Chapter Text
Amy did tell everyone that Metal was her boyfriend. At least three times a day. Their responses ranged from Tails’ “I thought you two were already together,” Cream’s, “I’m so happy for you, Miss Amy!” and Knuckles’, “We get it, you’re in love. Can we move on now?” Amy had been worried that Sonic wouldn’t approve of their relationship because of his feelings about Metal, but to her surprise he greeted the initial message with a warm, “I’m so glad you finally found someone who loves you back, Ames. You deserve it.” Everyone was celebrating, but no one was nearly as happy as Amy was.
Now that Metal had said his first words he began to start speaking a little bit more. He usually spoke in only a few words instead of full sentences, and often just said his communication cards out loud. But he was doing it. He was talking. Every word he spoke seemed so important to Amy. Her attention clung to his voice as if nothing else mattered. She found that Metal preferred to look away from her when he talked, just like how he had turned her away in the chao garden. She didn’t care, of course, but it made her curious.
Amy had become even more affectionate with Metal now that they were together. She was always touching him in some way. Either they were holding hands, or she was curled up in his lap, or something. She often told him how much she loved him, or how cute he was. Metal’s internal computer fan would get really loud, and he would just stare at the ground.
He was very shy expressing affection through words himself, but every now and then he’d use a communication card that she didn’t know he had, and she would be the one overheating. “You’re so beautiful,” “Your eyes are so pretty,” “I love you,” and many other cards had started appearing out of nowhere. On the rare occasion Metal would speak to her out loud, she was a goner. Metal was not shy at all when it came to physical affection. He grabbed her hand, or pulled her close, or scooped her off her feet more often than not. She would just melt into him and close her eyes, forgetting about everything else for a while.
But there was still one thing they hadn’t done. As Metal held her close Amy’s eyes would drift up to the curved metal panel that rested where his mouth should be. She wanted to kiss him. She wanted to kiss him so badly it made her nervous. So, she didn’t kiss him. She just let her head fall back onto his chest. She could always try again later.
Not that kissing was the only thing she was curious about. Now that Metal had started to speak, and now that the two of them were much closer, she decided to ask the question that had been left unanswered for all these months.
“What really happened with Eggman?” Amy asked softly, looking up at Metal from where she lay on his lap.
Metal turned to look into her eyes, but only response with silence.
“I can tell it’s hard for you to talk about, but I want to know. It might help me understand what you’re going through better.”
Metal gave her a pat on the head. After a moment he said, “Hard to explain.”
Amy nodded. “That’s okay. But you know, you don’t have to have it all figured out right now. I don’t mind hearing your story, even if it’s confusing.”
After another long pause Metal finally said, “I can’t.”
Amy reached up and took his chin in her hand, stroking the cool metal with her thumb. “Is there something we could do to make it easier for you, or help you work up to it?”
“Love me,” he said.
“Love you?” Amy replied, a smile forming on her face. “Well, I’d be doing that anyway, you know?”
Metal pulled Amy closer to him, pressing her against his mechanical body. His grip felt stronger than usual as he buried his face in her neck. The grip his hands had on her arm and on her shoulder was almost painful, but Amy expressed no signs of discomfort. Something felt off. She couldn’t explain why, but she wanted to be sure it wasn’t just in her head.
“Are you okay?” she asked quietly.
Metal shook his head. Amy began to tighten her grip on him as well, as if trying to pull him even closer.
“What’s wrong?”
For a long time, Metal provided no response. Amy didn’t push him. She continued to hold him close, wondering what could possibly be going on in his mind. Eventually, his grip began to loosen. Amy pulled away slightly and sat up, although she remained on his lap. He leaned forward and reached for a piece of paper and a pen from the table in front of them. Although he almost never wrote anymore, Amy always made sure they were handy.
She watched in horror as he formed the words “I cannot cry.” It was enough to bring tears to her own eyes.
“What do you mean? You can’t cry? Do you feel like crying?” Metal nodded in response.
Amy threw herself back into his arms. “What is it, sweetheart? Was it me? Did I trigger you? I wasn’t trying to.”
Metal frantically shook his head. He reached forward again for the pen and paper, and this time Amy had to hold on to him to keep herself from falling off the couch.
“I feel like crying a lot.”
“But I couldn’t tell,” she realized. “Oh, I feel so horrible Metal!” Amy’s soft crying suddenly turned into loud sobbing. Metal pulled her close to him once again. She buried her face against his shoulder. He just caressed the back of her head with his hand.
Amy cried until she couldn’t cry anymore. Despite everything, it felt so nice to release all of her emotions like that as he held her close and comforted her. But as she finally began to catch her breath again, she started to feel self-conscious. She was supposed to be the one comforting him! Instead, she had started breaking down herself.
She sat up and wiped her face with her glove. “I’m sorry. I don’t know why I did that.”
