Chapter Text
When Jay wakes up the day before his birthday, he expects it to be a typical day. They would probably catch a case, he’d spend most of the day at work, and the guys would insist on staying late into the night to make sure they closed the case either that day or the next. They would tell Jay to go home, that they could handle it, but he would stay, because even though Adam and Kevin were great cops, Jay still had to check over their paperwork. Adam never used spellcheck. Jay doesn’t mind, though. He would happily work on his birthday, anything to distract him from the onslaught of bad memories that are associated with the day.
So when they catch a bank robbery in the middle of his breakfast with Erin, he isn’t surprised. He’s somewhat relieved, thankful that working in Intelligence has lived up to expectations and given him a distraction.
What he doesn’t expect is hearing his ex-girlfriend’s voice at the crime scene.
Jay chokes on air when he hears her. Eight and a half years, and her voice still takes his breath away. He spins around almost instantly, although there isn’t any doubt in his mind as to who it is.
Hailey.
His first proper, true love. Standing in a credit union, barking orders at the surrounding cops. God, Jay hadn’t even known that she’d joined the police. She had always talked about it, it had been her dream job since she was a kid, Jay knows. But she hadn’t had the chance when they were together, and after their relationship crashed and burned, well.
Then Jay preferred not to think about Hailey at all.
There are moments when he does, of course there are. Specific days of the year. Cases where kids got hurt. The first time he met Platt. But still, eight and a half years later, he pushes all thoughts of Hailey into a box in the corner of his mind as often as he can. A box that he is struggling to keep closed as he takes her in.
Hailey still looks the same. That is his first thought. Still looks like the nineteen year old he met in a bar whilst on leave. She’s aged, of course she has, and she wears her hair differently, but her eyes are the same. Eyes that stubbornly refuse to look at him, though Jay couldn’t tell if that is because she has seen him or if she just hasn’t noticed him yet.
He hasn’t really been paying attention to what she is saying, but as he tunes back into the conversation, he immediately recognizes her tone. Hailey is arguing. With Voight. Jay knows that is a bad idea, has learned that over the years, but he couldn't help but feel an odd, misplaced sense of pride. Hailey holds Voight’s gaze, something many seasoned cops are too afraid to do, telling him firmly what she wants to happen.
As she moves past Voight, Jay is finally able to catch her eye. He can tell when she sees him, can see when her eyes widen almost imperceptibly. Unnoticeable to most people, but not to Jay, who spent countless days and nights studying her face. Hailey doesn’t let it stop her though, and as soon as she has come she is gone.
His eyes still follow her as she takes control of the scene, and it takes him a moment to remember that he shouldn’t be staring at his ex-girlfriend. It doesn’t seem like Erin has noticed, but Jay forces himself to act normal as Voight orders them back to the district. It isn’t until he’s behind the wheel that he realizes what is going to happen. Voight won’t let the case go, Voight never does.
That means he’s going to be working with Hailey. The day before his birthday.
God, he’s so screwed.
Jay’s suspicions are correct. By the time he and Erin get back to the district, the others have already taken over the whiteboard with information about the case. He ends up chasing a lead based on the cell jammer they found, calling up one of his least favorite C.I.s to try and trace it. He gets some information, which at least means he has something to give Voight. When the sergeant finally does show up, he’s angry, Jay can tell immediately, and that is only proven when he tells everyone that they’re still working the case even though it’s not technically theirs.
They’re giving Voight a rundown when he hears someone coming up the stairs. He doesn’t pay attention to it, assuming it’s Platt or someone from Patrol giving them information, and instead continues listening to Voight and Adam as he poses a question.
He realizes very quickly that he made a mistake.
“Credit unions.” Hailey’s voice is clear and firm, just like he remembers. Everyone turns to look at her, and Jay can hear Adam and Kevin start whispering to each other. She’s with Platt and the Chief, staring down Voight with the same glare she used to give Jay when he had forgotten to do the dishes. Voight could do with being taken down a peg, Jay thinks, and he knows Hailey can do it.
Again, he finds himself barely registering the words that are exchanged, instead just looking at Hailey, until she accidentally shoves Platt and makes her spill her coffee over herself. He hears Adam attempt to stifle a laugh, sees Erin smirk slightly behind her own cup of coffee. But Jay, he just watches. Unlike the others, he knows what Platt means to Hailey. Hailey hasn’t recognized her yet, Jay doesn't think, there would be far, far more apologizing if she had, and Jay can’t help but hope that Hailey sticks around long enough to figure it out.
When she disappears into Voight’s office, they all go back to their work and pretend not to listen to the raised voices coming from within. It’s very quickly obvious that the Chief is giving them the case, and as soon as he hears Voight’s tone change to one of dismissal, he’s out of his chair. He mutters some excuse to the room, but he is more focused on slipping down the back staircase and getting to the parking lot.
