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Will lay on his back, staring at the ceiling of the Wheeler basement and blasting The Clash.
I see all my dreams coming tumbling down, I can’t be happy without you around…
The small cassette player Jonathan had bought him for his sixteenth birthday sat on a pile of books next to his mattress. The books were from a thrift shop, the mattress from a yard sale, and the limited array of cassettes stacked in the corner were courtesy of various people and places.
It’d been officially just over a year since the Byers had returned to Hawkins. Will, Jonathan, and Joyce had been living with the Wheelers for a year. Eight people living shoulder to shoulder in one house was… overwhelming, to say the least, but at least Will got the basement to himself most nights. Jonathan usually snuck up to Nancy’s room, even when they were fighting.
Will’s brother was more present now than he ever had been in Lenora; cheap weed was a lot less accessible here, and he didn’t drink, so he was pretty much always sober. Drinking had always reminded Jonathan of their dad, and, as he had confided in Will once, his biggest fear was turning into Lonnie.
Will could tell he was still struggling. Struggling to find a purpose, trapped in Hawkins, NYU was nothing more than a rapidly fading dream. Jonathan still hadn’t told Nancy about school; in fact Will was the only person in Hawkins who knew.
“Train in Vain” clicked to an end, and Will rolled over to switch out the tape. London Calling was a great album, almost as good as Combat Rock but not quite. The latter would always be Will’s favorite. It’d been Will’s one constant in life.
Will thought carefully and picked out David Bowie’s Diamond Dogs. Bowie was Will’s second constant.
He was just about to lay back down and continue contemplating everything, when a quiet knock sounded on the door. It was late afternoon, just on the brink of evening; Will and Mike had biked home from school two hours ago. Mike had disappeared into his cave of a room upstairs and Will had immediately buried himself in homework downstairs.
Mike and Will’s relationship had been something of a rollercoaster this past year. Living with each other all the time kind of forced them to work out their bullshit. At first arrival, Will jumped at Mike’s quiet offer to share his room. But it was stuffy and awkward, especially after a week in a van; each conversation felt stunted and forced. Mike had stopped asking for advice about El, too. Without that topic readily available, for the first time in Will’s life it seemed like he and Mike had nothing to talk about at all.
So when, after two weeks, Ted had decided it was “unproductive” for them to continue sharing a room, neither of them exactly argued about Will joining Jonathan in the basement.
Maybe space was what they needed, but situations like this did tend to get worse before they got better. El had broken up with Mike less than a month later, and Mike had started locking himself in his room the second he came home from school. For two weeks he was nasty to everyone, ignoring his mom and snapping at whoever dared to speak to him.
But slowly, little by little, he’d started warming back up to Will. At first it was little things, like passing the syrup to Will first without needing to be asked, or waiting for Will in front of school to bike home together instead of taking off. And then, one faithful night, he invited Will up to his room (sounding almost shy) to read comics.
And although it was strange at first, almost fragile, they very quickly fell back into their old ways.
A year later, and it truly felt like their friendship was almost back to how it was before that dreadful summer when Mike changed. Will had just turned sixteen, and he had his best friend back. He should be overjoyed. But that’s excluding one crucial detail:
Will was still hopelessly in love with Mike Wheeler. And he hated himself for it.
“Come in,” Will said out loud to the room. It couldn’t be Jonathan; he never knocked.
Holly Wheeler was the one who tip-toed into the room, holding a piece of paper.
Holly had a passion for art, something Will had, in the past few months, vehemently supported. She’d sit at the kitchen table drawing, asking Will for inspiration or tips as he did his own sketching. Will had always been the kid brother- it was nice to play the big brother for a change, and Holly seemed to like him well enough. She was really talented for her age, too. Mike tended to joke that Holly would choose Will over him and Nancy any day.
“Hey Will,” Holly held up her paper. “Could you maybe help me with something?”
“Totally,” Will smiled, standing to walk over to the table where the party used to play D&D together. “What do you need help with?”
Holly sat down across from him. “Mike’s birthday- it’s in three days.”
