Chapter Text
Being married off to a harbinger was an honor, well mainly in snezhnaya and among some rich people. Most would call it cruel to marry people off to what many people called cruel, cold, heartless monsters, such monsters couldn't love they would say. You were a special case, as much as you liked to believe your parents loved you, you were still here in this ballroom in Snezhnaya. Your eyes were fixed on your gown as you began to fidget, biting your lip like you were punishing them for bringing you here. You usually loved going to parties like this, the classical music, people waltzing and not to forget the food, but tonight it was different.
For once you struggled to gain an appetite for all those things when there was a hole being burnt into your skull by the person who had been staring at you since you came here.The 4th of the Fatui harbingers, sitting there like a big, bright red flag ; A constant reminder of your apparent disapproval from your parents. You always thought you were a good girl, You trained until your limbs fell off, performed every season in the biggest theater in Fontaine as a princeple ballerina, and had the people of Fontaine fawning in pure Idolatry. Barely anyone around you understood why you were being handed over, not even sold, handed over to the women staring at you. You briefly looked up at Her, but cursed at yourself for doing so because she certainly wasnt looking away like you convinced yourself she was.
In a moment of what could only be described as pure panic you rose from your seat to make an escape route, yet your only mistake had been that you had assumed that getting a glass of wine from the buffet should have involved escaping this scenario. As you felt the cool of the glasses press against your silk gloved hands to your own demise you heard not a woman's voice, but worse, the voice that belonged to your father. "[Y/N] I have someone I'd like to introduce to you. The Knave was so kind to invite us to this gathering that I see you're enjoying." How humours he thought he was, because you fidgeting and turning atleast 3 shades paler than your usual makeup shade was a typical sign of enjoyment. Though he didn't exactly look great either. "You truly have an odd sense of humor father." You'd murmur into your wine glass before taking another sip. You had attempted to look at the woman that loomed next to your father yet how could you do that even casually when she certainly wasn't even attempting to hide a gaze on you.
Yet you were forced to once her darkened hand grabbed your left one, her skin carrying a warmth no one who wasn't carrying a fever should have. "It's truly a pleasure to meet you Lady [Y/N]" She held your gaze as she kissed the back of your hand. Those eyes, a pair that you wanted to desperately look away from yet your curiousty kept you from fully doing so, not to mention the silk that was her voice which had your heart skipping beats.
You bit back a hiccup, though it truly took a pair of blind eyes to ignore how intoxicated you were at the moment. "Thank you for having me- us. You certainly have a exquisite taste in wine. May I ask how you know my father?" If it wasnt for the fact you swallowed up enough wine glasses you could have easily just drank up the entire wine bottle instead, you would have tried to convince her you weren't actively trying to do anything but talk to her, perhaps you had even smiled at her.but right now the alcohol had not only taken over your usual speaking pattern, it had appeared to have become its own presence.
"Well, a better question would be who doesn't know him. Such a accomplished man like him can hardly flee his spotlight." You watched your father sudddenly turn pale when she looked at him for confirmation before fleeing just like you failed to, claiming to have been called by his wife.
Thinking that would have distracted the woman infront of you, you too attempted to flee the scene yet she was certainely less forgiving with you. Her hand came up on the exposed skin of your shoulder. "You're seem rather tense, How about I escort you somwhere less crowded where-" "Oh I'm sure you'd want that dont you?'' You were quick to then slip into cowardice after that comment which you'd usually never utter outloud.
Arlecchino was left slightly caught off guard by your comment, yet was quick to recover. "Hm.." her eyes narrowed into smileless amusement at your words, she found it endearing, hearing you murmuring those words like they were secrets, you were too good to actually say something hurtful or insulting,instead you gently handed her a complaint.Thought you intended to leave the room and building completely, you unfortunately knew from the the annoyed gaze your father threw you as long as you avoided The Knave, you'd be here.
