Chapter Text
Varka had only been back three days and some of the knights had already noticed the Grand Master's concerning behavior. He did well in hiding it–Laughed and joked with his knights and seemed almost exactly the same as before he left. However, those who saw him day to day, noticed the underlying melancholy in his eyes. The genuine smiles strained by sadness. Something had occurred in Nod-Krai. Something the man had failed to mention in his reports.
Jean and Lisa had combed over every page of the reports written by the knights that were on the expedition. Nothing stood out to the two women. Everything Varka was involved in that happened in the north was matters they knew the Grand Master could handle. The only conclusion they could draw with so little evidence present, was that this was most likely a matter that Varka kept private and out of sight of his knights.
"Any luck on your end?" Closing the door behind him, Kaeya walks up to Jean, who is at her desk, well Varka's desk now that he had returned but had yet to reclaim his office. Lisa had left for her library saying she needed to research something involving the current conundrum and would return as soon as she could.
"No, nothing new has stood out to me nor have any of the knights mentioned anything regarding his behavior. I have half a mind to believe they haven't even noticed or know and are tight lipped about it. Which makes me want to drop this entire debacle because it's starting to feel invasive to his privacy." Jean laments as she places her head in her hands.
Kaeya sighs and crosses his arms. "I got him drunk last night." Even though Jean does not condone Kaeya's scheming to get Varka to talk, she nevertheless perks up at the thought of Varka's tongue potentially getting loose with wine. "Apparently not drunk enough. I didn't get anything useful from him."
"What did he talk about then?"
"Things that we've already heard about in the reports. Also talked about his experiences in the city and the other islands he visited. He seems to be taken with Nod-Krai, maybe I should pay a visit to the area for a vacation." The blue haired man chuckled. "Although, sometimes when I got him talking about something benign to me, he would get quiet and get this far away look in his eyes." The frustration and confusion clear in Kaeya’s voice.
"Hopefully this will pass as he gets reacclimated to Mondstadt. Afterall, he was there quite awhile. All the knights have been adjusting to life back home. His adjustment might just take a little longer than them." Although Jean was not confident in that outcome at all.
"Maybe he can't forgive himself for returning without some of my horses." Jean rolls her eyes at Kaeya and was about to ask how Albedo was doing when a quiet knock stopped her in her tracks. "Come in."
Mika pokes his blond head in. "Sorry Master Jean, am I interrupting? I can come back later." The boy was already proceeding to pull back and close the door.
"No, of course not, you're here to bring the updated topographic map of Nod-Krai correct?"
"Y-yes, I just finished it an hour ago." Mika walks towards the desk, pulling the map out of his brown journal and handing it to Jean.
"Thank you, Mika. I'll have Lisa update our map records of Nod-Krai." Realizing something, she blurts out without a second thought. "Mika, have you noticed Varka acting strange lately?"
Startled by her sudden question, the young man fumbles and drops his journal before he could secure it to his back. "W-what? I don't, I don't think so? He seems about the same as always, to me at least. What do you mean by strange? I-I can keep an eye on him for you, if you'd like?" Smiling unsurely he adds, "I mean, as long as I don't have to sneak around or anything. You know how terrible I am at that, haha."
"No no. Thank you for offering. I just meant strange as in more somber. The man just seems more....distressed than I thought he'd be, seeing as he's finally returned to his homeland."
"And with some of my horses missing. He has yet to tell me what even happened to them." Kaeya chimes in dramatically, leaning against the bars in front of the bookshelves. Mika chuckles awkwardly and leans down to pick up his journal. "Well I'd assume that may have to do with him missing Mr. Flins a whole lot." He remarks with a thoughtful look on his face
"Flins?" Jean and Kaeya both question at the same time. Mika's head snaps up, blue eyes growing wide and moving frantically back and forth between the two older knights. "You don't....oh archons I shouldn't have said anything." Panic settling in, he finally straps the journal to his back, looking ready to bolt for the door.
"Who's Flins?" Kaeya presses, clearly not going to let this go now that he has something substantial. "I-I, If he didn't tell you guys, I don't think it's my place to share anything. Apologies Master Jean and Captain Kaeya."
