Archive of Our Own

Tyler and Josh made a pact that if they were single by the time they got to a certain age, they would get married to each other. It was born out of too many Cheesy Gordita Crunches and swigs of Baja Blast. Tyler was lamenting about being single, feeling like he was missing out on some fundamental experience. Josh was attempting to reassure him that he wasn’t.

“You’re missing out on nothing,” Josh’s mouth was full of taco, muddling his words. Lucky for him, Tyler had experience hearing Josh speaking with his mouth full so he knew exactly what was being said.

“Relationships are overrated anyway,” Josh continued as he slumped back on the couch, brushing bits of cheese off his chest. “Trust me.”

“I’m trying to,” Tyler said. “I dunno… they seem nice. Always having someone around. Being each other’s number ones.” He rubbed his arm as if it was embarrassing to want this.

“That’s basically us already,” Josh pointed out.

“Huh. Yeah, I guess it is,” Tyler said upon further consideration.

“Tell you what,” Josh said. “If we’re not married by … I don’t know… our thirties or something… we can get married.”

“Really?”

His feelings for Josh were confusing at best. If he was asked what it was precisely what he felt, he’d fumble over his words and try to piece together a halfway coherent sentence, ending up falling short. What he felt for his best friend was bigger than words accommodated for, which was saying something for him. Tyler loved putting his big emotions to lyrics. But Josh was a whole different story. It wasn’t for a lack of trying. He had tried. And failed. And tried again. And failed some more. With a final wadded up paper ball in the garbage, he resigned himself to non-expression.

“Yeah, man. Why not?” Josh said. “Are you down?”

Tyler knew Josh was only doing this because he pitied him and his relationship (or lack thereof) woes. He hated feeling like a pitiable creature. But it was better than nothing.

He nodded.

“I’m down.”

“Awesome.” Josh held out his pinky.

Tyler linked theirs together. Josh gave a kiss to the union before pulling apart. Tyler ignored the way that it made his skin tingle like he ignored every other bodily reaction to Josh’s physical contact.

⋆˙⟡ ♡ ⛪︎ ♡ ⋆˙⟡

Years slipped by and so did their pact. Tyler almost thought it was part of a dream from some out of reach nonexistent land. Not something steeped in reality. But the distant words grew more and more potent by the year. He had to witness countless friends get the question popped to them or pop the question themselves. He had become increasingly skilled at camouflaging his disappointment in forced smiles, applause, and superfluous “congratulations!” One would’ve thought he was the biggest wedding enthusiast on the planet despite this not being the case.

He had brushes with dating. Never the real thing. More like first dates that never progressed beyond that. Certainly not anything with anyone he could seriously see himself getting married to.

On the other hand, Josh had been in and out of relationships, though nothing seemed to stick for him either. Tyler never knew if when they talked next, he’d be with the same girl or that he’d have an entirely new name to memorize that fell out of relevance in the coming weeks. There was a sort of sick satisfaction he was struck with whenever he would hear about the end of one of one of these affairs. He hoped it didn’t show on his face, that rush of glee ricocheting in his body. Short-lived relief was soon overtaken by dread and the fact there would always be another girl.

Realizing Josh was straight had been a gut punch. One that no amount of ice or over the counter drugs could mitigate the pain of. The sole upside was that at least he had a reason to move on.

He had come to terms with the fact that whatever he felt for Josh ran deeper than just best friends. But nothing would ever come of it, pact or not. In fact, Josh probably didn’t even remember the stupid pact. If he did, he hadn’t brought it up ever. Tyler let it fall to the wayside of his mind too. That was, until the subject of weddings came up in his own family.

“I’m getting married,” Zack told Tyler while he was carrying his laundry basket up the stairs. Tyler almost dropped it on his feet. With every other proposal, all he had to do was offer fake enthusiasm. Not only would Zack be instantly able to tell the difference, but there was a level of participation he would be expected to be involved in with it being his brother.

“Congrats,” Tyler said, adjusting his grip on the basket and continuing to head upstairs. Zack trailed behind him.

“Thanks. I was wondering if you would want to be in the wedding.”

“In it?”

“Yeah. As one of my groomsmen.”

Tyler walked into his room and set the basket on the edge of his bed. Not only at the wedding, but in it. That was a whole lot of commitment. But it was his brother. Of course he would do it.

He nodded.

Zack patted him on the back.

“Great. I’ll give you more details when we work them out.”

