Chapter Text
"Hold it steady, Clem."
Some people at the motel would call his voice annoying and loud.
She didn't mind it too much.
"You see... this."
His finger traced a large metal tube. That twisted and curled into a large metal block.
"This is your main suspension. Without it you won't get far and worse, if its broke, then..." His voice strained as he twisted the tool in his hand, his mustached face scrunching in focus. "It'll make everything else crap out."
"Swear."
She held the flashlight in her hand firmly. Feeling as tiny pebbles on the asphalt poked her back as she lay underneath the RV.
"Sorry, Darlin'." He apologized softly, "Don't go tellin' Lee I cursed around you." He smiled as his right hand retracted from the mess of tubes and wires they had been inside. Skin covered in dark grease. "Now hand me the socket wrench."
She rolled on her shoulder digging into the tool box they had brought under the large vehicle. Having taught her what each tool was made it easier for her to grab the appropriate one.
She handed it and he took it gently.
"Thank you. I'll tell ya, I should have Duck doing this." He shook his head, "That boy... you can shake a bee hive and they'd be calmer."
She let out a small laugh.
And he let out a chuckle.
"Still better that you're here to see this. Eventually when we're too old to do anything it'll be you having to do this." He playfully swiped his grease covered hand across her left cheek. "You'll be a regular grease monkey by the time we get this finished."
And she would have to admit, this was interesting.
Better than kicking the soccer ball around with no one to play with.
"Here. We need four hands for this." He nudged her shoulder.
And she nodded.
He placed his hands on the wrench ready to twist, gently persuading her to lay hers on the end next to him.
The thin flashlight she had, with no hand to hold, clamped between her teeth.
"On three, just one big push to get the first thread loose."
One.
Two.
Three.
.
"..."
She stared. Blinking once, twice. He was still there. Different from before but unmistakably him. His moustache now a full beard. Long, streaks of gray layered beneath. His face that had been twisted with suspicion, faltered as his gaze lowered.
Brown eyes spotting her.
Shooting back to the group behind.
And then back to her.
The rifle lost weight.
Barrel dropping.
"Clementine?"
For a second, neither of them trusted their own eyes. Standing right in front of each other. The last ties they had to what was.
Even in pain, still covered in the grossness that accompanied almost every action. She ran holding onto the back of his coat tight. The side of her head pressed against his abdomen. And his left hand pressed gently on the other side.
Thumb caressing softly.
Tension in his body leaving.
Almost entirely.
"It's really you."
He whispered. The hug broke as he kneeled, looking her in the face.
Scanning.
The dried blood.
The bruise beneath her right eye.
His right hand dropped the rifle, going to gently tug at her left forearm.
She flinched, letting out a small hiss of pain.
He picked it up immediately.
Looking over her shoulder. To the group, then at Matthew and Walter.
Disregarding the last to, he looked into her eyes.
"These people with you?"
She gave a sharp but slow nod. And Kenny kept his eyes on hers, before he nodded himself. Standing upright he threw a thumb over his shoulder.
"We can talk inside."
The tension drained another man, who clasped his hands tenderly in front of his chest gave a large smile. "Great. I just started dinner."
Carlos looked to Sarah, "Are you sure you don't mind?"
The kind man gently reassured the entire group, "Please. It'll storm soon. Come on in."
"Thank you."
With Carlos's acknowledgement, the group moved. Kenny led them inside. She walked beside the only man there she truly trusted. One that Lee did as well.
"Clem, are you alright?" Kenny spoke as they walked towards the set of glass doors.
She wished she could just say yes.
But her arm throbbed incessantly and she was tired.
Part of her hands decorated with scratches, burning.
"..." She didn't answer right away but eventually, "I've been better." admitting it, she saw him nod in response.
"Yeah, me too."
He still gave her a grin.
Just as the doors opened, it was like night and day. Clem didn't know just how cold it had been outside until the warmth of the lodge's interior escaped the opening. An involuntary shiver radiated down her spine.
The man who had been leading them, stepped forward he was larger in the stomach than most but not by a big amount. His hair had already grayed, shown by the subtle stubble coating his chin and the sides of his head.
Bald on top but he held a very kind smile.
Elated even as Matthew walked beside him.
The man focused on her in particular.
"Kenny and Sarita have been staying with us for several weeks. Used to be a ski lodge, obviously, so we have plenty of food. And believe it or not, we still get some power from that wind turbine out front. We tend to keep most of the lights off at night to avoid drawing attention."
He explained but contrary to his words the entire lodge was lit with extremely bright lights. Christmas lights. Varying in color from white, red, green.