Will hummed. He’d found Mike a special edition X-Men comic for a gift, but was still trying to figure out what to make him to go alongside it. Will always gave Mike art for his birthdays- and apparently Holly had the same idea.
“I wanted to draw him for his present. And I’ve done portraits before so I thought I’d be okay, but I just-” she pushed the paper towards Will. “I can’t draw stupid Mike.”
Will smiled. Holly had clearly drawn and erased her brother multiple times. “Ah. What’s the problem?”
Holly made a face. “I can’t get the nose! And eyes, and- Well, all of it.” She looked like she’d already given up. “I’ll never do it.”
She talked just like her brother.
Will was determined. “Hey. Yes, you will! But first let’s get you some good paper, okay?” He pulled a fresh sheet of his nice paper out and handed it to Holly. “No more printer paper. It’s flimsy.”
Holly looked down nervously. “You sure? This looks expensive,” she said, running her hands over the sheet.
It had been. All art stuff was. “It’s okay, think of it as a gift from me to you to Mke.”
Holly smiled and grabbed her pencil. “Thanks, Will.”
“You wanna start drawing and I’ll walk you through it?”
Holly nodded. “For sure.”
“Okay, so I usually start off with the face shape when drawing people. Your brother’s face is very angular, kinda like a cross between a square and a rectangle.”
Holly paused her sketching and raised her eyebrow at him. “A square is a rectangle.” She said in the most Mike voice ever. Her brother used the exact tone when he was being sassy. “But a rectangle isn’t always a square.”
Will laughed. “I was wrong, you’re right! Gah!” He clutched at his chest, right above his heart, dramatically, and Holly giggled. “So yeah, a rectangle isn’t always a square, because-”
“-a square has equal sides.” Holly finished, rolling her eyes. “Like, duh.”
“Exactly.” Will said, because duh. Sometimes, in his head, Holly was still a little kid. A toddler. But she was growing up now, almost as old as Will had been when he’d been- no. “But this one, for Mike’s face, is gonna be longer than a square, but not as long as lots of other rectangles, or faces, are.”
“Like this?”
“Perfect. From there you can angle out the chin- Mike has a sharp- but not long- jaw and a soft chin.” Will surveyed her work. “Nice!”
“Yeah?”
“Duh,” Will said and Holly giggled. “Super nice.”
“So what next?
“Lots of people start with the eyes, but I start with the brows and the nose. Now- how much of his forehead do you think is covered by hair?”
Holly scrunched her nose. “Uh. This much?” She pinched her fingers over her portrait.
“Not quite. It’s a little less- plus I think his hair is shorter now, right?”
No, Will knew it was shorter. Mike had cut it short a few weeks ago for the first time in ages, and Will had nearly died when he first saw it.
“So here?” Holly sketched out a line.
“Yup. You’ll come back to the hair- you just don’t want his eyes floating on his forehead.”
“His eyes might as well be on his forehead.” Holly muttered.
“Hm?” Will stifled a laugh.
“He’s an id- I mean, he’s not very good at, um, seeing obvious stuff, Will,” Holly whispered loudly, clearly censoring herself for Will’s sake. “Don’t tell me you’ve never noticed.”
Will very much had. “Don’t tell him this, but you’re absolutely right.” Will admitted, matching her whisper.
Holly looked gleeful. “I won’t say a thing. Promise.”
“Good. You better not. He’d probably kick me out or something,” Will said dramatically.
Holly’s expression turned determined. “I wouldn’t let him,” Holly said. “Having you here is like having a second brother! It’s cool.”
Will’s heart melted a little. “Thanks, Holly.”
“And you actually like the stuff I like.”
“Mike likes art too!” Will tried.
Holly rolled her eyes again. “No. Mike likes your art.”
Will blushed. “Well. He’s gonna like this a lot. Now, onto the nose.” He tapped her paper. “Mike’s nose is sharp too, and if we were drawing a side profile it’d be a lot more interesting. But here, all you have to know is that it’s narrow, like a thin rectangle. Then it kind of ends in… a diamond. Does that make sense?”
