ICanFixHim (pixel7777)
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- Baldur's Gate (Video Games) (27)
- MASH (TV) (1)
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Summary
Astarion was replanting weeds at midnight. His fiancé was sucking up to a childhood bully. The engagement party was in four days. Nothing was wrong. ...Except for the things that were. Starting with why he's more devastated by a pile of uprooted garden weeds than he ever was about killing people.
Or: Two idiots in love navigate polite society, academic bureaucracy, and their own insecurities to figure out what kind of life they actually want together.
Written for the BG3 Month of May Community Event Bring May Flowers 2026: Week 1 – In Bloom. “Weeds” keyword.
This is a sequel to Blind Spots but can be read as a standalone. Plausibly post-canon compliant, with some made-up magic and bending of 5e spellcasting rules.Series
- Part 2 of Shifting Perspectives
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Shelter In Place by ICanFixHim (pixel7777) for Elwing42
Fandoms: Baldur's Gate (Video Games)
16 Jan 2026
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Gale is a survivalist romance author who writes about love after the end of the world. He's a divorcee who has plans B through G for power failure, but no Plan A for getting laid. Astarion is a former artist who decided to winter in the northern Michigan lake house he got in his divorce. He's not exactly rural-winter ready. When a massive blizzard knocks out power across the community, Gale—seeing Astarion's dark McMansion—trudges through the blizzard to prevent his idiot neighbor from freezing to death, but they'll both keep each other warm in the end.
This low-stakes, cozy, modern, the-Ant-and-the-Grasshopper AU softens both Astarion's and Gale's traumatic pasts to gaslighting, controlling exes who leave them lonely until they discover their strange neighbor is a better fit than they had imagined.
Note: In case you are unfamiliar with the fable of the Ant and the Grasshopper, the Ant prepares for winter by working all summer, while the Grasshopper wastes the summer singing and having fun. In the oldest tellings, the Grasshopper gets cold and hungry in the winter and goes to the Ant for food and shelter, but the Ant scolds him and turns him away. In our version, of course, the Ant is a bit kinder 😉
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Banished from Tav’s good graces for being insufferable, Gale and Astarion drown their sorrows, play dress-up, and discover that maybe they weren’t competing for Tav's heart so much as auditioning for each other’s. Left unsupervised, they discover that silence really is golden, lace really does flatter everyone, and love really can be this stupid.
Reasonably Canon-Compliant for Act 2 - as usual, I bend some spellcasting rules.
Series
- Part 1 of Shifting Perspectives
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The Shadowcurse creeps into undead flesh like frost. Gale applies the most logical solution to save Astarion: full-body contact. For science. Obviously.
Gale can cuddle Astarion warm through their first night in the Shadow-Cursed Lands—but if he thinks he gets to save someone else while planning to sacrifice himself, Astarion has a few objections to make.
Canon compliance: Takes place in Act 2 just after arriving in the Shadow-cursed Lands and is mostly compliant except for the way the shadowcurse works (see notes)
Now with incredible fan art in Chapter 2 by the amazing Minui8!
See their Tumbler post here and give it some love: Art Post -
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What happens when a wizard tries so hard to be respectful that he ends up fucking a statue of his boyfriend instead of his actual boyfriend?
This. This happens.
Gale is trying to be noble. Astarion is trying to get laid. Neither of them are using their words. Contains: Animate Objects used for purposes Mystra never intended, a full and frank discussion of consent while one party is still impaled on a magical dildo, and the discovery that communication is the ultimate aphrodisiac. (But the double penetration helps.)
Written for Spooktober (Day 17 Living Statues) + Kinktober (Day 25 Double Penetration and Day 15 Object Insertion)
Canon Compliance: Happens during canon and is canon-plausible, with the exception of how Animate Objects works. Just go with it.
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Astarion meets the de-facto blow job queen of Blackstaff, an unassuming but popular grad student with the most luminous brown eyes.
Maybe one day he'll even unstop that pretty mouth long enough to get the guy's name.
Series
- Part 1 of Blowmance
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With the orb removed, Gale has become more powerful than ever. The house is alive, there are sparks flying everywhere, and in the middle of it all Astarion quickly finds himself bewitched.
- Language:
- English
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- 13,226
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
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- 73
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Bookmarked by ICanFixHim (pixel7777)
31 Jan 2025
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Bookmarker's Notes
Wonderful magical-realism meets BG3 take on a magical Gale and his magical house and Astarion caught up in all of it.