When Jay gets there, he can’t be sure which car is Hailey’s, but he takes a guess and leans against one of the unfamiliar vehicles. It’s in a spot at the back corner of the lot, somewhere the staff of the 21st District don’t usually park due to its proximity to the dumpsters. His guess is proven right when Hailey appears, head down and storming towards the car. She doesn’t look up, instead rummaging in her coat pocket, presumably for her keys. Jay pushes himself off the car when she gets close, clearing his throat quietly. Her head snaps up, her eyes meeting his almost immediately.
“Hey, Hailey.” Jay says quietly, a small smile on his face. It takes a moment for Hailey to reply, a moment where she just stares at him.
“Jay,” she finally says, “what are you doing here?”
“Well, unlike you, I actually work here.”
"Jay.” She rolls her eyes, but he sees the corner of her mouth flicker, the way it does when she’s trying to hide a smile. “I mean, why are you out here?”
“Figured we should talk.” Hailey chuckles, looking down at her feet.
“We should, yeah. But not today.” Jay’s smile fades. “Your boss just pissed me off, so if we talk right now I’m just going to start an argument.” She looks back up. “And I don’t want to argue with you when it’s your birthday tomorrow.”
“You remembered?”
“Of course I did, Jay.” They just sort of stare at each other for a few seconds, before Jay reaches into his pocket and pulls out one of his cards and a pen.
“My number is on here, and I’ll write my address in the back.” His hands are shaking slightly, making his handwriting even less legible than normal, but he knows Hailey will be able to read it. “Whenever you want to talk, come find me?” He holds out the card, and Hailey nods as she takes it.
“It’s nice to see you, Jay.”
“You too,” he almost whispers, and there’s another moment of silence. Hailey finally breaks it, finding her keys and moving to get in the car. Jay steps back, glancing at his watch to make sure he hasn’t been gone too long.
“Happy Birthday, Jay.” Hailey says, standing behind the open door.
“Thanks, Hailey.” He gives her a nod, before turning and walking back into the district. He doesn’t turn around, doesn’t allow himself another glance, instead jogging back up the stairs and into the bullpen.
Erin gives him a questioning look when he gets back, and he just waves his phone and mouths ‘C.I.’ at her, hoping it is a good enough explanation. He feels slightly bad about lying to her, but his and Hailey’s history is complicated and messy and not something he wants to talk about. Erin already knows about her in theory, Jay had mentioned once that before her he’d only had one long term relationship, and that it had lasted almost two years. Jay doesn’t feel the need to clarify that the girl he was talking about back then is the same detective that she just met.
He ends up scouring footage for hours, while Olinsky and Adam go and question the guy who sold the cell jammer. He keeps getting distracted with thoughts of Hailey, memories resurfacing after years of stubbornly not thinking about her, and finds himself staring into space on multiple occasions. Erin writes up their report from that morning, occasionally coming over to Jay’s desk to get him to sign something. They don’t talk much, but they never do at work, not with Voight looming over them. Eventually, Adam calls with a name, and they get to work planning a raid. Jay lets himself get immersed in the work, banishing all thoughts of Hailey from his mind, and just focuses on solving this case.
The raid gets them nothing, which as always leaves Jay pissed off. On top of that, he has what feels like every single person in the district wishing him a happy birthday, something which he thinks might be Platt’s doing, and then he has to spend his morning going through Hailey’s files. Seeing her handwriting makes his heart clench, so much so that he passes off most of the handwritten stuff to the others. Eventually, Adam comes up with something, and Jay and Erin are sent to a credit union downtown to view security footage.
The car ride is unusually quiet. Jay has the radio playing quietly, like he always does if they’re not in an emergency. It’s a habit he picked up from Hailey, back when they shared a car. Erin glances at him every few seconds, like she is trying to decide what to say. Jay also has no idea what to say. They’re not together, but they also kind of are, and it’s all just awkward. Not to mention the return of his ex-girlfriend. He’s sort of glad that Erin isn’t trying to talk to him.
And then when they’re inside the bank, they start getting shot at, and his questionable relationship status is the least of his worries. They immerse themselves in the case, and suddenly everyone had forgotten that it’s Jay’s birthday. They work late into the night, Adam telling him they’ll have a drink after the case is done, and Voight finally forces them all to go home around eleven. Jay doesn’t do much other than collapse in his bed when he gets home, exhaustion weighing him down, only keeping his eyes open long enough to reply to Will’s text about getting dinner together that weekend.
They get a break in the case the next day, kind of. Hailey shows up, and Jay assumes that Voight finally realized that they know much less about the case than Hailey does. They don’t talk, don’t even really glance at each other, but Jay doesn't really mind, content waiting for Hailey to reach out. But then Voight assigns him and Olinksy to surveillance duty, and Hailey agrees to go with them, and suddenly he’s in a van with his ex-girlfriend and his most perceptive colleague, watching their suspect.