So you went for the champagne, throwing it back as your drunken imagination went wild. Due to your recent performance where you saw The Knave for the first time the music of the Dying swan played in your head as you began to drown in your morbid, drunken imagination. Those reflective eyes staring at you, unblinking. She sat in the audience, but with one quick scan of the room you saw she was the only one there. Those cursed eyes caused your dancing to waver under the pressure of them, even with multiple years of experience her gaze would squash any experience. In your drunken imagination the audience disappeared and the white spot light turned red as you finished your solo,hands would come up to your waist as you laid in your ending position, her nails breaking apart the ties of your corset with ease, her hands coming up to your lips to just feeling the skin before muffling your mouth with her index and middle finger as her teeth dug into the skin of your shoulder biting deeply. The impossible position you were in making it easy for her to keep you down, not that you were attempting to resist her, you hoped it was fear that had you frozen, but something deep within you knew it wasnt fear keeping you down.
You felt like a swan being attacked by a Serpent, coiling around your wings first, then the throat until baring its teeth and consuming you forcefully, violently and whole. she moved away, blood dripping down onto her clothes, her hands left your waist briefly to pick you up out of your position and to press your back against her front as one hand held your head up to dig into the other side of your neck, a sound leaving her mouth that you could only explain as feral. The other hand came in hot under your loosened corset and reaching for your breast, setting your skin on fire as a soundless gasp left your lips, a gasp that felt like breathing underwater, like suffocating. with her free hand she pulled your face towards hers after her teeth painfully left your skin. her eyes flickering dangerously as blood dripped down her chin, onto your white swan costume, before she leaned in and—
Then you shook awake from you morbid day dreaming, you weren't dealing with a cannibal, neither a vampire, you were dealing with a women who happened to like wearing the color red and black and not wear dresses like every other women in this room, it was that hint of soberness you needed in this moment before you demonized this women you barely knew. You coughed up the champagne and looked at it, wondering if someone put some kind of drug into it that made your usually not as morbid imagination create something that made your stomach churn this badly, well, you were rather confused on how you felt about it, because as much as you told yourself it scared you, the heat that you felt covering your body and flush your cheeks while you were in a cold ballroom told a different story you'd rather not acknowledge, because that meant you had to figure out why.
As if to put salt in the wound, you heard that voice behind you, the one that was just in your ear in your vivid fantasy but this time she looked at you softly, not carnally. Before she had even spoken you appeared to be near fainting right infront of her. She struggled to find the right words to start a sentence, because you looked like you had seen a ghost but your face and body temperature would have her thinking you were flustered. After a moment she decided silence was the best option.
Her hand landed on your waist as she tried to drag you away from the buffet with a uncharacteristic gentleness, you struggled, but minimally, your hands gripped hers as the cold silver of her rings pressed against your warm palm with a almost burning sensation. "I wasn't finished with that glass! let me go you.." Your words were mumbles at most, truly showing how unknown being defiant was to you. The Knave smiled barely as she began escorting you out the ballroom, which you didn't complain about again.
You soon found yourself in the comforting space that appeared to be the library, candle wax dripping on the ebony table you rested your head on. Drinking away your worries never worked for you because you just became more anxious when you did. The loud distorted version of the Dying swan your head had become quiet and instead the sensation of those nails you were so concerned of earlier now gently scratching your scalp while her fingers twirled curls of your hair.
"[Y/n], you truly should watch your drinking. Looking so pale and sickly doesn't look good on you." She whispered quietly, the words slipping into your ears and into the cracks of your brain like a choloform infused rag. You couldn't help but let out a "Hmm.." not because you were listening but because you wanted her to keep talking.
Now that you didn't react like a frightened animal the moment you heard her voice, she sounded, gentle, silky and unfortunately attractive. It hardly dawned on you that this was your first interaction with her however, or as far as you knew, because she treated you like she had known you for ages. your eyelashes began to feel heavy on your eyelids yet the tugging of her rings would make your eyes twitch awake again.
"Your rings.. do you always wear them?"
Your words were slurred as you laid there staring at the white candles burning up. “Yes,are they bothering you?" "No.." You lied, which she caught onto very quickly as she began taking them off. As soon as the sound of silver brushing against eachother reached your ears, her hands were back in your hair, carressing and playing with your hair like she had known you for ages. She stood by you until your heavy eyelids fell over your eyes, her hands gently resting on your shoulder, feeling your heart beat slow into soft thuds until she lifted you up.