"No need to apologize Mika, you haven't done anything wrong. Kaeya shouldn't have pressured you. I agree that we should respect Varka's privacy and wait for him to tell us if he wants to. As long as it's not affecting his duties as our Grand Master."
At that declaration, relief washes over the blond boy’s face, He bids them farewell and leaves quickly, almost running into Lisa who comes sauntering in with a satisfied smirk on her face. "I have a theory."
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Varka was conflicted. The knight’s mind and heart were at war— his duties as the Grand Master or his love for Kyryll. The man did not want to pit two of the most important things in his life against one another but it had devolved to this point unfortunately. He hasn't had a moment of peace in his own mind since he left Nod-Krai. Reason said he should be ecstatic and relieved to be back. To once again be in his homeland— to eat, drink and laugh with friends and family, to hear the church bells ring every morning again, and to catch up with his kids. Rosaria and Razor have grown as people so much while he was away. Like a proud father, it has been a constant honor to be their mentor and guide in life. The blond had worried constantly about them throughout the expedition, asking about them relentlessly in his letters. Of course he knew they were capable individuals, but as their pseudo guardian, he would never stop worrying.
Varka truly did try to get back into his former routine, but it was no longer the same anymore. All because of one single person. Even the experienced knight he was, he never realized how much one person could change someone so fundamentally so quickly. Finally returning to an unchanged Mondstadt has made him realize that he had changed so much as a person while in Nod-Krai. Kyryll had essentially transformed his whole world. The knight had certainly had a few flings and lovers in the past, but never before had his vision tunneled onto one person before, making his whole world shaped but this single ethereal creature. The feeling was terrifying but so addictive, Kyryll was addictive. Realizing this all right now had the knight spiraling. Absence makes the heart grow fonder supposedly, and how true that was for now his heart aches constantly. Did Kyryll ache as much as he did right now? He already has three letters drafted up for the fae but none of them look or sound right for him to even consider sending.
Originally, the couple had agreed to try a long distance relationship— Varka would visit Nod-Krai as much as he was able to and perhaps Kyryll would visit the City of Freedom if he was comfortable. The trek back to Mondstadt had been bearable enough, the Favonius leader had a goal in mind— to once again see his people. However, now that he’s returned, the man himself felt unsettled. Varka had barely been back a few days and was already in shambles missing his lover, craving every moment for the blue haired man to be by his side— To wake up next to him, bask in that quiet yellow gaze full of love and admiration. This poorly thought out plan they had agreed upon was made under the assumption that they could both handle the distance, but the moment after crossing front gates of his city, all that was present was this bonedeep regret. He felt guilty that all it took was this one person for him to falter in his duties as Grand Master and want to run back to embrace his beloved. Realizing all of this in three days alone—that he didn't want to just visit Kyryll, he wanted to spend the rest of his life with this beautiful creature that had entranced him, wanting to live and breathe within the fae’s orbit for the rest of his natural born days.
Varka reflected over this for hours on Starsnatch Cliff, watching clouds move across the sky and the sun start to slowly set. Blue eyes closed, face towards the sky and hands in the grass. Always alert however, he knew the moment he was no longer alone. A slow and gentle gust of wind blew across the cliff’s edge, tangling in his already unkempt blond hair. When the wind died down enough, he finally heard the faint tune of a lyre.
“I was wondering when I'd see you, Barbatos.” Varka turns to look behind him and sees Venti already sitting crosslegged on the grass. Lightly strumming his fingers across the strings with his eyes closed. Varka waited patiently for the bard to finish his tune, picking at the nearby flowers and leaves. The knight hadn't heard this tune before, it must be a new one Venti wanted him to hear. The song was gentle and slow, but the melody was heavy in a way that made him feel melancholic—like like he was standing in the rain, clothes heavy on his body, and how wearing them felt overwhelming. It wasn't long before the song came to a close and Venti's hand stopped moving. Green eyes open to meet Varka’s own. “Welcome home, Varka.”
“Pleasure to see you again, my friend. That was a lovely tune. New piece perhaps?” The archon smiles softly, looking at Varka’s hands where the man holds a single cecilia by the stem between his fingers.
“Yes, I wrote it a little while before your return. Do you like it?”