⋆˙⟡ ♡ ⛪︎ ♡ ⋆˙⟡

Tyler didn’t realize how much planning went into weddings until someone in his own family was tying the knot. The Joseph residence became stuffed with decor on every available surface. Included in this was the makeshift seating chart that changed every couple of days, floral arrangements that were just as up in the air, and bundles of candles. He had to tiptoe around so he wouldn’t make a mess.

In the meantime, he took refuge at Josh’s house that was less full of festivities. Tyler was thankful he didn’t have to worry about messing up a rogue centerpiece.

“How’s wedding planning going?” Josh asked, looking up at the ceiling from the mattress in his room. “Still boring?”

Tyler nodded, laying down across from Josh diagonally on the other part of the bed.

“It’s all my family talks about these days. It’s like I don’t exist. Except when I’m being discussed in reference to where I’m going to stand in relation to the other groomsmen. Then suddenly it’s all Tyler this. Tyler that..”

“That’s right. You’re in the wedding,” Josh said. “Who are you going to bring as your plus one?”

Tyler groaned, covering his face.

“No clue.” With the chaos, the fact that he had a plus one slipped his mind. He mentally ran through his list of friends and acquaintances. “There’s not really anyone I want to bring. Well…”

“Well what?”

“It’s nothing.”

“Oh come on. I’m not buying that,” Josh said, looking up and over at Tyler. “Tell me or I’m tickling it out of you.”

Tyler preemptively covered his most vulnerable areas in case Josh decided to go that route.

“You could go with me,” he blurted out, staring holes into the walls. When Josh didn’t immediately respond, he started to backtrack.

“Never mind. Forget I said anything. I’ll see if someone else is available.”

“Hey,” Josh said, laying a hand on Tyler’s shoulder. “I didn’t say no.”

“But you will.”

“You don’t know that.”

“Prove me wrong then.”

Josh took the challenge in stride.

“Okay. Tyler, I’d be honored to be your plus one.”

Tyler rolled his eyes, feeling his cheeks heat up.

“You don’t have to do this.”

“I know. I want to.” Josh gave his shoulder a squeeze. “Plus I get to see you in a suit. Win-win.”

Josh’s comment made him aware of the fact that yes, Josh would see him in a suit. But also that he would see Josh in one. Josh, who like him, lived in t-shirts and jeans. Or sometimes no shirt at all. Tyler pretended to not stare, but always found his eyes wandering back to Josh’s bare arms and his stomach and his chest and—

“Earth to Tyler.” Josh waved a hand in front of his face. “Where did you go there, bud?”

Bud. Another stupid bro-ey nickname that served as a cruel reminder of all they’d ever be. Buds. Pals. Best friends. He thought about stuff Josh probably called his temporary girlfriends. Baby. Babe. Sweetheart. Love.

Love. A stupid four letter reserved for what he couldn’t have.

His stomach twisted inwards on itself.

“Mhm here,” he muttered. “Yeah. You’ll see me in a suit. So exciting.”

“Are you not looking forward to the wedding?” Josh rolled over and propped himself up on his elbows. “I can show up and we can run off somewhere if you want.”

“Can’t. I’m in the wedding party.”

“I’ll try to make it an enjoyable experience for you then.”

“Are you sure there’s no one you’d rather go with?” Tyler asked. “You’re invited, obviously. You could be someone else’s plus one.”

“Are you kidding? Of course I want to go with my best friend.” Josh grinned. There it was again. Tyler didn’t share a similar enthusiasm, but he smiled anyway. It was hard not to smile back. Josh’s smile was infectious. So bright it could’ve lit the earth if the sun ceased to exist.

“I gotta start shopping for something to wear soon.”

“Yeah. Probably don’t have any dress shirts in that closet huh?” Tyler glanced over at the closet door that had been left ajar.

“Yeah. Unless you count when I was in high school. Those definitely don’t fit anymore.”

“I’m sure whatever you get will look great.”

“Awe thanks,” Josh said. “Back at ya, dude.”

Another one of those damn nicknames. Tyler suppressed a sigh and stared at one of the posters on the wall of a black hole he wished would swallow him up.

⋆˙⟡ ♡ ⛪︎ ♡ ⋆˙⟡

“I have a huge favor to ask,” Zack said. He and Tyler were in the living room, passively giving attention to the cartoons on the screen.

“What is it?”

“Do you think that for our first dance, you could sing?”

“Sing what?”