Past Christmas's her dad would hang a bundle of purple lights.
She always liked those.
The centerpiece of the entire lodge was the large tree that easily reached the second floor in height.
This was a beacon for most people.
"But after we found this stuff in storage, we couldn't resist making an exception."
Kenny nudged her shoulder as the man turned his back. One hand raised to make a blabbing motion with his hand. She had to cover her mouth to stifle the laugh.
That got his attention, with Matthew sighing holding his head, as the man remained oblivious.
"What's so funny?"
Kenny chuckled, climbing the stairs until he stood with the man, "Oh nothing Walt." He clapped the man on his back before introducing Walt. "Walter here is one smart son of a bitch. Makes a mean can of beans too." He then gestured to Matthew, "You've met him already but Matthew’s our forager. Does the hunting mostly."
Matthew shook his head.
"I do what I can. I like being out here, It's peaceful up here when you don't have the dead around you."
Walter patting Kenny back, nodded his head towards Clem.
"Well, why don't you two catch up while I get some dinner started?"
Kenny gave a smile, one that faded slightly as the rest of the group came in. Walter spotting them was no less cheery than he was before.
"Please, make yourselves at home. You can leave your things over there."
Walter gestured to the bench, right beside the door. His eyes focused on the rifles they were carrying and pistols tucked at their sides.
Rebecca's face twisted something ugly, "The hell we will."
Alvin tried to calm her, "Becca' come on." He pressed gently.
She was among the only ones refusing, Nick held the rifle in his hands but did not speak. Glancing upward at Kenny and Matthew who held their own guns. Luke's teeth barred with uncomfortable tension, setting his teeth on edge.
Hands raised his mediation were falling on deaf ears.
"You're our guests here. There's no need to worry."
Walter too tried to ease the cautions of the group.
Nick had found his nerve to speak, "Tell them to put their guns down then."
"Kenny?" Walter looked to the man, raising an eyebrow.
Kenny's jaw clenched slightly, eyes narrowing on Nick. Then he looked at her.
Clem met the stare when he asked.
"Will you vouch for these people, Clem? If you tell me they're good, then I'm good."
"Us? You were the one wavin' a gun around, man."
"We're cool, okay? Hey, hey, we're cool, we're cool."
The voices of Luke and Nick did not matter to the man, he only asked again.
"Clementine?"
She looked at them. In the past five days things had gotten better between them. Rebecca in particular. No longer was the woman at her throat, but what happened earlier? She wouldn't trust Nick with a gun, not now, and not even before.
"I can't speak for everyone."
Giving an answer, she grit her teeth. Kenny's grip on his rifle didn't lessen and despite Luke pressing onto his group they did not cooperate.
"Bec, it's their home. We're not gonna find another place like this tonight." Alvin like Luke wanted the group to at the very least listen. His eyes filled with concern, not just for Rebecca but the bump of her stomach. So concerned that his back faced the rifles of the Lodge group, so that if any bullets were to fly.
It would be him to take the brunt.
The late arrivals of Sarah, Carlos, and the woman Kenny had been standing close to entered.
With glee Sarah's eyes were drawn to the sparkling lights above. To the tree, her smile large, she tugged at Carlos's sleeve. "Dad! Look they have a Christmas tree."
But Carlos being perceptive, lightly calmed her, "Not now, Sarah."
The woman with them gave a smile that fit her pretty face and darker colored skin. "Isn't it great? We found all of this in storage."
"It's amazing."
Sarah's awe, drew Kenny's attention. The man looked at the girl, flickering to Clem, then to the woman standing with Carlos. The woman met his eyes. They looked and Kenny's hold on the rifle fell. Matthew wasn't blind to this, dropping his own.
Kenny was the first to walk down the steps, onto the foyer resting the gun near the bench, propped up against the wall.
Matthew just a step behind, adding a combat knife to the collection as well.
With the first steps taken by them, the rest followed suit pistols unholstered and rifles laying flat on the bench. Bags dropped, essentially stripped naked of what made survival, survival.
Clem kept an eye on the weapons as they were lowered and dropped. And she reached for the gun she kept hidden, but checked herself. Her hand hovered near the small of her back. A small twitch in her finger as it brushed against the grip.
But it did not grab, she couldn't part with it.
Someone needed to be prepared.
Her hand fell back to her side with nothing to hold.
She did give one appeasement, letting her backpack slip off her shoulders sitting it underneath the bench safely.
"Good. If you'll all follow me, I'll show you where you can sleep" Happy at the lack of weapons and the tension easing, the woman gathered the group leading them upstairs. Luke groaning from the wound on his shoulder was tended by Carlos as they walked.
