Chapter Text
Ralph didn’t know how long they had been stuck on the island.
Weeks?… Months?.. Years? All he knew was his hair had gotten long, he hadn’t taken a proper bath in the lagoon in days... and his authority as chief was slowly slipping away from him.
And it was all thanks to Jack.
Jack Merridew.
There were only a few people left now under his command. Most of them were littluns, but there were a few somewhat-sane biguns that hadn’t fallen for Jack’s allure. Like Sam n Eric and Piggy. He knew that Piggy would NEVER join Jack’s tribe under any circumstances, and the littluns were all too scared of Jack (and Roger) to join. Sam and Eric were well meaning, but they no longer found any good reason to make a fire. He could just feel the doubt and hopelessness closing over the group like a tidal wave. Like the one that took Simon away.. it all somehow seemed to fall apart without him.
He tried his best to stay strong, to keep everyone on track by making more rescue fires. But if he was being honest with himself, he would say he was starting to feel the same way as everyone else was. Hell, he was probably more unsure about this than all of them. No matter what Piggy said was ‘right’ or ‘wrong’ or ‘an accident.’ And on top of Simon’s death (which he knew they were responsible for), the looming threat of the beast and Jack’s tribe, and the possibility they might stay there forever… he just couldn’t handle it.
So one night, when the fire was properly contained and everyone was fast asleep, he stepped away for a moment from his shelter and into the dark woods. Making sure to be as quiet as possible to not wake Piggy or anyone else up from their slumber.
He’d been having nightmares as of late. Which is probably why he was so eager to take the opportunity to stay up and watch the fire whenever he could. He could tell Piggy was skeptical of his decision to take the night shift tonight, but he just had to. He couldn’t face Simon’s dead body haunting his dreams again. And the fire.. everything was on fire.. and..
He decided to let those memories go, and continued to trek into the forest until he came into a clearing. He sat down on the ground and looked up into the starry sky, where he tried to silently recall the life he had before. The one where he ate cornflakes and saw wild horses and read as many books as he could want. The life he had where he couldn’t look up into the sky and see dozens of beautiful lights gazing down at him like eyes. The life he had where he didn’t have blood on his hands and a tendency to stay awake and alert. The life he had where he didn’t have to worry about anything other than his schoolwork. The life he had where he could go home every day to his family and know that everything would be okay. But those days were gone now. There was no one left to hold him, and he no longer finds comfort in dreams. He felt as if he had been dragged into a book, or some kind of show he would watch on the tele. The whole situation seemed.. unreal. But here they were. Haunted by the presence of the beast and..
He was immediately snapped out of his thoughts as he heard a rustling noise in the bushes. Followed by a soft ‘shit’ after the noise.
He knew that voice anywhere.
It was Jack.
He knew that he was hunting him. He saw what he and his savages did to Simon. Hell, he probably followed him on his way here. In an instant, he jolted upwards and began to run back towards the fire.
He heard Jack doing his stupid little war cry from behind him, and continued to run back towards the light of his camp. He felt as if he was just one of Jack’s pigs. The mere thought of being gutted and eaten like that made him run faster. Because he knew what they did. He took part in it.
And now here he was, Jack’s fierce rival. The only person in his way from taking control of the island, defenseless and lost in the woods.
He stood no chance.
Jack tackled him to the forest ground and raised his spear over his head to make the final blow, before Ralph cried out:
“NO- JACK- PLEASE-“
He flinched away from the blow and shut his eyes, waiting for death..
..but it never came.
“Why would I even spare you, Ralph?”
“..Huh?”
He muttered, squinting his eyes open as he glanced back up at Jack and saw a hint of slight hesitation in his eyes. Despite his tendency to clash heads with Ralph for power, he just couldn’t bring himself to kill him. For a reason neither of them couldn’t quite understand yet.
“No, why SHOULD I spare you?”
Jack had corrected, as he recounted all the things they had done over the past couple days. As his grip on the spear kept getting tighter, he muttered out:
“You insulted my hunters, you made me look weak in front of everyone, you’re the only thing in my way from having full control..”
He gazed into his eyes with a hatred that Ralph hadn’t seen from him before. Mainly because it felt as if this hate was more directed at himself. Like he was talking to himself through Ralph.
“So why should I even spare you?”
He asked, continuing to watch Ralph as he practically straddled his stomach with his spear hovering over Ralph’s face menacingly. Like he was ready to kill if needed, but he wouldn’t consider it his first option.
Ralph was stunned at the question that Jack had asked him. He didn’t expect hesitation from the seemingly fierce leader. As he thought for a moment about what he should say, he saw Jack take a hand off of his spear and put it close to his face.He shut his eyes and moved his head away in fear. But instead of Jack ripping his nose off his face or gouging his eyes out, he rubbed his dirty, calloused thumb underneath his eyes. Touching his eye bags as he muttered underneath his breath:
“..You look like shit.”