“Yeah, it was unique.” Varka hesitated, trying to find the correct word to use, knowing that Venti was here for a reason. Instead of meeting up with the returning Grand Master in the city, the wind god sought him out while alone, implying that they needed to discuss a private matter.
“What emotions does it convey when you hear it, Varka?”
“It sounds…sorrowful? And lonely, like it's unfinished? Is there another part you're working on?” Indulging in the analysis of the song, noticing that it probably had to do with the important topic at hand. Being the God of Freedom he was, Venti usually preferred to gently guide his people into an answer, respecting his people’s choices but always offered guidance in times of turmoil.
“Do you believe it is?” At that question, Varka was stumped. The bard proceeded to pluck the cecilia out of Varka’s hand, twisting it around in his own fingers. “I have yet to see how this song will end. Hence why it is unfinished.”
“Venti, what is this truly about?” The man didn't want to be rude with the archon, he was just already exhausted by his own overthinking about his future and consequently the future of the Knights of Favonius.
Venti stopped twirling the flower and looked up with a tender smile. “I heard these emotions through the winds and with it, I made that tune.” The old god holds the cecilia up at eye level to the knight, “Your heart no longer belongs to Mondstadt, Varka.” The blond man’s eyes widened, realizing that this was about the very thing he’s been dwelling over.
“Oh no, I didn't think I would have to address this so soon.” Elbows on his knees, holding his head in his hands, already anxious.
“Oh? Have you already decided on leaving?”
“No, archons no, I’m so indecisive about everything right now. I feel like I don't know left from right.” The man was completely mortified that his archon already knew his predicament.
“Hm, I'm no expert but I've heard love will do that.”
“Tsk, isn't that the truth? Barbatos, I apologize for being unreliable to you and our people. I took an oath as the Grand Master that I would protect this nation and I’ve broken that oath.”
“You certainly have not broken that oath.” Venti teeters his head from side to side, “Eh that ceremony as a whole is more guidelines than anything. Protection is the main duty but this predicament doesn't count. You're not infallible Varka, you're a person too. You’re allowed to chase your dreams, and if it so happens those dreams take you away from Mondstadt, so be it. You'll always be a child of the wind.” The wind god himself looks to the grass and starts to pick more cecilias that are scattered in the grass.
“Your heart no longer belongs to Mondstadt. You haven't even unpacked, have you?” Varka opens his mouth but no words come out. Because it was true. All of his luggage was still in his bedroom, untouched. “Even your mind knew you weren't permanently staying.” Venti gives him a gentle and understanding smile, now holding a small bundle of cecilias.
Varka stands up and puts a hand to his forehead, “My loyalties are wavering and you're not a bit concerned? If I were to just up and leave, what would become of the Knights of Favonius? And oh gods, the kids, Rosaria and Razor. They'll think I've abandoned them!” Venti stands and looks up at the man as he continues to pace back and forth. “Gods, what about Jean? I didn't prepare her to be Grand Master full time, to just drop this all on her with no warning and run away to Nod-Krai? That would be selfish!”
“Varka, they'll be okay, you know your charges are capable people and they're not alone, you're just looking for excuses to force yourself to stay. But do you know who is all alone right now? In a quiet lighthouse sulking…” Venti walks towards Varka slowly.
“Your love and loyalties have never wavered, do you doubt my experience with the leader of my own people? A leader who I approved of myself? You love this nation and its citizens. You always will, but a person can change. That's just life. No one knows what tomorrow holds. You can't predict which way the wind will blow. Nothing is forever Varka.”
Venti grabs Varka’s hands and makes him hold the bundle of cecilias, now glowing, while putting his own hands around Varka’s. “So spend the time that you have with the one you love. Mondstadt and your people will always be here for you to visit.” The bard sighs before continuing, “There is ultimately no need for this, but I believe it will quiet your mind and give you the courage you need.” Venti closes his eyes, takes a deep breath, exhales and opens his eyes. The gentlest smile on his face.
Varka, Grand Master of the Knights of Favonius, I relieve you of your duty and bestow upon you my blessing as the Anemo Archon, to chase the winds that guide you to where your heart now rests.
The small archon’s voice ripples in the wind, with Varka now on the verge of tears. “Okay, okay. Thank you, Venti, for everything. Now I have to figure out how to break this to my knights.” The man was already stressing about breaking the news.
