Chapter Text
they enter the club
its beautifully and looks kinda likr barbies dream house but like EVIL. and for VILLAINS.
but still with sparkles and glitter and like totally woke anti batman propaganda
and dick are wowed they run off to join the drag 🤩
tim goes to food bar for coffee because HE IS GOING INTO CAFFIENE WITHDRAWALSz
Joker but jokerista the bonita is at the stage and doing a drag walk while sending terrorist threats to the fbi she is wearibg a gorgeous like purble and red with the blood of her enemies etc dress.
two facr is being harveyuh dent and trinomial face and her outfit looks like beautiful homophobia 💛🩵
kamala is standing at the back watching in speechless awe
she is like wowed out
more wowed than when she saw crow boy and plastic girl and thr juggling gif on tumblur
then a huge spotlight goes on tim as he goes to the food bar and takes a cup of like shrimp ice whatever rich people eat 💰 🍤
triface yells at tim "yo lil fucking bitch yoy CANTT HAVE SHRIMP YE IDIOT."
alfred makes blubbering british noises trying to comfort tim jim on comms
"oi oi oi oi oi bu bu bu bu labububu." he says very britishly 🇬🇧🇬🇧
Tim screams. HE DOES NOT WANT TO HEAR about aaalfred'z 24K GOLD LABUBUBU.
so he throws his comms acceoss the room and alfred despawns and the comm smashes and oh noour
the dr freeze picks him up but its victoria instead of victor because he does drag too!!
"TIM drake is coming with me to the convience store so i can buy more korean beauty makeup." Victoria says to TRINOMIAL Faace.
fx - 2cy + 67x2 is one HOT trinomial 😻😻😻
"was SHEIN closed?" Tim asks. He stares Victorus freezie dead in the eye with his ice cold soulless blueberry blue eyes.
"shein doesn't ship to goth ham. 🗣️🔥" victoria says
she is wearing a blue ball gown over her freeze mechana suit
and a big pink bow on her head glass dome with a blond wig that looks like it's levitating because the glass.
then she shoots tim with ice and he becomes an ice block from frozen
(na na na hey na na nai nai naaa)
Tim's teeth are chattering.
"STOP. SHIVERING. TIm!!!" Mistress freeze says
and she throws tim on a comically large sleigh for ice block transport . tim is suprised he hasn't like died from ice poisoning.. ice tetanus?? yet.
tim thinks the ice tetanus is getting to his brain.
He cries.
"ITs way colder in canadia , tim. you wouldn't last 50 seconds there. you'd freeze into a timsicle."
"NOOOOO." Tim tries to yell inside his ice block. but his voice is sooo muffled. He feels so much like Mariah Carey before she defrosts every year on november first.
He honestly thinks he can hear Mariah Carey.
"canadia doesn't even use FAHRENHEIT. they use ceeelsiusssss." victoria says, staring at tim
"wtf is a kilometre." tim agrees from his ice block home
they start sleighing away and break out of yhr clurb with a SMASH. ice everywhere!!
and goth ham is frozen. maybe victoria should call herself elsiya.
6 or 7 magical reindeer pop in and whisk them up like
"hey bozos we're here for you. we're all women btw. reindeer feminism!!!"
and they take then to victorias ice castle aka garage.
"now, back to making u intoa timsicle.."
Victoria opens a huge freezer like she has everywhere and pulls out a bag of frozen shrimp
"SOON. yuo will be just like the shrimp. 🦐 " she says and does an evil laugh muahhahah
Tim is well educated on consent. It seems, Victoria Fries is not.
Tim should tell a trusted adult.
"I DONT WANT TO! YOU NEED NY VERIFIED CONSENT TO MAKE ME A TIMSICLE!!"
victoria freeze laughs.
"silly me. i'm making you into a tim shaped chia pet with poison ivy's help."
Tim lools bewilderdly at the chia pet next to him. He stares, squinting. The ice cell of his makes it hard to see?' but wait is that BOB DYLAN? no wait.. BOB ROSS???
"No.... bob ross??" he gasps, officially terrified.
bob ross is his IDOL. the BEST painter.
he starts shaking. he'd like to think that this is a shrimp induced seizure but no. ITS BRCAUSE HE WILL VERY SOON BECOME A TIM-SHAPED CHIA PET.
and wait. DONT PEOPLE EAT CHIA!???? they put CHIA IN SMOOTHIES.
BRUCE DRINKS CHIA SMOOTHIES. so does DICK.
TIM DOES NOT WANT TO BE EATEN. or DRINKED. IN. a SMOOTHIE NO LESS.
the situation is dire. he wishes he hadnt thrown his labububu comms away.
plus the temperatur is going down
70 fahrenheit..
..69 fahrenheit
68 fartenheit...
67...
suddenly.
he remembers the necklace brucr gave him after he got likr shot in the neck bruce gave him a necklace old people get so they like click it when in dire situations like A SHRIMP SEIZURE. 🦐
but its a chia seizure 🌱 🪴
his fingers are like frozen ice but he still reaches through his ice block prison to tap the button
and he yelle
"PROTOCOL BUBUBUBU 9."