Ralph couldn’t help but snicker a little at Jack’s realization and his shock from the uncharacteristic situation. Only to shut up after Jack responded with a harsh tone:
“Is there somethin’ funny ‘bout what I said?”
He asked, grabbing his jaw as he turned the other boy’s head to face him. His grip was tight on Ralph’s chin, almost like some kind of tyrant. Like he was begging- no, demanding control from him. Ralph’s eyes had opened now, and were gazing into Jack’s own ocean blue eyes. If he would’ve permitted himself to say so, he would’ve commented on how they sparkled in the moonlight to catch him off guard. But the slight pain from Jack’s iron grip acted like some sort of timer. Which didn’t really give him enough time to come up with a good response, so he just spat out the first sentence on his mind.
“I was gonna say, now we finally have something in common besides wanting to be in charge.”
Jack was taken aback by his response and Ralph regretted what he said. Not because it was mean, but mostly because Jack was just easy to offend. And in this situation, he didn’t really want to offend him.
Which he failed to do, of course.
Jack’s grip on the stick had tightened, and he scoffed at Ralph’s audacity. He didn’t look stupid! He looked fierce. Like a REAL hunter, a real man. Not like Ralph would ever really know what that meant.
“Excuse me? Are you calling me ugly, you miserable little coward?”
He asked, tilting Ralph’s head up to face him as his hand had moved down from Ralph’s jawbone all the way down to his neck. Ralph felt his strangling grip on his neck and just choked out:
“If you kill me, you’ll put a death sentence on all of us.”
He said, which made Jack pause for a moment. There was silence throughout the jungle once more as they just gazed into each other’s eyes for longer than they should’ve. Especially since they were supposed to be on opposite sides.
“How dare you— I am MORE than capable of keeping them together, Ralph. Something you wouldn’t know. Because if you did, they wouldn’t all be with me.”
“Is that because they want to be?”
Ralph retorted back, as Jack blushed in embarrassment at his comment.
“Yes they do, Ralph.”
He snapped back at him, as Ralph just shut up and continued to stare at him. Jack was getting slightly flustered now, as his grip on his neck got slightly tighter.
“They joined in the dance. They go hunting every day. We eat ALL the meat to our heart’s content. And you.. you’re just..”
Jack couldn’t find the right words to describe Ralph, as he had his hands on Jack’s forearm to keep him from choking him to death. Or at least attempt to keep him from choking him to death. As Jack was physically taller than Ralph. And he was probably stronger since he went hunting a whole lot more than him, and he took him down pretty easy. And yet.. despite all the words that Jack could call him in that moment, nothing seemed right. He was a coward, and he was a bad chief. But.. he was also enchanting. The way he could just stand up to him like that. Not in the annoying way, like Piggy does. But… he does it in his own charismatic style. And not to mention he is quite attractive, especially with his long, blonde hair that was constantly in a tangle, and..
No, he couldn’t think like that. Especially since he was the enemy. And definitely because he hated him more than anyone else did. Perhaps if he could just shove those feelings down inside, he wouldn’t feel the way his demeaning comments got under his skin. The way he called him a death sentence hurt. As everything else he called him did. So Jack just scoffed and hardened his gaze down at him. So that he wouldn’t have to see or feel the hard, complicated things he felt for the other boy. Things that he knew he wouldn’t reciprocate. And that he shouldn’t feel for another man. Things that he COULDN’T feel for another man. Especially one of Ralph’s status and liking. He continued to choke Ralph slightly as he spoke in a threatening tone.
“You’re a fool, Ralph. You always have, and you always will be. And once those idiots on your end finally grow up and realize that i’m just the better leader, they’ll all come running back to me. The littluns, Sam n Eric, and even that fatty you keep around like your little boyfriend.”
He spat out, his grip continuing to tighten as his temper got more out of control.
“They’ll all come back to me. And then you’ll just be all alone. With your stupid little fire and your dumb little shelters and everything else you tried to keep together and failed to do. And once I finally teach ‘em what following actually looks like and put the REAL pigs in the circle… we’ll spend the rest of our lives eating like kings, and we’ll do whatever we want without any limits. Because rules are for losers. Just. Like. You.”
Jack said, jabbering on before he physically spit on Ralph’s face and let go of his neck. Leaving a red mark in its place. He glared down at him in distain as Ralph began to cough from the lack of air.
“How weak.. you won’t even fight back.”
Jack commented as he continued to look down at him, his freckled face contorting with disdain and a glimpse of his slightly primal rage that he had kept within himself up until that night.
“Maybe you were right about choosing not to join us during the feast. You would’ve been the biggest pig in the circle anyway.”
He spat out, before he got up off of Ralph’s stomach and slinked back into the woods away from him. Sparing his life.. for now. Ralph continued to touch the place where Jack had touched him. Leaving him to ponder what he had meant by his words, and what he had really intended them to be.