Archive of Our Own ^beta

“It’s too early for cherry blossoms, but plum blossoms are equally beautiful.”

Kaiser could have told Yoichi to save it for someone who cared. It wasn’t like Kaiser could tell the difference between them when he’d never had the chance to stop and smell the roses, so to speak, and the few times he’d paid attention, he’d remembered only the sweet scent of roses turning sour, then acrid, as fire reduced them to ash.

The sweet scent was not so different here, but at the same time, it couldn’t have been more different. It was softer, more delicate, with a punchy sort of sourness that lingered as the opening notes faded away, before all of it was overwhelmed by the refreshing not-scent of a brisk winter. Kaiser swore that he could taste the frost that rimmed the plum blossoms on the back of his tongue, and when he closed his eyes and turned his face up to the white, featureless sky, it almost felt like he wasn’t on earth at all.

How had he ended up here? How had this happened? When he opened his eyes again, would it all have been a dream? Would he wake up on a dirty wooden floor, surrounded by trash, clutching his fellow piece of shit? It felt like only yesterday that he’d made his wish — what had he done to merit its fulfillment?

A bump against his shoulder, followed by a laughing voice, “This isn’t the place to daydream. You’re in the way, clown.”

How could he have forgotten? This was all Yoichi’s stupid fault.

Near the end of March, during a rare German public holiday, Yoichi had received an offer to play in a friendly match in his homeland, and he’d decided to rope Kaiser in as well. Kaiser didn’t remember ever agreeing, but he hadn’t protested either.

A long weekend had turned into a full week and a half, and between promotional shoots and sponsor-led events, dear Yoichi had taken it upon himself to show him around Tokyo and his hometown, because Kaiser “hadn’t visited it right” the first time he’d been there, during the NEL. It was crazy to think that it had been two whole years now; two years of bickering, fighting ferociously, and giving the most insane performances on the pitch, but there was more to come, there had to be, because it simply wasn’t enough.

(But it could be.)

(No, it couldn’t)

Yoichi wandered off somewhere behind the ryokan, his ridiculous silhouette standing out amidst the white and grey snow. His bright green puffer jacket made him an eyesore, but it was a handy way to keep track of him no matter how far he went. Kaiser, by contrast, was in a wine red club jacket, his hands stuffed deep into the pockets in lieu of the cumbersome gloves Yoichi had tried to make him put on.

“Micchan, it’s cold today! You should put on more clothes or you’ll get sick!”

Kaiser stared blankly at the small woman who had stopped next to him. That was another aspect of this entire trip that baffled him, the fact that Yoichi’s parents were travelling with them. Then again, it made a certain sort of sense: Yoichi missed his parents and he couldn’t rightly be expected to dedicate all his time to Kaiser.

It wasn’t like Kaiser had wanted to be there in the first place.

It wasn’t like Kaiser had ever asked for company.

Yet, Kaiser found himself playing his part in this unfinished script, at least until he could divine its core themes and concept. It was kind of fun, at least, but then again, spending time with Yoichi was always fucking fun, even though Kaiser wasn’t blind to the insidious thing slithering under its surface, waiting to strike when he started getting comfortable. It was only a matter of time. Until then, he pretended like Yoichi’s mother had any reason to say something like that to him.

“It’s fine,” Kaiser responded easily, refusing to examine what the conversation meant. “It was colder in Berlin.”

“Is that where you’re from? Yocchan never mentioned that,” Yoichi’s dad materialised next to Kaiser, though it failed to elicit any sort of reaction from him. That was strange too — Kaiser had fully expected to feel antsy and annoyed with Yoichi’s parents hovering around him when they should be sticking to their son, but they barely registered to Kaiser, and they didn’t make his hackles rise the way most of Bastard München did.

“It never came up,” Kaiser shrugged, casting a sidelong glance at Yoichi’s parents. Kaiser wouldn’t have known where Yoichi was from either, if Yoichi hadn’t mentioned that they were visiting his hometown in Saitama.

As if sensing that Kaiser was thinking ill of him, Yoichi barged into their conversation even as he sidled up to him, “What are you talking about? Of course I know you’re from Berlin, you’ve mentioned it in an interview before.”

