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  1. Still Life by

    Fandoms: Baldur's Gate (Video Games)  

    17 Oct 2025

    Tags
    Summary

    What happens when a wizard tries so hard to be respectful that he ends up fucking a statue of his boyfriend instead of his actual boyfriend?

    This. This happens.

    Gale is trying to be noble. Astarion is trying to get laid. Neither of them are using their words. Contains: Animate Objects used for purposes Mystra never intended, a full and frank discussion of consent while one party is still impaled on a magical dildo, and the discovery that communication is the ultimate aphrodisiac. (But the double penetration helps.)

    Written for Spooktober (Day 17 Living Statues) + Kinktober (Day 25 Double Penetration and Day 15 Object Insertion)
    Canon Compliance: Happens during canon and is canon-plausible, with the exception of how Animate Objects works. Just go with it.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    11,346
    Chapters:
    3/3
    Collections:
    2
    Comments:
    88
    Kudos:
    171
    Bookmarks:
    28
    Hits:
    1,983