Chapter Text
Robert wasn’t exactly sure whose idea it was to have Waterboy, Flambae, and Prism all crammed into his barely-functional Honda Civic, but he was definitely sure that no one present liked it. The air conditioning didn’t work great, and with Flambae pissed off about not getting shotgun—
Backtrack.
They had determined that it was only fair, as Flambae himself said, that the tallest person should have the shotgun seat. To which Prism responded by telling Waterboy to actually stand up all the way. It was a little bit unnerving just how much height he gained just unfurling his shoulders.
Flambae could argue all he wanted, but it was the principle of the matter and Prism wasn’t letting it go, even though Waterboy said it was fine, probably mostly because she had fun pissing Flambae off. Waterboy, in all honesty, looked like he would rather be crammed into the trunk than be in the middle of the argument unfolding, even though Robert was fairly sure Prism and Flambae weren’t actually mad at each other, let alone him. While they bickered, he got started looking at the address Mandy had forwarded him.
Oh, yeah, because this was going to be a multi-hour road trip— hence Flambae not flying. He was pretty sure one of them at least was going to die.
Eventually, though he was absolutely not happy about it, Flambae conceded, and they all climbed in— Waterboy in shotgun, Prism behind him, and Flambae behind Robert on the drivers side.
“Flambae, stop pouting. It’s hot enough in here already.”
“I am not pouting.”
Prism scoffed. “Girl, be for real— you are one hundred percent pouting.”
“Am not.”
Robert sighed— this was about to be the longest car ride ever. Of all time. When he came to a stop again because of course, LA traffic, he fished around for the aux cord, handing it over to Water— he should really probably be using normal names right now. He handed it over to Herman.
“Here, put some music on.”
If he had thought about who he was handing it to for more than three seconds, he would have seen his mistake. Herman took the cord, tense, eyeing it like it was a venomous snake.
“W-what should I? T-type of, um. Music. Play. Sir.”
“One, drop the ‘sir,’ while we are getting paid for this whole…” Robert waved his hand. “…thing, we’re not at work. Two, I honestly do not care— put on whatever.”
“Th-that’s— I don’t— um. S-s—“ He caught himself. “Robert, that st-still—st— doesn’t-t—“
“Oh my god, just put something on.” Flambae— Chad, snapped, certainly sounding like he was pouting.
Herman made an awful gurgling, bubbling noise as he connected his phone, but still didn’t put anything on.
“Hey, you know what— we’re basically on our way to work, right?” Robert tried to reason. “Just play… whatever music you would be listening to on your way to work.”
He had waterproof earbuds, after all, and he literally always had them with him. If he wasn’t working? He probably had his earbuds in.
“O-okay. It’s not, uh. Not exactly… road trip music.”
“It cannot be worse than listening to you speak.”
There was a noise from the backseat that he was pretty sure was Alice smacking Chad. “C’mon asshole, you know that was uncalled for.”
It got significantly warmer.
“Hey! Knock it off, no fighting, you two. And Chad, yeah— at least pretend like you’re gonna give him a chance.” Robert turned to Herman. “Road trip music is just whatever music you listen to on a roadtrip. Stop thinking about it so much, okay?”
“Okay. O-okay.” Herm swallowed. “Okay. B-but, um—“
“No ‘but’s, there are no wrong answers.”
He nodded and, after a shaky breath, pressed play.
The radio SCREAMED.
“Sorry!” Immediately Herman was scrambling to turn down the volume, until the screaming — still screaming, by the way — was at a reasonable level. “Didn’t— didn’t mean to. That. Sorry.”
And whatever Robert was expecting (he honestly had no clue), it was certainly not the hardcore death metal song now yelling through the speakers at a polite volume.
His shoulders were back to being all curled up, knees together, trying to make himself small as possible. “I can— um. S-s-something— else? Or if s-some— s— one of you, want t-to?”
“No, it’s… not what I expected, I won’t lie, but I’m not complaining.” Robert shrugged.
“Yeah— not my usual jam, but I dig it. Didn’t know you were emo like that, Slip’n’Slide.”
“It isn’t possible for you to be cool, Wet Floor Sign, and I think this is fucking awful, but…” Chad trailed off. “At least you didn’t choose something as basic and lame as you are.”
“Uh. Um. Th-thanks?”