As a matter of fact, Kaiser had made it a point not to mention where he was from, especially not in interviews, to discourage all the vultures scavenging for the filthy truth of his origins.

“What are you talking about? The only time— Wait.” No, wait. Kaiser’s mouth twisted into a lopsided grin, an absolute look of glee making his eyes gleam. “Yoichi, have you been a long-time fan all along? I’ve only mentioned it once in an interview, but that was when I first joined the youth team.”

“Hah?” Yoichi gawked at him. The telltale hint of pink dusting his cheeks told Kaiser everything he needed to know. “I don’t know what you’re talking about. You must be misremembering in your old age.”

“Aw, don’t be shy. It’s only fitting that you worship at your favourite striker’s feet.”

Yoichi let out a loud bark of laughter and slapped Kaiser’s hand away. “Let’s not start with that emperor shit again, clown boy.”

Kaiser snickered, turning towards Yoichi fully so that he wouldn’t miss a single second of Yoichi’s reddening face and the skittish flicker of his eyes. “Let’s have it then. What was it? Did little Yoichi think I looked cool on the pitch? Was it the kick? It was the goals, wasn’t it?”

“Yocchan’s dream is to win the World Cup for Japan, but he has always wanted to play in the same team as you,” Yoichi’s dad supplied helpfully, adding oil to the flame.

“Evil dad! I never said that!” Yoichi looked scandalised, his grin giving way to flustered dismay. “I said I wanted to play in Bastard, not that I wanted to play with him!”

Maybe Kaiser did want to spend more time with Yoichi’s parents around, especially if they were going to share more blackmail material and make Yoichi sputter like that. Kaiser slung an arm over Yoichi’s shoulders companionably, grinning from ear to ear, bumping their foreheads together and making Yoichi hiss in pain, “It’s okay. We’ll keep your cute little teen crush a secret. We’ll say you just have good taste.”

Not one to back down, Yoichi grabbed the back of Kaiser’s jacket and his face contorted into something between a grin and a snarl, his eyes bright and animated. “Shut up and come in already. We’ve been outside the whole day and you have the key.”

Kaiser did, indeed, have the key, but he didn’t point out the obvious. Moments like this were by no means uncommon, but they had begun to crop up with shocking frequency. Was this acceptance or was it compromise, and what did they hope to get out of this?

When had this started?

Not after the NEL, when Kaiser’s desire to talk to him shrank to nothing in inverse proportion to his need to pulverise him. Not after the U20 World Cup, and not during the first season Yoichi had played for Bastard. Was it the second season, then, when Yoichi languished on the bench? They had started talking again around that time, but rather than recalling how those laughably mundane days had gone by, all Kaiser could think about was how they had ended up in the same city, on the same street, sharing hours and hours of their lives, in spite of their persistent dislike for each other. In that instant, as Kaiser shuffled through the snow with Yoichi’s hand on his bicep, he had to laugh at the joke of where they had ended up, together, when Yoichi came from the autumn world of bountiful promise, and Kaiser from the frigid winter darkness.

“What are you laughing about? Hurry up and unlock the door!”

Kaiser obliged, but not without another spate of teasing, “Is little Yoichi really that cold? Do you need me to come to the rescue?”

Yoichi muttered something unintelligible under his breath and dragged Kaiser inside as soon as the door was unlocked. He huffed a pleased, nasally noise when he realised that the heating had already been put on ahead of time, and peeled off his outer layers in record speed.

Kaiser couldn’t help it. He took one look at the things scattered all over the tatami floor like the moulted shell of some great insect, then at locks of Yoichi’s hair standing up at odd angles from being smushed under a beanie all day, and snorted. The way Yoichi’s face instantly puffed up in a peeved pout pushed Kaiser over the edge and he burst into raucous laughter.

Not even the sight of Yoichi marching right up to him, hectic spots of red on his cheeks, could make Kaiser stop. If anything, it made him laugh harder, fully expecting Yoichi to hit him for it.