Metal took her face in his hand. “Thank you.”
Amy’s eyes fluttered in surprise. “Thank you? For what? Getting snot all over you?”
Metal shook his head. “Crying. For me.”
“Oh,” was all Amy could reply. “Do you feel better, at least?”
Metal nodded.
“I’m pretty sure you have a card you can use to tell me when you’re sad,” Amy said. “If not, we can make you one.”
Metal shook his head.
“What do you mean, no? Do you not want me to know when you’re sad?”
Metal shook his head again.
“But.. darling,” Amy replied, taking his hand in hers. “I don’t want you to suffer alone. It’s okay to be sad. You don’t even have to tell me why.” Metal didn’t reply, so she continued. “I don’t just want to be your girlfriend because I like to hold your hand. I’m so in love with you, and I want to be there for you. I want to understand what you’re going through. I want to be part of it. Even after all this time I still don’t feel like I know you at all.”
The soft sound of Metal’s computer fans reached Amy’s ears. But he didn’t look at the ground. He looked straight into her eyes.
“I’m glad your still alive,” he said. Amy just laughed.
“Of course I’m still alive, silly!” she said. But she sensed no amusement from Metal. He was being serious. She furrowed her brow. “I mean, why wouldn’t I be?”
Metal offered no answer to this question. Instead, he just brushed her quills out of her face.
“You’re cute, but you say the strangest things sometimes,” Amy said. “You know, maybe you should try keeping a journal. It’s a nice way to get your thoughts out without having to talk to someone. I have plenty of them for you to borrow, if you don’t mind pink that is. I have this bad habit of buying cute diaries but never using them.”
“Pink is my favorite color.”
Amy and Metal quickly fell back into their usual rhythm. As their conversation went on Metal began to talk less and less. It wasn’t abnormal for him to shut down after talking for too long, but Amy assumed the practice was good for him. Eventually she was faced with the dreaded “I am low on battery and need to charge” card, cuing the two of them to make their way back to Tails’ workshop.
Metal almost never spoke outside of Amy’s house. It was very clear that he was only comfortable talking to her. While it made her feel special, it also worried her. She didn’t want him to be dependent on her. She wanted him to be able to do things himself. Once they got together both Metal and Tails had stopped talking about plans for him to move out. It was a bit discouraging.
After Amy had dropped Metal off at Tails’ workshop she began her trek back home. As lonely as she had been before she became close with Metal, she wasn’t sure she had ever felt as alone as she did now on a regular basis. Her heart longed to be with him all the time. If she had her way she would be glued to his side forever. Nothing else caught her interest as she walked. Nothing but the flower bushes scatted along the edge of the sidewalk. Metal loved flowers.
But as she thought about him, her mind drifted somewhere else. The more Metal expressed himself, the stranger his words started to be. “I’m glad you’re still alive” rang in the back of her head, even now. As she arrived at her house she grabbed a diary from her unused collection in her bedroom and wrote the phrase down. She wrote down everything she could remember him saying that had struck her as odd.
After she finished she just stared at the words she had written in glittery red ink on the cute, pink paper. She stared as if she believed just looking at the words would bring her the answers she sought. Instead, it only confused her more.
I’m no good at solving puzzles, she lamented. Maybe I should show this to the Chaotix. They’re detectives. But maybe not. Metal said these things to me. I don’t know if he would be comfortable if I told the Chaotix. I don’t want to go behind his back.
Finally, Amy gave up. She closed the diary and put it back on the shelf. Maybe tomorrow’s conversation will provide her with the missing piece of her puzzle. A word that would tie things like “I am really Sonic the Hedgehog,” and “I’m glad you’re still alive” together. Some explanation for “my memory is not fully intact,” or “I left Eggman.”
As Amy’s head hit her pillow she remembered her conversation with Sonic. “The guy thinks he’s me, Amy! That’s kind of a problem.” She had responded by reminding Sonic that they didn’t know for sure that Metal still believed that. Clearly he did. She knew that now. She had known it for a while. But what did it mean? If he still thought Sonic was a fake, and still disliked him as much as Sonic seemed to think he did, then why didn’t Metal try to attack him? The only time he had shown any hostility towards Sonic was during the volleyball incident. But Metal had attacked Knuckles first. He only attacked Sonic because Sonic was defending Knuckles. He had only attacked Knuckles because he thought Amy was in danger.
If Metal thought he was Sonic, who did he think Sonic was? She could add that to the list of questions she couldn’t ask. A moment of panic struck her as she wondered if this was part of some plot against her or Sonic. It would be a good explanation as to why the story didn’t add up. Eggman’s lies never did. But she pushed the thoughts away. Metal really did want to change for the better, and he really did love her. Her intuition rarely failed her. She would find an explanation. She had to.