“Boy, if you don’t snap out of that nasty fuckin’ attitude—“ Alice sighed. “What he means to say is that having your own music taste, beyond all that Top 40 bullshit, is pretty cool.”
Robert raised an eyebrow. “Aren’t you on the Top 40 list?”
“Can it, Bobbin.”
Chad scoffed. “If I meant that? I would have fucking said that, bitch. Your music just makes it even more obvious you were bullied as a kid.”
“Hell, the poor thing is bullied now.” Alice pointed out. “You can’t even let the boy speak without throwin’ a whole damn hissy fit.”
“I do not—“ He tsk’ed. “Throw a ‘whole damn hissy fit.’”
Robert chuckled. “Yeah, just half of one.”
“You— shut up, Bob-bob, you aren’t part of this.”
“We’re in a tiny, confined space. I couldn’t not be a part of this if I wanted to be. Which, for the record, I would rather not be a part of this.”
Herman curled even smaller, as if that was his fault, somehow? “I mean, he’s not. Um. Wrong.”
“Duh. I’m never wrong.” Chad huffed. “And we literally all agreed that he is the most bully-able person on the team.”
“I never said that was wrong.” He could practically hear Alice roll her eyes, at this point. “And… yeah. Baby, it ain’t exactly hard to see you were bullied-bullied, big time.”
“I m-mean. Being, um. Being wet all the time makes you kind of an easy target.”
Herman’s timid voice made it so much weirder that they were currently listening to his very much not timid music. All this time, when he’d been happily bobbing his head to his music, this was what he was listening to? What the fuck?
Chad snorted. “Yeah, no kidding. That shit is hilarious.”
“Nah, man. That shit’s mean.”
“N-no, he’s. Um. He’s right.” Herman pushed his wet hair out of his face. “It’s kinda funny, l-look—l— looking back. I mean, th-they did have to put my d-desk in a kiddie pool.”
Robert sucked in a breath, barely holding back a laugh at the image. He had no doubt kids were absolutely awful about it, but… it was kinda funny. Prism made a noise that made it pretty obvious she was holding back laughter, too.
Chad, not worrying about sparing feelings at all, did laugh. “Oh, man— oh, fuck, that is hilarious. Did it ever overflow?”
“…yeah.” As much as he was definitely trying to joke along, it was clear on Herman’s face that one was still a little more tender a wound. “At l-least. At least s-since I was. You know. Wet, n-no one really wanted to h-hurt me.”
Robert kept his eyes on the road because he had no idea what kind of response he’d have if he didn’t. “Wow. That is… really sad.”
“No kidding. No one messed with me because they didn’t want to risk being prematurely cremated.”
A little voice in the back of his head that sounded suspiciously like Courtney snickered about “prematurely” and “cream” being said one after the other.
“Yeah, and ain’t nobody wanna be friends with your ass, neither. Not unless they got the fire extinguisher as backup.”
Chad went quiet for a moment.
“Wait. For real?”
Robert could only compare to his own childhood— envying the kids with cool powers they could already use— but yeah, considering his emotional volatility as an adult? He couldn’t imagine he’d have wanted to play Pokémon with little Chad.
He recovered quickly though, of course, with another scoff. “They were a bunch of pussies— I wouldn’t want to be friends with them, anyway.
“I think Sonar would call that ‘Copium.’”
“I think Bat-boner isn’t here, Bob-bob, so maybe shut the fuck up.” He hissed. “I’m not ‘coping’ with shit. Everyone was just too intimidated by me— teachers included. Always had to sit at the front of the class so they could keep the fucking fire extinguisher ready. Imagine being that scared of a grade schooler— so embarrassing for them.”
Everyone was too afraid of him and his bad temper, no doubt, to get any closer than necessary without protecting themselves, Robert translated in his head. To the point he had to sit in the front the class because it was a matter of when, not if, he would burst into flames over something.
“Yeah. That does sound… pretty embarrassing.” Robert agreed.
“Did it. Um.” Herman turned in his seat to face the back more meaning that, at the very least, he wasn’t trying to disappear. “F-fire. P-proofing. D-did it take a while to f-figure out? Um. Not that it— I mean—“
“Eh, fire powers aren’t all that uncommon— fabric wasn’t too hard to find. And besides, now I am very good at sewing.”
“Can attest to that!” Alice held up her phone. “Look at this shit— he made it! I was skeptical that he’d wind up puttin’ me in some getup that’d make me look like an actor in a gay superhero porno, but—“
“Shut the fuck up, you didn’t doubt me for a second.”
