumes! We can't do demon patterns, I think Celine would straight up stab us- not that I wouldn't-!" Zoey ran red as her mouth clamped shut and had Rumi not had a steady hold on the plate, it would have shattered onto the ground as Zoey lost her grip on it. Rumi blinked. She couldn't even begin to try and guess what that was about.
"Anyway! Let's have breakfast!" Zoey's tone was about an octave too high as she spoke and Rumi shrugged. She had far more important things to digest right now.
Because if demons weren't inherently evil.
If some were nice.
Good, even.
If demons had the capacity to be good, which Rumi had mounting evidence for now that she could not simply ignore, both based on Zoey's words, which she had every reason to trust, and based on her one week in Burbank, then Celine had been wrong.
Which begged the question, what else was Celine wrong about?
—-
Celine knelt by the graves, hands in her lap, eyes closed, head hung low. The wind was soft, yet the October air nipped at her in the early morning hours, the warm rays of the rising sun helping little with the chill. She didn't care. She knew this chill all too well by now. It had become a companion of sorts, fitting the yearly occasion. It helped her stay awake, alert. It kept her from drowning in the overwhelming grief she let spew forth, just today. Just a little bit.
Painful, isn't it?
His wretched voice cut through her grief, her quiet, her restless peace like blade of a blunt and bloodied guillotine. Intrusive, painful, searing, slow and all consuming. Celine gave all but a shuddered gasp to indicate she had heard him. She would not give him the satisfaction of a big reaction. Gwi-Ma would not feed on her today.
All alone, grieving the departed.
Celine shook her head. She knew that he knew she could hear him, but it helped keep him at bay, a little bit. Not much. Barely noticeably. But if she focused, she noticed he was a bit delayed in his responses. Maybe it was wishful thinking. Maybe delusions. But the point was, it kept him away for the fraction of a precious second more.
How many years is it now?
She wouldn't answer him. Absolutely not. She had made that mistake once before and it had been one too many times, the consequences of which were right in front of her. Celine bowed her head down, as if looking away from the gravestone- Mi-yeong's gravestone- would help her feel better about today. About what today marked.
It didn't.
I pity you.
She closed her eyes, her hands traveling across the rough edges of the stone, grounding her as her knees buried into the dirt that separated her from the soil that Mi-yeong had become.
You've endured it so long. Twenty years. Don't you deserve a break?
Her hands dug into the worn rock, pricking her fingers, knuckles tightening with strain. She knew this tactic. To get her to speak, if only once, would be his way in. In further, than he already, inexplicably, was.
At least Rumi wasn't here, to see her struggle. Struggle with him.
I'm feeling merciful today, you know?
Bullshit. That evil fire pit wouldn't be able to define the word mercy, even if Celine replaced his logs with all the dictionaries of the world.
Humor won't keep me away.
Deep breath in, deep breath out. Feel the grain of the stone beneath her fingertips. He would leave. He always left. Experience the cool soil soaking through her pants. He had limited time here, so close to the tree, so close to the graves. She just had to wait him out. Then she could grieve. Then she could let go again. Conceal, don't feel, push him down. Wait him out.
If you want your memories back. I may be willing to make a deal.
Celine's eyes snapped open despite herself, she felt her hands waver as they clutched the cold rock. Her breath hastened, her heart pounded as she struggled to keep her thoughts in line. At bay. Away from him.
Tempting, isn't it?
The urge to nod was overwhelming as grief and fear folded in on themselves, crushing her heart and shattering her composure. Celine slumped forward, grasping at the unmoving, uncaring gravestone, as if it was a lifeline.
To have them back. Have her back.
Celine's body shook. With anger, with terror, she didn't know. He mocked her, refusing to use her name, a name she could not recall, could not conjure. A name, an existence, that had been ripped from them. From her and Mi-yeong. A choice made in desperation, a choice she was now being offered, to partially rescind. Tempting was the tamest way Gwi-Ma could have ever put it.
I can do that for you, if you want. I don't ask for much in return.
Every tendon, muscle, ligament, vein, artery, bone, nerve- everything- screamed in Celine to accept. To not question it. To give in to the fog, the tar pit, that had snuck up on her and was smothering her mind. To pay it no heed, to simply give in. She held on to Mi-yeong's tombstone for dear life, a scrap of sanity, a sliver of clarity through which she could resist. Celine scratched against the rock and the skin of her fingers tore against it, blood coating the surface and turning it warm and sleek, her hands burning with the sharp pain. It kept her here. Wherever here was.
I simply ask for access to what is rightfully mine.
One image flashed through Celine's mind, sweeping away the fog just enough to clamp her mouth shut, before she could utter a single sound. The image cut through her like no other thought, reaching for her desperately struggling mind, clasping it firmly, enveloping it, flooding it with deep, protective blue.
Rumi.
He wanted Rumi.
She couldn't speak to him. Not right now. Any words could be misconstrued, any sound taken as agreement. So she reached out. Reached out with her slick, tearing, painful fingers, found a solid grasp on the warmed stone, and pulled herself forward with all the force she could muster.
A blue flash burst in front of Celine's eyes as a searing pain ran through her temple. Her mind freed the very same moment her skull made impact with the hard, solid tombstone. The sludge receded, the fog dissipated, Gwi-Ma's voice locked out with one action. One, simple, action.
One painful, bloody action.