“It’s up to you.”

Tyler chewed over the idea. The wedding was supposed to be his off day. Not that he minded. Performing was like breathing for him. In fact some days, more essential. Though this would be toned down from his usual theatrics. He’d needed something sweet and charming, strumming on an acoustic or a ukulele.

And then came the question of songs. There were thousands upon thousands of love songs to choose from. He wrung his hands in indecision already.

“You really don’t have an idea?”

“Nah. Totally up to you.”

He tried to think about it from the point of view of choosing a setlist for a Twenty One Pilots show. Except this was a one song show and instead of a set discography, he had endless discographies to choose from. He was about to throw in the towel until he remembered that Elvis cover he had done for YouTube. Even performed it at some shows. It always got a good crowd reaction. The fans loved that one. So did he. It was a solid choice. Who didn’t like Elvis?

“Okay. I’ll do it.” He stood up, walking off.

“Where are you going?”

“To practice.”

⋆˙⟡ ♡ ⛪︎ ♡ ⋆˙⟡

The months passed in a blur. When it was finally time for the wedding, Tyler felt like it was his big day instead of his brother’s. Some of the nerves were at the prospect of never getting married himself. It wasn’t like he was that old. He was almost 28. People got married around then all of the time. Though usually they at least were in a relationship. He didn’t even have that part down. He swallowed his bitterness at the fact that his younger brother was getting married before him and knotted his tie.

Maybe the nerves were also from his performance for the first song. Even though he knew the song like the back of his hand, he practiced until his fingers had an unrelenting ache in them. Not great when he still had yet to play, but it wasn’t nothing a little ibuprofen couldn’t fix.

Either way, he felt the pressure as he slipped into his suit jacket in the hotel. The wedding venue was a bit of a drive, leading to him booking a room at the closest hotel. So close in fact it was within walking distance. He glanced out the window at his surroundings—tall trees and shrubbery. If he didn’t have somewhere to be, he would’ve loved to stretch out on the ground and stare up at the sky. Maybe pick out some patterns in the clouds. There was no time for that with the wedding ceremony soon.

He glanced in the full length mirror, inspecting the suit. For his groomsmen, Zack had opted for the classic black and white suit combination. Splashes of color came from the tie and boutonniere, pale pink and a cluster of white, gold, peach, and bubble gum pink respectively. He fussed with his tie until he messed it up and had to redo it.

What was Josh wearing? He still had no clue. Josh had been rather secretive about his suit, denying Tyler the peek he so desperately wanted. Even his usual trick of pouting wasn’t enough to sway him, though it was enough to make Josh falter on his stance.

There was no point in pondering further. He would find out soon enough. Unless Josh bailed and he was left with a plus zero. Though he doubted that would be the case. Josh was reliable. He wouldn’t say he was coming and go so far as to buy a suit just to blow him off. He reminded himself of this as he walked over to where the ceremony was being held. He was ushered into a lounge with the other groomsmen and Zack.

“There he is,” someone said, alerting everyone in the space to Tyler’s presence.

Tyler flashed a small wave.

Zack came over, looking particularly frazzled.

“Great. You’re here. In one piece.”

“Yup. How are you feeling?”

“Nervous.”

“It’ll be okay. Just those pre-wedding jitters,” Tyler said. “You got this.” He gave his brother a brief one-armed hug.

“Thanks.” Zack paced back and forth. “I think we go out soon. Places everyone.”

The guys shuffled into their order.

Then it was time to go into the chapel. Tyler tried his best to keep his eyes on the aisle as he walked out, fighting the urge to seek out Josh in the pews. He made it until the ceremony was well underway. The vows had made him tear up. He looked off to the audience when he spotted a familiar face. Josh smiled at him, offering a wave. Tyler bit his lip to hold back the smile that threatened to form. He turned his attention back to the ceremony.

“Let’s hear it for Mr. And Mrs. Joseph,” the officiant called out.

Tyler snuck one last glance at Josh as he walked back down the aisle.

⋆˙⟡ ♡ ⛪︎ ♡ ⋆˙⟡

Tyler was seated with the rest of the wedding party for dinner, meaning he was separated from Josh yet again. That didn’t stop him from sneaking a few looks in Josh’s direction throughout the meal, resulting in a few grains of rice falling into his lap. With the lighting, he couldn’t make out any details of Josh’s suit. He held back his frustration and focused on his plate. So far they hadn’t exchanged so much as a single word. He’d be lying if he said he wasn’t getting impatient.