“I ordered a backup option.” She flicked through a few photos, probably— Robert wasn’t looking. “What do you think, Waterpark— how good do I look?”
Herman made a choking noise. “V-very. Um. Good— you. Y-you look v-v-very p-pretty— or, um, nice? S-sorry— l-lovely. You look v-very lovely. Ma’am.”
“Alice, stop trying to kill him.”
“Oh come on, Mr. Dispatcher— I ain’t tryin’ to kill him. I’ll show you the pics later. I look good enough to eat in that dress. Thanks, Bae.”
“As if you aren’t always fucking stunning.” Chad sounded like he was smiling. “So yeah, I’m the best— and considering the fact that you still haven’t figured out how not to leave giant slippery-ass puddles everywhere you go… I can’t imagine you had such an easy time.”
While he could definitely have been less of an asshole about it, involving Herman in the conversation was actually surprisingly nice for Chad. Emphasis on the “for Chad” part.
Herman seemed to shrink again, but didn’t turn all the way back around in his seat. “Y-yeah, it took a lot of work to f-figure out s-some— someth-th— this. Suit. D-doesn’t work the best, but it’s, um. It’s the best it has been.”
“What’s so hard about it?” Alice asked. “They make plenty of fabric waterproof. Sounds pretty straightforward.”
“M-most. Um.” He took a deep breath. “Most clothes made to be waterproof are d-designed for th-the water to be on the outs— outside. But since, well. My p-powers—“
“Make you basically the human equivalent of a wet sponge?”
“Shut it, Zippo.” Her voice softened. “Yeah, most stuff keeps water out— like a raincoat. But you got the opposite problem.”
“Y-yeah. Yeah.” Herman nodded. “The s-suit has to keep water in, but it also can’t t-trap it all in there, or it’ll be like a w-water balloon.”
Robert nearly gagged imagining the physical sensation of wearing a water balloon. Gross.
“Walking around like an unpopped condom— except there is a leak, and that is why you are here.” Chad paused for a second, seemingly thinking through whatever nonsense he just said. “You were an accident. Bitch.”
“I—“ Herman tried to start, but cut himself off with his own laughter. “That’s—“
“Okay, it wasn’t that funny.” He grumbled.
Which… Robert had to agree with Chad there, but hearing Herm laugh off a joke made at his expense, seemingly genuinely, made him smile, too. He tended to take things so personally that a lot of Z-team’s humor — which was just straight up bullying each other, to be honest — was more hurtful than funny. Honestly, most anyone would; how many dispatchers had they driven off before him? But seeing him take Chad’s bullshit in stride…
It left a warm feeling in his chest.
“It wasn’t funny ‘cause of what you said, girl— it was funny because it was stupid as shit.”
“Whatever, whatever.”
Herman finally got his laughter under control, turning back to the conversation again. “S-some earlier versions had that problem, and it was… it was bad. Now I have small valves th-that I can release exc-ex— cess—ex—ess-ess— leftover. Water, from.”
Chad made a skeptical noise. “Isn’t that just the same fucking problem but with built in condom pops?”
“Do me a favor, Bae, and never say ‘condom pops’ like that again.” Alice shuddered. “Especially around you-know-who.”
“I second that.” Robert added over his shoulder. “I do not want to explain to HR why there are condom popsicles in the work freezer.”
“…knowing her, she’d probably get weird flavored ones. Disgusting.” Chad grimaced. “Enough penis-sickles. Continue.”
“Y-yeah. I, uh. Also. Agree. Gross.” Herman nodded. “But anyways, th-that’s why the suit is kinda, um. Kinda bulky? I know it’s going to, well. It doesn’t make sense to say the lining keeps me dry, because it, uh. Doesn’t. But there’s an inner lining that d-draws mois-mo-st— liquid. Away from me, and acts as ins— ins—“
He stopped, huffed a frustrated breath.
“No rush.” Robert assured him. “We’ve got… literal hours.”
Another deep breath, and he continued. “Ins— In-su-la-tion. Like a w-wetsuit? That also keeps all the water f-from just. Running into my legs. That gets… really gross.”
“Uh, yeah.” Alice agreed. “Stewing in your own bath water bubble? Nasty— I feel like I’ll get a UTI just thinkin’ about it too hard.”
