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Where is Kyryll? He thought looking around. Everyone was in high spirits, enjoying a well-deserved drink and a chat with comrades after a tough battle. Defeating Rerir wasn’t an easy task, and he knew everyone needed time to recover and recharge in their own way, but he couldn’t help but miss Flins. His drinking buddy probably went back to the lighthouse in the Final Night Cemetery, and he decided to pay him a visit after the celebration.
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By the time Varka reached the lighthouse, dawn was breaking. He knocked on the door expecting Flins to open pretending to just have woken up like he used to, and when no one came to greet him, something in his stomach turned.
“Kyryll?... Are you there?” Varka called knocking again, a little harder this time. His heart started beating faster and the feeling in his stomach heightened but a faint sound brought him some relief. After a few moments the door opened slightly, and well-known eyes looked at the knight.
“Grand Master… what brings you here in this fine day?” Flins asked in a monotone voice, without quite meeting his gaze. Varka thought the lightkeeper would invite him in, but he didn’t open the door completely and stayed behind it. Suspicious.
“Uh… I didn’t see you last night at the Flagship for the celebration…” the knight started “Wait, you won’t let me in?” he asked with a laugh. The lightkeeper only closed his eyes.
“Of course, where are my manners. I apologize, Sir Varka.” sighing, Flins opened the door and moved to let Varka inside the lighthouse. A faint limp and a grimace from the other man set off alarm bells in the knight’s mind. “Would you like to join me for some tea? Or would you like something else to drink?” the lightkeeper asked with a smile too polite for the friendship they had while limping to the kitchenette to start making tea. Varka just watched him. Maybe he has someone over and I’m imposing. I should keep it short and leave soon.
For some reason, the thought left a bitter taste in Varka’s mouth.
“No, don’t worry about that. I just wanted to check on you and see how you were doing since you didn’t show up last night” Varka said with a smile that didn’t reach his eyes. Flins was his friend so why did he start behaving differently after thinking he had a… lover? He shook his head and decided to try and swallow the lump in his throat. “Well, I should get going. Need to start some preparations for the next mission I’m planning with my Knights.” he said with a cheerfulness he didn’t feel. He didn’t have anything to do, but any excuse to get out of there was good if Flins had company.
“Right…” Flins sighed again “When are you departing, if I may ask?” his golden eyes finally met Varka’s sapphire ones. The knight’s heart skipped a beat.
“Uh… next week... probably. Haven’t decided the day yet.” Varka answered stroking his chin. The weight of the lightkeeper’s gaze made him avert his own. With a nod, Flins turned to reach the cabinet and get a cup for his tea. “I’ll let you know before leaving, of course, Flins!” he laughed while looking to the door.
“Varka” Flins’s voice came out low, almost weak. Varka’s heart started pounding in his chest. There were only many times the lightkeeper called simply his name. He looked at the bathroom door discreetly. It was open. Maybe he’s alone. Maybe he doesn’t want me to go. Am I allowed to hope? …Why am I thinking this now?
“Yes, Kyryll?” Varka walked slowly to stand behind Flins.
“I…” Flins started. But suddenly he dropped his cup and grabbed his side with a hand. Varka reached for him and prevented his fall, noticing the sweat that pearled his brow and a wince the lightkeeper couldn’t hide.
“Kyryll, what’s wrong?” the weird feeling in Varka’s stomach came back tenfold, and the knight gulped while trying to help Flins to his bed. From close, Varka could notice the labored breath and the abnormal red color in the corner of the lightkeeper’s lips. After putting him on his bed, Varka noticed a darker purple in some parts of Flins’s uniform. “You were injured in battle and said nothing?!” Varka could feel his anger rise.
“I’m sorry I didn’t say anything, Varka, but…” Flins smiled weakly “I thought I had more time…” his breaths were slow and shallow.
“What do you mean?” Varka felt his chest constrict and his breath hurry. “What do you mean you thought you had more time?” a lump started forming in his throat.
