Chapter Text
She shows me this song, "SLOW DANCING IN THE DARK" by Joji The music begins with a gentle pace, as if it is pulling you along. It feels like someone is forcing themselves to dance, even though they know the song is about to end. It feels both intimate and lonely. It's like loving someone with great intensity while realizing you're losing them. There’s this quiet voice that says both of you are emotionally gone while still physically close.
"You should be with him. I can't compete."
The lyrics hit home. I remember the other girls I've dated online. They blocked me with no explanation. They didn't tell me anything, not a word, nor a reason. Am I so unlovable? This time, I'm not looking for someone to love me. If she doesn't like me, then it's okay. There's always someone better than me. There probably is for her. Someone more handsome, more intelligent, more caring than me. Being her friend is enough for me.
As I'm holding my phone, nodding to the beat, something presses against me. I jump a tiny bit. My left arm stiffens. I dare not move an inch. It's her. I catch a small glimpse of her soft expression. Her eyelashes flutter, which are better seen now that she's resting. The slow rise and fall of her chest make her appear so adorable. I hear my own thoughts and look away. Her soft, gentle breaths are giving me butterflies. My heart pumps faster.
My friends notice and go wild, like they always do. They praise me for my rizz, saying, "Damn, Gyro, it's only been one week.". I can't help but give my thanks to Summer's dad for making her leave. If she were here, the whole class would hear about this. There are going to be pictures of us all over her phone. I don't want Rox to stress as it is.
My friends turn loud, celebrating this moment I have with her. They whisper things to each other. I look to her, then to them, then to her again. I try to explain what happened, but what comes out are incoherent stutters. She groans and pulls me closer to her. If my heart wasn't running a marathon before, now it is. My friends become louder. They laugh and tease me. I tell them to shush because she's sleeping. They raise their eyebrows and snicker. Still, they keep quiet.
I see her sleepy face every day in class. She bops her head up and down sometimes. She excuses it as dehydration, but I see her drink gallons of water after the fainting situation. Her health is worrying. Is it my fault? Is she so relaxed that she can lean on my shoulder, even now when she's vulnerable? Should she be this comfortable around me?
I let her sleep and move my neck to give her more space. I try to avoid looking at her face, but I hear quiet mumbles coming from her. She says something under her breath. Her eyebrows clench and her mouth opens. In a whisper, she says, "Please... Don't leave me... I-". Her closed eyelids tighten, making it seem like she's forcing herself not to see, not to wake up. There's a pit deep in my stomach. Is she really asleep?
I shake her awake. No response. Who is she talking about? What kind of dream is she having? Should I ask her? What if it's someone else? Is she dating someone? Or not dating someone anymore? Am I a rebound?
What did she experience to make her say something like that? And to say it so naturally too. What right do I have to be jealous? We've only met for one day. All the jokes we have and the sweet things she says were just her being nice. Nothing else. Why would she even like me?
A sound from her phone interrupts my thoughts. Someone is calling her. I shake her awake again, rougher this time.
"Hey, someone's calling you."
Her creased eyebrows return to normal. She rubs her eyes as I hand her back her phone. She mouths me a "thank you" with a yawn. She answers and her cousin's voice comes out. She's asking where she is and saying that her dad is already there. After she calms her down, she ends the call.
"Aww... I have to go home now..." she frowns her mouth, "Bye bye...".
"Noooo, don't go yet..." I beg playfully.
"Sorry, but my Lamborghini and fillet mignon is waiting for me... Goodbye, my subject!" she says tearfully as she swings her bag over her arm. I scream, "Noooo...!" while she walks past the classroom's window. She waves. My face can't hide the underlying curves of my mouth.
"Yieee, I think she likes you too, bro." one of them says. I shrug it off even when everything is exploding in my mind. I trust they won't try anything in front of her when she's with me, but fuck this is embarrassing.
She returned to normal so quickly. Did what happened to her really not affect her that bad or is she just good at hiding it? She still jokes with me while I'm here, with my heart beating and my mind racing. Who was she talking about?
After a few minutes, I go home too. I find my ride and all the people that are supposed to be here are here. We all sit and our driver gets ready to go. On the way to my house, the sun is halfway to the horizon. The sky is tinted red and yellow. The clouds are shaded pink and purple. The puddles on the side roads refract the sun. The wind pushes past the trees.
This good thing would end soon, just like everything else. I wonder if the time we have as friends will end soon too. The colors all look so warm, so calming, yet they can't relax the overthinking my brain is doing.
I take a picture. Is she seeing the same sunset as I am? Does she know she's as pretty as this sunset? Should I tell her?
The motorized tricycle stops at my house and I get off. Once I'm in, I take off my buttoned up white shirt, leaving my undershirt only. I fill a pot with uncooked rice and use water to rinse it. I run my fingers through the rice but accidentally pour a handful of it down the drain. My hands feel like they're not my own. I rinse properly 3 times before I fill it completely with water so the ratio of rice to water is 1:1. Then, I put it in the rice cooker.
I go outside and sweep. It's starting to turn darker by the minute. The buildings and houses are almost obscuring the sunlight. I send her the picture I took of the sunset. It's left as delivered. Did she pass out again? This girl. I hope she cares more for herself. She's so important but she doesn't see it.
I bet she feels like she's forced to text me. I miss her. Maybe the times she fell asleep were her just texting her other guy. But if it was, why couldn't she just say it? Is she playing with my feelings?
Ping
Helloasdsda
I home
Traffic is soooo tiring
That sunset is so prettyyy :3
I saw it toooo!!
Btw
What happened earlier?
When I went out I heard your friend's whisper
Did I do something... :((
I tap the notification that popped up on my screen. The same excitement and sanguinity I felt whenever she chatted come back to me. The broom I have falls to the ground while I use both of my hands to text her back with a smile.
HIIIIIIIII