After dinner, it was time for the first dance. Tyler grabbed his ukulele and took off his suit coat so he had a better range of movement. There was a high stool waiting for him. He balanced on it, nearly falling off at first. Those damn nerves. With a shaky breath, he began to strum. The words followed.

“Wise men say only fools rush in. But I can't help falling in love with you.”

His feelings were a foolish folly he fought off that would inevitably resurface every time Josh got a little too close or held his gaze for too long. He couldn’t help it. Even when he tried to. Despite his best efforts, he could never fully get over Josh, his greatest what if.

As he sang the words, his gaze naturally located Josh. Tyler’s heart felt it before he consciously realized, pounding in his chest. The bottom of his stomach dropped out like he was barreling down the world’s tallest roller coaster. He gripped the neck of the ukulele tighter.

He stuttered over the next line, swallowing hard.

“Shall I stay? Would it be a sin, if I can't help falling in love with you?”

It would be sin. This had been drilled into him since birth. Men belonged with women. Cue the accompanying Bible verses in case he had any doubts.

But this didn’t feel like a sin. Loving Josh felt like the most natural thing on the planet. It felt good. It felt right.

Except for when he thought about the crushing reality that he was in love with his straight best friend. Then it didn’t feel as good. It was a realization he had to choke down that left him tinged with nausea.

So did it even matter? It’s not like he could have Josh in the way he wanted. He’d settle for this. It was better than nothing. He worked hard to convinced himself that it was enough to have Josh in the limited capacity he did. Being around Josh was enough. It didn't matter that he wanted more. This was enough.

At least that’s what he told himself as he sang the rest of the song, looking away from Josh so he could get through the rest of the lyrics without crying or screaming or saying something stupid he couldn’t take back.

Applause filled the room when he finished. Tyler gave a humble bow, grabbed his suit coat, and darted off to the closest secluded area he could find, which happened to be a powder room. He threw himself down on one of the luxe cloth benches, catching his breath like he had just run a mile instead of singing a song. The blazer slumped to the floor in a defeated pile.

In. Out. Innnnnnnn. Ouuuuuut.

Breathing wasn’t supposed to be this hard.

But it was when he was finally coming to terms with what he had suppressed over the years. For Christ's sake, he couldn’t be having love realizations at his brother’s goddamn wedding, where he’d be surrounded by affection all night. The thought made him want to hide out in the bathroom until the last song from the DJ faded out.

A knock proceeded someone calling out his name.

“Tyler? Are you in there?”

Not just someone. Josh, the reason he was all sorts of confused right now. He was tempted to shut up and say nothing. Ultimately he gave in like he always did when it came to Josh.

“Yeah.”

For the first time all night, Tyler could finally see what his suit looked like. He had expected something similarly basic to his suit. He should’ve known Josh wouldn’t settle for basic.

The suit was a similar shade and material to the bench he was sprawled on: a dark green velvet. Instead of a tie, he wore a black bow tie. He was so gorgeous Tyler wanted to cry.

“You match the bench,” Tyler said.

Josh looked up and down from his suit to the bench.

“I do. Weird coincidence. Who wore it better? Me or the bench?”

“You,” Tyler answered without missing a beat.

“Awe shucks. Thanks. So uh, why are you in here instead of busting a move on the dance floor?”

Here came the barrage of lies Tyler would have to cook up on the spot. He couldn’t give away the real reason. He needed something plausible.

“It was getting hot in there. I wanted to try to cool down.”

Josh nodded, seeming to have bought it hook, line, and sinker.

“You sounded good up there by the way.”

“Yeah?”

“All you were missing was some killer drums.” Josh did some air drumming, making Tyler laugh.

“Something tells me the new bride and groom wouldn’t have appreciated us turning their wedding into a Twenty One Pilots show.”

“They’re missing out.”

A silence ensued.

“Your suit is nice,” Josh broke the silence first. “If I didn’t know any better, I’d have thought you were the groom instead of Zack.”

“Thanks,” Tyler said, sitting up at last. His cheeks warmed at the compliment. Josh’s words had that effect on him, always able to get a reaction out of his body.

“Your suit is nice too.”

“We clean up nicely,” Josh said. “So what do you say? Wanna go back out?”

Tyler nodded. Josh held out his hand. Tyler took it, allowing Josh to assist him in bringing up upright.