So much for not trusting her huh?
You woke up awhile later, time had slipped away from your grasp and left you confused in a bed that wasn't yours. Mentally you felt like a memory being thorn away into the future as you sat there with plans for things you wanted to do at a ball that had long passed, still in the same gown from last night. The windows were cloaked with heavy black curtains, blocking out any kind of que of what time it was, you struggled out the bed, your eyes blinking away your sleep. You felt a slight relief at being dressed because that would mean there was a chance you didn't sleep with the person who slept in this room. You opened the curtains, your eyes narrowing with distaste as you saw the gloomy and snowy outside world.
It was too cold to worry about escaping this warm room, where the fire place cracked gently in the background. Only one thing that stopped you from sinking into the warmness of the room was your dress, without much thought you tugged in the laces of your dress your eyelids heavy with relaxation.
You were acting without thinking since you were already half way out your corset when you realised you weren't alone. "Lady [Y/N], I'd much more perfer if you kept your clothes on until Im out the room.." You gasped, realizing you were atleast 3 layers away from being chest out infront of The Knave, only then it began to make sense who's bedroom this was. You hesitated to even look behind you, as if not facing her would make the embarrassment any lesser.
Eventually you put on your clothes again, your eyebrows knit together with annoyance. "Well in my defense, I feel like you could have made your presence known way earlier than this." You complained in a weirdly polite manner that had her tilting her head, your body language compared to your words truly made you an amusing person to read.
"I was planning on discussing our agreement, Because as much as the others might love having their partners thrown into their hands like a frightened animal, Id much more perfer to make the intentions of this contract clear. Something I assume your paternal figures have denied you of."
She gently gestured to the empty arm chair with her right hand, a chair that looked like it could swallow you whole with its velvet cushions, her left hand holding a neat roll of paper with a white ribbon tied around it, the fire just barely illuminating her features.
You took a step forward, the soft sound of your stockings against the walnut wooden floors filling the silence until you sat in the chair,trying to not immediately lower your guard. After all you weren't planning on making your earlier weakness a returning occasion but she certainely made it easy.
She gently placed the contract on your lap but she wondered if you were actually planning on reading it with the way you were sitting there looking 5 minutes away from dozing off as you eyes gazed into the fire place. "Your parents insisted you'd stay here in snezhnaya but of course, if that doesn't satisfy you I won't force you to stay here, it would only create more inconvenience if I forced you to stay here with me." You looked at the contract, wondering if you actually wanted to see what was in there. A sigh escaped your lips before you untied the contract, unrolling it slowly. As you read over the words your calm expression quickly turned into one of bewilderment as the realisation came that this wasn't just a simple marriage agreement.
"You're taking the school and the house? But they didn't say that before–"
You realized you hadn't looked up at your "Partner" yet, but the looming fear of what you'd see held you back.
To your surprise The Knave wasn't covered in blood like your mind had convinced you she would be,but as if to make up for it, her scythe rested against the wall behind her.
She quickly realised you weren't going to continue your sentence when you stared at her like a deer in headlights,but she already knew the answer to your unspoken question, she took a sip out of her tea cup before the harsh words left her mouth.
"Your parents were, deeply intangled with the house of Hearth. They were under the care of the pervious caretaker here. They stole money from the orphanage to escape down to Fontaine during a very..." She paused, a sigh escaping her lips before she continued. "Unstable time here." She took another cup, filling with something that looked like tea but was nothing close to the fruity golden colored tea you drank, it look bitter and dark which made you hesitated to grab it, scared of being drugged. But you could tell if she wanted you dead, she would have done so way earlier and even you understood that.
You took a sip, your face barely disguising how much you didn't like her taste in tea yet a quiet hope lingered. Perhaps you were merely making things up, you were quite hungover after all so maybe it was your mind playing tricks on you.
You werent quite sure where the Harbinger infront of you was going with this but knew not to be rude and interrupt her, so she continued talking.