“Y-yeah. Yeah, not… not fun.” Herman shuddered. “I only, uh. Only really got it f-figured out a c-couple years ago, when I was st-still in s-school.”
“Wait, wait.” She stopped everything. “Freeze frame— how old are you?”
“T-twenty four?” He thought about that a second. “College! St-st— in college! Not— I’m not th-that young.”
“Phew— good. Almost felt bad for a second there.”
“You seem younger.” Chad said.
“Uh, th-thank… you…?”
“Not a compliment.”
“Oh. O-okay.”
“I swear to god, Chad-ow the Hedgehog—“
Robert choked out a laugh. Herm snickered. Alice was straight up cackling.
“Do not fucking call me that! Stop laughing!”
“Your face! Ha— if I only got a picture—!”
“Ha ha, fuck you.” Chad was definitely pouting again. “Bitch.”
“Sh-sha-sh—“
The car was very warm, very quickly.
“Don’t fucking ‘shush’ me, Swamp-ass-boy!”
Robert checked his mirror to make sure he wasn’t literally on fire. Thankfully, he wasn’t— but there was still enough smoke he rolled the window down before it became a real problem.
“Wasn’t! Was— didn’t— w— sorry—!” Herman flinched, curling up as much as he could without taking his eyes off of him. “Th-the hedge-edge— hog! Sh-sh-shad-shadow. Sh-shadow.”
“Oh.” Chad went very quiet, no longer producing waves of heat. “My bad.”
He could hear the smile in Alice’s voice. “Should I get the fire extinguisher?”
“I th-think I am. The f-fire exting-ex—“ Herman tried, but ultimately just sighed. “You get the p-point.”
“Yeah. He is the fire extinguisher.” Robert agreed. “Why do you think we were split up like this?”
It hadn’t made that much sense at first, considering the absolute chaos, but Robert had to admit this was probably the best management of said chaos one could hope for. He managed them all well enough, he hoped, Chad and Alice got along so the fighting was mostly just jokes, and when all else failed, well?
Herman was the fire extinguisher.
“In my defense, if he were actually fucking shushing me? I would have been completely justified for frying that fish.”
“…girl, you know damn well if Hermit the Frog here was shushing you it’d have to be for a pretty fuckin’ good reason.”
“…Why are you siding with him so much.” Chad was definitely right back to pouting.
“‘Cause he don’t stand up for himself! We both know a stacked fight’s no fun.” Alice reminded. “‘Sides, you may be my bestie, but that doesn’t mean I don’t have other friends.”
Herman sat straight up so quick it actually startled him. “I’m your friend!?”
…Robert was not going to comment on how sad it was that he was so excited about that…
…mostly because he knew Chad would. “Dude. You could not be more pathetic.”
“Duh, you’re my friend, you overgrown pool noodle!” She reached up between the seats to bat him on the arm. “Why the fuck else would I hang out with you? I’m not lookin’ to do charity— I’m a hero, but I’ve got my limits. If I didn’t like hangin’ out with your damp ass? I wouldn’t.”
Robert was pretty sure there were at least two insults in there, but that did nothing to make Herman any less excited.
“Cutie. You’re like a fuckin’ puppy, you know that? If I knew calling you my friend would get you acting like Beef when somebody says ‘treat,’ I’d’ve done it a lot sooner.”
He went so bright red he could’ve shared makeup with Malevola.
“Alice, I thought I told you not to try to kill Herm.”
“It’s, um. I’m okay with— Sir— Robert, with her. K-killing me.”
Chad and Alice exchanged a weird look.
“Don’t—“ Robert sighed. “Don’t say that.”
“I don’t— uh, not mean— literally, I—“
“…I get it.” Chad said, quiet enough that it was probably just to Alice. “You’re a freak, but I get it.”
“See? I knew you would—“ She turned from Chad to Robert. “And don’t worry, Mr. Dispatcher— I’ll have him back by nine.”
Herm squeaked.
“…I don’t think I want to know what’s going on here.”
“It’s pretty fucking obvious, Bob-bob.”
“And?”
Who knew how much the team said were jokes and how much was genuine?
“…fair, actually.”
“Now, I believe you were saying somethin’ about Shadow the Hedgehog, before Sparky here blew his fuse?”