“Here,” Josh said, bending down to pick up the suit jacket. “Let me help you.”

Before he could protest, Josh held out the jacket, guiding Tyler's arms back into the sleeves. Josh adjusted the cuffs.

“Thanks,” Tyler said, running a hand through his hair.

He and Josh walked out of the power room.

The DJ was spinning “You Belong With Me” by the time they returned to the reception. Tyler wouldn’t admit he had jammed out to Taylor Swift alone in his car, though he feared it was obvious by the enthusiasm he exhibited on the dance floor. Josh bopped along with him, headbanging like it was a metal song.

Tyler forgot the thoughts that cluttered his mind. That was, until it was time for the first slow dance of the evening. People paired off and began to sway. He was about to walk off the dance floor when Josh grabbed his arm.

“Wanna dance?”

“Isn’t that too corny?”

“Nah. Doesn’t have to be. Cmon.”

Josh wrapped his arms around his waist. Tyler wasn’t sure what to do with his arms, keeping them awkwardly pressed to Josh’s chest.

“Up here,” Josh said, moving Tyler’s arms so they were around his neck.

“Relax.”

“That’s hard.”

“It’s just me.”

That’s exactly why I can’t relax, he wanted to say, remaining silent while his brain buzzed. They were so close. Close enough for Tyler to smell Josh’s aftershave mixed with cologne he must have sprayed for the special occasions. Josh didn't usually wear cologne. Not even when he had various date nights with his prior girlfriends.

What are the things that I want to say

Just aren't coming out right?

I'm tripping on words

You got my head spinning

I don't know where to go from here

There was so much he wanted to say. Yet he said nothing. He couldn’t trip on words he wouldn’t speak. It was certain his head was spinning, threatening to leave him horizontal again. He didn’t know where to go from here. That part was emphatically, without a doubt, true.

He stared into Josh’s eyes, getting lost in them just like he did in the music. Josh’s arms were firm around him, keeping their bodies close together. Did friends hold each other like this? They were touchy sometimes. It was probably just that, their usual platonic affection. Friends slow danced and stared longingly into each other’s eyes too, right? He supposed they did when they didn’t bring a date to a wedding. Though in a way, Josh was his date.

Why couldn’t they remain like this together forever? Swaying until the end of time. He could’ve been content like that. He would’ve, if given the opportunity. But he wasn’t. They would be nothing more than friends.

As painful and hard as it was to stomach the truth, it didn't change the fact that it was the truth. Sometimes the truth was an ugly and vile thing he'd rather turn a blind eye to. He almost threw up when he imagined the day Josh got married and swayed with his future bride, a faceless woman who haunted his nightmares.

No. He couldn't go there right now. This dance was between the two of them. Maybe one day that would change but here, in the right and now, this dance was reserved for him, Tyler Joseph—Josh Dun's loyal best friend who was foolishly and head over heels in love with him.

In the meantime, he’d enjoy whatever this was. He’d savor their closeness that would inevitably part at the conclusion of the song that was near.

“See? Not so scary,” Josh said. “You’re doing great.”

“Maybe we should start doing this at our sets,” Tyler half-joked. In fact, he joked about the two of them more than he'd like to admit that deep down, it wasn't really jokes. It was much easier to conceive of his feelings that way. He didn't really like Josh. It was just something to get a rise out of the fans. Nothing more.

As he relished in the way Josh gripped his waist, it was hard to find the humor.

Josh burst out in laughter, eyes sparkling.

“The fans would get a kick out of that.”

“Definitely. We gotta do it. For the fans.”

“Yup. All for them.”

And I don't know why

I can't keep my eyes off of you

What day is it?

And in what month?

This clock never seemed so alive

Tyler knew exactly why he couldn’t keep his eyes off Josh. Josh was the easiest thing to stare at. Tyler could've spent an entire day staring at him and being fulfilled like that. Maybe that was why he settled for just being friends. At least then he would get to bear witness to Josh's beauty, more stunning than a vibrant sunset or a perfect winter day that blanketed the earth in fluffy snow.

His heart ached as Josh’s arms dropped from around him. He wanted to go back over and request another slow song. But it was too late. An upbeat pop song took its place.

“Let’s get something to drink,” Josh said.

Tyler wandered over to the bar with him.

“I’ll have… a Happily Ever After. Whatever that is,” Josh said.

“Me too,” Tyler chimed in. He hadn’t really drank… ever. He didn’t count the expired Bud Light from when he was 13. It had put him off from the whole drinking thing altogether, finding the taste repulsive.