She stood in place. Watching as they left one by one, not missing the Luke glancing her way for a second.
He was the only one who knew she still had a gun.
But didn't say anything about it.
She silently thanked him for it.
Kenny placed a hand on his shoulder, throwing his head over his shoulder, his line of sight caller her towards the fireplace resting area. She followed after him, there was something different in the way he walked without the rifle.
Was it different from before?
That was so long ago.
Probably not.
He was acting just the same, if only a little different because it had been a while.
Sitting on the Sofa, just a cushion away from Kenny. They sat in silence, baking in the heat of the fireplace and its warm glow.
A tiny amount of shock in Kenny's face as every injury, every blemish was now easier. His jaw tightened before his features smoothed, "Still wearing this dirty old thing huh?" He pinched the bill of her hat pressing on it lightly. He grinned, "You know, I half-expected to see Lee walk up next to you. You guys were like two peas in a pod."
Her face fell before she could stop it, with Kenny in front of her, it was almost impossible not think about what was. How had it been. She missed it, sometimes hoping everything after was only a dream.
It also reminded her of the truth.
"Oh, shit, I didn't mean to... It's just hard not to think about it, you know?" Kenny panicked slightly holding up his hands.
"I got him killed."
It was different from how she told Luke. The man was nice but he had no idea what it really meant. He could give her sympathy but unlike him, Kenny also knew Lee.
Kenny shook his head, fast, he didn't think about how to respond. "Aw, darlin' don't say that. I know that ain't true. He made a choice, same as the rest of us."
"I ran away." Her head fell, crying from pain was one thing. But she didn't like the feeling of her eyes getting wet. "I got him bit."
"Clem." Kenny's rough hand held her shoulders. He paused.
"If I didn't run away. He wouldn't have gotten bit. We..." Feeling a tear roll down her cheek, "We could have left."
She should've known.
No, she knew.
Even back then.
Seeing Crawford, everything should have clicked.
She knew better.
He told her to stay.
And she didn’t.
Kenny bit his lip, he could not tell her she was free of fault. Not because he didn't want to, He knew that nothing he said would change what she believed.
"Clementine." He began softly, "I've fucked up, a lot. Still do... but..."
She couldn't let him finish, the words left before he could console her.
"I shot him."
The air went dead silent.
Kenny didn't flinch, his eyes softened but his hand on her shoulder didn't leave.
"When my son... Lee took care of him. I'll never forget that." Kenny closed his eyes, "I didn't do it myself, couldn't. So I can't imagine how it felt." A short huff of air, Kenny took hold of her injured arm. Pushing the sleeve back.
The gauze that had been covering it was gone.
He saw the stitches.
The large wound that took up most of the limb.
His thumb pressed onto the edges and she sucked in a small hiss of air.
He let out a sharp exhale.
Clem's tears were slow but didn't disappear as Kenny inspected. His gaze captured even the small numerous scars.
"Where were you?"
She asked.
She was there for so long.
In the streets.
Alone.
Just where was he?
"Christa got in a hell of a mess. I gave her a hand, and then it got messier. For a minute there, it wasn't lookin' too good for old Kenny." The older man scratched below his ear. "I wandered after that, South Carolina, Tennessee, kind of started to lose track of where I was actually going."
"How'd you get out of Savannah?"
She had been covered in their blood. Roamed with them, sometimes she could still smell them.
His jaw clenched and he gnawed on his bottom lip slightly, "Don't know myself." In his eyes a flicker of irritation, "I got lucky. That's what I say."
It wasn't a real answer.
Both knew it but neither pressed the conversation onward.
Instead, "So where'd you end up?"
By now his hands left her arm and instead focused on her face.
He noticed a yellowing just below her left eye had yet to fade.
"Christa and Omid found me, they..."
Her voice fell.
"They're gone now."
All it took was a single moment.
Kenny nodded, "Sounds like it ain't been easy for you. I'm sorry, darlin'. I wish I coulda found you sooner." He pulled his hands away, he looked her in the eyes like he was certain. "But, I ain't gonna let something like that happen again."
She almost found herself believing it.
Wanted to.
"You two catching up?" The woman who she had yet to know the name of stood behind Kenny. Leaning down placing a tender kiss on his cheek.
The man gave a pleased nod, "Clem, this is my girl, Sarita. Ain't she beautiful?"
Clem tried to put on her best smile.
Sarita rolled her eyes, "Nice to meet you, Clementine."
Sarita's left arm draped over his shoulders.
Kenny's right hand placed on hers.
She noticed just how large Kenny's smile was.
Far from what she remembered.
Some things were different.