Though… the tone Alice used with Herm, while much gentler than her normal speaking voice, wasn’t patronizing. If Robert thought she was flirting with him as a joke, that would be another thing entirely— but this seemed… sweet.
And, well. Herman was pretty cute when he got excited— in a totally normal to think about another teammate way. She was pretty spot on with the puppy comparison.
“I, oh, um— I f-forgot about… that. It’s not, important or—“
“Well, I wanna hear it. Can you tell me, baby?”
“Y-yes. Yes, ma’am.”
Chad mumbled something under his breath about her being “so down bad for this overcooked spaghetti looking rescue dog of a man.” She brushed him off.
“I w-was, just going to, um… say th-that he was always, uh.” He swallowed. “Always my f-favorite.”
“Thank you, cutie.” She patted him on the arm or hand or… something. Robert was literally driving he wasn’t paying that close of attention to whatever the fuck this was. “Hear that, Chadow? You got all pissy about it when Hermie was just about to say that he was his favorite.”
“…fits with the music.” Oh, right— and they were still listening to death metal. “Please tell me Wetwipe had a rebellious phase.”
“W-what counts as a rebellious phase?”
“Mm. If you have to ask that? Probably not.” Chad hummed. “Piercings? Tattoos?”
“J-just my ears, and no— I don’t know if, I could even, I mean even if I wanted to?”
“Ah, yeah. The whole ‘wet’ thing.”
“Wait— you’ve got your ears pierced?” Alice leaned forward. “How come I’ve never seen you wear earrings?”
“Piercings are a hazard in the field.” Robert said to the backseat, featuring the girl with earrings and the guy with… at least five piercings he knew of. “It’s a more practical choice.”
Herman nodded. “Y-yeah. That. And, I… I don’t know. I feel like they make me look like a girl? Not that there’s anything wrong with, I mean— g-girls are awesome! And, and gender, but st-still— and girls don’t have t-to be? F-fuck, sorry…”
“You are awful pretty.”
“The— I— um. Coming from, uh. C-coming from you?”
“Just take the compliment, bitch.” Alice rolled her eyes. “And Rob Bobbington the third, you know damn well I’m out here fighting with a wig and heels on— I’m well past the point of caring about my earrings being a hazard.”
Robert sighed. “…point taken.”
“I’m always. You, and M-Mal— Malel— Ma-Mav—“ Herman took a breath. “Mal. R-really impressed with— I’m always tripping in normal sh-shoes. You two f-fight and everything in heels like it’s nothing.”
She laughed. “True, I am that bitch— but it’s not so bad; you get used to ‘em, after a while. I hardly notice.”
“…M-maybe I’m j-just bad at walking in heels.”
“You’re bad at walking. End of sentence.”
“Bitch, I swear to god, I will snuff you out— and don’t think I’m skippin’ past that, Lilypad. You’ve worn heels before?”
Chad scoffed. “He’s gay. It’s like, a requirement, or something.”
“W-well, I’m, um. Bisexual. So.”
“Eh, gay enough.”
Robert tried to think back. “…you know, I don’t think that I have ever worn heels.”
“You’re gay? I thought that was just Bae’s wishful thinking.”
“Gay enough, apparently?”
“Bitch, you know it wasn’t just my wishful thinking—“ He seemed to realize what that implied. “Because the thinking is not wishful! What do you expect me to say? Wow, yet another depressed white twink with a bad attitude! What a win for the queer community! Fuck, no! I couldn’t care less what gender of people Rob-bob isn’t bedding because he’s too sad to get it up!”
“Mmhmm. That sounds like… a lot of not caring.”
“Shut the fuck up bitch I will end you.”
“Right— got it.” He could hear that wicked grin of hers. “And Boberto, we can get you in some pumps, don’t you worry.”
“I… really was not worrying. That sounds painful and I would honestly rather not.”
“Shut up, it’ll be fun.”
“I really doubt that.”
Alice ignored that. “And I won’t lie, with them baby giraffe legs of yours? Putting you in heels sounds downright dangerous.”
“Y-yeah. They don’t usually have v-very good. Traction.”
“That they do not— but like, besides that, how’d you feel? Did you like it?”
Herm blushed.
Chad leaned forward and put his hand on the back of the seat. “If you let her, she will treat you like a little doll or something. Play dress-up.”
If possible, he blushed harder. “I didn’t— um. It was a l-long time ago and. Didn’t, uh. I guess I dressed k-kind of… androgynous?”