“Let me… finish, please” Flins’s eyes looked tired, and their shine was slowly dimming. Varka nodded rapidly and he continued “I thought I had more time… since my life was supposed to be so long…” Varka bit his cheek until he could taste blood to prevent himself from speaking. “I wanted to go on a date with you… maybe… we could be lovers… I didn’t expect to get injured this badly…” a mild laugh left his lips, and the knight could see a small trail of blood start falling from the seam of his lips. Flins closed his eyes and couldn’t hide his painful expression anymore.
“Kyryll, there has to be a way…” Varka, for the first time since arriving, noticed the lightkeepers lamp on the bedside table. The flame was shrinking; its light was dimming. Tears began to gather in the knight’s eyes. “There must be something we can do…” a soft sob was followed by another and another. This can’t be happening… this can’t be happening… this can’t be happening… this can’t…
“I’m sorry for… hurting you like this Varka… I really thought… I had more time…” Flins opened his eyes and lifted his hand to caress Varka’s cheek.
“Kyryll” Varka tried to swallow the lump in his throat and smile for Flins one last time “We’ll get you better and we’ll go on that date… I want to be your lover. I do, really” the tears were flowing freely on Varka’s cheeks. He hugged Flins and kissed his cold lips.
“I love you, Varka… live a good life, will you?” the lamp the lamp the lamp the lamp the lamp the lamp
“I… I love you too… Kyryll” I can’t look I won’t look this isn’t happening the lamp the flame my light my light my light
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“Grand Master” tired blue eyes met the brown eyes of the knight that stood at the door of the office. He was let in with a nod. The knight walked to the desk to deliver a letter and excused himself. The letter had a wax seal; one she hadn’t seen in a long time.
Jean’s lips couldn’t hold the sigh after opening the letter and reading its contents. She called a knight and asked her to send for a few former knights and some captains. She thought of Razor and Rosaria, but he must have contacted them too, or he would have asked her to in the letter.
Reuniting them all would take some time, so Jean decided to visit Varka before the arranged meeting.
“Grand Master Varka” Jean greeted Varka with the Knights of Favonius salute, to give him a tight hug right after. He smiled though the smile didn’t quite reach his eyes.
“Jean, you’re the Grand Master now. I’m just Varka” he said with a small laugh. Jean wondered, not for the first time, what happened to the Varka that laughed loudly and freely.
“You will always be the Grand Master” she said with a smile. “Varka…” she started and for the first time noticed the white hair, the wrinkles, the tired and dull eyes. He looked so old, so devoid of life. “May I ask you a question?”
“Of course. I’ll do my best to answer truthfully.” Varka said with a hand on his chest. The gesture looked so alien coming from him, just like the polite smile and the small laugh.
“I… I know this is not easy to talk about but… what happened before you came back from Nod Krai?” she knew that wasn’t an easy topic for Varka. Every time someone asked him about it, he just smiled politely and said that it was an experience to remember. Not even the knights that came back with him knew exactly what happened to their Grand Master.
“I guess it’s not bad to talk about it now, since I’m reuniting with him soon. And I told you I’d answer truthfully.” Varka said with a hand on his beard. “In that far away land I met the love of my life. But some time before coming back from Nod Krai, I lost him.” He said with a mild smile, like reminiscing.
“The… love of your life?” Jean asked, trying to keep the shock from her words. Everyone thought the Grand Master was married to his job, to Mondstadt, to his duty. But to think he loved and lost someone was… something entirely different.
“His name was Kyryll Chudomirovich Flins” he continued “He was the most beautiful, wonderful being I’ve ever met…” Varka had a faraway look, and small tears started to pool in his eyes. “Sadly, I didn’t know I was in love with him until a few moments before I lost him. When his light went out, I knew my heart was gone with him” a lonely tear ran through wrinkled cheeks. “He was in love with me too” he smiled.
And for the first time in years, his smile reached his eyes and the dimmed blue turned into a bright sapphire.