Yoichi grabbed him by the front of his jacket and… kissed him instead.

The kiss was a threat, or a warning; it was a cue to shut the fuck up. Kaiser would abide by it, just this once, but a good warning merited a good retaliation, and when Yoichi’s eyes went dark like that, under the half-shadow of flickering eyelids and fluttering lashes, Kaiser knew to lean in. Slowly, so as not to startle his dear prey, with a light but confident hand cupping his jaw, Kaiser pressed his lips against Yoichi’s, until they split open with a sigh, and their tongues rubbed together in a spark of bright heat.

Kaiser knew to put his free hand on Yoichi’s side: to remind him who held the reins here, but also to steady him when he invariably stumbled like the clumsy oaf that he was. He didn’t pull away until Yoichi delivered yet another cue in this familiar script — an indignant yank on his hair that made his scalp tingle — which elicited that familiar bloom of warmth in his gut.

Yoichi’s face was flushed pink and his lips red, marking him the loser again in their endless competition of composure. Kaiser ducked his head before Yoichi could notice his burning ears, and he would have got away with it if not for a noise of surprise followed by a polite little clearing of throat from the direction of the very much open door to their room.

Fuck, how had they missed that?

“Yocchan, Micchan, dinner is about to be served. Don’t take too long.” Yoichi’s mum lowered her voice to a whisper, with a hand shielding her mouth lest another person read her lips, “And remember to close the door before enjoying each other’s company. I approve, of course, but Japan isn’t as accepting as Germany yet!”

Kaiser was so stunned by her words that he stood stock still even when Yoichi shoved him aside and hissed, his face getting redder by the second, “Mum! It’s not like that! We’re not— It’s a dare thing!” At that moment, Yoichi seemed to remember that Kaiser was still there, and he smacked him hard in the chest and prompted, “Tell her, bakaiser!”

That broke the paralysis that had gripped him. Kaiser put on his most charming smile and wrapped an arm snugly around Yoichi’s waist, pulling him against his side so that he had no way of escaping. “Of course, I won’t let your good faith and trust go to waste. I’ll take good care of Yocchan and never let anyone harm a single misplaced hair—”

Yoichi squirmed and thrashed to no avail. “—I told you, it’s not misplaced!”

Kaiser grinned harder, ruffling the top of Yoichi’s head and flattening his stupid hair sprout, “—on his adorable little head.”

“Oi, for the last time, I’m not little!” That seemed to be the last straw — or perhaps the last hair. Yoichi stomped hard on Kaiser’s left foot and elbowed him in the stomach.

Sadly for Yoichi, Kaiser was made of sterner stuff. Still, Kaiser would indulge his cute Giftzwerg ways, with a half-convincing, “Ow!”

Yoichi’s mum shook her head at them, which could have been taken as a sign of disappointment, if not for the fond smile she was sporting as she walked away. It was stupefying to learn that there existed a certain type of parent who thought their kid could do no wrong. No wonder Yoichi could keep moving forwards in the world, demanding everything unabashedly, without a single shred of self-awareness. It was remarkable, really.

“You lost, by the way.”

“No, I didn’t.” Yoichi pushed Kaiser away from him, his cocky smile lopsided. He closed the door and locked it for good measure, before turning around and declaring, “You kissed me back first!”

“Whatever.” What roundabout nonsense. Kaiser didn’t bother arguing with Yoichi. He simply rolled his eyes and went over to the cupboard to grab hangers for their outdoor stuff. His gaze fell on the pair of robes sitting on the upper shelf, and he grabbed them after putting his jacket away. “Hey, are these for the hot springs?”

“...no.”

The tone of Yoichi’s voice made Kaiser turn to regard him, and it was just as Kaiser had expected — Yoichi looked like he was up to something, likely at Kaiser’s expense. “No?”

“No, you can wear it anywhere in the ryokan if you want.” Yoichi clasped his hands behind his back in a distinctly Ness-like manner, as if that would register as innocuous when Yoichi had the face of a gremlin. “In fact, I think you should wear it to dinner.”