Venti studies the celicia bundle that he now solely holds in his hands, and proceeds to stretch up on his tippy toes to tuck a single one into Varka’s coat collar. “Also concerning Nod-Krai, You'll find that you've left more behind than you think.” At that revelation, the god pats his armor and saunters off down the cliff.
“Wait…what's that supposed to mean?”
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Gathering his knights and two kids had been a surprisingly easy process. Almost like they were expecting a meeting or private announcement from their leader. Huddled together in the Grand Master’s office were Jean, Lisa, Kaeya, Eula, Amber, Rosaria and Razor. Varka’s deputy, captains and kids deserve to hear the news first after all. Nervous of their reactions, he began his speech the moment they all stood around the office looking expectantly at their Grand Master.
“I know you all are probably wondering why I gathered you all here. I would like to make an announcement and I’d like you all to let me say my piece and wait until after I’m done for you all to speak up about your questions and concerns.” Varka takes a deep breath and continues, “I am resigning as your Grand Master.” Varying expressions were quickly scattered amongst the seven people in the room with him. “I know this is very sudden and I know I've only been back for a few days but I’ve been contemplating on this decision since I left Nod-Kraii. I discussed this with a very close friend of mine who helped me find closure in this decision. I know you all want an explanation and I will naturally give you one, but first I want to discuss how this will affect Mondstadt as a whole and what my plans are, Jean,” Varka turns to his deputy where she looks slightly startled at the call out but is attentive nonetheless. “If you don't want the permanent Grand Master position, I'll help you find a new replacement. I will not leave the Knights of Favonius in shambles, I'll make sure all is in order before even considering departing for Nod-Krai. It’s not like I'm dying or anything so you all have me as long as it takes for things to get in order, hahaha.” Joking to lighten the mood and cover up his nerves.
Jean looks pensive for a moment, but with determination in her eyes, she nods in agreement. “I am willingly and ready to take up the position permanently.” No one was surprised at that statement. The rest of the group are already thinking of ways to make Jean take more breaks.
“Alright, thank you, Jean. I know this will cause some stir and strife among the knights and city as a whole, but I have no doubt the transition will go smoothly considering Jean has been acting in my stead for a while now.”
Now prepared to explain why he’s leaving for Nod-Krai, but before he could even open his mouth, Lisa beats him to it. “You have a lover, don't you?” A pleased smirk on her face, as she turns her head to look at Jean and Kaeya, “I told you I'd be right.”
Baffled that yet again he had been discovered and confronted, “Wait a second, did you three make a bet??”
At Varka’s accusation, Lisa holds her hand to her chest dramatically. “Oh certainly not, I did have a compelling theory though, based on your behavior and new attire.” The librarian replies, gesturing to the man himself as a whole.
“New attire?” Varka glances down at his clothes, trying to take note of anything out of place.
“My dear, it's your jewelry of course. You never were one to wear such things before.” Lisa points out, seeing his confusion. “I can also sense that they have wards attached to them.”
“What do you mean?” The knight said in concern, he was never much for magic and alchemy. He trusted that to Lisa and Albedo.
Ever the well of knowledge she was, Lisa elaborates, “Wards are all about intent, and these jewels were bestowed upon you with the intent to protect and were done so with much affection might I add. I half thought, at first, that you had learned some form of magic in Nod-Krai but I realized it did not match any known human magic. So it became simple to conclude you either have a very dedicated admirer or you have a lover. Ultimately, with your behavior, the second theory became the obvious answer.”
At this explanation, Varka realizes he had completely overlooked that he had been gifted pieces of jewelry from Kyryll which he never stopped wearing. Before meeting his love, jewelry and gems never appealed to him at all. Now that the lightkeeper was in his life, every jewel the blue eyed man came across reminded him of his lover. Varka now always stops to look closer at gems and coins to see if the fae would be interested in it.
Some time into their relationship, Kyryll had taken up gifting some gems back to the blond man, it was never gaudy pieces either, knowing him well enough that extravagant jewels wasn't the knight’s style, no matter what his boisterous personality suggested. How could the simple mortal man he was, say no to his lover while he held out the jewelry, each one diligently picked by the lightkeeper's long pale hands with love and care.