The bartender slid two identical drinks their way.

“It matches your tie,” Josh noted, picking up his glass. “Cheers to your tie.”

“Cheers to my tie.” Tyler picked up the other glass and clinked it to Josh’s. He took a sip, surprisingly not wincing.

“It’s not bad,” he said, licking his lips. “Kinda tastes like juice.”

“Totally,” Josh said, picking out the cherry and sucking it off the stem. Tyler pretended to not be affected by the gesture, taking another sip. Then another. And another until he drained the glass and called for his second.

“Woahhhh careful. You’re not used to handling your alcohol.”

“I’ll be fine,” Tyler said. “I don’t even feel anything.”

“Of course you don’t. It’ll catch up.”

Josh finished his drink off and moved to his second, keeping up with Tyler.

“Everyone is so happy here,” Tyler said, glass in hand. “Have you noticed that?”

“Yeah. People tend to be happy at weddings, Ty. It’s not a funeral.”

“No. But could you imagine? Imagine if weddings were sad and funerals were happy.”

Josh chuckled.

“Your mind is something.” He poked Tyler’s forehead. Tyler blushed, blaming it on the Happily Ever After. It was as good enough of an excuse as any. The truth was, he would’ve blushed stone cold sober. If Josh was touching him in any capacity, pink on his cheeks was sure to follow.

“Where are you staying tonight?” Tyler asked.

“I was gonna drive back.”

“But you’ve been drinking.”

“Shit. Yeah.” Josh rubbed the back of his neck. “I dunno.”

“You can stay with me,” Tyler offered. Was this the alcohol too?

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah. It’ll be fun! Like a sleepover. Instead of the couch, we can pass out in a big bed.”

“Maybe we can order some pizza.”

“And jump on the bed!”

“God, it’s like we’re literally five,” Josh said, shaking his head. “Never change.”

“I didn’t plan on it.”

“Do you hear that?” Josh asked.

“Mhm. No?”

“I love this song. Come on!”

Josh dragged Tyler back on the dance floor where they remained for a few more songs. Between the drinking and the dancing, Tyler was having the time of his life, forgetting about his prior anxieties. Finally his mind was quiet for once, leaving him in the wake of bliss. When it was time to go up to Tyler’s room, they waved goodbye to the guests and his family.

“Where are you headed?” Zack said.

“My room.”

“What about Josh?”

“He’s sharing my room. He was gonna drive but he’s been drinking.”

Zack shot him a look he didn’t understand.

“What?” Tyler asked.

“Nothing. Have a good night.” He patted Tyler’s chest and winked at Josh.

“Okay what the hell was that about?” Tyler asked while they were walking in the hallway. “He totally winked at you.”

“I have no clue. He’s your brother. If anyone should know, it’s you.”

Tyler tried to deduce the meaning, but was running a blank.

“Maybe he’s tipsy too.”

They stumbled over the lawn, across the lobby, and into the elevator. They giggled the entire ride up, dramatically clutching the rail to keep from falling. Once reaching the room, Tyler fumbled with the keycard.

“Oh no. It’s not working.”

“Lemme try.”

Josh took the card, their fingers brushing. Tyler hit his lip while watching Josh not having any better luck. Finally it blinked green and the door unlocked.

“Woah. It’s nice in here,” Josh said, walking in and surveying the space. “Even though it’s dark and I can’t see much.” Tyler heard him shuffle over to the bed and flop down. He joined him. With the curtains pulled back, the moon ushered in a gentle glow that lined Josh’s features nicely.

“You look beautiful under the moonlight,” Tyler murmured.

“Hm? What did you say?” Josh said.

“Shit. Sorry. Inside thought.”

“Nah. Tell me. There are no inside thoughts here.”

“Nooooo.”

“I’ll get it out of you one way or another.”

Before Tyler could ask how, Josh tackled him. He tickled under Tyler’s arms, sending him flailing.

“Stopppppppp.”

“Tell me and I will.”

“Mhmmmmm I dunnooooo.”

Josh going for his feet was his last straw. Tyler yelped and conceded.

“Okay! Okay! I just said that you look beautiful under the moonlight. That’s all.”

Josh, who was straddling Tyler, stopped tickling him. When he didn’t say anything, Tyler thought he fucked up. Badly. He jumped to fix the situation.