Holly was on it. She was really picking this up quickly, and Will talked her through the eyebrows easily.
“Eyes. Okay. Mike’s eyes are downturned, and pretty wide. His eyes and his eyebrows are probably his most expressive feature.”
“Yeah, ‘cause he’s always glaring at people.” Holly muttered, but it kind of sounded affectionate. Will would never completely understand the Wheeler Family dynamics.
“So the outside part of the eye is gonna round down a lot, but then it’s gonna curve back up to tear duct, which is triangular.” Will pointed to his own eyes. “Mike’s irises are dark and big, and you can kind of play with where you want to position them in the eye.”
Holly spent a while getting the eyes right, but looked pretty satisfied once Will explained how the eyelid curves around the rest of the eye.
“Last for the eyes are his lashes. Mike has really nice lashes.” Will said empathetically and Holly burst out laughing. He furrowed his brow. “What?”
“No- it’s just- nice lashes? My brother? That’s a girl thing!”
Will shook his head. “Some guys have girl- feminine- features and vice versa. Totally normal. But, like, nice lashes quite literally aren’t a girl thing. I mean, I know plenty of guys with long lashes.”
“Why do you notice guys' lashes?” Holly said suddenly.
Will’s stomach dropped. “I’m an artist,” he said quickly, then went on to explain how to curve and group lashes together so they didn’t overwhelm the portrait.
“Mouth is last.” Holly said. “Lips are hard.”
“Mike’s aren’t,” Will said abruptly and then winced. “I mean, his lips shouldn’t be too difficult to draw.” He scrubbed a hand over his face. “The most important thing is the part of the lips. That’s first.” He watched Holly sketch out two connecting lines. “Good. Now, Mike’s upper and bottom lips are, like, pretty much the same width,” Will said hurriedly. “But usually people’s bottom lip is significantly bigger.”
“My brother’s just a weirdo.” Holly said, and Will let out a quick sigh. She’d clocked the dude-lash thing but not Will talking in detail about his best friend’s lips?
“Anyways, underneath the nose, you can add a little rounded triangle. That’s called the Cupid’s bow. It’ll help you shape out the peak of the top lip.”
Holly’s brow was furrowed, working diligently. “Do I color in- I mean shade the mouth?” She said, using the specific word Will had taught her when they’d both been sketching an apple in pencil.
“Yeah, you do! Start soft, with rounded, vertical strokes. That’s how the uh… hold up, I don’t actually know the word for this.” Will paused. “Skin pattern?”
Holly burst into giggles again. “Skin pattern! Like lizard skin!”
Will giggled a little too, having no idea where she’d gotten that from. Mike with lizard skin lips. Huh. That would suck to kiss.
Not that Will ever would. Kiss Mike’s lizard lips, that is. Or kiss Mike with his own human lips at all.
When Holly was done with the mouth she stared down. “He needs hair.” She said. “Hair’s totally my favorite part.”
“Right. We don’t need bald Mike.” Will nodded. “I trust you know how to draw hair? My only tip is to shape it out first instead of drawing the individual strands.”
“Then shade?”
“Exactly.”
“Remember when he tried to get an orange Mohawk?” Holly said and Will grinned.
“Oh yeah. He was so adamant on it too. It was all he talked about for like, three weeks.”
“Did you know Nancy caught him with a box of orange hair dye, a razor, and bleach in the bathroom?”
Will’s jaw dropped. “You mean he actually bought the stuff?” He hadn’t heard this at all, Mike had just dropped the idea one day, giving not much more context than Nancy being annoying about it.
“Yup. He was, like, seconds away from actually doing it. Nancy almost killed him but it was good she caught him ‘cause I think Dad would’ve actually killed him.”
Yeah, that’s because it’s too queer a choice for a Wheeler, Will thought. Ted could barely handle Mike’s long hair before he’d cut it.
“I like his hair like it is now.” Holly said.
“Yeah.” Will smiled, thinking about Mike’s soft curls, falling over his face and ears. “Me too.”