Varka shouldn't be surprised that Lisa noticed such small details—wrapped around his left wrist was a small thin leather bracelet with a yellow tourmaline in the center, and then in his right ear was a single studded dark aquamarine earring. The bracelet by far was man’s favorite, it reminded him of Kyryll’s deep yellow eyes. Even looking down at it now made his heart twinge in longing. He was also told by the other man that he picked the earring because it matched the knight’s own eyes perfectly.
“Yellow tourmaline to grant you peace and clarity and to bring you happiness for all your days and dark aquamarine for protection and wisdom.” The fae had told him before giving each of the gifts.
“You know, Kyryll, this gem is associated with sirens and how it's supposed to grant you safe passage through treacherous waters.” He may not be well versed in gems but he knew a little more now just by paying attention, wanting to understand and keep up with his love’s hobbies.
The blue-haired man smiled playfully. “I am aware, yes.”
“Are you my beloved siren and is this your token of favor for safe passage through the north?” Varka chuckled, joking about how this fae creature had the human man wrapped around his finger and he loved every minute of it.
“Perhaps.” Kyryll had answered smugly.
Varka had never once considered that Kyryll might have had an underlying motive, although now that he thought about it, it was a very Kyryll thing to do. Taking notice that the lightkeeper didn't bestow gems on just anyone. However, to the knights, it had probably looked like he had taken a liking to wearing jewelry while on his expedition.
Pulling himself from his thoughts, Varka clears his throat, “Uh yes, I did uh meet someone while in Nod-Krai and I wish to spend the rest of my life with him if given the chance. I’ve reflected much these past few days and with the help of a close friend of mine, I've decided on following where the winds take my heart. Mondstadt will always be my home and I will come visit as much as I can. I can not thank you all enough for being by my side for all this time, as my knights as well as my friends.”
The looks he got from around the room were mostly acceptance and maybe a few cheerful tears welling up from Amber. “And when he's comfortable coming to Mondstadt, I’ll get you all to meet Flins. You're all important to me but I hope you'll all forgive that the winds have changed for me and are guiding me somewhere new, and I desire to follow using the time that I have left in this world.” With his speech coming to a close, Varka waited for any of them to voice against or for this decision.
Rosaria speaks up for the first time since entering the office, “Varka you don't have to explain anything else to us. I believe I speak for everyone else in this room when I say that we don't resent you for your choices.”
“Agreed, it's finally time for you to settle down with someone.” Eula chimes in, crossing her arms like she’s been waiting for him to choose his own happiness for once. “Next on the list is to get Jean to take more breaks, especially since she’s taking up your job fulltime now.” Varying sounds of agreement ripples across the office. Varka slowly relaxes as their reactions and casual joking finally put him at ease.
“We’ve always known you want what's best for Mondstadt and try to put us first. You’re almost as much of a workaholic as Jean. We know this choice didn't come easy to you, but we’re glad you've chosen what your heart yearns for.” Ever the sweet and empathetic girl Amber was, knowing she has his back was reassuring.
Razor, even as the quiet boy he was, walked up to Varka, looking determined to verbalize his thoughts on the matter. “Razor understands that Varka has found a mate and understands that mate comes first. I wish to meet new lupical!” The knight hadn't considered that as Varka's lover, Razor would possibly see Kyryll as his own family, but there was no doubt in his mind that the fae would adore Razor and Rosaria at first meeting.
“Thank you all, for your understanding and support. The knights and the city itself means everything to me and to have all your support, it was more than I hoped for.”
Kaeya claps his hands together, “Alright, enough of the seriousness and tearjerking, I believe we should get started preparing a speech and a retirement party for our dear Grand Master.”
“Yes, we should go over the logistics– the dividing of duties and preparation before the day ends.” As usual Jean is already planning ahead of time.
“Ah ah ah, actually now that the solemn atmosphere is gone, would you care to tell us more about your mysterious lover Varka?” Lisa tuts, clearly not letting him off the hook about the promise to explain his relationship.
Fiddling with the metal rivets on his gloves, Varka smiles excitedly— eager yet nervous to tell them everything about the man who has captivated him.