Celine gripped one hand on the now slippery stone, steadying herself as her other hand found the wound. It wasn't deep. She hadn't cracked her crâne open, which she was happy to note. One time in her youth had been enough, she didn't need a repeat of that harrowing injury. It would be fine. She would be fine. It had been worth it. Her vision went hazy as she slumped down, letting her body be laid next to the grave, sprawled out as if she had been in battle. She supposed, she had been.
She didn't know if she had won. Wasn't sure if she was safe. The dull throb of her head, the sharp pain that ran through her as she moved ever so slightly, kept her in place. The Honmoon pooled around her, soft blue getting to work in the way she trusted it to.
By the time the girls would find her, she would be okay again, at the very least. She had all day to heal, Rumi wouldn't come find her until sunset at the earliest.
Celine let out a deep sigh, testing the waters and being elated that her barest of sounds elicited no response. She was too old for battles, that she knew. But it was comforting, in an odd way, to know that she could still spill her blood to protect Rumi. If her aching bones were still to be useful like that, she would gladly throw them before Gwi-Ma and let them burn with him, before he ever got his flames on her girl.
—-
Okay, that had kind of worked. Zoey wasn't 100% sure if the message had gotten across to Rumi, but by her stunned silence for most of the conversation and based on how shocked and hopeful she had seemed throughout breakfast, Zoey could hope that a little bit had gone through the thick skull of her half demon crush.
And yes, maybe sitting Rumi down to watch a documentary about Hybrids and Chimeras in the animal kingdom was a little bit on the nose, but also, Zoey had realized a while ago that anything less really did not break through Rumi's haze of shame or whatever she had going on, so on the nose documentary time it was.
Plus, Ligers were cool animals, so it wasn't out of the ordinary for something Zoey would watch. On the nose, yet with plenty, or at least some, plausible deniability.
Rumi seemingly hadn't really caught on, but she did have some gears turning in that pretty head of hers, if her constantly distant and refocused gaze was anything to go by.
"What are we watching?" Mira's voice cut through the narration as she appeared from the hallway, looking sleep deprived yet content. What an odd look, not that it didn't suit her. As if anything in the world didn't suit her.
"Nature documentary. Wanna watch?" Zoey pat the spot next to Rumi, reaching over her lap to do so and noticing Rumi tense ever so slightly as she did. Mira gave them a soft smile.
"I'll get some coffee first. And maybe something to eat. But I'll join after, we have the day off after all." Well now that was news to Zoey. It explained a lot, but it sure was news. Rumi went stiff again, and Zoey hadn't even touched her more than she already was by cuddling up beside her this time.
"How do you know that?" She asked and Mira looked at her, confusion on her face.
"October 23rd? Isn't that always a day off?" She made herself busy with the coffee machine, as Rumi straightened her back.
"You noted the date?" Why did she sound so confused? Was it some weird secret day off? Did those exist? Zoey paused the documentary, sensing a shift in whatever was happening.
"I mean when it happens four years in a row, you start to notice." Mira shrugged, grabbing some milk and adding just the faintest hint of a splash to her coffee.
"Sorry, I think I'm out of the loop- four years in a row of days off today?" Rumi nodded, unfurling herself from her comfy position and sitting up like a proper adult to have a conversation. A superfluous action, in Zoey's opinion.
"More like 14- ah I guess 15 years now- in a row." She corrected. Mira settled down on the couch next to Rumi, setting her drink and a plate with leftover pancakes down on coasters on the coffee table before turning to them, looking confused.
"15 years of Celine visiting the grave-" She went silent, her mouth forming and oval as she let out a low, sorrowful, "oh". Zoey blinked, the pieces falling into place rapidly in her mind. She didn't voice the realization, both in fear of being wrong, what if Mi-yeong died a few days after Rumi's birth after all, and because it really was Rumi's information to reveal. It was odd that she had kept it to herself for so long though. Zoey wasn't surprised she hadn't been told. She was surprised however that Mira also hadn't known.
"Yep." Rumi shrugged- "15 as of today."
"That's horrible to leave you alone like that." Mira frowned, trying and failing to keep the judgment out of her voice. Rumi shook her head in response.
"No, I insisted. I insist every year and she fights it tooth and nail but I insist. I have since I was five and realized what today means to her." Zoey wasn't going to comment on the to her and not to us, but she certainly had noticed it. Mira looked concerned now, her hand finding itself on Rumi's lower thigh. Rumi ran slightly red.
"So.. Rumi, have you not celebrated your birthday in 15 years? I just thought you did so privately with Celine or something but- not at all?" Mira sounded aghast. Zoey pulled herself closer to Rumi. Rumi was shaking, ever so slightly, like she was trying to hide it.
"It isn't much of a celebratory occasion to me." Rumi shrugged. As if that settled the matter. Zoey and Mira's eyes met and Zoey swore they had unlocked telepathy just then because their brain-cells connected and Mira jumped up instantaneously with Zoey, pulling a confused Rumi up with them.
"It's a celebratory occasion to us." Mira stated firmly, leaving no room for discussion. Wow her voice was hot like that. Reel it in Zoey.
"Yeah, we're taking you out today." Zoey agreed as they began marching towards their room, Rumi barely protesting as she let them pull her along, face beet red and the hint of a smile on her face. They left the documentary paused halfway through. It had lost all relevancy by now.
They had a birthday to celebrate!