"They had their reasons for their escape, I suppose, but they took quite the fortune out of our funding which they built the Ballet school that got your family so.. comfortable.." A uncomfortable feeling settled in your stomach, you began to realize how much you barely knew about your parents and your brain struggled to figure out how the react to it. So you stared at the text of the contract, none of the words got past your eyes, you just stared at it struggling to comprehend what was being thrown at you so violently.
You wanted to ask more, but the person telling you the story was too unfamiliar and intimidating for you to do so. "Your parents weren't good people, [Y/n]. You had the privilege to be born their daughter, since in many cases, the dancers at the company had a less than happy ending."
Finally those words snapped you out your trance, "What– Whats that supposed to mean?" You struggled to say, because you knew you didn't want the answer. your throat felt dry just from those words leaving your mouth, whatever was coming next, somehow it felt your body already knew it as You began to crumble, your hands tightening around your dress, your teeth biting your lower lip, your head lowering.
"The performances were every season for you, but for many that wasn't enough to get paid, so Your father took the opportunity and began hosting parties behind your back. where the other students were sold out to usually older men for the night and then they would take most of the money for themselves. I'll refrain from giving you the details about what kind of acts they were forced to do but under my watch I'll be sure those things won't happen anymore." You sunk into the arm chair, feelings of anger, disgust and uncertainty clouding your mind, but one thing lingered, the last sentence.
A uncharacteristically sounding scoff left your mouth as you looked at her. "Under you watch?" You hoped she was joking, because obviously the women infront of you who hardly smiled would make a joke now. She lowered her gaze, taking a sip from her tea cup, offering no further comfort in her words.The implications of her words, it made your chest tighten and your eyes gloss over with tears you could hardly control, though your parents never admitted to it, you had your head screwed on tightly, and when your eyes lowered and catched a glimpse of those confusing heels Arlecchino wore you felt a sense of doom fall on you.
Icy cold it was but the golden points of her heels were crimson stained, a detail she either intentionally kept there or forgot about,and the contract where they had handed over everything they had, which they'd naturally never do.Their cost of their greed and Arrogance had cost them their Humanity, and now their lives, so much so The Grim reaper had come for their lives in the shape of The Knave, which to some would be considered the same thing.
You tried to keep composure yet you couldn't. Infact you almost felt anger at how disrespectfully this information was presented towards you. You hardly had any say about getting married to her to begin with and now within the time it took for you to fall asleep was your life suddenly in shambles? It felt like the purest form of unjust, yet even so you tried your hardest to maintain a sliver of formality. "I need to.. to go." Was all you could muster, you were never the loud kind, the type of person to throw and yell when your emotions pressed to hard down on your chest, you had learned from the countless painful stretches of your legs, the cracking of your back, to swallow your emotions, keep them hidden away in a bottle covered with rope and wax to never look at again.
But this was different, this was grief, and grief wouldn't go away quietly, it pushed down on your chest, forced out every last breath and then wrapped its hands around your throat as it consumes the memories you once looked at fondly and turns it into pain. So as you walked to the bedroom door, as if trying to escape it, Grief caught onto you and brought you to your knees and brought tears to your eyes. Your "Partner" watched quietly, The Knave in her wanted to see you as a grown woman who was coddled by her parents and never grew a hard shell around yourself out of protection like her.
At that moment her years of experience as "Father" unfortunately softened her heart enough that she saw a child, a child who just lost her parents, parents who never gave you the chance to have anything else but them. She sighed, putting down her empty tea cup, this was most likely the first time she had to actually comfort the person who fell victim to her actions and it felt strange, even to her. As she got down on your level, picking you up with ease that made your body stiffen when she did, it confused you that a women who didn't look typically strong when it came to her body could just life you up like than,but then again she also appeared to be the one that brought you here.
You could barely murmur a word of resistance as she picked you up and carried you to her bed. As you were put back on the bed, your eyes glazed over with a dull expression, though you knew your situation was unique, being a harbingers wife, carried the look you wore on your face like expensive piece of fashion. Glazed over eyes, tear stained faces, an expensive kind of sadness and uncertainty.
That day you felt as if something should have died within you, but rather than giving into death you felt a stubborn kind of rotting from deep within your soul. Something that would last longer than anticipated.