“I mean, uh, you look… not good in the moonlight. Well, not bad. But average. How you’re supposed to look in the moonlight as my best friend. Like—”

“Tyler,” Josh said. “Shut up.”

He leaned forward, pressing his lips to Tyler’s. Once the shock settled in, it melted into awe.

He hoped his kiss said everything he couldn’t put into words. Tyler kissed Josh like the world was ending and the only way to save it was to bring their lips together. Like the fate of humanity rested on their shoulders. Like there’s nothing else he’d rather do. Which was true. Kissing Josh was the best thing he had experienced in almost 30 years of living. How he had gone this long without it was beyond him.

When they pulled apart, Josh’s face was inches away from his. Tyler stared into his eyes, not daring to look away. He didn’t want to. Nothing could’ve pulled him away in this moment, not even if the alarm would’ve went off. Thankfully it didn’t, allowing Tyler to unabashedly stare.

“You really do look good in that suit, y’know,” Josh’s voice was low, desire running thick in a way foreign to Tyler. “Really good.”

“Yeah. So do you,” Tyler said. “I couldn’t stop staring at you.” He stuck his fingers under his tie, loosening it. Josh did the same with his bow tie.

Josh kissed him again. Tyler wrapped his arms around Josh’s neck like they did on the dance floor. He could feel every tremble, praying that his arms not wouldn’t release their grip. He couldn’t stand letting go now. He needed Josh as close as humanly possible.

They started grinding together, restricted by their pants. Tyler was throbbing like crazy. It got worse with each brush of friction.

Josh rolled over.

“Do you want me to touch you, Ty?”

“Yes,” Tyler said breathlessly. “Can I… touch you too?”

“Yeah.”

Josh reached over, fingers working at Tyler’s belt, undoing it so he could slip his hand down his pants. Tyler did the same, fingers trembling like his arms. It was a miracle he got the clasp undone.

Josh was hard. All because of him. He tried to not let it go to his head as he began to stroke him, eliciting a groan from Josh.

“Mhm baby. Feels so good.”

Baby.

The term of endearment was like crack to Tyler. It spiked a rush of adrenaline through him, more than any silly friend name ever had. He needed more. He needed to hear every pet name spoken by Josh’s tongue.

Josh’s fingers wrapped around his cock, earning a whine from Tyler.

“You’re worked up too,” Josh said.

There was no denying that. No sense in it either. Josh had his fingers wrapped around the proof.

“Y-Yeah.”

“I see that. Or should I say ‘feel that.’”

Tyler snorted. Even in a moment like this, they were able to have their usual humor. Maybe he didn’t have to choose between best friend and lover. Maybe he could have both. But that was greedy of him.

They kept touching each other, the jokes stopping once they really got going. Tyler’s head was swimming. He initiated another kiss, moaning into Josh’s mouth. Josh moaned back.

“Mhm so close,” Josh said. “You feel too good.”

“Me too,” Tyler whimpered. “Don’t stop. Please.”

“Don’t worry, baby. I won’t. Gonna make you feel so good,” Josh said, moving his fingers faster around Tyler’s cock.

Tyler couldn’t stop letting out embarrassing noises. Ones he hoped Josh would forget later. He could only hope.

“Josh—”

“Tyler—”

Their names tripped over each other, blending together in an erratic symphony. Tyler wasn’t sure where one stopped and another started. Nor did he care.

They held onto each other as they finished at the same time, a poetic end to the night.

⋆˙⟡ ♡ ⛪︎ ♡ ⋆˙⟡

Sunlight streamed in through windows that no curtain or blinds thwarted out, meaning it reigned in full force in the space and was probably the reason Tyler was awake already.

He slowly blinked, the room fading into view. At first, he thought last night must have been an elaborate dream. One that left him wanting and aching for more. But when he looked over and saw his best friend passed out beside him in the king size bed, he realized that nope. He and Josh had done all of... that.

Holy fuck.

He tried to quell the rising panic that was slowly taking over. Josh would hate him when he realized the same thing Tyler did moments ago. He’d recoil away in disgust. He’d blame it on the festivities and those stupid drinks at the bar and getting caught up in the heat of the moment and—”

“Good morning,” Josh murmured, rousing beside him. “It’s so bright.”

“Sorry.” He went up to close the blinds and pull the curtains shut. Josh pulled him back before he could get out bed.

“Stay here with me,” he mumbled, pulling Tyler into his arms.