“Hey, Will, do you want-” Mike Wheeler banged into the basement at that exact moment.
“Get out!” Will and Holly both yelled and a stunned Mike backed back into the kitchen.
The two artists dissolved into giggles.
Holly held up the portrait. “Whaddya think?” Seeing it finished, Will was actually thoroughly surprised at Holly’s skill. It was pretty damn good- it certainly looked like Mike Wheeler.
“Holly, I think you’re officially better than I ever was at your age. This is so cool.” Will grinned.
Holly looked down shyly. “Really?”
“Oh yeah. He just needs one thing.”
“What?”
“Freckles.”
Holly grinned. “Right! I forgot.” She started making little precise dots on Mike’s cheeks, before looking back up at Will. “But you didn’t forget. This actually looks like Mike and you didn’t even have a picture of him. How do you remember him so well?”
Will felt himself going red at the ears. “Uh. I mean, we’re best friends. I’ve spent a really long time looking at your brothers’ face.”
That wasn’t incriminating at all.
He couldn’t tell her that he’d spent hours memorizing each and every one of Mike’s features, every line, every shadow. The way his eyes looked when he was excited, shining and eager. The way the side of his lip raised and his nose scrunched up when he was annoyed. The way his mouth tightened when he was nervous, or how his brows drew together when he was worried.
Holly made a face. “I guess. Do you draw him a lot?”
Will cleared his throat. Yes. Very much so. Pages and pages. “Sure, some. I draw all my friends.”
Holly smiled. “Well, they don’t deserve you. Thanks for doing this, Will, I mean it. You’re super fun.”
“You’re super fun too, Holly.” Will said.
Holly’s expression grew complicated. “It’s just… what he doesn’t like it? What if he thinks it’s stupid?”
“Hey. He’ll love it.”
“Pinky promise?” Holly held out her finger.
“Pinky promise.” Will swore. “Now go write something nice on the back of that for his birthday.”
Holly looked put out. “Something nice?!” She groaned. “What an assignment.” She disappeared up the stairs.
Will, finally inspired, had work to do.
-
On the day of Mike’s birthday, Holly didn’t give Mike his present with the rest of her family- she pulled him away after supper instead, nervously beckoning Will to follow.
They met in the basement. Will felt like maybe he shouldn’t be there, but if Holly was scared then he was happy to stay.
“Mike. I um, wanted to give you your present now, because, um…” Holly looked down shyly. “It’s not something fancy like the games Nancy got you or the clothes from Mom. So I was kind of embarrassed, but...” She looked up to Will, who just nodded encouragingly. She held out her drawing.
Mike’s face lit up. “Woah, Holly- this is insane!”
“Happy birthday,” Holly smiled, still shy. “I know it’s not much, but-”
Mike grabbed her by the shoulder. “Dude. Art from my favorite sister? C’mon.” He pulled her into a hug. “This means the world to me, Hols. I kinda want to put it on the fridge or something, like Mom does.”
Holly pulled away. “Ew! Please no. Absolutely not.”
Mike smiled harder. “Just joking. But seriously, how- this looks just like me!”
“Will- it was all Will. That’s why I brought him. He helped me.”
Mike grinned at Will. “Of course my artists are working together.”
It was an off-hand comment but Will felt his heart pound in his chest. His artist. “Holly’s a really fast learner. She drew everything, I just gave her tips. She’s the real artist.”
“You should be an art teacher, Will.” Holly said suddenly. “You’re so much cooler than Mrs. Everett.” She pulled a face. “And you know your stuff, like, really well.” She leaned in to whisper something in Mike’s ear.
Mike’s eyes widened, flickering quickly to Will and then back to Holly, who was standing looking self-satisfied.
“Well!” She said suddenly. “I have to call Claire. It’s an emergency related to her cat, he’s like, scared of dogs. See ya!” She bounded up the stairs.
Mike was still pouring over the paper. He flipped it over. On the back it read:
To my idiot brother: happy birthday, get a new face.
Mike chuckled, but he looked a little like he might cry. “This is like- god, you two are both so talented. It’s so cool.”