That meant that Kaiser should be doing anything but what Yoichi had suggested, but Kaiser’s stubbornness matched Yoichi’s, and there was no way he was going to back down from the challenge. So, he made it a point to strip down to naked skin and pull the robe on. Right around the moment he’d dropped his briefs, Yoichi had averted his gaze as if they didn’t all shower in the communal showers after training.

Yoichi was downright prudish in comparison, opting to wear a jersey and a pair of briefs and shorts under his robe. When Kaiser pointed that out, Yoichi tripped over his own feet and nearly pitched over the step on the way out of their room.

Whatever Yoichi had been scheming seemed to have backfired on him. All through dinner, he was distracted and dropped his chopsticks on more occasions than Kaiser cared to keep track of. He choked on his miso soup when his parents asked him if he was all right, and he appeared to have trouble meeting Kaiser’s gaze when he turned to give him a quizzical look. Kaiser could feel his burning stare when he looked away though, and he was sure Yoichi made a noise akin to a squeak when Kaiser put his hair up in a bun when he got sick of it being in his eyes.

“You’re acting more stupid than usual, Yoichi.”

“That’s because you look more stupid than usual,” Yoichi grumbled on the walk back to their room.

It was too early to turn in for the night, so they washed up and clambered into the outdoor bath that their room came with. While Kaiser didn’t mind the cold too much, the hot spring still felt amazing to step into, and he sank up to his chin into the hot water with a long sigh.

They started out side by side, wallowing in the hot water, amid white steam. There was nothing between them and the sky, and nothing between them but the water. Eventually, as their already disjointed conversation about nothing tapered off, not even the water separated them.

That was all Yoichi’s fault too: he didn’t want to get out of the water despite a spell of lightheadedness, so Kaiser was forced to put an arm around him to make sure he didn’t drown. Somehow, Yoichi had ended up sitting between Kaiser’s legs, leaning back against his chest. When he lifted his chin and looked up at Kaiser, it was completely natural for Kaiser to lean down and press their lips together. They were already so close, and their breaths mingled like they were supposed to melt together.

Those kisses were unaccountably soft, not much more than the warm pressure of cold lips meeting, and the tingling pinpricks that bloomed like ice flowers between them. They shouldn’t have been as comfortable as they were, but Kaiser couldn’t say when they’d stopped or when he’d dozed off.

He only shuddered awake when Yoichi shook his shoulder, and even then, Kaiser wasn’t cold. It wouldn’t be the first time he’d slept outside, even though it would be the first time he’d done so wearing nothing but his own skin. It would also be the first time he wasn’t alone, and the first time someone gave him that particular look.

“There’s snow in your hair.” Kaiser brushed the fresh snowflakes from Yoichi’s dark hair before they melted, and he picked the fallen plum blossoms caught there too. In a rare moment of clarity, Kaiser allowed himself to admit that Yoichi was beautiful, and part of the reason Kaiser had allowed all these silly ‘dares’ and ‘challenges’ and ‘nothings’ to happen was the fact that he enjoyed them, and he liked him, insofar as he was capable.

Whether or not Yoichi felt the same way was beside the point; it simply didn’t matter. In some distant future, in some yet unwritten script, maybe it would.

“The blue of your hair makes the plum blossoms look like they’re on fire,” Yoichi murmured, his voice low and scarcely above a breath. Then, so quickly that Kaiser thought he must have imagined his initial statement, Yoichi tugged Kaiser to his feet and they got out of the hot spring bath.

They rinsed off the hot spring water before hurrying back inside and retreating under the sheets. Sleep pulled them under right away, and when the dawn broke, they woke up wrapped around each other, snug and cozy. It was not unlike the time they’d shared a bed for the first time, during a training camp in the Bavarian mountains, where Yoichi had complained so much about the incessant rain and the damp cold, and had proceeded to worm under Kaiser’s sheets and curl up against him. Kaiser couldn’t say how that had happened either, but he said the same thing he had back then, with his face buried in the crook of Yoichi’s neck, “Go back to sleep. It’s still early.”

Yoichi responded in much the same way he had back then, which was to cuddle closer, tucking his head against Kaiser’s collarbone.