They all sit in relative silence for a while, the only sounds being the camera shutter as Hailey takes pictures. The quiet hangs over them, oppressive and thick, and Jay finds himself saying something to break it.
“Got to admit,” he says, watching the suspect, “there’s something inspiring about this guy not letting his bum leg ruin his American dream.” He hears Hailey chuckle behind him, and fights to keep a smile off his face. He always did love to make her laugh.
“Sense of humour?” Hailey says, rolling her stool over to the other side of the van. “Don’t get that much on my current unit.” Jay knows she’s telling the truth, he has dealt with the Robbery-Homicide guys enough times to know that they are boring at the best of times.
“Rumor has it you were meritoriously promoted to detective - is that right?” He had heard Erin mention it to Kevin; she had probably made some calls as soon as she met Hailey.
“Yeah that’s right.” Hailey says abruptly, the same way she used to when she wanted Jay to stop talking about something. She used that tone a lot towards the end of their relationship.
“What, you shake your feathers in front of the right commander,” Olinsky says, pushing as he always does, “or is your uncle an alderman?”
“I was undercover for a year.” Hailey says, a tinge of pride seeping into her voice. “So, put that in your pipe and smoke it.”
“Would you like to elaborate on this UC case for us?” Jay asks, a part of him desperate to know what Hailey has been doing in the eight and a half years they haven’t seen each other.
“I would love to,” she says sarcastically, “but I'm under a gag order from the AUSA’s office.” Jay and Olinsky glance at each other, both thinking the same thing. The cases that aren’t talked about are the big cases. She definitely earned that promotion. “It’s still being adjudicated. The US attorney’s office made it very clear: if I talk, I get fired. and no offense, but this is the first time in the back of your van.”
He wants to ask more questions, wants to know as much as he can about the life she’s lived without him, but before he can, their suspect finally makes a move, and he has to slip back into work mode.
Jay forces himself not to seek out Hailey at the district. They are all following leads, trying to get enough evidence for an arrest, and he falls back into the monotony of it easily. He’s been a cop for long enough that it comes as second nature, and he can kind of turn his brain off somewhat. Hailey isn’t in the bullpen, he thinks that Adam or someone got her setup elsewhere, so he doesn’t have the distraction of seeing her out of the corner of his eye constantly.
Hailey is the one who finds something, and Jay immediately volunteers himself to lead the raid to arrest the guy. The sooner they solve this case, the sooner he and Hailey can have their long overdue talk, and he needs that to happen, if only to stop him from being constantly distracted. The raid goes as it always does, and he spends several hours afterwards writing up the relevant paperwork. Hailey is still in the building as he finishes up, he hears Adam call out a goodbye to her as he leaves, but Jay hasn’t seen her since he left for the raid.
He doesn’t intend to go and find her. He wants to follow her lead, let her decide when she’s ready to call him, but then as he’s shrugging on his jacket to head to Molly’s, Voight sticks his head out of his office.
“Halstead,” he says, making Jay pause his movements, “is Upton still around?”
“As far as I know, yeah.”
“If you find her, tell her to come see me.” He nods at Voight, who leaves the door open but sits behind his desk. Jay finishes grabbing his stuff, and starts looking for Hailey in each room he passes.
He finds her in the locker room, sitting on one of the benches looking at her phone. A light knock on the doorframe causes her to look up, slipping her phone back into her pocket.
“Jay, hey,” she says, “do you need something?”
“No, I’m just leaving,” he says, walking to stand in front of her, “but Voight wants to see you.”
“Great,” she mutters, as Jay leans against one of the lockers.
“He’s not that bad. Plus, he left his door open, which means he’s not planning on raising his voice.” Hailey looks at him with raised eyebrows.
“Really? You can tell all that from a door?”
“After working for him for almost four years? Yeah.” She laughs quietly.
“Actually,” Hailey says, “I have a bone to pick with you.” Jay looks at her, confusion evident on his face. “You couldn’t have warned me that your desk sergeant is Trudy Platt?” Jay throws his head back with a sharp laugh.
“By the time I got you alone, you had already got coffee all over her.” Jay says, a large smile on his face. “And I thought you’d want to find out for yourself.” Hailey rolls her eyes and starts gathering up her stuff. “Did Platt recognize you?”
“Nope. But I was still a kid when she met me, so.” Hailey stands, the two of them only a foot or so apart. “I should go talk to Voight.”
“Yeah, you don’t want to keep him waiting. Trust me.”
“I’ll call you. In a few days, probably, but I will. I promise.”
“I’ll be waiting.” They smile at each other, and then Hailey leaves, Jay tracking her movements. He should leave, get to Molly’s where everyone is waiting for him, but he instead just takes a moment. Thinks about things. He could potentially have Hailey back in his life. He isn’t sure what their relationship would look like, maybe friends, maybe just amicable exes, but whatever it is, he doesn’t care.
Hailey was the best thing to ever happen to him, and he’s not letting her leave again too easily.