Will blushed. “Your sister is super cool.”
“She loves you, Will. I know I joke about it a lot, but she looks up to you so much, it’s- thank you.”
“Don’t thank me. I like having a little sister.”
Mike was actually crying a little now. “Dude.” He said. “Dude.” He sat down on the couch with his head in his hands. Will sat beside him. “Sixteen. It’s like- It’s like we’re really not kids anymore.”
“Hey,” Will put a hand on his back. “We have time.”
Mike took a shaky breath. “Right. It’s just- fuck, I’m so lucky to have you.” The words came out of nowhere. He fell into Will, pressing his face in the crook of his neck and Will almost stopped breathing. Mike’s nose was cold. His breath was warm. He wrapped his arms around Mike awkwardly.
Those words mean everything.
“Mike. You’re okay. It’s okay.”
“I know,” Mike sniffed into his shirt. “I just don’t want time to fuck everything up. It’s fucked things up really bad before and I…I mean, if we get out of this hell that is Hawkins alive, we’re gonna go to college and become real life, living, breathing people and we’ll all forget about each other and I just- I wanna be friends forever.”
Will let out a little laugh despite the way his chest ached with warmth and love.
“Shut up.” Mike mumbled into his shirt.
“I want to be friends forever too, Mike.” Will said genuinely. “You’re not losing me. And I’m not forgetting you.”
“Okay.” Mike pulled away. “Promise?”
“I swear.” Will said firmly, then had an idea.
He’d been planning on giving Mike his present alongside Lucas, Dustin, and El tomorrow at their own little birthday gathering, but what could a day earlier hurt? Today was Mike’s actual birthday, anyhow.
“Hey, I was gonna wait for tomorrow, but do you maybe want half your gift now?” He’d save the comic for the party.
Mike grinned, suddenly looking slightly less doomed. “Are you kidding? Obviously I want half my gift now, Will. I want my whole gift now!”
Will clicked his tongue. “Too bad. I’d hate to be the asshole tomorrow, showing up with no gift. Patience is a-”
“A virtue, whatever,” Mike rolled his eyes. “Fine. Half.”
“Cool. Give me a second.” Will stood and walked over to the old bureau where he and Jonathan kept their clothes. He opened a drawer and pulled out a package, handing it to Mike and sitting back down.
Mike immediately tore off the wrapping in true Mike-fashion, but gently handled the piece of paper he found beneath. “Christ, Will.”
Giving Mike art scared Will now. He was perpetually anxious the painting would be brought up, and his lies exposed. But he couldn’t go a birthday without making Mike something. And it’d been a year. So Will had spent the last three nights hunched over this piece.
It was an inked watercolor. In it, Mike’s D&D character, clad in armour, sat beneath a majestic oak tree with his helmet under one arm, looking out into the sunset. His shield, the sliver of a heart just peaking out from its position, leaned against Mike’s Paladin’s knee.
All Will could hear was Mike’s trembling inhale.
“I thought it might be good for right now. I mean, even Paladins slow down, Mike. You’re always gonna get the chance to slow down, even when we’re real life people, like you said. And you can always come back to this. D&D, storytelling, childhood-”
Me.
“-the Party, your family, all of it. It’s always, always gonna be there. Even if you forget little things, everyone does, the feelings stay.”
Mike had tears streaming down his face. “I- I don’t know what to say.”
“You don’t have to say anything at all.” Will whispered, suprised. Mike didn’t cry much. Lucas, Dustin, especially Will- all of them cried a lot more now. Mike tended to shut off instead. He’d told Will once, one late night down in the basement, that when he was sad or scared or worried, sometimes he'd space so far out of his own head that nothing felt real when he came back.
Some part of Will was relieved that Mike could still cry like he could when they were kids.
Mike pulled him into the tightest hug possible, which Will reciprocated in an instant, holding him but also allowing himself to be held. Mike's fingers clutched at his sweater. Will sunk into him.
“You're- this is incredible. Thank you, Will.”
“Always.”