Tyler’s heart fluttered as Josh's arms snaked around his waist. His cheeks colored that same damn stubborn pink that haunted him throughout yesterday. He and Josh had never cuddled like this before. This didn’t look like disgust.

“Josh,” he said. “You don’t hate me, right?”

“Why would I hate you?”

“Cuz of last night. I know it was probably a mistake and you regret it, but—”

“I don’t,” Josh said. “Regret it. Do you think it was a mistake?”

“No. I just figured you did. I didn’t even know you liked guys.”

Josh let out a groan, head falling against Tyler's back.

“I didn’t either. But I guess that explains why my relationships kept not working out.”

“Oh?”

“Yeah. And also the fact that I may have said your name by accident during sex a few times, but you know.”

Tyler had to turn over in Josh’s arms at this so he could face him and gauge how serious he was being. Nothing betrayed itself on his face, to his utter shock.

“Cmon. You can’t be that surprised.”

“I am.”

Josh brought Tyler into a kiss. Tyler sighed into it. He had missed Josh’s lips already. Kissing him felt like coming home.

“Are you still surprised?”

“If I say yes, will you kiss me again?”

Josh laughed, his eyes crinkling.

“Yeah. See. This is what I mean. No one compares to you. You’re just… you’re Tyler, you know?”

“That is indeed my name.”

“You know what I mean.”

“Mhmmm nope. You have to spell it out for me.”

Josh volleyed a playful eye roll.

“You mean everything to me. I never get sick of being around you. You’re the best part of every day. I love doing shows with you. It’s awesome seeing you come alive up there. And I’m so honored to be in the band with you. It’s been the time of my life, drumming for you. I hope we never stop doing music together. And never stop being friends and never stop… whatever this is.” Josh laced their fingers together.

“Those kinda sound like vows,” Tyler said, unable to keep his smile under wraps.

“Joshua Dun, do you vow to always be my drummer? For better or worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, until death do us part?”

“I do,” Josh said, beaming like he was at the altar instead of tangled up in hotel sheets.

“Tyler Joseph, do you vow to always be my singer? For better or worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, until death do us part?”

“I do,” Tyler responded, experiencing the same giddiness he would’ve if they were standing across from each other.

Josh shifted his tone to an official sounding rumble.

“By the power vested in me, I now pronounce you both husbands. You may now kiss.”

Tyler giggled as they kissed. Josh held his face in his hands, giving it a dramatic flair. When they broke apart, they laughed some more.

“There’s definitely a Bible in here. We so could’ve used it.”

“You’re right. Damn it.”

“So that pact,” Tyler said. “We kinda did it in a way.”

“Nah. I told you we would get married for real.”

“You remember it?”

“Course I do,” Josh said. “But you know what? I don’t think we need one.”

“No?”

“Nah,” Josh said. “Call me crazy, but I want to do it for real one day.”

Tyler blinked slowly.

“I hope you’re not joking. I don’t think I can come back from that.”

Josh shook his head.

“I’m not. I mean come on, I gotta see you in a suit again.” He winked. “In all seriousness, there’s not anyone else I want to be with like that. It’s you or nothing.”

Tyler’s heart fluttered as Josh held his gaze.

“I thought relationships were overrated.”

“Not with you,” Josh said. “Even when I was dating someone, you were always my best relationship.”

Tyler’s heart was so full it could burst.

“So this wedding we’re gonna have one day…” he said. “What color scheme are we thinking?”

“I’m thinking red and blue,” Josh said. “But I’m totally open to suggestions.”

“I love that,” Tyler said. “And I love you.” Finally he could say the words at last. And it felt amazing. He felt on top of the world. Like he was soaring above the clouds throughout golden skies. He never wanted to come back down.

“I love you too,” Josh said back. “There’s only one non-negotiable.”

“What is it?”

“You gotta sing ‘Can’t Help Falling in Love’ at our wedding.”

“I think that’s fitting,” Tyler said. “I’ve always thought of it as our song.”

“Yeah? Is that why you couldn’t stop staring at me yesterday while you performed it?”

Tyler groaned and rolled over, hiding his face in embarrassment. Josh’s arms found their way around him again.

“Behave," Tyler said. “Or I’m making you drum at our wedding.”

“Are you kidding? I totally would.”

“Our wedding is going to be so awesome.”

“Of course it is. It’s ours.”

Ours.

Tyler thought it was the most beautiful word to ever exist.

Besides Josh’s name of course.