“Oh, tell me there are pictures, please—“
“N-not, uh. Not good ones. Other than the, um. Slipping. The heels were… f-fine? I guess?” Herman shrank down a bit. “People are. S-some, um. Times. People are the worst, th-though.”
“Tell me about it.” Alice scoffed, but she didn’t follow that up with anything— a genuine request for him to tell her about it.
“W-when. It’s. B-being treated like a girl is. Really awful.” He admitted in a small voice. “A-and I know that’s j-just what it’s like for, for girls, but, um. People make jokes about, you know. Me. Always being wet. A-and when they th-thought I was a girl it was… way worse.”
“I will beat someone’s ass, I swear to god.” She seethed. “I mean, I grew up my whole life a girl— I can’t imagine being pitched right into that. They’ve all got opinions about your body, and they all think you’ve gotta know ‘em. Shit’s fucked.”
“Y-yeah. I mean, I guess…” Herman swallowed. “No, I… never mind. L-later, maybe?”
“Okay! No rush. Later is fine by me.”
He let out a sigh of relief. “B-but. Yeah. Already being so tall, heels. Kind of j-just. Make it worse.”
“It’s okay to take up space, you know that? Gonna get you standin’ proud eventually… but now I’m wondering just how tall we can make you— I mean, you are already one tall drink of water—“
Chad interrupted. “Boo! Corny as fuck!”
“And? Like I don’t know the sounds coming out of my own mouth?” She gestured toward Herm. “C’mon. Look how he’s blushing.”
Herman hid his face in his hands.
“See? Can you blame a girl for being a little corny?”
“I am absolutely still judging you.”
“Oh, like you got any legs to stand on? When I know what you’ve said about—“
“I have said nothing about no one and you know nothing about any of it!”
Alice laughed. “What the fuck—?”
“You are trying to blackmail me, but it won’t work. No one will believe you.”
“As if you aren’t the one lying your ass off?” She snorted. “Your pants are literally on fire half the time.”
“Don’t use meaningless expressions against me!”
“Girl, I will use…”
Robert tuned out their bickering, allowing it to mix with the screaming of heavy metal. He nudged Herman with his elbow, while the other two were distracted.
“Hm? Yes, Sir-r-Robert?”
Good enough.
“How are you holding up?”
“Uh, f-fine? Um, it’s not t-too hot or anything, why?”
“I meant more… socially? I know those two fuck-sticks can get pretty intense when all their attention is on one thing.” Robert sent him a look that, hopefully, conveyed that ‘one thing’ was definitely him.
Based on how he was blushing, he knew.
“It’s, um. I really, uh. Really d-don’t mind. It’s intense b-but, um… it feels. Safe. Mostly.”
He raised an eyebrow. “Mostly?”
“I mean, Fl— um. Chad. Isn’s th-the-threatening my life right now.” Herm smiled. “S-so. Pretty good?”
“What, do you want that to change, bitch?”
Chad apparently heard that, which wasn’t all that surprising considering the fact that they were all crammed into a fucking Honda Civic.
“N-not. Particularly.”
“Don’t be such a pussy.”
“Come on, leave pretty boy alone.” Alice sighed, exasperated. “What fun can you actually be getting out of doing that?”
“Eh. I like the spark of fear in his eyes before he rationalizes that everything is technically fine.”
Robert blinked hard, at a loss for what to even say to that. He looked over at Herman, questioning.
Herman… who gave him a little thumbs up, cheeks dusted in bright red again, a little smile on his lips.
Dear god, this man was going to get eaten alive and he was going to say please and thank you the whole fucking time.
Sighing, Robert just… gave him a nod. Wasn’t any of his business, other than technically kind of being their supervisor, but they weren’t really working, right now. And besides, from actually handling hero work well, to listening to some hardcore shit— Herm was full of surprises. He hoped that he’d get to learn more about him, as time went on.
Part of him hoped that all those surprises could end up predictable, well known and loved.
But, as of right now? Robert kept his eyes on the road.
Chad groaned. “Jesus Christ, how long is this going to take? How far out are we?”
“A long time, and a long ways.”
Alice snickered.
“Ha ha. That is not a funny or real answer, Bob-bob.” He leaned forward, looking over Robert’s shoulder. “Why are you driving so slow?”
He turned up the volume.
This was going to be. A really, really long drive.